Power Rankings: Episode 39 – S4

Orange:

I am not the poet that Nope is, I sadly can not write a 2500 word eulogy for the greatest civ of the royale. But Bora deserves that, more than England does in my opinion, so however long this ends up being will have to do, and we can go get Coiot to shorten every other eulogy to be shorter than this one. It’s only fair.

Anyways, I started loving Bora-Bora from before the game began, I saw them in the voting and I think I had seen them in an AI game before, and I thought “Wow these guys seem great”. Like, nice colors, fun civ, looks like they could be an actual contender, and of course, their name is just one word repeated twice, which makes me want to say BORABORABORABORABORAORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORA.

That of course led me to ardently support them in the voting and to make a civball for them which I’m quite proud of tbh. I wasn’t sure between Pueblo and Bora-Bora which was my favorite, but I did have that clear top two. So, to start the game, of course, Bora-Bora was a little slow, Wahgi had gotten off to a settling spree start while Bora was more content to sit around, but in a number of tests they had done a real funny thing, the same thing that Mohave had done last time: Settle in a random place, notably in Argentina. And they went and did that. And just like that, boom, instant top tier unstoppable holders of the power of love.

They still were slow on settling though, both in the home islands and in South America, Wahgi was encroaching on their turf in the west while they didn’t put out enough to stop Tehuelche’s expansion in the east. But they persisted, and started to actually expand and grow for a bit.

Now at this point they hadn’t really done any warring. Around turn 70 they fought with Big River but that didn’t go anywhere, and then around turn 100 they fought with Tehuelche to a similar end. But it wasn’t until their second war with Big River, where in part 12 they had the opportunity to elevate themselves. Big River was being coalitioned, and Bora was in the midst of settling more islands, but they took their South American colonies and pumped out troops to go fight, it seemed easy, one city for each of them, Tiwanaku, and New Holland. But then NH took two. But Big River had two comp bows and a horseman, and they used those to take back their capital, and then Bora, like the bad bitch they are, waltzed in and stole the capital from under Maurits’ nose. Beautiful. Perfection. Solidified themselves as the best civ right then and there.

After that was a reprieve for a bit until they took on Tiwanaku where Bora had huge gains, especially grabbing all the islands Tiwanaku had settled and even a city on the Peruvian coast. Though while the Tiwanaku war was a big gain, they did also run into a Wahgi war at the same time, where they lost one island city against someone who was quite a larger foe even at the time. Then it was a much longer wait, around 100 turns, before Bora-Bora turned their focus once more to Tiwanaku. This was a long, drawn out war, but it resulted in Bora taking nearly everything Tiwanaku had (besides the bits that Ecuador took in the coalition of course). It put Bora almost on top of the whole continent. Riding off the coattails of that, Bora went further and took out Tehuelche, securing the entire southern half of the continent. It was also their peak.

Less than 20 turns after Tehuelche was taken out, Wahgi declared war on Bora-Bora, in this war Bora slowly, oh so slowly, lost nearly everything. But let’s pause for a second because there’s some more interesting things here. I want to point out Bora’s war record before this. In the 400 turns before the Wahgi declaration, Bora-Bora was involved in 12 wars, 11 of which were started by Bora, the only one started by someone else was the first Wahgi-Bora war, a war which saw Bora take a city, and then Wahgi take it back and take one of Bora’s cities. Within the 11 wars started by Bora-Bora, 4 of them were non-relevant wars (against Mag, Osage, England, and Nivkh, though you could argue that the Mag one is relevant). Of the relevant wars, only the first two resulted in no gains. Which is all to say, it’s a startling good war record. Like, Bora has consistently shown themselves to be good at war, and strategic about war. They have gotten involved in very few careless wars, and have won (or drawn) every war they started, with the only war they lost up until this point being one against a much stronger foe where they still took a city and kept it mostly even. Then Wahgi vs Bora-Bora II hit.

The second Wahgi-Bora war was the tipping point, the point where young icarus flew too close to the sun and got smited for it. But let it be known that Bora did not go down without a fight. I’ve gone into detail about this war in various places already but I just need to assert, Wahgi fucking sucks. For such a strong civ they sure are shit, at least on the water. They were struggling to take Bora’s cities for multiple parts, cities that had little defense and were staffed with much much weaker troops. It was Wahgi’s war to lose and the first part of it could hardly be counted as a win. But, as it was, the incredible tech lead slowly knocked down the legs of Bora-Bora, and after many many turns, their islands started to crumble and they fell back to the eastern continent. There we saw yet another stand, despite Wahgi being able to start paradropping. They fought and they fought and they fought but there is little one can do when fighting the strongest military force on the cylinder that outclasses you by 10 to 1.

The sorrow didn’t quite end there though, after finally, finally getting peace, and giving up many of the remaining cities, New Holland, the reaper of the Americas, decided it was time to do what they do best, and take out the rumpified state. And that is where it stands, a sad end to by far the most interesting empire of the game, taken out by utter villains because they dared to dream.

This goes out to Puni, may he ride high forever in our dreams.

BORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORA

Msurdej:  

Every Civ Battle Royale, there is a civ that grossly underperforms, having a mediocre performance when it should have been a top tier civ. Mk2 had Poland and China, X1 Had Qing, X2 had Sweden, X3 had Rio De La Plata. When we were doing the rankings for part 0, I had a feeling that we'd have another Civ like that in this Civ BR.  I don't remember why I called out Seneca: maybe it was vibes, maybe it was non-conformity, but I ended up putting the Seneca remarkably low, into the 30s.  

AND I WAS RIGHT.  

Cornplanter did somewhere between diddly-dang and squiddly-squat. They sat by and let the Osage box them in, and failed to ever get higher than a handful of cities. Sure, they managed to curb the Faroe Islands cross continental expansion for a time, and managed to hold out against a large coalition, but these were way easier to do in the early game when they happened. Their inability to win was all but confirmed in this manner, it was just a matter of when. Greater civs like Bora-Bora, Visigoths, and Mexico died before them. Honestly, the most exciting thing about Seneca's death is that New New Holland keeps expanding. Rest in peace Cornplanter, you will barely be remembered.

Leman:

Oh Taino, gone in a flash of nuclear hellfire. It goes to show that even being ranked in the relative middle of the pack won’t save you if one of the biggest civs decides to point its military your way.

Taino was never a civ with a lot of lofty expectations laid upon it. Its inclusion was somewhat worrisome, even, starting in the Caribbean instead of on the South American continent meant that there was a lot of free land for New Holland to gobble up. Plus, Caribbean civs have never been able to recreate the power of the Buccaneers from Mk2. Taino was entirely expected to be a weak civ that floated around until someone actually strong took them out.

Taino quickly bucked that expectation. They settled decently well, filling out the Caribbean quickly. They used their solid uniques and island buffs to power out a decent enough economy keeping pace, technologically at least, with the pack. Then, they let lose their singular flash of brilliance. A series of wars to rump and then subsequently eliminate Florida. Granted Florida had been one of the weakest civilizations throughout the entire game, but picking up any eliminations was a vast overperformance for Taino.

And after moving to Florida, Taino retired. Taino didn’t need to do anything else, because, compared to where they started the royale, they already had kind of won. They already achieved all they needed to achieve, more than anyone ever thought they would achieve. There were a few token skirmishes with Osage, and a robust mid-tier economy, sure but clearly Taino wasn’t really trying anymore.

New Holland wiped Taino off the map without much of a second thought. It took a total of 12 turns for Taino to be completely conquered, obliterated by the first completely unprovoked nuclear assault of the game. It was a little much, but honestly, I’m happy that New Holland decided to go with merciful, ruthless efficiency. We can remember Taino for the plucky underdog they were and not whatever rump they may have become. RIP

Reformer:

Oh my god Qarmback! Oh they’re dead again goddammit Singapore. Oh my god Qarmback!

…

They’re still alive! What a rollercoaster of an episode for everyone’s favorite Arabian civ. But as funny as this 𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓷𝓽 was, they’re still just waiting to die (again again). Indeed, who’s to say Singapore’s bloodlust is sated? Or that Pontus doesn’t still harbor a grudge? Or Mogadishu won’t bulldoze them just to get back at the weakened Saba? And Saba themselves, what would stop them from making the mistake of killing Qarmatians themselves? It’s time to pick your poison, except the poison picks you.

Reformer:

Poor Thule, once again bullied by Ikko-Ikki and Goguryeo. And this time, Faroes joined in on the fun too, essentially guaranteeing that this pitiful rump will meet its demise. Down to one city with plenty of Ikko units on their way (thanks to open borders through Yellowknives, who will cherish this moment forever), Thule has no future, and their death will certainly be the first noteworthy event of the next episode. Good riddance, says I.

Lasqueto:

All quiet on the Shang front, bar a few DoWs. Word about the strange anachronism hidden within Goguryeo is getting around I guess. None of the combatants have open borders with Goguryeo though, so Daji's still sitting pretty. She's also on track to out-tech the Visigoths, hilariously, so I pray Goguryeo waits until after that happens before snuffing out Shang for a second time.

NopeCopter:

The Visigoths rise another three ranks as three more civs perish before their time. The Visigoths have not perished yet - this is about the only good thing left to say about them. They have passed the point of being a silly and endearing rump state, and are now instead widely maligned for their inability to take a hint and take their leave. They’ve outlived several fan favorites and former superpowers despite their best efforts, and they couldn’t even do a funny thing and recapture one of their old cities during the wars on Rome. Tragically, for every episode they live on, for every civilization they outlast, their already-poor legacy will be tarnished even further. It is a fate worse than death, but at least their Power Ranking keeps going up.

Reformer:

Saba’s time in the sun comes to an abrupt end, finally, thanks to Sierra Leone’s efforts. Firstly, with the war, and then with the peace deal, confining Saba to a mere two cities, separated by the Red Sea. An ignoble fate for a civ that had so many opportunities given to them. But wait, they weren’t quite done. Seeing their opportunity to try and repair their reputation even a bit before it all inevitably ends, Saba decided that NOW was an apt time to attack Mogadishu. And to their credit…it kind of worked. Saba blitzed through the ill-prepared cities of Hajar and Safwan with what remained of their military, but this of course was short-lived. Mogadishu swiftly counterattacked, taking back the cities, and…they resurrected Qarmatians, not once, but TWICE? Ultimately, for Saba this meant that they were safe from Mogadishu’s wrath, as Qarmatians ended up a buffer state between the two (despite Singapore’s best attempt). After everything’s said and done, Saba is still stuck in their two cities, and Qarmatians have stolen the spotlight. Alas, even when Saba tries to do something, they become a background character. Truly this is representative of their entire history in x4.

ECH:

If you’d have told me Kazan was gonna lose a city before last episode, I’d have believed you: I proposed after E38 that Bukhara could perhaps grab one through air power and grind. If you’d have told me Kazan was going to gain a city I could also have believed that: maybe Bukhara would have gotten overwhelmed, or perhaps they would join in on a collapsing Latvia and snipe one city from the Selkups efforts.

If you’d have told me they were going to gain one new city and lose one established city of theirs, I’d definitely have struggled to envision such a set of events, but that’s what’s happened! Latvia’s ill judgement of declaring war on them, an action that would have done well even an episode ago, backfired hard and lost them Alexandrovsk to Kazan; only to be followed up with a surrender of Bolgar to Bukhara, presumably intimidated by their new infantry units coming up against old riflemen. Now, is a 3 rank rise justified from this? They ultimately lost more pop than they gained, and are still stuck with no prospects… but on the other hand, their potential eliminators are distracted, other civs are dying faster, and they showed some fighting spirit, and doesn’t that matter most?!

Orange:

Fuckin’ lmao. I love this stupid civ.

Msurdej:  Rome continues to lick its wounds after the shellacking it received from Sierra Leone and the Faroe Islands a few parts ago. Its current wars aren't very relevant, but at this point, the Roman Empire is in decline. 22 is bottom ten material nowadays, and it's only a matter of time before one of the aforementioned civs come in for the kill. Or maybe the AI will throw us for a loop and Pontus will kill them.

ECH:

Say it with me: It was a quiet part for Bavaria! Straight up chilling in his cultured lands, Ludwig is. Faroes citadels are starting to bite, but on the other hand, he did unlock the power of the atom for his civ, joining a pretty packed club at this point. I suppose with Latvia’s troubles, it’s worth considering what they could grab in the event of a declaration of war on their troubled neighbor. However, I must state my doubts as to how much even a full success there would mean against the looming Faroese threat.

Msurdej:  

Galdan Khan had two moderately important mentions in this part. The first was where the Dzungars declared war on the Shang, which will sadly go almost nowhere due to Goguryeo being in the way. The second was their completion of the Manhattan Project, though it's less impressive now that nukes have been used in war. While they're in a stronger position than Rome or Bavaria, it's still only a matter of time before the Dzungars are eliminated. I give it 70% to Goguryeo, 25% Selkups, 5% somebody else.

Orange:

Well that’s a nice little jump, but it does have to be said that with both Seneca and Taino gone, Osage is now fully  surrounded by the Yellowknives and New Holland. Like there’s nowhere else to go right now. So maybe Osage needs to hope that one of the two gets jumped and they can somehow claw some land out from the fall. Otherwise it’s really just a waiting game to see how long the Yellowknives’ protective stance remains.

Nathanmasse:

Noongar is in a bit of a tough spot, to say the least.  They are notably weaker than any of their neighbors so their only hope is to eventually catch up after the other civs have finished the tech tree.  As long as they remain solvent there's a chance, but that's still a long way off and I fear their current deficit will continue to increase.

Nathanmasse:

It seems Ikko Ikki has decided mercy is overrated and has come back to finish off Thule. It should be quite easy this time too.  They have a relatively large army for their size and their units have spread all over the cylinder, just as Wahgi's had previously.  It's too bad they're sandwiched between Goguryeo and Yellowknives  as they could otherwise still try to expand further, although with Holy Wars anything's possible.

Cloudy:

This sadly wasn’t a great episode for Mogadishu. First, they failed to jump on Saba while they still could, allowing Sierra Leone to take all but two Sabaean cities, and cutting off Mogadishu’s most promising expansion option. Then, after Saba made peace with Sierra Leone, all their remaining units were packed into those two cities right next to Mogadishu... so Makeda declared war and captured two Mogadishawi cities almost right away. Abu Bakr rallied and took them both back, but instead of keeping them he liberated the Qarmatians twice. Singapore then took the first one, but the Qarmatians are still alive and not at war, annoying us power rankers greatly. Nevertheless, it was only a net loss of one city for Mogadishu, because Palawa also declared war on them, causing Abu Bakr to easily capture a far-flung Palawan island city. But that’s small consolation.

Cloudy:

Ume-Sami rises a rank as a once-in-a-blue-moon opportunity appears before them. If they attacked Latvia right now, they would gain numerous cities, as Latvia puts everything they have into defending against the Selkups. But will they do it? Counting on Ume-Sami to do anything at all seems to be a losing battle. And in fact, Ume-Sami joined some of the wars on Latvia’s side. So I wouldn’t hold my breath.

Leman:

Oof, Latvia is taking a beating. They dropped four cities to Selkups, but luckily seemed to have stemmed the bleeding and turned the war into an absolute grind. It seems, from my perch, that Latvia seems to have found a defensive line they can hold well enough against the Selkups but judging by the way the war has been going and the stats differential between the two, I would be surprised if Latvia ever reclaimed the cities it lost. In fact, I’m sort of expecting Selkups to slowly grind Latvia down, the longer the war goes on, and wouldn’t be surprised if Selkups managed to seize another city or two before peace is called.

Also, Latvia lost a city to Kazan in the scuffle and that’s embarrassing.

Reformer:

What’s there to say about Zheng? They still live under the thumb of Wahgi, and they still have a large land border with Goguryeo. That’s not an enviable position and it has not gotten any better in the last dozen episodes. In case you wanted a reminder, the last time Zheng was in a relevant war was turn 379, against Ikko-Ikki. The current turn is 629. Just some 150 more turns of pacifism and they’ll have spent half the game doing nothing! Easy as pie. Honestly disappointing considering how fun they were for that first half of the game, but as it turns out, being between two superpowers is pretty rough for your sovereignty. I personally think Zheng can hold their head high either way. They did well, comparatively. Unfortunately, nobody will remember the civs that did just okay.

NopeCopter:

Pontus has another fairly quiet episode, rising a single rank off of Latvia’s fall despite not really profiting off it (and being tied with Ndongo until the last minute in the Power Rankings). Their takedown of the Qarmatians was nice, yes, but this is the stage of the game where even mid-tiers are in serious danger, so they should really take a hint from Latvia and use this momentum to start picking off other rump states nearby. Like… well, Latvia. Rome is tricky, but they might be a decent option, too. Maybe they could even invade Saba-D’mt. As long as they actually launch an invasion and win.

Lasqueto:

With Saba getting wiped out, Nzinga gets one more nail in her coffin. Before now, there was always the dream she might roll into Ethiopia and truly rival Peters for best African civ. Now she's pretty firmly relegated to second fiddle, in a game where second fiddles get smashed up for firewood. It's not all bad though; Ndongo has a lead on Sierra Leone techwise. They're definitely losing in a drawn out conflict though. On the other hand, they don't share a border with the Faroes; Peters does and he's kinda fucked because of it. I could actually see Ndongo outlasting Sierra, though probably not for very long.

Leman:

Same as they’ve ever been. Palawa is locked behind Wahgi, unable to expand anywhere except Noongar. And the last seven or whatever wars against Noongar went absolutely nowhere so I’m not holding my breath. To make matters worse, Palawa is broke now. So, they’re pulling a Wahgi, but they’re 12 techs behind and have a quarter of the military. What a disappointing fate for a civ with so much potential.

They gained a rank because their stats are decent, I guess. And Latvia got smacked around. And nobody cares about that one city Palawa lost to Mogadishu.

Msurdej:  

Singapore was making some small moves this part, managing to take another city in the confusion of the Yemeni coast conflict. Still, they go down a rank as they suffer from Wahgi troops covering a large portion of their lands. Furthermore, while they have a significant population, they are lacking in their production (they just got into the top 10 this episode, partially due to the fall of Latvia), which is why we gave the 8th spot this week to...

Leman:

Afsharids haven’t really changed much since we last checked in. They’re a strong civ that’s suffering from a really bad case of filled-with-Wahgi-units-itis. Which really sucks because other than that Afsharids are really quite strong. They’ve still got an economy and are still generating science. In this day and age that’s really, really good, because it means that they might just finish the tech tree by the time total war rolls around. And if you remember Afghanistan from S3, you’ll remember how important and impactful that is. So, there’s a simple to-do list for Afsharids: 1. Kick out Wahgi, 2. Keep making science. And 3. Kill Bukhara.

ECH:

The events of this episode have been a long time coming for Vonya, with Latvia serving as a hardy but fairly clearly lower-tier rival of the Selkups for dozens of episodes now. The execution of this somewhat inevitable conflict has been… debatable. To be clear, Vonya is winning. They have taken major cities from Latvia and have driven their enemies' effective military score below 100,000, while retaining forces over three times that for themselves. Furthermore, they still have double the production total Latvia can bring to the fight. By all accounts, over the next episode the Selkups are probably going to keep doing what they’ve done: push Latvia back and take major cities.

So, if they’re grinding down a major neighbor, why are we downgrading them? Where’s the hype? Well, for starters, that initial overview neglects the counterattack Latvia has been mounting; ensuring every gain gets flipped into rubble and that their frontline needs constant replenishment to keep the campaign going. The lack of a major tech imbalance here (Latvia is actually 3 techs ahead) is quite apparent, alongside the fairly narrow front available to both sides, which has allowed some equalisation of forces. In this stage of the game where top civ stats seem to rise exponentially, seeing the Selkups actually lose 5% of their effective military score between episodes is a bit of a red flag, albeit an explainable one. Finally, as ever, there’s the explanation that it’s not Selkups necessarily going down as much as the new 6th placer (spoiler: it’s Sierra Leone) rising on account of their own consolidations. In any case, these are interesting times for the Selkups, and isn’t that one of the worst curses you can inflict upon someone?

Nathanmasse:

Sierra Leone wanted to leave no doubt as to who was the greatest civ in Africa, handily overrunning Saba Dm't. I must admit I didn't expect them to be so successful so quickly, but I guess that just goes to show what a modern airforce and mobile units can accomplish.  Now their main concern is catching up in techs; as it currently stands they're at just 84, well behind Faroe Islands (115), New Holland (102), and even Ndongo (90).

NopeCopter:

The Yellowknives drop a spot as New Holland’s momentum continues to pick up, leaving North America’s powerhouse with fewer and fewer options for further expansion. The Yellowknives are definitely far from irrelevant, with stats that still place them in fourth overall on the statistics despite their low city count (until New Holland gets their new captures online at least), and they still do have the Osage to potentially conquer, but things are getting rough. The Thule have been taken out by Goguryeo and the Ikko-Ikki, the Taino have fallen to New Holland… the Yellowknives need to act fast or they’ll be out of minor civs to pick off. That said, even if this does happen, they’re not entirely doomed - Goguryeo, the Faroes, New Holland, and even the Wahgi have colonies nearby that the Yellowknives might be able to pick off with some focus fire - but it would be a whole lot easier to go after civs that aren’t already ranked higher than them.

Cloudy:

This week, New Holland broke a hard ceiling that lasted for 18 episodes, overtaking the Yelloknives to rise into 4th place, just behind the big three. There’s certainly no shortage of reasons why. New Holland eliminated no less than three civs this episode, finishing off Bora-Bora before entirely conquering Seneca, except for the parts that Osage got, like the capital. And then, as if that wasn’t enough, they attacked Taino—a civ that had never lost a city since the start of the game, a civ that was in the top 10 in tech and had a reasonable army—and completely eliminated them in just 7 turns. It was one of the most thorough dismantling in recent CBR memory. New Holland now controls a continuous stretch of land and ocean stretching from Quebec, through the Caribbean, across South America, down to Antarctica. The east coast of the Americas is essentially uncontested from top to bottom. New Holland’s stats are yet to catch up—they’re still behind the Yellowknives—but once these cities come online, which should happen fast, they’ll be a monster. They have only one less city than the Faroe Islands.

All this having been said, their army still needs to catch up with the sheer size of their empire, and if Wahgi attacked them right now, Bolim would win. But New Holland is doing everything it needs to join that topmost tier within a few episodes.

Lasqueto:

These guys are just silly. They somehow doubled (yes doubled) their debt last episode to a staggering loss of 29k per turn. I didn't even think it was possible to get more in debt but Bolim once again proved me wrong. The upshot is their science finally flatlined and has left them stuck at 99 techs, where they'll doubtless remain. The other two frontrunners have left them in the dust at this point and even Yellowknives and New Holland are past them now. This sounds damning but the fact is the Wahgi still have an army nearly 4 times bigger than the runner up and could easily wipe most civs off the map soon as blinking. As a result most people don't really know what to make of them. Some think their tech freeze will make them fall off, while others think it won't even matter.

Nathanmasse:

Near the end of the episode, Faroe Islands realized they hadn't done all that much, so decided to piggy-back in Ikko Ikki's war with Thule.  While we didn't get to see it yet, Thule's eastern city of Torngat was quickly captured and Faroe Islands might just be able to get a paratrooper in range of their last eastern city as well.  Beyond that, they have no shortage of options.  They are very near the end of the tech tree and may reach it by the end of the next episode.  If Trondur can harness his peoples' energy during this short window of technological superiority, he could well find himself in a winning position.

Orange:

Gogurt’s actually third in stats right now cause of their lack of production, about half the production of Wahgi and Faroes, but they make up for it everywhere else. But more importantly, just in vibes. Like, Wahgi’s economic situation is utterly fucked and are in a spiral, and the Faroes are just like, y’know, the Faroes, they struggle with war and doing things. Gogurt though? On top of things. Just took a ton from Thule and are now getting those cities online, and have pretty easy expansion paths in the Selkups, Dzungars, Zheng, and their vassal Ikko-Ikki. Gogurt’s sitting pretty right now, just gotta keep flexing their muscles to assert their position.