Power Rankings: Episode 22 – S4

Leman:

Well, Harappa is dead. They’re so dead. It’s so bad. Did you see that slide? They have six units and I’m pretty sure half of them die to a single Knight attack. Harappa, the city, is at half health, every other city is completely surrounded. They’re so dead. The only question left is how many cities are Afsharids getting and how many are Khoshuts getting? I’m guessing one for Afsharids, three for Khoshuts. And none for Bukhara, because Bukhara sucks.

Nathanmasse:

Things are looking grim for Dai Viet.  Their capital is gone for good this time and Zheng’s troops are battering at the gates of Bac Giang. Their only hope is for the threat posed by Ikko-Ikki and Wahgi to draw enough units away that the siege fails.  

Cloudy:

Well, folks, it looks like it’s the beginning of the end of Ismail ibn Sharif. Sierra Leone has declared war, and mountains can only do so much to protect them when they’re trying to defend against muskets with composite bowmen and swordsmen. Our consensus is that elimination is very likely on the cards, but probably not before Harappa and Dai Viet. We’ll see whether we’re right about that.

Leman:

Crow is also dead. Less dead than Dai Viet and Harappa, but still dead. It’s not quite as apparent looking at the slides, but looking at the stats, it’s pretty clear that Crow have been ripped to shreds this episode. They lost over half their meager military, lost a quarter of their production, all of their cities are starving. Really the only reason they aren’t last is because Harappa and Dai Viet are somehow even more screwed and because it might be hard to take Baaxawuaashaliiko, the Crow city in Michigan. Like Harappa, the only real question is how many cities are Yellowknives getting and how many are Osage getting? I’m guessing three for Yellowknives and one for Osage, but Osage takes three episodes to take Baaxaquaashaliiko.

Msurdej:  

The Mamluks get their highest rank since episode 3, all due to the failures of other civs. This isn’t because of their strength or tenacity, but because nobody has gotten around to crushing them yet. They’ll probably rise a few more spots due to this before dying, so if you want a safe spot to put your stocks that’ll go up, here’s a spot.

Rosay:

Kazakhstan got a huge bump this part, entirely due to the fall of so many other civs. Don’t let the statistical noise fool you though Kazakhstan is still rump-tier.

Cloudy:

Gregor MacGregor rises several ranks due to some well-timed insurance fraud, orchestrating the destruction of the original St. Augustine that he had already sold to multiple civs, followed by resettlement of the city with all new buildings, their deeds in Floridian hands. I swear this man is a genius.

Rosay:

Welp England took the majority of that Burgundussy after all, leaving Burgundy a shadow of its former self. Given that Burgundy is now all but stuck in the alps, I feel like Burgundy is going to be a long term resident of the rump town for a while until the newly found tech gap makes their survival impossible. Either that or they become mountain Belgium.

Shaggy:

If someone could tell me why Royal Hungary is rising 4 ranks after doing nothing but get citadelled by Latvia this episode, that'd be great.

NopeCopter:

No real changes for the Kalmyks, aside from Makhnovia getting owned, but the fall of several other civs means they get to go up three spots. Given their borders mean it’ll be hard for any one civ to kill them off in a single war even now, they could easily gain a few more spots before they die, too. Progress!

Leman:

Makhnovia is being weird. They spent most of the episode waiting for Pontus to let them turn their cities back on, (Pontus used their UA to put all of Makhnovia’s cities into resistance). Then Makhnovia decided to take its army and move it all to Aleksandrovsk, instead of defending Ekaterinoslav.  We have no idea why they thought this was a good idea? It makes no sense, and it actively lost them a city. Kassa is wide open too so it might have even lost them two cities. Wild choices from the AI.

Nathanmasse:

Tehuelche creeps up a few ranks but their situation is no better than at the start of the episode.  They seem to have sent all of their units to either attack Pampa Koani or embarked them around Koleul Kayke to defend the city.  It’s a bold move Cotton, let’s see if it pays off.

Cloudy:

Yep they’re still here, I checked.

Shaggy:

Bukhara did their best Marcel Marceau impression this week by really exploring the limits of their box. Breaking out from Balkh is a hard task this early in the game, Harappa really stuck them in the gut with the land grabs. If the Dzungar plot materializes, they might be able to really threaten Bukhara's soft (read: non-mountainous) underbelly in Turkistan.

Reformer:

Joyous day. Aside from some small-scale pillaging, Eswatini comes out of the war with Ndongo COMPLETELY UNSCATHED. Few saw this coming - I certainly didn’t. Now, obviously Eswatini is still weak, and noticeably weaker than anyone in the neighborhood (except maybe Mogadishu), but now they can continue to be plucky in their little corner of the world. In a sense, that is all you can ask for when you’re this close to the bottom. A small adventure of your own, far removed from the stressful race for world domination. Is that not more pleasant than any other option?

JDT:

Wait, wait, wait, YOU chose to believe Gregor McGregor? You really thought that you could make a deal with him, strengthen your nation, and make a comeback? And look at you now! Getting humiliated by the Taino! -rep for getting scammed.

JDT:

Things continue to fall apart for Bavaria as they temporarily lose their core city of Nuremburg to Latvia. To make matters worse, Hungary and England are still circling like vultures, and have the potential to snag cities if the Bavarians aren’t vigilant. Every statline for Bavaria is in the dumpster, and they are now stuck with fewer escape routes for an increasing dearth of expansion options. Maybe it's time to play requiem?

NopeCopter:

The Qarmatians have entered a pretty rough dry spell lately given how dynamic they were at their peak. As always, their neighbors all look stronger than them, but eventually they’ll become so strong that no amount of clutch and wanting it more can turn things around. Presumably, at least. With the likes of Pontus, the Afsharids, and Saba-D’mt as neighbors, you can never say for sure. It’s probably best to act sooner rather than later anyways, though, just to be safe.

Leman:

Shang is slowly, slowly coming back to life. Their science is up 49.0% from last episode indicating that a few of their cities are coming back online. I’m not entirely sure which ones because Shang did not really show up this episode. That’s honestly probably good, because I fear the next time Shang is front and center they’re going to be being carved up by Goguryeo and Zheng.

NopeCopter:

The Taino get a cool city snipe and immediately burn it, what are the odds. Poor guys would look half-decent right now if it wasn’t for their happiness issues (which to be fair they’ve solved now), and of course the double threats of Mexico and New Holland. Still, they look decent if you ignore their neighbors, and they could still hypothetically kill off Florida if they realllly wanted to, so they can’t be too low on the rankings.

Rosay:

With Vija humbling the Afsharids feeling almost like a distant memory, Vijayanagara is now the 3rd wheel in the anti-Harappa coalition. Joining in on the “fuck over Harappa club” was probably their only move and 1 in 10 times they might get a city out of this, but it’s really going to suck for ol’ Vija losing their anti-Afsharid shield.

Nathanmasse:

The Visigoths drop a few ranks which could be on account of their war with Burgundy, Rome, or even the Faroes.  But for me, it's because England ended up with Asturica.  After 100 turns of trying and failing, someone else gets the city which has to hurt.  That said, those ongoing wars are draining and there seems very few opportunities for them to come out ahead so a demotion is warranted.

Rosay:

Another day, another boring part for Khoshuts… HEY WAIT A MINUTE THEY'RE ACTUALLY ON A CONQUEST. That’s right this was the part the Khoshuts decided that “hey I can be relevant too” and declared a war, and are actually fucking advancing over the Great Wall. They could score the fifth elimination of the cycle too, barring Zheng or the Afsharids getting a kill first. As an added bonus, if the Khoshuts win just one city, that would be an advancement into weaker territory, as opposed to, say eliminating the neighborhood rump and being on the doorstep of a great power afterwards.

Orange:

Mog’s stats are funny cause they have abysmal production but quite a lot of strength, they also have real good population but terrible effective science somehow. Maybe it’s the UU’s? It’s hard to say. But either way they should try to turn those stats around by using that military to take over a bunch of nearby cities and get more production. Agreed? No? Abu Bakr just wants to sit around and do nothing? I mean, I guess fine by me who am I to judge…

Reformer:

The Nivkh resistance against the statistically superior Thule is simply amazing. You have to admire it. And this is with Nivkh’s one hand tied around their back - a large portion of their navy is stuck by their capital, behind Goguryeo borders, unable to contribute to the war. All the more embarrassing for Thule, of course. Nivkh is impressing us all once again with how competent they are at war. We’ve seen it before when they fought the Ikko-Ikki - who are also statistically superior to Nivkh. Still I cannot help but feel concerned. Thule’s advantages should eventually be able to shine through. And this war is hurting Nivkh, even if it could be hurting a lot worse. Peace sooner rather than later would be beneficial - ideally with the flipzone in Nivhk’s hands.

Shaggy:

Buster Keaton's 1906 silent classic “Lost in Ecuador” is surely one for the ages. Blending Keaton's trademark deadpan expression with the lively bustle that the Ecuadorean military is known for, the film holds up a mirror to the entire cylinder and forces people from all civs to confront the horrors they have created with a nice dash of physical comedy. I especially loved the bit where Keaton accidentally joins a mountain expedition by holding a map upside down and traveling well away from the front. 5/7, the PR team felt they needed to take a couple points off for originality.

Orange:

Now that was a spicy turnaround, K-B managed to not just hold off an attack from Saba-D’mt, but take a city in the process. Though I guess calling it an “attack” is a bit much given that while Saba did declare the war, they didn’t really send any units to go fight it. And despite their production they were refusing to build more units, though to be fair K-B has even less military strength. Sometimes you really can just do more with less, and K-B is hoping that will take them to vie for the spot on top of Africa.

Shaggy:

Talk about force projection! England captures Autun (finally) using their best wireless death signals to literally clear a path to the city for themselves. The plague descends on the Visigoths next after England is given Asturica, though I'm sure Henry will simply be pleased by his French gains and I at least hope that he'll think about reinforcing briefly before continuing the carnage.

Reformer:

Siam has returned to their old habits after taking a beating from Singapore. That is, science turtling and wonderwhoring. You’d think getting beat up like that would make you change your strategy, but no. Not at all. Siam is helplessly addicted to the feeling of researching really advanced stuff. It’s probably an amazing place to live honestly. Shame that the world Siam lives in is so unstable and hostile. This cultural and technological paradise won’t last forever - so they better enjoy it while they have it.

Orange:

Sorghaghtani manages to do much better than expected by holding off Gogurt from making any gains, quickly flipping back any of the like two cities facing most of the conflict. Gogurt also has a surprisingly low military score for their size, 18k compared to Mongolia’s 11k, so it's quite possible Mongolia can get out of this one without much more than some depopulated border cities.

Orange:

Well they really want it more, it's gotta be said. Despite losing the two cities they were gifted, Osage is still trying hard, joining against the Crow in the hopes that they can squeeze another free city out of this (I mean, or take a city but like they’re Osage they don’t operate like that). They really do need this expansion, cause they somehow can’t contend with Seneca who are really the only other attack option.

JDT: Tiwanaku drops by 3 as the continued deadlock with New Holland continues to gum up any potential from them. Nothing changed statwise or positionally, but with other powers showing more action and the knowledge that South America is most likely a deadlocked continent for a while, Tiwanaku’s prospects look kinda dim. Plus, there's always the possibility of Bora Bora or Ecuador coming in with the steel chair, and if the battle gets too protracted, New Holland in theory has the decisive material edge.

Orange:

Mithridates is honestly just trying to have a nice chill war. His last wars weren’t very successful and he’s just wanting something small to ease back into the swing of things. And it’s going nice, don’t have to send the whole army, just a few units to go take Ekaterinoslav. Nice, simple, easy. Just what he needed.

Nathanmasse:

It's a free-for-all for Harappa's cities but it looks like the Dzungars are going to come up short.  It's just too difficult maneuvering an army through the mountains at this point.  They still have plenty of options if they were to pick one but their perennial passivity makes me think that's unlikely.

Reformer:

Noongar is back with a vengeance! The distracted Singaporeans will pay dearly for moving the vast majority of their units westward to fight Vijayanagara. The two have essentially equal production, so momentum will be very meaningful - and with the element of surprise on their side, Noongar should be able to gain momentum. Java should be easy pickings, undefended as it is, though advancing further from there will prove difficult. Of course, even two cities would be a good boon at this point. Palawa is still immensely strong in comparison, and Noongar’s underdog attitude won’t carry them against Palawa forever. Eventually stats will reign supreme in this equation. When war comes to Australia again, Noongar needs to have equalized enough to hold on - or, ideally, emerge victorious.

NopeCopter:

Not much changes for Rome this episode, but some reconsideration of their chances at victory cause some slight backslide. The Mediterranean is looking tougher than ever to make any more progress in, and with Ingolstadt and the Alps in the way, Europe is looking rough too. The war against Kanem-Bornu is making Africa look like a dead-end as well, so it’s really hard to say whether there’s anything left for Rome anymore even if they are still trying. Here’s hoping they’ve still got some more surprises tucked away, because it would be a shame to see this turn out to be their greatest extent.

Msurdej:

Well that’s a disappointing turn of events. Ana Nzinga wraps up her war with the weaker Eswatini, having taken 0 cities. It’s always sad to see a stronger civ take on a weaker civ and have nothing come of it, but this means Eswatini will remain a thorn in Ndongo’s side. A thorn that will further decrease her chances of winning Africa, let alone the region.

Nathanmasse:

The Ume Sami didn't get any screen time this episode but trust me, they're still up there.  They have some pretty solid stats but being stuck between the Faroe Islands and Latvia give them limited options to expand.

Msurdej:

Kennyo manages to get back into the top 20 as he joins a war against the Zheng.  His forces march over the northeastern lands of Zheng, and move to take some of their island cities as well. Changhua is nearly his, and Guangzhou could soon follow. Though they still need to find a way to not lose to the Goguryeo before their current ally decides to go for them next...

Cloudy:

For the first time since episode 16, the Afsharids have gained ranks, finally halting their long, slow slide from 5th place. The reason is obvious enough. Afsharid forces have swarmed into Harappa, threatening to overwhelm multiple cities in a matter of turns, and unless the Khoshuts get there first, the Afsharids will add a second capital to their empire, not to mention the agricultural and industrial powerhouse that is the Indus Valley region. Once we know for sure that the Afsharids will be the beneficiary instead of the Khoshuts, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Nader Shah rise even further.

Rosay:

The war with Kanem Bornu is kinda a Rorschach test. If you see Saba as the future hegemon of Africa, this war isn’t enough to knock them out of the top 15 in the rankings. If you don’t and see Africa as being contested, then Saba blundered the early war and is on their way down. Personally, I’m in the former camp, while the latter is right about Saba making early war missteps, but for every unit Saba throws into a meatgrinder, two more will take its place; while for every Kanem Bornu unit lost, a minor miracle is needed to get a new unit in the field.

Cloudy:

Pueblo slides another three ranks this week on account of continued losses, including their Japanese colony and another city in Hawaii, although the latter remains contested. Their stats have also continued to fall, reaching 23rd overall, much lower than we’ve ranked them. By putting them 16th, we’re betting that they will come out of this war without losing too much more than they already have, in which case they will be able to rebuild—but make no mistake, their floor here is practically in the Marianas Trench, because complete collapse is theoretically possible even if Mexico hasn’t taken any more cities as of yet.

Leman:

Kazan is big on production and military but light on science which makes them really hard to place for me. They’re solid and impressive but they’re really behind and kind of out of expansion opportunities too, with powerful neighbors like Latvia and Selkups. Makhnovia and Kalmyks are good choices, but I’d love for them to fix their science before they put their production to good use.

JDT:

Sierra Leone rises by two as they suddenly find themselves as the best positioned of Africa’s big 3 thanks to Ndongo and Saba fumbling the bag against Eswatini and Kanem Bornu respectively. Well, it's not just the comparative weakness of their rivals. Their manpower and tech count are still top amongst Africa. Their production and science are still passable. And now, they’re using that military against the Alaouites in an effort to finish them off! Another important note is that Kanem Borrnu is wide open right now for the mighty Sierra Leone army to sweep in and achieve victory against. Will they take advantage? Then again, with how destructive their UA is and the current state of Saba, maybe it might be best not to attack them…

NopeCopter:

Thule’s two-spot drop really doesn’t accurately reflect just how much PR opinion has shifted against them recently. Once considered equal to both the Pueblo and Yellowknives, and perhaps even the strongest of the bunch, their failures against the Yellowknives and now the Nivkh are really starting to show their weaknesses. Namely, that they’re trapped without the skills to really break out even against much weaker civs. The Yellowknives were understandable, but when even the Nivkh - with half of their navy blocked off from the battlefield, mind you - is currently up a city, you know something’s wrong. Their stats are still pretty good, so you never know if they could turn things around, but confidence in the giants of the north hasn’t been this low in quite some time. At least they’re having some success on the east coast? [Editor’s note: hahahahaha]

NopeCopter:

Well, things have certainly taken a turn for the worse for Zheng. Actually, it’s more like multiple turns for the worse - not only have the Wahgi suddenly gained the upper hand in their war with Zheng, owing primarily to the pirates just sort of throwing away a bunch of ships without a melee unit to actually take cities, but both the Ikko-Ikki and Goguryeo have declared war - and Goguryeo has the open borders necessary to post a threat! It’s hard to tell just how bad this is for Zheng’s long-term prospects, especially since the Ikko-Ikki have long since forgotten how boats work, but in the worst case the war could be a major blow to their long-term prospects. A weak Southeast Asian presence only amounts to free cities whenever Singapore comes knocking, after all, and while a land-based Zheng empire that grows off Shang and Siam wouldn’t be unreasonable, it also wouldn’t be playing to their strengths. Zheng is on the back foot now, and it’s hard to say just whether they’ll control the damage or keep going and fall flat on their ass.

Reformer:

Singapore ends the episode in a precarious position. In the war against Vijayanagara, Singapore holds the upper hand, but has failed to make much headway so far. But Vijayanagara’s inevitable collapse aside, Singapore has received a fresh war declaration: Noongar. Singapore’s eastern flank is rather weakly defended, on account of the troops being pulled west to fight Vijayanagara, and this has given Noongar the perfect opportunity to blitz the two Singaporean islands on Java. In terms of production, the two are neck-and-neck, meaning after the initial burst of activity, the combatants may settle into a stalemate. However, Singapore has recently acquired an advantage that may allow them to achieve victory - or at the very least prevent significant losses - and that is the Warships tech. This allows them to build the best of the age of sail units, ship of the line. This melee ship will wreak havoc among Noongar’s frigates and privateers if given the chance. Altogether, I don’t give much confidence for Singaporean expansion in the coming episode, but holding onto their current cities is not out of the question.

Reformer:

Bora-Bora stands around while most of their neighbors are busy at war. Palawa admittedly is at peace, but Tiwanaku is fighting for their damn life, while Wahgi is having success against Zheng after some initial struggles. Wahgi rising to the occasion ONCE AGAIN should cause some concern among the Bora fans. This giant of population and tech keeps on succeeding, and they make for a natural rival for the likewise maritime Bora. Which, again, is to mention nothing of Palawa. In the near future, as the oceans continue to open up, the ascendant Mexico will also make for a competent rival. Bora may be a giant, but they find themselves in the company of giants, and every episode of inaction is a wasted opportunity. In an ideal world, Bora stabs Wahgi in the back RIGHT NOW while Wahgi’s troops are entirely focused on Zheng. The rewards would potentially catapult Bora to the top 5.

Nathanmasse:

Latvia continues to climb through the ranks thanks to their great stats and momentum.  Each of their cities is an absolute powerhouse but they're so spread out that we only see two or three at a time.  They did make a little progress flipping Nuremberg, but it ultimately stayed in Bavarian hands.  At this point I'd say they should just cut their losses, regroup, and try an easier target.  Now that they’re solidly in the top 10, they will need to convert these wars into actual gains if they want to keep it.

Msurdej: Palawa’s loss of a rank is more due to another civ gaining ranks past them than it is about anything they’ve done. They are still an Australia civ that’s got a decent army and stats. But there is a problem underneath it all. Roughly half of that big military number up in the top right is gold power, and their actual military might is much closer to Noongar’s (though still one of the largest armies in the cylinder). We also saw that Palawa had less visible land units than Noongar seemed to have, which could make for another upset in the making. But with the production, city, and tech advantage, Tarenorerer is still the favorite to win the Australian continent.

Orange:

For a civ in the top 10 who is at war with a large neighbor, Mexico somehow managed to avoid being mentioned even once during this part. I have no idea how they pulled that off, I can only assume it's ineptitude and will use it to further support my Pueblo-supremacist beliefs. Though really all this says is that the Baja peninsula and northwest Mexico are just far too rough of terrain for any progress to be made by either side. They should make peace since nothing is gonna happen here I guarantee it and go attack Osage who are WIDE OPEN literally free continent if they take over Osage. C’mon Max, step up.

JDT: Remember when we said that the Wahgi were frauds that can never get anything done because of their horrific production? Welp, guess what, their biggest limiting factor has been broken. Their production has skyrocketed up by 58.7%, potentially related to gaining wonders from flipping Simuay. This still puts their production as distinctly mediocre, but 284 is a workable number on par with most other high-mid tier civs. It's not just production however. The fact is, they still have literally everything else going for them. Good military competence, the highest science and growth rate in the cylinder, a small happiness buffer, and while their military isn’t good per se, it's still bigger than Zheng's current military. Speaking of the war with Zheng, the Wahgi are winning, given their previous Simuay flip and the holding of most of their core lands, and may in fact turn the tables on Zheng and take more land in the future. Be on the prowl, because the Wahgi have proven they’re not so dead yet.

JDT: New Holland drops one as their war with Tiwanaku goes nowhere, neither side finding any advantage in spite of New Holland's much, much more impressive stats (4th overall). That's been the name of the game for New Holland - crazy stats, no conversion. Be it terrain, enemy units or their naval focus, New Holland seems perennially unable to snowball, even when they are hegemon of South America. If these failures continue, they may just lose their seat as a respected power, so Maurits better get his game up.

Cloudy:

The Yellowknives reach an all time high of 4th place this week, and they could yet go higher still, as they bring the hammer down on Joe Medicine Crow. The Crow aren’t long for this world, and the Yellowknives will get most of the spoils no matter how the chips ultimately fall. With Pueblo nearing collapse and Thule flailing helplessly, the Yellowknives now fully outclass all their neighbors, and unless they completely go to sleep after this, they’ll be well-positioned for the eventual showdown  (we think) with Mexico for control of the continent.

Msurdej: Vonya only got one mention in this part, in a slide that showed the border between them and Kazan. Their wars aren’t relevant to them, letting them build up whatever they want. If they decide to go back on the warpath, their best bet is likely Pavlodar. If they want to grab more than one city, Kazan is looking a little weak at the moment. A potential team up with Goguryeo could get some cities off Mongolia too. There are options for the Selkups still, but they will need to seize those options if they want to get higher than third.

Leman:

Another quiet part for Faroes as they keep steady in second place. I know they’re at war with Visigoths, and that is nice, but that’s probably just going to result in that Irish city being set on fire. They are still incredibly unhappy, meaning they have no growth whatsoever, haven’t participated in any wars and haven’t really done anything else of note yet. Honestly, it’s kind of good that Faroes hit this unhappy slump. Faroes have barely had any population growth in like four episodes and are working with 60% of their production and still managed to easily coast into second place. Imagine what terror they would have wrought without those nerfs? It’d be like Uruguay but worse.

Msurdej: Goguryeo keeps up its new top spot in a big way, taking on Zheng this part. While the war with Mongolia has been stymied, the Pueblo have at least been kicked off of Japan, and are going back and forth with them in Hawaii. And with the Ikko-Ikki giving them open borders, it just remains to be seen whether Gwanggaeto join the battle in earnest. He miiiight be spreading himself too thin if he does, especially since his army is a little lacking. But with their effective science leagues ahead of anyone else, and their production at the top of the food chain, they can start pumping out new units, and hopefully take some more land.