Power Rankings: Episode 28 – S3

Cloudy:

Despite my bold predictions that Botswana would survive to total war, it seems they have not. The zebra is actually, for real, dead. And at the hands of Angola, the sleepiest civ in the game, no less! Perhaps it’s a fitting death for a civ that was screwed from the start and clearly knew it. Seretse Khama wasn’t playing to win, that’s for sure.

Orange:

Pour one out for the winter bois, they fought hard and fought well and topped the rankings so much. The fact that they are out in 43rd doesn’t give them the justice they deserve. Honestly I can’t remember who’s come close to this doing so well early on to getting knocked out, and no Burkina Faso in X2 doesn’t count they were 1st for one part, the Permians were 1st for seven parts. They were top ten three parts ago. No one else has had a blaze of glory like Azykay.

Cloudy:

This week we say goodbye to Ming, the runner-up in China that never managed to break out of its box. We had high hopes for Ming going into this, but were pretty quickly disappointed when Yongle failed to expand. He eventually built lots of settlers, but by then all the good spots were taken and it was too late to turn things around. Despite defending competently for a long time, Han’s superior size and technology eventually overwhelmed them, and they went out in 42nd, a placement which they unfortunately deserve.

Emu:

And our latest flop from Aotearoa is laid to rest. Some of us had high hopes that this season's Maori would be the ones to finally break the eternal curse of the Polynesian civ: to look promising at first, but inevitably end up wasting away and getting swallowed up by the Eastern Australian contender. This season it happens even as Wiradjuri is busy getting its guts torn out back on the continent. We're now solidly into the part of the game when any of the small fry can be eliminated by a major power in the space of a single part, especially when said small fry forever sunk its chances by giving away a city directly in the middle of their core. Chin up Kiwis, sixth time's the charm.

Rosay:

Nothing much really changed for Rio this part, they are still fighting for their life against Chile, but them fighting for so long gives me a bit of validation to my earlier thought of “Chile is overrated as hell” so thanks for that I guess Rio.

Msurdej:  Civs that can kill Sayyida and the chance they have to do it:  Normans: 74%Mali: 24%  

Castile: 1%  Any other civ: .999999%  

Tetouan actually win: If this happens I will eat my socks

Orange:

Kim Il-Sung hangs on for dear life with Han giving them a saving grace peace while their last city was deep in the red. Now, the irony of it all is that Kim is stuck in the city he tried so so so hard to siege at the start of the game, Tajihi-Sarugaki. What stood as a bastion against North Korea’s pathetic offense is now their last hope for survival and where Kim will spend the last of his days.

Altima:

Massagetae goes up a rank because other people have been eating shit, while they’ve only got one civ that can attack them. When that civ does attack them, they’re absolutely dead, but for now Turkish borders offer better protection than most other runts.

Leman:

Four dead civs means four ranks.  Honestly, I’m pretty upset Zulu outlived Botswana, to be honest. I blame Timor-Leste for not finishing Zulu off when they could have.

Msurdej:

Civs that can kill Olga and the chance they have to do it:  Turkey: 65%  Lithuania: 25%  Yugoslavia: 9%  

Any other civ: .9999999% repeating  

Kyivan Rus actually win: If this happens I will eat my socks

JDT:

I tried letting an AI make this writeup. It didn’t really pan out, but I have a PR slide now.

Msurdej:

Civs that can kill Isabella and the chance they have to do it:  Mali: 68%  

Normans: 28%

Castile: 3%  Any other civ: .999999%  

Castile actually win: If this happens I will eat my socks

Leman:

Mori’s defense against Gokturks is holding. I mean, they’re still bleeding off cities, but at this rate, losing about a city per episode, Mori has a couple hundred turns of life left in them. That is as long as the reaper of East Asia, Han, doesn’t join in. Or Tim. I bet Tim could kill ‘em.

But hey, Mori outlived Ainu and Ming, and could probably just kill North Korea to outlive them too! That’s an accomplishment, right?

JDT:

Classic Indog throw, giving Semarang to Afghanistan. There’s a reason I left lol.

Leman:

Did you expect Uganda to outlast Permians?

JDT:IRELAND IS NOT YET LOST! IRELAND IS NOT YET LOST! I BELIEVE!!! I AM BEGINNING TO BELIEVE! THE IRELANDSWEEP! THE IRELANDSWEEP IS REAL!!!!!

Rosay:

After Timor-Leste arrived on the Africa continent, Angola remembered that it has to play the game if it wants to win, and Yemen grew an air-force, Kilwa is now in an unwinnable position where they are just waiting to get taken out. Now are they a proper rump? Far from it, but there is really no way that I can see them making a comeback. Now they do have a massive navy to protect them from a naval assault and they aren't incompetent at war, plus they're spread out across ocean tiles making a single civ conquering them difficult, but don't expect them to be more than a purple splat on the map if you were not already.

Msurdej:Well Greenland didn't do much on this part. Their big reveal was that Greenland forces dominate the Seminole government in exile. A potential plot against the Americans? Only time will tell.

Orange:

I knew people were ranking Wiradjuri way too high, Australian civs just aren’t that fun, especially the eastern ones since they have the good land, conquer the continent easily, and then do nothing. But luckily, this game, Wiradjuri is looking like some real nice food for Timor-Leste.

Altima

Hilariously, despite being declared on by a much stronger power, Chile’s rank holds steady owing to how slow said power has been to do anything with the war. Hell, Chile even took an island. It’s entirely possible that Kayapo will swing things back around- they are very much of the “glacier go slow but unceasing” tendency- but the rankers are as a whole uncertain enough on where this war is going that they’ve stayed where they started the part.

JDT:

The Anglo-Dutch rise by two as a result of continually being the baseline of minimum viability. I have to commend Willy for somehow managing to keep up techwise and, to a lesser extent military wise, with the juggernauts of the world. And he still has chances yet, given that Europe seems very weak at this moment in time (sans Turkey, which is half-Asian anyways). With a steady hand and some good aim, he can shoot to the moon, at least, I feel.

Leman:

For a while the conversation around Chad was if they’d have a shot at conquering Africa before Mali and Angola got their act together. I think, with Angola’s conquest of Botswana, I can pretty safely say that Chad probably doesn’t have a shot at conquering the whole continent. I think Chad’s new role is as a prize? Whoever conquers Chad, will probably be the civ that takes over the continent, whether that’s Angola, Mali, Turkey, or even Yemen. That’s my prediction.

Emu:

Muisca sleeps as every single one of their neighbors becomes a major power. This is the stage in the game where middling powers like Muisca become completely irrelevant and the list of real contenders is pared down to about 15. They had their moment when Kayapo was weak and the American navy wasn't in a state to resist a storming of the Caribbean, but those days are over. If I knew I was going to keep getting assigned these guys, I'd start writing up the eulogy now.

Altima:

Bengal didn’t do anything, and they still border Afghanistan. Thus, we took two ranks from them. Thank you for listening to my TED talk.

Leman:

I’ve been saying for weeks that Yugoslavia’s defense against Brandenburg is nothing short of heroic. This week, I have to make a slight change to that: Yugoslavia’s offense against Brandenburg is nothing short of heroic. That UA is giving Tito legions of incredibly powerful, highly promoted troops are making short work of Brandenburg’s massive army as it slowly trickles in from Scandinavia. The Brandenburg air force is all but ineffective as Yugoslav artillery breaks the defenses of Potsdam and Konigsberg. Yes, in the last image Brandenburg did manage to flip Konigsberg back, but let’s be real. We’re all hoping Tito makes it to Berlin. I believe in him.

Leman:

Other people keep calling Yemen weird and hard to rank, but I disagree. Yemen is great and hard to rank! They have good stats but look terrible and small on the map, so they are quite hard to rank. They neighbor more powerful civs like Turkey and Afghanistan, but still have expansion opportunities in Chad and Kilwa. They have shockingly good science over a hundred trade-routes with frighteningly little production.

So where does this leave Yemen? Somewhere in the middle of the pack for sure. It’ll probably waffle around 20ish for a while. Until Arwa wakes up and monsters Kilwa. That’s gonna happen, just wait.

Leman:

Normans’ rank has been see-sawing pretty hard in the last few episodes as it seems the rankers are unclear on how to rank them. On the one hand, they had a sizable military, a decent production for a mid-tier and some clear expansion opportunities, such as Yugoslavia, the Anglo-Dutch, or whatever’s going on in Iberia. On the other hand, Normans’ science is absolute trash, and they have more powerful neighbors looming – like Turkey. I couldn’t really tell you why the Normans gained a couple ranks but expect this lack of clarity to continue.

JDT:

The Cree plummet down the rankings as they aren’t just getting beat by the Arapaho - they’re getting decimated. While in theory the war should’ve been even, it seems rather evident that the Cree were not prepared for the Arapaho giant to wake up, and now they’ve lost half their core. The question now isn’t “will they win,” it's “how much will they lose?” Will this be a Permian repeat? I doubt it, but we shall see.

Cloudy:

Mali remains in 16th because no one deserves to be higher, but let’s be real, confidence in Mali is actually waning. They don’t look so impressive on the map anymore, as they’ve been sitting quietly while others conquer weak neighbors, and Sundiata Keita hasn’t shown any signs of initiative for several episodes now. If he wants to avoid the fate of every highly ranked West African civ before him, he needs to prove it, and probably soon.

Altima:

Well, they’re maybe pushing back. Here’s hoping they can retake Konigsberg, the city they own-goaled. Both sides are relatively sparse on land units at the moment, though the Yugoslavs are 90% artillery by volume, which may help the Germans here. God, this is such a fucking farce. Freddy really needs to pick a fight with someone he can boat next time, the dumb fuck. Until then, I hope he keeps dropping.

Leman:

Bit of a mixed bag for Lithuania this week. They built up a lot of military finally, more than doubling their troop count from last episode. They got a decent buff in some other stats, most notably production. Their longtime European rival, Brandenburg is getting embarrassed by Yugoslavia of all civs. Their longtime Asian rival, the Permians, are dead. All good, right?

Well, kind of. That new, long border with the strongest nation on the cylinder, Turkey is not good for Lithuania. Turkey cut through the Permians like a hot knife through butter, there’s no way Lithuania, as it exists now, is going to be able to put up more of a fight.

Emu:

The Gokturk rampage down Japan continues, picking up steam and cities as the outdated and outnumbered Mori navy buckles under the pressure. Normally I would criticize a focus on naval conquest in the Pacific when much stronger navies exist to the south, but seeing as Gokturk land possessions are directly threatened by a recently-embiggened Tuva and an ever-growing Han, I'd characterize it as the best possible play to avoid standing still and languishing.

Emu:

Kokang fends off the Mohave navy as anticipated, and in the wake of this near-disaster, they seem to have undertaken a fleet modernization program, replacing their galleass garbage patch with Destroyers, Ironclads, and Cruisers. On land, they look weaker than Han for sure, but Han is notorious for leaving huge gaps in their carpet, so depending on the air superiority situation Kokang may be able to take a couple cities in a war.

Rosay:

After a millennium of inactivity Angola has finally closed out a good part, eliminating Botswana and expanding their empire by 4 cities. Now while Angola’s stat total isn’t nearly where it should be, it doesn’t exactly need to right now it just needs to be equal to or surpass Mali, Chad, and Kilwa. Angola is still behind Mali as of now in most key metrics but unlike Mali, Angola has access to the infinitely weaker Chad and Kilwa, and Angola absolutely overpowers both of them. There is the issue of sharing a border with Timor Leste now, but Angola might be able to just rush the South African holdouts, and even if they can’t, natural borders protect them enough from a hypothetical Timor lighting war.

Emu:

Kayapo kicks off another one of their trademark slow-start wars against Allende's popular government, having not yet brought their air force to bear against the numerically and technologically inferior Chilean army. It seems Raoni likes to take his time, but can he deliver results with this strategy again? La Plata was a far weaker opponent than the red and blue behemoth to the South that cut them off nearly seven months ago, defining their entire performance in this contest thus far. In any case, if Kayapo makes any real gains in this war, it can truly be said that they face no real opposition on the South American continent.

Altima:

Afghanistan holds center in both play and ranking. They’re a historically quiet civ, only doing much when forced to by an outside actor, but they’ve still got solid stats and a few weak neighbors they could munch on later. Like Bengal. Please bulk up and attack Bengal. I am begging you.

Msurdej:Fascist Delano Roosevelt had a quiet part this week. The biggest news was hiring a new admiral, but it’s not the most important news in North America. The continued Cree/Arapaho war keeps on raging, and best of all, weakening both leader’s armies. If America can wait until the time is right, they might be able to pounce on one of them once the fighting is over. And if not on land, then America can use its powerful navy to go after civs like Ireland or Greenland. Fascists may deserve to die, but there’s no denying that America is a land of opportunity.

Leman:

Inca had a fairly quiet part for a top ten superpower. They grabbed a city from Ming, successfully demilitarized South America, and watched ominously from their true core in Polynesia as Timor Leste devoured the Wiradjuri. So, it’s not like anything bad happened to the Inca, it’s just that the civs above them have either just finished or are currently in the process of making huge sweeping conquests. They’re still strong - Inca’s stats are still absolutely massive, their Pacific fleet is gargantuan (but does remind me of Australia’s completely ineffective fleet from Mk2 – not that Inca’s is quite as ineffective yet, but it has yet to be put to use). But raw stats can only take Inca so far, they’re going to have to make use of those stats soon, before civs like Timor-Leste and Kayapo out match them.

Cloudy:

Hark, ye of little faith! The Arapaho are proving all the doubters wrong as they efficiently dismantle the Cree, capturing numerous cities and landing a potentially crushing blow to one of their top competitors in the contest for North America. After falling as low as 18th in episode 23, Pretty Nose is now back up to 6th, and if she can take the Cree capital while avoiding costly wars with America or Mohave, then the top 5 isn’t out of the question.

Orange:

Sadly my bois are getting a bit edged out from the top due to their lack of attacking Arapaho or Cree. Like, still top tier stats but like, Irataba you really need to fight one of those two before Arapaho becomes the dominant empire of the Americas. Please I need a California civ to dominate. Please…

JDT:

The Han rise by one as they begin to mop up the runts of East Asia. Ming is gone, and North Korea may be gone soon as well. Their army has always been well trained, but now they’re also looking fairly numerous, and those numbers are gonna go up with the future addition of their air force. All their stats are good, and though they are surrounded by bad terrain and Tuva, opportunity still abounds for the great dragons of the east, should they take it. And looking at how they’re rolling, it's not unlikely they’ll continue to assert dominance, and possibly eclipse the passive-and-swiftly-getting-outgunned Mohave in the near future with their dearth of weaker neighbours. Is the dragon now prepared to enter the top? Time shall tell.

Rosay:

Tuva has successfully taken what remained of the Permians, despite a rebellion in Kuva. Normally this is where I'd say the next possible option (Gokturks) but here's the thing with Tuva in particular, they DESPERATELY need to fix their tech deficit. Right now they have 67 techs, which is only the 15th highest on the cylinder which let me remind you is almost the MIDPOINT of the remaining civs, and is below backwards civs like Mali and Wira, and almost at the same level as Bengal. Previously this wasn't too bad until Turkey became their largest neighbor and the difference became night and day. To a lesser extent Han is an issue too, as they both have more techs currently, and are widening the tech gap. Keep in mind that Han beat Tuva in war when the situation was reversed and Han was the less advanced civ. I hate to say this but Tuva, get your science act together right now or you might not even be able to crack the top ten by the end of this game.

Cloudy:

Timor-Leste climbs back up to #2 this week on the news of their wildly successful invasion of the Wiradjuri, which has so far netted them five cities and promises to deliver several more in the near future. Timor clearly saw the top spot taken by Turkey and decided they needed a conquest to match Ataturk’s if they wanted it back. So far they’re not quite there yet, but if Timor really takes over all of Australia, they could be looking at #1 once again.

Orange:

Turkey has entrenched themselves at the top spot, finishing off the rest of the Permians and starting to build up the lands they just conquered. Things are just looking perfect for Ataturk. Doesn’t really feel like anything can stop him right now. He truly is on top of the world.