Power Rankings: Episode 2 – S5

Msurdej:  

Having 1 city at the end of Episode 1 was bad. Having 1 city at the end of Episode 2? Well that's just last place material for ya. Hotu Matu'a continues to have their settler from the start of the game explore Australia, looking for the perfect place to settle. But it seems that perfect has become the enemy of not just good, but average, decent, and even mediocre. We've seen this kind of stall before in the CBRX, and it never goes well for the civ in question.The bar was already set low for Rapa Nui when the game started, but they just seem to find new ways of banging their nuts on the bar.

NopeCopter:

Circassia being this low hurts, because you can tell that they’re TRYING. They’re ambitious! They made a big play with their second city, and they have two other Settlers out and about already. The problem is that they just don’t have geography on their side. The Caucasus might actually be the worst start on the cylinder with how easy it is to box in and how scary the civs to the north tend to be, and this season is posing more of the same - Scythia and Vyatka are both already sitting at a monstrous five cities, and both have parked a settlement right at the mouth of the Caucasus to ensure there’s no getting out. Scythia’s tile claims have even completely prevented land units from moving between Circassia’s two cities! They could still expand southwards to take advantage of the weak lineup of Middle Eastern civs, but then Circassia would be a Middle Eastern civ, and those rarely do well, either. Pair all this with some of the worst stats in the game, and you have a civ that’s effectively been eliminated right out of the gate. But hey, maybe they can pull a Georgia and set up an Arctic colony to hide out in for a while!

ItsTruckMonth:

Quite the pickle Ma’in have found themselves in, as a new war declaration by Phoenicia puts their lightly-defended northernmost cities at risk. Hell, the only unit available for defense even remotely near Haramum is a half-dead warrior.

Losing that city would certainly knock Ma’in out of any contention, boxing them into the Arabian Peninsula with garbage stats. Still, it would NEED to be a generational fumble by the Phoenicians for them to have any shot right now.

Leman:

This is rough. With no third city, and just the unfortunate fact that Xaragua starts in the Carribean, things are not looking good for them. Their colors are pretty though!

Reformer:

You might be wondering how we got here. I mean, really, 39th in stats, down at 57th? I will do my best to explain. But I will not lie. I do not fully understand it either.

We can start at city count: meagre TWO. They are not alone in this, of course. There are 11 other civs on two cities. (And one with only a singular city.) Next, starting location and reputation. Philippines suck, and Cebu seems middling at best. And finally. Lanfang is right there, and apparently slightly monstrous. Silver linings, though. Lanfang is most definitely struggling to actually wage war. And back on the domestic front, as mentioned, Cebu is doing a passable job with stats, and as is typical for an island civ, doing great in tech. So hey, who knows. Maybe there’s something to it. (Probably not though.)

ItsTruckMonth:

Soooooooo when is Hyksos gonna wake up?

Still stuck on two cities, with much less wiggle-room compared to some of the other two-city’ers, nearly bottom 10 stats, and a significant power to their south creeping up. Their one, possible glimpse of ‘we’re so back’ in a void of ‘it's so over’, a poorly defended Ma’in, is now at the wrong end of a Phoenician invasion.

It may never be more over than it is right now (but hey they got a religion I guess).

Lasqueto:

Well uhhh, the Karankawa aren’t looking so hot. Boxing in Teotihuacan that early was a ballsy move, except they never followed through, and now they’re starting to blob out. Instead, Joseph Maria is going for Yucatan? Bold, I’ll give him that. It’ll get taken by Teotihuacan basically immediately when they inevitably go to war, but I respect the cajones. Their stats are kinda trash too. They’re tied for worst science and tech level with Zazzau, and given the episode Zazzau just had, yeah it’s not a good look. Their one saving grace is that army. They won’t get rolled over just yet; going hedgehog mode is still a workable strategy this early on. Long term though it’s not looking great for the berry boys.

Paige: The war in west Africa is, at best, a disaster. At worst, it is a death sentence for any chance in the cylinder or even medium term survival. They currently are being chopped up like a downward system, & risk a complete collapse by at least two of their neighbors. They have trash science, trash population after losing their city, trash population from the same, & barely have a military. Their only chance at survival is based entirely on recovering their lost city of Turunku ,& being left alone to lick their wounds. Somehow I doubt Samori Ture & Zara Yaqob will be satisfied.

Paige: Luba is not in a great spot, literally next to Zazzau who is one of the most fucked positions that didn't actively shoot themselves in the foot. I'm not sure this rank accurately represents their actual chances, it requires Herero competence & actually using their units appropriately rather than ending up with mass attrition, but I digress. Regardless of that, their stats are slightly better than Zazzau, albeit not by much. Their best shot is to use their terrain to their advantage & fight to keep their capital. Long term, things look bad, but not impossible to at least survive for a little while longer.

JDT:

Big snowy start? Check. Loads of potential land just not settled for no reason? Check. Complete lack of any willingness to play the game? Check. It’s official. The Bjarmians are starting to go full Nenets. Never go full Nenets.

Granted, it's still early enough in the game for them to have the chance to pick up the pace and do something. But I think the Bjarmians are currently very satisfied just sitting back and improving their religion instead of, y’know, doing something.

ItsTruckMonth:

The Bad News? Both Guaycuru and Potiguara have declared war on you.

The Good News? They’re sucking absolute cheeks at trying to attack you.

The Bad News 2: Electric Boogaloo? You’re essentially trapped in the Amazon with mediocre stats, but at least you can hold off an invasion?

Looks like Kuikuro sequels are on the menu, folks!

JDT:

Despite getting attacked by Lanfang, their big scary neighbour next door, and in spite of lagging behind a bit with settlers in the same ass position they started in, Ternate go up by 8. This is due to several factors. Firstly, it seems unlikely that Lanfang's early assault will mount to anything, given that early game naval warfare is often touch and go and Lanfang is not concentrating power in one thing. Secondly, Ternate leads the cylinder with a whopping 37 science, the highest in the cylinder. Their production and crop yield are also respectable, if not very impressive, rendering a potential to actually do something. Finally, the confluence of position, stats and the fact many civs look either completely lethargic or are even more vulnerable or screwed long term give us just enough confidence to say they aren't bottom 10. Congrats for the rise Ternate I suppose.

Lasqueto:Pegu sure is a civ. They sure are existing down there. Decent stats apparently, not that we really saw any of them. That slide image is from episode 1 by the way. You didn’t notice, did you? I don’t blame you, it’s Pegu. They still haven’t settled more than two cities…

Shin. Babes. Play the game. No rush, really. Any time you feel like it. Just like, do something?

ECH:

Lingering at the bottom quarter mark, Estonia has not improved on their weak starting impression in this second episode, if anything just cementing their place as one of the weakest of their regions contenders. While Meri maybe deserves some credit for getting another city out despite getting so encroached, settling Narva on Finland's western coast just opposite Kalmar’s own settle, his overall decision making when it comes to yield decisions is subpar. In an area with plenty of forest, he has managed to grab just about every marsh instead, with lakes and coast to boot, all leading to a bottom 5 production per city stat of 5.7. This is not a location that suffers weaklings, with top civs Scythia and Vyatka just down the lane, so the learned statesman Meri better crunch the books and work out a plan, ASAP.

Archimedes :

Bangladesh is in a tough spot so far this season. An already close neighbour and a bold settle has put them and the Pegu at each other's throats, when the whole of the India subcontinent lies relatively open. They’re not without their merits of course, as their pantheon pickup is nice for generating some culture, and their newest settle or Khulna is in a decently defensive position, similar to Chittagong. But their close neighbour and rival Penu happens to have better and more relevant abilities, and their own stats sit in the middling category, with production, food, military and science all sitting under the average on the cylinder. It’s definitely too soon to write Bangladesh off, but if they don’t start improving their position, they’re a good chance for them to get locked into debilitating wars with their neighbours and waste away into obscurity.

NopeCopter:

This episode went pretty well for Pakistan, all things considered. The big event was Bactria getting sucker-punched by Qara Khitai while they were trying to invade the Kipchaks, annihilating their military and completely taking their focus away from the south. This let Pakistan slip a third city into Persia, which was a very nice move. Sumer and Mysore were also pretty quiet this episode, and no news is good news when it comes to those two. So… why is Pakistan still so low? Well, part of it comes down to reputation - Pakistan is sleepy, and three cities still isn’t so impressive that the PRs are convinced they’ve broken this habit here. The bigger issue, though, is those stats. Pakistan has alright Food production, but their military is abysmal and their Production isn’t much better, leading to an InfoAddict score right around where the PR team has placed them. Some believe that the Central Asian mishap might have completely ruined the chances of all three Central Asian civs, but even those people don’t seem to have high hopes for Pakistan to fill the power vacuum left behind.

Archimedes:

Unfortunately we’re watching a backslide live on television here, as Herero fumble the bag when it comes to their invasion of Luba. A big push of units has faltered slightly in the rough terrain, and Luba has been able to put up a defense. Unfortunately, Herero’s stats aren’t looking all that great either, with middling production and science, and a low total city count. They’re not the worst stats on the cylinder though, as Luba’s stats are noticeably lower, and the war with Luba isn’t quite yet a failure. Herero has notably picked up a couple of pastures in their capital city, which means their starting units are beginning with extra experience, and their faith per turn is providing a potential extra 15% production to melee and mounted units they produce. If they succeed in pushing through the Katende roadblock, or choose to pick up some easier tufts in Maano or Kipushya, the Herero could likely establish themselves well in the protected South Africa region.

NopeCopter:

Sumer has INSANE Population and a really solid Tech count… and that’s about it! Sitting on only two cities, having been forward-settled by three separate civs (if you count Pakistan), Sumer isn’t currently beating the sleepy allegations. Maybe if they strike Phoenicia while they’re dealing with Ma’in they could get a couple of cheeky city captures, but even then, would that be enough to dig them out of the hole they’re in without any further settles? The Middle East is an unforgiving start position, no matter how workable the likes of Turkey and the Afsharids made it seem - Sumer needs to step up their game if they want to be kings of the world.

ECH:

THE FATE OF EMPIRES HANG IN THE BALANCE, AND WITH IT COMES PHOENICIA’S MOMENT OF GLORY! FROM THE LOWEST OF EXPECTATIONS, THEY VALIANTLY SURGE FORTH TO CONQUER… a 8 defense 1 pop desert city.

OK, maybe we could be getting a little ahead of ourselves ranking them too high, it’s still Phoenicia, they’re still a trade-bias civ in a cramped region with low odds, and the capture of Haramum would not be transformational in itself. However, Hiram’s actions this episode do speak to higher ambitions and better regional prospects than we PRs envisioned when we placed them at bottom tier in Episode 0: they have more cities settled than Hyksos and Sumer, they actually have an army and want to use it, and they’re likely to be one of the first civs this season to capture a city, maybe even two! They’re far from secure, but they deserve the award of a 18 rank jump, and could sustain it if this war works out. Expect a fall if it fails though.

Caitlyn: Unfortunately there aren't many lazy Portugal jokes to be made this time. France has shit the bed over their chances of taking cities in Iberia, was unable to capture any of their settlers, & lost a prime spot for settlements to Mary. While it's possible for them to take Porto next episode, that seems optimistic. It still is possible when you see Portugal's abysmal military & positioning, but Pyrenees is a major bottleneck for reinforcements here.

In terms of stats, João II is not in a particularly strong position with middling production, meager military, & poor production, how things goes depends heavily on their new settlements in Andalusia. 4 cities is nothing to scoff at this early on though, so it certainly isn't hopeless.

Cloudy:

After the disappointment of their war against Onondaga, Susquehannock remains pretty close to where they were before, because even with the attack, we only raised them 5 places. Most of us were skeptical that this war would go anywhere, and we were right, so Sheehays’ position hasn’t fundamentally changed. Instead, as we expected, Susquehannock will be forced to try and corner the southeastern US before their rivals get it, and the fact that they founded a third city off screen just before the end of episode 2 is the only reason they didn’t drop more than 3 places. Still, with Onondaga running away to the north with skyrocketing stats, it’s possible that Susquehannock have already missed their chance to break through the prison walls and contest the continent.

Cloudy:

The Papal States rise a few ranks this week, although my instinct is that this is basically just noise. They did settle a third city, but so did almost everyone else, and it’s also looking like unless they get a big burst of faith from somewhere, they will probably fail to get a religion. Geopolitically, their position also hasn’t changed much, with the Aures still hovering at their southern doorstep and other European civs completely ignoring the entire region. I do think the amount of land available to them is worth something, but I would raise them a lot more if they actually had some settlers poised to claim it, which they don’t. So are they doing what they need to do to break out of Italy? So far, I would say no, but the door is still open.

Reformer:

Okay. Sure. I guess. Is this really what you wanted? You wanted to waste your troops to save the Kipchaks? Sure? Okay. Let’s look at it another way. If Qara-Khitai does 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, Bactria will take a city or two from Kipchaks, and become the uncontested regional power. Tests show that Bactria commonly achieves this. In this sense, intervention is a wise move. But here’s the catch. You could’ve just attacked Kipchaks and taken the spoils of war for yourself. Sure, we can argue that considering the AI’s talents, that is a gamble. Q-K could’ve just failed to capitalize, and Bactria would’ve gotten the cities anyway. But may I suggest yet another alternative: Declare war on Kipchaks, and if Bactria captures a city, you simply declare war on Bactria, too. Obviously this is a pipedream. But it would do the job. Well. It is no matter. What’s done is done, and the outcome is at least not negative to Q-K. Simply neutral. Life will go on. Nobody is becoming threatening any time soon. Got plenty of time . . .

Reformer:  Alright, you’ve heard me talk about the war in Central Asia, but what about a second talk about Central Asia? No, I jest, I wouldn’t do that to you. Kipchaks got their asses royally saved, end of story. In the meantime, what does it mean for Kipchaks’ prospects? Good tidings, I hope. You have an ally in the mountains, great boon to have. There’s a bunch of land still available. Sure, some of it is garbage tundra, and Vyatka is encroaching, but now, Kipchaks can build some settlers and found a proper core. You’ve been given a second chance . . . 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘵.

Orange:

Things are looking good here, well ignoring their bad stats, Hideyoshi has two settlers out, with one of them headed towards Korea. This is big, if they can encroach on Green Ukraine before Green Ukraine can get too big, they might be able to take the fight to them instead. GU is generally going to be a terror unless Japan can shut them down, and right now, they are on the path to doing so. Now they just also have to settle the rest of Honshu.

Cloudy:

Yunnan is dangerously close to missing the bus, as they still haven’t founded a third city by this late hour, even as other civs achieve five or even six. They do have one of the top 10 largest militaries at this point, and they are at war with Tang, but that’s shallow comfort when the terrain between them is rough and the chances of taking a city are slim. The fact is that for a civ in south China, especially toward the mountainous side, the solution is early expansion not early war, and Long Yun so far has not gotten the memo.

Reformer:

A poorly executed war against Xavante in the jungles . . . weak settling game . . . this is not the Guaycuru we’re used to, that’s for sure. You guys think they’ll get their ass in gear? Guys? Guys. You know what, I think no one’s here. Anyway. Whether it’s good for Guaycuru or not, well, I won’t sugarcoat it. It’s not good. But it IS interesting. Guaycuru is one of those civs infamous for strong performances. So when Guaycuru is on track to be middling at best, it means we’re getting a less common outcome in South America. That’s nice! Good fun. At the cost of Guaycuru. But who will feel bad?

Orange:

Well, this attack has been dramatically derailed. What was once thought to be aid against the Kipchaks, turned out to be a ruse, and now the Kipchak attack is scattered and seems unlikely to actually take a city. At least they should defend well against this Qara-Khitai betrayal, but man, this is not good for Bactria’s chances.

Lasqueto:

I guess Nap time’s over for the Union. Granted, they’re still looking a little sleepy, but 4 cities is nothing to scoff at (especially in Europe). They’re matching the league on that front, and are gradually catching up in stats too. This could turn out to be a much fairer fight than we initially thought. The other good thing for Kalmar is what the Bjarmians are doing, or rather that they’re not. It looks like Kalmar could have relatively free reign to settle most of Scandinavia. They’d better hurry up though, as we’ll soon start getting to the part of the game where civs start flinging out settlers wherever there’s a free spot. Scottish Norway is a pretty common sight.

 Honestly I’m rooting for Kalmar - their test performances weren’t great but I’ve always thought they had at least one good game in them. Maybe this will be it?

Reformer:

Well, if it isn’t little mister I-Must-Wage-War-Through-A-Tiny-Passage. Seriously, the French army is filtering through a 2-tile path past the Pyrenees to die in Portuguese crossfire. This war is as foolish as Robespierre himself. Last we saw the war, only 2 turns before the end of the episode, France had a handful of units near Porto, getting whittled down to nothing. This is an embarrassing waste of resources for a civ that supposedly has stats worth of being 20th on the stats sheet. In Europe, things get rough real fast. In my eyes, this is near-damning. I didn’t have high hopes for France to begin with, and now what trust I had in Robespierre has been thrown away. Come on, that Scottish settlement is right there… and beyond that, Hanseatic cities would’ve certainly been easier to get to! Anything else, anything but this.

Archimedes :

It wouldn’t be wrong to say that Caral is not doing great. Hitting episode 2 with still only 2 cities and no coastal cities is not fantastic. But it would be wrong to say that Caral is doing badly. They’ve managed to grab a decently solid religion, generating faith from plains tiles and having a religious building outlet to spend that faith on. And extra yields from foreign cities could be a nice bonus when their closest neighbouring religion happens to be from a civilization that could be snuffed out in a single turn. We’ve seen settlers roaming the Andes, meaning more cities could be on their way, and a potentially relevant war declaration against Yanomami could mean they’ll be picking up some new cities very soon. But there are a lot of “coulds” in Caral’s game plan, and for a cradle of civilization they certainly haven’t left the cradle yet with middle of the pack production, population, science and military. For now, Caral sits solidly in the middle of the ranking, with potential to go up and potential to go down.

ECH:

Sláinte!!!!! Drinks on the house for every sailor who helped capture Dunfermline for sure, an act that has re-ignited hope for Umhaill to be an actual player in this game. Now, 3 cities is not overly impressive, and Umhaill’s stats lag a lot of their rivals still (shoutout to them being the only civ still on just 2 social policies). As noted in the quotes, there is an argument to be made that Umhaill's resurgence just keeps Europe more fragmented and mid as a whole, as opposed to a game where Scotland dominates the Isles and strengthens from there, but that’s probably a cynical read. What Grace has proven is that she has the capability to build up a force and effectively use it, a trait a great deal of civs are shockingly bad at, and one she can hopefully replicate over and over throughout this game to break out of the Isles.

Caitlyn: Pontiac is an okay mid-tier power in North America. Compared to the quarrels east of them, & the lackluster performance from Ponca, they have lots of options for expansion while maintaining an okayish stats situation. Most hope for them relies on them taking advantage of other civilizations flailing around rather than their current placement. If they do things right, they could at least stand up against Tlingit & Pomo in time, but for now they remain part of the Central to East American mess.

Archimedes :

Ryukyu, once expected by the power ranking team to stumble and fall early, is doing… alright. A couple solid settles on the mainland have landed them in a more favourable position, and their science looks great in fact, bolstered by their high population coastal cities. The biggest problem Ryukyu faces in the near future though is their neighbours. Japan presents a coastal threat, with two nearby settles and boats that could come in and besiege the hard to defend capital of Shuri. Tang and Yunnan, on the other hand, represent a land based threat, able to trudge through the jungles and forests of the Chinese mainland to capture Ryukyu’s so far relatively undefended cities. With not the best production score at the moment and poor prospects to bolster them, Ryukyu will most likely struggle keeping a standing army to defend themselves, but as long as they can shoot forward on the tech tree to stay ahead of the curve, they have a not insignificant chance of becoming a steady presence in the region.

ECH:

The fact their war with Pomo ended up entirely overlooked and not even seen is a great example of our thoughts on Ponca. If you want our attention, do something to earn it.

Shaggy:

When you decide to run your civ as the Raven commands, you end up with some interesting decisions. Despite having a UA that massively helps ramp up early city growth, Itelmen still refuses to settle cities on the rivers around them that would enable it. No, instead of putting themselves in a position to have the water come to them so they can use it to spread their food around, Harchin has decided to put a huge amount of the food supply up on a hill and wait for the water to trickle down onto the paddies he put up there. Without the IRL rainforest feeding the rice terraces, they still somehow are able to produce. Maybe the Raven knows something we don’t.

ECH:

I can’t deny, I’m a little bit surprised to see Scotland jump up 5 ranks for an episode where they lost a city to their closest rival, but there is some sense to it when you delve. It’s almost applause worthy in itself that Mary still holds 5 cities after losing one in episode 2, her settling game has been strong, and her stats should only go up as these cities - largely well placed and growing well - increase in size. There’s also some skepticism about the risk her other cities face in the short term: France is distracted, Umhaill needs to rebuild before any next war, and Hansa is Hansa.

However, as someone who placed Scotland in the mid 30s, my counterpoint is that we always see these settle-happy civs each season, and ones like Scotland have a tendency to not translate their early game settling into mid-game military success. We saw a lack of reaction to the Umhaill war, I’d place money that their Dutch settle is taken sooner rather than later no matter how temporarily distracted their rivals are, and I just overall have low faith in Mary to ‘play the game’. I guess we’ll find out which PRs are right here, episode by episode.

Shaggy:

Hanseatic League is very much benefiting from a series of independent decisions: Kalmar’s penchant for settling up the Nordic Peninsula, France miring itself in the logistical nightmare that is the Pyrenees, the Pope feeling significant pressure from the aggression from across the Mediterranean, and Estonia’s instinct to freeze in the face of expansion to their east. Central Europe is, somehow, a vacuum ready to become Hanseatic without much resistance. In the eyes of the Power Ranking team, they have the makings of a European frontrunner so far.

Shaggy:

The Power Ranking team feels *really* good about Yanomami after this week’s episode. Davi Kopenawa’s strategy of forward deploying a platoon of settlers into the Amazon while neighboring civs remain bogged down by the peach pit of Xavante is paying dividends. The war that Potiguara and Caral declared on Yanomami will amount to little if Xavante doesn’t join in or at least not impede their advances through the jungle. That should give Yanomami more than enough time to harden up their core. Also look out for future naval harassment down the coast once Yanomami gets some production up.

Reformer:

Incredible! What a recovery from a lousy ep1! Or at least an attempt at such. It is difficult yet to say how West Africa will pan out from here, but Wassoulou has cemented themselves as clearly superior over Zazzau. Judging by the lack of further shots of the war, we can safely guess that Wass has been unsuccessful in getting any further. That’s fine. Probably time to make peace, at this point, and actually build settlers. I respect a warmonger, but there’s a ton of land still available. Don’t let Aures gobble it all up. And speaking of Aures: Now that’s an existential threat waiting to manifest. Top-tier stats and expansive. You WILL fall behind if you’re not on your game. Wass is sufficiently on their game– the trajectory looks alright! But it will take work. As mentioned. I look forward to it. I don’t have a horse in this race. I enjoy all three, Wass & Zazz & Aures. No complaints.

Lasqueto:

Hmmmm Wallachia… Wallachia are confusing.

Like you’d think they’d be absolutely dogwater. They’re still on three cities, and they aren’t even very good ones. With Scythia and Hansa starting to blob out they look in danger of being outclassed. And yet they have top 10 stats? They have a big army so I thought it’d be that, but their production is solid too - bigger than New South Wales, Pomo, Maravi and other heavy hitters. That army might be their undoing though; they run out of money in about two turns, and their science is already pretty weak. They did join in against Scythia to be fair, so maybe they’ll be able to take this advantage before they start stagnating. They could even jump in on the clusterfuck starting to happen in the Middle East. Being broke this early on is a bad sign though.

Honestly I think they’re just gonna be another Royal Hungary, but the other rankers can’t really make up their mind. Maybe Wallachia is legit? Who knows.

ECH:

Martin Olleta seems to be choosing a strategy of slow and steady consolidation, a risky choice for the CBR. As has probably become clear reading this, 3 cities is a not awful but not great at this point, but Chono as at least made these 3 cities fairly productive ones, enough so to even grab the Pyramids, an AI-loved wonder that’ll keep their infrastructure construction speedy for the rest of the game. Perhaps even more importantly, they still have plenty of space to grab, given Guaycuru has seemingly decided throwing troops into the Amazon is a better use of their hammers than settlers, so Chono maintains the all-important quality of ‘potential’ other civs lack. Come on Martin, the plains of the Pampas and the Atlantic Coast are just across the Andes, waiting for your cities to sprout there!

Orange:

Mysore? More like… MYSNORE GOTTEM AYOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Well they have decent stats, a lot of land to settle, they just have to go settle that land. But like, I figure they will be the ones to do so, so they’re fine.

Shaggy:

Still in the early episodes, the value of potential uncontested space is quite high. Ket has expansion options in spades and are showing themselves to be willing to send out settlers to take advantage of it. Their neighbors are far away and either sleepy or have their focus on other potential conflict zones. Yet, the early game is still a hard time to be largely settled on tundra. Statistically, Ket’s lands are simply not as valuable as other civs of comparable size. For that they drop a single rank, a minor fluctuation in an otherwise very volatile episode.

Leman:

Onondaga peaces out of the war with Susquehannock and settles a fourth city and immediately rockets up the rankings. This is kind of exactly what I was hoping for. Early wars like that rarely, rarely go anywhere, and while I get why the AI did it, I’m happy it didn’t turn into an unending slog that ended up ruining both of the civs.

I wanted to vaguely comment on Onondaga’s settling direction though. West is an interesting, and probably good choice. Settling the American interior before sleepy Ponca and rival Susquehannock, is probably a good move, as Anishanaabe doesn’t seem incredibly interested in spamming Quebec. Onondaga can get there later. They’ve already started.

Also, they got a religion! That’s very good too.

Leman:

Seychelles continues to make the absolute correct moves and has managed to establish a beach head on all three nearby landmasses. Last episode they made landfall on Madagascar, and this episode they settled on the Horn of Africa and Arabia. With decent stats and some shitty Arabian civs (Sumer only has two cities and Ma’in is under a lot of pressure), Seychelles has a lot of potential energy with many expansion opportunities both via military and via settling.

Leman:

Early game ranks are mostly a function of the settling pattern and count. Rourans have four sick ass cities, and a lot of space. Plus Rouran’s nearest neighbors are the three squabbling central Asian dorks of Qara Khitai, Kipchaks , and Bactria, who are all fighting amongst themselves while Rouran happily settles its heart out. The unfortunate part is that a lot of this land is desert, but Aures also has a lot of desert and their stats are great, so I expect Rouran to be more than fine. Assuming this Tang war doesn’t go anywhere.

Archimedes :

Falling out of the top ten this ranking, Potiguara still stands strong as a top contender for South America. Solid Military, Production, and Science stats have shown they have what it takes to duke it out in the jungles of the Amazon, but actually physically executing on duking it out? Lets just say that their two military excursions against Xavante and Yanomami have been… lackluster. Unfortunately for them, trekking through rough terrain jungle with warriors and archers was never a recipe for success, and with the fresh new Yanomami war declared, Potiguara might be starting to bite off more than they can chew. Luckily for them though, they have a couple tricks up their sleeve coming up on the horizon. Their Spearman UU, the Phusa, isn’t particularly different from a normal spearman aside from an Amphibious promotion, but the Potiguara gets a free two for one special when building the first instance of the unit in each city, allowing them to quickly ramp up a relevant military to maybe make some moves. As well, the Potiguara gain access to a water mill replacement, the Shrimp Pond, that can be built in every city AND spawns shrimp resources on the map in any city that has fresh water access AND gives experience to newly trained units for every resource worked in that city. With a solid base of cities and a few relevant power spikes hitting the field soon, we can expect a slow and sure rise of this shrimp loving powerhouse in the upcoming episodes, as long as they don’t fizzle themselves out on some poorly executed neighbourly excursions.

Archimedes :

Teotihuacan stocks are through the roof this week, rising an incredible nine ranks to a solid 13 on the leaderboards. One can expect that this trend will only continue going up, as everyone knows that Teotihuacan is the most powerful civ in North America.

What’s that? Pomo exists? Tlingit is ranked 2 right now? No no, that can’t be right…

All jokes aside, Teotihuacan is in a great looking spot at the moment, due to some decent progression into their empire and some of the choices of their immediate neighbours. Pomo, who’s always threatened to be Teo’s biggest threat, has focused on their northern neighbours, competing indirectly with Tlingit and now directly with Ponca in a Rocky Mountain rumble. Karankawa on the other hand, settled a moderately defended city but has languished otherwise, with bottom tier population, production, science and military. Karankawa even seems to be sending a settler deep into Teo territory, a provocation for war and perhaps a sacrificial offering. Teotihuacan specifically benefits from killing units, with each victory contributing 2% production to wonders they’re currently building. Karankawa could be the first of many military targets that specifically help Teotihuacan bolster their lands with solid wonders and great benefits.

Although, that brings up probably the greatest failing of Teotihuacan so far. Their AI biases lend themselves well towards aggression and wonder building, with a MASSIVE 9 bias towards building and competing for wonders. And yet, they haven’t built a single one. Their religion is specifically focused on gaining faith from wonders, and spending that faith on great people, which doesn’t do anything if they can’t build any Wonders. Who can even guess how many wonders Teotihuacan has tried to build and lost to the other civilizations in the cylinder. While not game ruining, it would certainly benefit Teo if they were to start picking up some wonders in the near future, and hopefully an incoming war with Karankawa can facilitate that. Otherwise, with settlers roaming and core cities developing well, Teotihuacan looks to be in a favourable position to take advantage of the land that their neighbours have neglected, and establish themselves as the core powerhouse of the region.

NopeCopter:

Green Ukraine drops 9 spots as they fail to do much of anything this episode, but they’re still quite high in the rankings due to their fundamentally excellent position. They have a ridiculous amount of useful land ripe for the taking, and even if Rouran and Tang are beefing up, they’re still too far away to be a threat. Japan is threatening to settle Korea, but what the heck is Japan going to do to Green Ukraine and their one tile of coastline? Green Ukraine really does just have at least three more episodes before they’re in any real danger, and if the tests are anything to go by, they’ll be totally online long before then.

Archimedes :

At 17 tiles, Maravi is definitely leading the stats in longest empires on the Cylinder, tied with Scotland and beating out Vyatka and Tlingit by just one tile. Otherwise though, Maravi is sitting pretty decently at the moment, though their standing in 11th could easily rise or fall. With an impressive military, decent production and population, and a swathe of land, Maravi is set up to control the eastern seaboard of Africa. But, look closely and you can see some instability in Maravi’s current setup. Their southernmost city of Maano is fairly indefensible if Herero decides to divert their attention from Luba, and their northernmost cities of Mankhamba and Mbewe could become targets for Ethiopia and the Seychelles if so inclined. We’ve seen southern african civs both succeed and languish before in constant wars and struggles, so it becomes a question of how Maravi acts towards their neighbours, and how their neighbours act towards them.

Shaggy:

Scythia learns the hard way that you can’t just sit on land in your orbit without settling it and expect it to be there when your neighbors are nearby. The Scythia Squeezebox (lol, love the framing, Emmie) is almost complete as Vyatka, Hansa, Wallachia, Circassia, and even Estonia (kinda) place down further settlements around Scythia’s core. There is still room to the north for peaceful expansion, but expect this region to shed early blood soon as these heavyweights, welterweights, and a couple of lightweights duke it out for supremacy on this side of the Volga with the wars declared this episode. For keeping pace and joining the 5 cities club, Scythia moves up into the top 10 this week.

NopeCopter:

Tang had one heck of an episode, to say the least, though it was really all buildup. After an alright start in Episode 1, our central Chinese power managed to completely explode in size, placing down two more well-positioned cities with another on the way. What’s more, Tang’s stats are looking excellent, with solid Food and Production. However, this rapid expansionism has come at a cost. Tang’s forward settle of Yunnan last episode has not gone unnoticed, and now both they and Rouran have declared war. This is very, very bad, as both of these invaders have gargantuan military scores, and Tang… doesn’t. That all being said, though, neither assailant seems to have much in the way of an organized invasion force, and Tang’s defensive geography isn’t the worst in the world. Their position is so fundamentally good that they’ve been catapulted into the top 10 despite being the two-front invasion. Still, this next episode is looking to be pretty make-or-break for Tang: if they can fend off the barbarians to the north and south, they appear to be set for a while with their excellent core, but if they falter, they could easily end up carved into pieces.

Cloudy:

Bunuba maintained excellent stats in episode 2 and continued their expansion, founding another city, helping them stay in the top 10. But they’re no longer above New South Wales, and in my opinion they never should have been in the first place. As predicted, NSW is expanding rapidly through the vast empty space available to them, and Bunuba will have to move quickly to secure the remaining good land in Australia while they still can. And then, having done that, they will need to bulk up their military fast in order to avoid being overrun. No western Australian civ has done it before. Can Jandamarra build on his Mk. 2 experience to pull it off?

Orange:

Essie Essie Essie, you had a fantastic first episode, but you didn’t follow it up too well. You’re still doing great, don’t worry, but you gotta keep up the settling and you really gotta build shrines, I think you only got like one right now, and that’s just not good enough. I’m sure you’ll get a religion, but c’mon you should’ve had like the 5th or so.

Anyways, the most notable thing that Pomo actually did, rather than what they didn’t do, is declaring war on Ponca. Pomo’s got an army much bigger, Ponca’s got basically three warriors and an archer, though presumably have built some more since the war dec, while Pomo’s got uh, a fair bit more. However, there’s two issues: One is that the Pomo army last we saw is quite far from the frontline, so it’ll take a while for them to get to the fight, and two is that the nearest Ponca city, Wain-xude, is a shitty fortress that will be hard to take, but if they skip past that fortress they do have a path to the Ponca capital. Nonetheless, it will be a tough war for much progress to be made, but there does seem like a good chance at a city gift happening assuming the mod meant to stop those isn’t working which NopeCopter believes is probably the case.

Leman:

Ethiopia is a great spot here. They’ve settled a coveted fifth city, with a lot of space nearby to settle more. Most of their neighbors look kind of ass. Hyksos hasn’t settled a third yet, Luba seems very boxed in and Zazzau is getting bullied by Wassoulou. Plus Ethiopia’s stats are looking pretty solid at this very moment. A step or two behind rival African Aures, but there’s a whole desert between Ethiopia and Aures. Point is, I’m bullish on Zara.

Cloudy:

After rising 38 places in episode 1, the Aures rise another 7 this week to sneak into the top 5. They currently hold the top spot on the stats sheet, with the 2nd most production, 7th best science, and 12th largest military, as well as five cities and relatively weak neighbors. Most of North Africa remains available to them, as well as the less valuable sahara. They will need to be careful that Wassoulou doesn’t turn on them, because Samori Toure could easily take the newly settled city of Vescera, but right now Wassoulou is occupied with Zazzau and shows no signs of imminent hostility toward Dihya. So clearly the potential for great things is there, and we will be watching closely to see whether the Aures are Vandals 2.0 or more like all the other previous North African civs.

Reformer:  Nobody likes the way Lanfang is waging this war. Besides Ternate fans, of course. Lanfang fans are seeing grey hairs in the mirror, and everyone else is disappointed at the lack of bloodshed. How embarrassing! All these stats, and nothing to show for it! Well, on the plus side, those stats are still golden. Top 10. And Lanfang’s positioning is still excellent. Only weaklings next door. Bunuba might be of concern . . . sike! Bunuba hates settling on the coast and won’t threaten Lanfang any time soon. So it doesn’t really matter. None of this matters. Lanfang has a free ticket to the midgame. We’ll see how they’re doing at that point, but until then, you can expect them to coast in the high ranks for a while.

Shaggy:

This is your captain speaking. You’ll notice that the ‘fasten seatbelts’ sign is on, as we continue our flight over the Pacific you may experience some brief but startling turbulence. New South Wales bounces right back into the top 3 after a brief but significant drop in the rankings last episode. Rapa Nui has proven to be a mere fly on the periphery of any viable settlement near New South Wales and there is land aplenty for them to continue growing out with. Bunuba only has the position to contest northern expansion for now, leaving a large portion of the southern coast open for future production centers. The race to Uluru, though largely symbolic, would be a great win for the spirits of these frontier-bound settlers. And don’t call me Shirley.

ItsTruckMonth:

Honestly, what a episode from Sheiyksh. They’ve boosted their city count to 5 (with a very long and aesthetically pleasing empire shape to boot), increased their production to the highest of any civ, and set up a religion. All the while, Pomo has stopped putting out settlers and is focusing on what will likely end up being a fat nothingburger war with Ponca.

Their only issue would likely be the Itelmen across the strait, who have also beefed up to 5 cities. That said, Tlingit has quite the jump on them in stats, so they shouldn’t be stressing too much.

Orange:

Vyatka ends up on top today due to their very solid stats, 5 cities, and at least one settler heading out. Their biggest issue right now is Scythia, who also is very strong, also at 5 cities, and are currently at war with Vyatka (by Vyatka’s own volition). Vyatka at least so far hasn’t seemed to be able to make any progress. Is that a portent for their future? It’s hard to say…

Editor’s note: Only 2 out of 16 rankers put Vyatka 1st, and their average ranking was just over 4th. However, there was so little agreement on the top spot this week that nobody else managed to do better!