Episode 53: A Subterranean Worldview – S1

Hey everyone, LunarNeedle here! This is a special part, and by special I mean narrated, recorded and culled entirely by myself. This doesn’t come without any downsides, such as half-way through having hex grid on, having to skip multiple uninteresting turns. Tons of headaches I had to learn and adapt on the fly but...This part will be massive; and the violence will be intense! I’ve been given a good amount of time to narrate this so expect the audio to be an hour long.Let me know how a more narrative focused perspective-driven Royale suits you. And Dawkinzz, I am sorry. :(

Deep in the cyber sub, underneath the viewing arena was a bar with one solitary human swiping left and right on his holographic display. You didn’t know his name, but you knew your purpose. He was the narrator for the next episode: a selected few allowed to tell the narrative and perspective on this slice of the cylinder's history. As you made your way into the bar he spun you a seat, looking over to an image on the holotape with an amusing grin.“You finally made it, huh? Sit down and look at this. It’s amazing how perspectives can change, isn’t it? That last peace deal was heartbreaking for those who put support behind Hiawatha. They went from zero to hero and back to zero. Hah...”The man took a sharp drink of a yellow beverage, reacting in shock to the high alcoholic content before taking another long drink. You got yourself a seat next to him, looking towards the holotape with interest.

“Before we start, let’s get on the same page. Look. This is the map that the people know. Notice the large Kazakh holdings in America and the surprisingly split territory between the Moors and Zimbabwe, with obviously the Moors having a tactical edge. Also, look at the land Uruguay has. It might be 70% water, but Lavalleja has control over at least two continents with the capacity to project north and west. This is a powder keg waiting to erupt. However, we all know the real winners right now.”

“Kazakhs are the winners. Clearly. This part and all parts after will be determined by the decisions that the Kazakhs make. The world is waiting for your response, Ablai Khan. What, you think Zimbabwe will win? Sit down kid, I’ll order you a drink.”

“The battles in North America are fighting through ashes and soot. All cities north of the Yucatan to the Iroquois core are most likely abandoned wastelands. Cities here are trying to survive using nanotechnology and underground farms. The only standing structures in these cities are the large flagpoles with bullet-riddled flags. Hiawatha and Lavalleja are most likely facing riots in their core, and the demand of a regime change might be the only thing fueling these powers to grind and grind away.”

“The Moorish cities alongside the coast are definitely a thorn in the side of Uruguay. I’m not talking yields, as only Valencia has considerable lands and resources worth taking. The message of letting a rival Civilization own from the tip of South America up to former Haitian lands must be insulting. They were once the lands Lavalleja took pride in yanking away from Haiti even when the Kuikuro stood against all oppressors. If I’m a betting man, which I am, the war in America is likely the only reason someone hasn’t taken an attempt to assassinate the Uruguayan supreme leader.”

“I imagine it falls like rain. No, not acid rain, but hover tanks raising up and down in a show of force against the country of Zimbabwe that was forced to sign an open borders treaty. Yes, even in a world this messed up, shows of force and bravado are still important. I imagine Mutota’s political future must be on the edge. Everyone not Kazakhs must be having a difficult political life…

“See, being a failing totalitarian state has many downsides. In a world where people don’t vote, they riot. And when they riot, eventually you’ll find yourself dead. Sure, being one of the immortals like myself guarantees a new you will rule the empire by next turn, it’s just a turn where the people can lead…and sometimes those people decide letting Madagascar in their empire is ideal. But I’ll cross that bridge later. Wait, is that a Qin trebuchet?! Oh bugger. I’m ordering another drink…”

“That hits the spot. Where was I? Oh yeah. This scene is the same old, same old. Iroquois got useless cities. Sure, having two natural wonders is kinda nice, but those tiles are weaker than most Future Era improvements. Let it go, Hiawatha. No one wants to live there after the stuff you and Lavalleja did to it. I somehow knew these two kids would be the final two in the Americas. They never got along. It seems that even childhood rivalries can play on the big screen.”

“Kazakhs armies are consistently large, but notice the odd cutoff with those naval units hovering over water. I don’t know those specifics, but the grand leaders are apprehensive to move any unit over water, even if it retains its combat stats. I imagine that will change as they are forced to move their units into water. Regardless, that won’t matter soon considering… wait; I’m telling you too much. Next scene.”

“Collapsed - just like I predicted, and it seems the deeper south you go the more the army gets thicker and more powerful. I wonder if Uruguay is just willingly playing with its food. Damn, childish rivalries die hard, don’t they?” “Speaking of rivalries. The Carribean Moorish and American Kazakh cities in this show have more population than any non-core city in this scene. I wonder if the people hiding under soot and shells want to be kept under the protection of Ablai Khan’s emerald throne.”

“What makes Zimbabwe weak is not what they provide but what they lack. They have air power strong enough to turn every war into a slog, but who do they fight? Moors are just as well defended, and this large air force will have limited impact in the emptier Uruguayan core. The only thing they could probably take is a few coastal cities and Madagascar proper, but even that feels like it’ll just spell the end of Mutota. I expect, honestly, that Moors and Kazakh will divide Zimbabwe’s holdings. Such is the life of a regional power against mega-empires, I suppose…”

“Lavalleja called the paper tiger’s bluff and opted to strike against the Moors. It’s.. honestly smart of him. Maybe he could pull out of America until he’s willing to invest actual resources. The Uruguayan city of Cumania and Carmelo is proof that even Uruguay considers the advantages of a modern air force. I wonder if they even have the resources to manifest a large army.”“Fun fact: did you know that this world was made abundant with resources? For every capital from pre-endgame  was given a plentiful amount of every strategic resource. Either way, they’ve got tons of it and their core still looks THIS empty, especially compared to the big three across the ocean. Anyways, I’m rambling on. Let’s go to the next scene.”“Wait, that icon looks different…”

“Over a hundred thousand men just evaporated as war was declared with Kazakhs, the obvious aggressor. No flips yet, but the thinning on the front is concerning. An airforce is the key. Look at how much the Moors have. Meanwhile, aside from the vulnerable city of Snåase, not many units cross into the self-imposed demilitarized zone… Wait a moment...”“I knew a time like this would come, but I wasn’t expecting it to be now. The AI, in its wisdom, has learned how to use its air force for something other than city-bombing. Indeed, men in city-dwarfing hover-tanks are the new target for the airpower of the Moors. The Age of Carpet Bombing is upon us.”

“Like a paper tiger, the concept of the Moorish new world colonies evaporates like gunpowder, leaving behind pillaged citadels and low population cities. But all is not too painful, as all cities here only flipped once. The Moors will not feel such a loss as to commit a navy to this war at all. The morale gain for Uruguayan troops, however, must be felt. I wonder if they’ll actually carpet up before it’s too late. Hah.”

“The DMZ has stretched a few tiles back in both directions…” The man, who had done little but orate the experience looks towards you with a concerned expression, his face agape. “This is not good. Look at all the units missing on the Kazakhs side. I can’t believe they’ve done it. Madagascar… Do you know what you did when you traded Babylonian secrets…? I thought it was odd when you didn’t come to the second season inauguration. But you traded secrets to the AI…?” He seemed angered but focused his eyes back on the slideshow on the hologram.

“Moors have gained the knowledge of the power of air, and have begun bombing the entire core of the Kazakhs. Nebuchadnezzar discovered such tactics aeons ago. It’s why we’re in the submarine. These walls are a testament to that. I can’t believe it… Is this a sick joke?”

Zooming in on the slideshow, the unknown narrator looked over to you, dusting off his suit. His eyes seemed readied on you, watching your motions. You knew you were being judged, as if his gaze was testing your loyalty to not leak this out. One wrong move, and it was likely someone would be knocking on your door for the last time. You just had to close your mind and focus. Focus on the game.

“America has- well, we’ve seen this picture before. But look at the absolute absence of anything but airpower in this scene. It seems the Iroquois are gaining on Uruguay due to the distraction of the newly awakened Moors. I wonder what Madagascar gained in exchange for such knowledge; Was killing the Kazakhs worth it?”

“The Moors aren’t good at diplomacy. Maybe the information got out that they are grinding down the Kazakhs and everyone, even Zimbabwe, are fighting to prevent it. They’re pushing through the flatland Baltics with great speed. Unless the Kazakhs relocate their planes to the east, it might be too late. Right? No, no. I’m over exaggerating…”

“The gaps in the Zimbabwe army aren’t due to a lack of units - those were all Kazakh units mere moments ago. I analyzed the beginning of the part. America was mostly full and India was stuffed with units. You can even see a few dinosaurs. What… what happened? Could the Moorish Middle East be bombing India clean of any Kazakh units that could risk the former Palmyran land?”

“It seems like a cycle: Iroquois pushes back, captures cities, loses all their units, collapses back to their core, Uruguay loses all their units, repeat. It’s not fun or exciting. The power rankers downstairs must be ripping their hair out right now. Oh yeah, this part is a leak. I must’ve forgotten...”The more the narrator spoke, the less and less sure you knew exactly where he sat in the hierarchy of Babylon. He knew things that you could only loosely grasp. You couldn’t leave even if you wanted to at that point; you knew too much.

“Striking while the iron is hot is the new norm it seems. I can’t believe they even thought they could. Zimbabwe, you cannot surpass them anymore. Of course, I’d like to be wrong. These are AIs we’re talking about. Even some weak Civilizations like Madagascar found ways to impress before; you know, selling themselves to the devil. Maybe this is Zimbabwe’s game to lose. Let’s just flip to the next scene. ”

“Okay, okay. I admit. That’s impressive. Look at how quick they hit the Mediterreanean. The army, in most games, seems balanced. There’s not much in the way of an air force to mess with, so this is a pure battle. This seems likely to go Zimbabwe’s way, although that’s only because the world's biggest empire is the target of their planes. Can Zimbabwe hold though?”

“The Middle East seems to be collapsing, but only due to the Kazakhs’ persistence to move through Zimbabwean territory blocking most common capture points. This seems like a toss-up I’ll be honest, but I could see Zimbabwe connecting their Indian colony to the mainland.”

“The effect of wiping out a large portion of the frontline army on all sides, is that the center of the empire is rapidly trying to move towards the front, resulting in these jams. It’s honestly as classic as the Civilization Battle Royale. Madagascar seems to be enjoying their new ally in the Kazakhs, although their outdated display units are blocking a lot of areas on their core. With Total War happening soon, this won’t be an issue anymore.”His face scowled, glancing over to you before taking a long drink. You both shared a moment of silence before he pressed on, “Oh, you didn’t know. Primarch Lime warned me when giving me the episode, that due to production constraints that Total War is being called. One is happening on turn 1200 actually; so yeah. Those units will disappear fast.”You couldn’t respond if you wanted to. The world was wrapped in war already. Pushing it to the end wouldn’t hurt too much. Right?

“Torcello to Meroe flipped back, and the once dominant army of Zimbabwe collapsed, turning the one-sided fight into a slog. That’s a shame, I was hoping that someone would’ve put the carpet bomber in place. Although, in the city of Mursiyyah, look at that. Sixteen suborbital bombers with high levels arrived, and they all seem ready to torch the remaining army. Although, throwing so many valuable units in a city surrounded by a few Hovertanks seems… Let’s say it’s a bit risky.

“Oh wow. That’s a smart move. The Moors captured the cities of Kiteve and Callinicum. They are not at war with Zimbabwe, but they are with the Moors. So, by letting these cities get captured by the Kazakhs, they forced a choke point of the remaining Zimbabwean units. Unfortunately for them, this resulted in the loss of Palmyra and another city in Turkey. It seems likely that Zimbabwe might be able to capture cities in Moorish proper. Are they actually going to conquer them…? Impossible.”

“Uruguay pulls a cheeky capture, and considering the overall empty Iberia, it might stand for a few turns. Uruguay is destined to stab the Moors before they get too crazy. Maybe I’m judging it all wrong. Look at that core and what’s missing. No units, but tons of civilians. They are using their core properly and fighting a good fight, but with Zimbabwe still holding a frontline city and pushing up to Europe… maybe I panicked for no good reason?”

“Look, the Kazakhs are collapsing the Moors from all sides. There’s no way they can keep up. Scandinavia is completely covered in airpower, but it seems that their core is defenseless. Let’s put a pin in that massive northern Kazakh army.”

“And with that, it’s pretty much guaranteed to be a Zimbabwe Africa. This is amazing; their combined power is pushing down and grinding the core of the Moors, and they don’t seem to be able to resist the combined attack coming from all sides.”He almost seemed happy to watch the Moors fall. His smile was out and proud. Since you entered the empty bar, you’ve seen nothing but serious looks on his face. The man glances at you and immediately stiffens up, nervously rubbing his cheeks. “Oh, I got money on the Kazakhs winning it all. Sorry if it made me seem biased. But I’ve been betting on them to win it all since I saw the original map. So much space... It was inevitable, really.”

“And it’s gone. Damn. The Moors are really capable of forcing out pretty much any Zimbabwe threat, but look at the city of Mursiyyah from earlier. Gone. No air force ,and the population flipped sides four times before going back to the Moors. I imagine the planes were lost too. Seems likely to flip again now that Giant Death Robots are on the field. Dang.”

“Not many turns have passed, but all cities up here got bombed down to the yellow and the Kazakh units are trying to push into Finland with little to no success. Meanwhile the frontline south of Snaase is either devoid entirely of units or burning from airpower. It seems like the Moorish opportunity to use the knowledge of Babylon was thwarted the same way the best of battles were thwarted before Endgame. Peacekeepers.”“Also, Zimbabwe controls Berlin now, which is a sentence I never thought I would say when I took this job years ago...”

“In the North, it’s a different story. It seems in the peace deal, the Kazakhs gained a few empty Greenland cities from Iroquois, but now that those tiles are spawning dinos, I don’t think it’s likely to be empty for long. Meanwhile a large unused navy seems to be floating between Ja-... THAT northern city and the former Manx core with no targets. These units will be key in flipping any Scandinavian coastal cities, but are useless here. Also, hey - Uruguayan government change. That’s cool, I guess?”

“An army positioned between all possible targets, but out of range of all possible targets, is an army that might as well not exist. Sadly, Berlin being controlled by Zimbabwe ended. A new army with a mix of hovertanks and dinos has materialized in the Russian Kazakh lands, but they seem to be on the defense. Perhaps they know what’s coming…”He seemed to be a lot happier. Unlike most people who cheer for the underdogs, he seemed to want the game to end more than anything. His points were cynical and he seemed to be awaiting Total War with eager anticipation. At least he’s taken a liking to you.

“Despite controlling a small portion on the edge of Greenland, it seems like the Iroquois are prioritizing educating its citizens into active participants in the economy. There are over thirty-five citizens in the city of Ossernenon while the remainder of the cities sit at twelve citizens all together.”“Oh, and Unjarga flipped, though without much units to defend. It seems Ablai Khan has more pressing matters to attend to.”

“The African occupation of Palmyra ended in a miraculous push with a few Nexus’ and a few spare navy units. That’s the benefit of fighting with scraps. You take cities every single turn. However, you have little protection and you end up flipping those cities into ruins. This late in the technology tree, you need an army to hold the city and push forward. Snipes won’t get you too far. Although, the Kazakhs might be able to gain something by capturing Antioch with that nearby velociraptor. Even if just for the memes.”

“Well, that just happened. This went from a one-sided Zimbabwe victory, to something akin to a Moorish blitzkrieg. A few clusters of units are still attempting to strike Mursiyyah, but with the sheer amount of units beginning to flood in, it doesn’t seem like it’ll last. It’s likely these units will be encircled and defeated. That’s a shame, but perhaps the distraction will be enough to…”He frantically spread his fingers to look at the minimap, “Wait? They lost the Baltics again?! How?”

“This might seem like a full carpet, but even in the core of Australia, which was unharmed by recent wars, has only loose assemblies of uncoordinated units. Uruguay might be dealing with production problems. I doubt these units are even produced. Blue Cassette made it so every time Future Tech was researched, a unit from Future Era would be spawned in every city in their empire. Considering how odd these units are, it explains a lot. What is Uruguay even building? It’s almost time for Total War.”

“The Kazakh cities are finally under fire now that the Moors are rolling through. It seems that Zimbabwe dominance is over. I was hoping they’d hold off the Moors long enough for the Kazakhs to rebuild, but look up to the top right. There’s very few Kazakh units, and they are all moving toward the western front. This looks bad. It depends on how Total War ends up though. This game might just be over. What? Too dramatic? Yeaaah, people might not like that in the middle of the part.”

“Regardless, look at this. Moorish West Africa seems to be on fire once more as most of the defense is pushed to Sapelle. No planes overhead means that this is a pure battle. Ignore the artillery though, that’s just a display piece returning to the Museum nearby. No one would seriously use that in combat...right?”

“The front has begun to push and fast; pushing Berlin and Arheimar out of Zimbabwean hands and into the hands of the Moors. At this point, yeah, there’s nothing left. Bombing raids from the superior air force have been effective, but by the time Ablai Khan found out you can attack units, their entire frontline got obliterated. You can see thicker piles of units near Turkistan but… is that next to their capital? Could the Kazakhs lose their capital?”The narrator seemed bewildered, leaning back in the bar stool aimlessly as he looked to the ceiling, as if inspecting it for clues. For once, the man seemed totally human. He was just as lost as you. How are the Kazakhs losing?

You still desired to scroll onward through the presentation, despite the narrator’s apparent bewilderment, tapping over to a scene where, once more, Zimbabwe pulled an offense to the Mediterreanean. But, you could see from the units that aside from slipping Meroe, that they might lose from the western front collapsing. The narrator finally came to his senses, looking to the screen before smiling a wicked grin.“You know, kid, while the Kazakhs winning is ideal, I’ll be honest. I just want to see the world end. Haven’t you heard the news? The leaders are already preparing for their trip on the cylinder. A new world is approaching. I don’t care if the Moors win, or if the Kazakhs win. I have much, much more important duties in the future.”The silence filled the air as the narrator with a crazed tired expression took an aggressive shot of what seemed to be whisky with Kazakh script on the bottle. A rare delicacy to have a drink from the cylinder. You would have stopped to ask where he got the rare drink, but you didn’t have time as he transitioned to the next scene.

“Zimbabwe could’ve been a contender. Their empire is absolutely beautiful. From Taungoo, to Maratha, to Nubia, to home. They accrued all their production deficiencies and science problems. It’s no wonder they're behind. Sometimes, you have to take a strike at the biggest, juiciest target to get a shot. Sometimes, it’s not about winning, but making others lose faster.”

“Two turns from Armageddon, and it’s not looking good for the Kazakhs. They will lose America in a few turns, and now the rest of Europe seems to be at risk. At least the Kazakhs will be able to exact revenge on Madagascar, so they got that going for them.”

 “I could’ve sworn I saw this exact same image moments ago. The Kazakhs seemed to resummon its army to take the Iroquois core, but peaced out by the time the army could actually take something. Remember, due to the nature of the Kazakhs’ American holdings, they have to fight from two directions and in the range of many core Iroquois cities. They might all evaporate into nothing... or we could see the Iroquois lose their capital. My money is on the Kazakhs losing the continent, though.”

“...Surprisingly vacant here. I don’t expect this front to explode too much. Although by the time we spin our view here, I expect it to be a flip fest like Uruguay and Iroquois. I could be wrong and suddenly Iberia is Zimbabwean though. That’d be fun.”

“Oh hey, look! A Haidan settler in international waters. Perhaps they were hoping the constant flipping of Las Piedras could result in the city being razed and for their settler to float in to settle a city. It’s a bold move, but unfortunately this Total War thing is not optional. I doubt any of these cityless units would survive more than one or two turns. It’s sad; but we might have to give a soft F for many empires soon.”

“Madascan units seem to understand the inevitable and opted to lock arms thinking they’ll become stronger through the power of friendship. A Qin knight offers his advice on how to position themselves. In more serious news, the army buildup actually seems to be on the Kazakhs’ advantage. In the deep North, there’s little units. Meanwhile, the Baltics seems to be carpeted by the defense-focused Nanohive units around Snaase, and all south seems to be in favor of Moors. Wait, I think there’s a scene for that…”

“Ah, there; the Kazakhs seem to be pushing down here as both sides are dealing with heavy losses. Once more, the armies here seem to be unable to approach the heavily damaged cities. I wonder what it’s like to live in Arheimar... actually, I don’t. I prefer this bar.”

“Okay, okay. I was wrong in even doubting my original suspicion. The Moors are just going to send a shock troop of units to capture a swath of Zimbabwean cities, lose their army, rebuild a new one in their capital and repeat until Zimbabwe is dead. Add in the very powerful air support from Mursiyyah and Eko and there’s not many chances that Zimbabwe can win. This is likely a wash for Mutota unless they get all of their cities to produce hovertanks to slow them down, or rely on the aforementioned Nanohive unit. They should just defend and hope that the Moors runs out of units and collapse to the Kazakhs horde.”

“...What? Prediction games are serious business in the group I’m in. A friend runs the thing. Don’t judge.”

“We’ve seen this part of the world before, except this time the disparity is so obviously one-sided and the war is inevitable. How do I expect this to go? In one word, badly. I don’t expect this part of the cylinder to remain Zimbabwean unless the Kazakhs and Uruguay bungle up badly. So, knowing AI competency, it’s anyone's guess.”

“Although, honestly, if they can make it over the ocean and hold off the Moorish advance, it’s very possible that Uruguay can find some Zimbabwean colonies propped up along the coast. Do I think it will happen? Honestly, looking at this map...maybe?”

“Oh, I remember this. They were sending messages through low distance communication and airing them out around the world. We were informing them of the incoming wars. They had like five years, so they were probably panicking around now. Explains why nothing happened.”The narrator took a deep swig as he gazed over to you. You remembered he was a narrator selected for the final part. But now this man was saying he had a direct say in the induction of  total war. Just the thought made you realize his cavalier attitude he’d been giving you might just be for show. Who was this man?

“Finally! The good part. Okay, here we see a frontline confused. Madagascar has a good chance to actually scoop up a city here. Meanwhile, Moorish soldiers begin to push closer and closer to the border, although losses near… oh, lord, I am not pronouncing those cities.” he loosely gestured upwards to the Scandinavian cities, clearing his throat. “Losses near these cities are particularly light due to bombing from nearby in Aarborte.” He seemed excited, like a bloodrush of ecstacy filling his eyes. His speaking was more fevered and seemed to be beaming with excitement. One thing crossed your mind as he went to the next page. That was likely the last time you’d see the great Qin knight. You’d press an F, but there’s no keyboard around. Shame.

“Wait... Oh, yeah. This is the turn before the war. Yeah, boring. These cities are pretty boned though. We could see a split of Kazakh Canada and Uruguayan Texas, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Oh hey look, Moors claimed most of their cities on the Mediterreanean again. That’s… cool?”

“Excuse me, what!? How did you lose that!? Did the airforce bomb you down? Kazakhs, come on. Okay, now I want the Moors to defeat you. This could’ve been a four way battle if you played your cards right. Oh heavens… this just pains me to see. Credits given to the Iroquois for the defense; I truly do not know how they did that.”The narrator slumped back into the light, giving you a long moment to look at him. He had slicked back, ruffled hair and a pronounced forehead. He had a medal on his chest, but it was in a script that wasn’t taught in the sub. He seemed oddly tired as he slumped back forward. “Anyways, next scene.”

“You know, after the first excited jump, I’m not doing another. The air force seemed to have split between two of the core cities in northern Finnish lands as they bombed down more and more hovertanks. They seem absolutely ruthless. I appreciate such tenacity.”

“Kazakhs dropped their training weights it seems, because they basically summoned an entire army, including a few Chimera units which have a bit less movement potential, in favor of not having weaknesses in capturing cities. This will become useful when attempting to capture heavily-defended city of Pokhara and former Nepal capital, Kathmandu. Honestly, I see no opposition with this. If they can hold back the Moors, they can split Zimbabwe. Perhaps then they could finally muster up more than ten planes. Oh, what am I saying; they’d rather build more Hovertanks.”

“Further East on the map we see a rather consistent front from border to border. I have to admit, war will make these borders look a lot uglier. Now, I expect a lot of these cities to be an ugly mish-mash of Kazakh, Uruguayan and Zimbabwe cities for the foreseeable future until one power can dominate over this region. This entire region will become a hotbed unless the Kazakhs can sweep the subcontinent.”.

“Aaaand, that’s my fear. Look at all the units scrambling to capture all the available land. Although, look what’s not here. I was just noting how many units there were here a few turns ago, and now all that’s left is a few Kazakh units and a weakened Uruguayan attack force. “Did… did the knowledge of the air get passed down to Zimbabwe or were nukes to blame? If only I can zoom in more. I did it later in the part-” The man stopped speaking, clearing his throat, “I SAW later in the part, I mean!”

“Zimbabwe has learned it by force. Antananarivo seems pillaged. I can even tell the Library of the Collective Mind was accessed. That has to explain it. It’s either they used the power of the atom or the power of air. Either way, something came from above and smashed into Uruguay. Did Uruguay not learn the power of the air, or were they shunning the airforce? This game could’ve been over if the power was learned earlier. I’m glad. No one wants an Uruguayan victory.”

“Okay, Kazakhs, if you don’t stop showing off your fancy floating Hot Wheels collection, I’m taking them away until you learn to behave yourself. Seriously, this is just cruel. They are awful at attacking cities, so they just crowd around, taking potshots at the city until they eventually take it. They straight up ignored Jiangling. Classic.”

“Yeah, here was when I realized how often the AI loved to nuke. Look at the lands here. They just LOVE tossing nukes. Perhaps the power of the air has bonded with the power of the atom to bring total destruction as I don’t even think any unit here is capable of reaching a city, not to mention damaging it. Mutually assured destruction is the modus operandi in these parts it seems.”

“The sheer punishing array of bombs dropped on the fertile plains is astounding. This area has less units than this part of the world had at Turn 40. I’d kill to be on the ground. I think I’d make a good leader, don’t you think?”The narrator looked for approval. You knew that you had to agree to learn more. With a steady nod, you agreed causing the man to laugh rather boisterously. Within seconds, he wiped his eyes, breathing rather sharply from such a short burst of laughter, “Sorry, I’m glad to hear that from you. Listen, after this is done. How about we meet up like this tomorrow?”You agreed, but before you can even nod your head, he tapped the hologram, causing the scene to change.

“Oh, huh. I’m surprised they made it all the way to Taungoo, proper before running out. I was kinda joking when I said I expected them to make it to India. Despite the overwhelming force, all it takes is a few bad rolls and a few misplaced units over the waters of Oceania for a few dozen units to disappear.””Although, north I can see some actual progress. The Kazakhs are likely to capture all of Indonesia before finally slowing down and focusing all the effort on Zimbabwe proper. Maybe they’ll use the generally flat terrain around Canton as a hop off point to sweep from the East? Okay, okay. I know that’s a stretch.”

“It’s amazing how tenacious the Iroquois are. I know they’re going against the whole ‘ending the game earlier so the next season can start’ thing, but I have to sit back and appreciate how Iroquois manage to win with scraps against larger powers who don’t have the knowhow to actually invade and capture their core.” “If Greenland was entirely Moorish, they could theoretically paradrop into the Iroquois core and go on a capture spree, so valiantly Iroquois fights to make sure their homeland is safe. I wonder how long their scrappy, good luck will last…? Forever…?”

“Oh yeah, a military chart. I remember that. Now, officially, the Kazakhs’ military score is below Uruguay’s. But, remember that the Kazakhs are almost entirely melee units, meanwhile Uruguay has a garbage fleet on par with old Australia’s famed ‘Garbage Sheet Fleet’. I’m pretty sure they just constructed a whole army in the south. I guess the loss in the Americas was a lot harder felt than it seemed. Damn. How did you lose it to Iroquois of all people?...”

“Speaking of, now to America. It seems like Iroquois has only gained since the start of this part. From being pushed back to their core to now retaining all their former glory before losing it all to the peace deal to end all peace deals. They seem pretty thinly strapped though, with little but a few Nexuses and a few stray units of every type. It seems they are coasting on their science bonus awarding them a unit each four turns or so. A bold move, but is it wise?”

“We got some detail of the nuclear hellscape near the Rocky Mountains which seems to result in little to no damage over time to the Nanohive and Giant Death Robot patrolling. Something important to note here, is that I think that peace can still be declared. The Blue Cassette team informed me that every twenty turns Total War will be redeclared until there is a victor, increasing to every hundred turns by turn 1300; which seems aeons away so let’s just..”

“Huh, so the gigantic army just evaporated. I swear, hovertank armies are just an illusion, because now Uruguay seems likely to take all of Japan with an air force stationed in Shikoku proper. Also off screen, I think that was Wuzhong that got nuked off the map. RIP.”

“Civilizations aren’t playing around anymore. It seems that the narrator's curse is real, and within a moment all of Taungoo was turned into a jumble of Kazakh and Uruguayan units. I don’t know entirely how it’ll turn out. Perhaps there was a peace deal, but judging from the units bearing down on Allahabad, I doubt it.”

“Elsewise, around the subcontinent, it seems all Kazakh units are on the immediate frontline with no more support coming. They have more production and science than everyone else, so every single one of those cities will be producing tons of units very fast. It seems Ablai Khan ain't worried. Perhaps he’s so confident that he can split up the continent with the troops he has. Well, whatever it is, it’ll take more than armies of hovertanks when running into large air forces and more nukes coming by the turn.”

“You should never doubt Uruguay. As they make landfall in Zimbabwe, a bunch of units hold and maintain the front. It seems unlikely anyone will make gains with the absolutely pathetic amount of units on all sides, but for all we know we could be seeing Zimbabwe become a new frontline. Keep a push-pin in that for the next episode.”

“With not many troops left, the army hides over the Ural mountains. Perhaps they’re lost. Either way, Zimbabwe seems to have the only major force in this scene near the former Golden Horde capital location of Suzak. I doubt they’re even here to capture, but their presence is kinda funny. It’s possible that they already sued for peace with Kazakhstan. Well, all peace deals expire in eleven turns, so I think that force is better used more south.”

“Oh... that’s it. That’s sad….” Spoke the narrator, finally leaning back into his seat as stats display on screen. “Uruguay passed the Kazakhs, which is disturbing, however this confirmed the death of the Haida settler, the Qin knight and the Madagascan units. At this point, it’s only five people fighting for domination.” And you were there to watch, so that was nice.

He seemed slumped over, almost defeated as he looked over to you. His eyes were bloodshot, and his smile was wide. In the distance, you heard multiple pairs of footsteps go down a nearby staircase into the bar, “Well kid, I’m sorry… About that arrangement, consider it expired. My time is over.”He stood up and gazed at you one more time as a giant entered the bar. Standing at nearly ten feet tall, with a long braided beard and shoulder length frayed white-and-brown hair, walks in, “Blue Cassette is asking your attendance sir! This agreement was not optional. Do you understand the agreement you made with us? Was the nonstop begging to the community for you meaningless?” His voice boomed. The robotic bartender lowered his head and moved to clean glasses on the far side of the table, letting you to witness the majesty of the immortal.

“Nebby, I mean, Nebbuchadnezzar! I thought the arrangement was yesterday. Y-Yeah…” Stammered the narrator before the curtain master. Nebby furrowed his brow, looking for an answer to which the stumbled narrator refused. With a dismissing shake of his head, he turned to you. His gaze was long and wise, steady and yet inviting. He knew why you were here.“Hiding behind a human to not get detected? Simon Bolivar, you were meant to not resort to such tactics. I had to restart the original simulation because of you. You are to report for mind cleansing immediately. Talk to administrative expert Coiot for immediate instructions!”You feel a chill up your spine, reaching to stand up. You would reach out to say something only to find your mouth unable to move. Nebuchadnezzar leaned down and reached his hand to you, “Thanks for your service. Production will begin, thanks to you… Agent Em.”