Episode 13: Of Luck and Misfortune – S1

Welcome again to the /r/civbattleroyale, CBRX (Seabricks) edition! I am /u/TechnostarBTD5, two-time former narrator, resident power-ranker, and this universe’s closest equivalent to Miles Dyson. I’ll be your host for these next 15 turns, as we venture forth from the submarine to explore the cylinder in this time of chaos. Last episode saw the elimination of the Minoans, but will we see another civ reduced to a footnote in history this time around? Only time will tell!

Our OC today comes from /u/AlbinosRideDinos, showcasing the bad luck of one particular city. London, originally a Canadian city in Newfoundland, has gone through four separate owners in the span of just a single episode. For the poor souls of London, this has meant learning a new language every few decades as each successive administration attempts to enforce their cultural norms upon the city.

Our community-made map today is courtesy of /u/Vihreaa, who has a knack for getting these things out extremely early. I rely heavily on the state of the map for my power rankings, so I am very grateful for this cartographic achievement. On this map, we can see a world of chaos in two separate regions: the Russian Far East, which was the site of a recent Haida conquest, and the Labrador Peninsula, which is the site of several still-active wars.

Our second map comes from /u/ThyReformer, a fellow power ranker. The Subjectively Pretty diagram of Objectively Relevant wars (SPOR for short) is an incredibly useful tool for getting a quick overview of modern geopolitics. Many of these wars here are likely to get a lot of screen time, so keep an eye out for these conflicts.

I don’t even have to look at this slide to know who sits at the top of the charts for yet another episode. I can sense those eyes anywhere. Those eyes stare straight into my soul and haunt my nightmares, judging me with contempt for my misdeeds. But I smile back. Lavalleja, you may feel comfortable and smug for now, but how can you rest easy when you send your soldiers to die in the jungles of ‘Kuro? I hope that hubris eventually catches up to you like it caught up to me.

Coiot: The latest edition of the CMM released last week. JFD provides the abstract of this month's content: “In this tenth issue, we focus on the brief modding period spent focusing on Sid Meier's Civilization: Beyond Earth. We also speak with Gedemon about the woes and frustrations of being a veteran Civ VI modder. And not to be outdone by Civ VI, some of Civ V's modders present their thoughts on a hypothetical third expansion for Civ V. Enjoy laddies.”

Not even an Eldritch Horror would dare challenge the might of the Uruguayan military. Not in this day and age. Consequently, the Selk’nam have been forced to exchange one blue route for another, taking to the sea in their quest to escape the southern cone. Unfortunately, these ambitions are met with deadlock, not conquest. The Nazca have a strong navy of their own, and with only a two-tile stretch of coastal waters to navigate through, the Nazca have managed to erect a solid defense and cut their losses to just the desert city of Ocongalla. In due time, these South Americans will discover the uninhabited islands that lay off their shores, but until they learn to let the stars guide them, the great blue sea shall remain just a narrow road along the shoreline.

In a bold show of strength, Beta Israel has flipped Resafa once more while continuing their campaign in Heliopolis and off the coast of Callinicum. Resafa has sustained several flips in recent turns, having ended turn 185 in the hands of Palmyra. Nevertheless, I see this as a massive embarrassment for Palmyra, as while the city may flip a few more times, Beta Israel’s strong presence in the area means that Palmyra’s chances of holding this city by the end of this war are slim, barring any poorly-timed peace deals.

In other news, Libya has become the target of a joint declaration of war by the Moors and the Songhai. Such a move by the Moors would have been bold just a few turns prior, but with Algeria nearing death’s door, the rationality behind this decision is clear.

Speaking of poor peace deals, the aftermath of one is having an interesting effect in one of the cylinder’s many conflicts. The city of Nizwa, initially given away to Parthia by Oman, has become the site of a Seljuq amphibious operation, as a series of four units plus a worker attempts to lay siege to the city. I have to give credit to Parthia for accepting that ancient peace deal, as this distraction means that Parthia’s main military has 4 fewer Seljuq units to deal with.Underneath the minimap, we can vaguely see that the 7-population Omani city of Rustaq is still in the red from Maratha’s efforts. In our timeline, Oman controlled a large stretch of coastline stretching south far enough that their sultan chose to live in Zanzibar, but in this world, it’s the Marathi who aim for this sort of coastal hegemony.

What was once a mighty invasion force has been reduced to mere skirmishes as Australia’s navy finally starts acting like the defensive powerhouse we saw in Mk. 2. For any Sulu supporters, this image is not a promising sight, as Jamalul only has some scattered ranged units near the besieged city of Geelong, while their melee units lie much farther to the east. Sulu’s primary advantage this game has been their technological prowess and their large navy, but both of these advantages have now eroded away. The residents of Bhamo laugh at this sight, confident in their decision to build their home inland and away from this naval nonsense.

While the Sulu threat may have faded for now, Australia still faces one more enemy: New Zealand. While not overwhelming in size, the Kiwi invasion force still outnumbers the Australian defenders and has already brought the Tasmanian city of Queanbeyan to half health. Will we see a Kiwi Tasmania once more like what we saw in Mk. 2? Only time will tell. But if there’s one thing I can say with confidence, it’s that this ancient ANZAC rivalry transcends timelines. To the north, the Murri look on with delight at this development, as an overexpanded Australia is perhaps their only hope at regaining relevance.

In the cold reaches of northern Quebec, the Iroquois invasion of Canada continues in full fervor. The lumberjacks have evidently run out of good trees to chop, so they have resorted to hacking at what’s left of Calgary’s walls. Given the sheer number of melee units nearby, it’s only a matter of time before Calgary falls, leaving only a few vaguely Canadian cities left to carry King’s banner. As I worked on some of the code for Canada’s unique components, it pains me to know that they are unlikely to see the light of day. Lavalleja knows this and smiles in amusement at my strife.

Elsewhere in the slide, the Apache citizens of Ch’ilwozh breathe a sigh of relief that they don’t have to face the woodsmen just yet. Conversely, the citizens of Port Erin worry that they may need to learn this new language of “Spanish” that the temporary governor of London spoke of prior to fleeing the city. Just a few triremes could net Venezuela a second far-flung colony.

Over in the lands known as Spain in our timeline, the language of “Spanish” must sound just as foreign to the residents there as it does to the citizens of Port Erin. But such linguistic tomfoolery is not on the minds of the North African population. Annaba, one of Algeria’s last 3 cities, is under siege by a coordinated effort of the Moorish army and navy. And unlike many failed invasions of the past, the Moors have actually brought a few melee units with them. It could be very soon that Algeria is reduced to just a city or two, giving the Moors the freedom to focus on the Lybian campaign in the east. In a classic Algerian move, they’ve prepared a settler, ready to forward-settle their neighbors yet again. Unfortunately for the few Algerian military strategists who have not been executed by the Moors, such a tactic is unlikely to work again, as no lands remain in the area for Algeria to settle.

Down in the Southern Cone, we get a clear shot of the Selk’nam realm. They field an impressive military, both in army, navy, and land units that think they are ships. Unfortunately, the Uruguayan military around Paysandu has achieved a comparable unit density, something that wasn’t the case several episodes ago. The Selk’nam must look for other realms to invade if they want to grow their numbers, but to do so, they must first teach their boats to fear the sea as little as the pikeman south of Honhpaxten does.

Departing from one of the more orderly but otherworldly peninsulas on the cylinder, we instead encounter the Chukchi Peninsula, complete with one of the most glorious examples of border gore present at this time. But of these diverse nations, only the Haida have a firm grasp on their peninsular holdings. For everyone else here, their territories are nothing more than far-flung holdings, as the Qing learned recently with the loss of Fuzhou. Nonetheless, barring a Korean attempt to connect their northern colony to their main holdings, the sparsity of land units in the region and the rough terrain means that most cities are secure for now.

For a naval war against two well-fortified cities, the Viking siege of Scotland is progressing more than expected. Granted, expectations were never high in the first place, so seeing both of Scotland’s cities in the yellow is a cause for excitement. While I’ve been concerned about the fates of Canada and Algeria for a while now, perhaps I should seriously consider adding the Scots to my watchlist of dying civilizations. While the Vikings may be cut off to the East by the Sami and Prussia, a successful capture of Stirling and/or Edinburgh would have huge benefits for their seafaring culture, hopefully giving Ragnar the motivation to pursue more aggressive measures than mere coastal raids.

Turning our eyes to the Caribbean, we see a slew of nations attempting to grab the last few remaining islands before this particular frontier closes. Uruguay, the Kuikuro, and the Iroquois seem content with their current holdings in the region, but Haiti and Venezuela both have ambitions to squeeze in one last city. Poverty Point, too, has joined the fray, sending two units to block off one of the Bahaman Islands. This leaves just one spot left for Haiti and Venezuela to compete for. I’d bet on Venezuela due to their naval presence in the region, but Haiti is not blocked out completely. And given that the Venezuelan navy is likely headed to reinforce their Newfoundland holdings, it is possible that they could pass this island by.

Coincidentally, this particular island was recently devastated by one of the strongest landfalling Atlantic hurricanes on record. If you want to support the victims of this disaster, consider donating at https://www.redcross.org/donate/cm/weathercomibm-emp.html/

Beta Israel continues to inexplicably hold their own.. The terrain around Balankab may be burning, but the city’s valiant defenders successfully kept Zimbabwe from taking the city. Good terrain can really prove decisive at this stage in the game, and Beta Israel certainly knows how to make use of it. Even more impressively, the Beta Israeli navy has exploited the chokepoint created by Zimbabwe’s borders, keeping Madagascar’s units at bay with just a relatively small collection of triremes.

It’s the 13th slide of the 13th episode, so naturally, we focus on a civ whose luck has not been stellar. Fortune has not been on Oman’s side this game, as they’re stuck with some of the worst stats on the cylinder. At the very least, Oman is not under an existential threat, as the Marathi invasion probably cannot hold Rustaq due to the sheer number of rustic (bad pun, I know) spearmen around the city. Elsewhere, the Seljuq invasion of Nizwa flounders and the Beta Israeli assault on Heliopolis has yet to take out the strategic citadel guarding the city.

Australia has scrambled a fleet of its most recent warships to defend Tasmania, but it appears likely to arrive a turn too late. New Zealand has already reduced the city to a sliver of HP. A change in colors is likely in this city’s immediate future, and I don’t see Australia being able to recapture Queanbeyan in any reasonable amount of time. The Murri triremes look on in interest, eager to study anything that might give them an edge over the Aussies.

I stand by the title for this slide, although an alternate title would be “Wars the Goths Should Have Won”. Aside from the Parthians (being too far for any relevant wars to break out), the Goths have somehow managed to embarrass themselves in war with every civilization with cities on this slide. Even the Sami, who merely have a single unit in Muscovite territory, have taken steps simply to ridicule the Goths. And now, a civ that once boasted a reasonably strong military is suddenly looking worse for wear. What should be close to a carpet is now barely a third covered, indicating how much the Goths have wasted on their strategy of attacking every enemy city at once. Disregarding my contempt with Gothic tactics, the Golden Horde has surprisingly managed to wield a nice carpet. It’s a shame they don’t have more cities to hold their units in.

With so many regions of the world embroiled in war, it is easy to forget that some cultures have only vague experiences with the concept. Tonga, in particular, is one such civ. Palmerston North, their only real conquest, was barely a war and has still not even been properly integrated into the Tongan dominion. Now that no foreign cities exist in Tongan territory, this peaceful paradise is one of the few sanctuaries left in the cylinder, and its crowded cities reflect its role as a safe haven for many refugees who somehow found their way aboard a seaworthy vessel.

For those of you who haven’t been keeping track, the Colorados are currently in power in Uruguay, meaning that the extreme military production of Blancos rule has been sidelined for the time being. Clearly, the Colorado failure to resolve the war in ‘Kuro has been met with unrest, as a group of pikeman mercenaries has revolted near Montevideo. This unhappiness has two consequences. First, it just about guarantees a speedy transition back to Blancos rule once the Colorados have been in power for 30 turns, meaning that the cylinder’s largest military will once again be growing stronger quickly. Second, and perhaps more impactfully, it means that Uruguay is likely to raze any city it captures from the Kuikuro, if it captures any at all.

And with that, Queanbeyan falls, leaving Australia with one less city to call their own! The Murri triremes can only watch in envy as the New Zealand flag is hoisted over the city. But with this, it’s likely that the New Zealand invasion will stagnate. Canberra is safely inland, while there are enough units around Adelaide to fend off the few boats that have made their way to the port.

This land may not be the site of any active military conflicts, but that does not mean it is free from any strife. In this case, that strife has manifested itself in the form of 6 whole citadels near Poverty Point’s borders, eating away at the rump state’s land a few tiles at a time. One Iroquois citadel has even managed to snag an Effigy Mound, the Poverty Point unique improvement that can only be constructed by a great person once per era.  

Traveling to one of the most fertile stretches of land in Central Asia, we find a surprising lack of one thing: Units. It seems that Ablai Khan has spent all his might in the war against the Evenks, leaving his core surprisingly open to any potential invaders. That being said, none of the other nations present on this slide fields enough of a military to truly threaten the Kazakh core, sparse in units as it is. Instead, both the Kazakhs and the Goths have resorted to harassing the Nenets, albeit in different ways. The Kazakhs have formed a citadel chain to Nyar’yana Marq in an attempt to prove the existence of that city, while the Goths are actually at war with the hidden people. The 1000 residents of Yardoslavl’ sit in the sidelines and watch, grateful that the Goths somehow failed to capture its snowy streets.

The Aztecs may want to rethink their Oregon expedition. The Haida, with the words of encouragement of a certain horror from the south, have launched an invasion of the far-flung Aztec colony. With their naval unique unit, the Haida have recently become a force to be reckoned with, as they have successfully conquered cities from the Qing and Yup’ik and are likely to do the same to the Aztecs. Last I checked, the Metis are also at war with the Aztecs, although the distance between them and the sparsity of Metis units in the area means that a city snipe is unlikely.

For the residents of Port Erin, today has not been their lucky day. Not only are they forced to learn a new language, but they also must deal with an incursion of refugees from the burning city of Port St. Mary. The remnants of Canada look at this bloodshed in fear, as they know that their cities could easily be next. The Metis settlers in the region look at the chaos and laugh. Their only goal is to claim more of the far north for their already-massive empire, and the decline of the Manx in the region means one less colonizer to worry about.

Turning our eyes to the Mediterranean, we are greeted with some bad news for both the Moors and Algeria. Annaba has been set ablaze in an attempt to set an example for the other Algerian cities in the region. With only two remaining cities, this capture represents a major blow to the last bits of Algeria. However, it is also indicative of a major problem for the Moors as well. If the Moors needed to burn the city to quell unrest, it means their empire is struggling with happiness and therefore likely to raze any additional cities they conquer, be it from Libya or Algeria. Elsewhere in the slide, the Libyan city of Benghazi appears to be struggling, as the Songhai invasion has brought the city’s health to yellow. The Venetian navy observes this situation calmly, looking for the perfect opportunity to snag some more trading outposts.

Back in the Red Sea, the narrow waterway is living up to its name as the Beta Israel-Palmyra conflict continues in earnest. Resafa has been flipped once more as neither side can establish superiority in the region. To the southeast, Beta Israel has completed an important step in the conquest of Palmyra: the pillaging of the Heliopolis citadel. By clearing this citadel, Beta Israel now places Heliopolis in a far more vulnerable position.

In the corner of this slide, we see that Maratha has fallen victim to one of the classic blunders: splitting their forces between cities. Rustaq is now up to yellow health, while Muscat has started taking damage. Words of advice: learn from the mistakes of others. The Goths tried this strategy. It is not worth it.

In the time since we last saw this battlefield, the Australian navy was a ways away and not primed to secure the area. Now, both sides are sending units in earnest, and the Bass Strait is the focal point of all this action. If there is one spot for Australia to halt the advancing New Zealand forces, this is it. The Murri triremes in the area are disappointed, as they had hoped for a successful Kiwi advance towards Adelaide.

Your eyes have not deceived you. That Nenet city of Sulomay was indeed captured from the Evenks, From the perspective of the Evenki central government, it’s as if the city just vanished. One day, it was sending dogsleds through the ice, bringing news of the city’s continued but harsh existence to the rest of the world. But those dogsleds have stopped coming, redirected instead to the mysterious homeland of the Nenets. The Evenks have sent a Reindeer Archer to investigate, but the expedition is not optimistic. After all, these are the harsh wastelands of northern Siberia.

The Vikings continue their joint assault on the Scottish cities of Stirling and Edinburgh, as both cities remain in the yellow. The loss of either city would be devastating for the Scottish, but the profit to be had from the Great Wall makes Edinburgh a far more attractive option for the Vikings to capture. The HRE knows this and has sent a small detachment of units to potentially snipe the beleaguered capital.

To the north, the HRE, Manx, and Vikings all race to see who can claim more of Greenland, although the Moorish city in the way might be a roadblock on the narrow coastal path to Greenland.

While the declaration of war has been shoved offscreen for now, the Aztecs and Apache are at war again, and this time, Geronimo is out for blood. Immediately, a line of Apache units has crossed into Aztec territory, where they have been met by a few sparse defending units. But while their forces may look one-sided, the Aztecs have a key defensive edge from the rough terrain of their core. Can the Apache fight through it given enough time? Perhaps, but the fight will be slow. What’s more important is that the Aztec colony in Oregon now faces incursions from all sides, so it’s anybody’s guess whether the Apache or Haida will capture the city first.

In another case of important declarations being offscreened, the Isle of Mann has made peace with Venezuela, leaving the two Venezuelan colonies in the region uncontested for the time being. Canada, on the other hand, has experienced none of this peace, as Iroquois soldiers march on all but one of the remaining Canadian cities. Barring any poorly timed declarations of peace, it’s only a matter of time before Canada folds once and for all.

Songhai and the Moors continue their assault on Libya, although only the Songhai appear to be making any progress. The Moors, after all, have split their forces and also must deal with the small yet feisty Libyan navy before they can commit their forces to laying siege to a city. The Songhai, on the other hand, have used their UU, the Mandekalu Cavalry, to quickly push to the gates of Benghazi.

If it weren’t for the damage effect clearly shown in this screenshot, it would be hard to tell that the Kazakhs and Evenks were even at war. This front has a good 1-tile gap between all belligerent parties, as the concentration of Evenk reindeer archers has formed a sort of no-mans-land. In a future time, this primitive no-mans-land will pale in comparison to the violence of modern arms, but for now, the premise of a hail of arrows is understandably not appealing to any sensible Kazakh soldiers.

Returning to the Persian Gulf, we see that the Seljuq invasion of Nizwa has turned out to work in Parthia’s favor. Not only has the Seljuq attack fizzled out, but the distracted units have left a large chunk of Seljuq land open for Parthian units to occupy, Now, Nishapur faces the prospect of an enemy at the city’s gates.

Elsewhere, the Marathi invasion of Oman has reorganized around the city of Muscat, recognizing that perhaps a capital city is more important than a 7-pop coastal desert city. I commend the Marathi naval officers for this good judgment, although why they didn’t decide on this course of action sooner is beyond me.

Revisiting Montezuma’s Troubles, we see that the Apache invasion has progressed some, albeit slowly. Apache horsemen rode through the desert hills and are now skirting around the gates of Tlatelolco, performing reconnaissance for the catapults that are soon to be in position.

But that is not all the Apache are up to. A look at the sidebar reveals that the Apache have teamed up with the Metis to fight a true colonial war, this time against Venezuela. The citizens of London at this point are now considering renouncing nationality altogether, as their recent experience with an excessive number of cultures has enlightened them to the true breadth of the nations of the world.

A lone Haida ship sails the seas between Korea and Honshu with a single mission: explore the lands of Shikoku. Unfortunately, Shikoku found the ship first, as the Haida vessel looks a bit worse for wear. To keep the peace, a New Zealand trireme has sailed between the two galleasses. The Qing sit on the sidelines, cheering on Shikoku with the hope that the Haida will pay for taking Fuzhou.

As the Songhai army progresses further into Libya, an important milestone has been reached. Benghazi has fallen! Now, Lybia is reduced to two cities, of which one is already blockaded by the Moors. For those of you keeping track, this now makes four nations in imminent danger of being eliminated. If I were Venice, I’d prepare to strike soon, as this may be their best chance to put that powerful navy to use.

The Iroquois Tomahawk Raiders have finally overtaken the city of Calgary, and in their haste to clear-cut the rest of Canada, have set the city ablaze. Perhaps this is indicative of an Iroquois happiness problem, as they have been assimilating a lot of cities recently and the residents of a recently-conquered rival nation tend not to take kindly to forceful integration. An Apache settler eyes the site of the burning city with great interest, seeking to expand their colonial empire before the two Venezuelan triremes by Tsezhine relieve the Apache of that city.

There’s something I can only describe as fundamentally flawed about the Sulu invasion of Australia. I can only spot 6 Sulu naval units on this slide. New Zealand, sensing that their ally is having some severe production shortages, has sent a detachment of units almost equivalent in size to the Sulu naval presence in the area, helping keep the Australian units at bay for now. However, the shockingly large Aussie naval presence in the area may prove decisive and turn this war into an offensive rather than defensive war. This points to an important reality of the conflict: Aussie production is roughly equal to the combined production of New Zealand and Sulu. If Australia manages to make headway here while keeping New Zealand at bay in the Bass Strait, they could have a huge advantage. But if the Murri join in, then it could have the complete opposite effect, placing Aussie workshops under tremendous strain.

Returning to North America, we find the most active theatre among Montezuma’s Troubles. Azcapotzalco’s territory now plays host to two competing militaries, as the Apache and Haida both seek to claim the colony as their own. Of the two, the Apache have the most units directly along the city’s walls, but the Haida naval presence means that either civ has a good shot at conquering the city should its health drop low enough.

Returning to the remnants of Canada, we see that the Iroquois lumberjack march continues, as more and more units are vacating the burning husk of Calgary for Kassigluq and perhaps even Windsor. North of the beseiged city of Tsezhine, Another Metis settler prepares to found another oddly-named city, as if Gift Lake weren’t odd enough. Perhaps the Metis think that the Hudson Bay is a “lake” given to them as a gift by nature itself? Off to the side, the Sulu reveal where their naval production went, building the ever-lovely Sistine Chapel. The Iroquois make peace with the Manx after realizing that no more Manx cities exist on the mainland for them to conquer, and a rather important declaration of war pops up...

A mere 10 turns after the Manx finished their successful invasion of Brittany, they find themselves embroiled in another major war, this time against the HRE and the Vikings. In an interesting twist of fate, this means that the Scots and Manx are now on the same side of a conflict, as that same duo of mainlanders are the ones who brought the Scottish cities to half health. This is very good news for Scotland, as it means that there are more enemy cities for the Vikings and HRE to divide their forces between.

As Uruguay struggles with internal dissent, its military likewise continues to struggle with the insane logistics of jungle warfare. By this point, the war has gone on for a startling 63 turns. Generations of Uruguayan farmers have died in the labyrinthine undergrowth of ‘Kuro, and generations more can’t even enter a grove of trees anymore without mistaking a twig breaking for an ambush. And for what? Just a few pillaged fields and the pride of two ever-hostile political parties.

Turning our gaze north, we locate the city of Witteniceberg, or Wittenberg for those without as much of a sense for puns. Bears outnumber humans on this isle, although legends persist about this city that claim humans don’t even control the local government. These stories insist that the real owners of Witteniceberg are none other than the bears themselves, and that they will sail south to invade in just over a hundred years’ time. Any serious-minded thinker would dismiss these claims as a child’s tale, but given the decentralized nature of the HRE, there are a few more fanciful geographers who don’t rule out this idea completely.

The Parthian invasion of the Seljuqs continues in earnest, as the Seljuqs have been reduced to under a dozen defensive units. However, there’s one thing to note: None of the Seljuq cities have taken any damage. Strong, defensible terrain is a huge edge in even the most otherwise one-sided matchups, especially in this era. But, given enough effort, Parthia can switch from defeating military units to defeating cities, and given enough time, Parthia could manage to take some of these cities as well.

While we have explored most theatres of Montezuma’s Troubles already, the Bajan and Sonoran coasts have yet to be revealed until now. What we see is indicative of an overall trend in this war: Apache units are gaining a proper upper hand in all theatres. Tlatelolco is in the yellow, while even Calixtlahuaca has taken damage. The Haida have sent a naval detachment to investigate, although perhaps it could be put to better use in Oregon.

It’s been two turns since we’ve visited Canada, and in the meantime, the Iroquois have reached all remaining Canadian cities. Even the far northern city of Windsor isn’t safe, as a Tomahawk Raider has already reached the city’s edge. What isn’t threatened, though, is the city of Tsezhine, as the Venezuelan triremes assaulting the city have either been repelled or defeated. Also visible is another Metis settler, ensuring that the Metis claim the Inuit’s place in the Arctic Circle as the last of the frontiers start to close.

The Aussies have really managed to turn the tide of battle in Indonesia. Instead of a massive Sulu armada descending upon Hawke’s vulnerable Indonesian colonies, the Australian navy has begun to descend upon Sulu’s core. Of course, the AI is always at risk of botching a naval invasion like this, but more vulnerable cities such as Dungun are liable to fall. New Zealand must act decisively on Australia’s eastern front if they wish for their Sulu allies to remain viable.

The clock ticks down on Colorados reign, as they have a mere 3 turns before they are liable to be overthrown. In the meantime, another revolt plagues the Uruguayan capital, as some noblemen have become dissatisfied with the Colorados’ leftist policies. A flotilla of Selk’nam triremes observes the chaos in an attempt to spot an opening in Uruguay’s defenses. Unfortunately, even Uruguay’s relatively weak navy seems powerful enough to counter any Selk’nam invasion attempts, especially given the tech disparity.

Tired of the stalemate in the Bass Strait, Seddon has sent two galleasses and a carrack around Tasmania and near the Antarctic Ice Sheet in an attempt to flank the Australian navy. However, this attempt has merely expanded the combat area slightly, as the island of Tasmania is a perfect region for Australia’s naval defense. The Sulu should be alarmed at this development, as it does not seem likely that Australia will be forced to withdraw anytime soon.

Without a major war to fight in, it appears that Zimbabwe’s mercenary armies have had enough of peacetime and have resorted to more violent means of securing payment. Akin to Uruguay, this development is worrying for the civ’s future expansion chances, as a razed city is not a useful city. But unlike Uruguay, Zimbabwe has clearly put a lot less effort into producing military units, as their core looks rather sparse and unhealthy when compared to Uruguay’s half-carpet. Instead, given Zimbabwe’s powerfully isolated location, Zimbabwe has instead chosen to use their production on one of the most impressive wonder collections in the game, totaling 7 according to the info sheet.

We’ve seen our fair share of bloody wars this episode, but nothing has prepared me for the sheer chaos that is Boatcon 1350. Qing and New Zealand vessels sail side by side as a Madagascaran trireme watches a stray Marathi composite bowman get surrounded by Cantonese units. Madagascar has decided to claim northeastern Luzon and Taiwan as its own, despite not having a settler in the region. The rest of the Philippines has been occupied by Cantonese and Taungoo cities, displacing any Sulu ambitions in the area.

In a rare shot that’s not of an active frontline, we see the now-Manx city of Malaqah. Perhaps the Moors could eventually recapture the city if they capitalize on the joint HRE/Viking DOW, but for now, the city is firmly in the hands of the Manx. The Manx seem eager to reinforce their position and have sent a settler to Cornwell.

In an instant, everything changed. Seddon’s efforts had proven successful. He didn’t just persuade the Murri to join in. Even the Marathi colonial government seemed eager to take Australia down a peg, and so the coalition grew. The Marathi land war has been slow at first, with only a single horseman entering Aussie territory this past turn, but the sheer disparity in land army size should give the Murri the edge they need to take a city or two.

As the episode progresses, so does the invasion of Canada. Calgary is completely wiped from the map now, clearing up land and eliminating a major source of Iroquois unhappiness. Perhaps this will give the Iroquois the happiness they need to absorb Edmonton, which looks liable to fall to the advancing woodsmen next turn. King’s government had better be prepared to continue their existence in exile, as the cities of Kassigluq and Windsor are only a stone’s throw away from the same fate.

The Songhai have solidified their grasp over Benghazi, placing Libya one step closer to a potential game-ending defeat, albeit not as close as the likes of Algeria, Scotland, or Canada. One piece of good news still exists for Libya, which is their positive relationship with the Venetians. Open borders with Venice means that they face one less threat while also creating an obstacle for any Moorish attempts at a naval invasion.

For the first time in a long, long while, we see a good shot of the Metis core. While low in population, these lands are vast and provide the Metis with a large buffer region between their capital and their neighbors. Better yet, while these lands may not be productive now, Future Worlds provides tile improvements capable of turning even barren wasteland into a productive metropolis. As long as these lands stay in the hands of the Metis, the Metis will have the ability to grow in strength even if they don’t expand military. However, administering a domain this large is difficult, and the struggle of such a feat has clearly not been easy on the nobility. Interestingly, this makes the Metis the third civ we’ve seen so far that’s struggling with rebels, all of whom are in my personal top three power rankings.

Believe it or not, this Balkan landscape has been the scene of an active military conflict for the past 82 turns. Turks vs. Prussia has been a battle since Turn 115, while Venice vs. Czechia is at a more modest 50 turns. Alas, a small frontline tends to restrict action, and in the case of these two wars, the stagnation has been severe. The one nation to truly benefit from that fact is the Czechs, who have yet to face a severe threat to their two remaining cities thanks to strong geographic protection. Offscreen, the Metis declare yet another colonial war, this time with the Manx regarding Greenland. Meanwhile the Kazakhs have decided that the Evenks donated enough cities for the time being and have convinced several other irrelevant coalition members to make peace as well.

I was expecting the Vikings to capture a city this episode. I was not expecting Malaqah to be that city. In an inexplicable decision, a Viking longship chose to sail to Brittany and begin the legacy of French Vikings there. Sure, there were already people living there, but that didn’t stop the French Vikings of our timeline. The city looks unlikely to remain Viking for long given the presence of Port St. Mary as well as several melee units nearby, but the legacy shall live on in the stories of many later generations.

For the Uruguayan knights camped out in the ruins of the Kuikuro citadel between Tacuarembo and Maldonaldo, today was an ordinary day. The rains fell thick and hard, covering the ground in a foot of standing water before giving way to a blistering humid sunshine. The sounds of the folk song “Hijo Afortunado” played from an unidentified source as the young lads sang “No soy yo” repeatedly. Halfway through the day, Juanito was found dead after he and his horse stumbled into a trap pit while on patrol. The squire’s death was unfortunate, but such was the daily reality of this long war. Of course, given the tight passageways of the jungle, only a small fraction of those drafted ever made their way into the hellscape of ‘Kuro, but as the knights of the citadel lamented, not all were fortunate enough to escape combat.

Bearing strong memories of their first war with the Parthians, the Kazakhs have erected a series of forts outside Sighnaq. They’re not alone, as the Parthians have also erected several forts in their desert lands. Such fortification is reflective of the general mood in Central Asia: standoffish but still peaceful. But, such peace cannot last forever.

The Murri attack begins in full force as Hawke is forced to make peace with the Sulu to deal with this near-existential threat. In the meantime, Gosford is fallen and New Zealand has managed to land several horsemen on the continent’s southeastern coast. Hawke must use Australia’s superior production as soon as possible in order to stop this from becoming an even bigger disaster than what’s already taken place, as while Gosford was a relatively minor outpost in the Outback, the fall of Sydney would be a far greater blow.

A look at Western Australia gives a similar picture to what we saw in the east. The Murri have a land-based military, whereas Australia has a navy. In perhaps the one stroke of good luck for Australia in this situation, the Murri forces out here are far thinner than they are in the east, allowing Australia to focus more on defending their core territories. Nonetheless, it’s imperative for Australia to not neglect these territories either, as they could be a major source of production should their east face trouble and could also serve as the setting of a major counterattack.

While their south is engaged in a war with the unknown, the northern territories of the Nazca are actually quite peaceful. From Peru to Panama, both the Nazca and Venezuela maintain a nice collection of units around their pleasant cities, None are particularly populous, but such is to be expected in a land with few flat areas to farm. This peace makes the area one of the nicer places on the cylinder to reside, although as is the case in most areas, this peace is not likely to last.

Unfortunately for French Vikings everywhere, the Capture of Malaqah was all for naught, as the Manx have retaken the city. But while their presence may be gone, the legacy of the French Vikings shall remain. Or maybe not, as in the many conflicts of this world, a minor city flip is often forgotten.

Elsewhere along the channel, the Holy Roman Empire is attempting an amphibious assault of Peel, although a single pikeman is unlikely to be sufficient for dealing with a 37-strength city.

Libya rejoins the Race to 59th in earnest as the Songhai quickly surround the city of Tripoli and bring it to half health. Cavalry charges are a potent tactic, especially when combined with flat terrain and  ranged support soon after the initial strike. Misrata seems safe for now with rougher terrain, although a single city is not a position any civ wants to be in. The Moors are still stuck in naval battles near Tunisia, as Libya’s Mediterranean defense has been far better than their Saharan strategy. Nonetheless, it seems Mukhtar’s time is running out fast.

In a major turn of events, the Australian defense of the Bass Strait has crumbled, giving New Zealand the chance to break through and bombard Adelaide. What makes this even more surprising is that Hawke’s biggest strength is his navy, which is likely off somewhere fighting Maratha rather than defending the all-important core. Sunshine Coast and even Townsville are also facing heavy bombardment as the Murri army marches slowly forward.

After seeing the power of the Uruguayan military firsthand, the Eldritch of the south has decided to align itself with their blue neighbors and has signed an open borders agreement to facilitate cooperation. But should the Selk’nam wish to expand anywhere, they will need to play their cards very well from here on out, first and foremost by investing in naval technology. A fleet of triremes can’t gain them land in many places, but an ocean-worthy fleet would open many doors.

Revisiting the northern half of the British isles for the first time in a while, we see that Stirling and Edinburgh are conspicuously still in the yellow. Progress is being made, as the Vikings have taken the city of Colby. Unfortunately, they have also decided to burn the city to the ground, potentially due to their poor cheese preferences. But, I digress. The Scots are still in trouble, but the Manx also look likely to sustain noticeable losses from this conflict, as even if they do retake the city, their ability to reinforce their colonial holdings is falling fast.

Edmonton has fallen, leaving Canada with a mere two cities to their name. Kassigluq is already taking damage, leading me to assume that they will drop to just one city left in not too long. Over in Newfoundland and Labrador, the Venezuelan colonies find themselves at risk of capture by the Metis, as they have sent a number of triremes and other units to reinforce Willow Bunch. The citizens of London have just about thrown their hands up in exasperation after changing hands so many times.

As Sunshine Coast falls to the advancing Murri wave, in its wake are several undefended Murri cities. Australia has pulled together a ragtag group of units to try and exploit this opening near Beerwah, but given the size of the detachment, it could be too little too late. What surprises me is that the Australian navy is still patrolling the Timor Sea, especially given how their core itself is now under imminent danger of capture. I guess ships do move slowly in this era, given their small sails and human-based propulsion.

The Madagascar/Beta Israel front has been stagnant for most of this episode, although that may start to change soon. Beta Israel has discovered astronomy, finally allowing them to circumvent the chokepoints that Beta Israel has exploited for the past few turns. Consequently, this means that Beta Israel might actually now explore the ocean they had previously just been teleporting across, granting them access to a few scattered Indian Ocean islands that have remained hidden so far.

Revisiting Montezuma’s Troubles once more, we find a mostly-stagnated front, a consequence of the rough terrain in the region. I say mostly stagnated due to a small detail in the upper left-hand corner of the slide. It appears that the Apache have prevailed in Oregon, all but eliminating Haida’s involvement in the war. Should this war continue to progress, I could imagine this war ultimately ending in the Apache capturing an extra city or two, although such an endeavor would inevitably be slow and result in numerous Apache soldiers being sacrificed in Aztec rituals.

If there’s one thing this slide reveals, it’s that the Australian navy is truly in the wrong place. Aside from a few Marathi ships that have managed to sneak their way through Sulu’s seas, there’s little for them to do over here, especially when their core is under threat from a massive naval invasion. Unfortunately, the coastal tiles along the Aussie coast are narrow, limiting the passage of ships even more than the slow speed of medieval boats would suggest. At least Australia has a naval reserve to draw from, allowing them to use production on all-important land units.

Also of note, Canada has managed to secure a very favorable peace deal from the Iroquois given the circumstances. King gets to live another day, which is more than two immortals before him can say.

And a capital falls! While it is by no means an elimination, this marks Songhai’s first successful capital capture and puts Libya in a very tenuous position. We have yet to see where the new borders are drawn, but it’s likely that Libya has been completely removed from their IRL borders. Only a scattering of units at land and sea separates the last Libyan city from the soldiers who could spell the nation’s demise.

The Race to 59th is a close one, as the Moors have brought both Chlef and Taghaza to ruin. Only a lack of melee units is keeping Algeria alive as the Moors struggle to bring the right units to the front line. Honestly, I never had high hopes for our North African civs given their narrow position between the Sahara and the sea, but to see both of them near death at once was unexpected. As this episode is close to wrapping up, we’ll have to wait a week longer to see who falls first, because as of now, it’s anyone’s guess.

Colby has survived! Escaping the clutches of pyromaniac vikings with just a single turn to spare, the Manx have one less lost city to contend with as they work to counter the Viking raids. Scotland, meanwhile, is still at half health on both of its cities, although the naval pressure has dropped for now as both the HRE and Vikings lack ships within bombardment range.

The Marathi invasion of Oman has all but disappeared, leaving Oman in a far more secure position than they were in earlier this episode, albeit with slightly less population in Muscat. Clearly, the Omani homeland is not sufficient for a proper civilization, as these low populations have been a major hindrance for most of the game.

Over in Nizwa, the Seljuqs strangely insist upon continuing their amphibious operation with an unsurprisingly lackluster amount of success. While the city is defended only by a nearly-dead pikeman, a city alone is a powerful enough force to hold its own in combat against a few units, and given how the Seljuqs are using this to their advantage against Parthia, they should be more familiar with this reality.

The pikemen wandered through the jungle with difficulty, their pikes catching on vines every couple meters. At least they could move freely. This section of the jungle was relatively clear of traps, having only been occupied by ‘Kuro relatively recently. The other jungles had centuries worth of dangers built up. But as they came upon a clearing, they realized their overconfidence. The city of Secu had been revealed by a Uruguayan naval reconnaissance mission a long while ago, but few had made it this deep into the jungle to reveal what secrets the area hid. As they stepped out of the trees, an arrow whisked by their heads from over the river, then a hundred more followed suit. The pikeman ran back into the woods, some leaving their pikes behind altogether, while the lucky ones who weren’t in the leading group breathed a sigh of relief.

The Seljuqs have done an admirable job defending their last few cities, despite the questionable amphibious operation to their south. Despite being in a terribly one-sided war for so long, the Seljuqs have only just now taken damage in any of their three core cities. Eventually, their homeland could fall, but that day is not today.

The Murri are truly pulling off a miracle here as their soldiers converge on Sydney. Comebacks are rare in this game, but there’s no other word for what’s happening here. New Zealand also stands a lot to gain, as Adelaide has been brought to the red and only has a few scattered naval defenders to protect it,

And with that, the episode has come to an end! Here we see the civilizations that have chosen to use their production for more enlightened pursuits, with Zimbabwe topping the list in a manner not so distant from their Boer predecessors.

This has been an exciting episode to narrate, complete with some truly spectacular conflicts, a capital capture, and a stellar defensive performance by the Kuikuro. This has been /u/TechnostarBTD5, and I hope you enjoyed!