Power Rankings: Episode 4 – S2

Release Date:

March 30, 2021

Narrated by:

PowerRankers

Viewing: Vertical

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Teutonic Order

1 / 0

1: Teutonic Order

Skies: Another week at the bottom of the pile for Hermann’s depleted army, and it’s not looking like things will get any better for the guys in grey. The USSR and Germany have swelled around them, the Two Sicilies and Kosovo are performing well to the south, and the Swedes are coming to begin their European conquest a la ABBA 1973. Frankly it’d be a minor miracle if they didn’t finish last, but it’s definitely possible if they can last a little while longer. Their stats are still the resounding worst, however, and it doesn’t look like they’ll get better any time soon. At this point the Teutonic Order is basically just begging the Wendy’s cashier for scraps and hoping security doesn't kill you, whilst your neighbours use your stolen money to stuff their faces.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Teutonic Order

1: Teutonic Order

2: Peru-Bolivia

Vihreaa:

Hey, at least we aren’t the last guy, am I right? Regardless of this though, the only thing that Peru-Bolivia has going for them is that they have a lot of money- wait it’s all gone? They had like several thousand gold, how could you possibly spend that much gold that quickly?

Well, it looks like Peru-Bolivia may meet their demise soon, though they managed to escape it last part. As the clear weakest mainland South American civ, they’re likely to be a target for their neighbors as well.

3: The Tuareg

Lacsirax:There may be two civs below them, but make no bones about it - if any civ is being eliminated next week, it’s these troubled Berbers. Their capital will surely fall to Burkina Faso, peace treaty notwithstanding. That leaves them with just two cities, one being a fairly awful desert city, with nothing stopping Sankara from pushing through to take that one if he’s so inclined. Kidal, on the other hand, is fairly safe from the south thanks to the Atlas Mountains… but it’s also easy game for the Vandals whenever they feel like connecting their African holdings together. It may well be that the legacy of Tin Hinan is allowing the Vandals an easy start and providing Burkina Faso with a useful platform to bounce back - a footnote in the sagas of more enduring emperors.

4: Vietnam

Vihreaa:

You’re no Trung sisters, don’t get it twisted. Vietnam has dropped the ball pretty hard, to the point where it’s nearly impossible for them to recover. Just about all of the land around them on the main continent have been settled, and neighboring civs like Taiping are already departing for the islands off the coasts. Even their rival/neighbor Laos have been able to settle more cities than they have. At this point Vietnam is just like Canton, but worse, because they’re more forgettable. I suppose we’ll just have to see, though.

5: Somalia

Reformer:Ever since the loss of Harg- that city they gave away to Ptolemies (which the Ptolemies burnt to the ground), Somalia hasn’t been quite the same. They seem obsessed with their neighbors to the south, while ignoring all else. Could you tell they are at war with Hejaz? Not even a token effort has been shown by Somalia, even if trying to cross the sea between the two civs would be a waste of resources. So what is wrong with Somalia, and why did it bring them below the civ they seem so enamoured with? Only Nebby knows. In the meantime, I’m just hoping Zanzibar can take advantage of the opportunity and gain some longevity - because Somalia ain’t havin’ none.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Neutral Nation

6: Neutral Nation

Cloudberg:

Just when it looked like Tsouharissen was about to start expanding, everything went terribly wrong. Icelandic troops surrounded and killed one of his settlers, and while he managed to settle a third city with the other, he immediately gave it away to Iceland in a peace treaty. Now New Netherland and the Mississippi are poised to settle all his remaining lands. The Neutral Nation climbs two spots this episode due to other civs being in danger of dying, but make no mistake, they won’t get much farther: it’s looking increasingly likely that they will be stuck on two cities for the rest of the game, until they eventually get steamrolled by a more competent neighbor.

7: Hawaii

Altima

Well, another part has gone on, and in the time it took PARG and Punjab to settle five cities, Hawaii has settled zero cities, despite having undisputed custody of some Australian isles. The Tahiti war is still ongoing, but nothing’s happened there so far, which is unsurprising, given the powers involved. Still, Lili'uokalani’s not out yet. Her stats are abysmal, but she does still have a good free reign over some Australian clay should she put some spring in her step and get settling, and maybe also build up an actual navy to defend the home isles (and maybe take back the island that should also have been a home isle).

8: Jamaica

Msurdej:Marcus Garvey’s wild race to the bottom continues this week as he falls another few ranks. While he manages to not lose any more cities, the war against the Olmecs goes poorly. Portmore is in the yellow, and who holds it by the end of Part 5 is anybody’s guess. While Garvey has less troops ,the home field advantage might give him what he needs to not lose Portmore, lest his decline continue.

9: Jerusalem

Altima

Another part of suffering for Baldwin. Do you wonder if he asks himself why God put him here, in this unwinnable hellscape, where his only option is to hold out as long as he can, tormented by the eternal advances of enemies? While his tenacity in resisting thus far is admirable, it cannot last, not with his simply dreadful stats- man has the third lowest science. Not a lot of time to read when everyone wants to kill you.

10: VOC

Cloudberg:

VOC continues to rise, remaining part of an elite group of only three civs that have never dropped a rank (if you’re curious, the other two are New Netherland and the Chukchi). That said, they haven’t exactly gone very far. Nor is it clear that they can avoid dropping next week, as this episode left off with Laos assaulting VOC’s Thai colony with some elephants and a well-placed citadel. As of yet we’re not sure whether Laos can take the city, but if they do, that would be the end of VOC’s slow and steady rise.

11: Anangu

Skies:Oh god, Anangu, are you alright? That was a hell of a fall, dropping over a quarter of the table to land straight on your own sword. Or, you would’ve done if all your swords weren’t currently milling about in Indonesia. The Kulin have gone sicko mode on their backline, and are rocking up to their palace gates in droves, and even the isolated Marpeang Balug has taken no damage in response. The Anangu are floundering, make no mistake, and even though they’ve got mid-table stats, that doesn’t matter when your military evaporates and a neighbour is consuming all in front of them. A star must fall for another to rise, and here the Kulin wax, so their Australian brothers must wane. They don’t even have island colonies to escape to like the Kimberley did.

12: Manchu

Rosé:

This part witnessed the brave Manchu take part in a war against Yuanfor the ages to determine who would control the Korean peninsula that...... honestly really went nowhere. That is a good sign for the nation, keeping it above several of the other rumps, but unfortunately even if they end up taking a city or two in this war (most likely through a shit-tier peace deal) the nation still has to face off against Taiping, Chukchi, and Northern Yuan with an increase warmonger penalty. This cements the civ as above the rump zone but solidly below the “can actually make a solid game impact zone.” There are still small options for Manchu, but at this point it is delaying the inevitable.

13: Laos

Cloudberg:

Laos takes a surprising jump in the ranks this episode for a couple of reasons. For one, with four cities, they’re doing better than just about any civ with fewer than that. Their neighbour, Vietnam, is in the process of dying. Rough terrain protects them from foreign invasion. And after an ill-timed war declaration from Jan Coen, Laotian forces are approaching the city of Pontianak, which could fall if they put some effort into it. No, Laos isn’t going to become a superpower, or even a regional power, but they do deserve to go up a bit, riding on the fact that they are no longer quite as bad as they used to be.

14: Tahiti

LonelyRS

Another modest rise for the Tahitians! Don’t be fooled, though: even given their own war against Hawaii, they’re jumping in the ranks less because of their own strengths and more because the civs below them, somehow, are even worse. Not to say Tahiti’s in a bad state, mind you: they look almost respectable in many ways, their unique ability to reinforce their scattered settles gives them a greater area of power projection than almost any other civ on the cylinder, and they do have enough troops in Hawaii to stage a (likely unsuccessful) invasion of the native civ there. It’s just that, well, they aren’t very good yet either. Tahiti attracted early support because of the possibility that they could be the very first home-grown deep Pacific power, but with every part they punt on settling the vast expanse of land they’ve blanketed and fail to take any appreciable leap, their odds of world conquest become less and less likely. Tahiti are rising, yes, but their outlook’s darker than ever, and that’s because they’re on the verge of becoming the very thing they swore to destroy: boring.

They’ll probably never find themselves in the bottom ten again, though. That’s what happens when you border South America.

15: Zanzibar

Rosé:

Zanzibar is honestly a really bad civ that only seems decent on paper, but is made to look like a fool due to its somehow more incompetent neighbor Somalia. The only reasons that Zanzibar isn’t reaching the bottom 10 all include their neighbors biding their time or just sucking at life. Madagascar is still an option I guess, but i can speak for all of the rankers when I say that nobody wants to see that again.

16: Kurdistan

Knot:

Well, someone had to be the punching bag of the Middle East… That someone was Jerusalem, but I guess all the nearby civs decided that Jerusalem looked lonely as the only rump and forced Kurdistan to join them. I don’t know what’s worse for Kurdistan: The fact that their next door neighbor, Hejaz is outpacing them in every way; the fact that Uzbekistan has come in from the north and blocked Kurdistan from expanding; or the fact that Punjab, one of the scariest civs on the cylinder, could march their army over to finish off Kurdistan on a whim. It’s gonna be a race between Kurdistan and Jerusalem to see who can make someone murderously mad first.

17: Great Perm

LonelyRS

Mm. Well, that situation could have certainly been a lot less ideal than it ended up being. It’s rare that a neighbor of Soviet Russia’s gets to go to war with them and escapes without a scratch, but coalitions can do funny things to AI diplomacy, and through it Perm managed to escape certain death, or at the very least a clipping of their tattered wings. Though really, would it be such a loss if Perm found themselves humbled and with burning wrecks where their cities used to be? You can’t even call the civ Icarus, because it never did even dare to approach the sun, let alone fly too close to it. They settled one terrible second city, and suddenly their prognosis was transformed from “mildly decent” to “surrounded by the greatest superpowers in the game, with no way out.” They’re not a bad civ, not deficient in any way, and yet they’ve been forced into the dark of irrelevance because it’s almost impossible to divine any interesting action they could take now that wouldn’t lead to their eventual death. Well, aside from taking Georgia’s northernmost cities, but I’m beginning to suspect Georgia will remain a pox among mapmakers until the end of time, and that any attempt at solving the issue will lead to swords and arrows bouncing harmlessly off mysteriously impenetrable city walls.

18: The Olmecs

Vihreaa:

I think I’ve grown to like the Olmecs. They’re playing into the part of the turtle, and have given me Korea vibes from mark 2. Whether or not they will live up to that is yet to be seen, but would be a welcome surprise in my opinion. They’re currently engaged in what looks to be a successful war against Jamaica, about to take their westernmost city, which could springboard them into settling a Caribbean empire, which is always a fun thing to see.

19: Namibia

LonelyRS

Good news: Namibia’s no longer at war! Okay, maybe that’s a little inaccurate, but unless Nigeria discovers paratroopers next part or something (which might not be too unlikely, given how fast they’ve progressed), Morenga should get to keep all his cities except, say, Gibeon for the foreseeable future. In recognition of this feat of diplomacy, then, he’s given five ranks and a star sticker that ought to provoke some envy on the playground. Not that this ought to do much more than delay his end, of course, given how much separation Lesotho’s beginning to put between the two civs, but delay his end it will, and if he’s lucky or particularly skilled with a boat he may be able to outlive his neighbor yet. He’ll have to be lucky, though, to do that, or skilled with a boat, and given that we’ve seen neither attribute manifest itself in Jacob Morenga, it’s safe to assume his game’s become a matter of stalling for time anyhow. Though it’s not like a comeback would be impossible: South America’s merely one ocean and a opportune war declaration away, after all. If he’s skilled with a boat.

20: TAT

Vihreaa:

Our Three Affiliated Tribes seem to be stalling, and not sure what to do going forward. After losing a war and city to the Dene, TAT seems to have just been playing on autopilot, not really settling many new cities or declaring new wars. This will likely prove unfortunate for them, though, as they have now been surrounded by 3 strong civs in North America. This of course doesn’t leave them many options to expand, so if you’re asking me, it’s only a matter of time until they meet their untimely end.

21: Wales

Skies:Owain, do you need a lock for your back door? Only, lots of foreigners are slipping into your garden and establishing cities. Two of the major continental powers are setting up bases in Britain at present, with Iceland already having claimed Scotland. The Gauls emerging as contenders is even worse news for the Welsh, as it further limits their chances of inroads to Europe. Their stats are promising though, with good tech and great growth, so perhaps they can capitalize on the isolation of the erstwhile colonists invading their personal space yet. They’re not far off their archers which might make naval invasion basically impossible for a short while too, or better yet- provide an opportunity to strike out and carve out a European destiny for this timid dragon.

22: Gran Colombia

Knot:

What cruel world is this? How can such a reality exist where Gran Colombia has one of the worst starts in CBRX history, being nothing more than a punching bag for Jamaica of all civs, and still has an unlikely but entirely possible shot of winning? South America is full of civs that did not start off completely squandering any hopes laid upon them, and yet you, Gran Colombia, you continue to do the bare minimum to try and recover from your inept farce of a start, and the worst part is that it’s working. Marajora could not muster the forces to end you, so your hopes continue to survive. It’s not fair, I say! it’s not fair!

23: Tongva

Knot:

This part, Tongva finally declared peace with the Mississippi and the Olmecs. Thank goodness! That war was clearly just destroying their resources considering that basically no blood was shed and no cities were flipped. Now that all these very relevant events are behind them, they can get back to doing absolutely nothing and being outclassed on all sides. Hooray!

24: Finland

Vihreaa:

Finland doesn’t see much movement in the rankings this part, rising a few ranks, but rankings can be very fluid in the bottom 2/3rds of the rankings to be honest. With the USSR to their south and east, Finland’s only real opportunity for expansion is into Sweden. Having already settled on the western Scandanavian coast, they’re well off to start, they just need to get a successful war with Sweden pulled off. If they can manage to do that, then they fare to become a regional power with a degree of influence. I wouldn’t want to be bordering both Germany and the USSR though...

25: Sweden

Reformer:

Sweden get a small correction upward despite making one of the worse blunders available: giving away a core city that wasn’t even in danger. Worse yet, the Germans can reinforce the city across the Baltic Sea with their far superior production, meaning the city is likely gone for good unless the Swedes get lucky with a coalition. With Germany encroaching on Scandinavia, hope is fading...but hope lives on, in the form war against the crippled Teutons. The religious order was even kind enough to settle another city so that Sweden wouldn’t have to face the warmonger penalty for eliminating a civ, but still, I have my doubts about Sweden actually being able to take the city. Naval assaults are not an AI’s best friend...

26: Kosovo

LonelyRS

Honestly? For a civ that stumbled into war with every one of its neighbors? Kosovo’s done quite well for themselves. But the Power Rankings are a harsh, cruel, unempathetic beast, and they care not for thrilling underdog stories or exceeded expectations, and so down into the bottom half Kosovo goes, for a variety of reasons most chief among which is the imminent loss of their capital. Well, okay, maybe not imminent, given that the city’s on good health and has repelled its invaders for the moment, but Pristina came scarily close to falling to Two Sicilies, might come scarily close to falling again, and is also probably the most important city Kosovo has at the moment. Gjakove’s fallen and the recent conquest of Mtskheta’s getting there, but Ibrahim Rugova would trade both those cities and more for the security of not having invaders a stone’s throw outside his palace, and he’d do it in a heartbeat. Credit to Kosovo: they’ve done much better than almost anyone would have expected, given the circumstances they’ve found themselves in. But if they want to be considered a big fish in Europe ever again, they’re going to have to not just exceed expectations, but utterly transcend them.

27: Hejaz

Skies: Well, Hejaz haven’t had the best time of it lately, being dogpiled on by half of India and Africa, but they’ve managed to hold their own quite well. The Ptolemies have been stalled from crossing the Red Sea, and Punjab has recoiled after Kerkuk was passed straight onto Hejazi torches. Most concerning, though, is their immensely low tech count, just 11- lower than even the Teutons or Peru-Bolivia. How they’ve managed this will forever be a mystery (perhaps due to their abysmal population), but this combined with negative gold and minimal food means that their empire is sat upon pillars of sand. Whether it will collapse soon, is anyone’s guess however, but unless something changes you can bet that it will.

28: Georgia

LonelyRS

It’s commonly said that where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Using that maxim, then, it wouldn’t be absurd to come to the conclusion that everyone’s favorite triple-cored empire was like a Californian forest in July. Two wars against neighbors! A flipped city! Even more absurd city settles! And yet, reading the part, one can’t help but feel that for Georgia, things were… relatively calm? Sure, they got involved in two wars, but peaced out before they could get anything. They lost a city, but seemed rather unbothered by it. Not so much as a single second was spent harping on their new settles. Georgia may be a fan (or at least PR) favorite, and they may seem fully and completely opposed to the concepts of consistency and sense, but so far things have been quiet for them, arguably quieter than they should be for the apparent favorite in the Middle East. Still, sleep on Georgia at your own peril. They may surprise you, though whether it will be by taking the Cylinder’s heart by storm or suiciding into Lenin is still up in the air.

29: Japan

LonelyRS

Say what you will about Japan, but know this: despite how often they’ve failed, they’re still swinging for the stars. Whether their unique blend of ambition and stupidity is, of course, up to the cruel whims of the gods and Mandukhai, who is not quite a god but is powerful enough to where it hardly matters, but every time they’ve gotten knocked down Japan has stubbornly risen back to their feet and tried again. Chukchi invade from the north? Keep settling Siberia! Siberia under attack? Send half your army to defend it! The bottom half of your home archipelago still open and begging for attention? Ignore it and send a settler to Indonesia! Japan defies all common logic, sense, or structure. They are a civ that truly lies beyond our understanding, one which makes its home in dimensions far removed from ours, and fills out alignment charts with bread and ramen on opposite ends of the y-axis as opposed to good and evil. To attempt to predict their next move is an exercise marked by desperation and futility. Japan doesn’t act, want, or think. Japan simply is. And right now, Japan is one melee unit away from losing a city to the target of a coalition war.

30: Paraguay

Knot:

You know a lot of people expected Paraguay to be dead by now; a victim of a coalition they started by denouncing everyone. What are we supposed to do with them when they instead become a relatively minor power on a continent full of incredibly mediocre civs? Like is Paraguay good? Not really, but so is everyone else in South America, so the constant wars they keep waging might actually mean they could gain some territory. Paraguay could make themselves the strongest civ in South America... Maybe? I don’t know.

31: Chola

Altima

The Chola are a prime example of the importance of neighbors. Their stats are actually pretty good- high city count, acceptable production and science, but they have the misfortune of a neighbor stronger in every way, and one who has definitely shown an inclination towards violence. The Chola aren’t doomed yet, but their situation is increasingly tenuous as the Punjabi grow. Hejaz is still a viable potential target, but the Chola need to act fast on that one before someone else eats them.

32: Mapuche

Reformer:

And so, it seems that the rankers’ overvaluing of even a single South American civ has come to an end. South America has proven a peculiar continent this season, with no clear frontrunner, and only floundering and failing nations. Among these, Mapuche was given extra value for good initial stats and a better-than-most start in the corner, but the benefit of these has slowly slipped away, the notable proof of such being the failure to kill the Peru-Bolivians, who are playing a one city challenge except the AI can’t decide if it actually wants to play the challenge or not. Mapuche stats have indeed fallen below the average, now worse than Paraguay or Marajoara. Or Palmares, for that matter, but at this point, that isn’t a fair comparison. All the same, Mapuche are slipping, and they are slipping hard - it will take a lot of effort to correct the current trend. Godspeed.

33: Rio Grande

Lacsirax:Quiet one for the rootin’ tootin’ Rosillo. Not much rootin’ or tootin’, not even much high falutin’. Just getting lightly battered by New Netherland before suing for peace. Wonder what they gave them. Mohair?

Rio Grande’s situation hasn’t changed much since last episode, anyway. Weak-ish neighbours in the Olmecs and the Tongva are still weak-ish, threats like the Mississippi are still very much a threat, though their focus on expanding north this episode will be a relief for the citizens of the Gulf Coast. Still, RG don’t really have the luxury of space and time - with very limited room left for nearby settles, they need to pounce on someone fast for any chance of remaining relevant.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of New Netherlands

34: New Netherlands

Knot:

I don’t think anyone expected New Netherlands to be in the running for North American dominance. I mean sure, they were doing better than the Neutrals, but the Neutrals are one of the biggest disappointments on the cylinder, so that’s not a high bar to pass. However, now they’ve shown themselves to be surpassing the RIo Grande, which is like a semi serious threat on the continent. They could have put a pretty serious dent in the Rio Grande had they not chickened out at the last moment. That kinda sucks, but it doesn’t change the fact that they demonstrated some pretty scary prowess, and they don’t show any signs of slowing down. We might have to start actually paying attention to New Netherlands. I know, I didn’t expect it either.

35: Marajoara

Cloudberg:

A successful invasion of Gran Colombia propels Marajoara to its highest rank since episode 0, climbing back into the top half. Despite having relatively little space to expand, Marajoara’s stats are pretty good, and they took Panamá from Gran Colombia without much difficulty, suggesting that military conquest is a viable escape strategy. Most of their neighbours are either weaker than Marajoara or of similar strength, and it’s not hard to imagine that any of them could potentially be defeated if P’kuee plays her cards right. It might also be a good move to take after Palmares and expand into the Caribbean, taking the islands that Jamaica has failed to settle. And if she’s quick there’s still some room in the Amazon for a couple more cities there as well. Overall, things are looking up for Marajoara.

36: Bhutan

Random Strategy

Despite being at war with the terrifying Punjab (which they initiated), Bhutan only lose 1 rank. I guess the plan was to curb Punjab early on before it becomes too late, which I guess is an OK plan, but I am dubious at the choice of allies: the Kosovo fan club. They are all rather far away and too busy fighting the anti-Kosovo alliance to send any troops over to this second conflict. I would much rather have brought Uzbekistan and Chola to this fight. At any rate, the war doesn't appear to be working out which is a shame. In the meantime, Bhutan has claimed the entirety of Tibet with a ring of cities: a large well defended region that they will be able to defend for many parts to come.

37: Spain

Random StrategyLast part, Spain was trapped by two civs who they cannot defeat: the Vandals and the Gauls. So I guess that's the end of Spanish activity then? Just sit around here trapped until a bigger civ comes along? Not if Carlos can help it! Spain's escape route is into Ireland, which Wales has forgotten to settle. The long term plan is to use Ireland as a staging ground for an amphibious assault on Wales, which would then give Spain the space required to take on bigger targets like the Gauls or Iceland. But these are still early days: many things could still go wrong with the plan and leave Spain right back where they started: trapped.

38: Yuan

Cloudberg:

Yuan takes a tumble as they go another part without really doing anything significant. Their neighbors Northern Yuan and Taiping are expanding like crazy, and it’s not clear so far that Yuan is doing what it needs to do in order to keep up. They’re currently attacking the Manchu, but incredibly, it seems like they might not take any cities. Without some major upgrades to their military infrastructure and a few more cities, Yuan is in danger of becoming the third wheel of China. And if that wasn’t enough, Yuan is losing a ton of money, and if this continues their science is going to tank. Seriously, Kublai, this is your last chance to become a superpower, and you’re on track to blow it.

39: Dene

LonelyRS

So! To recap: two parts ago, the Dene fought a damaging, grinding, bloody war against the Three Affiliated Tribes, aiming to claim the city of Sepoosha, what was probably at the time the best city the Four Bears had to offer. They failed to take and hold the city, largely out of their own incompetence, and resigned themselves to being trapped against the great cloudy wall of North America, waiting for another opening to come. By the Dene’s standards, this was a good part. This part, the Dene fought a damaging, grinding, bloody war against the Three Affiliated Tribes, aiming to claim the city of Sepoosha, what was probably at the time the best city the Four Bears had to offer. They failed to take and hold the city, largely out of their own incompetence, and resigned themselves to being trapped against the great cloudy wall of North America, waiting for another opening to come. By the Dene’s standards, this was a good part. Ladies and gentlemen, the third best civ in North America!

The Dene aren’t going to be superpowers; the ship for that, if not already sailing the open seas, has certainly left the port. But they have, through either a rare stroke of competence or their own dumb luck, guaranteed themselves some mild notoriety as a nation with weight to throw around, and that’s more than just short of anyone on the continent can say. The only problem, of course, is that of the Dene’s three neighbors, two of them are the only other civs in the continent who’ve bothered to establish themselves. In all likelihood, the Dene could take some cities belonging to the powers on their border were they to strike fast: the Mississippi have been mildly overextended for as long as they’ve been alive, and the Chinook are somehow even more fixated on Four Bears than Thanadelthur is. But in all likelihood, the Dene are probably going to keep throwing units against the Tribes until the end of time, trying the same thing over and over again and wondering why the result is never any different.

It’s a greater life for them than any we ever dared to dream of.

40: Lesotho

Rosé:

The south of Africa has produced some absolute units to destroy the cylinder, regardless of the victor. While the chances are closing, Lesotho can still hypothetically join that list. Sure Lesotho is definitely the black sheep of africa, with Nigeria, Ptolemies, and the Vandals all outshining them, but Lesotho can still expand by conquest. All of Lesotho's neighbors are weak, and cannot support a larger military, and all Lesotho needs to do is divide and conquer, and stall to rebuild. Though the one thing we know about the mysterious civ AI, is that it cannot prioritize taking individual civs and cities for its life, so that may be an uphill battle.

41: Iceland

Lacsirax:Eldjarn’s main crime this week was not quite living up to expectations. Hell, on the face of it this week’s pretty much a home run - immediate neighbour Wales are rapidly losing control of their home island leaving a piecemeal mesh of foreign city states that shouldn’t be hard to sweep through, and they successfully wrangled the Neutral Nation’s only new city in 110 turns through a pernickety peace treaty. But both of these events have huge what-ifs attached to them. What if Iceland had seized the initiative in Britain and outsettled Wales themselves? What if Iceland had organised their military better and taken the juicier prize of Niagara? All in all we expected more of Eldjarn, and that’s probably why he’s taken a little knock in the rankings. But he is still by no means in a bad position - his core is possibly the safest on the cylinder at the moment, and he still has no truly strong neighbours to speak of. His ceiling is high, and his floor isn’t that low - but currently, he’s a little too close to the latter.

42: Palmares

Random Strategy:This week Palmares won a naval war against the Mapuche, obtaining Kura Rewe. They have followed this up with a stream of settlers to colonise Palmargentina, land which was assumed to be Mapuche territory. However, these cities are still extremely small and vulnerable. All Paraguay has to do is settle a coastal city and they will be completely cut off from the Palmarene core - if that happens the Mapuche will have no problem grabbing the whole lot. As with all south american civs, they are getting a massive boost in the rankings due to the absence of any competent civs on their entire continent.

43: Gauls

Msurdej:Vercingetorix came roaring back from his setback last week, securing a spot in the Top 20. This part we truly saw the power of the Oathsworn, the troops marching against Spain and Wales to great effect. Sadly though, despite the advantage, the Gauls were only able to get the newly resettled Santiago de Compostela. Once again, Vercingetorix needs to work on his diplomacy, lest his armies’ effectiveness wane.

44: Nigeria

Msurdej:While they are still the big brain bois of Africa, Nigeria does fall a few places. Sure, they took Gibeon off of Namibia, but it was a long arduous process, flipping the city more than half a dozen times. Furthermore, the lead on science they had last part has shrunk considerably, now only single digits above the runner up. With all of the action happening in West Africa, Nigeria has certainly missed out so far. But shrewd planning by Awolowo could still lead to a victory for Nigeria.

45: Burkina Faso

Skies:Has the wild Faso ride finally stopped? As the next meteoric climb on the Burkinabe Back-breaking Bulletcoaster eases off, they’re putting boots straight into Tuareg ribs, and are probably odds-on to go straight to their capital if they don’t get distracted too much by peripheral cities. Unfortunately that Nigerian setback has allowed Awolowo and Genseric to ramp up and challenge their chances of becoming the undisputed African giants, and even Zaire are coming back into the picture slowly. They’ve overridden their current expansion cap, however, and this might come back to bite them in the coming war, as they might not be able to keep any Saharan gains they’re positioned to make. If they can keep any, though, and hold off any coalitions, then they’ll be set to strike out once more. Although they do bring to mind the Songhai, with even stronger neighbours, and that’s not a good precedent to have.

46: Uzbekistan

LonelyRS

Some civs have good positioning. Some civs do not. And then there’s Uzbekistan, who must have walked under a ladder upon which rested a black cat dropping mirrors in its youth, because otherwise there’s no explanation other than cruel fate that tells of how the civ came to be right next the game’s current top two. Yes, Uzbekistan is a lion, with some of the best stats and conquests in the game, but they’re a lion among dragons, and claws and teeth just sort of look silly when your neighbors can breathe fire and have nigh-invulnerable hides. Is Uzbekistan bereft of options? Hardly: they just stormed through half of Kurdistan with nary a thought, could feast for days on the perpetually-weakened Great Perm to their north, are flanked by the comedically scrambled Georgia, and even have a war with Hejaz going on right now, though if it leads to anything it figures to be the biggest surprise of the mark so far. But Islam Karimov’s certainly going to find it much harder to claw and scrape his way to the top of the tower, and he’s going to have to be much more careful. Uzbekistan’s in a good position right now, but a few too many warmonger penalties a few too many parts from now could attract one of the dragons’ gaze, and, while lions have many virtues, they are still flammable.

47: Two Sicilies

Rosé:

Damn Two Sicilies where the hell did that come from! So after some admittedly impressive but inconsequential performances against the Gauls and Germany, but the real highlight comes from their siege of Kosovar Greece, where the nation took two cities and plans to take a third (that being the capital). Keep in mind that Kosovo was not an easy opponent, one that I considered to be a top ten power for the longest time (until now of course). Not to mention Two Sicilies was sitting on a high production and tech gain for the longest time and didn’t really use it until now. Hell with Kosovo out of commission for at least a little bit, Spain and the Gauls can be steam rolled with relative ease. The only problem for the nation, which keeps it out of the top 10, is what happens after the Mediterranean is carved up with only power houses left. Ptolemies, Germany, and the Vandals are all near the nation and have massive armies and production, to rival the nation, Germany in particular being problematic. However, if Two Sicilies can take the Balkans and defend them against their neighbors, we may see a pure Mediterranean empire.

48: Chinook

Knot:

Chinook falls a few spots, not because they did anything wrong per se, but mainly just because they haven’t quite lived up to expectations. Not only do the Three Affiliated Tribes and Tongva lack the resources to stand up to Chinook, but the Chinook still have gaps to expand into. They could be ramping up a large empire, but they seem more content to just chug along, and throw a few insults at Fourbears from across the mountains. At the close of the last part, they did seem to finally push into TAT territory, so we may see Chinook float back up next part, and it is not as if they’re floundering in any way. Rest assured that they still remain one of the top powers on the continent

49: Zaire

Random Strategy: This week Zaire continues to settle the empty African centre, including lake Victoria (which was ignored by Somalia and Zanzibar). Africa is a very competitive region, with the Vandals, Ptolomies, Nigeria and Burkina Faso all looking very strong in their own ways. However, Zaire has one thing they do not have: weak neighbours on all but their northern border. Somalia and Zanzibar are pathetic and Namibia is getting destroyed by the Nigerian navy. Lesotho is the only one here that poses a problem, but is still weaker than the big African 5 due some severe science problems. If Zaire can take advantage of their weak south/east while the other big African civs are distracted with each other, Zaire could become the next Boers/Zanzibars. The main problem is that their jungles do not provide very much production.

50: The Chukchi

Knot:

In theory, the Chukchi are in an excellent spot. They have better stats than anyone in North America, and everyone except Taiping in East Asia. They held the line against their biggest threat, Japan, and they have the army to do some manifesting of destiny if they need to. They are on paper, one of the strongest civs at the moment, matching top tier civs like PARG and Mississippi in basically every metric.

In practice, I worry they have no way to take advantage of that potential power. The issue with Chukchi is that they’re stuck between two continents. They are a weird frankenstein-esque power rooted next to Asia, but with most of their core cities closer to North America. Their best route to expansion remains Japan, but not only is Japan a tough bugger to keep down, but that would put them dangerously close to powerhouses like Northern Yuan, Taiping, and even classic Yuan, with no real land foothold to reinforce incursions against these civs, and lacking the later game tech to enforce an asian stronghold by sea. North America is even worse. There’s no way that the Chukchi can get past the Chinook with their large navy and strong core cities. The Chukchi remind me a lot of Australian civs like the Kulin or the season 1 Aussies: they seem incredible in theory, but I’d need to see them land a foothold somewhere before I’ll be fully convinced.

51: The Ptolemies

Msurdej:Cleopatra falls a few ranks out of the top 10, but it was a close one. Her stats aren’t that bad, but while Africa was a hotbed of activity, she didn’t do much of anything. Most of her work was in diplomacy, ending a few wars and starting some new ones. The war with Hejaz and Kosovo has been fought with the few ships Cleopatra can muster, but it seems unlikely she will capture any cities in either war. What would be better would be focusing on the south and west, where wars could allow the Ptolemies a foothold in more of Africa.

52: Northern Yuan

Lacsirax:Corr! Look at that war list! Mandukhai might just be the most combative gal on the cylinder right now. And it’s credit to her that her empire looks all the better for it, already taking cities from the long running #1 PARG and facing no serious charge from the only of their rivals that could feasibly do damage to them, the Chukchi. Add to that a healthy chunk of new cities and you can see why the queen of our hearts back in Part 0 has returned to the top 10. And with room to roam and definitive proof that none of their borders can hurt them, Northern Yuan should be here to stay.

53: Kulin

LonelyRS

“And here we go! The Battle for Australia, version three, live on CBRX! I’m Bebejern, the man drowning his sorrows to the right of me is Kunmanara, and boy, have we got a fight on our hands! Let’s send it over to our sideline reporter, Semiramis, for an in-depth report on the competitors! Semi, why don’t you take it away.”

“Thank you, Bebejern. I have to say, I’ve covered a lot of bloody battles in the outback in my day, but I don’t think I’ve seen anyone more prepared to do battle there than William Barak. He’d been preparing for this day for a long time, he told me, from the very moment he’d set foot on the cylinder. His army was ready, he’d built his cities for the sole purpose of getting to Tjilpi’s capital, and when I asked him about how he’d defend Coolaroo or overcome the Anangu’s catapults he simply laughed and said he had a plan for it. I’m with his main force of diorite axemen right now, guys, and I have to say: based on what I’m seeing, Tjilpi should be shaking in his boots right now. Back to you, Bebejern.”

“Thanks for another fabulous report, Semiramis. Kunmanara, I know you’ve been pulling for the Anangu since day one: what do you think of their chances?”

“I think I’m going to need another three drinks before I’m qualified to answer that question.”

54: Taiping

Altima

I’ll admit, I was skeptical of Hong Xiuquan going into this- his AI was reportedly pretty boring, and all I’d seen of him in other AI games was mediocrity. But he has performed pretty well thus far, building a decent little empire for himself. With the best science and production and tied for highest city count in theater, he’s well on his way to Chinese dominance if he can keep up. Still, one does have to look askance at his war record- while it is a shared failing among all the Chinese civs, he has yet to actually take a city by conquest, and that has to change if he wants to win.

55: Malacca

LonelyRS

In lieu of talking about Malacca’s three slot drop, I would instead like to talk about Hai Phong. In life, it was the birthplace of Lê Chân, an all-around badass who served as a general under the Trung sisters, and the city later became the impetus for the First Indochina War and a major North Vietnamese port in the Vietnam War, before eventually becoming an industrial center. It’s nothing if not a survivor, a city destroyed and rebuilt numerous times in only the last century and a half but still worthy of the title “Flamboyant”. In the CBRX2, it is Malaccan. There’s a lot of cities which are Malaccan, now, but as Malacca’s first conquest kept instead of discarded, it might just be the most relevant and interesting of all. Some day, we may look back on Hai Phong, and think not of the saturation slider in Photoshop but of a legend’s beginnings, wonder how it felt to be the spark that lit the match that started the fire which burned the Cylinder to the ground.

Or the Kulin might conquer all of Australia in a part then sweep Malacca away like a dust bunny on a hardwood floor the next time the two Oceanic powers come to blows. Still an interesting city, though.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Mississippi

56: The Mississippi

Lacsirax:Odd old part for Tuskaloosa. We saw a pretty meaty military marching north last episode, and mused on whether it was aimed towards the Dene, TAT or maybe even the Neutral Nation. But seemingly the more prosaic answer is that it was merely an escort for a handful of settlers, with the Mississippi staking a healthy claim on the Great Lakes and James Bay (the bay, not the singer). In fact, the Mississippi end this episode completely at peace. Peaceful expansion is still expansion though, and it’s no surprise that Tusky has held pretty steady in the rankings. Quick word of advice though, if you don’t mind - please take out those lil’ Rio Grande settles now rather than later. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

57: Msurdej

The Vandals:Rounding out the Top 5, we have The Vandals. And when looking at the stats, it's clear to see why. They have stats on, or near the top of most important stats, including the all important largest military. But there is one important flaw in Genseric’s empire: a small number of cities. Boxed in by Spain, Burkina Faso, Tuareg and even the Ptolemies, there is now very little room for the Vandals to settle. But they can certainly take things by the sword, swooping down to take apart, clean up, or take revenge on a weakened Tuareg or Burkina Faso. Time may be running out for the Vandals to expand, but they can certainly conquer to boost that time.

58: USSR

Cloudberg:

Lenin rises back into the top 5 after briefly dropping to 6th. Why? Well, maybe it’s the large number of new cities founded by the USSR this episode, or maybe it’s their good stats, but personally my money is on their PERFECTLY STRAIGHT eastern border. That border was clearly drawn using a ruler. It’s so straight that it won’t clean its own asshole because that’s gay. Seriously, it stands out on the map like a sore thumb, it’s great.

59: Germany

Altima

Someone want to tell me when Wilhelm let Bismark back in? That’s the only explanation I can muster for that impressive feat of diplomacy that was the taking of Gothenburg. The Swedish-German war should have been a nothingburger, but without a swing of a blade, the Germans now have Scandinavian clay. Still, even as sparse as the Swedish army is, if Carolinus decides he wants to retake it, its falling, so the city isn’t a permanent boon for Wilhelm, but its always nice to help keep rivals down as you grow. And grow he has- great production, science, city count, just everything he needs to actually conquer Europe this time around.

60: PARG

LonelyRS

Kolchak and the Provisional All-Russian Government? Not in first? It’s more likely than you think! To be fair, though, it’s hard to fault the rankers for Best Russia’s modest slide down the ranks: taking another one of Perm’s cities was impressive, but losing another in a war they started was kind of, um, an ugly look. Still, though, hardly any reason to worry: Vladivostok was more a glorified outpost than anything, and Northern Yuan’s going to have to pull off a minor miracle to get anything else. And, really, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise to see the PARG back on top just one part from now. They’re between conquests, yes, but when practically all your neighbors are one timely DoW away from being such, that matters a little less than you might think. So enjoy first place, Ranjit Singh, and all the prestige that comes with it. You might not have any of it for very long.

61: Punjab

Reformer:Welcome to the top of the pile, Punjab. Enjoy what is likely a very temporary stay, it’s an ever-changing world out there. With the pleasantries out of the way, Punjab are entirely deserving of their spot - with stats only barely below PARG and Vandals, and a good showing of aggression and expansiveness so far, it would be difficult to put them anywhere else. Notably, their overall stats are being held down by their military, exhausted after much war, meaning with a little time, they will be an absolute #1 in stats. The only real source of concern for Punjab is their location. India is infamously difficult to break out of, and for Punjab this is no different. Around them is either sea or mountains, with Uzbeks, Bhutan, and Chola being the only neighbors within easy reach, and even then the Uzbeks are both fairly strong, and behind rugged rough mountainous terrain. Bhutan on the other hand has focused settling efforts northward past Himalaya, thus ensuring that Punjab would struggle past the cities Bhutan has in India itself, and Punjab would be left but one easy target: Chola, the one civ that Punjab could conquer without neighboring a new civ afterward. All in all, Punjab is likely to remain strong for a long while now, especially if they continue to chomp bits and pieces off Chola, but the longterm forecast is...bleak.

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