Episode 33: All Aboard The Green Submarine – S1

We all live in a Green Submarine, all of our friends are on board, and many more, are next door.

Hello everyone! It is I, u/Amelia-likes-birds, previously known as Darkanine! I’ve been a fan of the Royale since Mark I (Inuit can STILL win-you-it!) but as I grew older and more busy, I haven’t been able to follow it as much as I would’ve liked. Well, none of that matters today as I get to present to you all my commentary! *Fangirl squee* I hope you appreciate the amount of Beatles’ and Gorillaz’ references in this part.

Our OC of the week is this wonderful Yupik Civ ball by u/thehonestyfish. It kind of resonated with me because my dad made us move in the middle of a forest so no one could snipe at us...seriously.

Once again, the wonderful tile accurate map by u/edse1991. Without it, I thought the Iroquois were the Shikoku...oh boy.

And the hand-drawn version by u/Vihreaa. As beautiful as always!

Iroquois is number one! As someone who is actually 50% Native, albeit belonging to a different, but related, group, it’s really cool to see these guys doing so well!

Remember when I said I haven’t been following it as much as I would’ve liked? Well in that little caveat I thought Nepal were wiped out already...Well regardless, the city of Nuwakot is in the red and is surrounded on all sides by Goth and Taungoo units. Also a Parthian cannon near there too, but with no melee units, they have no chance to take it.

Second verse, same as the first. The Prussian city of Ostrava is in the yellow with Gothic units surrounding it on one side and Malagasy and Zimbabwean units on the other.

Frankfurt an der Oder is in the black as Saami and Evenks units storm! As an early fan of Prussia, it’s a shame to see our once cool little empire reduced to this.

Ah, the Khamung and Qin border and...oh jeez, every city here is severely damaged.

And in part 2 of “Civs Amelia already thought were gone,'' Algeria denounces New Zealand. Meanwhile, the Gothic-Kazahk, Parthian border is loaded with units and defensive improvements.

More Qin cities shown to be in dire situations as Manx melee units draw near.

Gone are the days where units could appreciate the beauty of the world and relax. Not a single land tile is left unoccupied as Moorish, Qin, Venetian and Gothic units roam the countryside

As we see a shot of the north Siberian coastline, we see that things are much the same over there. The Nenets do however have two great scientists and a general...I wonder what they plan on doing with those.

To the side we see that Nepal has completed the Manhattan Project. May the Gods of Old help us all.

As Ostrava is still in the red, the Prussian city of Brno is in the yellow

Now a shot of the south Atlantic sea, with ships from the Taungoo to the Nazca. It’s relatively calm waters, for now...

As the Nazca switch from Order to Autocracy, the Iroquois attempt to repeal the embargo on their new facist friends. Meanwhile, Bayinnaung attempts to make Bogomilism the world religion.

And the Tongan city of Topoa has just been bombed! However, at the current time, I am unsure who performed the crime.

Alerted by the disaster in Topoa, Siaosi organizes a fleet to investigate. There’s also a Stealth Bomber near their fleet, but without a unit icon, I’m unsure who it belongs to.

The previously (relatively) peaceful scene is interrupted as yet another bombing takes place.

I love the mishmash of dated units in these slides. Do you think the crews of older ships get annoyed that they’re forgotten as their nations build bigger and better boats? I would be...we should unionize for better equipment. Also, a civilization either gained or changed their ideology, but I’m unsure which.

Frankfurt still has not yet fallen, but the southern city of Bromburg has entered the red.

It’s oddly kind of depressing seeing the world getting so...dystopian. Farms burning, military installations everywhere, once mighty cities reduced to shells of their former glory. We all knew it was going to get this bad, but it still stings a little.

The city of Vladimir in particular appears to be in the black though it’s rather hard to tell due to the Gothic color scheme.

Greenland is almost split perfectly in half, but as Strassaburg is in the black, perhaps Zimbabwe can get a foothold in the great, icy Island. To the right, I believe the Iroquious had just declared war on the Vikings, so perhaps their presence in the island will be kaput before long.

Back in the mainland holds of the Vikings...border gore like I’ve never seen it. While the east is controlled by the Saami and the west by the Vikings, the center is a weird, abominal line of what I believe are the Goths? Lordy, just imagining navigating that makes me a bit queasy.

Surprisingly, no settlements on what I believe is Svalbard and/or Jan Mayen? About half the land is under control of what I believe are the Saami while a huge fleet of Viking submarines march under the ice-caps of the top of the world.

It was the worst of times...it was just the worst of times. One more final shot of the Viking-Saami border as Ribe and I believe Alta stare off at one another. Amelia’s note: I actually have really poor eyesight so I apologize if I mess up this stuff.

Prussia takes the stinky city of Frankfurt an der Oder from Alaric and uh, I’m not sure where else I’m going to say this buuuuut in WWE lore, John Cena is canonically the current reincarnation of Alaric so uh, take from that what you will.

In addition to the Iroquios, the Goths, Saami and Taungoo have all waged war on the poor little Viking state, and what appears to be the first skirmish of the Viking-Gothic war has just begun!

I’ve mentioned it before, but you gotta appreciate the anachronistic stew that is the cylinder. Classical warships side by side submarines. Amazing.

ʻUiha and Tofoa are both left in zero health.

The first known skirmish of the current Saami-Viking front! Eadni has a whole...two units compared to Ragnar’s 34 units from my count.

A ship, which I can only assume is Ragnar’s, was bombed, but I’m not quite sure by who. Meanwhile, his cities on Greenland have not gotten any stronger since.

...Literally as Hiawatha’s side of Greenland is significantly nicer than Raggy Bois. Meanwhile, the Qin make peace with Palmyra.

I don’t really know what to say about this one. It’s so convoluted that I ended up just counting how many civs were in frame (I counted 8) cities are taking damage, but aren’t swapping hands as far as I can tell.

I’m writing this at 1 in the morning, and for some reason, my tired ass brain pictured the Evenks as being like, worshippers and Brandenburg was their idol of worship...well regardless, the city is surrounded on all sides but one by the invaders.

...Oh boy.

About a lucky Civ who caught a city.

And though the news was rather sad

Well, I just had to laugh

Cahuachi has captured Tofoa, proving him to be a fine replacement for Pachacuti the Earth Shaker.

You know how some graphic mods like R.E.D. have a bunch of units on a flat terrain to show off their art? I’m getting serious vibes from that as a bunch of armies, including Scotland with Composite Bowmen of all things.

Strassaburg is still in black, and I believe it’s firing at a naval unit of unidentified civilization. To the south, the Iroquois city of St. John is in the Red as a Viking unit damages it. Meanwhile, Ragnar makes peace with Beta Israel.

Tofoa remains in Cahuachi’s hands, and I sincerely apologize but I do not know if this animation means it’s attacking, or being attacked...I rarely play past the Medieval era to be honest...

Coiot’s Note: It was a Tongan Airplane

I’m genuinely surprised the Ottoman’s have held out this long! Long enough to see their once beautiful landscape turned into a cold, metal and wartorn...well, they would’ve probably done the same anyway. As we can see, Palmyra absolutely dominates this region of the world, but Ottomans own just enough land to make movement hellish for them. Good on you!

In Arabia, the city of Nzwa is finally taken from Madagascar and looks to be in Palmyran hands for awhile. What you’ll also notice is India’s UU, the Garuda Trooper. It’s a paratrooper replacement that can heal when nearby other Garudas and when garrisoned can provide 1 Uranium. Indira will have to put them and all of that sweet Uranium to good use if they want to survive to Endgame.

Oh...Oh damn, Nuku’Alofa does not appear to be long for this world as its surrounded by a ton of Australian units.

In East Asia, the Chinese mountain side and subsequent mountain settlements of Ju and Didao are being attacked, though the forces are a bit unclear. Elsewhere, Beta Israel and the Metis make up.

The Saami have taken the city of Ribe from the vikings!

...As Ribe falls to the Saami, the Vikings take the city of St. Johns from the Iroqoius. Amazing.

...And Ribe falls again, this time to the Iroqoius. There’s gotta be a word for when something like this happens.

The mountain city of Kathmandu is in the red as Shikoku and Taungoo surround the city.

Alta falls to the Vikings. I am not brainy enough to come up with proper words to describe

Nazca is killing it in their Polynesian conquest. Fun fact, it’s speculated the Inca may have had traded with Polynesian people groups, so that’s pretty cool.

The Khamung city of Margadai enters yellow as the Qin city of Lanzhou enters black.

The Viking victory proves to be short lived as Alta is once again taken back by Eadni.

The Californian Yupik city of Tlacopan appears to be the center of wanted attention by numerous naval powers…

On a sidenote, Californian Yupik sounds like the name fo a late 90s-early 2000s kids movie.

Several Viking cities in and near the Italian Peninsula are severely damaged.

Potsdam has been captured by the Goths!

Metis and Australia both declare war on New Zealand.

Well, Brno is no longer in any noticeable danger, and I may have missed it earlier, but Ostrava is now officially a Gothic city!

Mua is still in Tongan hands, but I doubt that’ll remain for too long...also, fittingly enough, those borders are totally reminding me of the clouds in Spongebob Squarepants. Meanwhile, I believe that’s a Minoan vessel? I can only imagine what their thoughts and opinions may be during these trying times. Do they know what submarines are? Planes? Nuclear warheads? Or do they think these machinery are tools of the gods of old?

Australia is now apparently an Autocratic state! Give us a big applause for our fascists overlords.

A Golden Age has begun! Also total shout out to the Evenks with four, nearly perfectly aligned cities.

A nice spread of the absolute G I R T H of Shikoku. Siberia is big, and there’s nearly no spot that she doesn’t at least border.

Haida is big, but slowing. Their only current war is with the Yup’ik, who aren’t exactly an exciting target.

The Vikings take back Ribe and a ton of cities are hugely damaged. I guess that’s just the norm.

Dude, shoutout to Elbing, despite being far away from the Prussian heartland, in the middle of Siberia with a decent amount of unworkable tiles, still manages to have a population higher than any of its neighbors. Also, the Nenet capital of Nadym is in red with Australian units applying some serious pressure.

Literally all of the Viking cities pictured have no Health, it’s just a matter of time for someone to swoop in...or for nothing to happen. Well,

Very few tiles in Europe are free of unit occupation, from the Taungoo and Malagasy to nearby civs like the Ottomans to local powers, it’s a bit of a clusterfuck.

Australia’s military force in East Asia, is large, but a bit stretched thin.

Despite the land being few and far between, Oceania is definitely not a stranger to border gore...yikes. Nuku’Alofa is still in red by the way.

Although Cahuachi conquered a not insignificant amount of Oceania, their actual carpet is rather slim. Hope they fix that soonish.

For what it’s worth, it’s rather impressive Selk’nam managed to keep its original capital of Kauwes for this long.

In the shot of the east, we see a not too shabby, but unfocused Selk’nam military force. Probably woefully unprepared to wage war with any of their neighbors, but possibly good enough to defend themselves for a bit longer.

Important note that, even though Australia’s military is just...strewn across the map, they still got a strong core going on. Even the moderately mighty New Zealand seems to dwarf in comparison.

Cities begin to heal, notably Baoding and Margadai over in Northeast Asia.

West Europe, the place where hopes and dreams go to die. Well, from a quick scan, I do not detect any major changes at least.

And, perhaps unsurprisingly, the Lumberjack Kings and Queens of the Iroqoius are the most happy people in all of the world with nearly double that of the second highest guy, Seddon. Maybe police states aren’t so bad after all.

Well, that was my part. Kinda not expecting it to go down in the all-time greats but I hope it was at east entertaining. I apologize since I was kind of out of my element, I’m an anthropology nerd so I love going into history of the cities and such, but it’s well-past the point that would be insightful.

As for shameless plug hour. I’m also a Power Ranker, commentator and audio narrator for the Lefon Royale series, though due to time constraints, I haven’t been able to produce much parts yet. I’m also a super amateur Civ V modder currently working on splitting the Inca Civilization into five different Civs. Do seafaring, horse-riding, ultra-versatile Inca sound fun? If so, look out for that in a million years or so.