Episode 47: Knock-out rounds – S1

Welcome everyone to again the 47th CBRX, this time narrated by not one but two narrators. We are TinyTim and TheHandofFate

Tinytim: I have been following the battle royale since it’s Mark one days, back before the subreddit was created and have mostly been lurking since. So you could say I’m quite the old geezer.

Fate: And only discovered it during the big mk2 hiatus, but have been following it ever since. TinyTim and me are housemates, so we thought it to be nice to do this narration together.

Fate: For the intro OC we have this piece of art, it never ceases to amaze me how many talented artists we have on the sub

Fate: As our first map we have the current state of the cylinder, projected on the old pre-E cylinder. Showing how absolutely humongous the Kazaks are, and how border gored Europe is, again.

TinyTim: tile accurate map, keep it handy, though it might change

Fate: And here we see the absolute and definitive number one of this game, the Kazaks. Their huge land empire seems uncontestable so I don’t see this changing soon

Fate: Let’s get into it. We immediately see the result of the peace treaty between Uruguay and Venezuela.

TinyTim: As you can see they had to give up almost all their cities, except for their capital and if you squint at the mini-map some small islands in the pacific.

Fate: Oof, that got to hurt, they are definitely out the running now. I haven’t seen uruguay take a bite out of something this bad since Suarez

TinyTim: The zimbabwean fleet continues it’s brutal pillaging of the subcontinent

Fate: But Maratha seems to have enough (outdated) land units to keep this fight up for a few turns

TinyTim: I wouldn’t bet on it though

Fate: Oh my. Our boys in yellow go for a daring move. They declare on both the Goths and Sami, again on the offence here in europe.

TinyTim: In this theater the Sami outnumber the Moors, though they are outdated.

Fate: Well that all depends how fast they can get their technologically superior navy through the channel.

TinyTim: The Goth situation seems to be less problematic, as their army is not even that outdated.

Fate: And the Moors will have a hard time getting units to the front, as Prussia is blocking the way.

TinyTim: With Sangameshwar fallen all Shivaji’s last remaining coastal city has fallen. Their other two cities seem to be safe for now, as Zimbabwe forgot to bring a landing force.

Fate: And don’t forget the citadels, there is some excellent defence there. I can see 6 of them connected, good luck getting through that.

TinyTim: Australia seems to go for the Qin burgerhere, between two Kazakh buns.

Fate: Ying Zheng is belligerent drunk, yelling at the Australian ships while his advisors desperately try to keep him down.

Fate: But it didn’t seem to matter much, for Geelong now flies the Australian colours once again, and Ying Zheng is send of to a detox-“reeducation” camp

TinyTim: Starting out aggressively against the Xia and Canton pre-Endgame and later on proving they were China number one by defeating the Qing and kicking Shikoku out of Japan. We had high hopes for them coming into endgame, but they were quickly overpowered by the Kazakhs and Australia.

Fate: F

Fate: The last glimpse of Canton in this tournament, who have just been promoted to number one China, has just been placed like an American football that is about to be kicked.

TinyTim: But it is unclear who will be doing the holding, and who the actual kicking.

Fate: Well it seems you were wrong TinyTim. Maratha has just given up their inland city in a peace deal.

TinyTim: They were going to lose it anyway as their army has just evaporated and Zimbabwe actually brought in some units. Also, they just became the new India with even less tiles.

Fate: The Manx take back their city on the shetlands.

TinyTim: The Moors seem to be inactive on this front, but this might just be the silence before the storm.

TinyTim: It seemed Ablai Khan had done the kicking, and scored, that’s a wrap for Canton in endgame.

Fate: They were a magnificent civ, with a wonderful colour scheme. Unfortunately their position meant they would always be contained by their stronger neighbours. Rip no 1 China. You did get the first kill though.

TinyTim: F

TinyTim: The Metis declare on the Yupik, but they will have to go through Shikoku citadels before they get to the kill.

Fate: Speaking of citadels, the Metis have excellently defended their coast with some strategic citadels against a possible landing force.

Fate: The pacific derby goes on full once again, who will come out on top this time. Australia looks quite prepared in this slide.

TinyTim: You seem to be right, Hawke starts off good as he manages to retake Coffs Harbour. But Uruguay's navy is getting closer now

Fate: But Lavelleja has sent some boats up the north to conquer Australian Shikoku. The Australian navy has to go for the rebound here and take that back

Tinytim: If they don’t the entire pacific will soon br different shades of blue

Ibn Batuta: And here we see my personal list of literate people, my god does Hiawatta read a lot of books, the metis better watch out.

Fate: Also, a lot of ideologies can be seen in the sidebar. BC informed me that everyone has gone autocracy except Zimbabwe, who have order.

TinyTim: Eanodat seems to have flipped fro and to the Sami. It’s unclear whether the Manx or the Moors are responsible for this.

Fate: But they have to get rid of those archers if they ever want to be taken seriously. Or their cities will be taken, seriously!

TinyTim: This is not looking. Australia’s fleet has disappeared, and several cities are damaged.

Fate: This has the potential to become a much bigger problem for Australia than I thought.

Fate: Back at citadel city, now with two extra citadels, India has declared that they would like their capital back. This is rather unfortunate, as Maratha has made it theirs.

Tinytim: Bayinnaung goes in for the kill and declares war on the city state of Nepal.

Fate: This could very well be it for Nepal, the Taungoo army has a clear shot at Pokhara. Mountains won’t save them this time

TinyTim: Prepare your F’s

Fate: All of Australia’s holdings in the northern Pacific are gone now, and their fleet is no more

TinyTim: And the minimap seems to indicate that Uruguay has control again over their mainland Australian holdings

Fate: That must hurt. Australia is down, and I wonder if they can get up again. They must peace out ASAP.

Tinytim: If they don’t they will probably lose all their coastal cities

Fate: As the Manx peace out with the Sami they immediately get attacked by the Iroqouis, who have a far superior navy in the atlantic.

Tinytim: Torpedoes will probably not be very healthy for the Manx’ wood based navy.

Fate: Wollongong, the command center of Australia’s navy, is still holding out against all ods.

TinyTim: Which navy? I count more Marathan ships than Australian ones, and they don't even have a coastal city!!

Fate: Iroqouis prove themselves as Douglas falls, and we get a glimpse of sheer size of their navy, wich is also very advanced.

TinyTim: I’m more concerned about that squadron of planes stationed in southern Greenland.

Fate: As Ying Zheng is dragged out of the smouldering rubbles of Geelong, he is greeted by Uruguayan soldiers. Taking pity on the old trembling man they offer him a bottle of fine caribbean rum. Which he gladly accepts.

TinyTim: Uruguay retakes Wollongong, but Hakwes manages to retake brisbane. So maybe they can salvage something from this disaster.

Fate: An unseen attack on Konigsberg seems to have fizzled out, as no damaged units can be seen. But the Moors did manage to get their army through the channel, and are now on their way to Scandinavia

TinyTim: The Manx lose their capital to the Iroqouis, who have also parked their airforce in Ireland.

Fate: While the Moors have made landfall into Norway, encountering three generations of archery units, none of which is even close to the Moors’ technological level.

TinyTim: Pokhara holds on longer than expected, but is now almost completely surrounded. Nepal is not long for this world.

Fate: We heard that story before, but they’re still hanging on. Meanwhile on the other side of the world, Hiawhatta has build Pena National Palace, which increases their cities defences much like the Red Fort.

TinyTim: And the Moors just build the Prora, meaning they unlocked flight. This can become quite the problem for the Sami, as home baked cookies don’t do much against bombers.

Fate: Wagga Wagga has fallen to the Uruguayan navy, but Australia has enough land units in the vicinity to flip it back. But with largest city, Sidney, is in the deep red

Tinytim: As expected Abd-ar Rahman III takes full advantage of his technological superiority and bombs the Baltic coastal cities into the red.

Fate: They’re even sporting aircraft carriers!

Tinytim: Australia makes peace with Uruguay, but at the cost of half their empire.

Fate: Like there was much left of it.

Tinytim: At least they’re not dead.

Fate: Well, I didn’t know it was actually possible, but they are actually dead. After a good start in endgame nepal quickly returned to their original turtle self. Though the mountains kept them alive for a long time, the much bigger and more advanced army of the Taungoo could not be stopped. You outlived most of your direct neighbours, which is an amazing feat.

TinyTim: F

Tinytim: The Moors exert their dominance by taking the baltic cities of Konigsberg and Hedeby. The Goths might flip back Konigsberg though.

Fate: The Sami do not seem to stand a chance anymore as the Moors now have battleships and Great War infantry, fighting their Carracks and ARCHERS! Archers for god’s sake.

Tinytim: After an unexpectedly good run, the Manx finally sniff it. Together with the Vikings, they killed the Scots and even managed to shortly colonise America, only to be thwarted by the Vikings and the Iroqouis. The latter being responsible for their eventual demise.

Fate: F

Fate: Successfully deploying aircraft carriers, the Moors have managed to take Árjepluovve and the former viking capital of Nidaros.

Tinytim: The tech disparage is really hampering the Sami here.

Fate: A shot of the Iroquois core reveals the terrifying monster that lurks in the former candian woods. Almost carpeted, 21 planes, and a huge technological advantage over their close neighbours.

TinyTim: And don’t forget that they are meanwhile building every wonder possible, like the Cristo redentor, not that it has much use, but it shows that they have production to spare. And have reached plastics.

Fate: The Moors take even Moor, bombing all other cities but the capital into the black.

TinyTim: But the Sami finally have the currassier, so maybe they finally are teching up.

Fate: The Sami got lucky here, they’re not dead!

TinyTim: But this peace grants the Moors valuable time to recarpet against the blue menace. Maybe they will now be able to contain them even.

TinyTim: Fire in the hole. The Iroqouis army now has AA guns, modern infantry, and several planes. Already using them to half the health of two Metis cities.

Fate: And Riel still has riflemen, those are almost twice as weak as modern infantry. That's like modern infantry versus GDR’s. Imaging the slaughter on that battlefield.

TinyTim: Up north it looks a bit more even. Still Hiawatha’s airfleet might prove detrimental.

Fate: Maybe if they take Fort Pitt quickly they can eliminate a big chunk of those planes.

TinyTim: The Taungoo join the dogpile, I don't think Maratha has long to live.

Fate: And those citadels. There is now a continuous line of 16 citadels supplemented with forts. Maginot line 2.0

TinyTim: Hiawatha deploys paratroopers, takes lepai-nde, and damages a lot of Metis units and cities.

Fate: I think the Metis should throw the towel, or they can do nothing but lose.

Fate: NUKES!!! Hiawatha completes the manhattan project, as the current owner of manhattan that only makes sense.

TinyTim: Also note the artillery floating around in the gulf next to… Is that a trireme?

Fate: Zimbabwe joins the coalition and immediately kills the Maratha

Tinytim: Having an average run both pre- and post endgame, they were mostly hampered by their melee-itis which prevented them from killing any of their neighbours. This meant they had no expansion options in endgame.

Fate: F

Fate: In a war torn Europe, the Moors are now the undisputed number one

Tinytim: And the Urugayans change party again, maybe now they’ll upgrade those triremes in the Baltic.

Fate: The Iroqouis eliminate bordergore at the cost pf Metis dignity

Tinytim: Tech advantage really is the biggest theme of this episode. Remember, the relative difference between infantry and riflemen is almost as big as the relative difference between infantry and Giant Death Robots.

Fate: Hiawatha drops in a paratrooper to take the Metis capital.

Tinytim: A darin but effective move, but it’ll probably flip back.

Tinytim: Byt taking Fish Creek, the Iroqouis now threaten the coastal cities of Frenchman’s Butte, Lac la Biche and most importantly Prince Albert

Fate: Who made this civ so kinky!?!

Fate: Having earlier knocked out the rest of the Yupik’s cities, Shikoku is now finishing the job.

Tinytim: It’s like a lone goalie having to defend against an entire opposing team.

Fate: And Cev’aq falls almost immediately, bringing an end to Apanuugpak’s run, which was longer than expected. Their most memorable moments were their snipes of the Aztecs and Qing.

Tinytim: They also won that war against the Metis that one time.

Tinytim: And this is what happens when you rack up warmonger penalties

Fate: The struggle for the pacific begins. The question is whether Uruguay will expand their pacific empire, or will the Kazakhs start their own.

Tinytim: Don’t forget dark horse Iroqouis after they’ve taken all the Metis coastal cities.

Fate: It looks to be an even fight on the ground, but in the air it’s a totally different story.

Tinytim: I expect Shikoku to be completely decimated from this war.

Tinytim: The Metis keep losing more units and cities to the Iroqouis menace.

Fate: The Nubian knights, who were witness to last part’s peace deal, are looking on horrified as it evaluates to the frozen north.

Tinytim: The Kazakhs push on slowly as they take Yuzuki.

Fate: They really need put in more effort if they want to make significant gains from this war

Tinytim: You mean like this?

Fate: The Metis are left impotent as their southern cities are cut off from the rest of their empire

Tinytim: Or rather, what’s left of it.

Tinytim: The Kazaks push on as they take Dogo and bring the Shikoku capital into the red.

Fate: That artillery should com in handy in this mountainous terrain

Tinytim: As expected the Kazakhs take more cities as the Shikokan army is getting smaller and smaller.

Fate: Meanwhile we haven’t seen anything from pacific theatre as it seems Uruguay isn’t doing anything.

Tinytim: The Moors successfully use paratroopers to take the Gothic city of Oium. Reducing them to a city state

Fate: I really hope the Moors eat Prussia next, because I can’t stand this bordergore anymore.

Tinytim: It seems Hiawatha has managed to absorb Geronimo’s essence and weaponized it.

Fate: And using it they’ve managed to jerk Prince Albert back and forth

Tinytim: As we arrive at the last and Nicest slide, Wood Mountain remains too hard to take for the Iroqouis.

Fate: Well guys, thanks for watching this record breaking part. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we did, because we really did.