Power Rankings: Episode 37 – S3

JDT:

It's not uncommon to find nations who live very boring lives but die very exciting deaths. I would argue that Greenland would exemplify this more than anyone. Greenland was THE mid-tier power for most of the game. They never were good enough to be in contention, but never were bad enough to be completely written off. They made a pathetic effort against Ireland, were beaten multiple times by America (usually a result of their own incompetence) and ended up being destroyed by the Arapaho just before total war. Everyone expected their singular distinguishing figure, their very large military, to instantly evaporate the moment total war starts.

Not tonight, it seems.In one of the most insane death showings ever, Greenland went all out in the 11th hour, launching their military force towards successful campaigns in Great Britain, Antarctica and Mesoamerica. They pillaged and ravaged the Mohave and Anglo-Dutch, became the terrors of Asia and the Pacific, and stubbornly held on in San Salvador until the very end of the part, flipping the city over and over again against superior Mohave and Arapaho firepower. And then, to top an insane finale off, they decide in their final act, to revive Centroamerica, instead of flipping the city one last time. What a thrilling finale to such a mediocre nation. You may not have lived up to expectations, but you surely surpassed our new ones, Hans Egede. F.

Rosay:

Cree was always gonna be the biggest loser of the total war and that is probably gonna be their legacy. It’s a shame too because Cree wasn’t exactly awful this game, hyper northern American civs tend to do well, but they never could really surpass their neighbors, or capitalize when they could. There were times when both Arapaho and the Gokturks were incredibly vulnerable but we’re ignored by the Cree and by the time Cree was ready to carve up some civs, Arapaho had become a surprise late game power and their other expansion opportunities were either not attractive enough or dead. Who knows if Cree had a decent enough offensive against Arapaho in the mid game, they could’ve taken Wootei and permanently crippled Arapaho but instead they slowly got chipped away until total war. At least they beat Kwak, you got one buddy.

Msurdej:

Well look what the cat dragged in, pooped on, ate, then hacked back up. Morazon was brought back to life in a cruel joke, and has 0 chance of surviving much longer with production and tech that is leagues behind even Castile. Hopefully someone will send Central America back to the Babylonian Sub where they belong.

Rosay:

You gotta admit Yugo is holding pretty well outlasting a bunch of better stronger civs than them. Now Brandenburg I understand but Turkey has proven to actually be competent at war so you can safely say that it’s a matter of Tito having a good ai rather than a “Brandenburgian skill issue”. Still give them two parts at best.

Cloudy:

It’s nearly curtains for America, as their last two cities both lie on the brink of defeat, an ocean apart but united by the inevitability of their demise. All that remains of America right now is La Serena in the Caribbean and Oviedo in France, which will probably fall to Arapaho and Mali, respectively. The only question is how many turns it will take. Probably not many, but even so, it was a good run, and Roosevelt will go out with a bang, not a whimper.

Altima:

The Normans yet live, left with only two cities. Their army is gone, Mali is still ascendant, death is coming. It is only a matter of when, and from whom. Of their two cities, Mali will almost certainly take the continental one, leaving it a race for the Mediterranean one. Mali has a fleet close by, but they only have one badly wounded melee boat in it last I could see. The Turks are busy feeding Tito his teetho, but they’ve actually got a reasonably well-put together fleet should they have the opportunity. Either way, I don’t give the Normans good odds of making out of this part alive.

Leman:

Chad is alive. This is because Turkey was completely unprepared for total war and Angola turned out to be a complete paper tiger. Chad’s survival now completely depends on how much longer it takes Turkey to get its war economy online. If Chad is lucky, Turkey will be too busy with Brandenburg, Afghanistan, and Tuva and Chad might sneak into episode 39. If Chad is unlucky, we’ll blink and Turkey will have wiped them from the map.

Emu:

Well, we always knew they weren't anglo-much. Our perennial runts in orange may find themselves ahead of several other civs, but make no mistake- William III is as good as toast. Most of what was at this point their core has been completely nuked off the map, and their few remaining cities don't look safe by any stretch of the imagination. They did start 60th, so this is a huge overperformance, but to be honest it never really felt like it. They never rose high enough to be a real threat to even a historically weak Brandenburg, or even a persistent throne in their side. No, the Anglo-Dutch made it this far for one reason and one reason only- Fred-Willy never moved against them until TW forced his hand. All in all, they slide to a death as lackluster and underwhelming as the color orange itself.

Msurdej:

Oh goody, the Musica. Caught between the Inca, Kaypao, Mohave and Arapaho, ol' Nemequene doesn't have a great path upward. The attacks are getting their armies and production lower and lower, but they aren't making many gains. They might be able to take a few weak cities (Like the newly brought back Central America), but the time of the Kingdom in the Sun is coming to a close.

Altima

Castile continues to exist as every civ with Nexi is too far from them (and frankly too busy) to bother correcting this. They at the very least have a couple more “outlasting a better civ” rounds left in them, so up two ranks they go. It’ll be really funny to me if someone just accidentallys a stray Nexus across their territory, but gets distracted before the kill happens.

Emu:

What do you mean the Gokturks are still alive? Huh, that's..... actually not bad performance on water. Nice going, lesser Turks. I mean it's not going to save them, but this will ensure they go down as a respectable high-mid tier who held their own for a reasonable amount of time rather than as another Siberian do-nothing. Also they seem to be the first civ to *want* to settle northern Honshu.

Msurdej:

Arwa finds themselves starting to slip as their fight against Turkey is doing worse than expected. They've lost over a third of their military, and similar amounts for their production. They've gotten their fair share of nukes thrown at them, a few cities being nuked off the map. They still have some gas, but it seems unlikely they'll survive to reach a second cycle if we need it.

Cloudy:

Angola is doing about as badly as we expected so far, losing numerous cities to Mali with very little resistance. They did capture two cities from Timor-Leste, but they lost a lot more than that to Mali, plus a couple to Yemen and Turkey, and several additional cities on their eastern flank were destroyed by nuclear weapons. Already on the minimap Angola resembles a shell of its former self. And so far there’s no sign that Savimibi is able to produce enough units to stem the bleeding before it’s too late.

Orange:

Seriously how do I keep getting Kayapo slides…Anyways, Kayapo are clearly showing they’re tech ain’t coming in too handy as Inca is pushing against them again and they have practically no military. Their military is puny and they are clearly against building more, so looks like they will just slowly be pushed back by the greater Incan mob. All those free wonders going straight to Tupac’s personal keepings.

Also yes they are close to losing another city to Mali again and have done nothing to try and retake Recife…

Orange:

Afghanistan is in a bit of an interesting position here, they clearly got some strength and are fighting Bengal, but Turkey is just watching them instead of directly fighting. So things are going better than they could be. But at the same time, they are losing against Bengal… Bengal has a third of the production yet has more troops and is pushing them back. Durrani needs to turn on those factories and start pumping out units before Bengal’s early rush can start to take and build up Afghan cities.

Leman:

I’m gonna be honest, I'm absolutely shocked with how well Kokang did in our first episode of Total War. I expected Timor-Leste and Han to demolish Kokang. They had less military than Greenland, were squeezed in between one of the game’s leaders and one of the largest armies in the world. Yet somehow, Kokang managed to get out of the war with only two cities lost. I’m amazed. Kokang even managed to flip a Timorese city and for one brief moment, and finally flipped Phnom Penh. I don’t know how much longer Kokang can hold out, but in this particular episode Kokang exceeded all expectations.

JDT:

If you’re a Mohave doubter, congrats, you’re kinda right. Mohave has not been doing too swimmingly in total war. Their military is mostly shot, their lands are now as irradiated as it is in Fallout, and the Arapaho and Inca are breathing down their neck. It seems like its a slow boat to destruction from here, no? Well, yes, but they still have geography on their side, and the fact that everyone is distracted with everything else. They managed to steal cities from the Inca and are contesting in Japan, and the Arapaho have continually failed to land decisive blows, with somehow not a single city flipping against them. Death will come for them another day, it seems.

Cloudy:

Bengal is off to a surprisingly strong start to total war, pushing hard into Afghanistan in the west while simultaneously taking cities from Timor-Leste in the east. With Afghanistan collapsing and Timor focused on the dire Incan threat, it may be some time before the other shoe drops, and Bengal could use that time to cement for itself a higher place in the rankings. In fact so far the only loss Bengal has suffered is that Kokang flipped Phnom Penh, but even so, by the end of the episode Bengal had taken it back. So far, so good! But Bengal should still be wary, because this has only just begun, and fortunes could change on a dime...

CelestialDalek:

Looks like the tech rut hasn’t hurt Han too much. This part they gained plenty from Total War due to strength in numbers alone, making small gains against the Gokturks, Kokang, and even a bit from Mohave. Basically, they’re in the same position as Tuva, but without a giant Turkey looming over their shoulders. Tuva still has a lot more troops and about 30% more production, but so far they’ve just focused on taking down the Gokturks together. After the Gokturks, though, either side could take the initiative. But it looks like Tuva probably will.

Reformer:

Brandenburg had a pretty fine part. They had a good time butchering the British Isles, even if they still don’t know how to attack the Anglo-Dutch mainland cities. They kept Turkey at bay, even taking a city off of the giant, but let’s be real here, that’s probably temporary. SURELY Turkey eventually kicks into gear and starts just slaughtering civs left and right. Or maybe the totality of war surrounding them is simply too overwhelming. Either way, in the meantime, Brandenburg can enjoy some success. Soon they will come in contact with an active conqueror to the south, but hey, that’s a concern for another day.

Emu:

Tuva finds itself in a strange position. They've blitzed over a shockingly small portion of empty Turkish lands, and they absolutely have to get a move on before the beast wakes up. Their tech is abysmal enough that the huge force disparity seems to have not been all that big an advantage. Who knows, maybe they'll be back in the black once enough of these garbage units go through the meat grinder. I mean, really? Tanks? in 2200? At least they’re looking evenly matched with Han.

CelestialDalek:

Fellow Timor fans, unfortunately it is not Timor Time and Gusamo does not look in a position to Timor over everyone in sight. They haven’t made use of their beachheads in Africa to fight Angola’s core, although they have taken Madagascar. They’re stalemating against Bengal and Kokang. The Inca look to have a heavy advantage in Oceania and have already stormed through New Zealand, taken Tasmania, and done damage to mainland Australian cities. But not all hope is lost. From the few images nearer the end of the episode, you can see that Inca’s naval force is lacking in some places, and this concentration could allow Timor to sneak through. Timor also looks like they have more land units, which could allow them to use Australia as a fortress and grind out the Inca. They also still have that African beachhead ready to go whenever. You have to remember that this is an AI game though, and the AI will probably not make rational decisions like these. Luckily, the same holds for the Inca. Timor is down, but they are certainly not out.

Reformer:

And here’s the big winner of the first turns of total war! All that carpeting pays off, and Mali basically knocks Angola out of the running, becomes the first civ to unite Iberia with a good shot towards the rest of Europe, and pads their stats quite comfortably altogether. Obviously, they’ve got a long way to go if they want to challenge the four giants (or is it three now?), but these are the exact moves they need to be keeping up if they want to have a shot. Unbridled aggression is needed in these dark times, and Sundiata Keita has it in spades.

Reformer:

Turkey had…an interesting episode. Most of their fronts barely moved: Against Afghanistan, one of Turkish cities got nuked; against Yemen, Turkey took one city but lost one city to nukes; Turkey had no success against Chad; Turkey took a city or two in the Mediterranean; to Brandenburg Turkey lost a city; and the front with Tuva did not move an inch. The other superpowers are waging plenty of war - even if of them, Timor is losing on every front - but Turkey seems content in maintaining the status quo where they can. Or, as is more likely, the multiple fronts are simply too much for the awfully thin Turkish army to handle. Without the tech advantage they have, these starting turns of total war could’ve looked an awful lot worse. Can they depend on that advantage forever? Obviously not. Could they at any point start churning out units like there’s no tomorrow? Obviously. Keep an eye out, the Turk is far from out.

Orange:

Pretty Nose pls don’t hurt Irataba ;-;

More seriously, Arapaho is in a fucking amazing position, still top on everything and are pushing into the Caribbean to wipe out America while consolidating the Greenlandish lands. Really their only issue comes from Mohave who has managed to fully hold out so far, but with the amount of nukes Pretty Nose has left and the much higher production capability, it likely won’t be that much longer before Arapaho has access to Mohave’s core of incredibly powerful cities. So pls don’t do that Pretty Nose, go fight in other directions.

Leman:

The Inca spend another week on top after clowning on Timor-Leste in New Zealand. It’s a pretty impressive showing, Inca has decisively shown that they are the strongest power in the Pacific and are slowly but surely pushing their way across the waves. They even made a very brief landfall on Australia this episode. Meanwhile, they’ve been steadily pushing on their South American rivals, Muisca and Kayapo as well. It’s not the lightning-fast conquests conducted by Arapaho, but slow and steady wins the race.