Power Rankings: Episode 19 – S4

ECH:

Is there any more quintessentially CBR a sight than this piteous wreck? A leader, once grand in stature, overlord of a thousand farms and a million men reduced to the commander of a single Arctic garrison, coldly awaiting the day his foes gather the strength in these ice-strewn waters to overwhelm the advantage this barren solitude provides and finally take his crown. Many civs have seen similar plights, even in this season already, and I suspect many more will experience it posthence. Godspeed, your many sacrifices upon the altar of our petty entertainment.

Msurdej:  

The Mamluks don’t have the final spot this week, mostly because Kazakhstan is down to its final city. It won’t be enough to save Shajar though, her fate is sealed. It’s just a matter of who will finish her off.

Nathanmasse:

It’s rather quaint, isn’t it?  Their cities and units are essentially unchanged since episode 3 which isn’t exactly a good strategy for staying alive, let alone winning.  The only saving grace is being landlocked by Ndongo and Eswatini, so as long as those two stay on good terms they will keep hanging around.

Msurdej:  

Dai Viet continues to get pulled apart, growing weaker by the part. They were barely holding onto their capital in this part, and could still lose it in the next part. That being said, they somehow have the most social policies, tied with Siam and Goguryeo. Maybe ya should’ve focused on military matters than social policies Tran.

Shaggy:

We’ve dropped Royal Hungary 2 places

For their neighbors are off to the races

Taking Bathory’s land

Could it be their last stand?

I don’t know, but people make cases.

Orange:

Florida actually got mentioned three separate times this part, but I don’t think they did anything to deserve those mentions being elaborated on or any sort of in-depth analysis of their position, probably because there isn’t any analysis I can make. This write-up is following in the ways of MacGregor: It’s a scam!

JDT: The Alaouites go up by 3 as they are no longer existentially threatened and Dai Viet and Royal Hungary collapse further. Additionally, as a silver lining, their stats are going up across the board, finally seeing some reversal to the free fall they had been undergoing after Thomas Peters decked them. What a fall from grace though. Remember when we thought the Kasbah could be a game-changing unique? Now it’s just a funny little UI that we will see a bit of, a reminder of the squandered potential of the Alaouite dynasty.

Shaggy

Here Burgundy stays static

At 51, it’s almost automatic

Though they’re being chomped on

They haven’t lost Dijon

And the English are being emphatic

Nathanmasse:

When I look at the Kalmyks I get a little sad thinking of what might have been, but when the Kalmyks look in the mirror it’s all smiles because these people are so damn happy.  No kidding.  They’re at 101 happiness thanks to their religion spreading far and wide, which is just about the only thing they still have going for them.   They have no vast empire or sprawling military; instead, they speak with the voice of god.  With a word, Ayuka Khan could plunge the combined might of Bukhara, Kazan, Makhnovia, Pontus, Afsharids, and Dzungars into war with just about anyone, which makes them one of the more interesting civs on the bottom end of the ranks.

Cloudy:

Well, folks, it might be Tehuolver. With Tiwanaku and New Holland suddenly remembering that Tehuelche exists, two of South America’s top powers are knocking at their door, and in fact New Holland has already captured two island cities. If Bora-Bora got involved, we’d be seriously considering the possibility of elimination. As is, I think they’ll survive, but they’ll never be the same again. I would be shocked if they weren’t reduced to a rump after this. So uh, RIP my 150,000 Tehuelche stonks.

NopeCopter:

Welp, at least the Crow tried to make some gains! The war against the Yellowknives was a great idea in theory, and to their credit, the Crow put in some work. Unfortunately, their allies were decidedly incompetent and the Thule peaced out immediately, forcing the Crow to sue for peace before the tides turned against them. At the very least they didn’t give up any cities in the peace deal, I guess, but the unfortunate reality is that this was probably the Crow’s best bet to climb back to semi-relevance. Oh well, back to the Boring Buffer State Club with ye.

JDT: I’ll be blunt with you, I narrated this part and even I don’t know what the Seneca did to deserve going up. As masters of entropy, they’re so capable of inflicting everyone around them with entropy that I’m just gonna stop my writeup right-

Cloudy:

The Finns weren’t mentioned this episode, which is pretty good if you’re Kirmukarmu. However, if you’re a fan of the Finns, then my condolences.

Msurdej:  

Harappa’s bleeding has stymied for now, but they still have a bad time going on. They’re officially in turtle mode, having little to no option besides hiding behind their Great Wall. That Wall will stop being useful defensively at some point though, it only remains to be seen whether or not Harappa survives to that point.

ECH:

It’s never pleasant to shoot down the hopes of personal favorites, especially when they’re so broadly supported from what I can sense, but like, really, where can Bukhara go from here? Having 6 cities seems miraculous in the first place. Outside of a wondrously lucky coalition war against one of their less dominant neighbors, such as the Afsharids or maybe Dzungars, where they’re able to be swept along by a higher power and snipe enough cities to rebuild their stats and forces, it feels like what we’re witnessing right now is the fragile plateau of the Bukharans.

Orange:

Daji just twiddling her thumbs waiting for all of her cities to get out of resistance so she can sacrifice more citizens I mean so she can actually build things for once in a few parts.

Shaggy:

A drop of 3 ranks for Makhno

As Latvia gave them a whack, yo

They'll need to recover

Before their neighbors discover

With an army so small they're all talk, bro

Shaggy:

Eswatini is here at a standstill

Against Mog, it's a bit of a treadmill

Though they are treading water

“3 more ranks,” says the blotter

Based on what? Maybe the PRs goodwill

Shaggy

The Khoshuts move up by 3 now

I don’t know why, just somehow

For Thanh Dong isn’t captured

Though the borders’d be fractured

If that happened (can this one be over now?)

Orange:

Okay, think about how funny it would be if Taino can jump on Mexico and take cities, like wouldn’t that just be the best? Like, they won’t do that. And if they did they would probably fail (though they are now researching exploration, a tech Mexico has had for a while now, which will even the naval field). And ignore that they have -21 happiness somehow. But like, imagine if they did take cities off Mexico. I’m just gonna keep imagining that and ignoring whatever they actually do, I think it’s better that way.

ECH:

Apologies if you dislike these kinds of PR slides, but truly, what can I say here from zero mentions, no substantial changes to their stats, and a bunch of half-shots of their empire? They have a neat carpet, I guess?

Nathanmasse:

Mogadishu had a nice quiet episode.  They were able to capitalize on reaching Astronomy before most of their neighbors by settling two new island cities.  In other news, they got citadeled by Saba D’mt which isn’t good but also isn’t necessarily a sign of impending doom.  We’ll just have to wait to see if these far-flung colonies become their last refuge.

JDT:

Well, I’d be damned. I don’t think I’ve seen a civ fumble taking a single city this hard since… I guess Brandenburg? Or maybe Jerusalem. All I know is that the Visigoths drop 4 as they remain in the awkward position of being statistically strong but positionally weak. And while it shouldn’t really be that hard to break their positional failure, they have failed 4 times over to take Asturica or Nancy and then worm their way up north in spite of overwhelming numerical advantage. And it’s all self-inflicted! They gave away Asturica for nothing very early in the game! This is 2000s Rockets or current Los Angeles Dodgers levels of choke! It's utterly absurd! They literally are Tracy McGrady! I think enough's enough - no matter how good their stats are they don’t contribute to winning, and they shall only continue to get lower from here on out.

Shaggy:

Kanem-Bornu doesn't nicely fit meter

So this limerick is a bit of a beater

Without many mentions

Summaries need inventions

For their units ain't moving a meter (it's a different use of the word, sue me)

ECH:

In Treue Fest! Glory to Bavaria and its king as they rectify the barbarity of the past and reclaim what is rightfully theirs, the city of Regensburg! Surely everything else must be going great now… oh dear. OK, that’s a bit unfair, in my view and the view of a number of other PR’s, these various other war declarations on Bavaria (Rome, Latvia, England) are fluff. Theoretically, they’re terrifying, especially taken together, but Rome has barely any land troops in Italy (and Bavaria has a decent garrison); England has a Burgundy in the way they’re fighting right now and has proven mixed at invading anyway; and Latvia, although the biggest threat of these three, still looks a bit hesitant to commit. Now perhaps any or all of these theaters will energize and we’ll look like chumps as Bavaria is rumped or something along those lines, but for the meantime, we’re fairly confident that’s not the case. What these wars probably do mean is a sharp reduction in the likelihood of Ludwig storming down RH’s capital, as attention will be divided, especially to the Latvian border just north of those troops. Still, for now, I think we can focus on the positives, and give Bavaria applause for regaining a city lost so long ago.

ECH:

Speaking of Bavaria’s new war foes, heeere’s England! And boy, they sure are fond of those Longbows. Then again, who isn’t? As a reminder, like the vanilla England Longbows, these bad boys have +1 range, but also gain a +20% buff against melee units, in return for lower defensive strength (but then again, if you’re putting these guys on the frontline aren’t you doing something wrong?). Now, they haven’t really made any progress against Burgundy’s cities yet, and there’s certainly a risk of a frustrating peace any turn, especially now Henry may be factoring in Bavaria’s proximity, but from what we’ve seen the English UU’s do seem to be very efficiently clearing Burgundy of it’s carpet, slaughtering troops with the Longbows while their Chevauchée’s prevent the cities from rebuilding units. Will Henry finally move his frontline up, focus fire on Autun, and conquer Central France this time? We can only hope so…

Nathanmasse:

I want to like Nivkh.  Stuck in the tundra between Goguryeo on one side and Thule on the other, they have a certain underdog quality that just feels good rooting for.  They did manage to gain 5 techs this episode (useful ones at that) compared to 3 for Thule and just 2 for Ikko-Ikki and Goguryeo, which is nothing to sneeze at.  It’ll take more than that to turn their situation around however, but at least they seem to be friendly with their neighbors and don’t look to be in any real danger for the time being.

NopeCopter:

The Osage rank goes nowhere because their war hasn’t either. The Seneca are proving as stubborn as ever, and it doesn’t seem likely that the Osage will be making any gains here, but who knows - there’s plenty of time for things to change as the Seneca military gets thinned out a bit. On the plus side, the Pueblo are distracted with an ill-fated war against the Yellowknives right now, so at the very least they probably don’t need to worry about an existentially-threatening invasion for the time being (unless you count the war with Florida, which could spell doom at any moment I swear).

Orange:

So the only shot off Ecuador we got this part was them having turned around Mexico’s initial push and the start of a siege of San Luis Potosi. Issue being using knights and comp bows to attack a 39-strength city… They really need to get those catapults, or better upgrade them to trebuchets first, into range so they can actually have a chance of this war having any positives.

NopeCopter:

Vijayanagara’s shocking underdog run continues as they genuinely threaten the Afsharid core with naval harassment tactics. While unlikely to take (much less keep) any cities, this is still a massive show of force and a very fun bit of action for a civ many people wrote off… that said, it sure would be nice if they put that navy to use against someone they could actually secure more cities off of, especially with Singapore looking scarier than ever.

Msurdej:Pontus was practically a no-show in this part, only appearing in the fringes of panels where more exciting things happened. This doesn’t bode well for their chances, as passiveness rarely does a civ well. However, if Mithridates can build up his southern defense, then go on the offense on a weak Royal Hungary or distracted Rome, it could be the move that puts them back in this game as... well maybe not a top 10 civ, but probably a top 20.

Leman:

Well, that sucks. War with Goguryeo was the exact worst thing that could have happened to Mongolia. Goguryeo eclipses Mongolia in every single way. Luckily, it seems as though Mongolia is holding the line well, but they are going to need peace fast. The longer this goes on the worse it's going to get for Mongolia and the harder it will be going forward. We need a quick peace treaty, a quick rebuild, and it’s time for round two against Shang.

Cloudy:

Well, well, what can I say, this was not a good part for Siam. Being simultaneously at war with Zheng, Singapore, and the Khoshuts is a disastrous position to be in, and it would be a miracle if they didn’t lose at least one city. Singapore’s ships will make short work of their colonies in the Andaman Islands, and while it’s anyone’s guess if they’ll make it farther when you’re at war with that many different neighbors, anything can happen (and by anything, I mean anything bad).

Msurdej:  

Kennyo has a small rise in the rankings, but it’s mostly statistical noise and others failing. The war with Shang continues to go nowhere, and the odds of Anyang falling to the Ikko Ikki are slim to none. With the Pueblo distracted, maybe now is a good time to go for Kha’po Owingeh. But any moves they make must be cautious ones, for Goguryeo is still a threat. But with Goguryeo busy fighting Mongolia, maybe Kennyo can make a move...

ECH:

The perspectives around Ndongo this episode generally revolved around what didn’t happen far more than what did, as the war with temporary-juggernaut Saba fades out with an ignoble peace. I won’t speculate on what exactly Saba spent their production on, that’s for another PR, but on the Ndongo side things seem to be going fairly swell, if sluggish. They have a fine carpet and have returned to the pre-war status quo of ‘probably should declare on Rozvi ASAP’, same as it ever was, and thus the 4 rank jump is a reappraisal back towards their previous height. I will note how sad the deforestation of Central Africa is to see, especially when Ana seems disinterested in even developing the newly bare land.

ECH:

Well, the Palawa-Noongar cycle has run its course again: Palawa attacks with an advantage on paper, makes an assault by land and sea, gets beaten back, Noongar remarkably turns the tide and looks like it’ll invade the Palawa core by land, only to fade away amidst Palawa naval harassment, and the two peace out somewhat ashamedly. I’d genuinely put money on seeing this cycle repeat at least once more. But hey, there’s other stuff going on as well, as Yagan has also co-instigated the grand Wahgi War! By themselves, their hopes are pretty limited: while Noongar isn’t necessarily behind in tech, Wahgi is ahead, and their reserves on Top End should do more than enough to rebuff assaults, or even push back. Navally, Wahgi would usually be able to crush Noongar pretty easily too. However, with the context of Zheng also pushing in, all these potentials fall to uncertainty, and we’ll just have to see how events shake out in the next episode.

NopeCopter:

Kazan continues to grow, knocking Kazakhstan down to one tiny city, but Latvia’s continued successes and the cementing of the Selkups as a major world power still put this plucky civ on the back foot. They’re almost out of new expansion opportunities, barring a coalition war of course… maybe it’s about time to get revenge on the Kalmyks? Either way, barring a coalition war, Kazan probably won’t be going anywhere any time soon - it’s just a matter of whether they can continue to be an active player instead of just a boring buffer state from here on out.

Leman:

I truly don’t know if Dzungars did anything this episode. I don’t know if they did anything last episode. I’ve decided that from now on I’m boycotting Dzungar writeups until they do literally anything.

Leman:

Rome continues being a fun scrappy civ, as it seems they’ve locked down Gyor, which I wasn’t really confident they could do. There doesn’t really seem much potential for much of an inland push at the moment though. Rome has also started a war against Bavaria, meaning Rome is now at war with the entirety of continental Europe (well, just Royal Hungary, Bavaria, and Burgundy). Rome doesn’t have much of a land army, but if they can capture Ingolstadt from Bavaria then there is absolutely a shot that Rome might be able to push further into the heart of Europe. I’m a little skeptical but I didn’t think Rome could get Gyor. I could be wrong again.

Leman:

Afsharids completes tumbling down the rankings. This Vijayanagara war turned out to be a complete disaster. They lost a city to Vijayanagara last episode, they were so distracted that they lost another city to Selkups this episode, and now, it kind of looks like they might lose another to Vijayanagara. What an absolute shit show. Their stats are bad, with decent production and mediocre anything else. It’s not unrecoverable but oof.

NopeCopter:

Sierra Leone continues to look more and more terrifying as their military expands and their stats improve… but they still haven’t pulled the trigger and declared war on Kanem-Bornu or Rome. The suspense is killing me here, it’s not really a matter of if Sierra Leone will declare war on a neighbor and run them over, only when.

Nathanmasse:

Mexico’s war with Ecuador drags on with little to show for it on either side.  There was never much hope of Mexico pushing inland but at least Mexico has enough strategic depth that they have the chance of getting a city in whatever peace deal is struck. Even still, a surprise declaration by New Holland or even Taino could roll up the line of island/coastal cities so these Caribbean holdings are far from secure.  

Nathanmasse:

Ume-Sami drops a few ranks this week which is more of a correction from their rise last week than a result of anything in-game. Their stats are still pretty good, but continued inaction and the rising prospects of other civs—in particular Latvia right next door—have renewed discussion of whether Ume really has what it takes to remain relevant.

ECH:

There’s an element of schoolyard rivalry in the Tiwanaku-New Holland relationship, with us cast in the role of the bickering gossipmongers. ‘A one-rank upgrade? That’s sweet Huyustus, but that stud Johan over there got an 8 rank jump, so come back when you’re a lil bit, mmmm, better?’ Mayhaps we ought to have seen this coming. It’s been common knowledge for a long while that Tehuelche was a sitting duck amongst some big hunters and that whichever power declared on them first would reap major rewards and greatly expand their share of South America as a power base. However, we failed to keep up with the reality of Tiwanaku’s access: they have barely any actual land access to Maria’s borders, and it’s only through an enclave city thanks to Bora Bora expansion, and while they do have a Navigation-era navy, with only 1.5 coastal cities they have no production to roll it out with. Meanwhile, New Holland has already captured the South Atlantic with a nasty armada and looks set to go straight for Tehuelche’s capital, albeit with flipping ensured. Now, outside this war they seem to be doing fine, rising 6 infoaddict ranks from rebuilding, but their science is low for their tier of civ and when you’re already on the losing edge, having handed over a city to your key rival, you need a bit more than fine to regain full status.

Cloudy:

Singapore reaches a stunning new highest-ever ranking, breaking into the top 15, on the assumption that they will capture at least a couple of cities from Siam. Overall, Siam is unprepared, with an outdated navy that won’t stand up to Singapore’s frigates. Singapore also has superior production and better military tech, so there’s little doubt about who’s favored here. Mark my words, Lee Kuan Yew will expand his benevolent dictatorship at the end of a gun.

Shaggy

Here Bora-Bora drops a rank

Though I think we have stats to thank

For the small change of standing

Their hammers ain’t outstanding

BORABORABORABORABORABORA

Shaggy:

A war with the Knives now for Thule

Their borders have gotten unruly

Clearing Arctic outcroppings

(They're the cylinder's toppings!)

Might win them some fans, truly

Shaggy:

In the ranks, Wahgi's top 10 tumbles

Against Zheng, their navy just bumbles

Wish they'll put up a fight

If their future is bright

Elsewise hope for their dreams crumbles

Leman:

Latvia leaps into the top ten for the first time ever, and the biggest reason for that is just raw stats. Latvia’s stats are fantastic all across the board with the highlight being their food, which is third in the whole cylinder behind Wahgi, Goguryeo, and Faroe Islands. They also managed to finish that weird, grindy, war with Makhnovia, were given their city back, and now can focus all their efforts against Bavaria. Yeah, that’s not really going anywhere, but who knows? Maybe Latvia can put all these stats to good use there.

Shaggy:

With a navy as big as Palawa

Their waves much like Kanagawa

If they'd exert their will

'Round the Pacific, they'd instill

More annoyance than a chihuahua

Leman:

Saba’s golden age and war with Ndongo ends and I’ve gotta say, I’m disappointed. I expected a lot more given the gargantuan stats. Instead, it seems that Saba ends their golden age without much tangible gains other than a decent stat boost and temporary glory. Saba is not hemorrhaging food and will be starving for the majority of the next part – their current food income can support 199 population and they have 241. At least their stats are still good and their neighbors are still all bad, so they definitely have things going for them. I’ll reserve final judgment for when they stabilize their population but for now, all I can say is that I’m not impressed at all.

ECH:

It was Lenin who stated ‘there are episodes where nothing happens, and there are turns where episodes happen’... or something like that, anyway. Well, for Akaitcho, episodes worth of events fell into his lap this time, and boy did he respond to the call well! The jump of just one rank may not communicate it, but this felt like a transformational episode for Yellowknive’s reputation, as just about every neighboring threat they could have faced was thrown at them and effortlessly rebuked, with an assortment of ill-advised colonies taken for good measure. If we once thought Yellowknives were a dinner-in-waiting for Pueblo or Thule, that’s certainly been shot down, and we now broadly agree that they have the better of Thule for now. At the same time, their stats have been consistently booming, with the critical element of tech growth not being undervalued. Just this episode, they’ve joined the early adopter list for Gunpowder - grabbing access to the Kwik’ìì doò Musketman UU which has +1 Movement and gains 5 HP when beginning its turn on a tile with a resource, neat - and has even become the third civ to start researching Chemistry and it’s cannons! A wonderful part for Akaitcho, all in all!

Orange:

Puebros… Po’pay look that part just wasn’t great for you, I get it. But you have the path forward right in front of you, just attack Osage. Any time soon and you will be in such a good position. So please do it. Don’t fight the Yellowknives, if you want to go north fight Crow, then Yellowknives so you can actually launch a direct attack. Please, you can pop off so hard. Do it for me.

Leman:

Johan heard that you guys thought he was washed and took that personally. New Holland has been improving its stats steadily for a few episodes now, but it was this last episode where New Holland really came online. Their production increased by a whopping 73.5% (thanks Workshops), they picked up four cities (two from Tehuelche, and two from the aether as far as I can tell), and had a sizeable increase in food and population. New Holland is now clearly the top dog in South America and a full-on monster. It’s even scarier than when they were up here, because back then Tiwanaku was at full strength, and now Tiwanaku’s recovery has been considerably slower than New Holland’s. Not quite sure what will stop them in the near term. Expect New Holland to rise further if they can manage to pick up any mainland Tehuelche cities too.

Leman:

Zheng joins the top five for the first time with no signs of slowing down. Their frigate fleet is terrorizing Austronesia and Southeast Asia, slowly grinding Dai Viet to dust and launching a powerful surprise attack on Wahgi. It’s hard to underestimate how much better frigates are than galleasses and carracks. They are so much stronger, faster, and more maneuverable because they can cross the ocean. Not only are they doing damage, but Zheng can get them to the front lines way faster than opponents can reinforce. Zheng, as one of the first researchers of Navigation, is enjoying a terrifying powerspike thanks to this insane unit. The sky’s the limit for Zheng right now, let’s see what else they can do.

Shaggy

The Selkups are solidly third

As they were before, not absurd

They continue their gains

With Elista in chains

And some warmonger penalties incurred

Leman:

Goguryeo holds steady at second with a somewhat unexciting, but still solid episode. Goguryeo is the strongest civ with no happiness issues, has eclipsed Faroes in production and effective science but lags in population, techs, military, and cities, which puts them in a close second place. This has the potential to change of course. Goguryeo has begun a war with Mongolia, which, in all honesty, should be a complete stomp, but is looking a little bit like it's grinding a little more than what I would expect. If Goguryeo can break through the front lines and manage to pick up a city or two, I expect Gwanggaeto to reclaim the top spot in no time.

Cloudy:

The only notable thing the Faroes did this episode was settle a city in Northern Ireland. Also, they have an absolutely hilarious -27 happiness, which is affecting their stats to the point that Goguryeo has overtaken them on the info sheet. We haven’t decided to change their rank for now, but if it takes them too long to get their happiness up, there could be ramifications.