Power Rankings: Episode 41 – S3

Altima:

Ming survives to the end of the episode, but it’s thankfully likely that they won’t continue any further. Their biggest contribution on their resurrection is that they’ve caused minor Discourse among the PRs about whether they should have their rank changed (because they have survived a whole part, but they also spent several parts dead). Their only hope is that the Afghan Advance Assault Army gets annoyed arriving at Nanjing and just gives up, but as is, I’m pretty certain even just the three Biotroopers on the front can knock it over.

Cloudy:

Han survived this episode by the narrowest of margins, managing to make peace with Afghanistan and steer Durrani’s ire against the recently resurrected Ming instead. But mark my words, their days are numbered. With only one city and no military, it’s probably only a matter of time before someone takes them out... right?

Leman:

Gokturks are down to zero units and two disconnected cities and only live based on the grace and kindness of Arapaho. They are insanely lucky that Nexuses have been edited to not be able to capture cities and are completely taking advantage of that. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure that when the next war rolls around Arapaho will bring a boat or something over and kill them off. It’s only a matter of time.

Altima:

Let’s be direct here. Tuva’s fucked, but they’ll probably survive longer than their fellow fucked Asian civs Gok, Han, and Ming. They’ve got the smallest army of anyone who both has an army and isn’t Castille, and the Turks seem actually committed to the bit, so while it doesn’t seem super likely from the resources currently deployed that they’ll die next part, they’re definitely gonna eat what’s left of their teeth.

Emu:

All is going according to plan for Raoni. Now that he'd assembled the means to crack beyond those great mountains at the edge of the world and glimpse into the mythical submarine where no living man dwells.... A submarine. How about that. Nothing but an antiquated nuclear submarine. His people had moved past that sort of technology centuries ago, and yet the deepest secrets of this world, secrets that he could've only dreamed of tasting before today, all lay within an old rustbucket behind nothing but some mountains and a smattering of freezing Castilian line infantry. And yet it took this long. The Castilians, in their typical pre-industrial fashion, describe Babylonian protection as 'magic', but if there was one thing the Kayapans knew, it was that any sufficiently explained system of magic is indistinguishable from science. The mountains loom. It's time for the culmination of all man's scientific achievement to show what it can do. Whoever this 'gamerunner' is, they're going to have a lot of questions to answer.

Emu:

The Anglo-Dutch cling to life another part, and I'd wager Willy's only regret right now is that he won't be able to outlast Brandenburg. These guys are the epitome of skating on by, looking at a definite top 15 finish and an outside chance at the top 10 despite never having been ranked in the top half at all. After their whole game being defined by the looming threat of a flood of Brandy, any Anglo-Dutch fans have to be proud that they dodged the deluge long enough to go down with them.

Cloudy:

After several episodes in which they held on against the odds, Yemen might finally be in trouble. Even after total war ended, Turkey continued to wage war against them, pushing down off the Arabian peninsula and into Africa, threatening Yemen’s structural integrity in a way that no one did during total war. But how far will the Turkish invaders get? Yemen’s fate will depend on the answer to that question.

Emu:

Castile shoots up the rankings as the PRs are reminded that the Nexus can't capture cities. This leaves nothing but an air or submarine strike followed by an xcom (which civs don't really seem to have been building at all for some reason) as a means to kill Isabelle. No one's entirely sure where this leaves them, but the working consensus is to just put them immediately under the last civ with a chance of winning. Honestly, this was a really funny move at first, but it's starting to wear thin at this point.

JDT:

Brandenburg is the definition of the college kid who is mid at everything they do but was bankrolled by insanely rich parents. They have failed in every major war aside from their conquest of the Anglo-Norse, they lost their capital to the Anglo-Dutch, and only now are they dying and doomed. Even then, their ample holdings in Scandinavia and Great Britain will prevent the inevitable from happening for a while longer, especially since their only real threat is Turkey and they’re very overextended. Sorry Brandenbros, Willy is doomed to do nothing but jack his willy until Ataturk rams him in the pole.

JDT:

The Mohave move down by one as it's clear that they are completely exhausted. Japan, while holding, is slowly being lost to the Arapaho and Timor. The Tarim Basin, their new power base and core, is out of units, and while their neighbours don’t have too much either Afghanistan is slowly pushing back and the Turks have also arrived on the scene. Their production isn’t very good at this rate either. But let it be known - goddamn was that an incredible comeback. Not many civs can use the Chekov’s gun of two highly isolated cities halfway across the world as an impetus for something of a comeback, including almost taking the capital of Tuva from Turkey and demolishing the Han. From 52nd to a top tier, the Mohave truly are survivors.

Cloudy:

With the first round of total war at an end, we can finally say that Mali held its ground. Sundiata Keita comes out with a massive net gain of territory, and even though he lost a couple of his captures to Turkey and Timor, he could have lost a lot more. Still, the climb for Mali will be steep, and when total war returns, they had better hope that they used this period of peace to prepare.

Leman:

Afghanistan can write off Total War as a complete and utter victory. Bengal was destroyed and annexed. That was expected. However, I don’t think anyone really expected Afghanistan to be taking cities off of Han and Tuva. Afghanistan’s strange Asian land empire stretches from Iran through China, into the Siberian wastes with long borders that I don’t think anyone could have predicted when Total War started 65 turns ago. Afghanistan’s is still quite a bit smaller than the Elite Four, and is especially lacking production, but they have more than enough time to beef that production stat up by integrating all their conquests. Here’s hoping that Afghanistan will impress again when Total War II comes around.

Orange:

Arapaho are facing some stumbling right now, mainly from the Inca. The Inca are pushing back against Arapaho both in Mexico and the Caribbean, wiping out their southern expansion and really putting into question if Arapaho has what it takes. They’ve been on top of stats for a while and yet Inca sliced through their south like butter. Though to be fair, they did make peace, but how long will it last before Tupac decides he wants to take the rest of Arapaho’s south? Arapaho better hope they can put their production into high gear or else they are going to continue to struggle here, and give Inca both continents. The production bug is probably hitting them one of the worst, since they have 30k+ production and Inca only has 22k, though tbf no civ is really producing units so…

Emu:

Timmy cools it with the resurrections, and they also cool it with the making any progress at all on any front whatsoever. They're still undeniably very strong, but the fact is Ataturk was in motion this part and Xanana wasn't. As exemplified by their inability to even take out the mingster they created, this pause in TW was definitely sorely needed to relieve their exhaustion. At this point the move for them is just to swallow up Yemen and rebuild.

Orange:

The Inca make a lot of peace in this part, with Timor-Leste, Arapaho, and Kayapo. Though sadly for me, I really was hoping they would take out those remaining Kayapo cities, perhaps they can redeclare that war soon… But for now, they are back to climbing, showing they are one of the strongest civs and that they have what it takes to go all the way. Maybe if they can unite the Americas quickly they can invade West Africa, and start pushing east.

Leman:

Ataturk is back and reminds everyone that he is still an absolute monster. Turkey becomes the first civilization to cross 100 cities as Tuva crumbles under Turkey’s unstoppable armies. Honestly, this was expected, Tuva has been all out of gas for a while now, but the sheer mass of cities has taken Turkey a little while to chew through. It should be noted that Turkey has not declared peace with Tuva (or Yemen), like it has with most other civilizations, so expect Turkey to clean up Tuva and have a land border with Arapaho in a few short turns.