Power Rankings: Episode 21 – S2

Msurdej  And so, the final end to Kurdistan comes, one of the most boring civs in the game. Kurdistan was always a middling civ, never doing anything interesting or exciting. It’s biggest jump was a +/- 4. Hell the most exciting thing about Kurdistan was the fact their death led to one of most unconventional deaths in Civ V history. But now, Mustafa Barzani will join the legions of Middle Eastern Civs you forgot were in Civ Battle Royales. Like Persia. Or the Golden Horde. Or Oman.

Random Strategy:

In what is the least unexpected death of total war, the small hobo camp in the middle of a Marajoaran fortress has been cleaned up. Palmares started the game as one of the 4 contenders of south america, alongside Marajoara, Paraguay and the Mapuche (before you ask, no: Gran Colombia, Jamaica and Peru Bolivia were not contenders). There was much discussion about which one of the 4 would rule supreme over the continent, a question that has long since been answered. Palmares's advantage was their decently high stats, but unfortunately they had the weakness of half their empire being the other side of the Mapuche. This weakness became relevant when the Mapuche conquered those undefendable colonies. A bold attack by the Vandals saw Palmares lose their capital. Eventually (after more nibbles), Paraguay came in to deal the killing blow.

But wait! They weren't dead! For unexplained reasons, the Olmecs handed over Papaloapan for them to live on in. This city was completely surrounded by Marajoaran citadels which made it impregnable to anyone except Marajoara and allowed Palmares to live on until Marajoara was forced to kill them.

Altima

One could ask where things went wrong for Zanzibar, what sunk their ship and left them to die in an Antarctic megalopolis. One would be better served asking what went right in the first place, what they ever had going for them. When one starts in Ushuaia, there’s not much room to go south. They were drowned in early wars against Somalia, and failed to expand while other powers rose around them. They had the meme thing happen, and then they lost even that. Frankly, this was a better showing than their performance deserved- they outlasted the Ptolemies and Burkina Faso, just to name a pair of random African civs that tried way the hell harder than they ever did. Rest in failure, Zanzibar, and welcome to the sub forever, Barghesh bin Said, for what happened to the Neutrals shall never happen to you.

Knot

Well… That’s one way to go from a complete filler character on the cylinder to a fan favorite! Yes, Laos saw their inevitable end on the cylinder and decided it wasn’t too late to make CBRX history by becoming the first (and probably only) civ ever to kill themselves! You gotta respect that. They may have done nothing else of note all game, but they certainly went out spectacularly.

Altima

“If only…” is the final epitaph of the Sicilians; “if only we had warred upon the Vandals when we could have,” “if only we had pushed into the Middle East sooner,” “if only we weren’t trapped by an actively bad TSL and a forever war with the Germans,” if only, if only, if only. If only, then they could have been our first real Italian power, but instead they died lower than the Neutral Nation.

Vihreaa

Taiping barely manage to scrape by into cycle 2, and are the bottom ranked civ going into it. That being said, they have nothing to lose. They have been a lower tier civ for almost the entire game now, constantly being in danger from Malacca and citadelled by NYuan. Against all odds, they managed to scrape by with one city two cycle 2, and have everything to gain. Though they may have some of the lowest starting stats going into this, they have everything to gain, because nobody has expectations for them.

Msurdej

Barely surviving Cycle 1, Finland pulls itself into the next game in an unenviable position. The Soviets are still on their east flank, and the Germans are equally powerful. But Mannerheim has a chance. If he can expand westward, taking the former Swede and Welsh lands, while the other European powers ignore them, then Finland can have a chance to relive the days of being the Top Kek.

Knot

Kosovo just barely slides into cycle 2 by the skin of their teeth. They also occupy the most crowded continent in cycle 2 with the Gauls, Germany, and the USSR as very real threats that could end them at any moment and also Finland. Don’t expect any sort of large comeback from Kosovo, but with their defensive rocky position and the track record of Germany so far, it’s possible they might survive a while.

Altima

If you told me I’d be writing a PR slide for the Neutral Nation again, I wouldn’t call you a liar, but I’d definitely be very surprised. Might grab a swig of something strong. At any rate, despite having no bonuses, the Neutral Nation has been more contentious to rate than you’d expect. While they have neighbors with bonuses, those neighbors are decently further away, and they’ve got decent room to settle in before those neighbors get close.

Now, they are by no means particularly safe - they start with no military bonuses, which significantly increases the chances that they get dragged into a ruinous early war against a relevant power. Given the distances involved, it's unlikely they pull a Xia-style speedrun, but the odds aren’t zero.

Knot

Good gravy Zaire, what the heck happened to you? You went from potential winner of the continent to delicious prey for Nigeria in a single part.Nigeria annihilated you; almost 30 cities gone in a flash. Even freaking Lesotho came out of this part better than you. You start Cycle 2 a shadow of your former self, probably doomed to be crushed by a neighbor that should have been an easy target. It’s a shame. By all accounts, you should have done much better.

Altima

Despite getting their asses completely stomped by both Russias, the Uzbeks still managed to pull out of C1 alive, and for that they have been awarded a decent science bonus (they’ll have more starting techs than they had researched for several parts), and weak bonuses everywhere else. They don’t exactly have great starting geography, pressed between mountains and the Russias, but with one of those Russias being pretty nerfed and how many fronts the other has, they may well be able to skate by and rebuild. Still, Karimov is running long odds here- if he wants to survive, he’ll have to take off running, and if he wants to win, he’ll need to do more than that.

Lacsirax: Northern Yuan slightly outperformed our expectations last episode and as a result they’re bumped up a couple ranks. The worry for Northern Yuan was very simple: two very powerful neighbours would be able to squish the nation like a hydraulic press. But PARG didn’t dare enter Mandukhai’s domain after what happened last time they went to war, and the Chukchi only squeezed a couple of cities out of them before total war ended. If that had been that, Northern Yuan would have had a fantastic episode. Unfortunately, the lingering war with Malacca proved more problematic, and they did lose a handful of cities right on the last turn of the game. Still, the main operative of the episode was to pull through, and pull through they did. Cycle 2 will give our former #1s a decent chance to reestablish themselves, having the pokey Taiping to prey on and being a decent distance from PARG. But their perennially low science will be a huge setback, and there’s every chance the Chukchi will nip any lofty ambitions in the bud.

Msurdej  

What a twist! In one of the greatest upsets in CBRX2 History, Lesotho has managed to flip the script on Zaire. Now Moshoeshoe will be going to Cycle 2 with a much better position thanks to better bonuses. With Nabimbia also gone, Lesotho will have a lot of room to expand northward, and will probably beat out Zaire now. But will it be enough to defeat Nigeria?

Altima

Chola survives, stalemating Punjab to the end. Going into C2, they start at the tip of the peninsula, with mostly mediocre bonuses save for a strong science bonus, and decently far from their enemies. On balance, this isn’t great for them- the peninsula seems likely to trap them as Punjab and Malacca expand, and they don’t have the starting bonuses to hold against their neighbors should they get aggressive with their expansion. They aren’t doomed, but theirs stands to be a rough one depending entirely on the actions of others, for which they sit at a sad 14.

Altima

Despite their valiant stand against the Cylinder, losing far fewer of their African holdings to Nigeria than you’d expect and holding firm on every other front, the Vandals have still suffered reduced bonuses. As they start in a smaller Africa, still with bad geography, and dangerously close to the Nigerians, this stands to be A Problem. While their greatest existential threat still has another path of least resistance in the form of Zaire, with their bevy of neighbors, unless they can swing another intercontinental empire they stand to find themselves trapped in Africa with the Gregarious Green Giant. Now, they do have some room to go intercontinental again. In South America, Marajoara has heavily nerfed bonuses and a Rio to immediately worry about, while in North America, the only eastern “power” is the Neutrals and those guys autocorrect to have airquotes over the word “power” when you talk about them. Genseric has his work cut out for him. I’m rooting for him, but I ain’t betting on him.

Vihreaa

PARG have been a civ of quite heavy contention going into Cycle 2, as it was announced/discovered that they would be receiving much fewer bonuses to their start than many members of the sub would have expected. This has since been somewhat rectified - they’ve gone from receiving similar bonuses to Kosovo to similar bonuses to Northern Yuan, so still nerfed a fair bit. In my own opinion, PARG has been a disappointment of a civ throughout this royale. They were ranked quite highly in the beginning, but failed to make any real gains against any other civs as the royale went on. Their only real expansion occurred during total war, against Uzbekistan, a civ that was hopelessly out-teched by all of their neighbors. Cycle 2 went through many tests though, as we have been assured by Coiot, so it is safe to say that just because they aren’t getting huge bonuses to start doesn’t mean it will ruin their game.

Lacsirax: These last five civs have all been powers whose viability in Total War flagged some concerns, but managed to just about come through unscathed. And the Gauls top this little quintet largely because of their immediate neighbour. Unlike the three before, Gaul will begin the game rubbing shoulders with Germany, a civ that didn’t have as successful an episode as we expected and will certainly start with less power reach than Punjab or Nigeria. With the map crammed as tight as it is, I wouldn’t be surprised to see one of Gaul or Germany eliminating the other very quickly - but the odds on which will emerge triumphant are rapidly approaching 50/50.

Random Strategy

During total war, Germany did OKish I guess? The main plus was the partition of Kosovo with the USSR, something that was so profitable that Germany kept it going for a few more turns and were about to score an elimination when Kosovo was saved by the bell. This is particularly unfortunate because Kosovo are going to receive bonuses equivalent to their full 11 cities-worth that they had before total war, so all of Germany's efforts on that front went completely to waste. Their long-time enemy of 2 Sicilies was finally eliminated, though Nigeria ended up with the credit for it (However, I do believe that Germany is a likely culprit for the incredibly cruel nuking of their cities off the map). And Germany also made some progress against Uzbek Sweden. The big minus for Germany is their minor losses to the Gauls, a civ who should have been Germany's main rival this game only wasn't. Germany had multiple opportunities this game to severely damage the Gauls back when the Gauls were struggling for science but they never took them. Now... well, I would say that Germany is paying the price for it but they really aren't - they’ll still start with a higher stat array than Gaul.

Lacsirax: Nature is healing. After lingering around the #2 spot thanks to their phenomenal stats, only being held off the #1 spot by some rogue ranker (who I’ve heard is very intelligent and also attractive), the Kulin hurtle back down to a measly 9th. The Kulin had a pretty great episode, picking up a lot of cities in the Pacific and successfully dueling the Marajoara, even walking away with Asunción. But on the Cycle 1 map, the ceiling was always much higher. Cycle 2 plants the Kulin on a shrunken Australia with only a few non-desert tiles, next door to a Malacca that boasts equal stat bonuses and the room to use them. It really didn’t matter how well Kulin thrived in Total War; they’d never do well after the restart.

And so this apparently proved, as multiple test runs of Cycle 2 saw the Kulin stalling out incredibly early. But Coiot has told us that William Barak has received a little stat boost to balance things out more. So we can perhaps expect a little more from the Kulin than CBRX1 Australia gave us in Endgame. Still, it remains to be seen if that’s enough to beat the worst start on the map to clinch victory.

Knot

Oh, it is a wonderful day! One look at the bonuses for Rio Grande, and you can see they have finally received some good old fashioned karmic justice for their unrepentant cheating. Yes, they do deserve it; thank you for asking. Now, unfortunately, while this does make them the lowest dog not named the Neutral Nation in North America, it’s not gonna knock them out of the game completely. NA is crowded enough that they can easily bridge the gap, and they have a decent amount of room to expand south of the Dene and friends, but for a while, we can enjoy watching them struggle to survive after watching them live the cushiest existence in CBRX history. If a nation controlled by a computer can cry, I want to see it sob big, salty tears.

Altima

On the one hand, the USSR’s food and production bonuses going into C2 are actively bad compared to the Big Bois. On the other hand, their overall bonuses are just significantly better than all of their neighbors, particularly PARG, Finland, and the Uzbeks, both of whom start in the red. While early bonuses are by no means the be-all end-all, they will be critical for building a foundation in these early turns, and Lenin stands to do just that. Whether he’ll be able to follow up on that foundation is another thing entirely- he’ll need to be a lot more aggressive this time around than he was in the first Cycle.

Vihreaa

The Dene finish 6th going into Cycle 2, their highest placement yet. Being a solid underdog civ for a good portion of Cycle 1, the Dene are going into Cycle 2 in a pretty good position. With a large portion of North America to themselves, they have the opportunity to build a good core before they have to face any other civs. With Rio Grande’s stats being slightly nerfed to pay for their *cheating* and NN being the biggest underdog in the game, the Dene could be the empire to unite the continent.

Knot

Chukchi comes out of total war as one of the major winners. They not only kept most of their territory, but they knocked down Northern Yuan to size the most. This has given them some of the best bonuses possible going into Cycle Two, and these bonuses probably keep the Chukchi as high in the ranking as they are. Their Cycle Two start isn’t bad, but it’s not amazing. They’ve got Dene and Rio Grande on the continent, both of whom are very strong neighbors with better starting positions than the icy tundras in northern Canada. Honestly, Chukchi would have better luck going back into Asia. With a weak Northern Yuan, a nonexistent Taiping, and a fairly distant Malacca, they would have free rein to settle anywhere they wanted. That’s still a continent away though, so it’s not an easy settle for the AI to make. It’s possible for the Chukchi to end up with a really mediocre Cycle 2 start, but then again, that’s what we expected the first time when we ranked them 46th, and they greatly exceeded our expectations. Who’s to say they can’t do that again?

Msurdej

Punjab ended this part in a strong fourth place. They spent most of the last episode kneecapping Zaire and Uzbekistan, the latter of which will be hard pressed to stop Punjab in Cycle 2. With most of his competition eliminated, cowed, or far away, Ranjit should have no trouble establishing a powerful empire spanning most of the Middle East. Their closest rivals are Uzbekistan and Chola, so if they can muscle out one and then curb check the other, Punjab should have no trouble regaining his spot in the Top 5 for Cycle 2.

Knot

Malacca has a pretty successful total war. Not quite as impressive as it might have looked in the part as later maps show that they lost a bunch of their pacific holdings, but they still came out ahead on cities and crippled two of their neighbors in cycle two. They fall two spots mainly because their prospects in cycle two are not guaranteed. They have two easy targets early on, but to be the superpower they were before against neighbors like Punjab, the Chukchi and Kulin is gonna require some prowess and efficient building. Still we’ve seen it before, and they have the potential to do it again.

Lacsirax: Nigeria won Total War. Is that fair to say? It’s certainly how I felt when I was narrating the part, with them completely neutering their nearest rival Zaire, and finishing 17 cities up from the start of the episode. But taking a wider lens, has this really changed their prospects going into Cycle 2? They didn’t bolster their stats much - how could they? They were already firmly among the top dogs. They failed to remove the Vandals from the continent, or even do significant damage to them, and while Zaire were almost obliterated, in their wake a newly strong Lesotho was reborn. In reality, Nigeria probably did little to improve their starting situation in Cycle 2. But it’s credit to how well they played the whole of Cycle 1 that that still lands them comfortably in second.

Random Strategy

Marajoara gets through total war dead even in terms of cities gained/lost. They are neither a winner nor a loser. The great news is that with the reset, the Kulin are leaving the continent. Which means Marajoara get their own private continent! Anyone who plays civ knows how good having your own private continent is, and it's apparently enough to get Marajoara to rank 1!