Power Rankings: Episode 28 – S4

NopeCopter:

And so ends the tale of the Mamluks, another Nile civ slain tragically early. Unlike Egypt or the Ptolemies, though, the Mamluks… kind of earned their fate, if I’m being honest. Initially ranked around the middle of the pack, the Mamluks had some hopes pointed toward them despite their mediocre start for one simple reason: Saba-D’mt, often a fairly competent civ, had completely and utterly fumbled the opening turns. This was a perfect opportunity for them to expand and take an early lead, especially as they had forward-settled Saba-D’mt and had all the room in the world to themselves… but of course, they didn’t do that. The Mamluks refused to settle a single other city for around four more episodes as Saba-D’mt slowly recovered and their other neighbors slowly got scarier, to the point where the Mamluks were the ONLY civilization in the Episode 5 Popularity Poll to not get any support whatsoever. Eventually the Mamluks did begin settling again, but by this point they were already behind - their stats were weak, Saba-D’mt was having the glow-up of the century, and their new cities were mostly worthless desert. It seemed like a killer invasion from Saba-D’mt was inevitable, and on Episode 7, they were indeed invaded… but not by Saba-D’mt.

Of all civilizations, a trapped and battle-hungry Rome was the one to strike at the free food the Mamluks had become. The city of Rashid was an easy beachhead to take, but nobody expected the Romans to go much further until they actually carted their army across the Mediterranean and besieged Mansoura. The Mamluks just didn’t have the military to fight back. The Romans continued their attack toward the Mamluk core, taking Damanhur along the Nile River and threatening Cairo, and it all seemed over… but then the Romans began to run out of troops. The forces in Africa split between attacking the Nile and the worthless desert city of Minya, and they neglected to send reinforcements, giving the Mamluks enough time to build up a proper military and begin retaking their former cities. By the end of Episode 11, Rome had two units in Africa, and the Mamluk forces were ready to surround and retake Mansoura. Disappointing for the viewers, maybe, but the Mamluks were ready to reclaim their lost glory. And then Kanem-Bornu arrived.

The Mamluk forces failed to retake Mansoura, and their once again exhausted military was completely unprepared for a Kanembu invasion from across the Sahara. Minya fell easily, and before long the Romans finally sent reinforcements to finish the job, too. Kanem-Bornu secured Damanhur while Rome finally took Cairo, leaving the Mamluks with only the coastal city of Damietta. However, neither the Romans or Kanem-Bornu could actually maneuver through the difficult terrain around the city, and so the Mamluks were able to live on as a classic city-state rump state.

It was as a city-state that the Mamluks lived out the latter half of their existence, with Rome and Kanem-Bornu occasionally taking another crack at the city but always coming up short. They passed several other, more successful civs on the rankings just by virtue of not dying. It seemed clear that only an invasion from Saba-D’mt could finally put them down for good. However, after yet another failed assault on Damietta by Kanem-Bornu, the city was weakened just enough for a different civilization to finish the job: Pontus, another civilization that had become infamous for doing nothing. How fitting. And so the Mamluks were finally allowed to rest, freed from a prison of their own incompetence. May they find some other AI game to try and regain their honor in. F.

Reformer: Shang falls to the bottom of the living. For good reason obviously. The massive, overwhelming Goguryeo army is waltzing through what remains of a former great power. At the end of the part, Shang holds onto three cities, none of them sufficiently defended to hold, should Goguryeo want them. The terrain does get preeeetty rough for the last two cities at least. Mountains may be Shang’s saving grace here, but what a diminished existence it would be. Surely going out with a bang is more dignified. Just ask the Mamluks.

ECH:

I must admit, I sorta just assumed Burgundy was in the rump state category now. It’s only when I made my stats update that I truly realized they were truly a capital-B bottom tier, with the worst outputs of any civ at current in effective milscore and production; aka the foremost stats for winning this whole shebang. However, there is a more existential threat, and it’s name is England. That can be said a lot about rump states with powers nearby, but in this case it’s meant much more directly: Englands UA drains HP from a civ’s current cities if England has units garrisoned in conquered cities of that civ. Once England has around 3 or more of these, the HP drain seems to be more than the health regain, and we’re already noticing the last stronghold of the Burgundians slowly, cruelly even, fade down to an eventual walk-in state. Now that would be a dishonorable way of going out.

A side note, first Mamluks, then Royal Hungary, now Burgundy just about manage to get out their cool UU after they’re rendered a rump, arguably Alaoites too with their UI Kasbah’s. I guess it’s neat we sorta kinda see them, at least?

Leman:

I also don’t know why they’re still here.

ECH:

Well, as the narrator generously noticed, they are approaching a 100% unit carpet over their lands, and they’ve been able to do it in style with their Szekely Guardsman UU’s, which have a icon cool enough I can perhaps overlook that they start weaker than the musketmen they replace (and the whole musketmen being an era behind Latvia thing). Outside of that, ummmmm… let’s just keep the focus on that, eh?

Cloudy:

A few distant civs declared war on the Kalmyks this episode, enough to almost make Ayuka Khan crack open an eye and groggily mutter, “huhummfg?” But in the end they made peace and he went back to bed.

Reformer:

These guys are still fighting Royal Hungary through a one-tile gap. Makhnovia sure is a real civ, still. Which is more than the real world Makhnovia can say. Good for them! Good for them.

Orange:

Hahahahahahahahahaha they’re falling I called it I knew they were washed. They could never take a city for shit and now they are finally gonna die. Yippee I’m so happy I’m right!

JDT: The Tiwanaku are, after valiant parts of holding, finally crumbling to ashes. Bora Bora has made critical breakthroughs in the south, with Wakanini and Pukara all but guaranteed to fall next. Ecuador is… still there I guess, giving pressure to their remaining cities. Every single statline spells doom. Every statistic has been decimated by the loss of these critical cities to Bora. The military is all but non-existent. The only reason we’re not touting the Tiwanaku as the next elimination are for two reasons. Firstly, Tiwanaku and Ojo are in very defensible positions, incredibly hellish for anyone to take. Secondly, Ecuador are complete frauds. Thirdly, Bora Bora has started to lose some steam. Huyustus is due to become nothing but dust and ruins again regardless however. Still, he isn’t the biggest folder in the whole cylinder…

Orange:

eSwatini continues to hold on, Big Bend did flip twice, and things aren’t looking too hot, but like, hey they are doing better at defending then they could be. So, that’s something. They still have 7 cities strewn around, and their capital is still untouched. So it's hard to say how long they will last. But probably long enough for peace before too long.

JDT:

…and the civ that has defined collapse harder than the Tiwanaku has been the Pueblo. Holy shit how do you go from being a mid tier power to the verge of elimination. The Yellowknives are behind, in front of, and all around you. You’re getting schooled. Even having the plot armor that is the Osage on your side isn’t helping matters, because despite their improbable and impactful victories in the east you are folding like soggy tissue paper. This is WW2 France tier collapse. And the worst part is, if the Yellowknives don’t finish the job, they’re now permanently in rump position, poised to suffer until Mexico or the Yellowknives finish them off. I suppose there’s no other time to say it - POPAY is AKAITCHO’S SON!

Nathanmasse:

Tehuelche rises three ranks thanks to Pueblo, Tiwanaku, and Visigoths collapsing.  I doubt it will last.  As we've seen before, they're vulnerable to a naval invasion from both east and west, and once Bora finishes off Tiwanaku the northern flank will be more exposed than ever.

Cloudy:

Much like stonks, the Finns only go up, never down. This remains the case despite Latvia stealing a massive chunk of land right next to the Finnish capital.

CelestialDalek:Talk about being saved by the bell. Pavlodar, gained from the Kazakhs in a hilarious peace deal, was under siege by Kazan and in the deep red. It was even surrounded by melee units to boot. However, Shaybani’s crafty team of diplomats managed to con Kazan out of a rare military success. And, luckily, despite the Kazan war being part of a larger coalition, the coalition partners of the Faroes, Palawa, and Latvia are useless in this war. Yet again they escape unscathed even though they really don’t deserve it at this point.

Nathanmasse:

Seneca rises a few ranks this week as they settle the ruins of St. Augustine.  It's not clear exactly where they can go from here... but given the current standing of formerly-top-five civs we can't rule anything out.

Orange:

Taino drops a bit as they continue to be held down by a lacking production and some quite strong neighbors (aka Mexico). Which is sad, if they could’ve broken more into any of the mainlands around them that would’ve been so cool. Maybe they can still make a play at the fall of the Visigoths…

CelestialDalek:

What an exciting part for Mongolia: they peaced out with Mogadishu. They’ve also poked around in Shang territory a bit, trying to see what’s going on. Unfortunately, Goguryeo is actually doing all the military work and not leaving any cities for Mongolia to take. They barely even walked into Shang territory at all! They have ZERO grit, ZERO heart, ZERO clutch, ZERO, momentum, and DON’T want it AT ALL.

Leman:

Two spots up for Qarmatians this week, and it’s not because they did anything. It’s because Pueblo and Tiwanaku are trying to die. It’s not because we think they’re going to beat Vijayanagara.

Cloudy:

Mogadishu continues to wander around in the doldrums after failing to take Zheng Southern Antarctic Lands. Noongar did launch an assault on Mogadishu’s own southern Indian Ocean outpost, but they also failed. Other than that, it’s been quiet.

ECH:

Bavaria heads up 2 ranks in what’s a very discrete move back to their peak region, which is quietly jostling near (but not surpassing) 30th place, returning from a long and slow curve down into the 40’s. Very exciting stuff, for sure. It’s awkward, as Bavaria truly lacks any USP at this point, no real source of strength or major signs of ambition besides bashing their vampiric rival a bit; but they have clearly secured Central Europe to some extent, a pivot point for continental logistics that makes them, in technical parlance, a tricky bugger to excise and a semi-valid contender. Honestly, I’m still rooting for ‘em, so rock on Wagner style, Ludwig.  

JDT: I got a cold this morning. I blame Umu.

Reformer:

Ikko-Ikki is still imprisoned. By their neighbors, I mean. Goguryeo and Zheng are far, far stronger, and could crush Ikko like a sparrow’s egg. Notably Ikko is also ideologically isolated, having chosen Order in a world of autocrats. Why they did this is beyond me. If they were lonely poor sods before, now they’re even worse off. The downfall shall continue, mashallah.

Msurdej:  

Breaking news: The Khoshuts are still here. They have also gone up a rank and ended their war with the Nivkh. These two events aren’t connected, but with the Dzungars messing up this episode, and a little bit of static, the Khoshuts go up a rank.

Msurdej:  

Bad news for the fans of Siam, they’re going against the grain when it comes to ideology. They’ve joined the Order camp, alongside the Ikko-Ikki and the Faroe Islands. But this puts them at odds with their neighbors like the Zheng and Singapore, who have chosen Autocracy and Neutrality. Still, with a high culture, they may be able to convince others that the way of Order is the best path.

Reformer:

So first of all, Vijayanagara and Singapore made peace off-screen. This has been confirmed. Vijayanagara definitely got lucky there if you ask me. Anyway, moving on, because Vijayanagara ended up in a new war right away! Very exciting for everyone’s favorite Southern Indian civ. Vijay is the attacker, and their target is none other than the Qarmatians. Qarms aren’t exactly ill-prepared, having built a sizable navy to deter aggression by sea, but Vijay critically has the tech advantage: They have frigates against Qarms’ galleasses. And EVERYBODY KNOWS what a massive jump in power galleasses -> frigates is. Still, Qarms do have strength in numbers, so this won’t be easy, either. It’ll take a while to whittle all those ships down, but once that’s all done, Vijay should be able to wreak havoc along the entire Qarm coastline. Just hope they don’t give up before then.

CelestialDalek:

It’s a good week to be an Osage fan. Next week it might even be a good week to be an Osage fan. But if the war with the Yellowknives continues, by two weeks from now it probably won’t be a good week to be an Osage fan. While they DID capture a city and hold on to another contested city despite a flipfest, the Osage are not in a good long-term position. They’re hopelessly and obviously outteched: crossbowmen and pikemen replacements are fighting a war against cavalry, artillery, and planes. The only reason that the brunt of a terrifying, technologically advanced military has not beaten them to death is because that military is busy beating the Pueblo to death instead. If peace or death comes to the Pueblo before the Osage, expect this rating to plummet.

JDT: It speaks platitudes that Ecuador has failed to rise a single rank in spite of the collapse of Tiwanaku. It’s actually unbelievable how badly Ecuador is fumbling the war. The Tiwanaku are fighting a fully rostered mid tier army with sticks and stones and somehow those sticks and stones are having more impact than Ecuador’s whole military. Yes, the Andes are hard. But like fuck me sideways man. There’s a bunch of cities on plains and hills that should be super easy to take for just about anyone else. How the hell has Ecuador encircled said cities multiple times and made ZERO progress? Baffling, truly baffling.

JDT:

Kanem Bornu goes up by 3. Part of it is the complete annihilation of the Pueblo, but there’s a bit more to the story than that. Their assault on the Mamluks show the ability to project force and take on proactive roles in the continent, made even better by Pontus taking the kill and absolving them of consequences. Sure, a lot of their stats, especially military, production and tech, are still below average. However, their UA that deals massive damage to invaders, coupled with the fact that Africa is the continent of frauds and chokers, means that they’re still fairly safe for now. While they will be facing very big fish soon, for now, they enjoy a 3 point rise, courtesy of the corpse of Egypt.

ECH:

It’s unusual that there’s so much to discuss about a civ before scene 7 of 100+, and nothing much after. There’s an elephant in the room around Galdan Khan’s performance last week, and it all revolves around the choice to declare a semi-white-peace with the Selkups after a below-average 26 turn conflict. Now, perhaps I’m not the best to be analysing this, as I must acknowledge having a dissenting opinion from most on this matter: most PR’s had the sense that the Dzungars were on the verge of securing a fair amount of land - at minimum the former Kazakh territories they captured/flipped last episode - and that this peace was a dull-minded waste of what may be their final chance to catch the Selkups off guard and secure enough cities to be a true contender against the powers around them, not to mention giving up one of their own cities in the peace deal!

I, however, was always a Selkups believer and largely take the opposite stance: the Dzungars are washed already and this war was a folly, so even keeping one new Kazakh city off the Selkups, who were in the long term pumping out more advanced units at a faster rate, and not losing more cities than Manas, is a small mercy on Dzungars road to a mediocre end, to be a tad blunt. In any case, they’ve been punished with a -4 drop for not living out expectations of steppe conquest, and their prospects look more trapped than ever to my mind.

Nathanmasse:

Noongar's rank stays steady at 23rd as a beacon of peace amidst a sea of war.  Not much of note from this week which isn't necessarily a good sign.  All of their neighbor's techs outstrip them or they're at least making flashy plays. Without gaining the initiative in some way Noongar risks being left behind.

Cloudy:

Saba has gone up three ranks due mainly to other civs falling, but I have to say I think their ship has sailed. If they were going to turn into a powerhouse they’d have done it already. Instead they’re just sitting there, letting Pontus eliminate the Mamluks.

Msurdej:  Well Kazan managed to beef it pretty hard in this part. The exclave of Pavlodar was theirs for the taking, but at the last second, the Kazan made peace with Bukhara after losing more than 10% of their military. Worse, their failure is Vonya’s gain, as the Selkups are moving in to capture the city. Should they succeed (which is likely), they’ll be able to have an even larger border to attack the Kazan. It’s another move that kicks Kazan out of the Top 20.

Orange:

Another part, another rank up for England. Last time they had attacked Burgundy in what is now seen as a good idea as they took Dijon before making peace. Granted, it did put Asturica in danger (but Visigoths can’t do shit anyways) and stalled their Visigoth attack, but it did get them a capital. Even though they did manage to flip Reccopolis a few times, they don’t hold it at the end of the part. Reccopolis is even now in danger of being taken by Sierra Leone. Not to be taken completely out of it, they will be taking Emerita next part and could maybe send units in to Reccopolis before Sierra Leone. Overall, England is doing at least pretty solidly here. Next, we get to see how much of the Visigoths they can truly take.

Nathanmasse:

Ume-Sami slides a rank this week but that's more likely than not a bit of a correction from last week's jump.  Their stats are still good but their options remain limited, all the moreso given their chronic sleepiness.  

Msurdej:  A quiet part of Nader Shah, with their rise in the ranks coming off the fall of Kazan. They made peace with the now dead Mamluks, recruited a great musician, and watched a war wage between them. Hopefully when the two enemies have bled themselves dry, the Afsharids can make a move and eliminate one of them. Doing so would make them a regional power and true contender to win it all.

ECH:

A nearly entirely quiet episode for Rome, only saved by some sidebar drivel and narrator theorising, and matched by no change in ranks also. Trajan for now remains seemingly the king of his little bathtub called the Med, and maybe one day he’ll try to use his packed-in fleets again, or you know, make any major moves.

CelestialDalek:WOOOO IT’S FINALLY PONTUS TIME AGAIN! LET THE WORLD BE BATHED IN SOOTHING PURPLE HUES! PURPLE LOVERS (ME AND NOPE) REJOICE!

Pontus’ eight-point jump in the ratings can be mostly attributed to the fact that they finally eliminated the Mamluks and captured a heavily-citadelled 2-pop city. Also, their stats are less mediocre. For the first time in a while, they’ve jumped back into the top 15 military scores, and their InfoAddict ranking has also shot up by 8 points. If they have an Achilles’ heel, it’s probably their technology, which is lacking for a civ of this caliber. But in addition to poblo’s famed grit, heart, clutch, momentum, and wanting it more scores, I propose a new element to be factored into the rankings: purple. And Pontus definitely succeeds in purple.

Msurdej:  Nzinga, bubby, we gotta talk. You’re one of the greatest powers in Africa. Your opponent has three cities on the mainland. It should not be taking you THIS long to take out Eswatini. Sure you’re flipping Big Bend, but it could very easily remain out of your hands. The battle isn’t over, but you could very easily make no progress here and continue to be a lame duck.

Reformer:

Thule (mostly) looks on as their fellow North Americans partake in the joys of war. The Osage-Pueblo war may be over, but Yellowknives have taken it upon themselves the proud and noble occupation known as “warmonger”. Interestingly, this manifests as YK declaring war on both Pueblo and Osage. Plenty of lore implications. Nonetheless, YK is crushing Pueblo while Osage is pushing back. The entire YK army is distracted by this 1v2. So surely NOW is Thule’s opportunity to do a fresh take on the previous Thule-YK war. Thule could strike through the soft underbelly of YK before they become a true unchallenged hegemon. And, more importantly, fix their reputation a bit. But it may be that said reputation will get in the way of achieving true greatness...

Leman:

Look, I am a stats person, so I want Palawa to be a clean and easy top ten. They have top ten stats. Easily on par with Selkups, or Zheng or Bora-Bora. However, stalemating with Noongar for several hundred turns is not top-ten level gameplay. It’s embarrassing. Expect Palawa to hover outside of the top ten until they put these stats to good use.

Leman:

Sierra Leone is so weird man. They couldn’t manage to kill off the Alaouites, but still somehow managed to blitz down both Visigoth’s island cities? How do you manage to be so inconsistent? That being said, a win is a win, so Sierra Leone holds steady here at twelfth.

Nathanmasse:

Singapore bounces back in the ranks this week after a bit of a stumble fighting Vijayanagara last week.  They're up there with Zheng as civs I keep underestimating and being pleasantly surprised by.  Their unexpected ability to project power across the Pacific is quite exciting and I can only hope for more.

CelestialDalek:Of all the civs on the cylinder, Latvia is certainly one of them. We only got one or two really good shots of their core, but they did reveal something interesting: Ulmanis has riflemen now. This means that a war with the Finns would turn into a complete curbstomp, pitting greatly superior firepower against extremely low city defenses with no good way to stop it since the Finns have been citadelled into oblivion. Unfortunately, it looks like Ulmanis is falling into the age-old sleeping giant trap as he hasn’t been doing many useful wars.

Msurdej:  

The Zheng fall a few ranks, but it’s largely a result of their neighbors doing so well, and them being overvalued in the last part. Goguryeo grows stronger by the episode, and Koxinga is struggling to keep up, though they continue to have a strong recovery. Picking up Autocracy is a good start, as allied ideologies will make easier bonds than opposing ideologies. Which Zheng now has to contend with to the south. That could make a good opportunity for some pick ups though...

Cloudy:

Mexico continues to wield one of the world’s largest armies, but we’re still waiting for them to pick their next target. Picking up two cities from Pueblo was a neat trick, maybe they should try that again now that Pueblo is collapsing? Or maybe they should attack Osage while Osage is already fighting the Yellowknives, Thule, and Taino? Either would be a potential breakthrough moment for our Central American giant.

Leman:

New Holland has spent a fairly large amount of time trying to kill off Tiwanaku. They were completely unsuccessful, managing to only pick off a single city. However, now Tiwanaku is in complete freefall. New Holland can absolutely snag several cities from this hollowed out husk of a former superpower. Bora-Bora’s conquest is slow, they have a fairly mediocre land army, and Ecuador sucks. New Holland could just walk into three or four cities.

Reformer:

Another step upward on the path to the top 5 for Bora. And it is a well-deserved step indeed, as Bora shows their teeth this episode, showing up pretty much every other South American civ in the process. The most competent warmonger on the continent is apparently a foreign power. New Holland couldn’t break Tiwanaku, Ecuador was able to just about get one city…whilst Bora shatters the shell of the Andean turtle. Truly none of these pathetic civs deserves the mantle of continental victor. That honor shall be Bora’s and Bora’s alone. And the pain train is showing no sign of slowing down, either. Bora is pushing further and further, eager for that tasty, delicious capital. That is the spirit of a true contender. Soon they will deserve to be called a top 5 power. Just you wait.

Cloudy:

In a turn of events that caught most of us off guard, the Selkups end their war with the Dzungars in a draw. Although the Dzungars flipped three major Selkup cities, Vonya regained two of them before peacing out, and managed to convince Galdan Khan to give up Manas in the peace deal, resulting in no net gain for either side. And while the war did do significant damage to the Selkups’ economy and infrastructure, the Dzungars absolutely had to win if they wanted to dominate Central Asia, so this outcome probably still cements the Selkups future hegemony over the region, as shambolic as their performance may have been.

ECH:

Those with a good memory for data may have realized this already, but this edition of the Power Rankings contains an ignobly quiet toppling, as the Faroes fall out of the Top 3 for the first time since Episode 3! Now, is that in a sense a fairly arbitrary line of status division, not really reflecting our true and complete sense of the jostling and divergences between the civs at this top level? Mayhaps. But let’s be clear, it is a bit embarrassing, and it’s deserved because Faroe’s plays have been embarrassing for a civ of their immense potential, especially now that they’ve taken enough ideal ideological tenets to bounce up to a very healthy 72 Happiness. In this episode we saw them peace out with the bloody Visigoths with nothing to show for it in the end! The Visigoths!

Look, sure, by stats calculations alone they’re a indisputable Top 2, but the whole point of our existence as rankers is to provide a sense of the game state beyond such shallow quantitative metrics, and for a long while everything around the Faroes has pointed away from them being worthy of the crown they wore in these ranks. Who knows, perhaps this mild punishment (and to be clear, being the 4th best of 60 originally is still hardly rock bottom) can give ‘em a healthy kick in the rear to wake up, eh?

Cloudy:

The Yellowknives climb back again to their all-time high of third place after a wild and bloody episode that saw them handily crush their erstwhile rivals Pueblo while surprisingly struggling against the on-paper much weaker Osage. As the first civ to deploy airplanes in combat, they ran rampant over Pueblo’s defenses, capturing three major core cities in California, while reducing other cities to the black, which could be flipped at any time. Bizarrely, however, Akaitcho simultaneously attacked the Osage, who have gone on the offensive, preventing the Yellowknives from holding one former Crow city and repeatedly capturing another that began the war in Yellowknife hands. In fact, if they made peace right now, Osage would win the war. Ultimately though, we don’t think Osage’s upset resistance comes close to outweighing Akaitcho’s smashing success invading the Pueblo, and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to imagine anyone other than the Yellowknives as the hegemon of North America.

Leman:

We are very much in Wahgi’s slumbering behemoth era. Wahgi is cleanly first in stats but loses out on that coveted top slot to Goguryeo because they are not actively devouring a former top tier superpower. They could if they wanted to, Wahgi’s stats are that good. But until they decided to take those stats and throw them at Zheng, Bora-Bora, or Palawa, Wahgi’s probably not going to be taking home that gold medal.

Orange:

So Wahgi vs. Gogurt, honestly I put Wahgi first. While Gogurt has a lot more cities, Wahgi just has such insane science, and Gogurt is currently losing cities to Singapore somehow. Yet, their position remains on top, of not just these rankings but of the cylinder. They have an absolutely dominant state that is looking to take over all of east Asia that looks to only grow, and Wahgi has been sitting on their heels.