Civ Battle Royale Broken by war; many nations begin to collapse under the weight as the true method of warfare begins to reveal itself, and a dastardly scheme begins to take root.
Hey there everyone, LunarNeedle here! Resident testman, professional leaker and bug tester for Blue Cassette here with another hella exciting episode. I’m hella glad to be a narrator again and I hope you’ll have just as much fun as I do. Remember; I know the answers, but like any good roleplayer. I’m good at playing dumb. Queue the “you’re playing dumb?” comments now.
We’ll start with OC produced by Staunch_Boat_Mormon showing blatantly Venice propaganda. Like cmon, Dandolo definitely doesn’t have muscles that big. We all know big boi Frederic will gladly size up those muscles with his impressive muscles he’s labelled ‘flintlocks’. Oh yeah, and this image is hilarious. I wonder if these two will team up again in the future to prove which power can dominate Europe and contain the eldritch menace from South America.
Vihreaa has officially become too powerful. He cannot be stopped. With his maps being released an hour after the video, this man has achieved land speed record for mapping.
Instead of the war map; which is insanely useful. I’m opting to highlight a returning maximum extent styled map by /u/thehonestyfish. This specific one highlights our largest upset of the Royale. Songhai truly spread their arms all over Libyan lands and controlled most of north-west Africa before collapsing. Was an awful time to be a Songhai fan; but amazing if you are participating in the prediction contest. I recieved like 12 points over two parts. Nice.
Alright guys, here is your mandated Uruguay fear campaign. Uruguay is definitely the big South American nightmare of this generation, and it’s hard not to see why. With most of their competitors reluctant to expand due to territory be it mountains, jungle or Haiti; Uruguay has been allowed to expand and thrive. That matched with one of the best AIs in history; possessing incredibly high expansion bias with sufficient naval biases to allow them to cross the south Atlantic ocean for a chunk of modern day Ghana is impressive and very scary. Adding onto that, they also have a seven tech advantage over Shikoku; effectively giving them an era advantage over their opponent. At this point, it’d take a coalition of Civs at the end of the tech tree to dent the Uruguay menace. Be afraid.
We begin this episode with units crashing into a rapidly dwindling Qing front. Shikoku was unable to advance due to a blob of units filling every tile in the Qing lands not three parts ago. However, now it seems like a round trip to the Qing city of Yin from Yongchen looks like a safe ride. Not one speck of damage crosses the cities though, so maybe Ying Zheng is viewing it personally before it becomes another production center for the purple patriarch of punishment.
In the notification panel we see some interesting notifications. The first is an ideology being founded; however even as Blue Cassette it’s a bit difficult to save load at the moment. The second I get access however I will post an update on Reddit. The second notification though I don’t need to save load to find out, and that is that Venice will peace out with the Holy Roman Empire; leaving them to Ulm in the arctic and Brno in the ruins of the Czech empire.
Uruguay cannot help but to extend its control over central America; potentially grinding the war to a stalemate by, somehow, having an anti-air gun parked right inside of Huexotzinco to encourage Venezuela to stop fighting; which seems to work. Don’t tell the navy about it though, they really don’t like to stop fighting. That does make me wonder though, exactly how did the unit get in there, and does that make the city invincible to being captured without declaring war on Uruguay. A war declaration against Uruguay is a decision no one wants to make, even if there’s a 781 defense Kuikuro in between them and the big blue blob.
Haida throws down the gauntlet and says that Siberia is not enough and that they are the rightful owner of the Qing’s colonies. I like to believe the Khamug’s are spreading dissonance in the Qing’s empire to stir their apathetic leaders into a warlust; only to find their disturbance greatly benefits the opportunistic leaders on the North American west coast. This coast has little in the way of avenues of power; and would require total exhaustion of the soldiers around Wuchang and Changsa for any progress to be made. With a war on two sides; it’s unlikely that they will be able to defend both their northern cities and their flank. Exciting times folks!
This is looking to be a helluva part. Oh, those wars? No, those are irrelevant. What is interesting is that modern Madagascan naval troops are slowly thinning out Beta Israel’s impressive and out of date navy. In fact, they’re thinning it out so much that divisions of the army have deployed on the water to be some assistance. It’s a futile effort; and with each unit sunk it’s only a matter of time until… well, most likely a anti-climatic peace deal, let’s be honest.
In a move no one saw coming; not even the people who analyzed the bonus slide we accidentally included in the part; or the momentary pictures in the DC; no one saw this at all. Indeed, it is so. That’s it for Papua. They fought their hardest, and despite the warmongering penalties, New Zealand declared that this was their stand, and with a valiant strike; they blitzed Bunbury and Hohodae down. These cities, destroyed by war will not amount to much in the end of the game, but will mean the end of a fighter unlike any other.Papua, led by Rajapapua, was a powerful nation that came out of nowhere. An early settle by Sulu was thought to be the end, but they fought hard and took every opportunity, scoring most of north east Australia before being the linchpin into the death of Sulu mere parts ago. They will not be remembered as the nation who won, but they will be a stark reminder to never count someone out so early. The game can and will flip in and in this case out of your favor as the very friends who defended you either died in the case of Murri; or murdered both of you in the case of New Zealand. I salute to you, my friend.Eff.
Ostrava is almost down for the count as two suspiciously similarly colored neighbours get all too close with each other. If the HRE declared war right now; the city would be in their hands, but for now they watch as Ostrava eventually becomes Palmyrene. In other news; Venice has Rifleman in troves now. They’re becoming quite a super power. Could they finally fix the border gore that plagues Europe?
Remember when people weren’t blaming the latest Holy Roman Empire leader on being incompetent and that the new leader was given a crap posistion? Well,they just gave away their beautiful Greenland city away to a civilization who would never be able to take their last city; leaving the once proud empire to one random city they, funnily enough, stole in a random peace deal unjustly. Actually, nevermind about them being incompetent. They’re just paying their karma dues before being ejected to the sub.
In other news; Al-mariyyah is definitely inundated with a bit of a pirate problem; as privateers line the icy paradise. It’s also a big paradise; with more population than some of the big cities I get in multiplayer games. You go get ‘em!
The Metis might be improving slightly as their unit, the Coureur des Bois have arrived. This unique unit replaces the Musketman. Starts with the amphibious promotion, ignores terrain cost and receives +15% Combat Strength when starting outside friendly territory which when fighting a defensive war is pretty mediocre other then flipping one of their own cities, which is never an envious situation. Thankfully, the unit also receives +1 Movement and +15% Defense when starting alongside a river; which not as relevant to their arctic colonies is still a nice enough buff. Here’s hoping Metis can recover and use this unit to bounce back.
In war news; it seems that units are beginning to fill the ocean around North Canada and have begun to assist the front around Mackinac. The Yup’ik might be running out of steam as the Metis unique unit clashes with Yup’ik swordsman and artillery around Fort Pitt.
Apache is bringing more than enough heat to sink any nation. With Enlightenment Era units rampaging through the countryside knocking on Battleford and using the staging ground of the Iroquois territory as a basin to funnel their units deeper into the core. It seems more so with each and every turn the mega-empires of North America grow in size.
One could hope the friendship doesn’t lead to a Brazil styled military take over of Iroqouis. Don’t do that to my boys. They killed my Civ; they have to be worth respecting. Haha, I implied Canada was a bar that was hard to pass. I’m sad now.
The Prussian unique units are filling out the territory of a surprisingly historically accurate Imperial Germany. Likewise to history, Moscow proves to be a road too far as no Civilization appears to be interested in accumulating the warmongering penalties. Elsewhere in this shot; Edirne looks pitifully defended and could be assimilated by Prussia posthaste. Meanwhile; the Goths are surprisingly strong in the navy and weak in the army; a unique look for them to be sure. The only thing I want to see is for Ostrava to fall. Like, the joke has run its course.
Submarines; competent armies; medium amounts of units and trading with India; another day in Japan for Shikoku. Happy of his Korean conquests, Shikoku might fancy themselves another feast; but their gaze turns to Qin and promptly says, “No thanks.”
Maybe the navy bug has spread; as Civs with woefully low naval bias continue to build more and more boats and less and less troops. Perhaps there’s an enrollment issue; perhaps the populace after dealing with Canada and subduing Poverty Point have become complacent. Still, I could imagine Haiti disappearing with this navy; something I definitely wouldn’t say five parts ago.
The logs of justice were planted on the terrain; erecting more barriers for their neighbours; but they failed to add in units to defend the newly acquired Songhai capital and new gains. Nevertheless; they are still a threat and could equalize Africa given enough time.
The Cascos Azules have touched ground; the unique Paratrooper replacement seen last part that can enter foreign territory without open borders; have 15% combat strength when outside Uruguayan lands. They costs 20% more to build at first, but cities gain +1% production towards Cascos Azules for every unit in the territory of another civilization whom they are not at war with up to 40%; making them roughly 20% cheaper to build. Thankfully; we added a resource cost of Aluminum to keep them from owning the entire map; but this unit can and will shut down opponents before sucking them dry. Dare I say, the Selk’nam have been made into a cute puppet so the real eldritch horror can spread terror from the inside. Good luck Kuikuro; is what I’m saying.
Welcome to the smackdown! In this corner; weighing a lot of units with a surprising navy and a thirst for blood, it’s Iroquois! In the other corner; with a chip on their shoulder and enemies on all sides; it’s the fighter, the one to top them all, the center of the rumble. It’s Apache!This is huge for the entire Royale; as this could potentially result in major border shifts in favor of Metis; potentially weaken the complacent armies of both and turn the American scene into one of blood and carnage. Frankly, I can’t wait.
Shis-Inday was the first city brought down heavily on this front as Iroquois were definitely prepare for this strike. Levering gunfire from their field guns and cannons; siege weaponry from the Enlightenment Era, it’s likely many cities will get low. However without the many melee units to back them up; I have some doubt that Iroquois offense will bear fruit. Only time will tell.
With armies crashing down on the city of Aoluguya, it seems unlikely that Evenks will make any gains; already losing Yakesa to the blue wave across Siberia. I do; however see little momentum to push past Vanavara unless they really bleed units across their entire empire. Meanwhile; the Khamugs’ watch with popcorn in hand. Come on guys; do the thing!
Tripoli was such a powerful city back in the day; now reduced to a shell of what it was as it has acquired new management. The powerful Great Galleass looks onwards towards what could’ve been a much more beautiful color half a dozen parts ago. It’s a wonder what would ignite this front again; and who would come out on top. I’ll be frank; it won’t go far; but Venice will still somehow lose.
A Venezuelan gunner points to a siege weapon operator just south west of Maracay; dust grained into his skin as he reached for a revolver. He felt sweat beading down his skin. But before they could fire at each other; a loud test shot was fired in the sky from a nearby Uruguyan anti-air artillery. With a crack, they both look at each other and sigh. The siege operator just laughs, “You still think they’re smart by just bringing siege weapons to a war?”Roleplay aside, holy hell is Uruguay stopping this war just as much as Venezuela doesn’t want to win. I don’t know if anything will come of this war with both peace keeping units and a negligent amount of melee units.
Shikoku; New Zealand and Taungoo are all next to each other before Modern Era; get that on paper. Also Selk’nam are there helping with cleanup. Good eldritch horror.For real; these cities are going to be Taungoo’s chance to become a major power. Meanwhile I have large fear the Shikokan cities are just going to be pawns to be sacrificed for the sake of their main island should Taungoo get big enough to threaten the mainland. But hey; it looks cool.
Where did you come from?! Just like that; an outdated army runs the frontline. Sure, there’s a Pikeman staring down a rifleman; and sure the cities are definitely not the bigger of the area; but dang was that impressive. Yin is still slightly undefended; but it seems they might hold through sheer production and tenacity itself. Impressive.
Ostrava has fallen and with it, the sanity of map makers as they look at the borders of these two empires. Meanwhile Czech life is now looking great as Venician and Viking units fight side by side against Prague; although none seem to dent the small wall of units; as if afraid that touching the city will make their AI worse. HRE got infected clearly; giving away Ulm in a peace deal. Maybe they need sterilized gloves?The Palmyrene Empire looks to be one of legends; almost reforming the better Rome. There, I said it. I would mic drop; but I’m not talking, Dawkinzz is. Sad.
Now I see why Iroquois declared war! Holy heck, are the Apache a split up and weak nation, all things said and done. It seems unlikely that Chuuk’anen and Shis-inday will hold, although I expect many flips for the later due to the army in the area.
Remember when I wanted to reduce carrier priorities? Well, good news, I’m pretty sure we did based on late-game screenshots; but it still doesn’t stop the husks of metal floating in the modern era. Just put that in your mind that Uruguay have carriers and paratroopers at turn 369 on historic speed. They are nightmare fuel and seemingly getting more powerful. The only benefit is that I imagine they are trade happy; allowing any neighbour to leach up to 20+ science from trade routes; which definitely softens up the blow. Most likely due to this, Haiti has Rifleman; which is a feat unto itself. Nice job Haiti.
It almost seems like they are in a unique world; as most Civs are beginning to field more advanced ships in Europe and beyond; privateers and other units seem to be content on floating around in the water,effectively a dinghy in the time of flight and atomic bombs. It’s possible Uruguay can; with a key war; unlock their units to fight on the mainland; potentially in a coalition against Uruguay. But that’s for the future. For now; any plans on the old world will be put on hold until the Modern Armors arrive in like... two parts.
Upon looking at this image; you might think, “Wow; there’s not much here.” and you’d be right; so let’s delve deeper. Uruguay seem to be friendly with Zimbabwe; meaning these giants should be safe for some parts. They are also fielding a small amount of modern infantry near Kindonga, the final stand of Nzinga. The most important part of the picture; is the friendliness of Zimbabwe; and the weak amount of army here. With a few thousand units; they can definitely be a horror; but like the Boer’s before them; a new infantry unit might be not worth it compared to the new shiny Research Lab.
Much like the carrier bug; it seems that if given the option to build useless boats; the AI would much rather do that then leave their core exposed. The Sami need to use their insane production in filling their lands or they’ll… well, nothing will happen. What do you think; the Goths would do some fighting? Pfft, no.
The units slowly shift into position as the Great Hot Potato game of 3090AD commences. For my sanity; if the Rifleman north of Prague dies; it’ll most likely be a fifty fifty flip. So this front will be interesting to watch. Personally; I would give it to Venice; as it would make future Prussian wars interesting and give them a way to eliminate HRE; making every map maker 44% happier. Don’t ask where I got the percentage. Classified information.
Uh; so yeah. Madagascan Arabia might become a thing; and considering Palmyra are running Crossbowman while Madagascar have their unique unit; I doubt it’ll be as one sided as we think. I still give it to Palmyra due to the army size; but damn Madagascar. You do you.
Ah; the patented spread your army thin and run strategy. It would take a lot more units to make this strategy; but despite that I still give them the chance to capture Dzilk. The rest of the city’s name is classified.
In other words; the Yup’ik escaped with most of their cities they captured; allowing the Metis to focus the armies to the south and to the east. It’s becoming a shitshow. I brought drinks!
“Let’s start a riot!” said one man nearby Lund. The people at the nearby fish and chips stall looked at him weirdly and said it was dumb. He was so angered; he found a pointy stick and waved it around. He was then murdered by the Viking army and given a dishonorable burial shortly later. RIP.
Oh; oh god. Aside from the absence of melee units; the sheer wall of Enlightenment Era ranged units will make a mockery of the southern front. It seems like a straight shot from here all the way to the Apache capital at this point. It’s about time you become an expert negotiator Geronimo.
When I was expecting unit spill over; I was not expecting this. Muscovite new units are being telefragged into a hellish arctic hellscape with no guarantee of survival. Minos watches from his personal scout boat with a chuckle. He was glad he didn’t live long enough to witness teleportation being used against him. A bottle gets thrown as his head by a frustrated Paul Kruger. Too soon.
Remember Evenks? This is Evenks now. Do you feel old yet? Evaporated; is what I can call the mighty dear army; and slightly annoyed is what I’d call the Kazakhs. It seems like the last units are forging a frontline in a very Soviet formation. For now; bodies will block every bullet; but when will the bullets stop and when will they come knocking. Is it time to prepare the coffin?
Rumors on the sub stated that there would be three Asias. Three unique takes on the supercontinent; the Grey Asia states that the land will be full of ranged units and ships. This asia would fight off all attempts to defeat them at all costs; while investing the production towards beautiful works of music. The Purple Asia believed in power; and thus summoned units capable of bringing cities to ruin enmassed. Unfortunately, their devotion stripped them of originality. Uniform and marching in lockstep, they would move from one enemy to the next like a machine. They were calculated, power, but predictable and exploitable.
And the final Asia was the Red Asia; who believed in survival by enlisting the people. Every hand a weapon, even if it was woefully out of date. If you weren’t a soldier, you were producing the grains to feed such an army. The Red Asia would never talk of the others; as they had bullied many times before. And thus, with scraps, Pikeman and Junkships they arranged in every single plot of land, hoping for the chance to defend themselves.Hmm… This doesn’t mention the Brown Asia. I could’ve sworn that was important somewhere… Probably classified.
Sometimes; when you have so many issues with happiness of acquiring a former aboriginal city and integrating it into your empire by force; you just ignore it by summoning an army to blanket the inhospitable hellhole that is inner Australia. Like, holy heck. I don’t know if New Zealand could ever hope on taking Australia at this point...
Mackinac is firmly in the hands of Yup’ik; and thus the development the Newer Sexier Alaska™ can begin. Seriously; this is huge. Yup’ik was counted out just like Papua was; and just like them they kicked a Civ that’s twenty plus ranks over them. That’s huge for the prediction contest meta-game, but does this mean well for Metis that can now focus the bulk of their arctic army down on Apache? Has Geronimo made too many enemies? I guess we’ll find out soon...
The council concerning the ownership of Prague has begun; and as such it seems like all the Vikings and Venetians have pulled a South China Sea and claimed the same portion of land. One of you guys have to step down and let the other have it or I’m letting the Holy Roman Empire capture it.
Name a more iconic duo; Madagascar and capturing cities due to unit overflow. This is the biggest advantage AI’s have is that when they produce a unit, if there’s nowhere to move it, it will just poof over to a nearby tile it can go to. Be it a hill nearby; or a country ten thousand miles away, taking up their precious land. Turns out when said nation borders a weak nation; one opportune declaration of war can weaken them; fighting an enemy on a front they never expected. And, as such, Salalah is theirs. Good job Madagascar! Gold star!
Or, alternatively, you can use the aforementioned unit wall to distract a neighbour causing them to build land units instead of a navy and attack their weak coasts. Madagascar has been succeeding in places no other Civilization should be able to. It’s honestly amazing to see. I definitely want them to make it to the Endgame.
Hiawatha is a genius. This army composition is enough to drain the army of Apache; causing an eventual collapse of their frontline while their highly mobile units can sweep in a take city after city with far stronger melee units coming in the form of RIfleman. Shis-Inday seems to fall and thanks to Metis; it seems like Chuul’anen will be next; be it Metis or Iroquois.
Am I the only one loving that the only Civs in Canada, United States and Mexico are native Civilizations with very satisfying borders?
You got nothing for that. Literally nothing. You blundered it. You turned a flip into a flop. It has come to naughty. You’ve fallen flat. You’re game has run aground. You’ve botched a perfect game. You’ve bungled a good situation. You besmirched your name, besmirched my word and turned my opinion of you quite foul. You failed. See me after class Madagascar. That is all.
Madagascar built a carrier before building industrial era naval units. Is there no strategic resources? Quickly glancing at the map; there’s at least like 50 coal. The only way they would not have any coal is if they had a lot of cities with factor-... Oh, that’s problematic. Nevertheless, they have some Industrial Era boats floating nearby Madanda that look mighty menacing. Also, if you look off the east coast; what is Selk’nam doing near those Zimbabwean units? What are they teaching them?
Crashing down onto Iroquois from their acts of aggression is the peaceful Uruguay who, after engaging playful hand shaking with Kuikuro for dozens of parts have opted to turn the North American natives into their next target. Fortunately for them; without declaring on Haiti; they will only be able to sail in small avenues to attack the core. It’s safe to say this will be the only flashpoint for these two unless Venezuela gets serious in fighting the Haitians. Interesting times. Will anyone else declare on the Iroquois?
Here is your regularly scheduled OCP; that being Overflow Containment Project. This project is dedicated to containing units produced from Civs with nowhere to go. Scotland, completely absent of a settler, just roam the deserted wasteland of a frozen Greenland; looking for a new home. Uruguayans however got a message that they can attack their Greenland neighbours, moving out of the precious containment project to get some land with Deshchii Bikoh striked down to half. Although whether or not that’s Uruguay or one of the many thousands of damages sources capable of damaging a city is anyone’s guess. Maybe if Scotland strikes about now they could capture Hakaye from the Apache. But that would never happen, right?
After an eternity of them existing; the final Reindeer Archer grazes south east of Baykit as a war rages on. Duochen, Aoluguya and Yakesa get flipped by a decisively competent strike force while the main bulk of Kazakh army groups around Putorana; most likely crushing opposition to their rule. Meanwhile; the war we’d all be waiting for with all the no people dying in it has ended. Canton can breathe a sigh of relief.
Yin has taken damage; probably as negotiations between the twin Asia's come to a close. It’s about time that Shikoku moves into place as the defence is thinning more and more. Yet again, I said that before, so expect this land to be full of Crossbowman in two turns.
Iroquois once more flipped the city of Shis-inday; no doubt heavily damaging the core of Apache. It seems unlikely that anything major will come of it due to the surprisingly heavy coalition of melee units hitting the frontline against the Iroquois. I expect for their unique unit to be making a showing sooner rather than later, but that’s getting ahead of myself, isn’t it?
I’m amazed at how strong the hold on a lot of Oceania that New Zealand has; but I’m disappointed by the choice of units. There’s many privateers; skirmishers and ancient era boats cruising next to renaissance era boats. It’s not an impressive array of units to be honest. I could honestly see most major Civilizations making a sizable dent to their navy and ultimately taking victories off King Dick himself.
Tananyocan is down due to the surprisingly high amount of privateers while Huexotzinco seems safe due to mediocre unit composition on the frontline; with a high amount of gatling guns and field guns running to the city to die. It seems hella likely that due to Aztec’s higher than average amount of melee units; that they will flip cities nonstop... even if they are swordsmen. They make the Uruguayan infantry nearby seem damn near future era in comparison. If Aztecs want to survive; they need to find any way to end Open Borders now before it’s too late.
While the world burns; the Songhai cities of old become puppets to the Moorish people; no doubt forcing the Moors to buy units in all of their cities to help defend against a potential war with Benin. Although; that might be because they have obsessions with unit carpets. I mean, it worked against Algeria, Libya and Songhai; what’s a few more hundred thousand units to the fire?
I hope New Zealand is proud; because with their most recent acquisition of small formerly Papuan cities makes them a new target. With a pretty much secured Australian continent by the big green blob and a mostly secured Oceania by the Taungoo; it seems that the small micro-colony would be likely to be swallowed up as the eventual war to decide Oceania would occur. For now they wait; and build the ever strong rifleman; hoping the additional city defence it creates would encourage the mega nations to fight each other.
And yes, I know New Zealand is big. But they are a paper tiger. A war against Taungoo or Australia might mean New Zealand will shrink down to just their main islands. Mark my words.
It seems that with the fifteenth kill from the submarine hosted in Ganneious got enough kills to get a multi-kill; allowing a single melee unit to swoop in and take the city. This unit was so happy; it proceeded to fly directly into the gaping maw of two Uruguayan privateers. Oh well, you win some you lose some.
Meanwhile; there’s some more pressing issues on the sidebar. Khamugs was awoken by the Taungoo; who wanted to rain hell on their neighbours as plans in Oceania begin to bear fruit. While Taungoo could send a navy over; it seems most likely that this is an attempt to weaken the Khamugs and cause a war in India with Indira on the losing end. A tactful move, but from my knowledge, it seems like this is likely to go nowhere through the mountainous terrain of Asia. Nevertheless, awakening the Khamugs might be the scariest part. Evenks, Kazakhs, Qin and Qing should take note with worried eyes.
Another city flip on the Apache and Iroquois border is one thing; but with units beginning to ignore the Aztecs and focus on punishing the few units unwise enough to set sail; it seems all is normal. I can see the impressively ranged unit selection down the Venezuelan coast which has me wondering if we should prime our respect keys. Maybe a few more parts. But with Uruguay filling all tiles; is that wise?
Remember when Tonga had these islands off the coast of Atarco? Remember when they burned them down just to prevent their unhappiness from affecting their pop heavy centers. Pepperidge Farms remembers.
Meanwhile; a reformation belief got founded. I’m potentially just going to go into a nearby save when the part is aired just to get all of this information; as this frustrates me. Although; there might be a turn or two leaked for Ideologies, so watch out for that.
While it seems that Qin has all their guns in an order; the choke point of Beijing seems to be an impossible hurdle to cross; with most units stuck in the capital cities while archers and musketman hold off the ever encroaching grape Kool-Aid warriors. #NotSponsored
In other words; Uruguay has begun to assimilate Montezuma with way too many units. Meanwhile, Madagascar wants to do the same to Benin. I’m beginning to think the Brazil strategy got leaked somehow. Maybe Selk’nam carried the technique to Uruguay; who brought it through an Algerian Dey to Madagascar. Maybe Pedro is seeking control from Nebucchadnezzar. Maybe… it’s all too late…That or Uruguay is stupidly overpowered. Can’t tell!
Selk’nam seem to be having happiness issues as Uruguay begin pouring unique units into them; gaining production cost advantages with each unit that floods peaceful allies lands. I imagine the geopolitics of Selk’nam and Uruguay are unique enough to make a Netflix show and four novels on the drama. I wonder how /u/thehonestyfish and /u/onehalfcupflour and /u/jmangelo… and… Are we becoming a hub for writers? Dang, that’s pretty nice not going to lie~
Scotland; what are you doing? Imagine them just watching as Prague begins to collapse from being surrounded by Viking guns; Venician guns and… Nenets? Don’t know what that is....just imagine if they declared war right now. There’s only one melee unit left from the Czech. Just imagine a random small empire getting a random central european city. That has never happened before! *cough* Tibet *cough*
My complicated lore is getting more complicated. Who taught Maratha the art of unit spam. This also will showcase the only major front of the Khamug/Indian war front. I admit in saying I am underwhelmed. This will just serve to be an annoying meat grinder. A shame really. Maybe if Maratha declared on the Khanate that would be interesting, and that’s saying something.
With the advent of flight and very few anti-air mechanisms in place aside from Uruguayan; this will be happening a lot more often. That being said; if that production was used on something like units; then maybe they can do something with that airpower. Oh, AI. Never change.
Chuuk’anen flips again; but something just hit my eyes. Why is there glowing green hills? Am I missing something; or does that look like nuclear waste being dumped? *Book opening noises*
Apparently that’s an effigy mound I haven’t noticed until now that cannot be pillaged from a Civilization called… Poverty Point? Isn’t that a city? Never heard of them. In other words; it seems likely that the flips will continue up until the capital. Iroquois are ruthless; but I can see a peace deal coming up about now. Mark my words.
It might seem hella unlikely; but I believe one of the units up there is a melee Uruguayan in the mess above. Don’t call it a comeback, but I’m saying this might actually turn into something. Maybe. Also, come on Poverty Point. Do it for me!
It’s about time that continents that are made, everyone! I warned you that this episode would be interesting and as Balankab is once more struck from above by planes and from a small smattering of units; it’s time we find out who is worth in Africa. I expect this exchange to weaken both empires; but ultimately be given to the superior Zimbabwe; but only time will tell. Just exactly what did Selk’nam tell you? And why were Algerian workers and Dey’s there?... What did they tell you Nyatsimba Mutota?!
Sure; snipes are really cool and hilarious. But these distant cities will do very little for the strength of the empire and only make you more of a target. How many declarations of war were entirely due to eliminating Ndongo? Was it worth it? Meanwhile, Uruguay looks on in jealousy as they no doubt begin construction on the five hundredth wonder. Priorities I suppose.
The Knight nearby Bhaktapur panicked as they hear boss music. Over the hills rides a Marathan field gun, confirming the rumor that indeed Maratha and Kazakhs have declared war. Both of these wars potentially threaten their far flung cities like Pokhara are definitely on the table. That or some units can take damage and nothing happens. That too. Also; Nepal declared on Kazakhs; a probably meaningless war for now due to the land problems innate in northern Nepal.
For real, if I may inject. Who here expected a lot of better things from Nepal? They were nightmare fuel incarnate and here they are, long and skinny, with crap land and no way to really break out onto the main stage. As nice as Maratha is, would we have a more competitive cylinder if Nepal controlled all of Marathan land or no? Am I wrong? Sound off in the comments on the Reddit, I guess?
I mean, I expected it. But oh boy does this hurt. Story time with Lunar everyone. I put my cards entirely behind Czech. I loved their basic but powerful mod design; I thought they had pretty good colors; and they were positioned against mediocre AIs. Sure, I expected one of them to still be alive; but I didn’t expect the person to bring them to their doom was the one-city challenge Civ from Firaxis. What a tumble.
Czech was marred by peace deals; split into two and force to remain a rump while all the land on the outer of Europe was consumed. In the end, their relevance was held down by the Ottoman Empire and held down even further by their options shrinking away. Despite the oversized Europe on CBRX’s map; it was not enough to give civilizations with mediocre AI and amazing uniques a chance to shine. They died a slow death and got placed in an unwinnable situation. Nothing more to say then that. Eff.
With the resistance around the Iroquois fleet shrinking as a privateer battle rages on outside, Ganneious falls to the might of the Uruguayan navy. The submarine casually strikes down boats unwise enough to step in their effective range, but even these boats cannot do anything against submarines, leaving open season for these naval captains. It might suck to lose two cities, but think of the kill streak of striking down wave of wave of Uruguayan naval vessels. That should be enough to get the bomb killstreak, right?
Is it cold yet; because I think it’s about time we get nuclearly serious. The Algerian Dey; transporting the information from Uruguayan laboratories to the floor of Zimbabwe scientists have discovered the power of the atom; the opening of the dragon's maw and the flame of god; nuclear weapons has reached Africa. Balankab might be the first of many testing grounds. Let’s keep our eyes peeled.
Oh boy; it seems like the defense that crumbled mere slides ago seemed to completely deteriorate. I even see the navy that held back Shikoku parts ago is also in shambles. It’s likely whatever army composition that Qing have is in shambles with esteemed generals and admirals going every day. So, basically what I’m saying is imagine what it’s like in Beijing.
Iroquois might be using early Industrial Era units; but it seems like modern naval warfare with the rocket flying around. This is a major advantage of our recording methods is we capture the cool things you’ll never see in end part like this shot down plane after Uruguayan attack on Iroquois navy. Truely, we’re in a unique age.
Less importantly, it appears that the navy that both empires had managed to successfully sink each other, leaving this area of the world surprisingly empty. Well, as empty as you can call the ocean.
Something interesting to note; is that I made the assumption on Kazakhs that friendship was evident between Khamugs; there was units in Patan and that Maratha wasn’t carpetting their lands for them. Friendship has painful consequences; but seems unlikely that any of these cities will be seeing any wartime fire. If you want to make a well defended mountain city your last vestibule as Maratha runs at you from all sides; make it earlier than later Prithvi.
In other words; I expected nothing of the Khamug’s war and I’m still underwhelmed. Perhaps strong use of planes might change my tune; but it’s hard to fight in one-tile gaps.
Jesus; people are not having a good day at all. Everyone appeared to co-sponsored a massive ‘stop being bad’ letter and mailed it directly to Ivan. Someone appeared to scribble down a declaration of war. Every Civ just shrugged and let it happen. Noticing this injustice; Nepal quickly sued for peace, wanting to be as far away from the conflict as possible. Good on you!
Absolutely ravaged, with hundreds of thousands of people slaughtered as Zimbabwe roles up their lockstep troops through the former Israelite city; threatening to push forward. Desperate; some dudes on a sailboat approach the city ready to enact justice with a musician in tow. Perhaps they were a barbershop quartet fishing crew turned soldier crew. I don’t think they can capture a city with a net; but god damn they’ll be in harmony while trying.
Striking down the frontline eager to defend their home; the Apache unique unit strikes onto the fray; replacing the cavalry. This unique ignores zone of control and has increased flank attack bonus. If they attack a military unit stacked with a civilian; the unit is killed receiving a massive heal and experience boost. While it might not be awhile until that happens; workers and even Great Generals can be medkits powerful enough to keep the heavily targeted unit alive. Dare I say this defense force is powerful enough to hold back the Iroquois. Can we be seeing a comeback?!
While the warfront has pushed hard against the Iroquois with an impressive line of units; the lack of formation has a break in the lines; causing Frog Lake to begin to be surrounded while Dzilt has been pushed into Metis hand. Just south of the city is the other powerful unique unit of Renegade. This unit replaces the Rifleman, has no cost to pillage and can enter another Civs territory without open borders like the Uruguayan Paratrooper. As they acquire promotions; they get a free Survivalism promotion equal to their higher Shock or Drill promotion. For those unaware; Survivalism is a Scout promotion granting up to 50% defense and +10HP per turn while also healing after ever turn. In addition it also allows the unit to retreat; which is likely for Deity civs to have. Basically; this is strong as heck.
You know; in my entire time thinking of who would declare on the Papuan slayers; I was not expecting Shikokoof to be the one to be Shikokupset. Running down with submarines next to dinghies is a unique strategy; and one that due to the absolutely piecemeal military that New Zealand has might work. I don’t expect much gains beyond Masterton however; as New Zealand has enough production to keep up with the long ranged naval warfare… right?
Taungoo is beginning to spill into the frontline; protecting the region from any wars. They insist that any war fired in this region must be approved entirely by /u/EmeraldRange. And considering I’m narrating; they have to wait for him to be available. I’m just saying facts here folks. Expect any wars here to grind to a halt aside from potentially a naval war from Parthia.
Geez; I’m resorting to awful puns. Is this what I’ve succumbed to!? Alas; pun aside it seems that Pokhana is gone. They retreat their army to the natural choke point that India and Taungoo tiles have created; probably going to hold the line there which all is said and done is a very good idea. I’d do that and potentially declare on India as a human player; as Delhi being defended by Pikeman and Crossbowman is too good to pass up.
Purple Haze floats into Jiangning; bringing all the former Qing cities into a deep dark red. It seems likely that some of these will be flipping for the last time. I imagine some of these cities built two flagpoles and merely raise the flag of the occupying force when they enter. Don’t worry, flag lad. It’ll be over soon.
Crashing waves and crashing boats will be the only thing that the Pacific will see for the next couple parts as many seafaring nations declare war on another for dominance. In other words; a surprising navy force bares down on Hawaiian holdings while a few units distract the Shikokan Defense Fleet with a small smattering of ships. I wonder if New Zealand really have the firepower to defend and attack at the same time though as those ships assaulting the Japan proper need to be at home.
With a surprisingly large assortment of units; it seems they are dedicated to potentially flipping Tosa-Shimizu which while seeming dumb initially; if they can flip it; they might be able to sue for peace; giving the city back and returning to the status quo; or potentially even retaining the city. It’s dumb… but I admit; I’ve done it before in a few high difficulty games as a player. The problem comes in holding the city. Can they do it if it flips? Well; we’ll just need to see.
Nepal managed to make a surprisingly strong push; pushing away the Marathan overflow and beginning to bear down against Kazakhs. Was this the reason war was declared; to get rid of border gore. This coming from the longest boi on the cylinder. I admit; I am impressed as your tenacity for better maps. Maybe Nepal are some of the best cartographers out there and control the political sphere to make sure maps look far more appealing. Map makers and professional map painters everywhere salute them.
India and Taungoo square off in the oceanic waters as Madagascar looks on in awe. But that’s about it. I’m going to devote this slide to talking about Endgame. For those unaware; Endgame is a solution to late-game deadlock. A game crash after a long series of inactivity due to this very ocean being a garbage pile of every Civs units meant that we were given a choice. Remake the game; call a winner; or make a new game to declare the winner. We chose the last option and thus; Endgame was born. Endgame will take all the relevant stats and give appropriate buffs to Civs in reflect on how they performed in the previous game. To make the game almost definitely finish; we shrunk the map to account for the lower participants and we’re starting again from turn one. It gets better, because this means in future seasons we won’t have any excuse to post ten turn parts anymore and every season will have a champion. No more skipping onto the next season like was done in Mk1 and, before we stepped in, Mk2. We make each episode exciting for you to watch; so stay tuned!
It’s amazing how fragile Korea looks; with its new capital Gangneung only one tile away from the Shikokan navy. In more pressing news; it seems like nothing happened on the Apache and Metis front with the peace deal; but yet again I could be missing some random island city somewhere… We’ll be returning there shortly; but that must be disappointing for a Metis fan; who got a major boost in combat potential after the Yup’ik peace deal; meaning they only lost land in this prolonged fight. This is possibly the worst peace deal. Maybe, in the history of peace deals ever.
Taungoo seemed to allow New Zealand to partner with them after the Papuan elimination; making this all the more confusing as they rampage down Susaki. This seems likely to hold, especially if the Rifleman positioned on the city moves one tile off. It seems like… Shikoku are losing?
But they also let Shikoku move through their lands. Good on you for being so good Taungoo; but this is a troubling thing to do. Open Borders have had disturbing awful effects in the past. Keep careful.
The Statue of Liberty. This was the wonder positioned in Agra in Mk2.1; built in an unknown city for now in Australia. This is huge for the production boost of Australia. If anyone wasn’t sure why they went freedom; this huge building will mean that even if they become autocratic; they will have a production advantage as their hyper large cities get ever bigger.
On this slide; we see Nepal for now holding the line as gatling guns and only gatling guns line the border. This is an amateur mistake Maratha; you’re better than that. Or, maybe they aren’t? I brought up earlier how Nepal is considered one of the best AIs on the cylinder and yet they seem to be losing to one of the less impressive AIs on the cylinder. It’s very likely this obsession with ranged units could be the preventer of an obviously capturable city remaining unjustly in Nepalese hands. Only time will tell...
I stand corrected! Indeed; it seems like Dzilthdaklizhinde (sorry Dawkinzz) was given to the Metis in exchange for peace. Proving to be a small but noticeable advantage to Metis and the cities they gave to Yup’ik were only providing negligible yields and only having small strategic importance. I’d say in the end Metis are in a good spot to benefit the most. Now if only Ontario was a more fertile battleground…
And that’s it for the part folks! I narrated this in a few days and had a blast doing it. I’ve probably made many mistakes as I am more so a roleplayer than a professional writer. So if I made any mistakes; you can wag your finger at me in the comments and I’ll correct anything I can. As I said in the narration; I will try to save load with my current mod setup to see if I can get ideology and wonder locations. Keep hype folks, and see you next time!
(PS: In before someone tries to analyze this entire narration for ARG clues. ;D)