Episode 01: An Even REDDER Sea – S5

Hey there folks! My name is TPangolin, and it's an absolute honor to be aboard the Cybersub once more to herald in the new season of our beloved CBR - the OG narrative prompt generator that ChatGPT wishes it was. It's that time of year again where we gather for the collective watching of the dance of 61 Civs resolving their dynastically long diplomatic disputes on the battlefield ~ and earning our hearts in the process!

I have to say that the viewdeck bridge is feeling *quite* claustrophobic given how crammed it is with people, but I understand that many of you have waited for these prime spots for hours now - so with that being said proceedings will be underway shortly after a few announcements ~

As your first captain of the ship, what I want you to remember foremost:

Whilst this is a game where you have no influence or control, remember that (paradoxically) when it comes down to it - YOU actually have more influence than anybody. YOU are the ones that control the beat of the narrative drum, YOUR song pushes forth sacrilegious agendas, YOU are the pattern recognizers, and the gambling addicts that speculate on where Civs will land in this grand pachinko board of interconnected gameplay systems; where obscene events may only be possible due to Rube-Goldberg style shenanigans!

Be vigilant: Be the eyes that see what others can't! Take influence from the in-game civs… and make bold predictions for yourself that you have no idea will pay off or not.

But alas, I am so excited for all of you to be joining, and for all the folks rejoining me in reacclimatising ourselves from cryo-stasis to an even spicier Antarctic wind. Now…. Let us all witness the glory present in the greatest ethical dilemma simulator 2026 could offer us, on an epic voyage through time (and not so much space), to an experience that I’ve read on Kotaku is significantly “greater than Civilization 5 with the Brave New World expansion pack”.

Need a refresher on all the personalities whimsically waging digital warfare on your handheld devices? EmeraldRange has a great series of accessible writeups to introduce you to our candidates for Cylindrical domineering.  I have trust that this will encourage people enough to do further readings about these incredible cultures and peoples, beyond just their unique component entries!In general the modding community has been knocking it out of the park when it comes to representation, and sets a standard that I would still love to see from all mainstream 4X developers. Much of the CBR reveals the negative space of the game - not just in terms of its technical limitations - so it’s been beautiful to see how well the modding community has matured to be attuned to hearing and actively listening to voices from spaces and cultures 4X games traditionally don’t develop in mind for.

A consolidated writeup with infographics can be found here: http://reddit.com/r/civbattleroyale/comments/1qfip9h/cbrx5_civ_blurbs_writeups_consolidated/ And a list of Civ abilities and additional info can be found here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1KMH0yqYJU1HRYac1Vl2NdKVFIPYepRPbZu8U1zvxKCk/edit?usp=sharing

Also a reminder for the modset used:

https://www.reddit.com/r/civbattleroyale/comments/1q49z9v/season_5_gameplay_modset

Also big shoutout to /u/Orangechrisy for another amazing iteration of the Lazy Portugal show - a continuation of what started 10 years ago by /u/MetroGoldyMayer:https://www.reddit.com/r/civbattleroyale/comments/1qbawgi/its_the_lazy_portugal_show_12/

And also the BIGGEST possible shout out to all the OG Mk.2 authors, writers, and producers of comics, podcasts, novels, artworks, stand-alone sites, programs, mods, cartography, analyses, power rankings etc. etc. I am still enraptured by being a part of such an experience where we saw the birth of Great Works every variety!!

Resident cartographer /u/Sonicfan0511 provides us with our first paint-by-numbers/join-the-dots sheet. I would love for anyone to use this as a template to predict how civs will be developing during different Turn-’X’ milestones, and to compare and contrast how laughably wrong or worryingly right we were ~

On a tangent, I absolutely love the mis-en-scene associated with the CBR, where our omnipresence allows us to visualise things the in-game Civs cannot comprehend. But considering how each civ is seeing things through their perspective is even more interest piquing - Civs might see the the Ocean but not engage because their line of sight is developing down another narrow field, and thus they might not discover the advantages of a port-city or a need for any aquatic techs at all.

But while yes, we can opine that civs don’t have the greatest optimal start locations for their performance within a Domination only game; a thought exercise: if we apply agency to the entities within each Civ, perhaps there is internal debate them over whether or not cities should even be optimized for perpetual warfare? (which, fair enough - probs be okay to cut them some slack).

In the case where things are optimised for never-ending conflict, I whole-heartedly hope (and expect) to see people closely tracking particularly experienced battalions of units, and where Great Generals and Admirals are captured to mutinously turn the tide of battle.

For all those that have been consistent supporters of this project throughout this past decade, I truly don't have the proper words to express my gratitude for you all! Through calamities and riots, your ardent belief in the power of community-led storytelling has led to a tangibly empowered community. It’s been wonderful to hear stories of everything people have done and accomplished because of the space this sub provides. I have a pride that cannot be rationalised because all the credit belongs with you. To raise the flag in solidarity to our ‘Kuyas’, please consider donating to keep this project ongoing for perpetuity. All should be giving a massive thanks to /u/Coiot and /u/LacsiraxAriscal for their everpresent dedication and ethos to the values at the very core of the project!!A Side Note: A reason I find the CBR fascinating is because the root of the game's objective morality is an unchanging victory condition that affects Civ behavior, and therefore the 'lived' perspectives of the Civs in the game about their reasoning and justification for warfare.

In this ep we ask ourselves of the self-awareness of these Civs, not just of the CBR itself, but of this ‘Domination-only victory condition’ amongst the population - Is it a biological innateness given for the purposes of this simulation? Or is this just another case of the systemic end result of an immortal hierarchy of top-down leadership engaged in egotistical personality squabbles?

If the latter is the case then it stands to reason that not everyone within the CBR-verse is onboard with their world being *in essence*: a genocide simulator; a sentiment of which I'm sure that we can relate to ourselves given the current state of our world and the leaders trying to play CBR IRL in it.So with this being said, if you're unable to find time to support the CBR and its community - there is a world of other communities going through hardships that could love your tangible presence ~ in ways that aren't purely monetary. Much love and solidarity to those fighting the hard fight.

Haven’t yet seen the juicy agendas formulated by the long-lived and never-wrong Power Rankers? It’s nearly an institution that’s old enough to drink (in some countries at least, and even then they’ll tell you where those ones are ranked out of 195).I have purposefully avoided reading these until after I finished this week’s narration - so as to not be influenced by their ~ilithid tadpoles wriggling behind my eyes~ err… successful forays into anime-level powerscaling.

Coiot: So instead of a PR slide, here is the Lazy Portugal Show!

~ 160 Years Has Passed ~

Fitting for the man who gives us our guillotines - Robespierre starts us off with a France that looks inwards. Depriving themselves of the Atlantic and a subsequent port city, the French look in-continent (much like a cadaver post beheading).

Meanwhile Scotland ponders a cosy settlement as it comments how cute the Isle of Man looks from that angle, blissfully unaware that Grace O'Malley already has eyes in, and possibly for, Cornwall.

Down south, The Warrior Pope without a Cause looks towards the Alps to give him direction, whilst the League vs. Union rivalry begins a scrum for the north - but will they tackle the challenge?

With the entire continent of Africa at her beck and call, The Soothsayer Princess *checks notes* settles Sardinia, likely to disrupt the lost Warrior Pope's sardine supply.

Julius II is looking for something to give him a fighting spirit - and a quarrel over these small fishies just aren’t doing it. If he considers Dihya small-fish for too much longer he might end up realising he’s actually the scrawnier betta-fish in this 1-on-1 aquarium kerfuffle.

Forward Settling may be a surefire route for expansionist plans, but don’t ever doubt the power of “Back Settling”. Samori Ture of Wassoulou has likely not realised there were people to the east, or perhaps were not looking to get on Amina's wrong side before they were ready to be.

Alas, keep an unresting eye awake for West Africa, as much like the Caucasus Mountains it’s a combination of highly vulnerable and defensible.

The Herero hill-complex of Okahandja sets up sans-palisades near Etosha Pan.

On the slopes of Kilimanjaro - The Luba, whilst enjoying a cultural exchange with Ethiopian and Ma'in scouts, probably haven’t been informed about Illunga Sungu’s plans to settle in the Mombasa region. Maravi are keen to dash their chances as their settler climbs further north incrementally.

Look, the Rouran symbology here is either a case of cultural reclamation or someone on the cybersub team is secretly in cahoots with the Northern Wei Dynasty to further the agenda of derogatory, pun-based ethnonyms.

That being said their uniques are perfectly suited for becoming incredibly effective with this specific terrain. There's already enough Fresh Water for their Invisible Units and Wells (dug by horses presumably with little shovels on their hooves). With Unit Limits and plenty of space to spread their cities out, they may have difficulty in maintaining a defensive frontline compared to so many of their forcefully compacted southern empires.

One tile island Civs like Ryukyu are notoriously vulnerable but can usually tank a few captures given how they're forced to produce nothing but Food. If they can manage to get a good foothold to produce naval vessels that clog up the arteries of the trade networks of the East China Sea, then perhaps the memes of EU:IV Ryukyu world domination will finally be real!

Hideyoshi’s Japan exiles Osaka off the mainland and forces it to be the one to deal with the outsiders portside.

Lanfang after settling Sumatra sends their unique - the Lansaai Croft Tomb Raider - to an EXTREMELY active volcano… what could go wrong?

Ternate sets their sights squarely on Sulawesi. Surely - the ‘Hidden Achievement’ for the Ket in this game is to fully control Sulawesi - [The Special(ist) K].

There must be a strange sense of deja vu or dejathree for Bunuba populace, and perhaps after deeptime visions of past-lives - decide that they may not be the first on the southern continent to make contact with those of their northern neighbours, as they head deeper into the desert and establish Darlngunaya as firmly Bunuba Country.

Pontiac of the Anishinaabe has one of my favourite starting locations of all time, and combined with Tadodaho’s settling of Ahaouete, we're only one city away from ships being able to be sent from one side of the Great Lakes to the other - and the capital of Onondaga already has Cargo Ships built and ready to pull an Ever Given at any moment.

Susquehannock are in no rush to settle, and they have time too - one of the largest frontiers in the game is on their doorstep whether they know it or not. Likely even the concept of a frontier may come to be dismissed as a colonial farce. Yes they’re bound to a 4X system, they may say - “but don’t hate the player!”

Kipchaks send a potential early housewarming gift to the Bactrians in the form of a forward settle.

Qara-Khitai plans to straddle either side of the Kyrgyzstani mountains as it looks for literally any City-States to surreptitiously deprive them of health.

Zara Yaqob carves out his destiny by formulating his pre-emptive plans for a rock-hewn church. Civs in Ethiopia are endlessly defensible, but can often can struggle with Food and Production (the churches carved from pure mountain aren't going to help here either - unless you're a rock crunchin' gnome); luckily Roha has decided to side-step precedent by setting itself on the doorstep of Lake Victoria.

“Hmmm… the Ma'in banners from a distance look like an octopus” mutters both a Hyksos Archer and a Seychellois Scout simultaneously, despite being thousands of kilometres away from each other.

In real-life in my hometown of Sydney, a land of bubbles within bubbles, where all sections inexplicably hate each other, the West is suspicious of the East, and if the Spit Bridge burnt down between the Northern Beaches and the North Shore, neither side would care too much at all. Makes sense then that the city planners in Sydney CBD would try to distance themselves as much as possible from Parramatta by sending the settlers so far down the Parramatta River that they skipped it entirely and ended up in Gunaikurnai country outside of Melbourne/Naarm.

Much to the disappointment of the shared demographic of art-mums and 14 year olds, Green Ukraine is not an environmentally friendly or dispensary specific edition of diasporic Ukraine. The Greenlanders (no wait…) the Ukrainians decide to head inland, following the half-reassuring voice of the head scout saying “trust me guys the tundra just seems so much more rewarding than the coastline.”

As Grace O’Malley weighs up the logistics of stealing the sheep across the strait, Scotland sets up the future paper distribution powerhouse of DunderMifflin, unaware they might’ve parkour kicked over O’Malley’s reserved parking space sign in the process.

Estonia's too busy singing the songs of angry men, too enraptured in bardic revolution that they've forgotten to settle.

The Bjarmians hope that their unique Arctic characteristics will keep them well fed enough in the tundra to produce their Composite Bowman unique in ample numbers. One has to wonder how exactly the Bjarmians weaponised CPTSD to make Ashen Slayers shoot at intercontinental ballistic missile range upon witnessing the demise of their enemies.

A now determined Maravi plans to expand further northwest meaning that Luba is forward settled. Southern exposure might be good for house planning, but city-planning? Lets hope it ends well for Katende's sake.

~ 40 Years Have Passed ~

Cebu, likely under the guidance of their Babaylan, are already building their Barangay Unique Improvements on open water. Realising they likely need to house folks not only on top of coral reefs, they rush to found the considerably more landed version of a Barangay of Mandawili where Manila is in southern Luzon.Ternate remains unaware the Ket may be koming for their K.

Bangladesh pulls off one of the most defensible forward settles given the topography of the whole CBR map. The Himalayas are famous for insulating empires, but as we know insulation is famously flammable and I’m sure that this metaphor is as profound as I am distracted by the thought of burning insulation.

Trying to pull our focus from this hemisphere is our first diplomatic spat - between Amina and Samori Ture! Aww guys! What a milestone ~

Seychelles does their job to keep Austronesian languages on Madagascar with a sparkling new Anse Boileau.

Lets not forget that having Trade Routes be forced to Trade between your Cities can pump them up significantly. Those extra prod poisnts or citizens can really make or break a siege defense in the early-midgame!

João was aiming for historical accuracy with Porto up north, but the Portuguese went a bit too far and landed in Spanish territory which luckily for them doesn’t exist. The French however, like in our own world - are very real. I’ve seen at least one before.

Potiguara’s Felipe Camarão was looking to start a satellite city but at this rate it'll be out of orbit from Capãoba itself.

The Caral, in the same boat, have decided something similar for themselves and are casting their nets beyond the Andes .

Guava is a Taíno word, and the Xaragua are a Taíno chiefdom but as much as we want it to, it doesn’t look like Guava is the etymological origin for the ripe fruit we enjoy (or revile). The Xaragua are content to build up a navy to pick off coastal stragglers than to settle widely themselves.Whenever I see that we're processing turns for the Barbarians I'm left to wonder who the real barbarians are. Those are what we’ve called the leaders on the cybersub that won’t stop squabblin’ post-elimination right?

~ 40 Years Later ~

I just want Teotihuacan to start atop a lake tile in a TSL game for once, it'd make it genuinely so interesting!

Keep an eye on Karankawa's defensible city of Cujane! Cutting off open-access to the Texan Plains, their civ's uniques mean that Oysters could become the proverbial spinach to their public-domain Popeyes.

The Itelmen aren't settling near rivers, because they’d be receiving their aquatic downstream meals on wheels; nor are they getting a return on Faith from those same sources. They are one of the civs who are likely to activate nearly all aspects of their civ during this run of the game to some degree of relevancy. Being able to to build a third UC right out of the gate balances out the lack of topographical opportunities this space has to offer.

The cradle of civilization is still fast asleep, and the Ma'in spread north, not brave enough to try and attempt a landgrab @ Mt Sinai against Set Cultists that can presumably do that one thing that Dwayne “The Roc” Johnson can do (which is, to transform into a low-poly CGI scorpion man from the hit 2002 Ensemble Games property Age of Mythology).

All is fair in Union and the League pre-match rivalry for now, with both teams post-huddle prioritising coastal settling, just not the type that would assert and assure their economic dominance over the Baltic and the North Seas. Bold move, we’ll see how it p(l)ays off.

~40 Years Later~For forty years after our last visit, you’d think there'd be some more settlers in Production, but likely the militaristic spidey senses have been activated in those flavoured for those biases now that neighbours have fitted for crosshairs, and perhaps land acquisition may play out differently for those so inclined.

For the Civilizations like Yunnan, whose unique components don’t come into play until the Modern Era, one has to wonder if their culture has any identity crises when they see the people around them all curiously building the same model of Greco-Roman Trireme. This being said, the fact that their Dian Corps GWI replacement do NOT use charges like Workers in the Workforces mod (in order to build Railroads) will help them achieve an “all-stations-to-Snowball” moment eventually, if they are able to defend themselves until the proverbial Great War looms its crooked head over the horizon. Until then, they’ll be repeating the mantra: “I *think* I can. I *think* I can.”.

~ 40 Years Later ~ Mysore is a proud aficionado of the TSL one tile away from the coast gang, also known as the “Kyoto Klub”, joining 10 others - Can you name them all? The answers have been printed upside-down on the back of the Special Ket box this edition of the CBRX came in.

Whilst Pakistani Scouts report back to Muhammad al Jinnah in Karachi that they may have local competition on their southern front, and that such an exposed Coastal City on low-lying flats may be vulnerable on multiple sides if those in Mysore have the slightest inclination to pick up an oar or three. They’ll have far more to worry about when they’re feeling inclined to pick up the missiles that keep slipping out of their hands of their Bastion UB replacement (the Taramandal Pet), but that’s narration for a slide wayyy further down the line.For those breakfast starved boxless-folk:

oʇoʎʞ s,uɐdɐſ 'ǝʍƃuᴉqɯᴉɾʇO s’oɹǝɹǝH 'ɐlǝɥɔuǝɥʞ ’sǝɹn∀ 'nƃnpuɐssᴉq s’nolɐssɐM 'nʍɐuɹɐQ s’uᴉ’ɐW 'ɥsɐƃɐ˥ s’ɹǝɯnS 'ɐqôɐdɐƆ ɐɹɐnƃʇoԀ 'ɐʍnɾunſ s’ɐqnunq 'lɐɾpɐʞ,oƆ s’oɯoԀ 'ɐƃoʇsǝuoƆ s’ʞɔouuɐɥǝnbsnS

A Xavante Wazu'ri'wá Scout observes the Caral in their newly founded Aspero, a city that hugs the Andes tightly hoping desperately not to fall. Like them, I am disappointed and my day is ruined at the fact that they have not been given any fish to farm in Lake Titicaca after their long travels. The Xavante Wazu'ri'wá UU hopes one day too to be used for the niche reason it was born - to become a Banana.Dreams remain lively for a nuevo Panama Canal within Yanomami. Their Granary replacement (the Shabono) giving them Culture for Jungles instead of Food hardly registers as a negative for them because they’ll be consuming a large amount of cultured Bananas - and makes me think they’re the OG founders of the dada-ist art movement. The Xavante Wazu'ri'wá, however, wants to BE the Banana on the wall, to be appreciated and not just to appreciate.

Like I said, never count out an island Civ that gets a strong second City foothold! That being said, I can’t see their Dalca Work Boat UU - maybe they’re off discovering the world and providing CCTV footage of all neighbouring Civs’ Units for their leader. Given that there are a few improved Naval tiles, you’d expect there to be more Scouts scattered around South America (given that the Dalca creates a Scout upon expenditure).

Ponca under Qithaska (White Eagle) are such an interesting Civ in the way that their uniques seem to gear them towards ragebaiting specifically the ethnonationalist warmongerers in adjacent Civs by being able to, during a Peace Treaty, settle one City within the other civilization's territory. These guys are resilient in every sense of the word. We will also need a resident Pomo tracker telling us all which way the wind is blowing for them; for now they wait for a particularly… auspicious wind.

Estonia's Singing Revolution/Dancing Plague compels them southward, giving the northern Bjarmians space to thrive, but the Bjarmians just want guys to trade with so they get to spend more time with Foxy friends.

The Scythians are faffing around in straight-up hog territory. The swamp-addled Scythian Settler is probably wondering if it’s better to settle on the spot so as to recruit these pigs for their culinary skills, lest some sort of Eastern European Animal Farm situation is left to fester.Vyatka's gameplan seems inevitable, to egg on conflict from afar and send in their mercs so far down the river (NSW’s Parramatta style) that they'll never have to face the consequences of anything having to flow back up it. Civs are likely to be peppered by Vyatka at range, but responding would be just a hassle to coordinate, because they're all the way over ----> there.

.~ 40 Years Later ~The Tlingit remind you that it’s genuinely not that hard to spend 5 minutes trying to learn how to pronounce a place name (Kahch-ha-NAAK-kw); I’d presume the Tlingit feel that if anything that should be the bare minimum for anyone visiting any place. How long the adversaries of our PNW reps will be wanting to visit any spaces with a freshly planted Noow and Xaa premium combo is a question for their military advisors.

The Hyksos Capital of Avaris guarantees that our Suez canal dreams are real, whilst Arges is a statement from the house of Dracul that canals are for the weak and that the Bosporus will remain unnavigable. Whispers abound however that upon hearing the South has what they call a Red Sea, Vlad thus vowed to shut off access to the Black Sea and “turn it into a eeeven biggggger~ *REDDER* SEA”.The Phoenicians, wanting for nothing but to trade, send their Settler for some R&R with the sheep while they reconsider if Vlad wants the same, and plot who else is locally down to gain from the ancient shipping magnate game.

Was it a wayward star or a westbound La Niña tradewind that blew Rapa Nui's scout into Polynesia and not into a Pinochet-less Chilean desert? Their Settler is off-screen because of it. We will never know for sure but the room is ripe for speculation (and Guava sure enough).

~40 Years Later ~4 decades further into their journey and this little boat is being kept afloat using sunk cost theory….

Depending on the standards of this Settler, and if the Civ has discovered the relevant tech by the end of this long voyage - if there is a space where the Moai thrive they'll know it, and I feel like we'll all have learnt something at the end of the day about journeys, destinations, the denouncements we’ve made along the way and transpacific cultural telepathic tech sharing (how else do you think we ethnic folk learn recipes from our elders?).

Some say the best defense is a good offense, and the turtle-adorned Civ that some were hoping would be the turtle to end all turtles may be in-fact an alligator snapping turtle ready to call the Great Lakes new ponds to frolic around in.

I genuinely hope for the sake of both Olgit’s Ket and his Bagos Sorcerors that they invest in archery so that their Fish-Oil Bowman line forevermore will have projectiles dipped in a rich source of Omega-3 Fatty Acids. How else would they plan to konquer Sulawesi from the tenacious Ternate for their beloved Special K?

~ 40 Years Later ~The Scythians are now sending Warriors to negotiate with these feral truffle hungry hogs to establish cordial relations before they feel comfortable sharing quarters with them.

The whispers downwind from Targoviste about a “RED-der Sea” started to get too loud for Ismail Berzeg so one could say that the Circassians settled Byurqal purely out of spite.

I find it fascinating to watch the development of spaces where Civs straddle both highly defensible terrain that has been called the graveyards of empires in our timeline, but also highly vulnerable spaces on the plains with little chance to acquire the Production necessary to build defensively as needed.

The Kipchaks here may attempt to garrison defensively (or express post a unit to the frontline using established roads) during a conflict and find their units Temu dropshipped through and interspace wormhole to an apocalyptic scenario where they're under the beck and call of a banner that you could swear looks like an Octopus(?) from a distance.

Qara-Khitai desperately looks for some City-States to broker some deals resulting in EXPLOSIVE profits in the Gobi, but in truth they're more likely to find an Olgoi-Khorkhoi (or the other type of Mongolian deathworm -> the “Rouran”).[Note from TPangolin: I think there may be Tuoba-Xianbei / Northern Wei bias in this copy, note to Coiot to scan the Cybersub for potential spies that may be altering my script).

~ 200 Years Later ~200 years on and our centuries of vigilance teeters us into the existence of a Golden Age wherein we can finally the progress towards a *epithet* - the ultimate end goal for our people in the Antarctic, to be known for not *just* our names but for literally anything else. Happy Golden Age everybody! These don't come by often but when they do, *oh boy* you gotta catch the rerurns of classic CBR games on the holographic Cybersub displays scattered around the vessel.

The Cultists of Set officially deem that their Aardvarked Headed god's realm is in Sinai, where his sermons will mount a great wave of warfare wherein the rich spoils of war wash up on the shores of the domain of the deity of disorder.

The Phoenicians, feeling rejuvenated after their time with the herd of wild sheep, find themselves shepherded into a sense of submission and have decided to commemorate their interspecies bond by settling Sidon on the spot. Hiram's loveblindless (likely due to finding a potential use case for Tyrian Dye after realising the local City-State economy has gone mysteriously bust: Live Purple Sheep) may be fuelling his over-optimism for a thriving trade economy with his direct neighbours that on one side *checks notes* has plans to change the colour of an inland sea through warfare and on the other side: worships a god of violence that keeps being confused for a giraffe.

Lanfang true to the colours of their banner are the first after us to enter a Golden Age! I can't spot their Lansaai anywhere since we last spied our eyeglasses in this direction… so one can only assume our ancient prospecting Tomb Raider has been swallowed by Krakatoa… perhaps he found out too much? (R.I.P guys, Press “L” to pay respects).

Luo Fangbo will be forever on the hunt for swathes of flatland where they can establish Jungle Mines, unless they discover what southern Indochina has to offer before the rest of South East Asia gets there.

~ Another 40 Years Passes ~Specifically how Potiguara has fanned out over the coast may make this a difficult Brazilnut to crack. The Xavante establish themselves as the core of the rainforests themselves, whilst the Guaycaru, awash in an unforgiving Amazon, come to terms with territory hostile enough for humans (but fine enough for the beasts of burden Potiguara is sending via Caravans to Yanomami).

~ Yet Not Another 40 Years Passes ~ Somewhere in northern Chile a Wazu'ri'wá spies a cone of desert and tundra, as well as pitch-black cone-shaped hats from a certain local Guaycaru town. It dreams keenly of the age that during their golden glory days they may be reincarnated as a Banana, a Citrus Orchard or a place where Dyes are made to create Purple Sheep.

The Scythians were not so keen for trotters that close to where they sleep, so have decided that their Goldilocks zone is nearer to the warmongerers and a significantly less sentient resource - Dyes. Well it's only less sentient unless you decide to dye a Sheep.

~ 40 Years Passes ~Sumeria’s cradle-born Vultures are yet to even take flight and stay close to the nest. They're flying solo for now as any formations for these birds of prey are yet to be determined by Mama Bird (Eannatum).

Rapa Nui is pulling through for us as its tenacity leads the headwinds and is bound for the windy waters of Zenadth Kes - potentially establishing one whole side of the Polynesian Triangle in a gambit that could pay dividends for all but the Daintree Rainforest (which may soon be reappropriated for giant head based stone and earthworks). Meanwhile on the edge of the Gobu, Balasagun now plays host to a swanky imperial tenancy in a move that is set to become the far future inspiration for in-universe alt-right mano-cylinder podcasts.

After failing to find city-state customers to scam in the Gobi, Yelü Dashi has decided to create a government about it, and has started plans for moving Production around before anyone could figure out how to host a Workshop about it.

Will they who don the first crown also be the first to draw the ire for those wishing to take it? The social distancing enjoyed during simpler times is rapidly growing more complex with third Settlers from both Civs next to Qara-Khitai being produced in lieu of a fancy new palace and a fancy new crown.

~ 40 Years On ~

As Rapa Nui decides the Barrier Reef is no barrier for them at all, and prepares to give face to the land down under, they share the continent with a healthy Bunuba unslowed in growth by the desert but still wary of becoming custodians, cautioned by their Jalgangurru in-training for resources required to negotiate with the spirits around the red centre at Uluru.

However across the globe, a religion in a very different red centre is founded.

Pesedjet is codified and spread through the halls and alleyways of Avaris as its words gather momentum in its preparation to sneak its way to their cousins up the Nile, who haven't heard the specifics for how to behave like a good donkey/giraffe/aadvark-headed-god fearing cultist.

It wasn't until ~ 40 Years Later ~ that people realised that adhering to this set of beliefs meant believing that Set from Sinai dictates that “we should bury our veterans in the Walls of our Forts and Castles, so that the warrior spirits of our fallen ancestors can protect us and by extension the Spirit World (where I live); the more people believe this will determine how happy I am about this arrangement, and remember I can control storms and also presumably immigration(?) so there's that.” (this was found etched in hieroglyphs somewhere near the base of Sinai).

Luba - in a rather audacious move - settles themselves in a space that unless roaded is a chokepoint for its own units. To the north it has also gotten itself into a polite you-settle-no-you-settle-first conundrum with a Zara Yaqob feeling bloated from the absurd amount of seafood served ever-so-promptly by the riders of Roha from Lake Vic.

Maravi meanwhile have klaimed Kilimanjaro and, upon its Scout’s discussion with other Scouts, have spread counter-rumors that it resembles nothing of Greek mountain ranges and is not in fact Mount Olympus: Serengeti edition. They have three Settlers at the ready to spread in all cardinal directions, but not so much an army that can defend their fledgling territories. Their strategy seems to be to rely on the terrain itself to harvest souls whilst they can continue to go forth and multiply.

~ Forty Years Posthence~Be it the copper that colours the earth red (and collectively reminds us of another life on this continent where the sand was a deep, rich ochre) or the salt that makes the taste of marsupials manageable, the Bunuba has acquiesced that to not fully appreciate the gifts of the Mother is the trappings of those who would deem this Country simply “Lucky”.

The Rapa Nui Settler, after spending all its time in the sea, is considering landlocking itself or at least wondering if the dugout canoe can be converted to an ATV.

The Ket, despite having three cities and a fourth on the way may still only just be on the verge of meeting a culture/peoples that isn't themselves.

With a nearly endless space to claim for themselves, the Anishinaabe attempt to establish themselves in all kinds of terrain. I hope we get to see the actions of a pre-renaissance Spy if the Anishinaabe get their head in the game. The Onondaga seem hellbent on teasing the viability of a great lake/alligator-snapping-turtle pond mega canal.

Spearthrower Owl is struggling to get a healthy core series of powerhouses up and running, but here's hoping their third city and exports to Yanomami’s Shuimuiteri across the Darien Gap will be less painful than Manusos' trek in Pluribus.

“~ 40 Years Later ~”… stammers a Caral Fisher, as he looks into the Fishless Abyss of Lake Titicaca and wonders why it made the trek all those years ago to where the cloudline is at your ankles. “Is there anything more than this?” - aww hang in there lil’ guy.

There was a time in which we could imagine a healthy split of the important trade straits around the Union vs. League, but alas we'll be here with a patchworked bay that will make it difficult for any nation’s navy to thrive or even navigate. Best of luck with Bremen’s efforts (and another soon-to-be Hanseatic settlement) to complicate Margaraethe's plans, because she's currently enjoying a wide berth around Copenhagen and hasn’t even considered settling. Likely a sign that she’s attempting to construct something of scale ~ (how ‘wonder’ful).

Untrue to this rugby analogy, the League is fielding more players than the Union - but Coach Wullenwever says they’ve trained for this outcome.

Rapa Nui with their one tile, pop 9 City at Turn 25 combined with unaccompanied settlers on a centuries-long voyage is undermining any civ whose ever tried to establish a precedent for ‘Most Amount of Audacity within a CBR’. Now Puata Tupana has sunk others’ chances at a religion, so that it alone could swim.

Our first war on Turtle Island has broken out, as the alligator snapping turtle takes its first chomp at Warriors south of Ahaouete! Will the newly-founded hardly-defensible Onondaga city of Deseroken split the focus of the Warriors of Ol’ Sheehays’ Susquehannock? Is this entire conflict a plot between the two leaders to eventually sue for Peace once soldiers have seen enough conflict that they start to have Faith in Golden Age times beyond?

Here we see that Puata Tupana seems to stare directly down the barrel of the camera with its Cult of Dionysius trait which gives them Faith for their ecstatic Kills. We can also see that the sources of stone for their Moai will also be the primary producers of faith for their shamans exporting these Bacchanalian prophecies. At this stage we really have to be concerned about the level of self-awareness of some of these civs. ESPECIALLY after the Lansaai Croft Tomb Raider incident.

As Dundermifflin mills ideas of distributing sheets of dried wet matted fibres, its populace is probably unaware of the growing might of the Umhaillian navy that has invested in sails and masts over settler-colonists. Anywhere coastal on the isles is vulnerable from hit-and-go tactics from nearly all sides, and Perth is looking mighty vulnerable once it loses its value as a trading partner.

Owl, Spearthrower Esq. has declared rites for Spring, which makes people have a bit more Faith in and Cultural appreciation for the local Pastures and Plantations.Waka is founded just in-time to share in the bounties of a pantheon it may never truly reap the benefits of… unless a Xavante Wazu'ri'wá decides to reiterate as a Gros Michel or a Cavendish here.

The Pomo, sick of not having a religion to decide their rightful wind, have decided to blow north, incorporating Behe'Pal as a township in real-time before the adjacent Tlingit has time to consider throwing up a ramshackle pre-Metal Casting Noow. Additionally, Wain-Xude is established in the most defensible but starv-able locations on the cylinder - the dreaded SMILEY FACE mountains. A more on-the-nose name than soon-to-be-Hubdon’s Grand Mesa (though Wain-Xude is still in range).

~ 40 Years Later ~The Tlingit, (relatively) hot off the heels of that Behe'Pal disrespect, formulate a plan to regain strength from the God of the Sea - the Sea Wolf Gunakadeit: a guardian of the endless deep. Through them they can be assured that aquatic bounties are to provide abundance and most necessary, the Faith needed to make the right decisions with all this excess of good luck.

Amina’s focusing on expansionism is unperturbed by the denunciation between herself and Wassoulou's ever-readying highly deployable army.

Dihya decides a desert disposition is more delectable after surveying that her settlement in Sardinia is sufficiently salient in disrupting Papal sardine surpluses.

With this pantheonic announcement, Scythia has loudly articulated to the surrounding world that their love of the forest supersedes that of their collective distrust of hog-kind. Perhaps they can manifest a real boar (or a Boar-real) Communion in these blessed woods, sacred groves, and holy mudstys.

~ 40 Years Onwards ~In a move straight from Xi Jinping’s playbook, Ryukyu seems to be encircling Formosa before attempting any activity on the island. The Tang under Taizong make a bolder investment south, marking their territory like a cat and by doing so aiming to taunt the other local tigers to come out and play.

The Xavante Wazu'ri'wá, like the civs that inhabit it - becomes bored of the southern cone and comes to grips with the extensive city planning of Potiguara. In response Apoena has founded their third: Marimbú.Caral sends its depressed fishers down from Titicaca to the western end of the Amazon river.Guaycuru’s Misión El Toba has the largest population in South America right now! Keep an eye on its growth spurts from food surpluses, especially once it starts to produce their Amazon-transcending Haliaganék Horseman UU. Eso’s too busy Scalp Dancing to have noticed Cerro de Potosi on the other side of the mission Mountain.

A Sarai on the horizon has arisen! The Bactrians in blue respond with an attempt to settle their third on the doorstep of Ulytau.

A niche industry has popped up in the cities of the neighbouring civs: oiling all the local chariot wheels in case either one of them need to hastily rush over the hills and around mountains to assist gravity in further flattening the lowlanders during a hastily announced ‘Declaration of War’.

After hearing rumours of the legendary cookouts at Set's house (Mt. Sinai ~ some things may have gotten lost in translation), the non-cephalopod representatives of the Arabian peninsula offer themselves up humbly as the Ma'in course. They are also hoping that Set is, true to his word - amongst his portfolio: a god of foreigners. If newly settled Kaminahu turns out to be more of an appetizer, then they've sent another Settler down south.

With an impressive 11 population, the Sumerian capital of Lagash is thriving. Workers will be hastily working away to connect Ur to the network given how far away it is settled (relative to CBR contexts). One could assume the Sumerians are min-maxing their amount of land per capita, ensuring their Specialists are never out of work.

~ 40 Years has Passed ~The Malacca Strait has been secured, and Lanfang, in naming it “Senaman”, hope to manifest sources of Cinnamon locally. A lone Trireme mourns the loss of their singular Lansaai in the fiery unforgiving hellmouth that is Krakatoa.

Hark! The Great Lighthouse has been constructed, and if you squint just enough it just so happens to look like a giant Moai head with a flaming mohawk bright enough to be seen by their settler in Australia.

Rapa Nui is an example of someone who’s already won the body-building competition, yet they continue to flex after the judges have recorded their results. For the Rapa Nui flexing is not for the results of external validation, flexing is for its own sake; *flexing is a lifestyle*.

~ 40 Years Later ~In a move foreshadowing the sightings of the Parmeson of God on grilled toasted sandwiches and the inevitable swiss-cheese stigmata: The Warrior Pope without a Cause has finally found partial salvation in the Cheesemakers! In learning that he is not lactose intolerant and will potentially be around for millennia, his edict assures him a doomsday prepper level of mozzarella. Now the question is - can he focus on planning where his next City should go before he even discovers the existence of Sicily? Dihya sure seems to have their sights set on things that aren't milkable udders.

With the greatest deference of respect, the Pomo people have named Essie Parrish to their Pantheon as God-Queen. Unfazed or probably too hyperfocused on basket-weaving to notice, Auntie Essie probably just told the party heralding the announcement “oh that’s nice, there are some baskets in the corner if you need to store any of those offerings to your fancy new Queen”.

Rather than staring down into the depressing fishless abyss of Titicaca, Capac the kingfisher has opened up the sky as a place of Faith claiming that their nets can be used to catch the ‘fish-of-the-sky’ (birds) too. In all honesty though, +1 Faith from Plains could be what saves the Caral from an early extinction event. If they establish their God of the Open Sky as one that is locally recognised, they could then play the role of a Pre-Francis South American Pope that could rather whimsically wield the DoWarhammer.

We should also note that according to the mini-map:

-  the Rapa Nui as of this stage have not chosen a second city location. Could they reach Uluru prior to the Bunuba?

- Both the Itelmen and Ket appear to be up to 4 cities now.

- Green Ukraine heads north and gives Japan more room to breathe.Wow: that was a THOUSAND YEARS? Sure felt like it, but curious that none of you look any older. Must be the air down here.

  That’s where we leave it for today folks ~Thanks again to the eternal supporters of the cybersub. You have my undying, immortal love. I genuinely hope that my words meet standards that have likely evolved throughout these years!

For those of y'all who are now alongside me, are just rejoining us in the many, many years since Mk. 2 - it's been an honour to welcome y’all back to the chaos that shaped so many of our lives in the strangest ways many will never understand. But if you do have the time, I’d love to hear of the rabbit holes the CBR has sent you down!

Let us pray that our own personal hiatuses don't take too long, and that in the future we're not returning here ~ 40 Years Later ~.

But until then (hopefully not) ~

Much love,

Jett/TPangolin