Power Rankings: Episode 32 – S4

Reformer:

Aw dang. They fuckin’ lived- Ahem, I mean, wow! Siam barely manages to avoid certain death! Truly magical, an unadulterated miracle of diplomacy. So Siam lives on as a city-state. Is this really what you wanted, Rama? Really? Limp on as a shadow of a shadow of your former self? Lord almighty.

Cloudy:

Well, they ain’t dead yet. They only have one city, their capital, but they’re not dead. And with England rumped and Sierra Leone distracted, they may live a while yet. But honestly, give England a few turns to gather what troops it has left, and I wouldn’t fancy Leovigild’s chances.

Cloudy:

Tiwanaku has found itself back in a certain measure of danger thanks to a declaration of war from New Holland. Now, New Holland doesn’t border Tiwanaku, but their armies are large and advanced, and they have open borders with both Ecuador and Bora-Bora, giving them several possible avenues of approach. So will the mountains hold or is Huyustus in trouble? Next episode we will find out.

Reformer:

Kalmyks are in trouble. Though ‘trouble’ must be understood in the context of the Kalmyks’ diminished existence. So it’s not that the Kalmyks are getting conquered…well, I guess they kind of are. This ep, Kalmyks got absolutely wrecked by citadels. Kalmyk cities are starving, reduced to minimal amounts of tiles. Truly the humiliation never ends.

Orange:

This has certainly been a major “oof” for Vijay. Their whole empire has utterly collapsed and it looks like Singapore is gonna just keep going. Their only saving grace is that they have inland cities and Singapore’s invasion is currently entirely naval based. But like, they just need to bring a few troops over and the whole place crumbles.

Nathanmasse:

Khoshuts fans are getting whiplash this week as they go from the high of seizing a few long-disputed Siamese cities to having nearly all of their cities in the Indian subcontinent overrun by the Afsharids.  It’s a real shame for a civ who underwent a rather surprising glow-up to have it all stripped away so quickly and decisively.  Worse yet, there’s no sign the Afsharid advance will be stopping anytime soon so the Khoshuts’ very existence is at stake.  Perhaps they will be able to make a stand in the mountain passes of the Himalayas but with the Afsharids’ overwhelming air superiority there is little hope that will be successful.

Cloudy:

Makhno is still begging for death, but Latvia is too lazy to oblige. Hey, at least the Finns might give it a shot?

Reformer:

Still climbing…it’s so easy being Finnish…Good God! Two spots up in the Power Rankings™! This only happens once in a millenium! Once-in-a-lifetime event…good golly…heavens above…zzzzzzz……..

Msurdej:England manages to staunch the bleeding that the Faroe Islands had been giving them. Sure they lost their capital and all their cities on the English channel, and they've probably blown all their chances to win the game, but they're still alive. So take heart English fans, the 1 drop in the rankings could be a lot worse.Like Vijayanagara, or the Koshuts, or...

Msurdej:Ecuador's war with Mexico is going badly for them. Quito and Loja have flipped, with Latacunga under firmer Mexican control. But not all hope is lost, because Moreno has a secret weapon: Peacekeepers! New Hollandaise troops are flooding in from the east, preventing the capture of Ibarra and possibly now Loja. If this keeps up, Ecuador may be occupied by a foreign army...but at least they aren't at war with *this army yet*.

Msurdej:Speaking of falling, here's Nivkh! Still dying to Thule, down to a handful of cities. While the Thule probably won't eliminate them, every day the war drags on is a day that Goguryeo can gain power to finish the job.

Nathanmasse:

Bukahara jumps five ranks this week as other civs plummet around them.  It’s hard to tell but they might have made peace with the Selkups offscreen because their cities are no longer being bombarded by the Selkups planes, but there is little else to celebrate.  Afsharids’ rising star this past episode only further dooms Bukhara to be one day incorporated into one of their neighbors’ empires.  Their tiny empire and outdated units can do little to stand against any of their neighbors in a full invasion.  It’s only a question of who will be the one to strike first.

Cloudy:

Seneca reaches their highest rank since episode 2, thanks to other low to mid-tier civs collapsing. Among the civs in this section, I would say Seneca is also probably the most likely to show some fireworks before they are abruptly and brutally killed, given that they have a respectable if very outdated carpet and a couple of neighbors who are potentially vulnerable if attacked by someone else first. We’ll see.

NopeCopter:

Right after one legend (England) falls, another begins to topple… Kanem-Bornu has become famous for their ability to not die, but Sierra Leone’s tech advantage and imminent researching of planes seems set to finally break the unbreakable wall and slay the kingmaker of Africa. That, or we could be due for another Saba-D’mt situation, and Kanem-Bornu could pull off yet another moment of comedy gold. But I wouldn’t bet on it this time, given they’ve already lost a city.

Cloudy:

Mongolia jumps six ranks as numerous civs once ranked above them suddenly collapse. How long will Mongolia hold out? If the Selkups and Goguryeo leave them alone, it could be quite a while. But let’s not count our chickens before they hatch.

Msurdej:

Abu Tahir al-Jannabi Didn't have much going on in this episode. The best they got was a brief mention about Mogadishu's attack on the islands near Madagascar. This “no news is good news” idea is probably why Qarmatians rose four ranks in this episode.

Reformer:

Taino…Well, the Caribbean civ is still here. I don’t know why, but it’s True and Real. Just like they have all game, Taino is still vaguely keeping up in tech despite their obvious weakness otherwise. It’s enough to look like they kind of have tech-parity with Mexico. Taino’s even researching artillery right now! Mexico does have FLIGHT though, so it’s a bit of a moot point…and let’s not even start with New Holland, who are 10+ techs ahead…or the frightening Faroes, who could theoretically attack whenever. It’s not easy being the Caribbean civ, that’s for sure.

Orange:

Gogurt continues to not turn their attention east, and with that Ikko Ikki remains alive. Maybe they should figure out a way out of this situation, an attack on Thule or Nivkh maybe? It’s hard to say. But they gotta do something soon, because otherwise they’re just sitting around waiting to be taken out by their stronger neighbors.

Cloudy:

There are so few good civs left that Bavaria is 26th. What has the world come to? Where is our loving god?

Msurdej:  

When I was younger, my dad used to collect Osage oranges. Have you ever seen one of those? Well go look at the slide again. That's an Osage orange. They didn't taste great, so we didn't eat them. We mostly used them for Halloween, making children believe they were alien brains. My dad tried to grow one, it didn't work out. And this little tidbit has been more interesting than Pawhuska was in this part.

Cloudy:

The Dzungars declared war on the Khoshuts again, and this time with assistance from the Afsharids, they very nearly broke through the Himalayas to capture a city... but they still somehow failed. Shame.

Cloudy:

Surprising all of us, Mogadishu has remained active for a second week in a row, declaring a very timely war against Vijayanagara just in time to grab one of their African island cities before Singapore could do so. They almost got the other one too, but sadly the timing was slightly off. Still, this is the kind of play we need to see from Mogadishu, and if they keep it up—declaring war on the Qarmatians, for example—there’s still a little bit of room to rise. But the harsh truth is that far Abu Bakr ibn Umar to have had any chance at becoming a major power, he needed to start acting like this 300 turns ago.

Nathanmasse:

Noongar had a quiet episode this week and are surely relieved that both Singapore and Wahgi chose to declare war on another civ.  Unfortunately, Noongar can’t rest easy as there are still enough units stationed on their border that Wahgi could probably make headway even while continuing the fight with Bora.  They’re also now 11 techs behind Palawa (including some notable ones like flight, combustion, plastics, and electricity) so honestly a conflict with any of their neighbors would put them in a rough spot, but that’s future-Noongar’s problem.

NopeCopter:

Well, that was a bad idea. Pontus has officially lost Damietta to Saba-D’mt in a war they started, and even worse, it doesn’t look like they’ll be able to retake it. This is yet another mark of shame on Pontus’s war record, and the worst part is, they’ll probably be fine. They still have just as many decent-enough targets they COULD invade, which would hypothetically put them in a decent position. Could. But probably won’t. It’s a shame, too, because those really are some lovely colors they’ve got. At least they’ve thrown some Saba-D’mt cities into Resistance.

ECH:

People expected the war with Pontus would be an annoying quick distraction for Saba, already in a mediocre spot, with a few flips. Turns out it’s an annoying long distraction for Saba, already in a mediocre spot, with a good amount of flips. Saba may have somehow risen two ranks, but let’s not kid anyone, Saba is pretty firmly in second fiddle position to stronger players on the continent at this point. Maybe they can pounce on a falling Kanem with their reserves?

Reformer:

Now this is a story about how I ended up in Scandinavia doing fuckall. First, I fucked around, got a little mad at my closest neighbor. No big deal though, we made up, and since then we’ve been BFFs. After that, I fucked around again, and my other close-by neighbor—who’s much stronger than me, by the way—showed up and punched me in the face. A few times. Okay, it was like 24 times. It really hurt, but I made a full recovery. That guy is still much stronger than me, but it’s okay! We made up, too, and he hasn’t caused trouble since. And after that? Well, I took a nap, and that’s been my life ever since. A wonderful, restful life, full of contentment. Nothing can bother me…nothing can bother me…

NopeCopter:

Another quiet part for not only Kazan but also all of their neighbors. On the one hand, being surrounded by relatively stagnant civs is pretty nice for a civ that’s already on the razor’s edge of relevance. On the other hand, given Kazan’s only hope of gaining more than a couple of cities at this point is striking a neighbor while they’re distracted, watching Latvia and the Selkups quietly build up is definitely not a fun sight.

Msurdej:  

Rome adopted Autocracy this part, and is still struggling to take Nancy off a beleaguered England. Still as master of the Mediterranean, Trajan is doing pretty okay. He's in the top 15 for production, science and armies, so he could be doing worse. Like Augutus in Mk2.

Nathanmasse:

Ndongo looks on with interest as the rest of the continent descends into war around them.  Sierra Leone pushes into Kanem territory, Saba seizes Pontus’ foothold of Damietta, and even Mogadishu takes a city from Vijayanagara.  We can only hope they are biding their time while they finish researching Flight to make their move.  We’ve seen recently how much of a difference having planes can make but they will need to act quickly or miss the opportunity as they’re only a few techs ahead of Saba and Mogadishu.

Nathanmasse:

Not much is new for Latvia this week.  They’re plotting against the Rozvi which is nice and all but there are surely more enticing options in the immediate vicinity.  Their core is shockingly sparse which has become somewhat of a pattern for them; perhaps they are simply planning to rely on the strength of the fortification on their border?  This is all well and good for a defensive war but if they hope to expand their empire, they will need to bulk up soon or be left behind.

NopeCopter:

The Thule continue to slowly but surely break down the Nivkh, and their stats are top-ten level. If they were anywhere else in the world, they’d be a major contender. Unfortunately, however, they are stuck between the Yellowknives and Goguryeo, who are both decidedly top-tier and don’t seem to be in any danger of losing that status. There just aren’t a whole lot of places for the Thule to grow, and that’s kind of a shame. Obviously their stats are still good and they’re not out of the game just yet, but victory is a seriously uphill battle from their icy prison.

Cloudy:

This was a big week for the Afsharids, as they finally awoke from their slumber and absolutely demolished the Khoshuts out of nowhere. Using large quantities of riflemen and planes, they stormed across the Indus Valley, through North India, and into the Himalayas, capturing six cities and threatening to take even more. After a long period of silence, and before that several poorly executed or inconclusive wars, we were pretty skeptical of the Afsharids—so this turn of events has piqued our interest. If they keep going, and if they can use their new captures to bring their stats up, a top 10 Afsharids will not only be in consideration, but I’d even call it likely.

Orange:

Palawa is 6th in stats, which you might be surprised to hear given how they have failed in every single war they’ve been in. They just continue to be in the shadow of their neighbors. They could hop in against Bora and hope to get away with some cities, or try against Noongar again and fail despite their advantage. But their time is limited, sooner or later Wahgi will turn against them, and they’ll probably crumble.

NopeCopter:

Zheng had a quiet last episode, which was probably a good thing given that the Wahgi woke up and could have very easily chosen to invade. For now, they should be distracted with Bora-Bora, but Zheng needs to act fast with this opportunity, lest they become the monster’s next meal. Unfortunately, after failing to take Ikko-Ikki, there aren’t a lot of options left - Singapore, maybe, but they get stronger and stronger with each passing turn. With top powers Wahgi and Goguryeo as their only other neighbors, could we be at the stage in the game where even 11th place has no hope of victory? I wouldn’t quite say that, but that time is fast approaching.

ECH:

For the past few episodes, it’s been widely accepted that Wahgi is at this moment basically a malfunctioning laser rifle spinning on the ground, waiting to go off and melt the unlucky civilian they’re pointing at into go. Well, now the rifle’s gone off against the person who arguably has the best shielding of the options… for what that’s worth. I’ll be truthful, I am maybe the wrong person to be doing this write-up since I’m an outlier in my pessimism: my choice to rank Bora-Bora way down at 22nd apparently being the statistically 3rd most controversial rank this week. Puni’s defenders on the PR team return to Poblometics often, that Wahgi has a mid war recond and Bora a great attitude to war instead; and that the stalemate seen this episode is proof of this, put simply.

My rationale is thus: yes, Bora-Bora has put up an admirable defense… with the forces they’ve spent dozens of turns developing, which are visibly thinning by the end of the last episode. Bora-Bora has the third lowest production per city on the cylinder, and at this point I imagine a disproportionate amount of their strength lies in their more yield-advantaged South American holdings, not their home core. Furthermore, we saw this exact situation already, remember! The first Wahgi-Bora war? Bora-Bora put up a strong counter, until they ran out of ships and Wahgi ended up taking gains, and that was back when Wahgi was actually behind in naval tech. In my view, Bora Bora is almost certainly going to be ‘glaciered’ by a rival that simply outproduces, not outfights, them. Now, some have replied to my theory further that losing the Pacific isn’t actually a game-ending situation, that Bora simply on South America is a genuinely contender… but I just have to disagree. New Holland and a growing Mexico are equal threats there, and the Pacific cities are core to Bora’s science especially. So yeah, in short, I’m not exactly feeling too good for Puni here, and would have them well out of the top 10 personally.

ECH:

From a neighbour of the existential threat suffering at its hands, we go to a neighbour of the existential threat prospering in its current disregard. Indeed, Singapore has for the first time in the season cracked the top 10! Obviously, this is owed to them finally cracking their Indian Ocean rival of Vijayanagara, ending the part with something like 66% or more of the cities their enemy held at the start of the part, every single coastal city sans one being flipped and one opportunistically grabbed by Mogadishu. I have my doubts that Lee Kuan Yew can speedily assemble a land force to invade the interior, but that’s hardly going to dampen the mood. Given the way Singapore is positioning itself, and arguably has to position itself to stand a chance if Wahgi targets them, as the naval warlord of the Indian Ocean with hundreds of tiles of naval domain, then conquering two inland Indian cities is hardly top priority. Now, maybe Mogadishu, Noongar or Qarmatians…?

NopeCopter:

Mexico’s invasion of Ecuador has kind of been overshadowed by all the destruction of fan favorites that occurred last episode, but I do feel the need to point out just how absolutely insane this invasion is. Invasions from Central America into South America do not happen, and when they do it’s always entirely naval (and usually toward Brazil). Strong Mesoamerican and Central American civs in general are rare, but between the rough coastline, the difficult terrain, and the sheer difficulty of maneuvering an army through Panama, I don’t think this particular invasion route has ever really been pulled off… until now. Mexico seems set to make legitimate gains against Ecuador, and if they do, it’ll make them the first power to span the Americas before the endgame, maybe ever. Mexico truly never fails to impress, except for all the times where they do nothing for ten episodes.

NopeCopter:

The days of Sierra Leone flailing ineffectually against the Alaouite rump state seem long gone as they not only secure cities in Iberia but also immediately hop into a war with Kanem-Bornu that might actually go somewhere. It’s generally been agreed that the first civ in Africa to conquer Kanem-Bornu will likely end up being the eventual winner of the continent (if one does arise), so this is a very, very good omen for Sierra Leone. Their status as a true power is far from certain - Rome, Saba-D’mt, and Ndongo will all probably put up a fight - but the city count advantage from absorbing Kanem-Bornu would be huge, and having planes (something they should achieve very soon) would give them a massive edge over their neighbors until they catch up.

Orange:

New Holland goes up because Bora goes down and I’d just like to point out the difference in rankins for them. Four people put them 5th, two 6th, two 12th, and me 13th. Somehow, with that, they get placed 6th. I for one, don’t have any faith in NH, like, they do not pass the vibe check. Now, it should be noted, they have a chance to take out Tiwanaku, so that’s something! But that one city, cut off from the rest of their empire, surrounded by Bora and mountains, doesn’t seem like it’s the best outcome. But I guess we will see. Maybe if they figure out how to use their army against an actual power like Bora they could get some gains.

ECH:

The Selkups again rise into the top 5… albeit pretty certainly they owe more to Wahgi bringing down Bora Bora than their actions this episode. What actions this episode? Exactly.

NopeCopter:

Quiet episode for the Yellowknives as they continue to build up and bask in their status as a great power. They can’t get complacent, not with both the Thule and Mexico expanding, but they’re not in quite as big a hurry as some other civs. They should probably go back to take out the Osage before Mexico gets any funny ideas, though. Their core looks a bit empty but the units within are real strong, Artillery is always terrifying and Landships are what Turkey used to roll over the Permians, and their fleet is made of mostly steel ships. It’s just a question of what they do with their troops, and whether they fall victim to the same curse that the Pueblo did.

Orange:

Gogurt falls to third for the first time since part 13, wew, what a dominant streak. But it’s because the Faroes are proving themselves as maybe potentially slightly competent at the whole “expanding through war and not just settling” thing, and well, about 1,000 production above Wahgi/Gogurt. But hey, Gogurt got their effective science up above Wahgi, and should be able to claw themselves back to the top. Maybe a war against Zheng or Ikko Ikki will clear things up.

ECH:

Booo. Boooooooo.

Maybe that’s unfair, or even some latent nationalism I didn’t think I had for my home nation, but man, it feels to me like nobody was rooting for Faroes here. But Trondur doesn’t care what you or I think. He doesn’t care if we considered him ‘boring’ or ‘sleepy’ for over a dozen episodes. He’s shameless about his useless civilian UU fleet trawling, or perhaps more truthfully trolling, the Atlantic. Our jeers when he lost a war to bloody Seneca? Nothing to him. Because he knows he’s above us. Why on Earth should he feel belittled in any sense, he has built an undoubtedly grand empire from a cold set of rocks and dirt in the North Atlantic that has dominated the stats from the Ancient Era without stop. What makes him a villain, playing the game as best he can? Maybe if England weren’t such weak pickings they’d still be on Britain, you think about that, huh?! Maybe criticise him when YOU lead a top civ that has never left the top 5 IN THE ENTIRE SEASON, scrub.

… … Wow I don’t like this image of Trondur I’ve invented.

Reformer:

Fresh off of giving Siam a shellacking they’ll never forget, Wahgi has decided to turn on Bora next. Ambitious, sure, but if anyone can do it, it’s Wahgi. There are some problems with Wahgi’s masterplan, though.

Firstly, due to the aforementioned War In Siam, a sizable portion of Wahgi’s strength was still in South East Asia when the war declaration came in. This includes a sizable portion of the Wahgi airforce. No worries though right, planes move around very quickly! Right…? Well, you might think so, but by the end of the episode, Wahgi had minimal planes on the front. Peculiar, that’s all I can say.

Secondly, Wahgi is spending a strange amount of resources on harassing various distant Bora cities, such as the South American coast, or Bora’s Antarctican colonies. These attacks seem half-hearted at best, and certainly not intended to take cities. Is the point to just distract Bora’s units? It’s hard to tell if it’s working. But Wahgi has enough units to throw at these plans that might or might not work.

Finally, much of the fighting so far has been done by embarked Wahgi land units. Not ALL of it, obviously, but a significant amount. That’s kinda just what happens when you have a massive land army in the archipelago. All those advanced units, just dust in the wind…bodies covering the bottom of the Pacific…

…but even then, these unnecessary losses have hardly made a dent in Wahgi’s numbers. Militarily, Wahgi still outnumbers Bora approximately 10:1, and having more than twice Bora’s production certainly helps. Despite Wahgi’s shortcomings in the strategic and tactical sense, eventually pure numbers overwhelm the quality of leadership. And the numbers are more than overwhelmingly in Wahgi’s favor.