Episode 31: Cracks in the Shell – S1

Hello guys, gals, and nonbinary pals, and welcome to the thirty-first part of the Civilization Battle Royale. Good morning/ afternoon/evening to all of you, wherever you are in the world. This is Cardboardmech, also known as Cardboard or CB to some of you out there, longtime community member, constant CBR Discord presence, and creator of the Sulu mod that was used in CBRX. I’m here to use Dawkinzz’s wonderful voice, if you’re watching the video, and we’re starting at Turn 535.

For this part’s featured OC we have /u/ARedundantSofa’s HRE ghostball. They’ve done it again, this time with a civball showing the different emperors the HRE had during their time on the cylinder.

Vihreaa of course gives us their great hand-drawn map, coming out mere hours after the part. I still can’t imagine how it comes out this fast. Good job as always.

Chicago_Ball gives us a glimpse into an alternate universe where everyone performed according to their Part 1 ranking. There are plenty of differences in this version of the Cylinder, and it serves as a reminder that predictions don’t always come true.

Number 1 in the Power Rankings is retaken by the Guay. As it was written. The Guay are moving once more, and the only thing stopping them are the massive war-blocking carpets everywhere.

And here we go! The Tongan submarine fleet sails for Tongoleleka to try and stop the latest Nazcan push before it begins.Nazcan bombers are keeping Tofoa in the black so if they can slip a unit through, they can keep it.

Someone’s bombing Bangalore, though I’m not quite sure who it is. Gothic paratroopers and their friends serve as a second barrier, as if it weren’t already hard enough to get through the rough terrain.

Tlacopan continues to teeter on the brink of falling. If Geronimo can sneak in a melee unit, the city is his. The sheer amount of peacekeepers makes it hard, though.

Riel retakes Fort-des-Praries and it’s highly unlikely the Yup’ik can take it back. The masses of foreign roadblocks look like they’re going to stop any further progress in this war. It’s a shame really. I liked how the Yup’ik managed to grab all those northern cities.

We head over to Central Europe. The area is quiet for now, but local newspapers report rumors of future conflict. No one really trusts these tabloids, and peace reigns for now.

Australian land units continue to flood into Tonga. Maybe the Nazca were scared of the sheer amount of Australians?

To the south, CarrierCon 4380 takes place, with all three participating nations bringing planes to the event.

The Shikoku push into Evenk lands has slowed down for now, as Viking robotic units march through the tundra. Khamug explorers take a very close look at the Evenks, pointing their telescopes at everything they see, particularly the bombed-out cities in the north.

We get our first look at the Venezuelan Unique Unit, the Tortuga. BC informs me that it replaces the Tank, is much weaker, but a copy is created when it is built. When it runs out of moves, it performs a ranged attack on a nearby enemy unit. It also produces culture when being built. I think this will help Chavez fill his lands and keep foreign units away.

The divided Hawaiian islands return for this latest view of the Hawaii Battle Royale. I’d like to draw your attention to the difference in naval composition between the Haida and Shikoku. The Haida primarily have destroyers, while the Shikoku put their trust in modern submarines.

This shot of the Aussie-Kiwi border shows a significant difference in production priorities. Hawke has been building lots of his Paratrooper unique unit, the SASR, while Seddon seems to have focused on Missile Cruisers and Nuclear Submarines.

We take a look at the northern Guay core, which seems to have less advanced units than the deployments abroad. Of note is the massive Nexus outside of the city of Treinta y Tres. The Nazca also seem to have replaced the Kuikuro as the Great Wall of South America.

The former west Selk’nam coast is slowly flooded with Nazca and Guay units. Seddon is still trying to push into Tierra del Fuego, but it doesn’t look like he has enough units to make any progress for now.

The Metis-Yup’ik war stagnates, but cities continue to take damage from bombing, just waiting for a unit to slip into a gap.

The Shikoku-Haida border is quite complicated, just the way I like it. There’s a surprisingly large amount of Cantonese units up here, with a few Indian Garuda Troopers.

The Moors have placed themselves under the protection of the Qin, while the Manx have done the same with the Parthians. BC also informs me that the Manx have also made peace with Venice, with no cities traded.

The Iroquois core is quite devoid of their troops, but the troops that are there are very advanced, almost completely composed of Future Worlds units. Quite a few Goo drones are present in the area as well.

More Goo drones and other units fill the eastern Sami lands, while the Goths have very few foreign units and a good, if slightly outdated, carpet.

South of the Haida core lands we see literal boatloads of destroyers and other assorted units, both naval and ground. No one’s going to be taking their land by sea anytime soon.

We see the western Qin lands in this shot. It’s full of units, and I think the Khamugs and Taungoo are currently on par in terms of units present at the border. Also Nuwakot isn’t falling anytime soon.

As an Orbital Bomber flies by Porlamar, we see a bunch of Manx units appear in the area, having had nowhere to go since they were warped from Nebby-knows-where.

As I narrate this shot, it’s a still image but if everything goes as planned, this is a GIF-Tastic(™) shot of Orbital Bombers taking out a bunch of units. Dawkinzz, be careful how you pronounce “gif”...

Tonga has finally brought a Destroyer to ‘Uiha. If it doesn’t get sunk, barring AI stupidity, they’ll retake the city next turn. A Great Musician comes along for the ride, blasting epic battle music for the upcoming battle.

The great Viking navy in the North Sea, full of modern, up-to-date units and an amusingly large amount of sail-powered ships. I even spot a Longship. The Sami have some too, but their excuse is that they can’t get those ships home without open borders.

Unlike the real world, the East Sea is indisputably Burmese, as it should be. These Cantonese with their “two-dash line” around Chu Hoi are just being silly. Bayinnaung doesn’t seem to have the tech to upgrade their navy to Future Worlds units yet, which means that Ching Shih has, in theory, some measure of parity with Taungoo, though she doesn’t seem to be able to upgrade some of her museum-quality units.

Venezuela has a large, relatively advanced navy, and a lack of a significant foreign military presence, though they seem to have open borders with the Guay. They also seem to have a sizable air force in the Caribbean. Of note: Maracay is pretty big at 66 pop.

That’s…a lot of Zimbabwe Paratroopers. Mutota has a good modern navy and is churning out advanced units as well. They’re in a good position. Reports of ghostly sailing ships rounding the Cape of Good Hope are said to be “heavily exaggerated.”

I actually forgot this border existed. The Maratha presence south of Australia is a mix of modern and very outdated units. The Aussies have an interesting mix of land and naval units guarding their southern coast.

The Prussians citadel the Vikings, dropping a citadel outside of Speyer. That could be a sign of future aggression, or it could be nothing.

Two Nexuses float menacingly just off the Uruguayan coast as one irrelevant war ends and two begin. The Manx and Beta Israel make peace, and the Qin and Evenks double declare on the Aztecs.

A Kiwi Rocket Artillery blasts a unit on an island to the south as Nubia and Benin pile onto the Aztec war. Tiles to the west of the remaining Selk’nam cities burn as Apache and Metis forces occupy them.

Shivaji takes Bhaktapur with a Mechanized Infantry. There’s basically no way it gets retaken unless something changes. The Goo is in the way now, and it’s unlikely they’ll go much further.

Hudson Bay is full of Metis Supercarriers, and quite a wide variety of other units too, even old sailing ships. The Iroquois side of the border is full of foreign units.

Oh. Nepal retakes Bhaktapur, making me eat my words. They look to keep it for now, since bearded Europeans are blocking the way. So much for that gain.

Someone is bombing Haveluloto. It’s not clear who, though. The attack on ‘Uiha has seemingly failed. This war seems to be stagnating for some reason, even without foreign units blocking the way.

Australia is filling Tongan waters with embarked land units. The Tongans are sending tons of submarines out, noquite sure where exactly.

The Metis core is full of Metis units, thankfully. They seem to have a good thick carpet across their lands. Sizable cities as well.

The Prussians citadel the Vikings again. Cheeky.

All the Tongan units are gone from the Nazca occupied islands. Tofoa and ‘Uiha are both at low health, though. Also more Aussie embarked units.

Khamug exploration units form a wall of telescopes to protect the poor Evenk civilians from the advancing Shikoku forces. Every Evenk city in this shot is at zero health. Mutoray will fall next turn.

We see the Shikoku/Qin border. Both are well carpeted, but Shikoku has more advanced units. I like to imagine a DMZ across the Korean peninsula here.

The Iroquois get to propose stuff at the UN, after building the Forbidden Palace. They propose banning Citrus to increase scurvy worldwide. The Taungoo propose banning Incense.

Another one. Old Fritz has really got it out for Ragnar, huh. They’re at the gates of Vienna. Impressive.

The Apache make a good push towards Tlacopan by sea. It’s very likely the city falls soon.

Ptolemy informs us that Riel is the pointiest and stickiest of our leaders. Everyone at the top of this list has large amounts of expeditionary troops across the cylinder.

We take a look at Indonesia, where three empires have different parts of the archipelago. I hear faint Dutch rapping in the distance...

Madagascar looks very peaceful this time of year. Ranavalona has done little of relevance since their failed war against Zimbabwe. I think she’s just trying to make it to Endgame, personally.

Cavanbah remains as a monument to Kiwi refusal to bow down to Australia. This little foothold is more symbolic than anything, however. The real story is told by the different types of unit spam on either side of the border.

Ooooof. Another citadel. And with that, Speyer is reduced to  zero adjacent friendly land tiles. Prussia now also borders the North Sea. Brutal.

Something bombards Tongoleleka. I’m not sure what it is though. Tonga also surges a good amount of units towards ‘Uiha. None of them are melee units, though….

Zimbabwe and Parthia occupy more than half of Venice’s land tiles in this shot. Enrico mumbles something about the foreign nations “not sending their best”. Bursa is visible at zero health at the edge of the shot.

What I presume to be a Nazca Fighter Jet attacks what looks like a Tongan submarine with anti-ship missiles. The Nazca have the advantage here, and Tonga should work on retaking their cities first.

Tonga has somehow found a Destroyer and retook ‘Uiha. They can take Tongoleleka if they manage to hold on to that boat. Haveluloto might be harder, however.

A New Zealander Missile Cruiser sails into Hamenk’s harbor. It carries missiles, though I can’t tell if they’re nukes. It is completely unsupported, though. The nearest melee units is north of Kauxsel.

Shikoku takes Mutoray. If they can get a melee unit through, the next four cities are wide open for them.

Prussia gets a fifth citadel into Viking lands! Now this just seems like Frederick being a massive bully. He even has two more Great Generals ready to inflict more pain.

A unit takes damage as Nepal continues to be the target of a large air campaign. Nepal only has peacekeepers and mountains to thank for their continued survival.

Tonga has taken Haveluloto and has another backup Destroyer since the first one is about to get sunk. The Nazca have moved their air power to their carriers for some reason.

The Metis take a Yup’ik city. I didn’t expect any more cities to fall in this war, but Riel has snuck a Mechanized Infantry unit past the neutral units.

We get our first look this part of the Straits of Malacca. Weird settling here has given us very...interesting borders. This wouldn’t be a problem if there was a civ that started here…. Also the city of Taungoo has 69 pop. I have to mention that.

Another Evenk city falls to Sakamoto. Slowly but surely, he’s taking a large bite out of Bombogor’s lands. The Khamug explorers are now in boats, looking to see what’s behind the mists at the top of the cylinder.

Shivaji retakes Bhaktapur. I’m not even going to predict if he holds it. Why won’t Nepal die already…. I apologize if any Nepal fans are hurt by this comment.

Six. Six citadels. All the way to Frankfurt am Main. A Manx minister makes a speech. “Between Speyer in the Baltic to Vienna in the North Sea a steel curtain has descended across the Continent…”

After what looks like a peace deal, Shikoku has gained about four Evenk cities. The entire eastern half of Bombogor’s empire is gone. A pleased Sakamoto leaves the conference, making plans for his next move.

I’m not sure if this is a peace deal or it’s one of those weird turns where both sides move away from the front, but no cities have changed hands for now.

Well, Bhaktapur hasn’t fallen. Yet. There are some really lost units in the Himalayas, though.

We take a look at the Beta Israeli territory and the Horn of Africa. We see the Algerian Dey, in his personal boat, observing the latest in military advances before he returns to the UN for another session of dealmaking.

In international waters, a broad assortment of units sails about, unable to get past the fleets of nearby nations or other stranded ships. Some call them the “White Fleet”, with their faded and sun-bleached banners still flying.

The Tonga-Nazca war resumes active status. Only the Nazca have a melee unit anywhere nearby, though. I predict a whole lot of nothing for now.

It looks like the Prussians are shooting into the Siberian mists. Perhaps they hope to drive away the ghosts of the tundra? Time will tell if it works.

The Tongans have thinned out the Nazca units, though still with a grand total of zero melee units. I’m staying on my prediction of nothing happening in the near future.

The Metis are actually trying to push some more into Yup’ik lands, interestingly. They don’t yet have the units to take the next city, but if they push some more, it could pay off.

Oh yeah Nubia still exists. They still have a carpet, but it’s very out of date. Only Beta Israel deploys worse tech than them.

Somehow a couple of Selk’nam units have found their way to Haveluloto. That’s good for the Nazca I guess. Sometimes I call the Selk’nam the “Selkies” because it sounds cute. Just like Selk’nam-chan, which is actually the name for the Selk’nam language if anyone was wondering.

Speaking of the Selk’nam, they’ve retaken a city! I’m not going to mention it by name for Dawkinzz’ benefit, just like any other I think are too difficult. I would like to take this moment to thank Dawkinzz for the beautiful audio narration, and to mention that CB is the best, thank you.

The mysterious gray mists cover the tundra as the Prussians fire at ghostly targets. No one knows what exactly they’re doing outside of Elbing but they seem to have a good idea themselves.

We see the northern Kiwi islands. They have a good amount of units floating around, though not a carpet. It is a good mix of melee and ranged, however.

A lot of Madagascan units are floating around in the Atlantic, between Uruguayan cities. There’s a surprising amount of civs represented in this shot. Also the Aztecs and Evenks make peace, while the Sami and Nepal are at war.

Nepal makes peace with Maratha and gives away Gorkha. That’s a solid win, if a bit small for Shivaji. I am told that QIn also peaced, but no cities were traded.

Nothing really important happens on the main part of this slide. That’s just the truth, and no ranting Haida citizen will tell me otherwise. The real news is in the sidebar. Benin and the Kazakhs declare war on Beta Israel. Benin might do something since they share a small border. Don’t expect much though.

The Aztecs...still aren’t dead. Last-minute Australian deployments have blocked Apache melee units from attacking the city. I wonder how much longer Montezuma’s luck will last.

Palmyra and the Khamugs declare war on the Seljuks. Nishapur is in the yellow, and Alp Arslan is in real danger now. The Khamugs make peace with the Manx. This is not good for any Seljuk stonks.

Nubia takes Emfraz and look to keep it. Dabat is in a more defensible position and will take much longer to capture. The Beta Israeli navy in the Red Sea will help too. Though the only thing red in the sea is a Cantonese Skirmisher. BC also informs me that this and all other following slides will be zoomed in to avoid crashes when recording.

The Maratha declare war on Beta Israel, and so an embarked Gatling Gun, which claims to be the Beta Israeli unique unit, pillages the ocean. A nearby Qin Paratrooper gives a questioning look.

The Haida declare war on the Yup’ik offscreen, and various cities are taking damage. Koyah does have naval superiority, so I don’t expect this to go well for the Minty Bois.

Zenobia has taken Nishapur! The only nearby Seljuk unit is a Skirmisher, which is ranged. I’ll have to call it now. Cue the sad music…

The Seljuks never settled much in the early game, and their high point was taking Rey and Nizwa, crippling Oman. Sandwiched between strong, expansive neighbors, Alp Arslan never really had a chance. He tried breaking out through the weaker south, but it drew the ire of Zenobia. He settled the Maldives, as a potential retreat, but it was taken away from him. After being turned into a city-state, the once-great city of Nishapur was citadeled on all sides, reducing it to two land tiles by the end. There was hope of you making it to Endgame, but Zenobia put a stop to that distant hope. You will remain in my heart the best Turks of Seabricks for me. Farewell. F.

The Alaskan War spreads into Kamchatka, with the Yup’ik using the ice to conduct intrusions into Haida waters. A wall of Cantonese prevent anything really significant from happening, though.

On our last slide we see multiple Haida cities in the yellow, with Yup’ik melee units charging forward. This is a gamble, and we’ll have to see next time what happens.

nyway, this is Cardboard, and I’d like to say hi to everyone on the Discord, and all the spinoff communities of the CBR. Five years ago I discovered the Civ Battle Royale, and this became my first real online community. I’ve made plenty of friends and had great times here. I’ve discovered much about myself, and broadened my horizons, far beyond my wildest dreams. I love you all, especially you, yes you know who you people are. This has been a wonderful time, and a wonderful place. Have my virtual hugs too, wherever you are.