Power Rankings: Episode 42 – S3

Release Date:

August 28, 2023

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Power-Rankers

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Power Rankings! The Fog continues to approach!

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Tuva

1 / 0

1: Tuva

Cloudy:

With the elimination of Tuva, another former #1 power is out of the game before its time. Tuva was a dominant player for much of the season, achieving first place in episodes 8-14, 17-18, 20-21, and 24, which still leaves them tied with Turkey as the civ that spent the longest on top of the power rankings. To finish in 15th, then, is a big disappointment—albeit not that far off from the 11th place finish we predicted in episode 0.

Tuva played well for most of the game, expanding quickly, helping to cripple Qocho, and seizing large swathes of land in Siberia through the early episodes. Their sheer size caused them to float to the top, and they were already ranked 1st when they launched they landed a heavy blow on the formerly number one Permians, seizing several cities off the civ that had been ranked number two. They later came back to finish the job in a joint war with Turkey, which netted them a fair bit of additional land, and further expansion followed during a war against Lithuania. But by the time Total War came around, it was clear Tuva had peaked: although they had a large carpet of units, their economy had collapsed and they fell far behind Turkey in tech, allowing the Turks to steamroll through their territory from one end to another—food for the civ that has eclipsed Tuva’s once solid position as the game’s greatest land power.

1: Tuva

Cloudy:

2: Han

Emu:

Han is still alive. I mean, not for long, but they did outlast Ming's resurrection. So there's that. They also have no military. So uh. See you next week for the eulogy. Hey, at least they’re below Castile where they belong. Wait, this just in, they’re actually dead and it wasn’t a significant enough event for me to remember. So, Han, right? Honestly? Probably one of the blander great powers this game. That’s not deriding them, the competition has been stiff as all hell this time around, but they were kind of only ever a power by virtue of being ‘the Chinese civ that won’. Kind of like a not egregiously awful Wiradjuri. Anyway, their cause of death was the same thing that plagued them all game: critical lack of units. Rest in Afghanistan.

3: Gokturks

Rosay:

How the hell did the Gokturks survive the total war? Literally all of their neighbors had the ability to wipe them out and they somehow still managed to live after attrition finally set in. Oh well good luck to you guys once total war resumes.

4: Anglo-Dutch

Rosay:

To be honest, Anglo-Dutch are probably going to be the biggest loser once total war resumes, but my point stands of WHO THE HELL THOUGHT THEY’D LIVE THIS LONG. There really is not much else to say about them at this point in all honesty except yeah they're dead on total war.

5: Castile

Cloudy:

Castile is still alive, this is not a drill.

6: Kayapo

Orange:

I’m just gonna say it: Castile should be ahead of Kayapo. They got four cities that can be easily taken compared to Castile’s impenetrable fortress. There is no reason to put Kayapo ahead of Castile except for Castile hate for being the best civ. Anyways, Kayapo is on a dead end dive and the next time the Inca decide to come knocking they’ll be gone in seconds.

7: Yemen

Orange:

Similar to Kayapo, Yemen should also not be above Castile. Though it’s more understandable here as they have 10 cities, but still. They are being actively invaded by the behemoth that is Turkey and is a major contender for dying next part if Turkey can keep their momentum up. So, don’t count Yemen out quite yet, but like, still count them out a little bit.

8: Brandenburg

CelestialDalek:

Brandenburg is not in an enviable position: they have lost most of their core and they border Turkey, and Ataturk could squash the entire empire of Brandenburg underfoot like a bug (assuming the AI remembered to bring troops to Britain). At least the Anglo-Dutch are in an even less enviable position, but knowing how the Anglo-Dutch are they’re probably going to take the entirety of Britain in a war against all odds. There isn’t any realistic path forward to Brandenburg winning, but at least they are still alive.

9: Mohave

Leman:

Well, that was short-lived. The Avi Mota Empire has been washed away as suddenly as it arrived on the scene, crushed by Afghanistan in the blink of an eye. A catastrophic loss for Mohave that only seemed to get worse as the episode dragged on. Korea fell, and Afghanistan managed to make landfall on Japan. Then, all of a sudden, Mohave made an incredible comeback! Afghan forces in Korea completely collapsed and now Mohave is actually pushing into Korea. Mohave has proven to be such a scrappy and resilient civ and unsurprisingly earned themselves many fans.

10: Mali

Leman:

Mali ends Total War as one of the winners. They aren’t in a dominant position, like any of the Elite Four or Afghanistan, but Mali has risen from a medium B tier civilization to the final African civilization on the cylinder, and one of two low-tech civilizations that ended Total War intact. This is an incredible opportunity! Total War was ending up a massive grind for Mali, and a grind that they were going to lose - they were down twenty techs worth of production and unit advancement that they were never going to hold long term against Timor-Leste and Turkey. However, now that they have some time, Mali has a window where they can tech up, beef up their economy, build some advanced units and rival both Elite Four members in a few episodes.

11: Afghanistan

Emu:

Afghanistan proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that they deserve a place among the great powers, and they come just one vote short of claiming their rightful place in the Elite 4. They are, without question, the single biggest winners of TW. From a game of chronic sleepiness to suddenly commanding the biggest concentrated forces on the cylinder, huge swathes of good, productive territory, and a general feistiness that can stand up to any power in the game, they've just absolutely smashed all expectations. Kind of like Arapaho, right down to the unappealing colorscheme, except they haven't committed the cardinal sin of destroying literally every single civ I liked on their continent.

12: Arapaho

Altima:

Arapaho sits stagnant at 4th, with incredible stats, a whole continent to themselves, and little else to show for it. As other powers like Turkey consolidate upon incredible gains, the inability of Arapaho to decisively make a good foothold in Asia makes a stark blemish that holds their esteem back in the eyes of some rankers. Not a lot to say for them in our current age of peace, but when the reboot comes around, they’ll be in an interesting position, with their minor foothold on Asia giving them options should their rebooted AI be more… aggressive.

13: Inca

JDT:

The Inca drop by one. Why? I put them below Afghanistan. And why did I put them behind Afghanistan? It’s simple - they haven’t been able to maneuver much at all. Sure, they have the power of South America by their side, and the Arapaho are inept in spite of their great power, but they are just ever so slightly not enough. While Afghanistan and Turkey are making good gains all around, the Inca are squished between great powers sans a potential assault on Mali, deadlocked all around the world and just never having the upper hand. And their stats are the worst amongst the top contenders, with only Afghanistan being lower. Bottom line - the Kingdom of the Sun may have hit an eclipse

14: Timor

JDT:

And taking the Inca’s spot at second is Timor-Leste! Timor has retained their activity and relatively vulnerable neighbours, allowing for potential pushes when coupled with their strong military, second largest in the world. However, stats-wise, they lag behind on key stats which are not military, having noticeably less production than Arapaho and Turkey and yet still battling on. Lets also speculate about a potential stumbling stone - Cycle 2. Due to the game being so unstable that the AIs literally can’t do anything anymore, we will need a cycle 2. Timor’s run this game was the most insane fluke we have ever seen in AI game history. Though a good deal of Timor’s problems stem from their start, and cycle 2 would give them good resources to approximate their previous position, they may not have the same ruthless AI and the perfect religion that carried them to this position. Will they stay winning? Only God knows.

15: Turkey

Altima:

Turks still number one, because at the end of the day they have more raw statage than everyone else and a good enough position to theoretically take advantage of it if the AI should decide to do so. The absurd back and forth of the Yemen front is a blemish, but hey, no-one’s unblemished right now.

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