Episode 34: The Great Pacific Showdown, and, the other things – S1

Welcome my friends, to the one and only Civilization Battle Royale, X! Part 34 to be exact. I am your very grateful host u/Munkey_Chumbles (@Benus on the discord), and I am delighted to narrate a part full of excitement, heartbreak, and even more shitpost material! I have been following the CBR for more than 3 years now and I have finally been graced with the chance to narrate, and the wait was well worth it. Sit back, grab a drink and some snacks, and enjoy the show!

The Prussian Monitor always keeps me up to date with the happenings around Prussia and its near neighbors. I absolutely love hearing the Prussian’s views of all the events of the Cylinder, I can’t wait to hear about this part!

With about 6 months under our belt, it’s pretty humorous to see where we all went wrong in our predictions. I for one, am absolutely flawless in my predictions and predicted Shikoku’s rise to power way back when they hadn’t made a single settler. But for real, what a good post idea u/HeadLocke!

Vihreaa again graces us with an insanely speedy map. It always helps me digest what the hell just happened after every single part. Thanks Vihreaa!

The Iroquois manage to hold on to the #1 spot for the second week in a row. Will Uruguay be able to take back their rightful spot?

We begin our journey with a shot of the static Prussian-Goth front, but trust me, we won’t be seeing many more static fronts the rest of the part.

St. John’s is firmly in the Iroquois’ grasp, but the rest of the water and land seems to be stuck in a logjam of peacekeeping units.

Ice clings to the hulls of Zimbabwean transport ships, and their crews begin to wonder what peace they’re trying to protect.

Four Aussie super carriers sit just off the coast of Tasmania, holding 12 aircraft! The entire island is flanked on all sides by Australian units, giving little hope of escape for the trapped Kiwis.

Queanbeyan is in the black, with an Australian SASR at full health, ready to claim victory for their empire.

No Metis units in sight.

Queenstown, with an impressive 46 population, is pictured being stealthily bombed by Hawke’s wide-reaching military.

I’m not sure why that bomber would at all be considered a ‘stealth’ bomber, as it looks big enough to block out the sun for a majority of the city.

Bob Hawke assumes control of the entire Australian continent, finally kicking Seddon out of Tasmania.

Hawke’s siege army is now heading east to the home islands of New Zealand.

Christchurch and Invercargill are swallowed up, and, sorry Seddon, submarines are NOT an effective strategy in taking back your lost territories.

A Canton ship uses their telescopes to watch the brutal takeover of Christchurch. They report back to Ching Shih that under no circumstances should their citizens be left to Australian rule. Shih then immediately sends a holographic telegram to the Qin to come and put them out of their misery.

The same carrier, with those four planes, (I am now officially deeming this carrier the HMAS Unsinkable II) is sitting in the water just outside of their new conquest, Auckland!

For the first time in CBRX history, another civilization has made landfall on the islands of New Zealand, and both Dargaville and Wellington are dangerously close to falling.

A quick break from the Pacific carnage.

Stuck between a mountain range and a freezing ocean, Ribe looks to return to its rightful Viking owners. The Viking-Sami war seems to be one of the only wars devoid of peacekeeping units, besides the Pacific of course.

Looks like the stealth bombing didn’t work, as Queenstown begins to recover. Further south, Hawera falls to the green tide.

We also see the HMAS Unsinkable II eyeing up the competition.

The Australians continue to take bites out of Seddon’s empire, and now more than half of the South Island is under their control. The Kiwis are not putting up as much resistance as I thought they would.

Frankfurt an der Oder is now surrounded as the Goths take Danzig. Contrary to the south, the northern front seems to be much more elastic.

A Prussian general responds “Nüsse!’ to a Gothic surrender request.

Seddon’s army has either fled, defected, or been completely obliterated, because I can’t find it anywhere. Gisborne and Queenstown are both taken by Hawke.

The New Zealand capital falls with, again, very little resistance. I see very few troops that stand a chance of taking back any of these losses.

There are a strange amount of Kiwi settlers in these slides, maybe they’re going to settle a completely new civilization after this one has fallen? Maybe it explains where those millions of people from Auckland and Wellington went… the Australians can’t be THAT bloodthirsty, can they?

A healthy mix of Prussian and Madagascan troops block any troop movement in this area of Europe, which prevents any easy recapture of Danzig.

One of the last bastions of hope for Tonga, Nuku’alofa is under little threat from Nazca as it stands currently, but if Cahuachi can get that tank across the ocean somehow, it could fall.

The Queenstown island chain returns to it’s peaceful existence and the tide of war shifts away.

Seddon’s personal missile cruiser waits for the last refugees of Wellington to board. Seddon’s decision to send troops to take back Wellington was viewed as idiotic, pitiful, and purely a publicity stunt by most of his generals, but the decision was made as a last ditch effort to save HIS citizens.

Hawke continues to systematically dismantle New Zealand, taking back their capital Wellington, as well as Porirua.

It seems as if Hawke doesn’t care enough to take New Zealand’s northern holdings. If nothing drastic happens, I’d wager on Seddon’s empire being exiled to the northern Pacific and Marianas Islands.

It’s a last desperate attempt to hold Dargaville long enough to escort it’s citizens out before the Australians roll in.

The Unsinkable II sits in Greymouth harbor for repairs. It’s crew are rewarded by Bob Hawke himself for their amazing performance on the high seas in a most beautiful ceremony on the docks of Greymouth. It’s captain, Nolan Kelly, is rewarded with a week long vacation to Tasmania.

Up north, the fighting ends between the Sami and Vikings. Ribe ends in Viking hands and all is well… well besides the thousands to millions of lives lost in a war of no gains for either side.

Prussia and Sami also make peace with the Goths.

Haveluloto is still recovering from it’s recent conquest. The Nazca have studied Shikoku and fully outfitted their own navy with submarines.

Very little fighting has been pictured between Australia and New Zealand in the past couple shots, but we can only assume that the Kiwi submarines must be wreaking havoc on Australian merchant ships.

Offscreen, Seddon recaptures Wanganui.

Seddon’s generals eat their words as the North Island is almost completely back under their control. I was not expecting this. Finally some resistance!

That paratrooper looks in place to flip back Auckland, but for how long?

Our favorite invisible civ is in serious danger of falling for good. Their last city is teetering on the edge, but not many units in sight can tip that scale.

The Great Pacific War shifts northward, but with resistance in the south around Wellington, Hawke is in danger of spreading himself too thin. Be careful Bob!

Somehow some Nazcan submarines made it all the way through the mess of units and borders to Mu’a, and the city picks them off one by one.

Palmerston North is completely cut off from the Chaos of the Great Pacific War. What a peaceful existence.

Masterton and Elevala have already been bombed into the black before any large amount of Australian ships or ground units reach them. Those are some big cities…

Zimbabwe declares war on New Zealand. If Mutota ships some troops across the Indian ocean, they could do some damage and begin their intercontinental empire.

Hawke’s military seems to have a very healthy mix of air power and naval power. Boera and Masterton are set up to fall as soon as they get a melee unit in there.

Last time we saw Mu’a it had two submarines off its coast, and now it's taken by the Nazca. That giant death robot couldn’t have anything to do with it. Tonga is running on borrowed time.

A very noticeable lack of Iroquois units in Greenland, looks like they ran out of steam after taking St. Johns.

After word reached them about the declaration of war on Seddon, the Zimbabwean ‘peacekeepers’ are really starting to question their mission up here.

We can see the result of the Nazca and Tonga peace deal in action here, Tonga is alive!

I honestly can’t tell how many cities they have left, but it can't be more than three.

Wellington is back in the hands of the Aussies, and Hastings joins them.

I’d like to think that bomber is Seddon’s, carrying citizens of Hastings to their safety back up north.

Two Australian great generals take a break from the bloodshed just outside of Porirua. Mu’a recovers from the Nazca-Tonga war.

The Nenets are surprisingly still here, and giving me flashbacks of Yakutia from Mk. 2.

I’m told Qin declares war on the Nenets this turn as well which is, to say the least, not good for any Nenets supporters.

Every single city on screen is in the black, but not a single unit is in range to take anything. This is the definition of a standstill.

The Selk’nam. Out of all people Seddon could’ve declared war on right now, I guess he chose the best one. Besides, obviously, no one. The Nazca do stand to further their reach around South America.

Not even one turn in and the Selk’nam are already toppling. Sadly for Seddon, it seems like he really wasn’t in any position to declare war. Even though his cities are not taking any substantial damage, any damage he does is in vain, and all his potential conquests seem to more likely go to the Nazca.

Taungoo hosts the world congress this year, and proposes repeal on the ban of ivory. “We have too many elephants!” Bayinnaung shouts over the arguing leaders, but to no avail.

Hiawatha thinks the world is too happy, and proposes a ban on dyes of all colors.

Mehmed seems to be attracting a lot of attention, with both Benin and the Manx declaring war in the past two slides. Bursa though, has been untouched by any wars that may have or are still happening with a certain purple civilization.

An amazing 40 population in Bursa!

The Selk’nam still have a little punch left in them, as they begin to strike at New Zealand’s Antarctic holdings. That Uruguayan mechanized artillery might become a problem though...

Just south of Hastings, the Antarctic outpost of Timaru hosts what is left of Seddon’s navy in the frigid ocean. They could try and make a last ditch effort to take back Hastings...

Masterton falls to the Green Army, and every other city on the slide is in the black and in danger of falling.

Mixed in with these high-tech navies, Haida privateers watch on.

Hamenk becomes Nazca, and New Zealand still has absolutely no units in the area. Kauwes will no doubt be the next target for Cahuachi. We are no doubt watching the fall of the Selk’nam here.

One of the only cities untouched by this new war is Yewux, which is pretty well defended from the Nazca and Kiwi forces.

A large Venetian force sits off the coast.

Oh my… it seems our little invisible friends have finally bit the bullet, to the Qin! I think this may constitute the longest capital snipe yet.

The Nenets definitely had a game, what it was, I’m not really sure. I really would not be the best person to write a eulogy for these guys, I pretty much ignored them as much as 90% of the Cylinder did. It was pretty amazing when they began to settle, but truly they never amounted to much more than a smaller, slightly more fun Yakutia. Rest well, knowing you provided us with some sub-par entertainment. You will be missed.

F.

Seddon grabs Kauwes right from Cahuachi’s grasp, and Koresken falls into the red. The Nazca have open borders with New Zealand, so there is still a good chance Cahuachi can make a few more gains.

Boera and Whangamata both flip green with little resistance.

The Great Pacific War rages on, and Taungoo watches silently.

The only thing keeping Kásen black and white is the Uruguayan mech artillery, but the city is still surrounded. If that mech dare move out of the city if it gets the chance, Kásen is surely doomed.

The great general in Timaru plots his revenge on the Aussie menace, and the retaking of Hastings. He receives a message from Seddon far up north, his time will come to show what he’s made of soon. He is our only hope to retake the home isles!

Seddon has had very little success in retaking any of his lost land with his smattering of boats and troops all across the ocean.

Elevala is still at 24 population after flipping to Australia, so I can only imagine how many people died while stuck on that island.

Time is running thin for our Selk’nam friends. Koresken falls to the Nazca, and Kauwes looks like it can hold on for maybe another turn or two.

Auckland and Wellington, two of the most populous cities on the Cylinder have been reduced to 4 and 7 population respectively. I wonder what they do with all that extra housing space?

Australia looks to have a relatively strong hold on New Zealand’s homeland, with no comeback in sight for Seddon.

The Unsinkable II is back on patrol, with a refreshed crew and captain, itching for a fight.

The front down here is relatively the same, except for the fact that Yewux has been bombed into the red.

Uhan-Té seems to have a very limited chance to take back any of the lost cities with that small military.

‘Ohonua was traded to Nazca from Tonga in their peace deal, and what a city it is. A 36 population city is an amazing gain for Nazca if their happiness can handle it.

Selk’nam retake Kauwes from Seddon, but Nazca takes it right back and kicks them off the continent, again.

Just to add insult to the very bad injury, Madagascar and the Moors declare war on New Zealand. The Moors do have the chance to send some boats down to Seddon’s South American holdings.

The Khamugs switch governments mid-war, from Order to Autocracy. The Qin are still having a hard time making any headway with ground units into Jamukha’s land, even allowing Jaruud to heal, even if just slightly.

Jamukha does have a sizable force around Naqu, if only he could reach any of the completely destroyed Qin cities.

Seddon orders the retaking of Minjerribah with what little forces he has left, and it does look like it will be enough with how much Hawke has spread out his army. The Kiwi army just barely holds on to Otorohanga.

The Goths, Zimbabwe, and Iroquois pile on the Selk’nam. Uhan-Té resides in the frozen metropolis of Korkomen with a surprising navy surrounding it.

The Khamug-Qin war is, again, still at a standstill. This area of the map is absolutely full of peacekeepers, really putting a hamper on the action. I can count 11 separate civ’s units in just this screenshot.

Someone up here just got hit with a bomb, but I’m not really sure from who or for whom the bomb was meant for. The frozen wastes haven’t seen much action since the disappearance of the Nenets, so I bet the excitement is welcomed.

Kásen holds on by the skin of that Uruguayan mech artillery, completely surrounded by the Selk’nam navy. Seddon himself sends his regards to Lavalleja.

A lot of cities are switching down here as the Selk’nam continue to try and take back their lands. Uhan-Té retakes Koresken from the Nazca, but it swiftly snatched up by Seddon.

India and Beta Israel declare war on Prussia, perhaps signalling a bigger coalition brewing?

Offscreen, I’m told Maratha peaces out with Beta Israel.

The front is still stable up in northern Asia, a large amount of Manx units block all movement.

The Great Pacific War comes to a close, with New Zealand quarantined to the north Pacific on a few island chains. Australia is sure to rise a significant number in the power rankings.

Lavalleja declares war on the Manx.

One of the last strongholds of the Selk’nam, Yewux, has finally started to feel the heat of war. Both New Zealand and the Nazca are going to have to put a little more effort into this war if they want to take this city.

The Manx and Prussia declare their hatred for Dandolo, with both sides trading hits close to their core territory. Except for the Manx of course who have almost no way of getting into mainland Europe, or have any chance of being threatened by Venice.

Hopefully we’ll actually see some city trading unlike some other wars… *cough* *cough* Khamugs.

The Vikings have almost been completely expelled from Denmark save for the one city tile. Prussia’s citadelling has no doubt changed the map of Europe for the… weirder.

We can also see the Viking’s impressive naval carpet in this slide.

The Khamugs steal Yin from the Qin, one of the first front line changes we’ve seen in this area of the world this part. The battlefield appears to be thinning a bit in some places, hopefully making room for some more Qin or Khamug units.

Prague has sustained no damage so far, but Stettin has seen some fire from the Venetian airforce. This section of the continent has a good amount of peacekeepers, which should slow this war down a bit. yay.

The Gobi Desert seems devoid of units at the moment, but the Khamugs and Qin continue to battle it out up here. Yongcheng is down in the black and wide open for Khamug attack, if only they would bring in some units.

The Manx units are the only thing standing in the way of a grey colored Mukden. India tries to replicate the Manx wall around Qudu.

Brno is on the forefront of the Venice-Prussia war, already almost down to the black. A Venetian great prophet attempts to bring the walls down with prayer.

Olivolo is hurt but not in any current danger, while Prague has still not taken damage.

New Zealand peaces out with the Selk’nam, leaving their fate up to Cahuachi.

We can see one of the last unclaimed tiles on the Cylinder out here on the Galapagos Islands. Both Nazca and Venezuela have a similar sized military in the area but with not much here to gain at the moment, any battles would be for naught.

The Qin snatch up Toghta as the front begins to destabilize. There is an abnormally low amount of peacekeepers in Asia at the moment, and both sides of this war should take the chance to make as many gains as possible before it clogs up again.

The Khamugs bombard Adarkin and its surrounding units hoping to take back the city. Qin does not have much of a force in the area, so Jamukha should have some luck here.

Let's hope this lack of peacekeepers is a trend in the area for the future.

The Qin hold on to Yin, but Jamukha’s generals sweep around the top to capture Mukden. A lack of units in the area could hold things up, and those damn Gothic units aren’t helping.

Venice is bombed into the red and Olivolo continues to face heavy bombardment on the front lines. There is a lack of Venetian troops in their own core, completely taken up by a smattering of civs.

Prussia may have the advantage here if a spot can open up close to any of these cities, one good paradrop and Venice could be in a big heap of trouble.

Mukden flips back to Zheng and Jaruud has a few open tiles that some sneaky Qin units could slip into.

The peacekeepers seem to act as a tide, rolling in some turns, and heading back out to sea others. It is surely high tide at the moment.

Yewux teeters on the edge of disaster. While not the Selk’nam’s last city, it certainly would be a big loss to a civ that’s already lost it all.

Uhan-Té flips through his ‘Monster Manual’, trying to find something big and scary to scare off the invaders. Flipping to the last page, he meets in the middle with the all powerful gods and sighs, “Fine, the Tarrasque will do.”

Venice’s core cities fall into the black, but they all hold on for a bit longer. Europe is absolutely filled to the brim with units, halting any movement in what should be an absolutely game changing war.

Liberec and Aachen start to take fire from Prussia, but all the Venitian units are at full health, showing no signs of battle near the cities.

Vienna clings to Europe, with it’s only land tiles coming from that citadel on Venice.

Mukden flips back to the Qin, bringing the population down to 1. Zheng reinforces his claims with a sizeable and very mobile army, pushing the front away from Beijing.

The Goths are adamant on completely filling up just the front line and nothing in front or behind.

In the bottom left you can see Mukden has been recaptured by the Khamugs. Both militaries are looking fairly even in this shot, and with the constant flip flopping I could assume both sides are evenly matched at this point in time.

The Qin steal Margadai, a city completely surrounded by Jamukha’s borders.

A couple Australians take a nap on the deck of their lake boats as the anti-aircraft guns fire in the distance.

Here on our last slide for this part, we can see the city of Adarkin completely surrounded by the Goths, which are then completely surrounded by the Khamugs. A turducken of civs! I wish the citizens of Adarkin luck with that missile currently inbout on their city.

A shot of Greenland and all it’s colorful glory. Strassburg and Vasteras are both being bombed, but I don’t think I can see a single Iroquois unit in the Vikings’ borders.

Our recently deceased friends are now full of Qin units, and the Kazakhs are absolutely brimming with Metis units. Not a good sign for Ablai Khan, who doesn’t have enough room for his own military.

It’s strange to see this border peaceful again… although the horrid bordergore isn’t any more sightly than war.

Both sides have filled up their borders with troops relatively well.

Lots and lots of cities in the black or red up here in Manchuria. Looking more like a Khamug dominated area, if only they could get their troops in there.

A line of Gothic troops stretches across the slide, blocking most movement for both the Qin and Khamugs.

Not a lot of action on the mountain front, lots of cities in the black, but no flipping. Poor Nepal.

Lots and lots of damaged Prussian cities, but their army is able to hold the ground around them. Prussia looks to almost completely outmatch Venice on the the ground, but with no room to get in.

We finally get a shot of New Zealand’s new capital, the 69 (nice) population city of Palmerston North. And north it is, extremely far north from where the Kiwi’s really belong.

Nazca’s borders are looking a bit thin of units, hopefully they’ll fill that all in soon.

Former Selk’nam lands, split between the Nazca and New Zealand. Yewux looks just a bit safer than before.

A view of Selk’nam’s new capital city, Korkomen, shows us just how bad the damage is. Uhan-Té’s empire has been reduced to just two cities, with one under fire from the Nazca.

It has been an absolute joy to finally narrate an episode for you friends, a goal of mine for a very, very long time. This has been u/Munkey_Chumbles, I hope this was as enjoyable for you all as it was for me! Hope to narrate again soon <3