Episode 43: Lines in the Sand – S1

Release Date:

April 22, 2020

Narrated by:

thehonestyfish

Video:

Audio Narration

Abstract

Old wars give way to new wars, while the scrappy underdogs struggle to stay alive amid the chaos around them.

Viewing: Vertical

Jump to scene

Please Stand for the National Anthem...

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1: Please Stand for the National Anthem...

Tonight, on a very special episode of CBRX - tensions flare, wars are declared, and one of the civs you’ve grown to love is gonna horribly die. I’m /u/thehonestyfish, and I’ll be your narrator for this week. Those of you know who know me may know me as the outspoken, shameless Nenets supporter, or maybe as the guy who’s way behind on putting together “greatest extent” maps (they’re coming soon, I promise). Either way, I hope you have as much fun with this episode as I’ve had, since it’s quite a doozy. Please make sure your seat backs are in the upright position and your tray tables are stowed, because we are taking off!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Please Stand for the National Anthem...

1: Please Stand for the National Anthem...

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Zimbabwe, Probably. And they’ve got SPICES.

2: Zimbabwe, Probably. And they’ve got SPICES.

For this week’s OC spotlight, I’m gonna throw it over to /u/holeeey and their adaptation of Bill Wurtz’ “history of the world, or whatever” video. It always manages to amaze me how parts of CBRX track with our actual history, and how that video is so often relevant. Now, if you’ll excuse me for 20 minutes, I need to go watch it again...

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Mapping at the Speed of Vih

3: Mapping at the Speed of Vih

I timed it this week. 3 hours and 15 minutes. That’s how long it took /u/Vihreaa to read the last episode, track all of the changes, make a new map, and release it to the sub. Kudos and hats off, because that is impressive work.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Tile Accuracy Returns

4: Tile Accuracy Returns

This week, we also have the return of the Tile Accurate maps, courtesy of /u/edse1991. As somebody who often uses these tile accurate maps to make my own maps, I’m both extremely pleased to see them return, and feel obliged to point something out for those of you that may not have considered. Putting together the Tile Accurate maps for Endgame’s smaller Cylinder requires brand new template files, which is an extra layer of work which was required before it was even possible to start these maps. Thanks, edse!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Mo’ Power Mo’ Rankings

5: Mo’ Power Mo’ Rankings

I haven’t seen the new PRs at the time of writing this narration, but I think we all know that Nepal is going to slip into the #1 spot, and well deservedly. I would like to thank the Power Rankers for finally opening their eyes, and not giving it to someone weak like Kazakhstan.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Prussian Lindisfarne

6: Prussian Lindisfarne

We kick off tonight’s part with a view of the Viking raid into mainland Europe against the Prussian capital city of Konigsberg. We last saw this city two turns prior, and in the intervening time the city’s health has gone down and the number of adjacent Viking units has gone up. I’d estimate the risk of a flip to be pretty high, but there are still a lot of Prussian swords further inland to take it back, if it comes to that.

7: Canned Humor

Haida signs a peace agreement with Kazakhstan, and celebrates by battering the walls of Metis’ city of Prince Albert. When questioned about why this city was a priority for them, Koyah stated “We have to let him out of the can. He can’t breathe!”

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Receding Glacier

8: The Receding Glacier

The icy cold stalemate in Kamchatka has been looking less and less stale these days, as Shikoku’s army seems poised to finally flip the last remaining Yup’ik city in Asia. Once the city falls, there are no Yup’ik reinforcements anywhere close, so Qerrullik will either stay in Shikoku’s control, or slowly turn into a pile of ash over the next 2 turns.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Canned Humor Redux

9: Canned Humor Redux

“What do you mean that’s just a brand name for pipe tobacco?” exclaimed Koyah, while touring the streets of Prince Albert. He had trekked all the way out to his new conquest to meet the Prince, only to leave disappointed. After all, he had important business to tend to back in Ninstints, where reports were leading him to believe that his refrigerator was, in fact, running.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Abandon Baykit

10: Abandon Baykit

Despite their successes against the Powder Blue Softies (Yup’ik), the Shikoku front on the other side of their empire against the Baby Blue Meanies (Kazakhstan) is a much more dire state of affairs. Several Horsemen flee from the inevitable flip of Baykit, as any continued defense of the city would be suicide at this point. They’ll have to try to regroup around Tura and hold the line there.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of I Beg Your Paredones?

11: I Beg Your Paredones?

Running out of options for falling back and regrouping we have the last remaining Nazca city - Paredones. With three Venezuelan ships just off shore and naught but a Composite Bow to defend it, it’s probably due time that we prime our F keys for Cahuachi. Paredones is about to be pardoned… from life.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Stealing countries with the cunning use of flags

12: Stealing countries with the cunning use of flags

The Yupik city of Qerrullik (whose name is clearly cheating at Scrabble) now behind them, Shikoku press their assault into the Bering Strait. The pointman in this operation is a lone, damaged Settler. I couldn’t say for sure what Sakamoto Ryoma is thinking with this strategy, but I can’t see the flag man alone resulting in the flip of the Yup’ik island capital. Maybe they’re just a distraction until those Horsemen learn how to walk on water?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Is there free land around here?

13: Is there free land around here?

At the northernmost tip of Venezuela’s claims in Cuba, a Uruguayan settler finds himself in a much less dangerous, but equally confusing situation. The next closest available tile is way up in the top right corner on the island of Bermuda, and I’m not sure there’s any real clear path for him to make it there any time soon.

Meanwhile, the war in the British Islands formally concludes, with the Manx and the Iroquois signing a peace agreement.

14: Oko Ohno

Shikoku’s plans to fall back and hope Kazakhstan overextend themselves are in effect in the city of Oko as well. Based on the minimap, Baykit has not fallen yet, so it will be a race between these two cities to see who is first to succumb to the overwhelming force of Borat references.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The line must be drawn here! This far, no further!

15: The line must be drawn here! This far, no further!

Here we see the state of South America, with Venezuelan forces crowded around the continent-spanning border with Uruguay. Hugo Chavez sends a carrier pigeon to Lavelleja warning him that this border is the line in the sand - don’t dare cross it or there will be a war. The Uruguayan immortal laughs at the thought and orders his troops “draw your swords and cross the line.” And on that note, let the Battle for South America commence...

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Anyway, this cake is great...

16: Anyway, this cake is great...

On the other side of the world, Nepal managed to negotiate a peace with Taungoo. All it cost them was their second largest city, Gorkha. While this does reduce them to a two-city civ, at the very least they can still take solace in the fact that they’re doing better than India, who is inexplicably still alive. Still alive. Still alive.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Press F to Pay Respects

17: Press F to Pay Respects

Very much less alive are the Nazca. With the fall of Paredones, they are reduced to nothing more than wandering units, all of which are out of range to retake the city before it burns to ash in the next turn.

The Nazca were an interesting civ, being overshadowed by their scarier, more broken neighbor of Uruguay for most of the pre-Endgame run. At first, they were a pretty boring civ, with a lot of their PR writeups finding nothing to write about except that their name kind of sounded like “Nascar.”

They proved that they were more than just a name pun in episodes 26 and 27, though, by making quick work of the Kuikuroan turtle that had thwarted and contained Uruguay for so long. They followed this up by quarrelling with the impressive naval forces of Tonga and New Zealand- at times simultaneously- and managed to amass a sizable Pacific presence. Sadly, in Endgame they were never able to recapture the same glory before they ended their journey in much the same way they were advancing in Pre-Endgame times - out in the Pacific.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Out of the frying pan, into a different, smaller frying pan

18: Out of the frying pan, into a different, smaller frying pan

Poor Nepal can’t catch a break. Parthia declares war on them almost immediately after they were free of their war against the Taungoo. Now they have another to contend with. While any war is of course not ideal for Nepal right now, at least the front line is small and mountainous. I have faith that they’re gonna pull through.

19: Stab the sea!

While the Vikings look to be repelled for now, Prussia seems to fundamentally misunderstand how a navy works. Ideally, you want to have actual naval units heading up your forces, not just embarked land units. It’s a bold strategy, let’s see if it pays off for them.

20: Now what?

A gaggle of now homeless Nazcan units stare at the empty island of Not-Paredones-Anymore, pondering what to do with themselves. They could mourn the loss of their leader, whose body will have likely been buried in the ashes of Paredones, missing his head (which was apparently a common thing in Nazca culture, according to Wikipedia).

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Scorched Earth

21: Scorched Earth

If there was any doubt before, they should be cleared away now. Baykit and Oko are now firmly under the control of the Kazakh government. Tura is sweating nervously, as those retreating Horsemen from Baykit never quite made it home, and the city is largely undefended. Jadaran is looking considerably better off.

22: At last!

Hey, that Uruguayan settler actually found Bermuda! Good job, guy. According to the in-game calendar, it only took him 40 years, too. Now he can settle down and retire.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Flags are not effective weapons

23: Flags are not effective weapons

Sadly, the Shikoku settler was not as effective in his task. There’s no sign of him/her on the battlefield, but the Yup’ik capital is in the yellow, so perhaps they were able to do some damage after all. Sakamoto has siege engines in place for bombardment, but his sole attacking Trireme is also weak. Maybe he could manage an amphibious landing with that Spearman?

24: ...

It turns out boats are better naval units than men with swords. K’berg is getting the full raid and pillage treatment by Ragnar. The Vikings want to reclaim their European holdings from before the reset, and so will need to hold on the remaining 6 population in order to establish a proper foothold.

Frederick flees to Danzig.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Missing: Soldiers

25: Missing: Soldiers

Taungoo, not sated by their piece of Nepalese cake, eye up Australia as a second dessert. Gosford is already in the yellow, and the twin cities of Cairns and Queanbeyan are almost entirely undefended. Where is the Aussie military?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Nobody look at the sidebar.

26: Nobody look at the sidebar.

Oh, here they are. They’re busy failing to take Shikoku’s Japanese city. With this amount of force in the area, it looks like they should have no problem taking it soon. They just need to hope that they don’t also get DOW’d by the Qin or anything like that, but what are the odds of that happening right now?

Pay no attention to that war declaration on the sidebar.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of We’re surrounded? Good.

27: We’re surrounded? Good.

So you know that old joke about being surrounded meaning you can attack in any direction? In this case, it’s actually true. This Australian flotilla could expand outwards whichever way they want and come across a nearly undefended Qin city. To quote General Chesty Puller, “That simplifies the problem.”

28: ...

It turns out men with swords are better land units than boats. This may go on for some time. My prediction is that Konigsberg will stay Prussian, but the city will be in pretty bad shape by the end of this fighting for Freddie’s return- probably only at 1 pop.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Flubber is Coming

29: The Flubber is Coming

Bayinnaung is fixing to turn Gosford into Goosford. The Taungoo can attack and capture the city with naval units, leaving embarked land units as the only Australian units in the area to recapture. At least for the short term, it’ll be tough for Oz to reclaim the island once it falls, as that amphibious modifier is a real killer this early in the game’s tech tree.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Spend your money!

30: Spend your money!

Are any other human players annoyed by how much gold the AI routinely hordes? It’s not doing you any good in your treasury, guys. Spend it!

For what it’s worth, Iroquois and Zimbabwe are top dogs in the dragon hoard challenge at roughly the same wealth, with a sizeable gap between them and the rest of the pacl.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Island Hopping like a Kangaroo

31: Island Hopping like a Kangaroo

Somehow Gosford is still holding on, and Operation: Attack-In-Any-Direction was a rousing success. Langzhong will be an empty island in 1 turn, making it one less thing to worry about for Bob Hawke. This war actually isn’t going all that bad yet.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Spoke too soon

32: Spoke too soon

Up, nevermind. Gosford just went brown. It’s like the avocado in the bowl when you make guacamole- Perfectly green and ripe one minute, then you turn your back on it for 5 seconds to chop up a jalapeno and it all turns brown. Cairns and the Queen Bee city are looking to follow suit, which is going to absolutely ruin the aesthetic of my tacos.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Forgie’s Law in Action

33: Forgie’s Law in Action

There’s an old adage in Civ Battle Royale history that the more hype a war is, the more likely it is to be a stagnant bore. This Rumble in the Jungle is proving that to be true. While the balance of power may have shifted to Uruguay, no cities are yet damaged, and there have been no changes to the borders from citadels. The front line pushed a tile or two north, but that’s it - there are barely even pillaged tiles.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Trading Cities

34: Trading Cities

Oko is now back in Shikoku’s hands. The forces that were diverted south to recapture it should have maybe instead gone to Tura, where the situation is bleak. Oko’s location is overall less defensible from the Kazakhs than Tura’s is, so you have to question Sakamoto’s tactics.

Also, check out the sidebar. Civs are ganging up on Venice, and a capital falls. Is it India? Nope, it’s Konigsberg again.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Pretty sneaky, Dandolo

35: Pretty sneaky, Dandolo

Here we see the first blood in the Moorish war against the Blind Doge. If you look closely at this slide, and adjust your tinfoil hat to fit just right, you can see the casus belli for the war. Look carefully at Venice’s army compared to the size of their territory. Notice how Venice has a military unit on all but one of their tiles? Clearly they were trying to gunk up the game with teleporting peacekeepers again. I applaud the Moors and the Malagasy for doing their part to prevent another crash.

Note: Those Venetian Caravels aren’t actually Caravels, it’s a graphical bug. Those are actually Venice’s second naval UU, which is a Carrack replacement.

(Blue Cassette, I’m basing that note on Episode 9, Scene 68, and this comment chain by Admiral_Cloudberg. If it turns out my assumptions were wrong, please omit the note. Thank you.)

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Outback. No Rules.

36: Outback. No Rules.

There is a sudden outbreak of Barbarism in Australia. Is it an unhappy citizen, or is it a Taungoo sleeper agent? Either way, he’s about to be cut down.

Elsewhere on the Cylinder, the Goths sign peace with Venice, because they apparently want the game to crash again. Else-elsewhere, a capital city flips but the minimap isn’t helping in trying to figure out which one it was. I’m sure we’ll see a scene for it if it’s anything important.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Brownening

37: The Brownening

Before I mention the war in this slide, I just want to point out that poor, lost Yup’ik Trireme. That guy is a long way from home, and very badly injured. They’re in for some pretty rough times.

Anyways, Queanbeyan falls, and Cairns is soon to follow. Gosford doesn’t look like it’ll flip back to Australian control based on what we see on this slide. This theatre looks grim for Ol’ Hawke, so let’s check out another one

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Greenening

38: The Greenening

Much better. The ocean is sparse all around, and the Qin expansion in this area is getting purged with fire and resettled with nice, easier-to-pronounce Australian city names, perhaps as a mercy to Dawkinzz.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of No Oko No Longer

39: No Oko No Longer

Having had enough of the city trading game, Ablai Khan burns down Oko. They have a settler making their way into the gap, too, so I guess Kazakhstan are Anti-Dawkinzz, trying to replace the easy city names like Oko with something more difficult. Let’s see what we end up with. Tura, as predicted, turns baby blue.

Looking at the sidebar - Is that another capital flip? We didn’t get a ‘reclaimed’ icon, so I don’t think it was a back-and-forth.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Fire Amid the Ice

40: Fire Amid the Ice

Definitely not a back-and-forth. The Yup’ik capital of Niugtaq has fallen to Shikoku in the culmination of the work that Flag Guy started. The icy snipers are down to two cities, but the silver samurai seem to have run out of steam to push the advance further.

Meanwhile, Konigsberg is back in Prussian control (see: sidebar and minimap).

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Koalas are Kawaii~~

41: Koalas are Kawaii~~

The days of Australian Japan are numbered, as an enormous force of Qin troops descends on the city of Geelong. Predictably, any Australian offense against Yawatahama has either been diverted to Geelong for defense, or destroyed, so Shikoku is going to end up with the last laugh in Japan.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Cairns in Chains

42: Cairns in Chains

Cairns falls to the ‘Goo. On the plus side the Bordergore is getting cleaned up in these islands. The brave Yup’ik Trireme is still here, still not dead, but still very stuck. Poor guy probably has no idea that most of his homeland was conquered. Good news, though, if/when he gets home, it will be to a nation at peace, as Sakamoto agrees to terms with Apanuugpak.

43: Redland?

Wow, Greenland got busier since we last saw it. Now that the Vikings have a city of their own, and the Manx are trying to conquer some, I guess the Greenland that Admiral Cloudberg dubbed “Blueland” last episode is slowly transitioning to “Redland.”

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Watashi wa Trireme

44: Watashi wa Trireme

That Yup’ik Trireme will need to brush up on his Japanese if s/he ever makes it home - it looks like Sakamoto took with the pen what he couldn’t with a sword. The city of Sirenik is now under Shikoku control, making it officially the first time in CBR history that an Asian civ crossed the Pacific to hold territory in mainland North America.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Speaking of North America...

45: Speaking of North America...

Echoing their counterparts in South America, the Iroquois declare war on the Metis, setting the stage for what could be an epic showdown to settle the continent once and for all, but will more likely be a few border skirmishes and a white peace. Not much seems to have happened yet, but it’s still the first turn of the war, and Metis’ moves are currently being processed. At a glance, the city of Wood Mountain looks vulnerable, and maybe Cut Knife after that. Iroquois units have started to pour into Metis lands, but just beyond Saint Laurent de Grandin there is a lot of backup.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Scandal of the Skide

46: Scandal of the Skide

The Metis are two-fronting this war. They’d do well to clean up things over here in the Pacific to help them free resources for their new fight on the East Coast. The scandalous city of Skidegate may flip soon, and Haida’s navy is looking very terrestrial right now - mostly embarked land units. Flipping it back could be problematic.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The dogpiled becomes the dogpiler

47: The dogpiled becomes the dogpiler

Based on the sidebar notifications, Konigsberg flipped to the Vikings, then flipped back again. That quick recapture clearly gave Prussia the confidence in their army that they needed to join the “let’s not let Venice crash the game again” brigade. Of course, the Moors did a good job thinning the herd, so that risk is pretty much gone now, but it’s the thought that counts.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Really Big Bonfire

48: A Really Big Bonfire

Nothing burns quite like a mountain made entirely of wood. Meanwhile, Saint Laurent de Grandin is… empty. No invaders or defenders.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Back and Forth and Back Again

49: Back and Forth and Back Again

K’berg continues to swap back and forth between Duck Season and Rabbit Season as Haida’s Skidegate falls to a Metis Knight and finds itself slighly more on fire than it used to be. I fear that the Metis have been too hasty in relocating their troops from this front over to the east- if Koyah is able to take back Skidegate, there’s not much army left for Louis Riel to recapture it with.

50: City Burn

With their last conquest completely extinguished, Hiawatha’s forces find one last bag of marshmallows that they weren’t able to toast while the bonfire of Wood Mountain was still raging. They set their sights on Cut Knife and decide that while not as flammable as a mountain of wood, a pile of knives will probably get the job done just as well.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Omae wa mou shinde iru.

51: Omae wa mou shinde iru.

And just like that, Australia has been kicked out of Japan. Only damaged Australian forces are left, so there’s no chance of recapture. Even if they did, Qin would just grab it right back quicker than you could say “NANI!?”

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Sinking City

52: The Sinking City

Venice is in a pretty tough place right now - not only are they about to be captured and eliminated, but the Moors have brought a Great Prophet with them to knock out Venice’s religion. They can counter-prophet for what it’s worth, and they also look like they’re trying to send out a settler. I guess they didn’t get the memo that Bermuda was already taken

53: S’mores time!

The Iroquois assert dominance in Hudson Bay by burning the city of Cut Knife. It seems that no silly named cities are safe, and no marshmallows shall go untoasted.

Oh, and the former location of Wood Mountain is officially terra nullius - somebody tell Venice, quick.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Jungles make war slow

54: Jungles make war slow

It has been 15 turns since this war was declared, and there is still no city damage or significant change in the front lines. Venezuela is starting to repel the invaders, but they’ve still got a bit more work to do before they can claim victory.

The sound of Konigsberg flipflopping can be heard echoing in the distance.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Meet the new Oko. Same as the old Oko.

55: Meet the new Oko. Same as the old Oko.

From the ashes of Oko comes Karamergen. Not that bad, but I’ll let Dawkinzz decide which is the more fun name to say. I guess technically it moved slightly northwest, too, which will work in Kazakhstan's favor as now they can use their mountain adjacency to build an Observatory in it.

Meanwhile, Shikoku settles a new Oko in a highly defensible location within visibility of the front line. According to rumor, the monument erected in the middle of the Town Square is in the shape of a giant middle finger, facing the Kazakh capital.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of With apologies to anybody who tries to sing along

56: With apologies to anybody who tries to sing along

So here we are again- It’s always such a pleasure. Remember when everyone tried to kill India twice? Oh, how Nepal laughed and laughed. Indira wasn’t laughing. Under the circumstances, she’s been shockingly alive.

Whoever wants Hyderabad - take it. That’s what we’re counting on. I used to want her nukes, but now I only want her gone.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Hold up, rewind that last scene...

57: Hold up, rewind that last scene...

Now that the Portal 2 song joke is out of the way, a lot of stuff happened on the sidebar last scene, and is still happening in this one. The focus of this scene, though, is Gosford, which may not be as permanently brown as I had previously assumed. Those Aussie ships are all ranged, so they need to keep that Swordsman alive.

Now that sidebar - We have not one but two joint war declarations. Australia and the Goths decide that Ragnarok is long overdue, while The Iroquois and Yup’ik smell Haidan blood in the water. A look at the minimap shows that Skidegate was eventually reduced to burning rubble, leaving poor Koyah with only two cities. In other words - Yup’ik snipe get hype!

Meanwhile, Australia and Shikoku call it quits now that their front in Japan is no longer present, and Parthia decides to spare India, possibly in hopes that it’ll somehow lead to the release of Portal 3.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of I still give them a 5% chance

58: I still give them a 5% chance

Aw, man. I knew it was a longshot for the Yup’ik snipe, but seeing the battlefield in detail makes it an even longer longshot, and I’m not sure the rifle scopes exist at this point in the cylinder's history for that level of marksmanship. Counting a Scout, The Yup’ik have 6 military units total. If it weren’t for that pesky Metis, they might even run the risk of being conquered by Haida.

Indeed, this war seems more than anything to be a case of Iroquois and Yup’ik both trying their hardest to get in Metis’ good graces with that “common enemy'' diplomatic bonus, which is a tall order for the Iroquois, who are currently burning Metis cities.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Cutting off Potsdam to Spite your Face

59: Cutting off Potsdam to Spite your Face

“I don’t have to worry about the new war,” thought Ragnar. “Australia is way on the other side of the Cylinder, and I don’t share a border with the Goths. Prussia will make a nice buffer between us while we continue to flip Konigsberg over and over again.” You can imagine the look on his face when one of his diplomats let him know about the peace treaty, ceding Potsdam and thus a new front line against his new enemy..

Frederick laughed about it all the way to his summer home in Danzig, waving at the Gothic army on the side of the road. “How long do you think they’ll be able to hold it?” he thought to himself with a smug grin.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Ye Gothic Horde Cometh

60: Ye Gothic Horde Cometh

...And Frederick barely made it down the road when we saw the smoke start to rise from the city, as the clop clop of Horseman hooves beat the road.

This treaty, of course, leaves Prussia with two less cities, one of which was their capital. It’s not a good position to be in, but maybe they’ll be able to eek something out of their campaign in Venice? The Moorish army seemed to stall out, so maybe Prussia can pick up the slack.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A War of Indifference

61: A War of Indifference

Save for one Knight, one Swordsman, and one Trireme, the invading Uruguayan force has been expelled from Venezuela. Watch out for that Swordsman, though, as depending on the AI turn orders, they could make a cheeky stab at Barquisimeto. It would immediately revert back, but would give enough time for Lavalleja to take a few propaganda photos of the Indifferent Sun flag flying over the city.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Haida’s capital city is a fun name to say

62: Haida’s capital city is a fun name to say

Metis forces make their way over the mountains and start bashing their swords and horses against the walls of Kung. Koyah’s generals, meanwhile, have more important priorities to tend to than defense of the nation. One is in Ninstints at this instance, insisting that the nits in the inns are in tins. Another is slowly absorbing radiation from the ground and is trying really hard not to drop a citadel even though it would, like, totally fit so perfect in this spot, guys. Seriously, look at it.

Hiawatha’s crazy diplomacy plan seems to have actually worked, by the way. The Metis have decided that fighting alongside the Iroquois is better than fighting against them, and make peace.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Black and White and Red All Over

63: Black and White and Red All Over

The Gothic surge into the newly Viking lands is starting to get countered in earnest, now, with a fair amount of Swordsmen, Berserkers, and Catapults making their presence known. The fall of Potsdam is no longer the sure thing it looked to be a few scenes ago. If you listen carefully in the background, you can hear Frederick muttering profanity under his breath.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Revolving Door of Enemies

64: Revolving Door of Enemies

Yep, everything's coming up Ragnar! After settling peace with Palmyra (and without having to give them a city), the Vikings are now dealing with one less enemy. Of course, this violates the law of equivalent exchange, and so the universe must compensate to balance out the load. The Sami declare war, and are laying down damage on the capital city of Nidaros. Ragnar is going to need to depend on those mountain chokepoints to slow down the land army, as Eadni has a clear advantage on the ground. On the water, I’d give the advantage to Ragnar, as long as he moves that fleet on the bottom of the scene up to help defend.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Not Long for this World

65: Not Long for this World

The Yup’ik are now up to 10 military units, almost doubling their army from a few turns ago. They appear to also be having an honest go at sniping Kung - good for you, Yu’pik, you go, Yup’ik!

Meanwhile, most of Haida’s forces seemed to have evaporated. They’re only got 13 military units visible right now, and that’s counting the War Canoe off on holiday on the bottom left of the screen.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of From Whence They Came

66: From Whence They Came

The Taungoo war reaches the shores of the home continent as Flubber begins to bash against the beaches of Brisbane. Aside from the small pocket of Nenets that we can see to the west of Uluru, Australia have had this entire landmass to themselves for all of Endgame, so far. I, for one, am excited to see that authority be challenged, and hope to see some good fights come out of this. For now, a flip looks unlikely, but the momentum in this theatre has been leaning Goo-ward for some time. Taking out Hobart would make things a lot easier for the Boys in Brown if they can afford to do without taking too many losses.

Yup’ik Trireme is still there, by the way.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Well, It’s been nice knowing you, Shikoku

67: Well, It’s been nice knowing you, Shikoku

Shikoku just cannot catch a break. They failed to reclaim Tura, and now stand to lose Jadaran as well, after a few painfully aggressive citadels robbed them of valuable space to maneuver. All of those wonderful early Endgame gains are now moot, and Kazakh Knights overpower whatever forces Sakamoto can muster. It looks like Karen is going to lose the kids.

Glancing at the sidebar makes this bad situation even worse, as two new enemies are joining the fray - The Metis, having just concluded their war with the Haida, and their old nemesis the Qin. In Qin adjacent lands, Shikoku forces seem to be the larger army, but the old ghosts of that pre-Endgame reckoning must be haunting Shikoku fans still.

68: Kung Pow’d

The Haida have now joined India, Yup’ik and Venice in the One City Club. Rubbing salt in the wounds, The mighty Metis have decided to burn Kung, along with all 823,000 inside. They don’t seem to be in a rush to keep pushing onwards to take the Shikoku city out in the Aleutians, and even if they were, Haidan forces are blocking the path. Maybe Yup’ik can thin out the peacekeepers a bit?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Dammit, Forgie!

69: Dammit, Forgie!

From Cahuachi in the west to Las Piedras in the east, a great Sandy Curtain has descended upon this continent. That line in the sand that Uruguay decided to cross 24 turns and 240 in-game years ago when Nazca couldn’t sate their hunger ultimately remained uncrossed, as a peace accord is struck in South America. Now the real stalemate begins.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Containment Breached

70: Containment Breached

Back in Eastern Europe, the Viking-Goth war is proceeding as expected, but take a look at the bottom half of the scene. Madagascar, against all odds, managed to actually bring troops to bear in their war against Venice. How great would it be if they pulled off a snipe? They’d need more than just that single Voromahery (Pikeman replacement) to do it, though, as Venice is completely undamaged.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of This is the Second to Last Scene

71: This is the Second to Last Scene

In tonight’s penultimate scene, India just refuses to die. That’s all there is to say, here. She’s tenacious. There will be no double-elimination tonight.

Lime’s Note: Hyderabad has been continuously damaged since Turn 143, 52 turns ago. When will it end?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of This is the Last Scene

72: This is the Last Scene

We end this episode with one last parting scene of the battle raging in Hokkaido. Shikoku are putting pressure on the city of Wanxian, and could potentially start to actually expand back into their ancestral homelands in Japan. Only time, and future episodes, can tell for sure. So be sure to tune in again next week, same-ish bat time, same bat-website.

I hope y’all enjoyed this episode, as I had a great time putting together the narration. Stay safe, stay sane, and we’ll see you next week, on another very special episode of CBRX.