Episode 34: Tales from the Observation Deck – S4

Release Date:

December 04, 2024

Narrated by:

ECH

Abstract

We see plenty of the Cylinder, but let me ask you, what’s happening closer to home, back on the Observation Deck?

Viewing: Vertical

Jump to scene

The Curtain Rises

1 / 0

1: The Curtain Rises

Hello, and welcome (a touch belatedly) to Episode 34 of the Civilization Battle Royale X Sesaon 4! I’m ECH, potentially recognisable as the username behind the weekly stat posts nowadays, and as of X4 also a Power Ranker, which is fun! This is my 4th narration rodeo, so I sure hope it ends up an enjoyable time.

I’m going to try again what I did last time I had the pen for an episode: simply put, I like my nerdy rambly little lore sections, which this time will be exploring ideas of how the game on the Sub itself operates, but I know they go long and some people aren’t into that sort of thing, which is fair. Therefore, I’ll note Lore sections with a ‘L:’ at the start of them, and assuming no format issues will mark the end of lore sections with a line between paragraphs. Let’s get into this!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Curtain Rises

1: The Curtain Rises

2: After…

I can’t recall the last time Lac’s Google Map got a spotlight up here, which is a shame when it’s also such an awesome document for envisioning the world of this season. Other maps may offer greater gameplay understanding, but don’t tell me you don’t get a thrill checking around for what cities are where in reality and other such trivia!

3: These…

This week's installment of Pacific Pals concerns the Wahgi-Bora-Bora war, a topic you’d better be prepared to hear plenty on, so this makes a perfect opener. As a BB pessimist, I think the reaction shown here is entirely appropriate, but what do I know?

4: Messages!!!

God, I just can’t ever believe how badass and beautiful every single person on this page here is. Man, it’s like donating to it actively makes you more awesome and successful. If you haven’t, you should totally try it, I’m sure you’ll also end u- … OK, apparently I’m breaking ‘advertising ethics’ now, whatever that means, so let’s move on.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Last week on CBRX4

5: Last week on CBRX4

The biggest mover last week was, understandably, the already boxed-in Kazan. Turns out when a civ who was already a major threat declares on you, and you add in them having places while you don’t, the rankers get a touch negative about your future.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Curse upon Uniquity

6: A Curse upon Uniquity

L: Up there, above, the blizzard rages. Unnaturally omnipresent in this antarctic ice-valley, already covered in near eternal night and surrounded by impenetrable mountains, nought survives up there. But crash below the ice, down down down through midnight black deluges, and mayhaps one might spot a glint of light, a pinprick down in the endless like some deathbed vision of heaven (which, you’re more than likely heading to as the pressure, cold, oxygen deprivation or roving mecha-sharks hit you first). If you were to survive deeper, miraculously, the pinprick would emerge into rectangular slabs and portholes built sleekly into the reinforced hull of a gargantuan subsurface craft, a vessel not merely of Future tech, but Beyond Future tech, with a floor area rivalling the land area of many rump civs. Welcome, to the Sub.

“Anything of note so far today?” booms Co-Executive Officer Abd al-Rahman as he steps into a central chamber atop the Sub, one bestowed with a rare aforementioned rectangular ‘skylight’ on it’s sloped ceiling, but otherwise bathed in the glow of hundreds of plasma screens around the room: invisible drone shots of frontiers; cameras in government meeting rooms and palace halls the Cylinder over; spy cameras following workers and key units, etc. The centre of the massive chamber is filled with seating and tables suitable for a variety of purposed, from report-strewn study tables (constantly supplied to the latest news) to coffee table chat spaces to chaises and recliners; and to the side insulated doorways lead into A/V chambers, suitable for any crowd to peruse the latest cultural gifts of this created world. The ‘Observation Deck’ is a suitable title for it indeed: from here the entire cylinder is but a plaything for you to know.

The chamber is quiet today however, only a few leaders of the past milling around conversing and catching up with the latest affairs of this ‘game’. Rahman bears a suitably satisfied grin as he walks up to 2 figures engrossed in some brief from Bavaria, fairly new denizens in their world, Gushi Khan and Shajar al-Durr. “Enjoying your reading there?”, the former champion remarks with some cheer, startling the immortal Khan. “Oh, Officer Rahman! Ha, no issue, just… just still so engrossed in all this!”. His companion today rolls her eyes. “13 years on board and still at amazement at it all. Give it another decade, and you’ll be more engrossed in the dining floor or hobby centres like the rest of us most days, ha!”. A tad embarrassed, the heavyset Khan picks the brief up and shoves it at the co-Executive Officer. “You’ll be interested in this, new unit out of Bavaria. Peculiar thing…”

The wisened old officer carefully flips through the brief, a summation of this months updates from sources in the German lands, and coos at the supplied pictures. With practices ease he navigates the islands of seating to a large screen, followed by the curious defeated leaders, and brings up some drone shots with live footage of a very decorative regiment of soldiers glinting in the sun as they march. “Oh dear, the madmans’ gone for style.” he mutters. Gushi and Shajar look whistfully at the screen, then each other. “Same old Ludwig…” they speak as one, sharing a chuckle. Altogether, at least a day with one new bit of news on the monotonous eternity that is the Sub.

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Yes, we indeed start with a new unique unit gracing our battlefields, albeit one I would not exactly call a game change, unless it ends up actively damaging Bavaria’s prospects. Yes, the pretty Hartschier is a Lancer replacement with a peculiar set of ‘bonuses’: it’s cheaper than a lancer, but also weaker, slower, and unable to capture cities. It never obsoletes, and gains a massive +50% defense when on Bavaria’s Scholl UI (which I haven’t yet seen our Ludwig build). Add in this seasons odd run of civs grabbing their UU just before or while being taken out of contention (Mamluks, Burgundy, Royal Hungary, Siam, etc), and I wouldn’t call this units arrival a hopeful omen.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Unbound Steppes

7: The Unbound Steppes

L: A few months later, one can find a more bustling chamber, just about every seat claimed and some late leaders even standing, a massive screen brought into the centre like a cinema. When you’re an immortal stuck on a sub since the dawn of history, no matter how decked out it is, you pay attention to highly propagated national addresses from any of the civs, even a mid-tier like Mongolia. The ruckus of the room dies down as on the screen Sorghaghtani takes up a podium before a roaring crowd of her people. “People of Mongolia, we come from a grand tradition of riders, of fighters and survivors. I have called this kurultai together to lay out our future, built on our values and-”

“If we had currency, I’d bet 10 of it she’s gonna announce a military takeover!” jeers Idriss Deby from the back, to the shushing of his peers around him. The speech goes on and on, hyping up Mongol pride and values.

“And so, it is with this national character in mind, with the knowledge that to be Mongol is to be undaunted, endlessly brave in the face of grave threat, to persevere despite all condition and chances, that I declare Mongolia to be a beacon of liberty upon the world we live in. Just as your forefathers chased the endless steppes, we shall ride towards our future, together! I commit Mongolia to Freedom!”

As the crowd on the screen deafens the chamber in cheers, the Sub’s Observation Deck is silenced in surprise. Freedom, huh? Then, lonely whoops from the side of the room, as two of the odd ‘Freedom Buddies’ aboard, Abraham Lincoln and Srongtsan Gampo, celebrate a new member to their exclusive club, met only with eye rolls around them.

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Mongolia has achieved a seasonal first in taking the path of Freedom! I sure hope they enjoy those two free tenets, because it’s obviously not otherwise the best suited ideology for the CBR, but hey, Mongolia’s not exactly a forefront contender at this point anyway (and this shot especially highlights how hopelessly squeezed in between greater powers they are). That being said, it will deplete their happiness (52 as of last episode) a fair bit and more unnervingly, provide a very strong justification for any of their autocratic neighbours to take a stab at invasion, so yeah, enjoy liberty while you can!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of It All Falls Down

8: It All Falls Down

Certainly plenty of big moves have been made in South America of late, and I don’t see that stopping quite yet, as Tiwanaku loses it’s capital just 3 slides in! Now, I’m saving the F’s for now, as between the line infantry and the siege unit nearby I’m pretty sure one flip is in stock, but to be clear, Tiwanaku will almost certainly be eliminated in the next few turns, if they aren’t already. Impressive work for an open-borders invasion, albeit on a suitably weak target. Meanwhile, Mexico’s forces are having no issue streaming southwards still, suggesting we may get a double-helping of South American F’s this week.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Piedmont Campaign

9: The Piedmont Campaign

With the power of air power, Rome managed to bring down the defences of Nancy and sneak in a cavalry unit to take the city, a victory they’ve clearly been desiring for a long while and their entrance into the French arena. That is, assuming England is truly worn down, as they do still have a battery of artillery in the vicinity, somehow having negotiated open borders with their conqueror the Faroes. Trajan would do well to transfer more troops to their new territory, lest it slip from their grasp.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Uralic Uncouthness

10: Uralic Uncouthness

Be prepared to see plenty of shots of this conflict for the heart of Eurasia, and arguably with it essential control of the expansion routes needed for overall victory this season. Eat your heart out, Mackinder! Now, it must be said that this shot presents a more even match-up than some last episode, with Kazan having amassed a considerable resistance force around Taraz and Alatyr, and clearly could take Elista with only a bit of focus. That being said, the air force advantage cannot be understated, with Shymkent about to flip once more and the northern Kazan domains a tad under-defended if bombing runs start up there. Watch this space.

11: Inefficienc

Speaking of major conflicts we can expect to return to over and over this episode, assuming no peace, the Bora-Bora-Wahgi Pacific flipfest carries on, and boy is this a dismal affair. Wahgi has achieved a rare feat of finding a unit that can actually take cities, so their dishonorable curbstomp as an essentially undisputed top tier civ can continue, all while Bora-Bora is desperately trying to gather together the hammers in these food-rich land-poor cities to build back a navy. Which flaw will win/lose out in the end?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Survival, the Greatest Dishonor

12: Survival, the Greatest Dishonor

Well then, maybe we can pull the plug on getting two eliminations out of the Andes today, as his magnanimous highness Grand Prince Maximillian has granted Moreno some piteous mercy (and carefully avoided an elimination penalty, hmmmm) with a final city peace. Ecuador carries on in a city they only recently nabbed off of Tiwanaku, while Mexico has a window now to annex and carpet up these new lands in their South, which judging by New Hollands advanced forces next door, they might need at any point. Speaking of Tiwanaku, guess who's briefly still alive?! They may have one more flip in them, assuming New Holland instantly retake their capital, but every flip loses them a melee unit they’ll never recover, so again, prime your F’s.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Bearded Buccaneer Barbarity

13: Bearded Buccaneer Barbarity

As if the loss of literally every coastal possession they’ve ever had wasn’t enough, now the more rural West coast of Vijayanagara’s lands are under a particularly viscous raiding and blockade campaign, masterminded by a rogue whose fallen in and out of the law too often to count, occasionally a governor of Singapore’s frontier islands, occasionally a true pirate. In either case Captain Blackbeard, or Edward Teach as his maybe-true name is, is surely one of many Singaporean icons being added to the nightmares of Krishnadevaraya, alongside the slowly growing inland forces of the invader landing on the subcontinent. Still a ways off having enough to actually assault the capital, but worrying.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Fire Coming out of Otemanu’s Head

14: Fire Coming out of Otemanu’s Head

Fallin' out of aeroplanes and hidin' out in holes,

Waitin' for the sunset to come, Borans’ goin' home.

Jump out from behind them and shoot them in the head.

Now everybody dancing the dance of the dead,

The dance of the dead, the dance of the dead…

Huh? Sorry, something came over me there. Indeed, it would seem the Wahgi warfront, although slow at moving the line of occupation, is at least sending forth recon and sabotage paratrooper units as far as the capital of Nunu’e, disabling it’s Manufacturies and only committing a few war crimes (reminder, at the beginning of Ep 33 this city had 34 population).

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Tears of Silver

15: Tears of Silver

L: Some leaders have been camping out on the Observation Deck since the latest assaults started, laptops and update sheets across every table, in the knowledge that this is almost certainly it for one of the cherished players upon this board. If there’s any event that approaches the status of sacred on the sub then eliminations, and with then the arrival of a new member of the sub, are it.

The back and forth fighting for control of those essential districts of the capital were a bloody and arguably needless affair in the eyes of most Tiwanaku citizens, but their immortal leader Huyustus was adamant, as every eliminated leader tends to be at their ‘end’, that the had to be at their palace. “I don’t quite understand why these fools are so grim about it” murmurs the callous Daji from a luxurious chaise, “I just made sure to finish the wine cellar off before those Goguryeo brutes broke in…”. Lying down with her head in Daji’s lap, Bathory chuckles and adds, “Oh, same here… well, not quite wine for me, but close enough.”

The room is filled with such quiet whispers and in-jokes and banter as the central screen provides panoramic shots of urban combat and various units in retreat or advance, up until it transitions to the High Palace of the city, with one figure and his bodyguards center stage in the spy camera’s view. That shuts the room up. Huyustus, ‘President’ of Tiwanaku, makes his final speech, orders relayed to key advisors to ensure peace in defeat, and instructions to his bodyguard to do as they wish and leave him be. The boom of artillery near the complex grows with each minute, and eventually, Huyustus is left alone in the chamber. The Observers watch as he silently takes off his royal crown, plopping it down on his stately desk, and the defeated man sighs. In the wartorn darkness of his state room, a glow begins to spread around him, particles flaring, just as some New Dutch platoon begin breaking down the door. By the time they arrive in, they find what appears to them as the corpse of their enemy, waiting to be found by his desk.

The Observation Deck spectators turn their head to the main entrance of the chamber, as Captain Nebechunezar himself is handed a brown envelope. Taking the paper inside out, he announces “Huyustus teleportation was, as ever, a complete success. Awaiting induction to the Sub in the infirmary.” The mood swings. Cheers ring out, bets are exchanged, and the cycle of the Cylinder carries ever on.

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Now that’s a sad sight, isn’t it? We’ll never quite know if Huyustus had another flip in him, as with the capture of the city of Tiwanaku comes an immediate peace treaty, presumably expelling what units were alive to the winds. A two pop city with two CBR-useless religious wonders is not exactly a grand prize in itself, truth be told, but it’s a new elimination and capital count for New Holland, plus a potential staging post or early distraction in any upcoming war with Bora-Bora, so hey, hardly an unworthy gain.

I suppose now’s the time to reflect briefly on this seasons Giant of the Andes, Tiwanaku, a civ that for much of the early to mid game was predicted to end up far from here. With the legacy of the Inca last season, we all knew the productive potential of a strong expansionist Andes state, and from the go Huyustus seemed to be following in the footsteps of their regional predecessors, doing well to have over a dozen cities settled by episode 10 with a nicely developed core that yielded impressive production. From Ep 5-13 they sat consistently in the top 10, reaching a two-ep high of 3rd for episodes 7 and 8. It’s during this 8-episode golden age they contributed heavily to the decline of Rio Grande, of course. However, Tiwanaku would face a fascinatingly consistent downwards spiral, first spending Ep 14-19 only in the teens range, then Ep 20-24 in the 20s range, then Ep 25-27 in the 30’s, and finally Episode 28 onwards in the doldrums of the 40’s. A coalition in Episode 14 brought their first hurdle, with Ecuador, Bora Bora and New Holland independently moving against them, and although the damage was minimal, it stalled any momentum they had and started a trend of coalition wars that would chip away at them, all the while Bora Bora would advance and eventually go in for the kill. In the end all three of their key rivals played a part in their downfall: Ecuador charging in foolishly for little reward but plenty of distraction, Bora Bora grabbing the lions share, and New Holland delivering an overpowered final blow. Rest in peace, F.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Hustling Hammer

16: The Hustling Hammer

Casting the camera up to North America, we can find the poor unfortunate exiles, fated to roam the world proclaiming a government in exile until the day some random superpower decides to clean up the map. This must feel especially hard to Charles Martel ‘the Hammer’, the Frankish general and ruler who in our reality was key to securing the Frankish realms against Umayyad and internal threats, so surely feels an urge about fighting off invasions and stabilising realms in peril. Too late for his civ now, though.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Pale Lime Destiny

17: A Pale Lime Destiny

A look from the view of the East Pacific confirms that ,although Maximillians new lands conquered off Ecuador might have a small bit of a Thule Piracy problem, he is certainly looking like a valid player in that continent’s jockeying for top position now.It does leave me wondering how a Mexico-Bora-Bora war would go at this point, for sure.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of No Gods, No Masters.

18: No Gods, No Masters.

Very grave and signicificant news from the sidebar that surely has leaders running across the sub to grab reports: indeed, Bukhara’s peaced with Zheng and Thule. No! What we have here is one more rump state getting suddenly cleaned up with the advent of flight in their nearby advanced power, in this case with Latvia going to war to take out what little remains of Makhnovia! This is going to disappoint some in the audience, but it has admittedly been coming for a while against the fittingly disjointed anarchist statelet. From a land gain perspective, I must wonder if joining Selkups against Kazan might not have been a greater choice, but hey, four cities that will readily attach to your core is nothing to sniff at. Latvia doesn’t boast a grand army, I’d say, but with air power against musketmen and I spot a trebuchet, this should be an easy mop job.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Actually, there’s None to Fear BUT God (and Thomas Peters)

19: Actually, there’s None to Fear BUT God (and Thomas Peters)

Speaking of mopping up, albeit against a somewhat more persistent mess, Sierra Leones campaign against Kanem Bornu continues with the capital of Ngazargamu falling to Peter’s forces. I don’t doubt Kanem-Bornu has fight in them to take it back - after all, what else do they have? - but I think it’s fair at this point to say that their defensive UA and a bit of grit won’t save them this time. What to ponder instead is how far Peter intends to go, which with no air defences and many flatland cities is not a great query for the remaining Kanem-Bornu cities.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Burying the Bodies

20: Burying the Bodies

A panning shot of the Himalayas gives up a great view of the exemplar Thomas Peters is almost certainly hoping to emulate, as the gains of Nader Shah’s Khoshuts campaign seem so natural already, merely awaiting annexation to be full contributors to the Afsharid state. Admittedly, the Shah would do well to rebuild a carpet that could at least delay the ominous modern units Wahgi has posted or the Dzungar mountain hordes to the North, but given the open borders both have I’m going to assume that for now friendly relations have held out.

21: Nader’s Blues

Back in the Afsharid homelands, we pair up the last shot with a confirmation of the decent core Nader Shah had to begin with, and perhaps if you zoom in far enough you can spot the Shah himself slinking into a Nahavand nightclub incognito to hear an blind Blues Master boom out his hymnals and gospel truth with naught but a rickety guitar and his voice, an uncharacteristically humble guilty pleasure for a totalitarian leader perhaps. To the North, we can also note Elista remain somewhat pressured, although with the small navy in the Caspian plus an artillery perhaps the city has more sturdy defences than I first perceived.

22: Avalanche

Just two turns after our last update on this front, the Selkups boast 3 more cities to their name and have finally made a cohesive push over the troublesome Urals; Kazan’s lack of a Northern army making their cities up here easy picking after a little bombardment. Yelbuga looks set to fall next, splitting the Arctic port of Kyzylorda away from reinforcement and worsening Kazan’s chances of peacing out with any dignity left turn by turn.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of When the Fight Fades Out

23: When the Fight Fades Out

Well now, I figured Singapore’s chances of walking away with an inland city without a slog were slim, but the old mastermind Lee Kuan Yew has done it, haggling Vijayanagara out of the 26-pop metropolis of Chandragiri in a peace deal. I probably don’t need to say this, but man, this war was a pretty essential coup for Singapore, giving them avenues to grow they were steadily running out of in Southeast Asia alone. The Indian Ocean has at least 3 more mid-tiers they could target next, should they desire to double down on this strategy. On the other hand, send your condolences to the latest member of the city-state club, likely doomed to hang around waiting for death now, an unfortunate fate for a pretty cool South Indian civ.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Creatures called Cartographers

24: The Creatures called Cartographers

L: “Hit the decks, a Cartographer is coming up!” shouts out Vaclav Havel as he runs into the Observation Deck only to run out again. Within seconds, a flurry of activity breaks out, some leaders making a similar dash for the exit, some hiding in the AV rooms, and a few brave or curious souls taking deliberate seating positions where they can peek at what’s coming while avoiding eye contact. “What god would permit such beings to persist, eh?” whispers Lenin from one such corner, with his neighbour Sejong responding “I’ve calculated they must be some variety of Babylonian homunculus, formed with the one purpose of mapmaking in mind, all other human grace denied…”

Whatever whispers there were hush as a cloaked figure enters the chamber, a walking collection of monstrous elements wrapped up in Igor-esque rags and tunics: Hunchbacked, palid-skinned verging on green, smelling of grease and muck (and dripping something on the floor with much the same composition). Their eyes are near shut, an existence kept in the darkest, lightless bowels of the Sub leaving them near-blind and stilted in every way, their whole existence devoted to the dark cartographic arts. Indeed, the shambling figure hobbles onto the Observation Deck, muttering and grimly chuckling nonsense to itself, with a pristine set of tube-boxes under it’s arms, which it carefully opens and places the contents onto the central study table. Such vulgarity creating such art, what an irony. The Cartographer jerks it’s head left and right, catching a few disturbed stares with it’s own awful gaze back. As it turns back, it booms out with a strained voice like rocks grating against each other, yet also with the dread of a snakes hiss: “We’sssss only livessssss to sssssservessss you, sssssssires!”. Then, like that, it retreats out of the Chamber, back to the maintenance hatch to it’s small tribe of mapmakers in the depths of the lower hull. Various leaders steadily crowd back in, gathering around the table. ‘Such art from such a monster… is it worth it?’ goes through the heads of everyone as they gaze in awe at this decades map.

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Map time! Yep, all looks right in my eyes. Afsharids, Mexico and Singapore are all looking a good deal more impressive than the last times this rolled around, I’ll say.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Exhilarating Exclusive Economic Zones!

25: Exhilarating Exclusive Economic Zones!

Oh boy, a two-parter! This map allows us to see coastal domain as equally as land, which certainly blobs out a few major players. Shoutout to Wahgi’s locked control of the West Pacific and Faroes, well, everything here.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Humble Little Annihilation Spheres

26: Humble Little Annihilation Spheres

Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I believe this is in fact our first sighting in the game of nuclear weaponry in the actual field, inside a Wahgi city only a short hop from their Bora Bora frontline. Now, before folks get excited, it’s worth reminding oneself of the AI logic around launching nukes, which fellow PR Thy graciously informed some of us of by reading into the game’s DLL files. In short, the AI will only fire nukes if it's already launching nukes; it's being nuked; or if it's losing badly enough in a war (determined against it’s usenuke internal bias). This feels corroborated by CBR history with the first launches typically being unusual civs like the Maori, on the verge of losing their capital, not the science powerhouses. As such, I’d be very surprised if Wahgi makes the first nuke of the game here, but who knows what quirks the AI might engage in?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of An Offering to the Poblometrics Gods

27: An Offering to the Poblometrics Gods

What a shock, Kanem-Bornu is valiantly fighting to the last, somehow holding onto Yao and retaking their capital for good measure. There’s a reason these guys were Poblometrics (grit, heart, clutch, momentum and wanting it more) champs for so long, and I think they may end up taking that status to their graves. Idriss does at least have a neat carpet around Minya, one that perhaps should be moving west to counter Sierra’s wider front, but man, never doubt air power.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of 20 Turns in Mariupol

28: 20 Turns in Mariupol

The first blow in the inevitable fall of the anarchist state has been made as Mariupol is taken, which is hardly surprising when you consider it had 4 tiles and was the closest city to the Latvian core. Maybe a flip is in store, but truthfully I doubt the capabilities of a pikeman force at turn 433.

29: Lonely Deccan

Here we get a good shot of the lay of the land in India following the peace deal, and with it confirmation that Chandragiri came with some great land: connecting up to Mehrgarh and containing 3 citadels. Perhaps even better for Mr Yew is the view northwards, as it seems the Afsharids are certainly far from carpeted right now, although we should know by now that they can do plenty with planes and precision alone, so some more Singaporean troops up here would be far from remiss. Oh, and of course, the border situation here does seem to leave Vijayanagara even more isolated than potentially expected, I predict we may be waiting a while for Singapore to take them out fully as no one else has a great angle to do so.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Reaper of the Andes

30: The Reaper of the Andes

Oh, you thought sleepy old Maurits was going to be happy with the ruins of Tiwanaku as a trophy alone. Did I truly think we were out of luck to get 2 South American eliminations? Clearly there’s a case of foolishness about, because both are most likely going to be proved wrong quickly as New Holland declares a war of elimination on Ecuador. Given the belligerent already has artillery stationed next to the final holdout of Pariti, plus the Dutch boasting modern Infantry, I foresee this taking about as long, if even less, than the conquest of Tiwanaku. Hope your F isn’t worn out yet.

Nivkh’s here too.

31: Факс

Yelbuga falls as expected, and although Kazan is moving a few decent units towards Archa, I can’t shake the feeling this whole half of Kazan is forfeit at this point. The amount of Makhnovian units hiding from the action in their homelands can’t be helping Kazan’s logistics, to be fair.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Guns of Nancy

32: The Guns of Nancy

Now this was a surprise to me, I must say, and while on one hand you could argue it more reflects badly on Rome, I’d like to focus instead on what it says about Henry’s classic Poblometrics persistence. Navigating one of his few remaining melee units through Faroes land and keeping up the pressure on Nancy with artillery, he has, for now, reclaimed Nancy! Needless to say, this won’t last, but you can’t fault a civ on the rocks for making cool moves.

Speaking of civs on the rocks, surprised to see Ecuador declare war on Saba-D’mt, I feel like you have enough on your plate, buddy…

CBR In-Game Screenshot of If Saba’s Away, the Pearl will Play…

33: If Saba’s Away, the Pearl will Play…

L: “This is stupid.”

“What are you talking about still, this is a great move!”

“Are you joking? Have you forgotten how bad Abu Bakr is at all this?”

“What has he done wrong lately? You’re just stuck in the past, amigo.”

Changamire Dombo and Carlos III have been going back and forth on this for about a half hour, ever since the news came in of Mogadishu’s quite audacious declaration of war on Saba-D’mt; the former having known Abu Bakr at his worst and Saba at their best and thus seeing this as an idiotic move, while Carlos see’s it as a savvy backstab on an overrated civ already burdened in the North. With this ongoing, former queen Mdluli of Eswatini happened to walk past, only to get blocked by Carlos' hand. “Ah, senorita, what do you think of this? You had dealings with both much later, si?”

The Queen looked at both debaters, then at the screens showing the starting naval battles off Africa’s coast. “Mogadishu and Saba, huh? Well…” she cooly replied “...frankly I hope both the bastards kill each other.”

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Ah, well that better explains Moreno joining in at least, haha. Yes, another war that’s been waiting to spark off for hundreds of turns has commenced as, in what may be a surprise for viewers in the past, it is Mogadishu who aggresses on Saba-D’mt! Once upon a time this war was seen as a Sword of Damocles for Abu Bakr’s existence, but with Saba at a low the tables have perhaps turned, with at the very least Hluti and Malkerns, and maybe Qarnawu too, in the firing line. I’m fairly skeptical about Mogadishu's inland capabilities to be frank, but after centuries of maritime chaos Mogadishu has done well to unite the East Africa coast at last, with this as a pivotal final step, so it makes some sense. That being said, Saba have a habit of sporadically skyrocketing in competence and stats, so they should not be taken lightly in any case.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of No Continent for Small Civs

34: No Continent for Small Civs

Well, there’s the power of modern top civs over rumps for you, as within the span of a single turn Hew Holland has battered poor Pariti to near-black, between the three artillery they have stationed and, given they were researching Radar at the end of the last episode, potentially the second usage of modern bombers on the Cylinder after Wahgi. I believe all the closest melee units they have are two turns away at most, but once they’re at the city gates I expect it’ll all be over.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Worth of War

35: The Worth of War

Potentially spurred by Mogadishu’s invasion, Saba has dropped the conflict with Pontus and surrendered the Red Sea base of Damietta at last. Probably a wise move in the circumstances, Makeda is especially going to want their cities to stop going into resistance due to Pontus’s UA, but like, it’s still a fairly embarrassing capitulation from a civ once considered the foremost contender on their continent.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Namu Amida Butsu

36: Namu Amida Butsu

Ah, Goguryeo and Ikko Ikki, what a pair. I can’t think of two civs that have ever felt so united in CBR history, with their mutual identity as Jodo Shinshu really coming to the forefront. Once more, they’ve decided to merge their foreign policy and declare war on Ecuador as a pair, which I imagine only bolsters the AI’s view of their alliance. It’s just funny how clearly both civs here have lost from this arrangement: Goguryeo’s naval logistics are so clearly hampered by this annoying brown wall across their Eastern borders which would be so easy for them to take; and although the moment is long past, Ikko Ikki absolutely needed to backstab Goguryeo somewhere in the early mid-game to unify Japan and remain a true regional contender. A gut feeling of mine is that this alliance might have to end in Total War tragedy…

CBR In-Game Screenshot of An Excessive Abundance of Unfortunate Sons

37: An Excessive Abundance of Unfortunate Sons

Sorry, this is just silly. I’ll be open, I’ve been a Bora-Bora pessimist for a while, especially when this war started, dropping them to 22nd in my PR rankings after that first episode. I don’t think my logic was particularly faulty either, Bora-Bora’s production is simply clowned upon by Wahgi’s, even before you bring in the matter of technological advantages. Yes, Puni has put up a dogged fight, but like a glacier slowly scraping away the earth to form valleys in the ice age, Wahgi can - and has - just scraped away Bora’s existing troops. Just look at the numbers in this slide alone! But… goddamnit Wahgi loves helicopters, a unit this game doesn’t allow to take cities. Even beyond that the most common units after them seem to be subs and air carriers now. Now, they do have melee troops, an infantry that has sat two tiles from Fare or Pachacamac for years now, and embarked tanks, and yada yada. They should have at least 3 more cities at this point, no doubt.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Ideologies don’t die, but ideologues do.

38: Ideologies don’t die, but ideologues do.

The long-bruised Maknovian capital of Huliapole has fallen, without even much of a chance for flips, the panicked organisation of the non-state state left with two pretty dismal options to flee to: Kassa, which already has units that can take the city on it’s immediate outskirts, or Alexandrovsk, already bombed into next to no health. Nestor has decided upon Kassa for now, the site of one of his few true victories in this game, but somehow I doubt that morale boosting trivia will be enough to overcome Latvia’s strength. One more capital down!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of No Savior Archangels Here

39: No Savior Archangels Here

Just a hop to the northeast, another dire scene is found as the newly exclaved arctic-port of Kyzylorda will probably not be an exclave for much longer! The writing on the wall is not good for Kazan anywhere, it seems.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Link Shall be Made!

40: The Link Shall be Made!

The first blows of the war for East Africa ring out as the island communities of Hluti are shelled by cruisers and raided by privateers. I suppose there’s a chance Saba’s fleet and ranged units could somehow wear down the pale-green armada and prevent a city capture, which would be a worst-case embarrassment for Mogadishu, but I’m leaning pretty strongly towards Hluti getting taken in 2-3 turns. The questions are if Abu Bakr will have the sense to target Malkerns after that; and how Saba will respond inland, especially now they don’t have Pontus on her backside to deal with. I must say, it’s neat seeing a war without planes again, huh?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Prayers of a Granaderos

41: Prayers of a Granaderos

L: A lot can affect the mood on the Observation Deck as elimination approaches a competitor: frustrations and smugness when wagers approach a judgement point; disappointment when a leader has emotionally invested in another only to see them flop; jubilation from some when indirect revenge of some form is about to be fulfilled; tension and morbidness if the war of elimination comes with more destruction and bloodshed; etc.

What is certainly true to say is that the mood on Deck as Moreno met his end was hardly of the same weight as when it’s neighbour, Tiwanaku, met their final demise. Perhaps it’s the lower expectations, perhaps it’s Huyustus being in the room cheering on Ecuador’s fall; perhaps it’s the relative lack of prolonged urban combat as the final Granaderos battalion made a retreat from the city and New Holland’s forces rolled in. Of course, there was drama to be found: Moreno’s last silent prayer with his small band of loyalists was an especially dramatic image. As ever, Moreno would suddenly declare his ‘need’ to ride back to his capital alone, and as far as his people knew he’d be found dead in the streets back, presumably found and killed in some heroic skirmish. A few weeks later, the Observation Deck would have another regular.

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That’s another F in chat for Ecuador, my dear viewers! I suppose they can pride themselves for outlasting Tiwanaku and coming second out of all the South American civs (yes, New Hollands the only civ left with a South American TSL), but I do fear Ecuador's legacy over time is not going to be the rosiest. Personally, I quite liked Moreno’s civ! I found their yield-boosting UA a great well-rounded concept, thought their empire in the northwest of the continent felt compact but dense, and admired their moments of pluck in my eyes. That being said, I know the more common consensus is probably that Ecuador was more than anything yet another sleepy, mediocre civ consigned to the middle-tier at most. An overview of Ecuador’s episode rankings find that Moreno did manage to scratch into the top half on a number of occasions - reaching a peak of 23rd twice on episodes 10 and 14 - but broadly languished around the upper end of the lower half, a common spot for these ‘sleepy mid-tier’ civs. When wars were declared by Moreno, they unfortunately trended towards either total failure, like his earlier wars against Mexico’s colonies, or made far too small token gains, like his contribution to the Tiwanaku war that gained him his final stronghold. Altogether, rank 42nd is a slight disappointment from Part 0 expectations that fits Ecuador pretty well. F.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Not exactly Mare Nostrum

42: Not exactly Mare Nostrum

After Englands briefly successful reconquest of Nancy, the pendulum has swung back a fair bit more firmly as Rome conquers it again, this time having cleared out English ranged forces and with some reinforcement. Call me a pessimist but I think that’s it for this war, securing Rome a lovely bit of sunny Southern France to vacation in, as if Italy wasn’t nice enough for them.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Wails of the White Sea

43: Wails of the White Sea

Taraz and Kyzylorda fall to Selkup might, the latter capture leaving only a hopeless blockade of Kazan’s dwindling navy left to make a last stand in the desolate icy waters around the city. Brrrrrrrr…

More of a genuine worry for Kazan is that with Kyzylorda gone, the Selkup can reground on one front again, presumably Cheboksary. To Moxammadmin’s credit, it seems they’ve recently picked up Combustion for landships, a neat advantage over Selkup cavalry, but that alone is simply not going to overcome the advantage of a civ with air power over one without.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Behind the Tyrant’s Shoulder

44: Behind the Tyrant’s Shoulder

L: To those on the Cylinder, the ghosts of leaders past seem utterly real still, with something about Changamire Dombo in particular inspiring continual terror indeed. Our well-traveled correspondent Ishtar says as much in her latest report, adding the proud but paranoid Nader Shah to the list of leaders who think they hear Shona whispers in the dead of night, who’s discretely asked his ministers to check for reports of wandering immortals in his lands. Anything to stop the sense there’s a ghost on his shoulder, always watching, waiting to cast his damned soul to hell…

From a couch on the Observation Deck, Changamire Dombo flicks a popcorn into his mouth while listening to Ishtar’s latest information broadcast. “Lol,” he states, “Lmao even.”

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Not too much to see here, just another somewhat inane bit of espionage intel and a shot of the slightly undercarpeted Afsharid Empire, but maybe that’s just a consequence of its size.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of True Freedom Arriving in 3, 2…

45: True Freedom Arriving in 3, 2…

Both of Makhno’s cities are on the brink of capture, with Kassa in particular devoid of defenders around it to even permit a flip. Godspeed, you idealists.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Battle of Bornu

46: The Battle of Bornu

In an uncharacteristically inept move, Kanem-Bornu seem to not be mobilising their reserves to the Bornu front even as the city looks set to fall. Come on folks, that’s half your namesake there, and it’s not like fighting on the flatlands of Minya is going to be any better than fighting in the flatlands around Bornu!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Ecstasy of Resistance

47: The Ecstasy of Resistance

L: In the plush Observation Deck AV room, Enrico Dondalo is engaging in one of his favourite activities, perusing the latest musical delights on the Cylinder, looking out for releases he can nominate forward for the ‘Greats’ musical committee. It’s fair to say after an afternoon of Wahgi early rock mediocrity and derivative Kongolese classical compositions, he was somewhat underprepared for the scores of Ennio Morricone, imbued with not only the dramatic needs of the media projects he’s signed onto, but the horror of modern warfare and the glory of national struggle as his Kazan homeland faces an awe-generating ruination.

A poke from behind draws the Venetian out of this sweeping musical dreamworld, greeted by the unmistakable American accent of FDR, one of his better friends about the Sub. “You lost there, old sport?” the American spouts with a amiable chuckle, only to find the old man gesturing for him to put on the headphones. “You try this, amico. Something tells me it’ll delight your national tastes as much as mine, for some reason…”

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Personally, I can think of few better people I’d want composing a last stand battle scene score than Morricone, haha. Right now Kazan has Taraz and looks on the verge of grabbing Elista with a grand artillery battery within their defensive line, which would do well to destroy a Sekup airbase. That being said, Taraz will certainly flip once more, and the prospects here remains quite awful for Mox (no relation to any animated characters) overall.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Death by Endless Whirring Noise

48: Death by Endless Whirring Noise

Ah, a slight more Bora shifted shot of the same neverending Wahgi helicopter battlelines, what a twist! I mean, what to say I haven’t already: Bora-Bora looks dreadfully empty; Wahgi should be winning but are kinda awful at this, how are Fare and Pachacamac still not bloody taken, etc etc.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Many Escapes of Nestor Makhno

49: The Many Escapes of Nestor Makhno

Well well well, for the briefest time there we had an elimination as Kassa and Alexandrovsk both fell, but Makhno somehow rallied his anarchist vanguard knights (a fun image to try and explain) to perform a heroic recapture of the Eastern city, having fled there in his classic feminine disguise (a real thing IRL) as Kassa’s fall became clear. It’s certainly a motley collection of forces over there, and I’m excited to see how long he’ll last out.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Silver Linings (No Playbook)

50: Silver Linings (No Playbook)

Woah, are Kazan in actual fact WINNING this war!?!?

No. No they are not. But, they have at least struck a smart blow at last, even if the Selkup Caspian fleet might even grab it back. Every plane destroyed is a good win right now, and hey, depending on when these two peace out Kazan might even walk away with Elista in their new core (not quite enough to make up for losing half their lands, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers).

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Mog-Adishu Moment

51: A Mog-Adishu Moment

With even more of a convincing win at sea than I expected, Mogadishu has firmly taken Hluti and seemingly vaporised Saba’s east coast fleet, so congrats are due! In my view, Malkerns looks like easy pickings with just a little focus now, then Qarnawu would be ideal with the full focus of an undistracted navy. On land, less has happened so far by the looks, but that’s hardly ever been Mogadishu’s priority, has it?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Intermission Time, Perchance?

52: Intermission Time, Perchance?

And we end this volume of the CBRX4 wit- Huh? What do you mean we’re only halfway done, with everything that’s happened already so far? Well well then, if folks want a fitting rest spot, or to grab a drink or something, here’s your reminder.

Fittingly, we’ve hit this median point on a fairly unremarkable sight we’ve seen a few times before of Iberia’s modern divide: The East dominated by Sierra Leone; the West and North more shakily held by England; and of course, the rump city-state of Toledo sat in the centre.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Futile Final Guard

53: A Futile Final Guard

L: A semi-serious “Boooooooo!” is the general reaction of the spread out Observers when the news comes in of Siam’s war declaration by Wahgi. “Someone get the teleporter ready!” some anonymous voice mocks from the back, to general amusement.

Two figures nearer the front stand up, a tad red-faced, Sejong and Raoni Metuktire. “Why do you always jeer at a leader who's simply more enlightened and advanced than the rest?!” accuses the Amazonian leader, to Sejongs nodding and hisses from across the chamber. “Bolim seems a great leader, who’s people have made astounding scientific strives under his watch. We should be cheering for him!” Sejong adds.

“Get a room, science turtle dweebs!” cries back Bumin Qaghan, ever the jock, from back across the room. Truly, here’s a divide that will never escape the Observation Deck.

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This is turning into a real Spring Cleaning of an episode, huh. Siam may have their Royal Guards lined up all pretty, but with Wahgi of all civs coming back in to finish the job I think a swift removal from the game is in store now. I’d say I’m surprised Wahgi is committing to this while in a major war, but I guess Bolim truly is as disinterested in that conflict as his troops. Oh, and Dzungars are there too.

54: Dull Threat

Confirmation here that at least one atomic weapon is ready to go on the battlefield, just a short plane ride away from Nunu’e. Wahgi probably won’t use it, for reasons mentioned earlier… but who knows…

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Kanem they go on? (See I can do light titles also, I just like my drama)

55: Kanem they go on? (See I can do light titles also, I just like my drama)

L: New Years, always a delight. When your endless immortal existence revolves so much around data organisation and geopolitical analysis on the largest scale imaginable, it turns out the beginning and ending of measurable periods like centuries, decades or years becomes near sacracant. The Observation Deck is uniquely converted into a feast hall, drawing in even the less game-inclined leaders of CBR’s past. As the main course winds down, the LED clocks on the screens edging closer and closer to 2020’s start, the Sub Officer corps give each other looks of certainty and assurance, Co-Executive Officers al-Rahman, Lawtiliwadlin; Gusmao and of course Pedro all giving a final go-ahead sign to Captain Nebby, who stands up to attention before the chamber.

“Eternal Leaders, all grand and wise, New Years is a time to reflect, to rerun our data and reword our predictions. For many years now, as the march of progress marches ever faster in this Cylinder, we’ve used New Years as a time to delineate our information delineation too… and we still will, but in a different way!”. The room waits in anticipation, and the Captain continues, “The World spins ever faster, and we simply cannot stuff so much analysis into one folder going forward. As such, as of 2020, we will begin organising by half-years, from January 1st and from July 1st! Thus begins our 440th turning over of data collection! Love live the Battle Royale!”

A chorus rings out, for once on this sub united: “Long live the Battle Royale!”

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Yes, you can spot in the top-right that the game has advanced to the point where we get January and July turns, a meaningless but spiritually meaningful shift in my view. Anyway, the fall of Bornu and bombing of Nkongsamba by Sierra Leone is the actual big news here, as this war begins exuding some real Afsharid-Khoshut energy. Which will come first, peace or elimination?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Black Flag Flutters Still

56: The Black Flag Flutters Still

Three notable city status’s from this shot: the green of the Selkups marking Elista again; the health bar of Cheboksary diving into red as the invaders surround it with viable melee units; and of course, Alexandrovsk still flying the black flag of anarchy. I doubt it starved from 2 to 1, so I think this is yet another flip, but I may be wrong there. In any case, this is some real big heart, big clutch energy from Makhno in his final turns, respect.

57: Back to Black

Yowch, one turn and Hai Phong is already depleted of health fully! That was so fast and directed, Wahgi hasn’t even had a chance to deplete the actual Siamese army yet, although with one helicopter at the city limits and a paratrooper just behind it’s capture is foretold, to be clear. Meanwhile, clearly the international community is one Wahgi’s side, because Mongolia agreeing to peace with Siam was so reviled that three civs declared war against them just for that! In seriousness, none of these matter, but it’s worth checking if a coalition forms and a neighbor joins, especially with Mongolia’s new ideological gap.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Gwanggaeto’s Envy

58: Gwanggaeto’s Envy

I mean, I’d be jealous of how cool Bukhara is compared to my civ too, Gwanggaeto, but you don’t have to plot a war based on that!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of If ye love Qarmatians…

59: If ye love Qarmatians…

Arabia shot for whoever has to talk about Qarmatians next PR, wooo! Yep, that sure is how they’ve looked for the past few hundreds of turns. Remember that time they woke up once? I don’t think al-Jannabi does. But hey, if they prefer to spend their days listening to Thomas Tallis’s Renaissance choral music, who am I to judge?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of After Everything, Nature Persists

60: After Everything, Nature Persists

Man, Sierra Leone looks significantly more cohesive with Meknes and the Gibraltar Strait route it guarantees, don’t they? A touch empty here, but then again, they have good reason to be elsewhere right now. Meanwhile, given their position and loss of status, the Visigoths turning to beauty and naturalism with talent such as Maruyama Okyo’s realistic depictions of serene nature, blending traditional Japanese styles with influences from the West. If you’re not going to win this game (a bold guess of mine about Leovigild), why not sick back and contemplate the world instead?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Generalissimo’s Fist

61: The Generalissimo’s Fist

Well, I think it’s probably safe to call it there, given Makhnovia is now battling without a city with five Renaissance and Medieval units. Makhnovia, I think it’s fair to say, simply never quite got it together, if that makes sense. Trust me, I’m doing my best to not make any shallow anarchism jokes here. Sadly to say for Makhno, he is one of those unfortunate souls who came into the game with decently high expectations and never once was able to meet them, being predicted for 19th in Part 0, hitting a low of 58th in episode 3 during those essential early-game turns, and simply never getting a particular groove back after that. You want to know the most damning proof of that? Their best PR rank was literally the last episode. 37th. Ooof.

The odd thing is, they’ve remind broadly likable through all this, in my eyes and I sense in the eyes of most here. They received a great lore OC series, they poll well, and I suspect they’ll get the most mourning of any elimination this episode. Maybe that’s partly the real life coolness of Nestor Makhno rubbing off a bit, but I do think they played with some amount of heart throughout the game too, whatever that actually means. Sure, they undersettled and only had like 1.5 good wars (not counting this final quite noble resistance), but they did their best and brought a lot of flavour to X4, which is all you can want from a no-hope civ. F indeed!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Mixed Messages

62: Mixed Messages

Well, here’s the good news for Mogadishu: they are in fact taking the sensible route of targeting Malkerns well, and will almost certainly take it with a few turns; and as a bonus are actually also doing well with Qarnawu already. So what’s the bad news? Well, call me paranoid but I can’t help but notice a drastic increase in Saba’s land forces from before, and a drastic decrease in what little Mogadishu had. Historically, wars where one side is almost entirely land-based and the other is almost entirely navy-based trend towards bad ends for the naval civs, as land is just more dynamic and key. A swift capture of these cities and a peace deal would be in the trade civs best interests.

63: THE BLACK FLAG FLUTTERS STILL!

L: Seretse Khama’s day started as ever: fumbling out of bed in a cramped but cozy bunkroom, daily exercises, cleansing, heading to the canteen, breakfast and chatter, etc. Around mid-afternoon he was headed for the library, when he happened to pass by the entrance to the Observation Deck, and noted an unusually large crowd stood in awe throughout the room. Popping his head in he queries “What am I missing here?”. Within seconds the answer was answered for him.

Just a week ago he had witnessed the capture of Alexandrovsk with many others, presumed to be the final chapter in the story of Nestor Makhno. He had debated the game trends, seen the data, joked about the mess the map was, all the typical motions of an expected elimination. Sure, Makhno hadn’t been teleported out yet, but that was fairly common in cases where the theoretical chance of a recapture existed. But no one thought it was possible, not when the anarchists were fighting with medieval weaponry and passion alone. But lo and behold, there flew the black flag over the largely destroyed ruins of Alexandrovsk City Hall, the Latvian emblem kicked into the dust. “How?!” was the only natural response, and Khama would be far from the last to exclaim that today.

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Well then, screw me and my obituary for assuming Makhno wouldn’t save himself with an antiquated knightley charge again! This is some wonderful end of days heroics, and it looks like the slick ideologues even managed to upgrade one pikeman to a lancer now! Not gonna remove my obituary, as I’m pretty sure it still all applies, just a tad, you know, early.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Most Embarrassing Victor in CBR History

64: The Most Embarrassing Victor in CBR History

From such lofty heroics to such dismal tactics. I don’t think that slide title is an understatement. I cannot think of a situation where a civ has both clearly won a war as hard as Wahgi has here, and yet performed so dismally embarrassing and incompetent in the performance of said war. Maybe Brandenburg ‘winning’ against Yugoslavia? The whole concept is oxymoronic. And yet, here we are, Wahgi recapturing Tiva once more, with a helicopter carpet still lingering uselessly around the Southern front, and with Wahgi perhaps having less air forces helping them than before (are they not replenishing losses?). I do apologise to any Wahgi fans out there, but man, you try marketing this in a heroic way!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Freedom’s Grace

65: Freedom’s Grace

Back in the free lands of Mongolia, presumably on edge after so many bizarre war declarations, what better music is there to rock out to in celebration of liberty than, uh, the melancholic falsettos of Jeff Buckley? Sure, let’s go with that.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Sword of Damacles was hanging over Tyr’s head…

66: The Sword of Damacles was hanging over Tyr’s head…

Oh, woe is Umu! Their life is a misery!

Uhem, what I mean is, this is not quite what the Nivk people will have wanted to hear, especially after their losses to the Thule. You thought the Faroes were an existential threat to England? No, this is what an existential threat to a moderately OK civ looks like, and I’d be quite shocked if Umu hasn’t ‘relocated’ to the sub by the end of this episode. That being said, I suppose this shot may not be the best show of that, as Goguryeo has not particularly chosen to start their offensive with all their units in place, including very few nearby air forces or much of anything bordering the Western Nivkh city of Miyoo Gaxan. It’s very much giving early Wahgi-Bora war vibes. Still, in a few turns I suspect we’ll see a drastic turn.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The, um, Makhnovian One?

67: The, um, Makhnovian One?

Is this gonna be it? I’d say yes, but Makhno has shown a rare degree of total persistence, raging against the dying of the light like few others have. Turns out one contributor to this may have been Turkish composer and musical theorist Ahmed Adnan Saygun, in our world a member of the ‘Turkish Five’ who helped develop the modern Turkish cultural identity in the Ataturk era and beyond, and who could certainly turn his hand to rousing national anthems in a time of crisis, I imagine.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of ‘Death to all who stand in the way of freedom for the working people’

68: ‘Death to all who stand in the way of freedom for the working people’

Well dang, I guess Saygun did his job becuase MAKHNOVIA STILL LIVES! I’m truly quite astonished by all this, maybe I shouldn’t be, maybe this is episode has just chosen to highlight a number of the dogged doomed flips that get skipped at other times, but man, I just cannot think of a better final chapter to your history you can give yourself than this.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Who needs guns when you have ‘Prestige!’

69: Who needs guns when you have ‘Prestige!’

L: Sure, some days the Observation Deck is filled with the vulgar spectacle of major war campaigns, or the excitement of new settlements or shiny advances tech movements, or simply some speculation-stoking diplomacy at least. But, most days look more like this: stagnant overviews of everyday politics, minor war movements, and cylinder society at ease. It’s during these days some Observers make a real effort to find some fun, and it’s really from this drive to fill time that the ‘Great’ committees arose. Those inclined towards various sectors independently pour through reports, cylinder media and surveillance to make the case for which mortals deserve a form of immortality in the Subs record books.

That sounds lofty, but today it mostly looks like a fairly sedentary group of leaders, maybe 20 maximum, crowding around a long table watching Wu of Han give a slideshow presentation to the ‘Great Engineering’ committee on the artistic and utilitarian merits of a recent rising star in Zheng’s architectural circles, Jules Hardouin-Mansart. In Zheng’s period of long peace, this guy has found a definite niche conceptualising and building palaces and public squares that ooze wealth and prestige while still being kept on time and budget. It’s not a hard argument for Wu to win, especially when half the committee truthfully use these as a recreational discussion club and rubber-stamp every nominee, but that’s the risk of eternal life: eternal boredom. Jules naturally made it through and another name and biography gets added to the tomes of the Sub library.

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A balanced empire Zheng is not, oh dear. With a sprawling and slowly upgrading navy, a legion of civilian units and a handful of actual soldiers I fear what would occur if certain land power neighbors were to set their sights on China. Regardless of these fears, at least Zheng is gonna have some awe inspiring urban environs as IRL First Architect of ‘Sun King’ Louis XIV Jules Hardouin-Mansart handles construction across the lands.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The most cutting-edge of Hollands

70: The most cutting-edge of Hollands

My, this shot is useful to setting expectations, eh? I must admit, I’ve been seeing New Holland’s army in the side of Tiwanaku/Ecuador shots before and fearing an imminent takeover of the continent; but it seems the carpet is simply densely collected in the northwest of their lands. Still an impressively advanced and decently sizable force to be sure, but not the death horde I envisioned. Their new war against Seneca has the potential to go somewhere, given Maurits previous naval acumen and just the sheer tech gap… but I could also see this never being brought up again. We’ll see!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of All Xdawg’s have their Day…

71: All Xdawg’s have their Day…

Kanem-Bornu-minus-Bornu update: Doesn’t look like there’s much chance of any recaptures at this juncture, and Sierra has a good siege of Nkongsamba going at this point. Funny in context of the CBR to see Peters enter a Dark Age, according to the sidebar, but to be fair, I can easily imagine his militarised mid-conquest empire not being the most pleasant place to live about now, given they were on 2 happiness at the end of last episode and thus are surely well into unhappiness now.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Does Queen Makeda have Soul Sister cred?

72: Does Queen Makeda have Soul Sister cred?

Monumentally important gospel musician and ‘the original soul sister’ Sister Rosetta Tharpe is currently gracing the worship halls, troop events and nightclubs of Adulus, experimenting with the ever evolving state of music to dip into pop and even rock in her gospel tracks. Clearly inspirations like her have been readily adopted by the nation, because this shot reveals the extent of the mobilisation achievements performed in a relatively short time, with two core battalions headed for the Mogadishu front. The war has so far felt very good for Abu Bakr, but I must say, his capital does look pretty threatened in turn here, so this war has room to backfire hard still.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Messy Continent

73: A Messy Continent

A whole flurry of notifications have come in, that really boil down to two lanes. Firstly, in what I suspect to be some religiously motivated affair, is the collective Northern European decision that Osage has forfeited it’s existence, for some nebulous reason. Rude, but pretty meaningless. More consequential is going to be the top two declarations, as Thule decides it just feels like fighting and announces it’s at war with both Seneca and Osage. Why both at the same time, when you only have an exclave that borders both? Peak Javraganag moment. My only other thought is potentially this being a defensive pact, but I doubt Seneca and Osage even like each other, right?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Discordant Quartet

74: A Discordant Quartet

North America’s flurry of war’s may leave a more confused scene, but I wouldn’t underrate the messiness that has just erupted around Saba-D’mt. I had to check, and yes, Kanem-Bornu and Sierra Leone are certainly not at peace now, and yet both have jumped to invade Saba’s backside on the same turn (religious war mod shenanigans, mayhaps?). Meanwhile, the Mogadishu war is going equally messily, with Saba’s ramped up production advantage helping them seemingly start a campaign against their enemies capital even while their naval situation remains disastrous with 2 cities firmly lost and Qarnawu still in major danger of flipping should it continue sinking in health, albeit with many land defenders around to destroy the population. If you’re rooting for Abu Bakr right now, I’d suggest crossing your fingers for a peace, because I really don’t like the look of the land forces Makeda has conjured up so quickly, no matter how dominant Mogadishu is at sea.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Piercing Damage

75: Piercing Damage

Oddly, Nkongsamba has not shifted too much healthwise yet. Has Sierra Leone actively been moving through their land to get to Saba instead, or is it just an AI choice to focus on destroying what’s left of the army rather than just going for the city? In any case, it puts rather a lot of chaos into these new wars, and may save Saba in the end.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of No Stay of Execution

76: No Stay of Execution

Damn, that’s more what you expect from a top tier now, isn’t it?! 30+ planes backing a blitz attack on Tyr with Miyoo Gaxan also being pushed towards. In case you ever doubted it, this is elimination material.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of No More Gods, No More Masters

77: No More Gods, No More Masters

L: The Battle of Alexandrovsk was one of the most gripping drama’s the Observation Deck had seen in decades, with some comprehensively monstrous urban destruction and blood spilling across the ruined city between the Latvian autocrats and the anarchist defenders. Naturally, it brought in a consistent crowd of observers and inflamed passions to an extent unseen in a long while. In his own corner of the chamber, a buzz surrounds one notable Sub denizen, Kudarat of Maguindanao, who is going through the results of his latest polling (which pretty clearly showed two civs in particular ahead). “Oi, Kudarat” a voice piped up from the crowd around him, “I couldn’t find Singapore on the poll sheet except in the ‘do you dislike’ section?”. Kudarat ignores that question.

Then, a news chime, alerting everyone to stare at the central screen. Once more, the black flag of Makhnovia lies tattered on the ground while a new pristine Latvian flag flies high; but this time, with all the Deck scrutiny, people here know that this, finally, is it. Some eyes fall upon a spy cam upon someone in Makhno’s personal vanguard, one of the last few survivors on the cities edge that still has eyes on the leader himself: bedraggled, battered, smoke-stained, but still carrying a bright-eyed, somehow almost optimistic disposition. The Deck watched as, wordlessly, Makhno simply patted the back of a fellow soldier, and jogged around a corner into the dust filled ruined city, never to be seen alive by his comrades again. A few days later, the sub enjoyed one new passenger with a lot to catch up on.

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I’m afraid I’m going to have to be blunt and spoil that yes, this is the actual, final, definitive end of Makhno’s story (at least this episode, haha). I’ll direct you to the obituary I gave earlier, albeit with more of a caveat now that their final resistance was at least an honorable way to go. F for real.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Frater thinks he’s on the team

78: Frater thinks he’s on the team

Oh, Rome’s gone to war with Saba too. Well that’s, um, something, what with their lack of borders and Romes traditional issues at projection. Guess Trajan likes to feel like he’s an actual part of the African contenders.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Selkup Squeeze

79: The Selkup Squeeze

Ah, well Singapore also joining in confirms that this and Rome is probably just part of a larger coalition effect, cascading declarations ending up with so many feeling permitted to join. Less fun, but understandable.

Anyway, the real meat of this shot is of course Kazan, who has three frontline cities including their self-titled capital essentially in the black with Selkups at the gate. To give some credit, I’ve been genuinely impressed at Kazan keeping up a decent amount of troops throughout this entire war, which has probably stopped it becoming a total rout, but if Vonya just quickly gets their cavalry in we could be looking at Kazan on a mere 3 cities, one Bolgar of which would be founded by them.

80: Cacophony

What a mess North America is; I truly await some power of actual ambition (cough cough Mexico or Yellowknives cough) to sweep through and clean things up. For the time being, Thule’s ill-judged wars are having the precise effect one could have expected: pointlessly getting the units garrisoning Pituffik attacked and destroyed. What a win. Oh, here’s one fun thing though, in declaring war with Osage alongside Seneca, Thule has allowed Seneca’s UA (giving them extra attack and flanking strength for each non-enemy civ at war with their war enemy) to fire, which is neat.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Taino’s Power(!!!) … pop

81: Taino’s Power(!!!) … pop

Ah, our mandated Taino slide, like with Qarmatians it’s always good to have one of these (as a PR, it’s nice to have one slide we can use for them and use to prod for quotes, haha). Beyond having the power pop musicality of Big Star on their side, I will note they seem to have the tech for Destroyers and are deploying it widely, an advantage they truly need if Mexico were to turn its eyes eastward in the next few episodes.

82: The Clearout

In one stroke, Goguryeo takes the first two cities on their path northwards, including the long-doomed capital of Tyr, with only a small chance of flipping if I’m reading the movement requirements right. Two more turns like this, and we will be saying goodbye to Nivkh.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Frankly Odd Mercies

83: Frankly Odd Mercies

Oh, well then, I guess Peters decided that he’d gotten enough now, as he peaces out with Kanem-Bornu netting Minya as a bonus (quite nastily, as that even ensures KB’s UA is hereafter useless). This will make the war with Saba a tad more complicated for sure, but then again it also solved the zone of control issues. Time to see how much both parties of this peace deal actually intend to attack Saba.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Unity, through it all…

84: Unity, through it all…

Only some Greats continue to pledge loyalty to the Anarchist state around the conquered city of Alexandrovsk, with the final (arguably cowardly) Makhnovian military unit being a Longswordsman escorting renowned theologian, and in our reality founder of the Baha’i faith, the Baha’u’llah; who has long preached an interpretation of his teachings synthesized with Makhnovian anarchism considering the fundamental oneness of mankind, with natural implications on equality and power structures. Perhaps out in the new world he’ll find a space to keep spreading the good word, although I wouldn’t choose Kazan right now, even if they are putting up a good defense (in fact I’d dare say the Selkups are looking increasingly thin on the ground).

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Why did Damocles leave all these swords hanging?!

85: Why did Damocles leave all these swords hanging?!

How many execution sentences does one episode need? With about 20 slides left of the episode, Nader Shah directs his pent-up anger and suspicion on one of the longest-existing rumps alive, the Kalmyks. The one question is if this is going to be such a mop-up it’ll be done by this episode's end.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Less Majesties

86: Less Majesties

Fittingly, here’s an earlier mop-up that started just this episode. Yes, I’m afraid we have to say ‘sa wat dii’ to Siam as Wahgi’s paratroopers finish the job they essentially started (if you don’t count Singapore and Khoshuts nibbles).

Siam at least managed to achieve something I’d love if every civ could do in these seasons, and were distinct. Specifically, Siam were up to around the late-mid-game the foremost cultural civ on the cylinder, paired with disproportionately high science to be a beacon of enlightenment in this grim reality. Siam started fine, if a bit slow, with a good but not exceptional amount of settles mostly across the coast of Asia, and the data supports them having a long golden age from around Episodes 6-18, during which they never left the top 25 but at the same time never entered the top 15, a fact that somehow surprises me even though it makes sense. Hell, their ranking peak of 17th in Episode 10 came with the caveat noted by the PR that ‘Despite the two massive wars with Dai Viet and the Khoshuts, Siam basically did not appear whatsoever in the last episode outside of a few corner shots - in other words, they’re probably locked in a stalemate’.

Siam had pretty great tech (until they didn’t), enough cities to have an impact, and yet simply did not play the game as they should if you want to win the CBR, and I think from an early point we could all kinda tell that, long before they dropped off. Maybe when they were the first to Acoustics in the game was a sign, or rushing to build the Sistine Chapel? At the same time, that’s why I and others liked Siam, why wouldn’t you root for the artsy nerd doing something a bit different? Near the end of Episode 19 however, Siam got coalition by Zheng, Singapore and Khoshuts, and even before the war got going they were dropped five ranks. Even though they actually gained a city in these wars, they also began dropping islands to Singapore and more notably their science lead began lagging notably, and with it their whole argument to be a contender. From there it was a series of slow drops in ranks as Siam did little, up until Singapore returned with a vengeance, then the Khoshuts for their former city, and finally a monstrous Wahgi looking to show off their shiny new paratroopers. I don’t think I need to explain the rest. Enjoy the Sub, Rama, you’ll love the media rooms. F.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Intelligence?!

87: Intelligence?!

Holy heaping hell, a report from Ishtar worth pondering? If her info’s good, then Pontus is making eyes at the frankly easy target on their border, Bavaria. Gaziura would be free land for certain, and beyond that it’d be another war of superior tech and production against a mid tier without any anti-air, and we’ve seen how that goes with Khoshuts and Kanem-Bornu alone. It would also greatly extend Pontus if successful, especially expanding their border with Latvia…

88: Priorities

Saba is clearly in a Rock n Roll progenitor era as they bring in Fats Dominos to celebrate their capture of Hamar Weyne, not the Mogadishu city I thought Makeda would go for but a sensible choice, backed up by their Red Sea fleet. I wouldn’t be shocked by a flip is all I’ll add there though. That being said, it does rather seem like Saba-D’mt is choosing to more or less ignore the great power verging on Qohaito to keep the pressure on their long-term rival, maybe also still fearing the loss of Qarnawu.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Death of Geography

89: The Death of Geography

Once upon a time it was assumed that their geography may keep them alive in spite of their weaknesses, but in an age of airpower, artillery and mobile landships that’s well out of the window. Lagan falls pretty effortlessly, although after Makhno’s display I’m never underestimating the flippable nature of conquests even with some outdated tech. Looks like Astrakhan has 8 planes about to target it, so with 49 city strength I’m not placing any risky bets on survival, haha. Next door, I’d note the fall of Elista once more, this time with the Caspian fleet Selkups had depleted of melee units, securing it for now. Seems to me like the Selkups may have the airpower to bomb Kazan into rubble, but simply lack the armies at this point to move in and get them.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Seriously, this is just lame.

90: Seriously, this is just lame.

Like, let me be clear, I do think this war is going to be long-term devastating to Bora-Bora, and that’s without knowing when a peace is coming, and how much Puni may give away in it. In fact, that even makes this lamer. But man, this conflict could have be cool in an awe-centric way, right? Instead, we’ve got… this. Fare’s fallen to Wahgi again, but at the same time, Bora has somehow sneaked a single unit through Wahgi’s useless carpet to retake Tiva, resetting progress again. How many turns until Bolim positions a melee unit this time?!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Swept like Snow

91: Swept like Snow

Ngyl’vo is the next of the Nivkh dominoes-to-destruction set to topple, leaving the subarctic civ with just it’s 3 north coast communities left. Tick tock, the clock won’t stop.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Battles and Bombs

92: Battles and Bombs

L: Te Rauparaha sat in the Observation Deck, quietly enjoying a Sunday report to himself when an alert began blaring on one of the chambers central screens. ‘New Holland Manhattan Project completed!’ declared a news report from the Cylinder brought on screen, scientists and politicians shaking hands.

Rauparaha shrugged. “Seen it before.”

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Looks like we’ve got a double-flip in Hamar Weyne, Peters starting a proper siege of Qohaito, stagnation against Qarnawu and movement towards Shangani. All in all things could somehow be getting worse for both Saba and Mogadishu the longer this lasts, so I have to imagine there’s some pining for peace starting.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Umu are you Okha?

93: Umu are you Okha?

That was quick! Okha falls next, bringing the Nivkh city count (and subsequent amount of targets Goguryeo has to split forces on) to a mere final two. Not to brag, but I always maintained Nivkh was a touch overranked given their existential threat next door, but I don’t think even I would’ve guessed it was a ‘death in <10 turns’ level situation. Might be room for a naval flip in Okha, but that’s dependent on quite a bit of focus and certainly won’t save them anyway.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Saratov, City of Surrender

94: Saratov, City of Surrender

Hooo boy, now this is a slide worth scrutinising, let’s run through it. For starters, the inevitable peace deal between Selkups and Kazan has arrived and it’s a capital-B biggie. Saratov has once again been handed away despite not truly being in peril, in what must be a psychological blow for it’s residents once more. Why don’t they want you, man? Alatyr closer to the frontlines was also ceded, ensuring Selkups yet more cross-Ural staging posts for future wars. Finally, Elista was seemingly also handed back over in another victory Vonya probably couldn’t have reclaimed otherwise. All in all, a marvelous victory for the Selkups that to my mind certifies their worth as a true contender to win the whole season, albeit with a caveat that once more their drive seemed to exceed their unit count by the end. They need to rebuild fast and try and ensure better production logistics onwards.

So, that’s Kazan left on a measly 3 cities, in what I’d consider a rump state… Wait, what? 3? But Vonya didn’t take Taraz… Oh my, it would appear Taraz is certainly under familiar new management, as it flies Bukharan colours now! I think this may be a peace deal too that’s just not showing, as I don’t understand how Bukhara moved a rifleman that fast from when we last saw then in turn 445, but we can all check once the episode’s released. In any case, man, Bukhara’s just such a great Poblometrics civ, they want it so much.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Tantric Tactics

95: Tantric Tactics

One rolling over of a turn later, and Astrakhan is looking a fair bit more devastated as the Buddhist state clings onto their Capital and Holy City with all they’ve got. I’d like to imagine that inquisitor is more of a chaplain, applying tantric preparations to the knights before they valiantly surge to the Palace. Unfortunately, with 10 slides left to go, I’m pretty sure Ayuka Khan ain’t making it to Episode 35.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Once More, A Last Stand

96: Once More, A Last Stand

How many last stands have you been blessed to receive this part, my my. The melodrama fans of the CBR will be joyous, I’m sure. This is certainly a melodramatic way of going about it too, with Gwanggaeto forming a full semicircular siege around Yrkyr’ before even dropping a singular bomb on it. No escape by land.

97: Numb

What to do when your English and your land is taken, your hopes are shattered, your dreams are dead and your citizens are now mostly bloody French?! Well, I’ll tell you as a Brut myself, spending a bunch of time lying down listening to prime trip-hop is near the top of my list of options, and with Portishead touring Asturica I’m glad Henry has that option available to him.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Comparative Advantages

98: Comparative Advantages

Looks like the Qarnawu siege has restarted in earnest, even if it’s guaranteed to flip once taken; Hamer Weyne remains contested and an assault has begun on Aksum to the west. What a fascinating war: Mogadishu remain subpar on land so need to press their naval advantages, Saba probably needs to focus on one front or lose the other, and I’m doubtful Sierra Leone has the forces ready to outright beat Saba unless Makeda chooses to focus on Mogadishu over him, which she has so far.

I must say, I’m not quite sure this is the perfect environment for Addison Mizner, the architect who developed and popularised IRL South Florida’s faux-colonial Spanish style in the 1920’s. Who knows though, perhaps in a few CBR decades South Mogadishu will be jam-packed with wealthy snowbird retirees happy to fund Mogadishu’s game-winning armies?

99: The Forsaken

After Sierra Leones latest move, we can truly see the extent to which Saba-D’mt has abandoned this side the the empire to it’s enemies. Aksum should fall next turn, and with some plane management I imagine Qohaito would easily fall next, expanding Peter’s power in the continents core greatly.

100: Samsara

L: Ayuka Khan stands in virtually the centre of the Observation Deck, rotating slowly as he takes in the immense overload of screens and information surrounding him, from news stations to market data, updating info tables and endless stacks of reports and briefs. Behind him, the Sub’s officers respectfully offer guiding advice, doing their best to integrate their new passenger as ever. With natural instinct, the former Khan detects a section with one notable screen, which only 2 weeks ago had been surrounded by Observers doing their thing, goading and celebrating and mourning the capture of Astrakhan, and with it the elimination of the Kalmyks from this ‘game’.

“Game…” Ayuka Khan swirls the diction around his mouth, not quite feeling it yet. “I know in my heart this is right, but it seems callous, no?” he ponders. The Officers amiably chuckle, not necessarily disagreeing; with Pedro piping up “We have a philosophy club Tuesdays and Saturdays you might do well to visit, plus a multi-religious worship zone, if that helps you transfer.”

The Khan nods silently, still staring up at the panoramic view of his final city, the place he ruled from for centuries up to a fortnight ago. The people he ruled, now donning Afsharid emblems beyond fringe loyalists. All so small now, it had to make you laugh, and, with no prompting for his guides, Ayuka Khan began to do so. He did always want to achieve a cycle of rebirth, after all!

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Nader Shah can add another notch to his sabre (is that a thing anyone ever did) as the Kalmyks, after centuries of rumpdom, are eliminated! I’m not even sure where you’d begin an obituary on the Kalmyks that doesn’t sound like a joke, they are simply a civ that never got started. Like Makhnovia, their peak rank was last episode at 39th, essentially pushed up by other eliminations. To put it even more starkly, after Episode 1 they were ranked 45th, and it would take until Episode 29 to get a better rank than that (by which point there were only 51 civs in the game).

In case you’ve forgotten, Kalmyks started the game badly by settling and losing their third city, Elista, to Kazan in Episode 2. A round two with Kazan and a easy poaching by Pontus reduced them to Lagan, safe in the mountains, and Astrakhan by pure luck. And that’s how things stayed. In a way I think it’s unfair to think about the Kalmyks in terms of the CBR victory conditions, because I have a feeling Ayuka Khan wouldn’t care about that. The real legacy the Kalmyks are leaving the Cylinder in my eyes is the religion of Vajrayana Buddhism, as of current data the Cylinders largest faith with 1218 followers and 74 dominant cities, with it’s peculiar mix of centering on a God of War yet also being a Peace Loving religion perhaps telling a story of the internal confusion of the Kalmyks. F, you tremendously happy civ.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Inevitabilities

101: Inevitabilities

Last turn of this episode, and we’re spoiled as we pan over to a region of the map I’m pretty sure has been unmentioned so far, Australia, which gives us a second piece of genuinely interesting intel from Ishtar in one episode. I mean, maybe ‘genuinely interesting’ is a misnomer, it’s hardly surprising that Tarenorerer is thinking of doing the thing she’s already done like three or four times this game of invading Noongar, but I will press that, maybe this time, it could go different. I know, I know, every single time we hype up Palawa’s tech and naval advantage and it ends up useless against Noongars superior grit and logistics, but goddamnit, we’ve seen how plances change the whole game, right? Plus, infantry vs riflemen is a bigger strength jump than anyone realises, 34 to 70! All I’m saying is, if this breaks out next episode, it could be a big deal.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Drowning Men aren’t troubled by the Rain

102: Drowning Men aren’t troubled by the Rain

Ooooo, now this is interesting to consider. I checked the order, and technically Nivkh was indeed dead there for the briefest of moments, as Goguryeo had Yrkyr’ captured and Okha was not yet flipped. I know the procedure is that that doesn’t count as an elimination yet, but I mean, look at this situation for Nivkh, they are for all intents and purposes dead. We just have to pretend otherwise for a week, haha. F in advance.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Land of Plenty

103: A Land of Plenty

I’ve seen some folks make the argument that Mexico doesn’t have enough land in America to stage a proper attack on Osage, and well, how about now?

104: Tainted Peace

So, it seems for some inane reason, I’m guessing without knowing something along the lines of ‘I’m already unhappy as hell, my people demand I stop’, Sierra Leone has backed out of the war with Saba-D’mt even as Aksum was essentially open to them. I’m no expert on the AI’s calculation, but I must wonder if Mogadishu’s peace on the same turn was a factor, perhaps convincing Peters he didn’t have the distracted Makeda he wanted. In any case, two of the three enemies Saba-D’mt faced have quit; in Mogadishu’s case seemingly just flipping Hamar Weyne before the treaty was signed. A good war on the whole for Mogadishu, I think, although they certainly would have wanted Qarnawu if just to connect up their coastline without having to sail around Madagascar in the future. The real loser here is, naturally, Kanem-Bornu, left out to dry against a wound up and far superior civ. While I’d love to see them make a mad dash for Aksum, I think begging for peace would be more practical.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Memento Immortalitatis

105: Memento Immortalitatis

L: Captain Nebby stands alone at the bridge, a monitor to his side allowing him to keep an eye on the Observation Deck. From this camera, the oldest immortal of the Sub has seen hundreds of thousands of days of observations: the passions, the arguments, the hopes and dreams, the jubilation and despair of civs winning and losing in the eyes of the passengers he shepherds. The simple satisfaction his bizarre little game, started so long ago and which has evolved in so many ways, has brung to the people who view it.

“You know,” he says to no one in particular, surrounded by empty space, “... they’re very much like you in many ways, aren’t they? From those who just read along, or the data divers, the consumers of media, the rankers and poll voters, all sorts… This is a truly unique dynamic we have going here, and there’s no guarantee it’ll last forever. But that’s OK. We’ll all do our best to keep it going as long as we can, keep the community together. When it’s inevitably over we’ll have a subload of memories from it, days spent wasting our time away reading up on civs attacking other civs, who got what tech and which leaders have what personalities, etc etc. All I can wish is that it hits its goal of adding some fun and brightness to your day. What else can one desire from life, hmmm?”. Nebby doffs his captain's cap to you, and carries on his ceaseless duties.

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Woah look gang it’s Michael Jackson! Anyway, see y’all around, and I hope you enjoyed!