Episode 45: Greatest Country In The World – S1

Welcome to this week’s episode of the CBRX! I’m /u/arcticwolffox, this week’s narrator. I’ve been following the CBR since early MK2 and I’m proud to present to you this week’s part, full of old wars and new wars alike.

This week’s OC, some truly inspirational work by /u/Aunt_Lavinia

/u/vihreaa was once again quick to release his hand-drawn map of the previous part.

Here we can see /u/edse1991’s tile accurate map of the last part. One thing that stands out, looking at the results of the previous parts, is the determination of the Moors and Zimbabwe to settle even the most remote places in the world.

♫Kazakhstan, greatest country in the world…♫

You guys know the drill by now.

We start this part with a view of the gorgeous pacific, specifically a patchwork of islands belonging to Australia, Venezuela and Uruguay. Whyalla is on the verge of falling back to the Aussies, but the lone melee unit and embarked knight may not be enough to flip it. A few lost Nazca units look on, lamenting their lost island empire from before the Endgame.

We return to Europe, where Abd-al-Rahman, having taken all he could from Prussia, stabs his erstwhile ally in the back and declares war on the Manx. Both civs have packed carpets, but the Moors are slightly ahead in tech and they have another batch of cities near Iceland from which they can invade the Manx. Iliam Dhone better watch out that he’s not Iliam Done by part 50.

Meanwhile, Parthia declares war on the Vikings, as if the latter didn’t already have enough problems after the last part.

The Nordic cluster of Moorish cities doesn’t seem to be as durable as I expected. Al-Gazirah is sure to fall to the Galleon waiting up north, and the numbers are also in favor of the Manx near the Faroes.

Frustrated at having been unable to retake Berlin, Frederick declares war on the rumpified Vikings instead. His old capital Königsberg is ripe for the taking, though hopefully for Fred the Goths won’t beat him to the punch. Ragnar’s baltic navy seems strong enough to stop his foes from taking Hedeby, meaning at least he won’t get exiled to Greenland just yet.

Saraqustah in Ireland is about to fall to the Manx, while Onchan in Cornwall is about to fall to the Moors. In general though, the Moors seem to have a slight numerical advantage at sea. On land the numbers are more similar, but the Moors are clearly ahead in tech.

The Sami also join in on the gangbang against the Manx, while Prussia peaces out with Palmyra to focus solely on the Vikings.

The Manx take Al-Gazirah from the Moors, but on the long run things are looking quite grim. The Manx navy in the North Sea is almost exhausted, and they now have to contend with the decently-sized Sami navy as well.

Onchan has been flipped by the Moors. Right now neither side seems to have enough units dedicated to this front to decisively beat the other.

Venezuela sends a few ships to attack Townsville, but the city seems secure for the time being. Up north, Australia sends a fleet to capture the 1-pop Marianas from the Qin, which is meeting with some early success.

On the side, we can see the Manx have decided to peace out with Prussia, which seems like a wise decision for both.

The Moors retake al-Qazirah. Now that the Moorish navy is largely spent, the outcome of this front will depend on how much the Sami decide to commit. Both sides anxiously await the result of the ominous turn processor below.

The Manx take Saraqustah, but the Moors have flipped Onchan once again. Time will tell if the superior numbers of the Manx or the better tech of the Moors will win out here.

In the west, I count no less than eight Iroqouis great prophets making their way towards Muslim Europe. Will the Ummah be able to survive such a storm of religious fervor?

Despite their valiant effort throughout the Endgame, the situation looks nasty here for Nubia. Aside from their humongous production advantage, Zimbabwe is also clearly ahead in tech. For the time however, both sides seem to have similar numbers of troops committed and the terrain is in Nubia’s favor.

On the side, Zimbabwe builds the Leaning Tower of Pisa, which provides +25% generation of Great People in all Cities and a free great person in the capital, as if they didn’t have a big enough advantage already.

Königsberg is going down, and unfortunately for Frederick the Goths seem more likely to end up with the prize. However, the brave embarked Prussian pikeman next to the city could make the difference here. From Hedeby, Ragnar looks on in dismay as the last pieces of his empire are falling apart.

Australia has razed Langzhong to the ground, and the rest of the Marianas is not far behind. However, things seem to be more evenly matched in the Philippines, and a large Qin relief force is coming from the north to turn the tide. On the sidebar, we can see that Shikoku has made peace with Taungoo, ending a largely symbolic war.

The Moors win a clear victory on land, taking Stettin from the Manx and driving them back to the North Sea coast. On sea things are largely even, as they flip Saraqustah once again and take Onchan seemingly for good, as there is no Manx relief force in sight.

On the sidebar, the Goths peace out with the Vikings without taking Königsberg in a typical display of Gothic ingenuity. Frederick must be besides himself with joy as he orders a full assault on his old capital. The Iroqouis and Haida also make peace.

Having watched the continued growth of the Sami with suspicion, two of the game’s top dogs declare war on the Eadni, starting the Grandma Containment Project (GCP). The Kazakh declaration is more relevant right now. Unfortunately for Ablai Khan, he forgot to bring his army and his formidable navy will be largely useless in the Barents Sea, where most cities only border a few water tiles.

Fortunately for Iliam Dhone, the Sami keep their navy on the sidelines, allowing him to scoop up the remaining Moor cities around Iceland with relative ease.

Not content with sending prophets to Europe, Hiawatha now has a clear shot at taking a good chunk of Greenland from the Sami, having already dominated Greenland before the endgame. Unjarga has already taken damage from… Well, something, possibly an embarked Iroqouis unit that is no longer with us.

A host of new wars are declared on the sidebar. Most of them are largely irrelevant, though Uruguay could give Australia quite a bit of trouble. The Haida also once again declare war on their fellow rump state the Yup’ik, after having tried and failed to take their last city in the previous part. Second time’s the charm?

Australia now faces a three front war with the Qin, Uruguay and Venezuela, a significant challenge ever for a civ that has dominated every BR so far. Broome seems poised to fall to Venezuela, though it might well be relieved by the Aussies later. Fortunately for them, Uruguay does not seem to have a lot of units committed to the Pacific right now.

Nyatsimba Mutota is a brave man to defy the Aussies like this, and his unwalled 1-tile city seems sure to fall if Australia so much as sneezes on it. Evacuation would be a good idea right now.

Despite the growing opposition elsewhere, the Aussies are making good progress in the Philippines, taking Puyang without having to sack it and bringing Yangdi down as well. However, looking to the right their fleet in the Marianas seems to have evaporated.

The Sami juggernaut finally strikes in the North Sea, leaving the Manx scrambling for backup that is already desperately needed on the other fronts. On the right, Königsberg still stands strong against the Prussians.

Venezuela takes Broome and sends another force from the north to take Ballarat, even including embarked units which are of little use in this vast open ocean. A reserve Venezuelan fleet lies in the northeast, waiting for the right moment to strike. Australia is doing fine for the moment, but it might be good to seek peace with either Venezuela or the Qin if things go on like this.

Australia does exactly that, either ceding Putang in the new peace treaty or letting it be retaken by the Qin. With the new Qin settler below Yique, the situation returns to the exact status quo before the war. This is a blow for Australia, but things are looking up now that they are free to focus fully on the two American threats. The Uruguayans are already set to flip Mount Gambier, though it would be a miracle if they were able to hold it.

Australia predictably takes Mapela and burns it to the ground to prove their point. A Zimbabwean privateer appears on the horizon, perhaps trying to take back their colony against all odds.

Fortunately for Ablai Khan, he is able to conjure a large army out of nowhere (or which was just hiding south of the previous slide) and lays siege to Romsa. If he plays his cards right this war, he could even end up with a Snaase as a port on the Baltic coast.

On the sidebar, Venezuela makes peace with the Nazca, a cold comfort for the latter now that they are dead.

The Moors retake Saraqustah and bring Peel into the red as Britain lies exposed. Most of the Manx navy seems to have evaporated, although their land army will still be able to flip back cities for a while. In Ireland, the first Iroqouis prophet has landed. Could their turtle religion bring some comfort to the war-struck Irishmen?

On the sidebar, the Goths end two wars that they probably forgot they were still fighting.

The Sami and the Manx make peace, providing some much-needed relief for Iliam Dhone at the cost of the city of Walbah. The last two Moorish cities in the north seem primed to fall now.

Uruguay does indeed take Mount Gambier and finds itself immediately besieged by Australian ships. The Venezuelans found the new city of Puerto la Cruz nearby, further adding to the bordergore of the Pacific. The Qin also found Yiqu at the spot where Lanzhong once stood.

While they march on the Sami, the Kazakhs are still at war with the Qin and seem to be doing quite well on the surface of it. However, the front will be much easier to reinforce from the Qin side, as it is right next to their core and they now have their hands free after the peace with Australia.

The Moors take Peel and finally bring a land army to the British Isles, making sure to take plenty of siege units. A full conquest of both islands is not out of the question, although knowing the AI a peace treaty halfway might be more likely. On the plus side for the Manx, they manage to retake Saraqustah, and on the continent the two armies seem to be more evenly matched.

Heil dir im Siegerkranz! The Prussians finally retake their old capital of Königsberg from the Vikings and continue to reinforce it with melee units. While still a rump state, at least they can die with dignity now. On the sidebar, Australia makes peace with Venezuela.

The Kazakhs continue to besiege Romsa, with little progress so far. Their own city of Chirik-Rabat is also in quite a bit of trouble. On the other side of Asia however, they manage to take the old Khamug capital of Jadaran from the Qin.

The Iroquois take Unjarga from the Sami and look ready to take the other Sami city as well (don’t worry Dawkinzz you don’t have to pronounce it). Meanwhile, the Manx continue to attack the Icelandic Moor cities but seem to be suffering from a shortage of melee units.

Joke’s on me, the Zimbabweans actually send two fairly large fleets to attack the Aussies from the west. Moreover, they are already wielding frigates while Australia is still stuck with galleasses. Australia’s saving grace may be that Newcastle is only connected to two water tiles, which will make it difficult for the largely melee-based Zimbabwean fleet to make progress.

The Kazakhs are making significant headway into the heartland of the Qin, bringing Shanwu into the yellow and sending another large force to take Didao. The Qin carpet that was present on some of the previous slides is nowhere to be seen.

One gets the sense that the war with Australia forced the Qin to spend all of their production on naval units, many of which now lie unused in the Sea of Japan while a huge Kazakh army marches on their core.

An Uruguayan crack squadron takes Kalgoorlie from the Aussies. A great victory, but since Australia is now free to focus its full attention on the eastern front it’s doubtful whether they will hold on to this city for long.

Visible in New Zealand are the cities Bunbury and Alice Springs, which before the Endgame were placed on the Australian mainland and went through a series of long and painful flips. For the people in these cities, this truly is the best timeline.

The Sami take Chirit-Rabat from the Kazakhs and decide not to burn it, which implies that their happiness problems are over now. They shouldn’t celebrate too soon though, as Romba is now in the red, and surrounded by a great Kazakh horde. Snaase is still ripe for the taking too.

The Kazakhs take both Romba and Chirik-Rabat, taking Snaase down the red as well. For the record, the Kazakh unique units besieging the latter city are melee horseman replacements, and thus the city is in imminent danger of falling the next turn.

Taungoo attacks Australia! Forget all my rambling about the Aussies having it easy now, between this and the simultaneous invasion from Zimbabwe and Uruguay, Australia will once again have to give its utmost to defend the frontiers. Taungoo seems to have the numbers advantage for the moment, but as any follower of the BR knows one should never underestimate Australia’s ability to pump out more ships.

The Zimbabweans take Newcastle and are starting to attack Brisbane as well. The Zimbabweans really are pulling out all the stops, even taking embarked swordsmen and trebuchets presumably all the way from Africa. Although they came too late to save Mapela from being razed, this is a significant threat for Australia that might well force them to once again share the continent with other civs, unless they step up now and drive the invaders back into the sea.

The Kazakhs take Snaase, and their conquests seem to be secure for now despite a Sami counterattack near Romsa and Chirik-Rabat.

A large Aussie fleet takes Barros Blancos and burns it to the ground to prove their point. Venezuela looks on smugly, content with the knowledge at having peaced out at just the right time. Here in the northeast Uruguay no longer seems to be a significant threat, and so these ships will probably be sent to the west to deal with Zimbabwe and the Goo.

Pliny finishes his list of the richest people in the world, with the Iroquois coming out on top. Few of these are really surprising, all of them are top contenders on the cylinder although some of them would do well to spend their money on units or science buildings.

The Moors flip Ramsey, but the war between the Manx and Moors seems to have stalled right now. Peel was also flipped at least once, and the Moors’ melee army on British soil has disappeared. Will this stalemate be enough to force a peace?

Meanwhile in the east, the Vikings retake Königsberg. Frederick has enough troops to retake it, but with their navy it’s possible that the Vikings will be able to negotiate an advantageous peace.

An elusive Uruguayan navy takes both Albury-Wodonga and Alice Springs, despite only one Uruguayan ship being clearly visible in the frame. How do they do it? Is Uruguay fielding paratroopers with a hundred movement points per turn?

Australia is not having a good one this part, and what makes it worse for them is that they have no melee ships in sight to retake their cities, forcing them to rely on embarked units.

The Goo take Queanbeyan, possibly the most Australian-sounding city in their city list. However, things are not looking so bad for the Aussies here, with a large fleet waiting near Darwin and the Zimbabwean attack on Brisbane having stalled right now. Looking at the minimap, Newcastle has been retaken from Zimbabwe as well.

Shanwu and Yongcheng are on the edge of falling to the Kazakhs, but the Qin once again have a large army nearby and could well relieve at least some of these cities.

One the sidebar, Haida and the Yup’ik end another pointless war and Hiawatha constructs Versailles, which extends the length of we-love-the-king day by 50% empire-wide.

The Uruguayan ghost fleet strikes again, taking both Rockhampton and Coffs Harbor even as the Aussies take back Albury-Wodonga. Launceston too is at the brink of falling, and Zimbabwe takes back Newcastle on the other side of the continent as well.

The Uruguayans are running circles around Australia, and even though these small melee-only squadrons shouldn’t be such a problem by themselves, the combination with the invasion from Zimbabwe and Taungoo might well be fatal for Bob Hawke.

As was already visible on the last slide, the Goths peace out with Benin. What we didn’t get to see is that they pulled another classic Goth move and gave Gothiscandza away to a civ that could never have taken it by force. “They’ll never seize it if we just give it to them”, says Alaric, smiling and pointing his finger at one of his temples.

Meanwhile, Zimbabwe constructs Kronborg, which gives +25 HP in all coastal cities and +50% production for naval units in the city where it is built.

The Vikings do indeed manage to broker a peace with Prussia, leaving them the greater of the two rump states for now. Looking at the state of the city though it is doubtful how much they will benefit from it in the future. They peace out with Parthia as well.

To the west, the Moors have taken Ramsey again and are now marching on Burano, putting a full conquest of the continental Manx cities within reach.

The Taungoo take Hobart and it looks securely in their grip for the time being, striking yet another blow at the Aussies.

The Kazakhs take Shanwu, Yongcheng and even the Qin capital of XIanyang. Even if the Kazakhs peace out with just these gains, it will have been an excellent war for them. As it stands, it looks as though this struggle might continue for a while.

The Goo take Kathmandu, reducing Nepal to a city state. They have enough troops nearby to retake it, but on the long run the disparity in tech and production doesn’t bode well for Prithvi. Then again, he already came back from the brink once. Let’s not count him out too soon

Indeed, according to the minimap Nepal has retaken Kathmandu for now. Australia retakes almost all of their lost cities from Uruguay. The latter’s navy looks to be worse for wear, but new melee reinforcements are coming in from the east.

Venezuela is fielding a huge and technologically advanced navy in their core, which looks very solid. It will have to, since they are surrounded on every side by other incredibly strong civs. Chavez has just constructed the Globe Theatre, which should help to entertain his massive army which currently has nothing to do.

The Iroquois retake the unnameable city and set it on fire, judging rightly that such an incomprehensible thing beyond human understanding should be deleted from history, as the Selk’nam were.

Hiawatha also builds the Porcelain Tower, which gives him a free Great Scientist and +50% science from research agreements. For a civ surrounded by strong opponents, an edge in science might come in very useful in the future.

Content with having removed the unspeakable abomination from existence, the Iroqouis peace out with the Sami. The Manx meanwhile retake Peel, but the Moorish dominance in the English Channel means it can flip back at any time. The war here is still in a stalemate, but the Moorish superiority in tech means that a significant push by them could still turn the tide.

Now free to focus fully on the Kazakhs, the Sami retake Snaase but scramble to defend Gaivuotna from the endless hordes. The Kazakhs are now on the verge of having a continuous line of territory stretching all the way from the Baltic to the Yellow Sea, just like the Mongols had in real life. Venezuela meanwhile builds the Topkapi palace, which gives +1 faith yield to all military buildings.

The Kazakhs take Handan and Julu and lay siege to Jiangzhou, putting the dream of a coast-to-coast empire within reach. The Qin are now looking to lose the entire southern half of their mainland cities.

Meanwhile in Europe, the Sami and Manx both declare war on the Vikings, as if either didn’t already have their hands full at the moment.

The Vikings, now reduced to a single tile on their old homeland of Scandinavia, seem resigned to a quiet end. Königsberg is already taking damage as well.

The Goths join in on the anti-Viking coalition too, and they may well walk away from this with Königsberg. Meanwhile, Kazakhstan takes Gaivuotna and retakes Snaase. Now would be a good time for Eadni to offer some peace terms.

The Sami retake Snaase but don’t manage to retake Gaivuotna, while the Goths do indeed take Königsberg. This leaves Ragnar with only Hedeby and an isolated city in the north of Greenland. For what it’s worth, the Vikings are able to make peace with Madagascar.

The Kazakhs take Jiangzhou, fulfilling their dream of a coast-to-coast empire (Snaase has fallen again according to the minimap). Anyi in the south is also in Kazakh hands now.

Taungoo takes Gosford and starts laying siege to Bundaberg, home of the secretive Bundaberg Group. Looking south, the Zimbabweans have sent a new fleet to take Brisbane and are still holding on to two cities in Western Australia, one of which is a new city called “Wagga Wagga” at the very peak of the continent where Mapela used to be.

The Vikings continue to bomb Königsberg, but will never retake it due to their lack of melee units. Hedeby is now on the verge of falling, with an embarked Sami swordsman going in for the kill. One the eastern front though, things are not going well for the Sami, as the Kazakhs bring Leavdnja into the yellow.

The Kazakhs look absolutely unstoppable, taking Nakamura, and Toso-Shimizu while also taking back Jiangzhou after a brief Qin recapture. It looks like the Qin are about to be driven into the sea, as most of their continental army has melted away. Will we see the Qin become a Japanese civ just like Shikoku became a North Asian one?

The Qin sign a humiliating peace with the Kazakhs, giving away all of their mainland cities except for Yunzhong in South Korea and Yueyang between Hong Kong and Macau. They even lose the western half of Hokkaido and, looking at the minimap, one of the Philippine islands. Ying Zheng wonders how it could have come to this as he drinks another mercury concoction, staring wistfully across the Sea of Japan from his new capital at Geelong.

That’s it for this week of the CBR! This is your narrator /u/arcticwolffox signing out. I’m glad to have had the opportunity to present this part to you and doubly so because it was one where Australia took a beating. Have a great week!