Power Rankings: Episode 5 – S4

Msurdej:  Okay, I’m going to say something shocking: I don’t think the Shawnee are going to be the first to die. Sure, they’re a city state at this point. Sure they have garbage stats. Sure they’re pretty boxed in. But let me ask you this: Who’s going to kill them? The Osage are weak, The Seneca are catboys, and everyone else is too far away to matter. While they aren’t going to leave the bottom ten, they will probably not leave first.

JDT: The Rozvi are just waiting for the worms now, dead bulls withering in the droughts of the Serengeti. No prospects, no stats, no hope.

Altima:

The Finns started this part by being an awful-statted runt just north of a surprise success story whose settlements have boxed them the hell in. The also ended the part by continuing to be an awful-statted runt just north of a surprise success story whose settlements have boxed them the hell in. Finns suck, man.

Vihreaa:

Kalmyks are really just banished to Georgia (not the state) at this point. They’re weaker than all of their neighbors and have nowhere to expand into. GG next?

Reformer:

Hey guys, resident sleeper Tehuelche here. Today, I’ll be teaching you how to sleep. Just do after me.

[The Power Rankers™ are not responsible for sleep-related accidents.]

Emu:

Makhno is about to make or break his entire game. After giving away Ekaterinoslav and tanking his chances, everyone thought it was over for our brothers in black. But here they look poised to take that back, and Latvian Rezekne to boot. If they can swing that, they have a solid five-city core to start building from. If not, that's it. No more chances. Everyone else is about to start solidifying, and Makhnovia will be left behind, full of broken dreams and expectations squashed. Everything on black, and let it ride.

Reformer:

THEY BUILT A SETTLER! MAMLUKS BUILT A SETTLER! And they used it, too! Woo! Hence, we’ve moved them up three whole spots…no reason currently to believe they’ll go anywhere regardless of the third city.

Rosay:

Osage moves up a spot in the rankings this time, but that is mostly just noise with a pinch of shock from them holding back Seneca. Looking past that, you have a civ that only continues to live due to Pueblo taking a bit to move their army in, Mexico weighing its best expansion routes, and everyone directly east of them just kinda sucking at life. Yeah don't expect these guys to be a surprise comeback civ anytime soon.

Cloudy:

Nothing happened in the Rio Grande-Bora-Bora war, but Rio grande did settle a sneaky city in New Holland’s armpit that will surely be lost if those two ever go to war. We’ve raised them one rank for trying.

Leman:

Hello. Florida still sucks. Nothing has changed.

JDT:

Kazan drops to 51st after losing Elista to Bukhara, relegating them to two cities…

And as I write that I find out they settled a fourth city offscreen. No matter. Their predicament hasn’t changed. They’re firmly quashed below a litany of stronger, more militarized foes, taking the dubious honour of worst European civ that is not the Finns. Even their weakest foe in Bukhara has proven capable of manhandling them with ease. No science, no stats, not much space left, and no future. A true disappointment from Möxämmädämin, whöm we äll viewed with high expectätiöns.

Leman:

As Royal Hungary fails to settle and continues to stagnate their own growth by killing off their own citizens, they keep sinking in the rankings. We’ve finally hit the point where their self sabotage has earned them the spot of worst European [editor’s note: Kazan doesn’t count I guess lmao], sinking even below the Italian civ that hasn’t yet settled a single city on the Italian subcontinent. Honestly, I’m glad the flavor is on point, but as a Royal Hungary supporter it is sad.

Orange:

Well, it seems the Caribbean is going to quickly be out of Taino hands, can’t say that’ll go well for them. Maybe they can put those unique great generals to use? No? Definitely not? Ah well, who could’ve seen that one coming.

Msurdej:  

Eswantini and Ndongo might be at war while sharing a border, but don’t expect any cities to flip. Sure Nhlagano took some damage this episode, but it was fine during the last shot we saw of it. Furthermore, with another settler, Mdluli could go and settle Madagascar. Doing so will give them an even bigger boost than the one they got this part.

Leman:

It's almost turn 100 and our Italian civ has settled 0 cities on the Italian peninsula. That’s kinda sad. That’s very sad. At least Rome isn’t actively killing their own citizens, so they aren’t the worst civ in Europe.

Vihreaa:

I will not lie, I copy-pasted Vijayanagara into this text bubble when mentioning them. In fact, every time I mention Vijayanagara by name I will be utilizing the paste button of command-shift-V on my laptop. At the end of the day, Vijayanagara is just fundamentally a difficult word to spell and would have taken me just a slightly larger amount of effort than I usually expend in order to learn how to spell this word. Other than that, Vijayanagara had another unremarkable part, as they realize they are sectioned off from the rest of the world, the curse of the Indian peninsula.

Leman:

Crow miraculously manages to hold on to its city against the Yellowknives, something that a lot of power rankers were not convinced that they could do. They’re still in a terrible, terrible spot, but they aren’t really on the cusp of death like other North American civs. And that earns them a few spots in the rankings.

Cloudy:

The other shoe has dropped for Mogadishu. For a while now we were waiting for them to turn into the stats powerhouse that they so often were in the tests, to wake up and settle some new cities, but they just haven’t. They still have only three cities, which is just not acceptable at this point in the game, and they allowed Saba to take some lands that could have been theirs. Now they’re running out of options. It’s not over yet for Mogadishu, but boy are they not trying very hard to convince us of that.

Cloudy:

Bavaria really did not have a good time this week. They declared war on Royal Hungary despite having a smaller army, predictably got nowhere, then made peace. They settled the last spot they possibly could and missed out on way more because they dilly-dallied and allowed the Faroes to settle Denmark. So now they’re boxed in with only four cities and nowhere to go. Consensus is, they’re fucked.

Orange:

Seneca continues to struggle with the concept of doing things, or well, they are at war with Osage, just, aren’t doing anything there. And now that the Faroes are settling the northern coast, Seneca is losing its major advantage so far: Lots of land. If they don’t move quickly to settle the rest of it, then they’re gonna get stuck with a shitty four city line that is so easy to invade that they’ll be gone before we know it.

Emu:

The 'Gundy is starting to look like a victim to classic European overcrowding. They'd be doing fairly well anywhere else, but here? They can't win a war against Bavaria, they can't win a war against the Visigoths, they have absolutely nowhere to go but infinite stalemate unto death. What are they going to do, hop on a Faroe conquest of England? Burgundy is down with the rats, and they just don't have enough tails to be king.

Reformer:

Dai Viet is still getting left in the dust, more or less. Even Siam has improved pretty nicely now, and Zheng of course has been statistically above-average for a while now. Singapore is still climbing, and Maguindanao is being aggressive. What claim to fame does Dai Viet have? A widespread religion? Well…holy wars are a thing, maybe it’ll do something. But, come on, there’s more to the game than this…

JDT:

Beyond a pale of withered hopes

Lay a king of lions robes

With a sword shifting like satans fingers

Who hath dedicated himself to linger

But who laid his nation to rest

For the sole goal of preventing duress

A curse befall ignoble thee

Such that you may never see

But thou shalt grow, like creeping vines

One at a time, slowly through the lines

Victim of ghost of mind

Henry the Lionheart, king most kind

Leman:

Saba D’mt is having one of the more impressive comebacks for a part 12 civ that didn’t settle at all. I’m very proud of them. They’re still lagging behind in tech, but they’ve hopped up to five cities and an overall decent economy. They don’t look fantastic, but they look a hell of a lot better than their closest neighbor, Mogadishu, who is doing absolutely nothing. One of the reasons that Saba was ranked so low in the beginning of the game was due to how we expected Mogadishu to crush them quickly, but I think Saba is a quite powerful civ. So, in a world where Saba is playing the game and Mogadishu is not, I have high hopes for them.

Leman:

A 23 rank drop seems kind of harsh for a civ who only lost a single city in a single war. However the PR team thinks it’s warranted because the PR team thinks that both Alaouites and Kanem Bornu are much stronger now.

But not me! Sierra Leone’s still great, Alaouites suck, Kanem Bornu made peace, everything’s gonna be fine. Alaouites look scary with their large army and 7 cities but their non-capital cities are all dogshit desert hellholes that are not going to do anything until their UI is unlocked with Chivalry. Sierra Leone’s core is just better. And yeah Kanem Bornu is better, but their stats are at best mediocre, and they just peaced out. Sierra Leone’s aren’t great either but they have all the time in the world to rebuild. I’m optimistic!

Also, the Alaouites suck.

Reformer:

Welp, they actually let Shang have Old Sarai. And notably settled New Sarai to make up for it. Funny as all hell, but letting Shang just have the city is still sad. Mongolia had troops - just not anywhere close to the city. And then they made peace right after Shang flipped the city. Utterly unimpressive. Still, despite it all, their stats are on the rise, thanks to the continued settling in spite of the blunder that was Old Sarai. It’s important to keep your morale up even when the going gets rough, after all!

Msurdej:  Leovigild is stuck in the Iberian peninsula, by Burgundy to the north, and England’s navy off the coast. Thankfully, Emerita is a one tile port, and they now have their UU, the Gardingo. Hopefully they can use it against Burgundy sometime soon.

Emu:

Singapore has come far from their original 61st rank, but Timor-Leste they are not. With Mag and Siam in the area, they're more likely to be an Indonesia. I'm not saying they have no chance, just that their chances aren't as good as some others in SEA. These guys need a navy.

Reformer:

Wow, who knew they had that dog in them? Kanem-Bornu takes aim and actually takes the shot. Bo is fuckin’ GONE. (Which is not to say K-B razed the city. They definitely kept it.) Sierra Leone has no army left, the Alaouites are settling flat desert, and Ndongo is focused in the south. Now the problem is that despite this impressive victory, K-B fuckin’ sucks. They got nothing going for ‘em. Bottom of the barrel stats. They’re gonna have to REALLY get it together and soon, or they’ll have no path to world conquest, occasional impressive military victories notwithstanding.

Rosay:

You guys, can you believe it? The Qarmatians finally decided to play the game. This part the Qarmatians finally decided to use the army that has frankly been idling by in the middle of the desert, and have actually pushed the Afsharids back to Persia with minimal difficulty. They are even settling cities for themselves too, and are beginning to actually look like a threatening early game regional power. Ok maybe that's going too far but there still a lot of room for the Qarmatians to continue growing and while i don't think their advancement into Afsharid territory is going to go much further due to defensive terrain, just getting the cities that they did (Bandar-e-Bushehr and Shiraz) is a great start for them.

MSurdej:The loss of Gyangtse kneecaps Khoshuts northward expansion in this part. Now stuck in the mountains, the Khoshuts are now probably going to end up like Tibet in Mk2. I wonder if we’ll see an enclave again...

Orange:

Siam is doing better than expected still. Five cities and two settlers down near Sri Lanka, really capitalizing on Vijayanagara being lazy and Khoshuts not settling south. Really what they need now is to not be attacked or to build up an army/navy and go after someone like Singapore.

JDT:Bukhara has a great part as they successfully snatch Elista from Kazan, giving them a nice, long corridor of expansion to worm their way out of. While they’re still right in between the crossroads of the superpowers of the Afsharids and Kazakhstan, they have proven they’re incredibly shifty and more than capable of clawing their way out of their poor starting location. Combined with decent enough production and growth, including development on newer cities, and the Afsharids showing weakness against the Qaramatians, the Bukharans get a well deserved glide up to the top half of the roster.

Cloudy:

Zheng rises five ranks because they settled two more cities and are not doing horribly in their war against their top 3-ranked neighbor, Shang. Their settlement in the Philippines is a bold move that might help them cripple Maguindanao in the future. There’s also still room for them to settle another city in the Sichuan area if they’re quick about it.

Cloudy:

Ecuador suddenly rises seven places for unclear reasons—as far as I can tell, the power rankers mostly just realized that they exist. New Holland attacked them, which is going nowhere, and they settled two more cities, so you know I guess they’re doing alright.

Leman:

Maguindanao snaps up Kuno, unsurprisingly. Despite being a stats monster, Wahgi left that city completely undefended. Then, Maguindanao looked like they were about to grab a second city but were eventually rebuffed. This is all quite impressive!

However, this part wasn’t all good for Maguindanao. Peacing out with Wahgi while the giant was still weak was probably not the best move. Wahgi picked up Gate of the Sun, an extremely powerful growth wonder, so I expect Mag to be thoroughly outclassed in round two. Secondly, at the very end of the part Zheng managed to found a city on the Philippine archipelago. Whether this is a very kind donation or a future invasion staging point remains to be seen, but either way, it would have been better  had Maguindanao just managed to settle their own archipelago.

Altima:

So the Yellowknives forgot how to keep building soldiers and now the Crow have both completely retaken Bahkisee and are shooting at their cities. Now, a few archers peppering some border cities isn’t likely to go anywhere on its own, but the fact that things have gotten to this point is just Not a Good Look. They’ve got the time and space to fix this in the future, but for now they need to cut their losses and peace out before the Crow somehow actually take a city off their undefended border.

Cloudy:

Another episode in which Nivkh did nothing. So far I’m not getting the impression that these guys are Chukchi 2.0.

Leman:

Despite refusing to settle Honshu, Ikko Ikki has managed to get out a fifth city and has pumped out some very respectable stats. Yes, this goofy settling pattern is hurting them and keeping them out of the top tier, despite their strong tech and decent production. I worry that the Japanese isles get settled by some of their very, very powerful neighbors like Shang or Goguryeo cutting their empire in half. Ikko has more than enough time to fix that, but the longer the game goes on, the less and less important those stats look compared to Ikko’s position on the map.

Emu:

Harappa may not have taken quite the control of India they could have by this point, but they're certainly still on top of Vijay by miles. The Khoshuts are shaping up to be a definite threat, but they don't look like one Harappa can't deal with yet. Of course, this is all assuming everyone is a perfectly rational actor, which we all know the AI isn't. Harappa isn't focused on growing cities, they're not focused on army, they're not settling *badly*, but they need a little something extra to make it all pop.

Orange:

We’re Bora-Boraing into South America with this one bois. A solid land army to keep everything protected, but really Bora-Bora needs more settlers right now. Tehuelche still ain’t settling so Bora-Bora has to get on it now before it's too late, but also has to settle the islands around their start before Wahgi’s settler machine overruns the area. Really, they just need a lot of settlers.

Boraboraboraboraboraboraboraboraboraborabora

Reformer:

Well, it wasn’t an exciting episode for Ume-Sami, but that’s okay. They’re up and about, settling new cities again, a concept that’s still kinda alien to the Finns. They’re on the up in terms of stats, too, which is inspiring a bit of hope. They’ll inevitably clash with Faroes, who are…essentially a stage hazard at this time, but there’s time, and most of Ume-Sami cities are inland (though they are settling more coastal cities now). At this time, I would predict that the Faroes slow down at some point, which will be Ume Sami’s golden opportunity. Before then, just expand eastward. Or southward. Latvia is kind of in the way of eastward expansion.

Leman:

The Dzungars punish the Khoshut forward settle by easily picking it off. I will say I think Dzungars are still looking like a fairly run of the mill central Asian civ, but now they have a track record of winning wars, and, unlike Bukhara, have a little more room to found a handful of cities. I see quite a bit of potential in Dzungars. But on the flip side, Dzungars has a lot of scary neighbors, like Selkups and Shang. Things can go either way but I’m optimistic.

Reformer:

Plenty of excitement nearby, but Alaouites themselves did nothing much. Sierra Leone’s plan to build none military backfired spectacularly, and Kanem-Bornu jumps into relevancy. Now, don’t get it twisted - K-B still sucks ass, statistically speaking. For Alaouites, the situation is ideal. Most of the Alaouite empire is inland, meaning there’s little risk of a sudden Visigothic or Roman invasion across the sea. Meanwhile, Sierra Leone is getting smacked around by one of the weakest civs on the continent, who remains weak despite the success. Far to the east, Mamluks just about learned how to build a settler. Alaouites are in an ideal situation to build up…or perhaps even take advantage of the weakened state of the two civs to the south, as may turn out to be the case. A sizable Alaouite army was seen marching south. Keep an eye on these guys. They may be going places.

Rosay:

Mexico, realizing that its probably not expanding north anytime soon, has said “Fuck it, time to go into the Carribean” and is sending a naval force out. Admittedly this is probably their best choice of action given their circumstances, and there are still chunks of North America available for settlement (along with Cuba and South America to a lesser extent). Even if they don't reach the main continent on time, Osage or Taino should be a relatively easy conquest. Pueblo is blocking a straightforward northward expansion and obviously Mexico can't expand into the Pacific Ocean right now, but they could easily start going full conquest mode around the Caribbean and the only civ that could really even delay them is maybe New Holland. Still, the path of weak resistance is always worse than the path of no resistance, forcing a lower Mexico rating this week, but believe me they are down, but far from out.

Altima:

So it turns out we might have a good Western Australian civ this game. This is unfortunate news for Palawa. The naval assault on Pinjarra is doomed- even if they flip it, Noongar will just take it back, though the process may at least divert forces from taking Kriwa, the current battleline.

Even as much of a waste as that process looks, it’s still probably their best hope- they lack the land forces to drag out the assault on Kriwa, so if they intend to hold out they need to drag the hell out of this naval raid until Noongar comes to the peace table and accepts Uluru as sufficient victory. That’s not probably going to happen, so look forward to seeing Kriwa painted in more striking colors next part.

It’s not the end of the run for Palawa- Noongar probably won’t be able to push any further, and they still have the more productive chunk of Australia. But boy is it a Bad Sign to see their neighbor being so actively militaristic when they got so complacent.

Cloudy:

IT’S HIGH NOONGAR, BITCHES!

From Kintore east to Yuendemu, where the blood-wood and the desert oak steam in forty-five degrees, beds are burning as the Noongar blitz Palawa’s western desert! The time has come for those settle-happy Palawans to pay the rent, it seems.

(Okay, I can’t figure out how to get any more lines from “Beds are Burning” into this write-up, so let’s drop the act.)

Noongar has made a huge play out of nowhere, seizing a Palawa city and threatening to take more in short order thanks to their overwhelming military superiority. It’s uncertain how far exactly they will go, but what is clear is that the former balance of power in Australia, with Palawa heavily favored, has been irreversibly disrupted. It’s no longer clear who will control the continent, but the Noongar are making a play for it, and we have to respect that.

Reformer:

Pontus is one of the stars of the part, but tragically they achieve nothing in particular. Firstly, Pontus is part of the anti-Afsharid war, where Qarmatians have taken all the glory (woo go Qarms! It’s Qarmback time!), and secondly, Pontus is finally attacking the Kalmyks in the Caucasus. Notably, they’ve been at war with Kalmyks since part 2, and only now decided to act on it. The terrain is rough, to say the very least, but Pontus has a large army - which cannot be said for the Kalmyks - and a sizable portion of that army is besieging Lagan as we speak. Whether it’ll be enough to take the city or not, depends entirely on Pontus’ own willpower. In the meantime, they’ve sided with Latvia against Makhno in the war on the Pontic Steppe. Though Pontus is unlikely to contribute in a meaningful manner, it makes sense to me that they are participating in the war over a region carrying their name. Oh, and, Pontus is of course continuing to settle, so they are fine even if no success comes from all these proactive wars. All in all, Pontus is making good moves, and trying to break out of the Middle East trap.

Cloudy:

Thule continues to rise to record heights for a variety of reasons. First off, their stats are great, coming in 10th overall on InfoAddict; on a more granular level, they rank 10th in production and 9th in military strength. Second, Thule’s only significant neighbor, the Yellowknives, has dropped the ball so catastrophically that they now have the world’s smallest army. And third, three Thule settlers have been spotted in northern Canada, preparing to assert dominance over the Arctic coast. I would say everything's coming up Thule this week.

Cloudy:

Latvia falls back out of the top 10 after declaring a surprisingly inopportune war against Makhnovia. The Makhnovist troops are well-positioned to deal a fair bit of damage to Latvia before Ulmanis gets his shit together, and while we’re confident that Latvia will ultimately win this fight, declaring the war with such terrible army positioning is worth a few demerits no matter how you slice it.

Leman:

The Selkups have solid enough stats and a lot of cities. They’ve got a decent amount of room to settle more as well. What is unfortunate is that while their stats are decent, they’re not good, really. This is kind of rough when civs like Kazakhstan and Dzungars are waiting in the wings and are more than capable of taking advantage of a Selkups that puts its guard down.

Orange:

Lmao

The Afsharids take a major tumble down to 10th as they get beaten up by the formerly 53rd civ, a major defeat. And really last we saw they weren’t moving their units, Qarms had a lot of units around still, and there was a mountain range in the way. I don’t think they are getting those back. Best just keep their new settles protected next time.

Altima:

Kazakhstan gets out of their war with the Selkups unscathed save some pillaged tiles, and are left as just a perfectly serviceable steppe civ with not a lot to their name but some decent stats. So it goes. Depending on how the board develops, they may find options for military expansion should they bulk up and get a good coalition against one of their many neighbors, and failing that, they’ve got the city count to potentially just build an army and outright take on one of those neighbors should said neighbors get boxed in and stumble. Either way, not a bad day for the boys in blue.

Leman:

Well, for starters, Wahgi losing a city to Maguindanao is not a great look, and its weird that after losing that city, Wahgi gained three ranks. However, outside of that this episode was stellar for Wahgi. They defended Korn, stemmed the bleeding, and most importantly, built Gate of the Sun, one of the best wonders in the game. This is the wonder that singlehandedly powered Mohave’s excellent performance last season. It provides a flat 15% food bonus, which is massive. Stack that with season four’s powerful island buffs, Wahgis insane UB, and their solid starts, you have an easy recipe for a clear and obvious powerhouse.

Vihreaa:

Tiwanaku are one of the sleeper civs that the rankers are starting to pick up on. They’ve got a strong, defendable core due to the terrain, and have settled a lot of cities already. It’s shaping up for South America to turn into a Tiwanaku vs. New Holland, but there are a few other civs that could make things interesting (BORA-BORA)

Msurdej:  Nzinga goes on the war path this episode, adding Saba and Kanem-Boru to her hitlist. Could this amount of warmongering lead to trouble? Potentially, but the armies of Ndongo are the largest in Africa, and doesn’t seem to fear her enemies to the point she settled Cambabe near an invading force of Mogadishu. Will this come back to bite her in the ass? judging by how weak her neighbors are, I don’t think so.

Leman:

Goguryeo didn’t have a whole lot to write home about this episode. It was a quiet, solid episode of continued buildup. I do want to point out that Goguryeo has settled most of their 9 cities in a straight line reaching as far into Siberia as they can. I think this is a great strategy, as they are blocking off a lot of territory from Mongolia and Nivkh. However, it can bite them in the ass later if they don’t properly fill out that territory. It’s probably not going to be super easy to defend. Plus it looks fun on the map!

Vihreaa:

New Holland continue their approach into the jungle, where they are starting to brush up against their neighbors (including an unwarranted forward settle!) Despite New Holland’s advantage in the rankings in South America, there are multiple other civs on the continent that boast an empire with 6+ cities. This will be an interesting continent to watch, that is, if the civs can learn to navigate rough terrain.

Altima:

The Pueblo continue to flail ineffectually at the Osage, but hey, they’ve still got solid stats, a pretty good religion, and have kept active at the settling. They’re the current front runner in North America, though that has as much to do with everyone else being a bit weak this run as anything else; they do need to start fighting wars good if they’re gonna establish themselves on the other side of the mountains and solidify their future.

Cloudy:

Shang had another excellent episode, retaking Old Sarai from Mongolia, making peace with Goguryeo, trading some potshots with Zheng, and settling several new cities, all without breaking a sweat. With 11 cities, Shang is now the most expansive civ on the cylinder, leading even the formidable Faroes in this crucial statistic. They’re also third in production and second in military. However, they should keep an eye on their science, which is currently below average—because if they can’t correct that, there’s no way for them to compete with our #1.

Rosay:

Another week and nothing much has changed for Faroe except now they are settling in North America to exploit combined Crow/Seneca ineptitude. Also, remember that production gap that I mentioned last part? Yeah, that just got wider and is now backed by the largest army, the largest tech score, the largest population, and the second-largest crop yield. Combine that with the Faroes essentially having free reign in Quebec due to the aforementioned Crow and Seneca failures, and you got what is the closest to a unanimous 1st place civ that we have had during this entire cycle. Hell, with an early lead like this, I'm expecting the Faroes to be, at minimum, in the top 5 for a very VERY long time.