Power Rankings: Episode 10 – S3

Cloudy:

Newsflash: Qocho didn’t die! Their peace treaty with Tuva means they’re no longer at war with any immediate neighbors, but that wasn’t enough for us to move them out of last place, because they’re still soooo fucked lmao

Leman:

Seminole was so close to rising above Philippines as the latter nosedived, but alas, that didn’t happen.

Rosay:

The Philippines are screwed, but how screwed are they? This is the question that plagues the power rankers and we are actually pretty split on this. One side is arguing that the Philippines are going to likely be eliminated next part or that they’re the most vulnerable to elimination. On the other hand, the other half of the power rankers are taking a more moderate approach of saying the Philippines will not die due to ai not knowing naval warfare or just a last of trust in Kokang. As for me, while I do think Kokang’s AI is competent enough, naval AI early game is god awful and they might honestly just have too hard of a time landing. Of course if Timor Leste gets involved it’s probably curtains but that’s still an if.

Cloudy:

Yep, can confirm Cambodia is still here. Nice.

Rosay:

I honestly continuously forget this civ exists every time I do my rankings, so that should tell you how much I care about these guys. They do technically have one of the highest production per city scores going for them in their singular city so that's kinda cool I guess.

Cloudy:

The bruising war against the Permians has finally ended, leaving what’s left of Khazaria to sit back and lick its wounds. Now it’s only a matter of time before someone finishes them off—the only real question is who.

Msurdej:  

The Anglo-Norse got one mention this part, where we, if you squint in the top left corner of one slide, you can jussssssst make out an Anglo-Norse settler being city blocked by Vladimir. That’s how relevant they are.

Msurdej:  

Greenland has declared war on Vermont, but surprisingly, Ethan Allen is holding his own. The first wave of Greenland troops has failed to take Windsor, and Holsteinsborg is now under attack by Vermont. In Burlington, Mayor Bernie Sanders has recruited Tang Taizong to help defend the city in case of an attack. Will it be enough to get Vermont out of the bottom 10? Probably not!

Shaggy:

You have to give a rump credit for still trying their luck with throwing out new settlers. Ignoring, of course, the 3 other enemy settlers that could take any potential land left for Egypt. It’s do or die in their battle against irrelevancy, and they’re already down a few on irrelevancy.

Reformer:

Breaking news! Kayapo are researching Education. Brazil sits in the corner awaiting execution. More at 11.

Msurdej:  

Mori did two important things this episode. First they made a third city. Second, they went back to war with North Korea. While their former city of Tajihi-Sarugake is damaged, it seems likely it will remain in North Korean hands. Sorry Mori

Cloudy:

If there’s a bright spot for Uganda, it’s that they’re flipping Mbarara back and forth with Kilwa, and maybe if they time the peace treaty correctly they could keep it. But that’s really all they’ve got. There’s no room left for them to settle any more cities, and their only option now is to fortify their mountain core and hope nobody ever researches artillery.

Shaggy:

Yolngu are getting shown up by Timor-Leste being the better naval rival and Maori settling in interesting places on the Australian continent. Ho hum.

Reformer:

Well, the defense of Unified Korea has been a success…for now. Ainu, Göktürks, Mori, Ming, none have been able to breach her walls. Still, these trials and tribulations are not over. A line of Ainu units cover the northern borders, Mori units funnel onto the peninsula one by one, and the Ming navy had managed to take Chongjin to half health by turn 136 when we last saw the peninsula. Now, as long as Kim realizes that the stooges to his north and east are mere distractions, he has a good chance to keep his dear peninsula united. But it will be easy to slip up with all this pressure. But hey…under pressure is where diamonds are formed!

Altima

Consider the pictured settler. They are a metaphor. They are also a literal settler, but they are a metaphor as well. They did not move at all this part. Their homeland suffers for a lack of settled cities, and yet here they stand, doing nothing, settling nothing, while around them their neighbors continue to bulk up. They cannot settle on the mainland as is, but even an island would at least give Botswana the hope of an insurance policy when death comes for their core. Still, the settler stands still as the world moves around him.

Cloudy:

The Ainu are still here. Their attack on North Korea failed, but we didn’t really expect much, did we? And in other exciting Ainu news... oh wait, that’s the end of my script. Cut?

Cloudy:

Tetouan reaches, for the second time, its all-time high of 43rd place,probably because they’re consolidating their recapture of Fes without facing any new war declarations. Tetouan are weak, to be sure, but at least they aren’t in imminent danger—and their biggest threats, the Normans, are starting to slip.

Leman:

Kyivan Rus’ has quickly become one of those three city nerds that's not quite bad enough for me to have a lot to talk about, but nowhere near good enough for me to want to analyze it in any way? Honestly, I feel like the most interesting thing about Kyiv now is who’s gonna take them over? Lithuania probably, given how much of a beast Lithuania is, but Vladimir would be fun too. Maybe even Turkey? We’ll see!

Leman:

Central America has surprisingly good science for a civ that is otherwise completely useless. They continue their slow slide down the rankings as three cities looks sillier and sillier.

Shaggy:

As the armies in and around Amsterdam and Skopje stare each other down across the river between them, William still clings to relevancy and intact borders. Despite their enemies’ best efforts, there haven’t been any major losses on the part of the Anglo-Dutch while they fight for their slice of Europe. Not that they have much chance of going beyond their existing borders, nor do they seem to have the inclination. The settling of Oviedo by Castile has boxed out the last remaining part of France for the Anglo-Dutch to settle. Better hope these 4 cities are enough to snipe a couple away from some neighbors because there don’t seem to be any remaining easy ways to get another.

Altima

Hans has done what he should have done a while ago and declared war upon Vermont to try and take the Icelandic clay he should have settled eons ago. Anyway, between some statistical noise and them just kinda butchering it thus far, he slips four ranks despite doing The Correct Thing. So it goes.

Altima

Where were these settlers several parts ago, Rio? Were you just too busy flailing ineffectually against Brazil to realize that everyone else was claiming territory until now? Well guess what, all that gets you is bad one-tile island cities whose biggest value is moderately trolling Chile by blocking off navigation. Congratulations.

Orange:

CASTILE HAS DONE THE IMPOSSIBLE, THEY ARE NOW ON THE MAP! This is the biggest thing that has happened to them this game, Vihreaa has finally brought them back from the void. Oh and they settled in Brittany I guess.

Cloudy:

Nothing new to report from Pandya... they’re still trapped in Southern India, their neighbors are still Bengal and Afghanistan, and they’re still long-term fucked, even if they’re unlikely to go out particularly soon.

Leman:

Well, this is it! This is Massagetae’s chance to really turn this game around! After grabbing Asir from Yemen, Massagetae declares war on the former number one, Permians. Permians’ army is fully depleted, and they are currently dealing with last part’s (and maybe this part’s, no spoilers) number one, Tuva. This was the best time for Tomyrus to seek revenge and hopefully retake Oxus and maybe one or two more cities. Izhikar is already flipping!

However.

Massagetae might just not have the muscle to do what needs to be done. Permians’ army is small and overstretched, but, somehow, it's still larger than Massagetae’s. In fact, Permians’ eclipse Massagetae in every relevant stat, production, population, army size, and techs. Tomyrus is going to need to make this short and sweet, snipe Izikir, snipe, Oxus, and sue for peace. before Permians peace out with Tuva (or even worse, Afghanistan declares war. Like Permians, Massagetae seem to be the target of a coalition). If Permians get to fight Massagetae 1v1 right now, they would absolutely annihilate. However, right now, it’s not a 1v1 so absolutely doable. Tomyrus is absolutely balancing on a knife’s edge. This could go very right, or very wrong.

Cloudy:

Yemen drops only one rank after losing their Caspian sea exclave to the Massagetae, which is probably because we never really thought they’d keep that city in the long run anyway. It’s a blow, to be sure, but in other stats Yemen is still doing alright, especially science, so we think they’ll stick around for a long time yet.

Leman:

Zulu slips four spots but really, things are about the same as they were last time. Personally, I dropped five or so Zulu because I noticed their stats kinda suck? Like their military, city count, population, effective science, and production are all like, half of the top tiers. At least there’s a few more settling spots and a shot at redemption for Zulu.

Cloudy:

Indonesia’s attack on the Philippines is a good idea, but the signs suggest Kokang will get to the spoils first, so we don’t have a reason to raise Indonesia’s rank just yet. They did settle Borneo though, which is at least a step in the right direction.

Ming

Like every other Asian power with the coasts to try it, Ming has sent a fleet of triremes to die on the shores of Chongjin in a vain effort to break out of their box. They’d probably find better luck with their island settling or building up the Guangzhou colony, but hey, can’t blame them for trying I suppose.

Shaggy:

Ireland is the quintessential rank 30 civ. Nobody is going to come kill them anytime soon, but they are proving time and time again that they can’t really go anywhere other than the British Isles. They’ll need to get better at fighting naval wars good if they want to take anything off of Brandenburg.

Msurdej:  

Crawling into the top half of civs for the first time since Part 0, it’s Validimir! Ol’ Vsevolod is getting this bump due to having one of their main rivals, the Permains, get curb stomped by the Tuva. This can make a window of opportunity for Vsevolod to take some clay off the western permian cities. It’s a stretch, and risky, but if Vladimir wants to stay in the game, he’s gotta take risks.

Orange:

Muisca continues to sit pretty while not doing much else. Inca is growing stronger in the south but Nemequene still has some places left to go. Namely, the Muisca need to attack Central America, America, or Kayapo (before they get too strong). If they fail to do that, they are just going to be stuck. This stagnant behavior isn’t good for them, so Muisca fans should be glad other civs are still doing worse otherwise our Colombian comrades would be much lower.

Rosay:

A couple parts ago Mali becoming an African powerhouse seemed likely albeit going at a slug's pace. Now they sit in 4th place out of probably the 2nd weakest continent in the game (first is Oceania) and are being threatened by Angola, Chad, debatably the Normans, and somehow Yugoslavia. The ONLY reason that Mali manages to consistently break the top 30 is because they were gifted a massive amount of expansion room at the start where it was impossible to not have a decent start up, but after that there has been NOTHING, not even a failed attack on Tetouan. Sometimes I think I'm too harsh on certain civs for appearing “lazy” but there's really no excuse here, Mali just blew it hard and I hope that somehow their one war with Brandenburg results in the backdoor naval invasion of the century, because at least Mali will have provided something to consider entertainment.

Shaggy:

Kilwa decided to expand their fitness regimen and took a class on flipping this week. Mbarara ended the part in Ugandan hands, but there is enough Kilwa military to continue the flips. They drop a rank in the shuffle but are maintaining well.

Orange:

Maori gain another rank as they slowly grow. The bankruptcy earlier had really hurt them but with more cities to go, time to grow, no threats, and some very weak Australian civs, it seems this Mk might just finally be the Maori time to shine. Hopefully they can keep it up and be the ones to unite the big island.

Emu

Wiradjuri humiliates themselves once again by declaring a war on the far smaller Yolngu and completely failing to get anywhere. Add that to increasing Maori presence on the continent, and the former masters of Australia look more and more like their title is being pulled out from under them. Let me rephrase that: they're throwing away that title just as fast as they physically can. This is 100% their fault. It takes a special kind of incompetence to bungle an Eastern Australia start when your western neighbors refuse to build even a single settler. Jesus, Windradyne, either get it together or leave the continent to someone who will.

Cloudy:

There continues to be very little to report from the quiet northwestern corner of North America, so unless something happens, expect the Kwaks to just keep floating around this part of the rankings. The only real news is probably the Gokturks settling on an island in the Bering Strait—so will Willie Seaweed assert dominance and punish this transgression? In all honesty—probably not.

Reformer: Alright, well, let’s make something clear here, it was NOT a quiet part for the Normans, despite what was a rather small amount of appearances therein. The war with Turkey continued to rage, while the war with Mali on the Normans’ other flank finally ended. Memphis ended the part in Turkey’s hands, but psh, it’s not that great of a city, it was basically just a participation trophy. Stats-wise they’re still pretty potent at 16th on the sheet, and that’s with a low military score dragging them down, so you know Guiscard is managing his economy just fine. But long-term prospects look a bit rough. Tetouan is the only viable target, still, and galleasses are still a ways away…I’m starting to feel a bit pessimistic, but there is time.

Leman:

Ok, Xanana, you know what to do. Declare war on Philippines and snipe both those cities. Get that elimination. I believe in you. Your stats are really good, but you’re starting to really lag in city count. You have the perfect opportunity to rectify that. Don’t let Indonesia or Kokang grab those cities, they’re not cool, they don’t deserve it.

Orange:

America is back into another dark age, their second one. I don’t know what the heck FDR is doing, but it clearly isn’t winning. America has some very nice stats, and yet they still feel like they are just bad. And the game agrees with me on their bad vibes given that it keeps sending them into dark ages. Dark ages make their cities grow slower, combined with their unhappiness basically means they aren’t going to be getting more pop anytime soon, quite the boon for an empire that really needs to keep on growing. At least for now the Appalachians still block Arapaho from busting down their doors too quickly.

Leman:

Kayapo continues to slide up the rankings as their production and military continues to climb. Kayapo is now top tier in production per city while still retaining their insane culture, population and science lead. They’re beelining Education as well, the tech that unlocks Universities, so expect that massive science lead to grow even further, and their rank to rise even higher.

Emu

The mighty bear takes an attack to their core by the current #1, kicking off the second major power drop of this game. It's a little early to start writing a eulogy, but it seems like the Permians just overextended themselves and are paying for it hard. They're not out of the running just yet, but they're fully at Tuva's mercy right now. They've even lost the city count crown to Arapaho. Barring a slick peace deal, Azykay looks destined to live out the rest of his days as a regional power, recounting the good old days and hoping ol' Donny doesn't come back to finish what he started. The king is dead, long live the king.

Cloudy:

Yugoslavia didn’t do anything noteworthy this episode, so there’s not really anything new to report here. However, I do think their power relative to the Normans is growing, and that could present future opportunities to break out of the box they’ve found themselves in, so stay tuned.

Emu

Quiet week for Chile, they've more or less run out of land for their little settling spree. They're a very normal piece of a very strange South America, being the undisputed masters of the south and not much else. They're the real dark horse of the region, what with everyone's focus being up north on the Kayapo-Inca-Muisca triangle. They have good stats, an absolutely massive army, and a great position. So, why are they overlooked? The answer is plain and simple: inactivity. They just haven't declared a single relevant war yet. But if they were to find themselves in one anyway, it'd be highly beneficial to them. So, is Allende going to snooze his way to defeat, or will the world learn to fear the anger of a patient man? Only Lacs knows.

Leman:

Chad and Angola seem to be the favorites in Africa right now, but don’t really compare well with the top dogs from the other continents. Their stats just don’t line up with other continental leaders like Brandenburg or Inca. That being said, Chad had a strong, if not standout part. They peaced out with Uganda and settled an eighth city. Room the neighborhood for more seems to be running out but there are a half dozen Angolan, Egyptian, and Yugoslav cities in the area Chad can easily snap up.

Shaggy:

Angola maintains its spot as one of the best hopes coming out of Africa. Their scattershot approach to settling the Sahara seems to be paying dividends as those cities make Mali’s work of expanding peacefully that much more difficult. With a strong core and a plethora of target options to take advantage of should they feel the need to flex their muscle, Angola is chugging along.

Emu

Bengal is in a weird position. They're right between Afghanistan, who is moderately stronger than them, and Kokang, who is comparable. Being in the middle of a hard KOK and a graveyard of empires, their only real conquest opportunity is down in Pandya. This isn't nothing, and they can certainly pull it off at their current level of power, but it doesn't really inspire much confidence in their making it beyond the subcontinent. Anywhere else, these guys would be top 10, easy. It's just hard to justify when they need to defeat someone else just as strong to make anything of their current advantages.

Shaggy:

Avi Mota is spitting in the face of cartographers across the cylinder, and I am here for it! The first civ that can truly call itself a globetrotter (Comanche settler =/= Comanche city), Mohave is growing on me as one of the wildcard contenders. If they can consolidate their borders at home and remain untouched by Arapaho trying to stall them out, they’ll have the makings of a top 10 civ soon enough.

Leman:

Honestly, Han is chilling right now. They settled two more cities, bringing their total up to 11, and managed to significantly improve several of their stats, especially their population and effective science. They could use a little bit more army and production, but I can’t deny that they’re looking pretty decent.

Orange:

Kokang adds some more spice to the sleepy southeast of Asia as they attack the Philippines and look to profit big off of it. Honestly they are looking really good at the moment, their biggest neighbors are Han and Bengal, neither of which can attack them, and all the rest are fairly weak. Yang has a nice game ahead of her at this rate.

Leman:

In CBR, Gokturks are that really dumb, really strong guy TV trope. Like Kronk from the Emperor’s New Groove. They have the largest military on the cylinder, by a pretty decent margin and have a solid production, while also being absolutely bottom tier in techs. Gokturks don’t even have Writing yet (the first, basic, science tech that unlocks libraries) and seem wholly uninterested in getting it. Right now, they’re working on Metal Casting, the tech that unlocks workshops, to further bolster their already good production. Personally, I’m not the biggest fan of this strategy long term but it’s working out right now.

Also, if Bumin Qaghan is Kronk, then Raomi of Kayapo is probably Yzma.

Shaggy:

The Inca continue to send settlers into the Pacific which should prove fruitful in the midgame once they need easy launching points to raid up and down the coast. They still have the stats of a top-tier civ as they bide their time until the terrain of South America is more navigable.

Orange:

Ataturk yoinks Memphis from the Normans after their ill-advised war declaration while also making peace with the raiding Vladimir in the north. Turkey’s got good science and a lot of cities so they can afford to sit for a sec and build up a bit more. They are also pretty well protected from their strong neighbors, so little to worry about. Gotta say, probably one of the strongest Middle East’s we have seen in the royale, and likely to go further still.

Altima

The Cree rise a bit as the Arapaho come down from the murder-high and settle into consolidation for the part. While the Cree remain the clear #2 power in North America, they do have some future problems to worry about- namely, the fact that Arapaho has twice the city count as them and a corresponding lead in production. Now, this is not unsalvageable- the Cree still have more room to settle, and have a notable tech and effective science lead (and the second highest Eff. Science in the cylinder!), so if they can press that technical advantage and claim some of the remaining space, they should still be in perfectly viable shape to fight the Arapaho later.

Msurdej:  

With Ireland pushed back for now, Brandenburg can now focus on a new project: SCIENCE! Frederick has been lagging behind in the tech tree, sitting at 19, whereas other toip civs are mostly in the lower 20s (and Kayapo is at 24). But with the creation of the Shwedagon Paya, Brandenburg now has the 3rd most effective science (behind Cree and Kayapo) so getting back in the tech game should be easier for them . Especially as their Scandinavian holdings become more populated.

Shaggy:

Arapaho have bulked themselves up to a top 5 civ in terms of land, but their war with the Comanche has thinned out their carpet to an extent. There isn’t much anybody can do about it other than the Cree, but Pretty Nose has the production and the inclination (it seems) to remedy the military concerns in quick fashion. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Arapaho start eyeing American land once they are back to full strength.

Rosay:

Afghanistan jumps to third place this part, and it’s well deserved too. Fundamentals are good as always, good options for city captures, nice stats, consistent AI etc., but there is one unique thing that makes them a possible game winning contender: the Permian war. Right now, the Permians are at war with Tuva and Massagetae, and Afghanistan shares a border with both. While Ockham’s razor dictates that the duo will curbstomp tuva and Afghanistan can take a border city or two, Massagetae could end up serving its troops to a meat grinder and give Afghanistan their next easy target. Honestly I really did not have all that much faith in Afghanistan, not really due to bad ai or anything just that the their terrain makes it hard to break out, though Afghanistan has successfully transversed its mountains and is now actually actively threatening other top tier powers like Turkey, and they play their cards right(tm) might be able to cause problems to its other super scary neighbor.

Altima

Lithuania rises above Brandenburg in the average esteem of the Rankers, as their better tech tree and scientific progression combined with a debatably better geographical position puts them shinier than the drab browns of the Germans. We’ll see how well they hold it, as they are closer to the rising powers of Asia while not really having the small fries that surround Brandenburg, but for now the stars look bright for the boys in blue (and red).

Msurdej:  

By unanimous decision, the Tuva is the top spot for Episode 10. With a war against the Permians, Donduk has made his rivals cower and plummet before him. Sure, he didn't take Qocho out, but with the diplomatic problems that could have caused, maybe that’s better. Is it possible for him to fail still? Yes, but he’s in a hell of a good position in all stats and can still keep on rising for a long time.