Power Rankings: Episode 26 – S3

Cloudy;

Oh dear, oh deary me. Something terrible has happened. A few episodes ago we thought the Zulus were still sitting pretty, but now Timor-Leste has robbed them of all their cities except the capital, and Botswana is coming for that now, too. What a humiliation it will be, eliminated by Botswana. But we know it’s inevitable—Cetshwayo has nothing left with which to resist. Game over.

Altima

You know, this went better than it could have. Oh, Rio’s absolutely boned, but the Kayapo could absolutely have taken out Tucuman this part. Instead, Tucuman gets to live until the next part, wherein the Chilean military will take it instead, and might grab the remaining Rio islands. It’s not a big step up, but hey, you know the old parable about the old man who taught a horse to talk; maybe Chile will fuck up on the rough terrain and fail to take Tucuman again, and either way, Rio lives another day. They may die tomorrow, but unlike the Zulu, there’s actually a chance they survive.

JDT:

The Tetouan go up by 2 because the Norman’s can’t actually get around the borders to kill them. Huzzah.

JDT:

Well lads, prepare yourself for the death of a once promising competitor. Tomyris once ruled the great plains, and had potential. She had a great army, a great AI, once many moons ago. However, she hath given Oxus to the Permians, and now, seem all but destined to be crushed by them, all but poetic as…

*whispering sounds*

Wait. You’re telling me the Permians are getting bodied by Tuva? That means… they can’t dedicate efforts against the Massagetae and… Yay! I don’t have to write a preemptive eulogy today! Suck it Tomyris!

Rosay:

Yup it's the infinite quagmire, don’t mind me just continuing to hold off invasion for another century here i go, this is the life here.

Leman:

Who called Castile drops an Iberian city to America on their bingo card? I didn’t.

Msurdej:  The Kyivan Rus get a nice little bump this week, as a few other civs fall, and the PRs decide that Olga could probably not die as soon as a few of the other city states. But the minute Turkey decides their time is now, Olga will be dead.

Orange:

Literally the only Uganda is so high is because they are in the middle of a bunch of mountains and hills and everyone else keeps dying quicker. No one wants to put Idi out of his misery because the land is terrible for an offensive, so up he continues to go.

Emu

And there it is. The British Isles death spot claims another victim as Fredless Willy peaces out for the entirety of England, relegating Ireland to almost complete insignificance. Geography isn't the only thing to blame, though; Michael Collins has shown remarkable incompetence all game, from failing to settle until way too late, to harmlessly bouncing off Brandenburger Norway, to failing to build any sort of naval strength, letting Brandenburg settle the Hebrides... The list goes on. I went in wanting Michael to do better than Malachy, but it looks like we should have given Brian Boru a shot at it instead.

Msurdej:

In the biggest fall of the episode, Indonesia finds themselves at the top of the bottom 10. The war with Timor-Leste was an absolute fiasco, with Suharto losing many cities. The ongoing wars with Kokang and Afghanistan may not be as costly, but the damage has been done. Indonesia’s time in the sun has probably passed, and now it’s only a matter of time before they are eliminated.

Emu

I keep getting Ming, but I'm not going to fall into the same trap with Yongle that I did with Bulan. A woman can only be hurt so many times. Oh, and they're not even doing anything cool, just vaguely slap-fighting norky over a narrow sea corridor.

JDT:

The Maori managed to go down the ranks in a part where major powers plummeted below them.

Reformer:

Eeh? Fighting Ming now? Through a tiny gap with a bunch of water in the way? Sounds like a good way to grind some embarked units into dust. Not much excitement here, but I must note that if either of these stooges lose too much military they’ll appear to be easier targets for the civs still in the running for victory. For North Korea that’s a double-whammy of Göktürk and Han threat. Göktürks of course are already fighting viciously, but Han is having a quiet time (after some mild skirmishing with Kokang), and is perfectly capable of coming in to wreck some shit, any moment now. Aaaaaany moment now…

Orange:

Too little too late. That’s Botswana here. It’s good that they attacked the Zulu, but they only did it once they were down to two cities and then one of those cities was gifted away in a peace deal. Had Botswana jumped in on this earlier they could be walking away with 3+ cities potentially instead of just one. Just waiting for Angola to turn south again now.

Altima

Part however many of Mori continuing to hold out valiantly against the Gokturk invasion. I’d make some joke about the historical Mongolian invasions or the 2020 action sandbox game loosely based on the same, but really, the failure of this invasion mostly comes down to the relative potency of the Mori UA and UU boat in this circumstance; the boat gets its boosted strength from all these shores, and the UA lets them deal more damage to the invaders than they otherwise could. No divine wind at work here, just solid defensive build and an invader who is themselves being invaded. Expect them to stay where they are unless something wild happens like Timor-Leste joining the Goks in the invasion.

Msurdej:

Kilwa stays neutral in rankings this part, but at this point, I don’t see a real path forward for them. The war against the Zulu is pretty moot at this point, as Timor-Leste has gobbled up all but one hard to reach city. If anything, Ali might start worrying about Timor-Leste attacking his own cities.

Leman:

Yugoslavia’s defense against Brandenburg is insane. I know Yugoslavia has an insane military bonus, they get free experience on units created in wars proportional to their culture output, but I did not think that would allow Yugoslavia to outlast aircraft from one of the scariest civs in the entire cylinder. The defense of Zagreb is heroic and I am incredibly impressed.

Orange:

With the Irish losing so much to the Anglo-Dutch, it can only mean good things for Greenland. Dublin and Cork are the only cities that can produce naval units, and Hans has a lot of ships coming up. Fill up the Irish Sea, push away the land units on the island, and then Dublin is theirs. I believe in you Hans, fulfill my hopes and dreams for another ascendent civ from the Greenland Sea.

JDT:

The Anglo-Dutch rise to their highest ever position as it becomes clear that they’re now a genuine military power. Are they top tier by any stretch of the imagination? No. Are they barely in the ballpark of contention? Yes. Their tech is roughly on par with some other mid-high tier powers, which is acceptable when you realize most of their neighbours are on a similar, if not lower, tech level. Additionally, they just decided to larp and managed to conquer all of England, a giant gain of 3 highly productive cities with more potentially in the horizon. Their position is still not the greatest ever, but they are pretty clearly alright, and they are more than capable of pulling their weight. Now, can they bring Britannia to glory?

Orange:

Chad had so little presence that they weren’t even mentioned in this episode. Their main rival in Africa, Angola, was fighting Zulu while Chad just sat doing nothing. Soon enough they are going to be fully eclipsed by their neighbors. Though for now they do have a tech lead over the Normans, maybe something can come of that.

Leman:

Despite a rise, I still think Chile is future Kayapo clay. They’ve been stagnating for half the game and with Kayapo obliterating Rio de la Plata, are almost completely out of expansion opportunities. They’ve joined the war against RDLP a little too late, and while they might get Tucuman and those island cities in the South Atlantic, they still are looking pretty weak compared to the Inca and the Kayapo.

CelestialDalek:

With every passing moment, more and more doubt grows about Muisca’s ability to take on Kayapo again. They both have a sparse carpet, the tech gap has grown vastly since the original fight, and Kayapo has planes to try and break through the jungle. I am still doubtful that Kayapo will prevail, since the Inca are in a similar position to Muisca way back when, and can close the tech gap more easily. All the Muisca need is a neighbor that they can attack, but unfortunately for them, it’ll be hard to find that neighbor.

JDT:

Bengal drops by one as Angola rises. They have a very simple issue - they’re a medium-sized fish in a pretty big pond, and they aren’t really doing much to get bigger. They have a golden opportunity should they choose to re-attack Indonesia, and their stats are very fine for a mid tier at this stage of the game, but what next? To the east is Timor, to the west is Afghanistan, to the south is the Indian Ocean and more Timor and to the north are the Himalayas and Han+Kokang. These are pretty big fish that can whoop them should they wish, and currently Bengal’s main response is wonder-whoring and not really doing much else. Weather forecast: the tiger’s not causing a monsoon tonight.

CelestialDalek:

I’ll get this out of the way: Yemen is a really weird civ. They do not seem like they should be doing remotely well if you look at them on the minimap. They don’t really have a land army in Arabia, but they do have an air force. But they’re doing ok? I think? They managed to take Madagascar from the Zulu despite not having much space, but they’re not really great in terms of stats. Is this their peak? Are they just picking off weak civs to look better? I don’t have a clue. They can’t pick a fight with Ataturk, but with their newfound planes they might be able to break through the mountains and kill Uganda. Regardless of what they amount to, at least they had fun.

Msurdej:

In the bottom of the Top 20 we have Angola. Savimbi wasn’t able to make more headway against the Zulu, but he does look to be in a good position to keep Serowe. Barring that, Angola still has a great avenue of gains if they attack Botswana. But it has become more precarious with the arrival of Timor-Leste. If Jonas reached too far, they may find themselves best by the cross continent empire.

Altima

Wiradjuri loses a rank as divine punishment for their burning of Mecca. And also because their neighbor and existential threat Timor-Leste just flexed so hard Indonesia exploded, which, you know, makes the Wiradjuri look a bit more vulnerable. But mostly the divine punishment for their sins. They’re still strong enough to do A Thing, Maybe, but they really need to start teching up and munching on the Maori before other powers beat them to the punch, lest the next TL-W war go more like the TL-Indo war did.

Cloudy:

Welp, there go my stonks.

After rising back into the top 10 off their successful invasion of Afghanistan, the Permians take a massive hit as Tuva invades, threatening to capture several of Azykay’s largest core cities. Tuva’s army is overwhelmingly larger; it’s not as technologically advanced on the ground, but they have complete air superiority, rendering the Permians helpless to stop their advance. It’s clear that this isn’t going to go well, and the Permian comeback seems to be at an end.

CelestialDalek:

It’s not a good sign when you trek to Central Asia with a lot of your army to kill a city-state and they repel your invasion. Quite frankly, what in the world was Gediminas thinking? You’re not one of the renowned sniping civs, so sit down.

Looking at the Lithuanian core, you can see that their military leaves a lot to be desired. Barbarians briefly spawned in their core this part, and were not immediately eliminated due to the lack of a carpet. Gediminas is vulnerable to an attack from pretty much any of his neighbors (when they are unoccupied, as I don’t imagine the Permians could take on anyone else right now). Regardless, they aren’t a rump state. Yet.

Emu

A normal part for the Normans, Bobby more or less just watched Yugo get ground down more this part. Malian borders are placed in just the right spot to make taking Marrakech a pain in the ass, but the city really isn't particularly strong so I wouldn't rule out them slipping a couple units in to take it anyway.

Rosay:

Want to know what’s weird? After months of clowning on the Gokturks to the point of single-handedly tanking their part 0 ranking (and let’s be honest, it was still too high in hindsight), I’ve actually grown kinda fond of the Gokturks. It really takes determination to lose your capital and go “you know what let’s take some islands I got this”. Additionally they are holding off Cree pretty well all things considered, Alaska isn’t coming back but at least the mainland is protected and there are still expansion opportunities in the form of the three stooges and maybe Kokang in the near future. Godspeed Gokturkia at least I can’t say you were sleepy.

Cloudy:

It’s been so long since Arapaho did anything, we’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop. They look strong on paper but they can’t touch any of their neighbors, except maybe Greenland. What are they even going to do? Well, fight off rebels I guess..

Cloudy:

Mali isn’t even doing anything and they just keep rising. That’s because their stats are good and other civs in this part of the rankings keep fucking up badly. But we definitely want to see Mali launch a new war soon, or else we could become disillusioned, which is bad for the stonk market.

Rosay:

After a successful war in Indonesia, Kokang actually has a better opportunity now than they’ve ever had in recent times. Not only is Indonesia in the worst state it’s ever been in this game, But the image provided above shows that Ming is so underdeveloped that a quick invasion would essentially result in free cities to add to the empire. While adding these cities does mean that Kokang would share a border with Han, that portion of the border is undermanned so a surprise attack is not out of the question. There is still room for Kokang to expand too, either through Indonesia followed into Africa, or taking on the three stooges. Who knows, we might even get a Kokang V Cambodia part three this part now that Kokang has a better land border.

Cloudy:

This week, Kayapo reaches the highest rank they’ve attained since episode 1, putting them on the threshold of the top 10 once more. The reason is obvious: Raoni Metuktire has efficiently dismantled Rio de La Plata, netting a third capital city and making Kayapo the premier continental power in South America. The Inca remain strong, but their power base lies elsewhere, and it is doubtful that they could challenge the Kayapo on land any time soon. If Metuktire continues to expand the solid empire he has built, then he may yet rise even farther.

Altima

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Reformer:

Well, I mean, Fred has planes now, and he’s reducing a bunch of Yugoslavian city defenses to rubble. But Fred has forgotten how to wage a war on land, it seems, as even despite having every advantage, the war has all but stalled, devolving into trench warfare. Truly no one could’ve seen this coming. But it is disappointing - and when you recall that Brandenburg has also failed to wage successful war against Anglo-Dutch of all civs in the past, you come to realize that killing Anglo-Norse was more of a fluke. In essence, Brandenburg is only strong at all because Anglo-Norse was as good as an empty slot. I do not have much confidence in Fred’s abilities here, and I would probably expect the war in Central Europe to come to an end next part. But then again, the AI certainly likes to fight pointless grinding wars for multiple parts sometimes…

Leman:

Afghanistan finds itself back in the top ten after finally peacing out in a grueling war against the Permians and sniping Midnapore from Indonesia. These last handful of episodes have been an absolute grind for Afghanistan, and the former top-5 staple has found itself struggling to stay afloat. This is the first time in a while Afghanistan has been mostly at peace. And boy does Afghanistan need it. I’m hoping the next few episodes provide Afghanistan with a nice period of recovery, where they can rebuild their devastated land army and focus on their economy, before maybe taking a nice bite out of the Permians in an episode or two.

Reformer:

Han takes a bit of a fall. I’d mostly attribute that to other civs being more impressive this part. But the brief skirmish with Kokang was a bit embarrassing - Han declared the war without many troops on the front, and Kokang flipped a city for a bit, and that was…pretty much it. Now the hope is that Han rebuilds a bit, even if they’ve been fairly impressive with a smaller army in the past. Beating up the stoogest would be ideal too, or potentially stabbing Tuva in the back while their army is ravaging Perm. And Göktürks will continue to be a viable option long-term too. So all in all, the world is Han’s oyster right now. Let’s see if they enjoy the oyster.

CelestialDalek:

With the war for the Bering Strait turning in Poundmaker’s favor, everything seems to be on the up-and-up for the Cree. The naval deadlock seems to be broken, and Sat Poro Pet is now in danger of falling to the Cree. Their stats are already good, with the 6th best production, 8th largest army, and 9th best science on the cylinder. However, there is an elephant in North America: Mohave. Mohave has the best production, largest army, and best science output. As long as North America does not burst into conflict, the Cree are safely in the upper tier. The game plan is just to turtle, maybe kill Arapaho, and make one friend in particular.

Altima

The Inca mostly just spun their wheels this part, trying and failing to make naval gains against the Kokang, taking only a single Antarctic island city. Still, their monstrous stats and plentiful potential invasion vectors put them up a rank at #5. They do need to start getting things into gear, as the Kayapo form up into a potent land threat and the Timor-leste a naval terror, but they still have time. And hey, they have planes. That’s an important threshold right now!

Leman:

There has been major flux in the top five in the last few parts, with the ascension of Timor-Leste and Mohave, and Turkey finds itself in fourth, the lowest ranking we’ve given them since part 12. As such Turkey, with its monstrous stats and incredible science really needs to adapt to survive. Like Tuva, who has decided to adapt by smashing the Permians. Turkey will need to do something aggressive and major to get back to the peak of the rankings.

Emu

Mohave is knocked off the top after just one part, and honestly? They never really deserved it in the first place. Their military record is just as underwhelming as it's ever been, with nothing to show for their massive stats numbers but a couple rolled-over rumps and a slight victory against Cree. They finished the Manhattan Project this part, but I'd be very surprised if they're the first to drop a nuke.

Orange:

Tuva jumps back into second with an absolutely devastating war declaration on the Permians. Pelym is already down to half health, two cities have already fallen. The Permians have a meager amount of troops coalesced around their capital and once those are gone, it’s empty lands as far as the eye can see. This is what happens when we drop Tuva for not doing anything for a bit, they claw their way back up with one of the most important wars on the cylinder so far.

Emu

Little Timmy is really on a new level, and they're blowing past the expectations of absolutely everyone. Where to start? They absolutely destroyed Indonesia's chances at future relevance in a war that some thought would be fairly even, and then proceeded to make landfall.... in South Africa, where they conquered almost the entirety of Cetshwayo's empire. All this from a starting position of 61st. And all this is just them getting started. No one around them is a threat at all anymore except maybe the Inca. Xanana rules the waves, and he rules our hearts.