Power Rankings: Episode 6 – S2

LonelyRS

Well, that escalated… about as quickly as could be expected, really, given the circumstances? The Tribes were already at war with the Mississippi and losing bad before the part even started, so, honestly, their geopolitical situation’s probably improved now that the two civs are at peace. In the same way a dead man has less enemies than a living one, sure, but Four Bears has to look for positives where he can find them, and those parts of his empire which aren’t flaming wrecks are growing few and far between. The Chinook aren’t at the gates, per se, but they’ve grown uncomfortably close, and as the bounty of half his empire’s farms turns to smoke in the air and the likes of the Dene forward settle brazenly fearing no consequences, it’s become clear that the Three Affiliated Tribes’ time has very short indeed. The runts of the North American litter might be able to hold off the remnants of Chinook’s army for now, but even if they do, all they’ll be doing is putting their fate into a different pair of hands. Four Bears is dying. The only question now is when.

Altima

        To the drowning man, every moment is a victory. Somehow, the Welsh have avoided death again this part. Part of that seems to be that the Gauls, in their unfathomable wisdom, decided to leave all their melee units on the continent for the future fight against Germany, a fight that will at the very least distract them long enough that they might swing another dumb peace deal from the Gauls. This is still more hope than the TAT have, so they get 60 instead of 61.

Knot

It was almost good for Somalia there. Really, it was, and then Hejaz just demolished them and sent them to the rump club, and then decided to call all their friends to come and finish them off before just getting bored and leaving. Well, it was nice while it lasted Somalia.

LonelyRS

Legend has it that, should you pay Kulin lands a visit, you might notice something interesting outside Coolaroo. First, your eyes might be drawn to the fortresses, the massive military barricades preventing travel to and fro an area hidden from view behind them. Curious, given the common knowledge that Australia belongs only to the Kulin, only has, but not too unusual. But then, say you pay a visit to the land behind the barriers. A mystical land named Amata, with citizens speaking different languages, swearing that they’re not of the Kulin even as those from the country in question travel through the streets with casual ease. Now, you might come out of that land believing them, repeating what they say about a people called the Anangu, who once dominated this land. Or you might dismiss it all as a citywide delusion and move on, secure in the knowledge that the Kulin were the only relevant civilization to ever arise here. But, really, would either view impact your life in any way?

Rosé: Vietnam has survived its war with Taiping and lives to see another day. Fortunately for Vietnam, their position will likely mean that they stay alive at least until the civs around it reach the modern era.  Even so, the civ has little to no strategic value besides a slightly quicker passage route for either Malacca or Taiping, so they will likely live a lot longer. If this is sounding like a back handed compliment to the civ, that's because it is. Vietnam is in such a bad position right now, it is paradoxically unlikely to die any time soon, a sort of limbo between life and death.

Knot:

I have nothing but positive things to say about the Teutonic Order this week. They’re doing a real great job not dying. A lot of the other rumps are in mortal danger, but the Teutonic Order are not that. This is a grand achievement and we should all celebrate.

Knot

I think karma has finally come back to bite Jamaica. and I thought that already happened when they lost all their gains to Gran Columbia, but I was wrong. Jamaica’s very existence as an island civ between North and South America is apparently an insult to, uh, everyone. I wouldn’t bet on Jamaica being the first to die, but I would not bet on them sticking around a long time at this rate.

Lacsirax: If you’re racing through these early ranks to see who we put in the top 10, well, let me now slow you down here. There’s nothing to say on PB that we didn’t say last week. They may be at war with Paraguay and Gran Colombia, but until the Mapuche send in the warships, Santa Cruz can put his feet up and enjoy the lovely Peruvian weather. Does Peru have lovely weather? I’ve not been.

Altima

        Well, they’ve got two cities left, neither is their capital, and neither is distinguishable from the borders of the Vandals, but the Tuareg still live and are at peace with the civ that just rump’d them. More than some can say.

Msurdej

Jerusalem stands, if only by a miracle of god. The Ptolemies were bashing at the gates, and managed to grab the capital from Baldwin. However, with a health dosage of DEUS VULT, Jeusalem managed to retake the Holy Land. How long they can keep it for, is another story. The city looks set to fall, and with Cleopatra’s troops around Tripoli, it too looks like a goner. Thankfully, Baldwin settled a new city... in the middle of hejaz territory... WOMP WOMP

LonelyRS

Given the knowledge that most civs’ most interesting parts happen shortly before their death, and only that, you could probably surmise that this part was decidedly not good for U Kix Chan. After you read it, you might find yourself thinking “Well, I’ve rarely seen a civ fall that hard without losing a single mainland city.” Both of these assertions, unfortunately for the Olmecs, are correct. Their awkward position means that terrain, at least, is on their side, but facing a coalition comprised of the three mildly terrifying neighbors they have the jungles and mountains of Central America appear to be the only allies in their corner. Good Olmec men are dying by the dozens in vain attempts to flip Gran Colombia’s Panama canal, the New Netherlander navy is assembling outside of the recently conquered Portmore, and, right, their capital city might have more Rio Grande horsemen than people in it, right now. Times like these, the facts of your neighbors’ baffling incompetence are just about the only things you can stand on. Lucky, then, that Rio Grande’s forgotten that boats exist.

Random StrategyHawaii rise 1 spot due to the Olmecs and Jerusalem getting invaded by a significant force and dropping below. Hawaii aren't doing much better as they are currently getting invaded by big Hawaii (otherwise known as Fa'a'a) and the Chukchi are also sending a small number of carracks. However, unlike the Olmecs and Jerusalem, I would not qualify these as a significant force. Not even their vulnerable indonesian colony of Hilo appears to be in danger as Tahiti is ignoring it. On the other hand, I am noticing some very serious flaws with Hawaii’s military, namely that it is mostly horsemen and land-based melee units. Hello? You’re an island civ? You should maybe think about building, you  know, boats instead? This has been a big factor in why Hawaii has failed to capture Fa’a’a in the past, and why they will likely continue to fail this war. So the most likely outcome of this war is stalemate, although foolishly giving away a city to the Chukchi in a peace deal isn't out of the question.

Knot

Good job Neutrals! You finally did enough to not be the worst power in North America, and all it took was a very strange glitch giving you Musketman 2.5 era’s earlier than everyone else. Give yourself a pat on the back, you deserve it.

I don’t think this is really gonna matter long term, but no joke, I hope Neutral Nation just starts playing incredibly well from this point on and builds like a solid 10-12 city empire while Mississippi and Chinook just build these 30-50 civ empires. It’d be a solid path for them to take.

MsurdejThere once was a civ called the V.O.C.Who’s AI was a sore sight to seeTheir cities are fewTheir chances are tooAnd I think that you all can agree

Knot

We have so many rumps right now, and someone Zanzibar isn’t technically one of them. They should be. Lesotho is right next to them, and could eat their land any day now, but we are not so lucky. I would find Zanzibar more interesting if they joined Somalia in the rump club. Sigh. Maybe next part.

Random Strategy

Pretty bad news for Namibia this week. Not only has their main rival Lesotho greatly expanded to become one of the big powers of Africa, but now they're also under attack by Zaire (and maybe Nigeria?). Their cities are currently protected by the jungle and the awkward approach but Zaire can definitely grind Namibia down to dust if they continue. They should try to get peace before losing any cities. Though that would just be a temporary measure: with worse stats than Zanzibar and nowhere to expand, it's only a matter of time before Namibia dies.

Lacsirax

I’ve had one single investment in Tahiti these past few episodes. Others have enjoyed watching them play around in New Zealand (where they’ve settled another city, incidentally). Others have been disappointed by their relative lack of madness, as many predicted they’d have cities all across the Pacific by now. But I’ve only been interested in one thing. Will they lose Fa’a’a, their city located right on Hawaii’s doorstep?

Y’see I had 5 dollars on Hawaii successfully conquering the city by Episode 6. And now here we are, Episode 6, and I owe jmangelo a sweet little Abraham (is that what you call five dollar notes in the US? I don’t know). Curses to you Tahiti for a decently solid defence of a city you had no right keeping. Now I’m free of this burden perhaps I can watch you more objectively from here on out.

Rosé: If Laos's future was bleak a few parts ago, I don’t even want to think about where it is now. There are three civs that stand in the way of Laos, those being Bhutan, Taiping and Malacca. All three of these civs can cause some serious damage to the region without any harm to their respective cores (though Bhutan would likely be forced back into a life of turtling). The lack of a navy is really hurting Laos too, as it prevents the nation from securing easy pickings of nations like the VOC and the Chola exclaves. Sure Vietnam is an option, but that just pisses off an already mobilized Taiping and Malacca, who want the region for themselves.  The one thing going for the nation though is the terrain of “mountains and hills for days” which will keep the region safe until the modern era give or take.

Knot

Being not mentioned in the part at all, you would think that Manchu did nothing of note, but no no no. Manchu decided to citadel the Taiping island of Songjiang. It gives them absolutely no benefit and really just makes them mad. You Madlands! I can’t decide if I want you punished or rewarded for such hubris.

Lacsirax: Quiet one for the Permians. And I mean quiet. No active wars, no new cities founded. And with that means no progress. The longer Perm stays trapped in their little taiga between the two big dogs of Russia, the more dwindled their chances of relevance. Really, the only thing Perm contributed to this episode was a city of theirs being razed - not one they’d held for longer than a few turns, but PARG’s city of Berezniki currently being torched by Uzbekistan was originally founded by Stephen I. And that may well be the fate of Perm’s other cities in due course - pawns traded between the real players.

Knot

Hey Spain, did you hear that two major powers are going to war? That’s pretty cool. You remember when you were a part of the “Major Powers” of Europe? You know, when we actually cared about what you were doing, and you were a relevant player? Good times. Sucks to be you now though. We’ve moved on to bigger and grander things, and yet you’re still here. Perhaps you should retire Spain. I’m sure the Vandals or even the Gauls could help you out with that.

Vihreaa

Oh Sweden, it really is all falling apart isn’t it. After a significant loss to Germany, Sweden slips back to their lowest recorded rank of 40th place, handicapped down to just 6 cities. Once thought to be a potential powerhouse in Europe, those dreams were quickly crushed by the methodological domination of Kaiser Wilhelm II. Regardless of this, Sweden’s only chance of expansion at this point is through Finland, which would be a close fight regardless. Unfortunately Scandinavia is not enough to be considered a regional power, so Sweden will have to think of something if they want another shot in the limelight.

Random Strategy

This week Tongva settled 1 city and that's pretty much it. They're lucky Rio Grande is distracted by the Olmecs. Due to this war, they technically have slightly more army than Rio Grande, even though their production is terrible by comparison. Their best hope at achieving anything would be to tech boats and try invading Hawaii or Tahiti's Hawaiian colony of Fa'a'a, because they're not going to be winning in north america.

Rosé: So South America decided to give a collective middle finger to Gran Colombia of all civs this episode as now GC is facing a form of war (featuring Taiping which will do nothing). Fortunately for Bolivar however, he will likely leave this coalition unscathed, possibly gaining several cities, as most of his opponents are honestly, quite shit. Paraguay might've been a problem... if it weren't for the amazons,coasts, and ocean separating them. This leaves 3 civs that will honestly be non issues: Jamaica, Olmecs, and Peru Bolivia. Ignoring the fact that all three of these civs are bottom ten levels of quality, (yes I know Olmecs are technically 11th worse but they're still pretty bad), all three of these civs have some form of issue facing them. Olmecs have Rio Grande at their doorstep, Jamaica has left a war with Olmecs and may receive a beating from Mississippi or New Netherlands, and PB has a decent amount of space that needs to be cleared to even reach Gran Colombia, ignoring the chainsaw wielding madman that is Solano Lopez. Through this Coalition, I can clearly see a bright path for Gran Colombia where this war propels the nation into the stardom that it was meant for from the get go.

Lacsirax: It turns out building far flung exclaves halfway across the world, with no attempts to reinforce them, would eventually see them be conquered by local civs. Oh my god, who could have predicted this? The first of Georgia’s far flung cities drops, and sadly it’s the fan favourite city of Dvin - hopefully they got enough leg days in that they could jog back to the homeland before the city was burned to a crisp. Uzbekistan, the perpetrators of this war crime, are also knocking on the gates of Kars, which you may remember being the city they founded on the Chinese border with Kazakhstan, because Georgia really do be like that. Things aren’t rosy back at home either: once again Kosovo are blockading Mtskheta, and this time daddy Stalin isn’t there to step in. But at this point, you can’t judge Georgia by their military successes or their prospects of victory. You have to judge them on entertainment value, and hopefully they’ve still got oodles of that left in them.

Knot

This part, we finally saw what Japan was gonna do with their settler! Yes, they decided not to settle the few remaining spots on their original island that haven’t been settle by other civs yet, but instead to cast it far away into the sea, to find a vacation home where Tanaka can sip Pina coladas, enjoy the sun, and not muster anything to help protect their diminishing chances of winning this royale. Solid job dude.  I don’t actually think Japan is completely out of the running, but this is a shining example why no one has great hopes for them right now.

Knot

Kurdistan still exists, despite the footage still arguing otherwise.

Vihreaa

Iceland had a promising looking early game, with settling Britain and eastern Canada, but fell off not long after. With their British cities being citadelled by the Gauls, and their new world holdings being whittled away, Iceland needs to kick it into next gear. For starting in a rough spot, Iceland is already at a disadvantage, but the northeast of North America is certainly the weakest area on the continent, which could give Iceland a route into establishing a long term core on the continent.

Lacsirax: The last couple of episodes have been pretty terrible for Bhutan, but you’d be forgiven for not noticing. For the second episode in a row, they lost a city off-screen - last episode to Yuan, this time to Uzbekistan, a civ they barely even border who were simultaneously fighting Georgia and PARG. Really, the fact this all happened under our noses speaks dividends - Bhutan are such a non-threat that losing cities isn’t considered interesting enough to highlight. But as with their natural predecessors, Nepal and Tibet, not being a threat doesn’t mean not being a presence, and I fully expect to see Bhutan blight our maps for some time. Especially if they keep somehow holding off Punjab - seriously, if they can lose cities to Yuan, how are they not folding every time Punjab declares war? Those mountains are magic, I tell ya.

Rosé: Yuan had two mentions this part, one where they joined a forigen coalition, and one where they were gonna lose a city, (they didn't). However another opportunity may arise from the Taiping Malacca war. See, If Taiping gets stomped to a degree where they are forced on the defensive, Yuan might be able to swipe a couple of free cities, or at least raze some tiles. Unfortunately this is the literal extent to what Yuan can possibly do besides beat Manchu, the Civ is basically a giant gate preventing a Northern Yuan/Taiping takeover of the region.

Random Strategy

4 ranks is a big increase for a civ whose only accomplishment this part was somehow growing their capital to a whopping size 29: the largest city of the entire cylinder. Part of the increase was caused by Sweden dropping. After being behind Sweden the entire game up till now, Finland are finally the scandinavian civ in the lead. I would suggest attacking soon, while Sweden's army is still recovering from the devastating war against Germany. Maybe wait just a few turns for it to be out of position by the Teutons.

Vihreaa

Our good friends Hejaz have taken a liking in the Horn of Africa, seizing those lands from one of our resident disappointments, Somalia. Don’t mistake this for confidence, though. Unfortunately for them, Hejaz has like no techs, like at all. I mean they are literally last in tech, including the rumps. To be honest, they could probably get rolled by any of their neighbors with a decent carpet, because their military is just a tad be outdated, if you catch my drift. If they can fix this tech deficit, sure, they have a good amount of cities, but I think this deficit will prove detrimental.

Knot

Germany and the Gauls go to war, and Kosovo just hides the corner hoping not to be noticed. If there is going to be a way out of Kosovo’s predicament of being squished between some of the best civs on the cylinder, I think a stalemate war involving Germany is the first part of that. Obviously if Germany just demolishes the Gauls than Kosovo is even worse off than before, but I don’t think a strong Germany, and a Strong Kosovo can exist at the same time, and so if the Gauls manage to make a dent in Germany’s monstrous stats, we might see Kosovo rise to take advantage of the time gained. Now, whether giving the Gauls more power is a good thing for Kosovo either is a whole different question, but I’ll be watching Kosovo with keen interest… Well, when I’m not watching the war between the real superpowers anyway.

Vihreaa

The Dene didn’t really do that much this part, except stand by as TAT got physically disassembled. They’re a solid mid tier power in North America as of now, but they need to be looking for more areas to expand if they want to hold on to power in the increasingly competitive continent. At this point they really only border Mississippi and the Chinook, so they will need to be picking their future battles wisely. The 28th spot is by no means bad, but they still have to become more powerful if they want to secure their spot as a power in the end game.

MsurdejParaguay has something few civs have: a carpet. The army Lopez may not be the most advanced or the largest, but it covers most of the main Paraguay clay. The only problem is this carpet doesn’t extend to their northern exclave, which means it's less effective against the people Paraguay is trying to destroy. Paraguay could easily destroy Peru-Bolivia, and probably Gran Columbia if it could field it's whole army. But terrain and borders continue to prevent Lopez from climbing and conquering.

Random StrategyMarajoara declare war against Palmares and Marajoara's strategy is a good one. Realising that land wars through the amazon are difficult they have increased their land defence with a powerful defensive religion to make them near impregnable from land. But they have also used their high science to tech for navy, including their UU galleas replacement: the snake canoe, which deals bonus damage to land units and drains hp from adjacent units. With the defence sorted, this advanced navy will be their main method of attack. Their main target should be Palmares’ carribean colony of Aqualtene, which has barely any defenders, though they should also beware their ally New Netherland sniping it. However, once that city is taken, Marajoara should follow up with settlers to grab the currently uninhabited eastern Carribean. They've managed to science turtle it up on 5 cities so far, but 5 cities won’t be enough moving forwards.

Vihreaa

The Chola continue to spin their wheels, as they seem to be trapped under the boot of the ever present Punjab. As seen before with many civs that find their beginnings on the Indian subcontinent, the Chola seem to be unable or unwilling to break free of the unseen chains that bind them to their homeland. A 25th place spot is nothing to sneeze at, but with the 1st ranked civ as their northern neighbor, their pickings seem slim. Perhaps an invasion of Hejaz could prove to be to their benefit, with the lack of technological innovation on the Arabian peninsula. More than likely though they will either live for the rest of their existence as a subdivision of Punjab.

Altima

Good news for Quilombo: they still have some Argentine turf. They even peaced out with the Mapuche! Bad news: they’re still stuck in an indecisive stalemate with the Marajoara, and a potential loss at the hands of the New Netherlandic navy, who could take some of their Caribbean holdings. Personally, I don’t see either war going anywhere, such is South America!, but it still leaves them looking unimpressive against the giants elsewhere. Thus, four-rank loss.

Random Strategy:Rio Grande launches an attack on the pitiful Olmecs, with the help of their dutch allies. Although Rio Grande certainly has the production and army to conquer the Olmecs, the terrain is making the advance difficult. The hills surrounding Coatzacoalcos are preventing the horsemen from getting close, and it doesn't help that half the Rio Grande army is in the sea and getting shot to pieces by the Olmec composite bowmen; unlike their dutch allies, Rio Grande has not invested in any boats. Small potential conquests aside, Rio Grande has also overtaken their main threat, the Mississippi in production, although they still remain behind in every other respect. So that's a hopeful sign for the future. Their third neighbour, the Tongva, continue to exist but are not very scary.

Vihreaa

The New Netherlands are something of a darling of the Power Rankers right now, and who can blame us? They’ve seen a prominent rise in the rankings, coming to 22nd from 50th place. Now one of the stronger civs on the North American continent, the New Netherlands could go far, especially with a seemingly decent settle bias, as we can see from their Caribbean claims. They have solid prospects at claiming the eastern third of the continent, and from there they will likely have to face Mississippi. Know that you at least have some staunch supporters from the sub!

Msurdej:Ferdinand I holds the same place this week, as does his empire. Gjakove was able to be retaken, and with the power of their navy, nothing else was lost to the German war machine by the time the two civs made peace. Now at peace, Two Sicilies has a chance to bulk up for their next move. But with the coastal civs of the Mediterranean looking stronger and stronger, Ferdinand is going to have to step up his A game.

Vihreaa

The Mapuche rose 4 ranks this week, and are still the top dog in South America. This is by no means set in stone, though. They may have managed to expel 2 Palmares cities from their territory, but with a heavily carpeted Paraguay to their northeast and a severe tech deficit, the Mapuche are on a knife’s edge. They may control the most land on the continent, but that means they also have the most to lose.

Random Strategy

Burkina Faso finally captured the Tuareg capital, in a war that took a lot longer than expected but was successful nevertheless. Now where? Their northern neighbour, the Vandals have the largest army of the entire cylinder - best not try anything against them. Their western neighbour, Nigeria, are science turtling it up, with high tech and a bigger army than BurkinaFaso - they will also be a problem. I guess there's always the 2 remaining pieces of the Tuareg but they're nor worth much, and technically the Ptolemies border them - although that's not a good expansion direction and besides the Ptolomies are also overall stronger than them. So really to get anywhere Burkina Faso needs a coalition war. I guess the best one would be with Zaire and the Ptolemies against Nigeria?

Random Strategy

Lesotho continue to consolidate their stats. They have more cities than any other African civ but their cities are still smaller and weaker. Due to a much slower start than other African civs, Lesotho is still a fair bit behind in science. They do have the advantage of 2 weak neighbours in Namibia and Zanzibar. However, Zaire is currently trying to eat Namibia, so if they want that they should strike before Zaire takes too much. Meanwhile Zanzibar holds the naval tech advantage over them, and although they could certainly overcome it with raw production, it would be best to wait until compass before trying anything to avoid unnecessary losses - and it's not as though Zanzibar is going to get stronger. As for the big threat: Zaire, the hope is that they can catch them in a 2 front war with one of the other strong african civs.

Vihreaa

Nigeria is quickly evolving into what could become the next Mk2 Korea, with a high affinity for all things technological. As I’ve said before, Africa is shaping up to be one of the most well rounded continents, having several civs that could emerge on top in the end, with Nigeria being one of them. With their already strong tech, they could either make use of it now to expand or continue to hunker down, but either way I think they certainly have a strong chance of taking control in the continent.

MsurdejAlright Comcomly, you have a mission. The Gauls are preoccupied with Germany, Taiping and Burkina Faso peaced out with their rumps, and Peru Bolivia are protected by the terrain. But the TAT? All but undefended, in an empty field. Your army is over the mountains, and has the advantage of diplomacy on your side. This is the moment the Chinook can rocket themselves into notoriety: Getting the first elimination.

Knot

What the heck happened to Northern Yuan? I apparently just  missed when they went from big and scary to big and…. nothing. They really have nothing else. Like they were not even mentioned this part at all. Even Jamaica had more screen time than North Yuan, and I can confirm they didn’t spend that time bulking up. They probably spent that time binge watching British Bake Off based on their incredibly mediocre unchanged stats.

I’m not exactly surprised that Northern Yuan isn’t keeping up with Taiping and PARG, and I guess I should be clear, they’re still pretty good. They’re still firmly in the top twenty civs if only because of their massive size. However, I guess I thought the gap between Northern Yuan and their neighbors wasn’t as big as it actually was. Northern Yuan has never been the top dog in Asia, but they are no longer just  a little bit behind. I mean, Taiping is currently engaged in a war with another top ten power, and they have decent odds to win. Northern Yuan has nothing. They need to kick their butt into high gear and do something before their neighbors overshadow them completely.

Random Strategy

So begins what could possibly be the defining war of europe. The Gauls face down Germany. Now the Gauls are certainly not unprepared. They have their entire army ready on the front line and are even bringing all their troops back from Britain to help. However, Germany has the production advantage, and a big one at 405 to 242. What's worse is that the Gauls can't really bring in any allies due to Germany's *perfectly balanced* UA which gives them +15% production for every civ they are at war with (yes: even a rump the other side of the world), which means bringing in allies would just make Germany stronger... As for tech, the Gauls' oathsworn powerspike is over so they are instead looking to replace them with knights, which they are currently researching. Germany has instead opted for trebuchets, which do lose to knights but that's assuming the Gauls can muster enough of them to matter. But one aspect where the Gauls are weak is navy, whereas Germany has many trireme producing cities and have recently opened up the passageway out of the baltic to the north sea (thanks Sweden: you're useless). So what I predict is that the land war kind of stalemates, while the German navy dominates and captures a bunch of coastal Gaulish cities.

Lacsirax: For the last few episodes, with Islam Karimov playing pretty quietly, we’ve mused on how strong Uzbekistan would be if they had anyone except PARG and Punjab as their two neighbours. And depending on your perspective, this episode either confirmed or rejected that outlook. It’s true that Uzbekistan’s war with PARG has been a bit of give and take, but in truth Karimov has looked the less battered, losing the border city of Qarshi but responding by razing nearby Glazov and even capturing the somewhat more distant Berezniki. All in all, it’s been a plucky fight from the underdogs - but as long as they have considerably less cities than PARG, and continue to only make the odd little conquest, then they’ll still always be the underdogs. That said, if you want a more concrete view of Uzbekistan’s objective power, look no further than their rapid evisceration of everyone’s favourite former city, Dvin. Against a minor state like Georgia, Uzbekistan can wreak havoc like the best of them.

Vihreaa

Huzzah! Finally we see an African civ in the Kongo basin not being overshadowed by the one to their direct south! Zair has claimed the 12th spot this week, which isn’t their peak of 3rd in the part 0 rankings, but that goes to show how competitive Africa is. They filled out their core nicely this part, settling cities and claiming land, and have put in the work settling cities where other civs won’t. We’ll see if this works out in the end, as they are bordering 5 different other civs, being placed right in the middle of Africa. With a proper battle plan, Zaire stands a good chance to emerge victorious in the continent.

Random StrategyThe previous number 1 in science has dropped to only 3rd - Taiping and Malacca have overtaken them. The Chukchi spent this part building 2 wonders: the Grand Canal (which is gold therefore useless) and the Itsukushima Shrine, which buffs units from the city including making all land units amphibious. As an island civ, amphibious troops are particularly good for launching invasions so this wonder suits them well. They are also researching astronomy which will allow them to circumvent the annoying alaskan chokepoint that prevented them from attacking the Chinook. However, the best avenue for expansion is to go down Asia: the sequence of Japan -> Manchu -> Yuan should be pretty easy as all those civs are pretty weak.

Rosé: The Ptolemies spent this entire part trying their damndest to take Jerusalem, and ended the part just short of the mark. Keeping Jerusalem however, is its own demon. that will prove more difficult. This holds especially true considering that the navies during this part of the game are generally underpowered for the cities they are trying to take, not to mention that the sea tiles that the Ptolemies can access is incredibly limited thanks to the Mediterranean being split among so many powers. However a peace deal occuring after Ptolemies takes Jerusalem (and maybe Tripoli) would essentially make it a guaranteed top ten powerhouse, with control over a weak middle east, with access to Kurdistan and a better front against Hejaz. Worst case scenario they can just attack Somalia or something.

Vihreaa

Malacca rises 3 ranks to 9th this week, following their still successful war against Taiping, which could prove to net them most control over the Philippines and East China Sea. Malacca has been a civ that I’ve been skeptical about, as they don’t control much contiguous land, but have consistently ranked pretty high. I believe that if they can lock down a solid portion of Oceania, then they could have a solid chance to build a Southeast Asian empire. Being situated closer to mainland Asia, I certainly believe they are more likely than the Kulin to establish long term holdings on the Asian continent.

Altima

Lenin, buddy, we need to talk. You have great stats! Weak neighbors (and Germany)! I get that the Dorito is strictly the sexiest potato chip, but you need to stop being a couch potato yourself and start doing things! Maybe eat some of that Georgian clay, or actually declare against Parm. World’s your oyster, bud, you just have to get into the damn boat before someone else fishes it up.

Vihreaa

This is certainly not PARGchamp. Our favorite All-Russia has dropped to 7th place (which may or may not be because of my ranking of them) for the first time, but their army composition of like, only catapults, does little to inspire confidence in their competitiveness. They have sat on a solid stats lead for a few parts now, but that’s starting to wear away as other civs catch up. If they don’t want to become the next Yakutia, then they will need to start winning some wars soon.

Rosé: It is no secret that I have had little to no faith in the Vandals, mainly based on how poor their track record was. I honestly thought that for the past few parts, I thought that Burkina Faso, Spain, Two Sicilies, Ptolemies, ANYONE would stop this civ, and everytime I was proven wrong. So what happened differently here that was so different to the other games? Well for one, the Vandals' actually covered their surroundings quickly, cutting off Taureg, preventing Two Sicilies and Spain from settling the coastline. Secondly they are actually picking their battles properly. Despite their absolutely massive military, the Vandal's production is quite weak, so they have to pick their battles right, and boy have they picked their battles. Unlike other iterations of the Vandals that are quick to the trigger ready to die in a bloody war, these Vandals picked off a Spain busy with Wales, and now arguably, have larger control over Iberia than Spain proper. However, The Vandal's suffer from some neighbors that can actually take a hit, like the Ptolemies and Two Sicilies, but if they continue to divide and conquer as they have been doing, most likely by venturing south through Tuareg and Burkina Faso, then they could easily become a stacked power in a stacked continent. Or they could just lunder with a queens lead who knows.

LonelyRS

They say that when faced with an awful truth, the worst thing you can do is try to hide it. So, in the interest of transparency, I find myself left with no choice but to put this out there, terrible and unlikely though it may seem. Ready? Here goes:

I think Tuskaloosa might be depressed.

And, yes, I know he’s just an AI responding to a line of biases in a simulated deathmatch on a computer, but, I mean, what other explanation for his behavior is there? The war against Four Bears, that we could easily make sense of, understand from the point of view of a powerful neighbor trying to gobble up the lands of the weak. But then, why burn all that newly-acquired land to the ground just as soon as he took it? Why go to all the trouble of hunting down scattered, long-forgotten cities just to put them to the torch? Pure hatred, one might surmise, but, if that were the case, why not go all the way? Why stop just before consigning Four Bears to oblivion, taking his final few cities in a peace deal only to sentence them to the routine torch?

This baffling behavior can only be indicative of one thing: depression. In agony, Tuskaloosa lashed out at his nearest neighbor in an attempt to recapture the magic he felt when conquering through Rio Grande just a few parts ago, only to burn each city as he took it, none giving him any of the joy he sought. And when he had Four Bears on the ropes, he realized, at last, that the conquering way no longer appealed to him. Even the game mechanics back this up, unhappy people perpetually frowning under what can only be an unhappy ruler. We can only hope that Tuskaloosa recaptures the light that once shone in his eyes, and that an easygoing smile comes to his face once again as he sets fire to a forgotten outpost left behind by some aging North American empire. In the meantime, though, he can at least content himself with being top dog in the continent.

Msurdej

By some divine prank, the Kulin are in 4th place. Sure they have the stats to back it up, and have gained control of the Australian subcontinent faster than anyone in the CBRX. But there’s the rub: it’s the Australian subcontinent. Barak has just gotten a city off the subcontinent, and he’s still far away from the mainland. We’ve seen more powerful Aussie civs fail to make a serious landfall, and without it, they remain a naval roadblock for the eventual winner. Barak will have his work cut out for him if he wants to make landfall, but if any Aussie civ could do it, it’s the Kulin.

LonelyRS

On the one hand, as far as tigers go, the Taiping look positively insubstantial. Beautiful statistics, cylinder-leading science, an entirely acceptable military force… and they struggled to vanquish a single city-state and are hemorrhaging land to Malacca? Were there any justice in the world, Taiping’s seeming inability to back theory with practice would send them far out of the top five. And yet - are there any other civs who deserve third place more? Kulin is an ocean away from any of their neighbors. The Mississippi are arsonists. The Vandals are stuck in the middle of the world’s most chaotic region. PARG’s humiliation is somehow even worse. Taiping might not be ready to go from looming threat to present one at the moment, but they’re a looming threat nonetheless, with science numbers obscene enough to where a position as one of the cylinder’s tech leaders seems a near certainty. And having an advantage like that, coupled with an empire as large as theirs, is well worth a top 3 slot in a field this muddled, even with Malacca gnawing on their empire like a dog with a bone.

Knot

If you wanted to pick a moment that the entire game could hinge on that happened in this part, it would be the Gallic/German war (I love that i get to type sentences like that.) It could very well be the moment that Germany becomes the undisputed number one power on the cylinder. They definitely have the advantage going into it, and the Gauls have a lot of tasty land to lose if Germany gets the upper hand. I certainly wouldn’t blame anyone for having Germany as top civ.

However, I wouldn’t be so quick to count out the Gauls. Let’s not forget they are still a top ten power, and if they manage to hold the line against Germany, then Germany starts to look a bit hemmed in. It’s certainly possible that Germany just wastes a bunch of time and resources here, or even loses some cities on the outskirts of their empire. Only time will tell if we’ll have a new top seed, or if we’ll have a stalemated and bitter Europe for parts to come.

Altima

As insignificant as the Punjab-PARG war should be, somehow, Punjab still jacked a city from the PARG, expertly maneuvering a squad through open borders to yoink Ashgabat from no-where. Future parts will have to tell if they can hold this, but regardless, taking direct action to assail a fellow top-10 civ is a really good look for any civ, and so they hold the #1 position again this part.