Power Rankings: Episode 27 – S3

JDT:

Welp Gary, it may be time for literally all the PRs to lose their little game. Chile's invasion of RDLP is seeing a decent amount of progress, and they may very well be dead soon. While we know that they can just… kinda stop at times, I honestly doubt that, but let’s see if the reaper knocks.

CelestialDalek:

The Permians are, for all intents and purposes, dead. If we look at their five cities, one is in the black, one in the yellow, and the other three will be taken at the rate Turkey is going. Only a peace deal can save the Permian empire, but who would want it to be saved anyways? If I were formerly the #1 ranked empire, I’d rather die than become a 1-city empire. Someone just kill Azykay already.

Altima

The vulture is beset by the eagle, as Botswana’s more relevant neighbors punish their declaration on the Zulu by invading in turn. The war has had a slow start, but assuming Angola doesn’t Forgie this one, it’s only going to get worse for Botswana- Angola has airpower, stronger units, and Timor-Leste is also here. I wouldn’t jump to the F keys yet, as slow as Angola’s advance has been and as absent as Timor’s has been, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they do bite it in the coming part either.

Msurdej:

With more civs at war with them than cities, Yongle is on their last legs. Guyang and Kaifeng are already under threat, and it's only a matter of time before Guilin comes under assault. When that time comes, the Ming will cease to be. A fitting end for a civ that did so little.

JDT:

The Zulu can thank their lucky stars, because Botswana decided to cease their invasion and instead die, and the people that were killing them before have long ceased hostilities. If you want bloodshed, don’t worry, they’re still doomed, just not as doomed. OCC, surrounded by bloodthirsty powers? Perfect cannon fodder and filler death.

Altima

Tetouan continues to live on the back of fucky borders, and so, as other powers collapse around them, they rise three ranks. Clap, please.

Reformer:

I mean, three spots up has gotta mean something. But really it’s just Ming, Botswana and Permians sinking to the bottom. Any of ‘em could die next part after all. Besides all this excitement there’s not much to report. In reality there could’ve been something to report since Tuva is at war with these lads. Turkey really came in clutch and blocked the way. Either way they’re still heavily citadelled by a superior civ to the north. You know it’s another Tuesday in Central Asia when powers far greater than yourself fight on the ruins of your civilization.

Orange:

Kim’s not having a good time. I mean, it’s better than the Ming who are about to die, but like, it’s not great. Han has already taken Chongjin and looks to land quite the hefty invasion force on the undefended peninsula. But at least it’s better than the Ming…

Rosay:

Honestly the only thing to note about Cambodia is that now Kokang has flight and dynamite so an invasion is maybe possible.

Leman:

Kyiv rises three spots because three civs are about to die.

Emu

Hilariously enough, Castile being at war with the Normans doesn't make them a candidate for elimination. Instead, the geography of the region lines up so that it looks like they have a chance of actually making gains. Here we have the truest possible successor to Maria the Mad.

Emu

Mori the bori seems to finally be getting swallowed up after several parts of the Gokturk war being inconclusive. I wouldn't count an elimination out, but at this stage it doesn't look too likely given how slowly the Gokturks have advanced up to this point. Just as we get a new member of the dynamic trio, two are immediately under threat of elimination. How tragic.

Reformer:

No, Indonesia didn’t *really* deserve a three rank rise either, but hey, that’s life down here, climbing corpses. Or in this case, climbing on top of cripples. That’s somehow worse. But yes. On the topic of Indonesia, there is nothing to say. The region really quieted down after they got fucked over. All the excitement is elsewhere. Until next time!

JDT:

https://youtu.be/SvZmRv6U_s0

Rosay:

After what seems like a century of humiliation, Ireland has gotten a single W in the form of taking a city back that they lost to Greenland earlier in the part. Other than that it's pretty crazy that Collins saw that the Anglo-Dutch were invading Britain, and just barely taking around *ngland and decided “yeah its not worth it” compared making damn sure he holds what remains of Irish-owned Ireland before making the peace deal.

Reformer:

The Maori just wait for the end to come. In the meantime, every part they survive is better odds of finishing higher. And isn’t that what this is all about?

Orange:

I feel like the only civ Kilwa can attack right now is the fortress of Uganda, not the best odds. But hey, at least enough civs fell from grace to push Kilwa up a rank. And isn’t that what really matters in the end? Who cares if they are slowly getting more surrounded by civs who blast them away in tech, they went up a rank!

CelestialDalek:

Greenland is an icy Arctic hub of disappointment. I expected Buccaneers 2.0, and all I got was a civ that can’t hold on to Tralee. Oviedo isn’t going to be a good hub to invade anywhere else, so it looks like Hans will have to fight the Irish again if he wants anyone to admire him. At least he can be safe on his icy personal island until technology allows everyone else to invade easily.

Orange:

Hey William, there’s quite an interesting opportunity for you just to your east. Brandenburg sucks at war so this might prove to be an invaluable chance to get back at them, maybe take Konigsberg. Honestly I so badly want to see it because fuck Brandenburg they suck at war and I want to see a civ that dominated tests so much fall below A-D who was projected to get rolled immediately by them. Though if Willy takes my advice and joins the war, they better prepare to defend their coast from Brandenburg’s stupidly large fleet.

CelestialDalek:

Chile is trying to kill Rio de la Plata once and for all by taking Tucuman. The problem is they suck at it. The other problem is their neighbors are Inca and Kayapo. Killing Tucuman won’t do much of anything for their stats, so they might as well just twiddle their thumbs until the inevitable invasion.

CelestialDalek:

Two developments have occurred in Chad this part. We now know that Idris Deby is a communist, and that he focuses too much on ranged units. I used to be Chadpilled and consistently ranking them higher, but they really need a weak neighbor to fight, and they don’t have one. Uganda doesn’t count because their border is mountainous. Angola or the Normans would be a fair match. Just please, for the love of god, fight SOMEONE, even if it’s Turkey. At least the curbstomp would be exciting.

Msurdej:

Glorious Yugoslavia has retaken Zagreb! And what’s more, Potsdam has fallen! Brandenburg has few units defending Berlin, meaning Glorious Leader Tito can send the wonderful army of Yugoslavia in for the kill. The cylinder has laughed at Tito, but who is laughing now? THAT’S RIGHT! YUGOSLAVIA!

Leman:

Muisca didn’t really do much this part, besides adopting an ideology and taking an accompanying bump in stats. Honestly, the biggest change in Muisca’s fortunes during these parts is the rise of Kayapo after they’ve absolutely demolished Rio de la Plata. While I personally don’t think Muisca ever had any shot of repeating the conquest of Bau, they definitely can’t do that now that Kayapo has nearly doubled its city count in the last few parts. Muisca is now in an unfortunate position of being surrounded by civs significantly stronger than it: America, Inca, Mohave, and Kayapo. Muisca’s going to have to lay low and hope an opportunity presents itself before they fall too far behind.

Emu

Bobby takes a bit of a dive as he continues to fail to sneak around Mali's Balearic possessions to take out Tetouan. In addition, one of his cities is under threat from a civ several eras behind him. Nonetheless, the situation in Europe is so strange at the moment that the Normans still look fairly likely to win Europe. Strange days are ahead of us in this region.

Altima

Yemen’s boned. Probably. They do actually have the ability to pull themselves to stronger footing- they can expand their African footings by munching on the utter jobbers there (maybe kill Kilwa?), and their tech isn’t bad. But the rising Turkish star bodes really fantastically awful for the civ that borders them on a very flat, very accessible border. If Turkey declares, Yemen’s best hope to hold their homeland is to either A. pull a Mediterranean civ and try and just navally flipfest everything until Turkey gives up and trades a city for peace, or B. become African Portugal and move their core to their African colonies. Now, thus far they seem to have navigated Turkish relations fairly well; but AI diplomacy is an unreliable aegis. If they want to be a proper power, they need something firmer to defend themselves with.

Altima

Bengal suffers from what I am calling Chola Syndrome. They’re a perfectly functional civ with a decent record to its name, but they’re trapped in India with a bigger civ who is themselves also trapped. Thus, unless something wild happens (like a larger power declaring on Afghanistan and wrecking house), they’ll stay here forever. Still, the combination of Perm’s deep fall and statistical noise leaves Bengal rising three; not for the first time, and probably not the last.

Leman:

Wiradjuri is still cruising after getting out of a war with Timor-Leste only down a single city. They spent this part wisely bulking up, and while they’re still clearly behind Timor-Leste in stats, the gap has shrunk significantly in the last episode. Wiradjuri picked up six techs and almost caught up in production! Now all they have to do is clean up the Maori, and then talk the Inca into helping take down their northern neighbor.

Orange:

Alright so if Gediminas could just leave Massagetae alone for a bit, Brandenburg is seeming like a spicy opportunity to retake Lithuania’s rightful place as rulers of Europe. There’s two problems: Lithuania is 5 techs behind, and has 1/4th the military. Also BB has planes. Now, maybe Lithuania can overcome this difference by sheer force of “Brandenburg sucks at war”. We will have to see. Also ignore how I’m somehow more pessimistic about Lithuania being able to join and beat BB than I am for A-D, though if they both joined in then we’d have some real fun.

Leman:

Mild drop from Mali as Angola wakes up and reminds Mali that there is another civ in Africa that could potentially win the continent. Mali doesn’t seem to notice as after gutting Tetouan and getting some cheeky cities in Europe, they’ve still done nothing. Not a great look for them, I’ll be honest, but stats wise, Mali is still looking fine. They’ve got some time.

Emu:

Kokang faces yet another invasion from a civ with a superior navy, and chances are they'll come out unscathed this time too. Their small corps of Destroyers won't quite be able to stand up to the Mohave navy, but aerial and artillery bombardment is sure to sharply limit any advances made in Kokang waters. Maybe this will be the shock that finally gets Yang to build a proper navy.

Reformer:

Peace with Cree arrives, and in the end it could’ve definitely been worse. Sure, Cree is no Han, but Cree quite plainly had the upper hand from the start, and this difference in strength could’ve hurt a lot more than it did. And hey, look on the even brighter side: now Göktürks can beat up Mori all they want. In fact, with the technological and numerical advantage, I would absolutely expect Göktürks to continue ravaging the pitiful Mori Kingdom next part, and who knows, maybe they’ll go all the way. Look forward to it! I still have hopes for Bumin!

Leman:

Holy shit that was embarrassing. Brandenburg loses Potsdam to Yugoslavia, a civ that by literally every single metric is weaker than Brandenburg. Brandenburg is three times stronger in military, in production, in population, and not only could they never break Zagreb, but also, somehow, managed to lose a core city to this weird rump state, despite the fact that Brandenburg now has an air force. I honestly have no idea how the AI pulls stuff like this off.

Yes, I know, Brandenburg is just going to (probably) flip that city back but this is embarrassing for a civ as strong as and with such a scary reputation as Brandenburg.

JDT:

Angola rises by 8 as our copium that a strong power will rise out of Africa this game hits maximum capacity. And let's be frank here, Angola gives good reason to believe. They are currently eviscerating Botswana, helping create a bountiful core and, more importantly, reason to believe that they’ll start being more aggressive, which is paramount. Here's the thing - there is no category Angola is in the top 15 in statswise. Their tech is quickly falling behind the superpowers and even great powers, their production is mediocre and their army, while large, isn’t that large or modern in the grand scheme of things, especially compared to top, high, or even middle tier powers. Their strength comes entirely from the fact that every African power is just as weak as they are, if not weaker, and if they step up to plate fast enough, they might just get enough of a powerbase to truly get back into contention. Just hope they don’t get smacked by an American power or Timor-Leste.

Leman:

Kayapo is great. Some rankers think Kayapo isn’t great, but those rankers are not me, and also are wrong.

Fresh off of rumping our former #1, Kayapo is standing tall, pumping up its stats, and growing its Platanese conquests into massive megalopolises just like its core in the Amazon. The sky’s the limit for Kayapo, now, both Muisca and Chile are looking pretty weak comparatively. Maybe Kayapo pushes south? Or maybe they try to avenge the conquest of Bau? Maybe if Kayapo kills a third civ they’ll finally make it into the top ten!  

Msurdej:

Riding back into the top 10, Pretty Nose has managed to surprise us in the Power Rankers. The war against the Cree has not been a disaster at all, with Arapaho on the offensive. This is largely due to their tech advantage, which shows in over two dozen airplanes that Arapaho is feilding nearby. While Kapawe No is likely to flip, it’s a decisive first blow in favor of Pretty Nose.

Emu:

Afghanistan may have proven their military record in recent parts, but in that time they've lost what kept them so high in the first place: stats. They've now fallen out of the top 10 in overall stats, and they appear to be lacking crucial military techs like Plastics or even Replaceable Parts, and although they've recently acquired the necessary tech for planes, we haven't seen any materialize. Right now, it looks as if any of their non-rump neighbors could beat them in a land war. Durrani needs to fix this in short order, lest he see his own empire being sent to the graveyard.

JDT:

The Cree drop 2 as a war we expected to be a slam dunk turns out to be a competitive affair. The Arapaho are actually pushing into their lands right now, while little progress has been made against the enemy. The Cree army is fairly out of position, and the relatively small Arapaho army has been able to harness the air and their shiny new landships to great efficiency, flipping Kapawe No and threatening Philadelphia. Meanwhile, I have not seen a single plane on the Cree’s cities, though Konooutousei on the Arapaho’s side seems like it's being threatened by a significant force and Kapawe No looks incredibly flippable. The air may be the deciding factor here, and the Cree are losing decisively. So let us see what they may strike back with.  

Emu

FDR takes a few ranks, not really due to anything he did this part, but as part of a general shakeup of the top 10. That's hardly the important part here. The important part is that his two biggest rivals are fighting right next to them, and the timing is ripe for the long-awaited war declaration. Arapaho is wide open, and this is FDR's chance to break out of the Eastern seaboard. At the very least, those two coastal cities would be instant toast.

Msurdej:

Han goes up a rank as they begin to finish off the Ming, once and for all. Having kicked them off the mainland, Wu is now wrapping up the final few cities of Ming, with the help of Tupac for the new Ming capital. Once that happens, the Han shall become the last China standing.

Altima:

The Inca hold steady at 5 this week, principally on the back of their monstrous stats. Their split focus between the Pacific and their home continent does present a potential problem (and one that has already cost them potential expansion, via the Rio wars), and the surprising amount of other powerful civs in the Pacific (including the next two highest ranked civs) makes their position much more potentially sketch, but if they should pull a Turkey and transition from their current grindy war against the Ming into a successful aggressive war against someone relevant, well, expect their rank to pull a Turkey.

Emu:

Rather than intervening in the continent-defining war directly on his border, Irataba decides to make a foray into a Pacific already filled with first-rate naval powers. Their navy is superior on the field, but I see no real chance of the fleet now east of Taiwan making any lasting captures, given the density of Kokang planes and general unapproachableness of the obvious targets. But hey, at least the Central Asian colony turned out to be relevant.

JDT:

Timor-Leste spent the last part licking their wounds, not really expanding or fighting. This is perfectly fine, their stats are still incredible, but there's just one minor issue - two civs saw what they did to Indonesia and the Zulu and decided to replicate it on the Permians. These two have now gotten a powerbase beyond most people's imagination and the chops and bloodthirst to back it up. Meanwhile, Timor didn’t do much this part and their stats remained roughly the same. Of course, anything may change in an instant, and they’re still overall second in stats, so don’t take any naysaying as gospel.

Rosay:

After the successful joint effort with Turkey to take the Permians off of the census, Tuva sits comfortably in the number 2 spot, due to their empire's rapid expansion in all stats. Only problem for them right now is that in doing so, Tuva more or less greenlighted Turkey taking the undisputed number one spot with Turkey taking more out of the Permians than Tuva could ever dream of in a singular war. Now is this bad? Kinda. Does it mean that Tuva is in a worse position than they were without all of those Permian cities? Fuck no. Turkey was going to get into a weakened Permian empire one way or another, but now as long as Turkey is distracted by anyone or just inactive, then Tuva can just steamroll through East Asia as their own personal playground. Even in a hypothetical war, Tuva can actually stand up to Turkey. Tuva right now actually out produces Turkey, before properly stabilizing all of their new holdings and could just wear down Turkey with minimal losses. Though I will say this: Tuva I love you my precious, but please for the love of all that is holy, fix your goddamn science issue, the gap is now growing exponentially and you need to fix it ASAP.

Orange:

Look honestly there isn’t much to say for Turkey other than “Holy shit what the fuck?”. They didn’t just walk into the Permians, they destroyed half the civ in a single part. They took to heart people saying they were sleepy and their struggle of a war against the Kyivan Rus, and just went full force against the Permians. They obliterated what was a very high ranked civ to such completion that they are going to be fully knocked out next part unless Ataturk decides to make peace now. This was destruction on another level and solidified Turkey’s place at the top of the rankings.