Power Rankings: Episode 27 – S2

Release Date:

March 15, 2022

Narrated by:

Power-Rankers

Abstract

Power Rankings! They’re rankings of power! (But only as of the instant of the end of the previous episode, as these are not meant to be future predictions!) Power Rankings!

Viewing: Vertical

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Northern Yuan

1 / 0

1: Northern Yuan

Altima

Well that was brutal. Despite near-tech parity, the overwhelming numbers of the Chukchi Army just crushed them down to dust, finishing what fight they had left in them. For all their absurd accomplishments in C1, Total War left them a ruined wreck of a civ, and the lack-of bonuses they inherited as a result of this left them with faint hopes for the future. Still, despite everything, they managed to build a decent little civ before the New White Walkers came in and destroyed everything in two crushing wars. Rest in peace, you ridiculous underdog of a civ.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Neutral Nation

2: Neutral Nation

Vihreaa

Well all my Neutral Nation supporters out there, 16th overall is actually pretty good! Considering NN is down to just one city now, a declaration of war from any of their neighbors would spell their doom, but this part, they survived. Every placement NN rises is a win in my eyes.

3: Finland

Msurdej

Good news Finland: You’re not dead!The bad news is: You're still in the same position of dying anytime Lenin decides to kill you!

4: Gauls

Altima

So it turns out 60 Defense is a lot for this point in the game. Bibracte, its defenses bolstered by a ridiculous 49 pop, holds firm despite the Vandals throwing what appears to be their entire land army at the problem instead of using those units to fight Nigeria. Now, the Gauls are absolutely turbo-boned long term- being locked to three cities is pretty bad- but for now, their galant defense (and technological superiority over their other potential threat of Germany) gains them 1 rank.

5: Kulin

Altima

That didn’t hurt as much as it could have. While they definitely lost Red vs. Blue season three, the Kulin still hold all of their mainland. The superfortress Australia still stands, even as superjail Australia keeps the Kulin imprisoned. Malacca surrounds the Kulin, its stats growing above them as time marches on. If they can’t find a way to establish themselves elsewhere, such as a joint war alongside the Chukchi against their blue foe, time will grind them down to weakness before Malacca grinds them to dust.

6: Punjab

Cloudberg:

Punjab continues to sit down here in the doldrums below 10th place, which it should be noted is itself now in the bottom half. Punjab isn’t exactly weak, but at this point everyone else is so much stronger that they’ve ended up near the bottom. And how could they possibly get out? Their immediate neighbors are Malacca, the Chukchi, and PARG, all of which—even PARG—are now stronger than them. I just don’t see any way out, and for that reason we’ve decided to drop Punjab back from 11th to 12th.

7: Germany

Altima

Die Deutschen, sie tun nichts. A complete technological deadlock has left the Germans incapable of meaningfully warring on most of their neighbors- even the Gauls would hold out well against that horde of horsemen (caveat: that horde of horsemen is just the AI refusing to upgrade units, fuckers have Cuirassiers). My personal hypothesis based on looking at their techs v. effective science is that they’re beelining something, and I hope for them it’s a science tech, ‘cause the USSR looks quite willing to eat some horses right about now.

8: Lesotho

Vihreaa

Lesotho rises 2 ranks this week to 10th place, as they manage to fight Nigeria to an effective standstill in Africa. After the partition of what was left of Zaire, Lesotho has emerged as a regional power in Africa, able to stand toe to toe with empires that dominated in cycle one that originated in Africa. With a significantly larger military than Nigeria, Lesotho could emerge victorious as Nigeria becomes whittled down by a two front war with Lesotho and the Vandals.

9: PARG

Msurdej:

Kolchak had a great part this week, managing to take a few cities off of the USSR, and help take out his neighbor Northern Yuan, picking some a good number of cities. The problem arises however, with their new neighbors. The Chukchi could keep pushing west, and with less than half their army and production, the PARG could easily end up like the Northern Yuan. Kolchak will need to use heavy diplomacy if he wants to stay alive.

10: Rio Grande

Random Strategy

Taking 1 city off Marajoara is a good sign for things to come. Rio and the Dene are both competing for the continent with 2 superpowers flanking them: the Chukchi for the Dene, and Marajoara for Rio. And of the two, Marajoara is by the far the less scary. Now it's true that the Vandals did most of the work in the war so it's not a

11: Nigeria

Altima

Well, there went forward progress. Distracted from the Lesothan grind by the Vandal declaration, Nigeria has focused its efforts on flipfests in North Africa. While this isn’t going to go anywhere, that stalemate does mean that Nigeria gets to hold on despite being at war with an on-paper favorite. Always respectable, but while they hold center by chucking bodies to die on the coast, other powers are rising, and so they slip one rank.

12: Dene

Random Strategy

The Dene didn't really do anything this episode, but still gain a rank. They are currently slightly outstatting Rio Grande which is a good sign if anything. Of course, after obliterating Northern Yuan, the Chukchi are an even bigger worry than they were before. Better hope that they don't continue their rampage.

13: Vandals

Altima

You’d think declaring war on your southern near-peer neighbor while they’re busy fighting their own southern near-peer neighbor would be an open-shut case. You would also usually build up a land army on your mutual border before declaring such a war. The Vandals didn’t do this, and so their cities are bloodily flipping. The odds of Nigeria walking away with anything are small, but this is going to cost the Vandals some time and inertia from rebuilding the lost infrastructure and population.

14: USSR

Vihreaa

The USSR rises to fourth places this episode, as they consolidate power in Northern Europe and have no major threats to them on any of their borders. While they did lose some cities to PARG, the Ural mountains prevent any real conflict from arising between the two nations. With Germany being one of their biggest neighbors, the USSR could effectively pounce on them with a good chance of success due to their tech lead against them.

15: Marajoara

Random Strategy

Marajoara fall I rank as they lose Kakouagoga to Rio Grande, as well as Matinados and err... Matinados to the Vandals. The main reason for this defeat has got to be them employing the ”Malacca strategy”, building a bunch of your outdated UU instead of more modern ships, and then having them carry you through fights. It turns out that strategy only works when your UU is a jong; when your UU is a snake canoe the strategy works very poorly. However, Marajoara can quite easily fix the problem if they so choose. They are number 1 in science generation, so can fairly easily tech navy.

16: Malacca

Msurdej:

Another part, and Malacca picks up another two ranks. While they are still struggling to take anything off of the Australian mainland, they did pick up a pair of island cities. But if they can’t make more meaningful progress in the outback, then where can they go? Punjab, the Chukchi? The age of the Jong is almost at an end, so Mansur Shah will have to push his advantage while he still can.

17: Chukchi

Cloudberg:

The Chukchi continue their first place streak after eviscerating Northern Yuan, taking the majority of Mandukhai’s cities and dealing her an unexpected elimination. On the map, the Chukchi are the largest civ; their stats are still great; and they show no signs of slowing down. The only question is whether they might eventually run up against another worthy contender...

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