Episode 20: For Whom the Bell Tolls; It Tolls for Thee – S5

June 16, 2026

Archimedes

Abstract

As we watch the machinations of gunpowder empires force their wills on the weak, more and more states seem to teeter in the balance. Do we expect to hear the final death knells of civs that have lasted centuries? Or can peace prevail in the end, despite the smoke that fills the air.

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How Much Is This Guy Gonna Talk About Teotihuacan?
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CBR In-Game Screenshot of How Much Is This Guy Gonna Talk About Teotihuacan?

1: How Much Is This Guy Gonna Talk About Teotihuacan?

Hey everyone! My name is Archimedes, noted Teotihuacan fanatic on the PR team and long time viewer of the CBR since way back in the Mark 2 era with Canada and the Buccaneers. I’ve finally stepped up to the plate of narrating an episode, so bear with me as we go on a wild, verbose, and definitely unbiased ride of this next episode.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Eliminated at 60th

2: Eliminated at 60th

Orangechrisy has put together a wonderful ghost ball for one of the wackiest contenders we’ve seen in CBRX history. With one of the farthest second settlements I’ve ever seen, it’s safe to say that Rapa Nui will go down in the annals of history for doing… something.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof

3: Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof

Additionally this past week, we saw continued proof of just how much dog Cebu really has in them. EmeraldRange has put together a little informational poster showcasing how much more ahead Humabon is than the competition in this game. With three capitals to their name, and plenty of targets still to choose from, Cebu could keep this streak going well into the next few episodes.

Shout out to the discord and the subreddit though for all of the great content being pumped out. Sonicfan0511’s Greatest Extent maps and Coiot’s Drink the Cool Aid were close contenders for this week, as well as every other submission that keeps these weeks alive and thrumming.

Maybe I should start making comics again.

4: All Votes Go to Pomo

A continued shout out to the Ko-Fi supporters who keep the CBRX running. I certainly see a lot of Pomo supporters in here and yet there is not a single person who supports Teotihuacan. I’ll personally only appreciate you a bit and not the full amount, but everyone else thinks you’re the bees knees.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Civ That’s (Maybe Not) Dead

5: A Civ That’s (Maybe Not) Dead

I’m taking the opportunity to showcase the slide and writeup for Wassoulou this week, much to the shock and awe of the rest of the Power Ranking team who expected me to highlight Teotihuacan. I do this mainly to showcase that Nopecopter has written a grand eulogy of 2568 words, an absolutely staggering amount. Figures, since Wassoulou is the first of Nopecopter’s civs to be eliminated from this game.

As an aside, I want to shout out the absolutely amazing work that the Power Ranking team does. As a new member for season 5, it’s remarkable to see how much discussion goes into deciding which civs get ranked where, and how much combing through techs, positioning, and other available data ends up happening. Each week the team pumps out 61 thought out slides and writeups about the various positions of each competitor, and I urge you all as a reader to take a peek at the hard work everyone does. It’s good stuff.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Frigid Introduction

6: A Frigid Introduction

Starting out the episode, we’re getting a shot of the Vyatka - Kipchaks - Ket border ; a cold and foreboding split along the Ural mountains where one side is definitely more developed and defensive than the other.

Though Vyatka and the Kipchaks are relatively neck and neck, Ket stands above and beyond with not one, not two, but THREE cities that are in the 80s when it comes to city defense. Samanism has been spreading like wildfire, and that +1 City Strength per city following the religion has absolutely been doing numbers, defining Ket as of the hardest places to invade on the whole cylinder.

Tucked away next to the Vyatka capital of Orlov is Louis Riel, famed Canadian politician and advocate of the Métis people. Louis was born originally in territory controlled by the Hudson's Bay Company, and fought against the Company and the Canadian government during the Red River Resistance to establish the province of Manitoba. He fled the country for a while before returning to assist Métis leaders in Saskatchewan during the North-West Rebellion, before being captured, convicted, and hanged at the age of 41.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Inevitable Consequences

7: Inevitable Consequences

It’s become apparent that Cebu’s absolute Dog-In-Them aura is beginning to turn some heads, as their recent capture of Ternate’s capital has gained them some enemies. Japan and Circassia, one of which is in no place to contribute, have decided to create a little coalition war against Cebu, perhaps out of fear or perhaps out of jealousy. With the bulk of Japan’s navy floating right outside the former Ryukyu capital, things are looking perhaps a little dire for Cebu.

Or, they would be, if not for the fact that Japan is severely lacking in the Naval Technology department.

Though Cebu originally swept through Ternate with Caravals and Pikeman, the keen eyed reader will notice that Cebu is now actually sporting a few Galleons, 28 strength melee ships that dwarf Japan's 18 strength Carracks. Though Japan certainly has a positional advantage, these six Galleons combined with a 44 strength city surely means Cebu has the defensive advantage, and perhaps will even push into Japanese lands.

Another fun fact for those keeping track of religions, Tlingit’s busted religion has fully made its way through Japanese lands, on a direct collision course with Bangladesh’s Shaktism. Japan must surely enjoy feasting on the unintended +5 science and +5 culture that each city following Sgáanaang is providing, helping them keep pace with some of the other big dogs in the region. Perhaps Cebu can nab some of those Sgáanaang cities for themselves.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Fire and Ash of a Smouldering State

8: Fire and Ash of a Smouldering State

In the ravaged lands of Ternate, where the smoke of conquest blocks out the sun, Cebu’s Timawa march through the ashen fields of Sidangoli, Ternate, and Nakijin. Things were going well for Cebu, but Luo Fangbo has decided the fun needs to stop here. Lanfang has joined the coalition war, presenting a legitimate threat to Cebu’s southern cities and recent war acquisitions. Though Lanfang’s navy may at first seem equally matched to their fellow aggressor, the occasional galleon and caravel sprinkled in means that Cebu is probably in legitimate trouble now, especially since Lanfang has a decent bit more productive might.

Bunuba also happens to be in this slide. And well, they’re certainly looking sparse at the moment.

War with New South Wales is certainly wearing them down, as their nonexistent navy looks pretty spent, and their one galleon is lurking out of the way to repair and recharge. Bunuba was at one point a real contender in this game, but at the present moment they’re acting as a buffer state to slow down New South Wales as much as possible from breaking into Southeast Asia. I guess Cebu can thank their lucky stars that Bunuba is still holding on.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Splendor Sine Occasu

9: Splendor Sine Occasu

Popping north a bit, we find ourselves in the lands of the Tlingit, where the industrial war machine is pumping out gun unit after gun unit in the ever marching push through Pomo lands. Musketmen, line infantry, cannons, skirmishers, cuirassiers and galleons all march southward in the first truly successful war that Tlingit has waged. Already we clearly see five cities that used to belong to Pomo, now mostly in the hands of this Pacific Northwest champion.

Notably, Tlingit has also been filling out spaces in their lands, with two Vancouver Island settlements, one in Haida Gwaii, and one in Prince of Wales Island. These new settlements are arguably not a great move by Tlingit, as they’re cannibalizing tiles from their already established mainland cities, and bumping up the costs of their technologies and policies for potentially not too big of a gain. They at least are new cities for Sgáanaang to take root in, but I’m not sure the benefits outweigh the costs.

Wait a second, is that an INLAND settled city up there Tlingit??

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Schism Heard the World Around

10: A Schism Heard the World Around

After a fairly scathing defeat that Scythia suffered under the hands of Circassia, Ateas has decided to give it another go, now that their empire's happiness problems have been nipped in the bud. With Scythia fielding musketmen alongside their endless expanse of knights, things are actually looking a touch dicey for Circassia this time. Though their Caucasus settlements are well defended and tucked away behind difficult to navigate mountains, Circassia is relatively sparse with units here in the north, and the city of Bygurqal on the Black Sea looks particularly vulnerable.

Interestingly, this Scythia - Circassia divide is also a Catholic and Eastern Orthodox divide. As these two religions battle it out, I think it’s apt to mention that Circassia has the unique ability to let any unit stacked with a missionary move faster through hills, and cross mountains for free. Perhaps this will be the difference maker in catching Scythia's armies out of position.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of And They Said He Couldn’t Play Ball

11: And They Said He Couldn’t Play Ball

Look, I’m sure if you’re a Pomo supporter then this slide is devastating to see, with only two cities currently orange and an ever increasing army marching across Pomo’s borders. But as a Teotihuacan supporter?

I’M FEASTING.

The successful capture of Ta’tem and E’lem mark Teotihuacan’s first and second military victories, putting all of the doubts that Teotihuacan couldn’t be a successful military power to bed. And, with a well timed peace deal to formally secure these cities, Teotihuacan has gotten out of this war with haste, instead of a dragged out long conquest where they throw unit after unit into the fire.

I’m going to be honest though, Teotihuacan probably should have stayed in the war. With Tlingit marching on both Kowi’cal and Co’kadjal, there was a chance that the cities could have been nicked right from under the beak of the big raven. Leaving the war now is at least a decent enough plan, and lets Tlingit take the brunt of the warmongering burden if either civ were to eliminate Pomo.

Also featured here is the Teotihuacan general Shajar al-Durr. Former sultan of Egypt, she took power during the Seventh Crusade with of the death of her husband, and marked the end of the Ayyubid reign and the establishment of the Mamluk dynasty. She may not get to conquer any of Pomo’s lands, but her impact as the founder of the dynasty that would rule until the coming of the Ottomans cannot be overstated.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Where in the World are the Longa Fadas?

12: Where in the World are the Longa Fadas?

With a quick hop, skip and a jump across the pond, we find ourselves in the British Isles, where Umhaill sits with an imposing looking army. Or, imposing if you were in this game 100 turns ago.

 

Fielding mainly carracks and galleases, Umhaill’s standing is decently out of date compared to a lot of the naval powers in this game, and have not capitalized on any opportunity to declare relevant wars, including against their equally coastal neighbour Scotland. Even Xaragua is showing off, sailing their galleons around and within Umhaill waters.

Scotland by the way is sporting their unique musketman replacement, the Hackbutter. A unit that can be purchased with faith, this musketman is stronger when starting its turn adjacent to barbarians ; an ability that tends to be useless unless Mary considers Umhaill a bunch of barbarians. They are, at least, a sign that Scotland is more technologically advanced than Umhaill is, and if blows were to come to blows, the two civs would likely stalemate both on land and sea.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Haven’t We Seen This Same Picture Before?

13: Haven’t We Seen This Same Picture Before?

The Estonia - Bjarmian war continues in ernest, as Bjarmian galleases circle menacingly around Kohtla-Järve, kept at bay by intimidating Estonian frigates. The front has honestly moved very little, but the flipping of Vinuskógr seems like it will go on for ad infinitum. Plenty of Estonian musketmen float in the Baltic Sea, ready to sail back into the port of the city anytime the Bjarmians decide to march a swordsman in.

Back and forth and back and forth, with nobody really making any progress. Nothing ever Bjappens, as the kids say these days.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Raised Road or Path Built Across a Body of Water, Low Ground, or Wetlands

14: A Raised Road or Path Built Across a Body of Water, Low Ground, or Wetlands

Though the armies of Scythia swarm in from the north, Circassia has done what both Bactria and Pakistan could never : capture the city of Sarepta. A thorn in the side of many an empire, Sarepta stood in a position that was hard to assail from the east, but is somewhat breezy to assail from the west.

Or, Circassia is just built differently.

Notably, Circassia seems to be making progress on the core of Phoenicia as well, as trebuchets move into position to properly siege the cities on the Levant. I’m not sure if Ismail Berzeg is a reader of history, but Alexander the Great famously built a causeway into the Mediterranean to assault and capture the city of Tyre in the year of 332 BCE. Though Tyre here isn’t actually an island on the coast, Circassia could still build a causeway if they really wanted to.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of On the Road to North America

15: On the Road to North America

Though the old capital of Ryukyu was the focus on the turn Japan declared war, it is now the old Pomo colonies in Hawaii that are taking the brunt of the fighting damage. Cebu is in hot water as Japanese carracks and musketmen siege the city of Koi, battering down the walls despite the best efforts of galleons trying to beat back the invading forces. Cebu may have the upper hand in the long term with such advanced ships at the defense, but I’m guessing that Koi will be falling to Japanese hands any moment now, and surely Bantayan will be next on the chopping block.

Notably here, both Bantayan and Lalan are not former Pomo cities, having been settled by Cebu themselves. Colour me surprised, as for the past 250 or so turns Cebu has absolutely and unequivocally refused to build a single settler, instead choosing to conquer their way into new cities. I suppose the act of settling has brought down their xDawg scores, as they now fall to foreign musket fire.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Horses Swimming in the Caspian

16: Horses Swimming in the Caspian

Swapping over to the other developing front, Scythia has smartly decided that knights belong in the water, and has embarked their eastern forces into the Caspian Sea. Perhaps they too should build a causeway to make the matter of sieging the city easier. These knights are doing little to nothing at the moment, as they swarm into Circassian lands but haven’t actually dealt any damage to cities. A poor omen for the successes to come.

Notably backing up the rear are a few Scythian Enaree, Great Prophet replacements that negate the negative combat bonuses nearby units receive when attacking cities. They aren’t actually on the frontlines providing these benefits though, instead deciding to hang back, heal units, and smoke that primo kush. Any Holy Sites built when expending the Enaree reveal Hemp underneath them, though from a glance at this slide I think Ateas would rather keep his Enaree than plant them.

Ole Kirk Christiansen visits the frontlines, looking for inspiration within the fields of war. This Danish carpenter initially built furniture, before transitioning to children's toys. After the devastation of World War II, he moved to using plastic, and eventually founded the world renowned Lego company.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Failure to Launch

17: A Failure to Launch

Let me just say, I think that the Seychelles are probably one of the worst land military strategists in this game. As their boats sail around the Arabian Peninsula having a grand old time, Sumerian knights and pikemen march into the lands of Eridu and Baie Sainte Anne ; an absolutely stunning reversal of previous fortunes. I swear I saw Seychelles pushing into Sumer with cannons and musketmen not an episode ago, and yet here we are.

Pakistan exists too in this slide, with a thick carpet of carracks on the sea and crossbowmen on the land. Carracks are pretty out of date at this point, as even Sumer are sporting galleons and frigates in their waters, so I fear for Pakistan's chances if they ever decide to actually go to war with Seychelles or Mysore. Navally, they might end up getting swept up, and I’m sure a fleet of frigates could make work on the 46 strength walls of Karachi in no time. That would be one of the bloodiest city flips we’ve seen in this game.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Stubby Today for a Dollar Tomorrow

18: A Stubby Today for a Dollar Tomorrow

After burning down the city of Darlngunaya and claiming the majority of the outback for themselves, New South Wales has decided to push along the eastern side of Australia for a change, sweeping in with their newly unlocked lancer units. Boasting 25 combat strength and 4 movement, these Lancers might not do too much to the cities themselves but are great at clearing out the knights, crossbowmen and swordsmen that surround Bunuba’s cities.

We do also see the newly minted line infantry and skirmishers milling about in the south. New South Wales has been researching good solid military techs, and if my information is correct are currently working on Fortification, the technology that unlocks Field Cannons. Bunuba may finally have their days numbered as field cannons pump out 48 ranged strength against cities, enough to devastate the defenses of any of the cities in this slide.

Tang stands nearby with an explorer, watching the carnage that has been unfolding for countless years. Both Tang and Teotihuacan cruise their way through New South Wales lands, suggesting that both civs are pretty chummy with the thunder down under. Maybe that’s where both have gotten extra happiness from, luxuries that New South Wales has been trading away.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Hopes (Pillaged!)

19: Hopes (Pillaged!)

Tlingit continues their march through Pomo lands, putting both cities closer and closer to their demise. Po’tol has weathered the storm of reinforcements and looks solidly in Tlingit hands, while Catca’mkau to the north is burning to the ground, baskets and all. We may be looking at the final moments here for Pomo as the only thing that might save them is a well timed peace treaty.

Ponca still stands strong in the Rockies, with their fortress city of Wain-Xude well defended both by the mountains and by their unique unit, the Washa’be. Though their icon may look cavalry-like as I initially thought, this Crossbowman replacement starts with the Cover promotion, and after engaging in combat four times, additionally gains +1 movement and weakens adjacent enemies. I’m not sure how well crossbowmen will do against Anishinaabe citadeling away all of their land, but they sure do look cool at least.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of I’m Not Dead Yet!

20: I’m Not Dead Yet!

Though presumed dead and given a LENGTHY eulogy by the Power Ranking team, Wassoulou still has some fight left in them, as Kankan stands at the red and a half strength swordsman waves the flag of victory before charging into the city. Zazzau certainly took the lion's share of the spoils in this war as Bissandugu looks like a half decent city in its own right, but perhaps if Wassoulou flips the city once more they can steal it right from under the nose of Portugal.

Notably on the side, Pakistan and Circassia make peace, a war that I had personally forgotten about. A very diplomatic move on Ismail’s part, as with the capture of the Phoenicia city, the two civs actually shared a border in which Pakistan could have sent their endless fields of crossbows through. A shame on Pakistan’s part as they really should be using their army for something.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Sometimes You Have to Take a Half Step Back to Take Two Forward

21: Sometimes You Have to Take a Half Step Back to Take Two Forward

As we take a look at Vince McMahon, American Businessman and noted WWE promoter whose expressive performances have been turned into countless memes, we get an opportunity to see the core of the Cebu empire, with Singhapala at a remarkable 37 population. Things are generally peaceful around here, with military ships sailing in and out of Barangays, a Unique Improvement that provides +1 food, as well as +1 gold for every incoming international trade route.

Notably there are a few tiles a bit closer to the Ternate front that are smoking, perhaps from Cebu’s unique ability to pillage their own tiles. Apparently the AI tends to do that when enemy units are nearby, which could explain why the Lanfang boats to the southwest here are so heavily damaged. Perhaps it’s Vince himself, wandering around the countryside burning mines and trading posts down with stacks of dollar bills in hand. The Lanfang would rather tear their own ships apart themselves than face the might of an empire who would employ such a man.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of “I Was Told I Could Find Gold Here”

22: “I Was Told I Could Find Gold Here”

Well, I think Hawaii could certainly use a visit from Vince McMahon, because the Japanese seem to be doing a decent bit of damage on the northern front. Koi has fallen to the surge of musketmen and the city has been put to the torch, while the city of Bantayan seems soon to follow. Cebu’s galleons seem ill equipped to hold back the tide of Japanese units pouring in from the north, as we’re looking likely to see both cities at least flip back and forth a bit.

Nearby, a diverse group of ships look on at the horrors and devastations of war, knowing that they could be next ; either as a victim or as an aggressor. Somehow, it looks like Wallachia has gotten a carrack out into the Pacific. Perhaps they are searching for the islands of spice that are said to shower men in gold and riches? Heavens knows their empire could use the money.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Grudges Against a Ghost

23: Grudges Against a Ghost

Though Ateas is already marching through Circassian lands with iron and gunpowder, his mind is ever on the next victim of conquest. And, why not choose the civilization that has been dead for ten odd episodes to be your next victim? Why Scythia is plotting against Ryukyu of all people is a question for the ages, but at least we get an opportunity to look upon Vyatka’s old stomping grounds.

And what an empire this is. Any spare happiness Scythia has picked up has not been turned into annexing these old Vyatkan cities, but instead used to infill some of the extra space with new settlements. Odessos, Theodosia, and Kerkinitis all bear the shining gleam of cities built upon hundreds of years of bloodshed, and are surely helping keep Scythia's happiness on the brink of red once again. Maybe some prime Enaree hemp could help with any unhappiness.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Nitty Gritty of Modsets

24: The Nitty Gritty of Modsets

Yanomami has certainly taken advantage of Xaragua's sleepiness when it comes to settling the Caribbean. With a chain of new one tile islands settled, all with only a one tile gap between them, it’s fair to say that Yanomami is the most Caribbean of all the civs in this run of the game. Those galleons and frigates served them well in defending their homeland, and we may soon see them turning the tides and capturing Guava or Yaguana once the peace treaty is over.

Speaking of these island settlements though, some people might not be familiar with the settling rules in this season of the CBRX. As in a normal game, settlements usually need three tiles in between each city to be legally settled, with one less required for cities on different landmasses. In the CBRX5, a new mod was introduced to let cities on the coast to be settled only two tiles apart from each other, to help civs with coastal empires compete with the big landlocked ones. Once the game hit turn 200 however, the difference was turned off for stability reasons, and the base settling distance for all cities became two tiles, with one less required for those island cities.

Ergo, 5 cities in this screenshot, all within one tile of another city.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Just Look at How Many People Showed Up For This

25: Just Look at How Many People Showed Up For This

Now this is a little odd.

The world council has gathered to vote on the state of things within the cylinder. At the forefront of this discussion is the declaration that everyone deserves to follow a World Religion, namely Methodism.

With so many religions in this game, we’re likely not going to see Anishinaabe’s proposal go through here, though what a turn of events it would be if it was able to pass. With North America hosting so many religions this season, I’m sure Pontiac is looking for any edge in the religion department. Jokes on him though, as if he just let Tlingit’s Sgáanaang into his lands, he too could be getting +5 science and +5 culture in every city.

I will say, it is nice to see a collection of all the different leader screens in this game. With the majority of the game spent looking at cities and units and the lands that they occupy, it’s always a treat to look at the faces of the people that actually represent all of the civilizations in this game. And, it’s a chance to look at the art that all of the modmakers have put their blood, sweat and tears into bringing these cultures to fruition on the grand scale.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Seas of the Six Generals

26: The Seas of the Six Generals

Cebu continues to push through Ternate, despite being harassed on two sides by arguably more powerful civs. They have put the island of Galela to the torch, leaving Ternate with one last city to their name. New Guinea seems to be their final stand, as galleases circle the water like sharks stalking a lost and lonely seal. And you better believe Cebu smells blood.

Lanfang really only seems nominally invested in the war, as they’ve only sent a few ships into Cebu waters to deal a bit of damage here and there. With enough drive, I could see Lanfang sweeping through and capturing all of these old Ternate cities for themselves, but I suppose the threat of Vince McMahon is enough to keep their ships at bay. It would be nice if they were able to grab the former Ryukyu city of Nakijin in this war, if nothing but to consolidate their hold of their island, but the city seems more than well defended at the moment.

Also, have you noticed that Bunuba has SIX Great Generals here??

CBR In-Game Screenshot of It Took Alexander Six Months to Besiege the City

27: It Took Alexander Six Months to Besiege the City

Phoenicia looks just about as safe as an egg that's been wedged into the mouth of a vice, as both Hyksos and Circassia squeeze and squeeze their Mediterranean cities between the jaws of sea and land. Though the carracks and galleases might not be doing too much, Circassias trebuchets seem at least partially in position, and are throwing rocks and stones into the causeway that Ismail has potentially read so much about.

Though Phoenicia and Hyksos are in the throes of battle, there is at least one thing they can agree on : screw Yunnan, whoever that is. Yunnan seems to have been the newest addition to the list of “Civs that everyone hates for diplomatic reasons” as every single one of the war declarations are from nations that have no contested borders with Yunnan.

Wake me up when one of those notifications is Tang, Lanfang, or Pegu.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Extra Extra : Read All About It

28: Extra Extra : Read All About It

As William Randolph Hearst settles into the plantations of the Potiguara, surely to report on the war status with the Guaycuru, we can see that the bloodshed of Catu isn’t enough for Filipe. The Potiguara have joined the long list of declaring war on Yunnan, one of the eight total civs that are essentially irrelevant to actually contesting any change in borders.

William Randolph Hearst was an American newspaper publisher famous for his yellow journalism, a push to print sensationalist stories with stark, grabbing headlines in an attempt to sell more papers. He’s recently published a new story titled “Silly Potiguara Attacks Enemies with Composite Bowmen”, since the siege of Catu is primarily being conducted by them. For a civ that has already picked up Exploration, Acoustics and even Machinery, it’s baffling that Filipe has not bothered to upgrade his military in the slightest.

It’s equally baffling that Guaycuru and Xavante haven’t crushed Potiguara in this game yet.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of On the Cusp of Greatness. Or Failure

29: On the Cusp of Greatness. Or Failure

We’re seeing the last gasping attempt of Wassoulou to stay in this game, as their swordsman stands with just the tiniest sliver of health, still waving their flag as earnestly as ever. With two fresh Portuguese knights bearing down, and plenty of navy to reinforce, I think it’s fair to say that there is no chance Wassoulou can get back into this game. Portugal has even stopped razing Kankan to the ground, meaning there’s no chance that Wassoulou could recover out of the 59th eliminated spot they seem to be relegated to.

Looking to Zazzau and Aures though, it’s surprising how sparse both civs appear at the moment. Zazzau is sporting plenty of Yan Lifida, and with some trebuchets and longswordsmen to back them up, they could potentially get an opportunistic city capture against either Aures or Portugal if they were to launch an attack right now.

Zazzau has really had a glow-up since the beginning of this game, after losing both space and cities to Aures. With their Unique Ability to gain military research when earning a Great General, these wars with their neighbours have helped keep them technologically relevant, and able to keep fighting back against Aures and Ethiopia. Zazzau has definitely performed better as an underdog than Wassoulou.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Yesaul is a Rank Within a Cossack Unit

30: A Yesaul is a Rank Within a Cossack Unit

The declaration of yet another diplomatic coalition, this time against Ethiopia, gives us the opportunity to take a look at Green Ukraine. One of the most Potential Civs we’ve seen in recent history, Green Ukraine had a big push and settled a bunch of land, but ultimately has been reduced to a border state between the major powers of the far eastern limits of Asia.

They do have plenty of their Exiled Yesaul wandering around, a great general replacement that is also earned by great writer points and converts culture into tourism when stationed in a city. Yurii Hlushko seems keen to station them right outside of cities instead, marveling at the Potential tourism they could generate if he actually decided to garrison them properly.

Itelmen here is also looking really good, with an empire worshipping Sgáanaang and a few well placed citadels eating away at Green Ukraine's lands. Notably, though the Itelmen have been resistant to settling their own river cities, Hiroshima and Nikolaevsk-Ussurisky are both situated on a river.

Perhaps the only way the Itelmen will take advantage of their UA and UB is through the conquest of Asia.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Collection of Elements

31: A Collection of Elements

As Set decrees, enough bloodshed has spilled upon the soils of the Levant. Set demands their followers, loyal and devoted Hyksos, to cease their aggression and make peace with the Phoenicians.

And once again, Hyksos falls into a deep slumber. With no material gains against either Ethiopia or Phoenicia, it’s fair to say that they are one of the sleepiest and ineffective civs in the game right now. They at least have a near monopoly on the religious beliefs in Africa and the surrounding regions, but otherwise are set to stay comfortably along the Nile it seems.

Circassia however continues their war against Phoenicia, damaging the cities of Sidon, Akko, and Tyre. Crossbowmen and trebuchets continue to bombard the walls, though without Hyksos’ naval support the attacks may end up being a bit more drawn out than before. Circassia and Hyksos still are at war mind you, so we could see a city flip from purple to green to black in short order. Perhaps Ismail should consider building a defensive causeway.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Shadows of the Faroes

32: Shadows of the Faroes

Scotland has decided to join the war coalition against Ethiopia, alongside Pakistan who joined in the last slide. This perhaps is a show of force, a declaration to their neighbours that they are more than willing to war if the reasons are just and the spoils are rich. And with a carpet of carracks, galleases, and Hackbutters, their army certainly looks visually intimidating.

With nearly a quarter of the cylinder well into the enlightenment era when it comes to navies though, all of the civs in this screenshot looks quite out of date. For being the eminent naval empires in the North Atlantic, both Scotland and the Kalmar Union have units that are eras behind. The moment someone can grab galleons and frigates, the whole dynamic of the region could break wide open, whether that’s the already dominant Scotland, or one of the civs on the periphery.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of To the Torch Once More

33: To the Torch Once More

You have got to be kidding me.

Wallachia, after fighting their forgotten war against the Hanseatic League for who knows how long, has pulled a similar move during their war with France and capitulated their city to end the conflict. And, just like what happened last time, the Hanseatic League has set Buzau ablaze, intent on burning it to the ground.

Wallachia seems very much out of position here, with only a single tile line connecting Turnu to the core of their empire. Scythia, the Papal States, and the Hanseatic League press in on all sides, leaving Vlad’s chances in this game ever diminishing. Their geographical positioning and their unique temple replacement will at least make another attack difficult, giving -10% combat strength to enemy units within 2 tiles of a Wallachian city.

One good thing to come from the burning of Buzau however, is the potential for France or the Papal States to infill the area with cities. Due to the 2 tile distance settling rules in play right now, the wide swath of borders could probably fit four new cities, if the AI collaborated and settled minimum distances from each other.

As if they’d ever collaborate.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Forges Blaze With Steel and Song

34: The Forges Blaze With Steel and Song

As Pomo continues to fight for their life against the onslaught of skirmishers and cannons, lets take a moment to appreciate the raw production output that Tlingit has.

Episode by episode, Tlingit has managed to top the charts to an insane degree, often having 100 or 200 more production than the second place competitor. The hilly and forested terrain of the Pacific Northwest have certainly been treating them well, in addition to the +1 production they’ve been getting from sea resources and atolls due to their religious beliefs.

The Tlingit are also one of the only civs in this game to have researched Flintlock, a key tech in their overwhelming military might. In addition to unlocking line infantry and skirmishers, they also have access to the Gunsmith, a building that provides an extra +25% production towards producing gunpowder units. Such raw productive output to the military cause is a horrifying thought to anyone supporting any other North American civ in this game, Pomo especially.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Call to Arms for the Ever Faithful

35: A Call to Arms for the Ever Faithful

As we see a swathe of war declarations happen against Bunuba, it’s notable to see that all of the aggressors are followers of Pachaism. Caral, seemingly driven by hate for Ngarranggarni, has decided to consolidate polynesia under the one true faith, and has roped in all of the other believers to support their cause.

This is of course a direct result of the Holy War mod added into the CBRX5, making all nearby civilizations following each respective religion to join into war when one religious founder declares war on another. It seems there aren’t enough followers of Ngarranggarni besides Bunuba to make this conflict even on both sides, but I fear most of Caral's allies are on the ineffective eastern side of North America.

Important to note here, although Caral is the aggressor in this war, Hanga Piko and Potao are both cut off from the core of their empire by New South Wales and Tang’s borders. Caral at least has a sizable fleet of Frigates and Galleons, but there is a chance that Bunuba could threaten either of these cities. Maybe a holy war wasn’t the best idea after all.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Vote for Pontiac? What a Maniac

36: Vote for Pontiac? What a Maniac

With the results of the World Congress officially posted, we can see that Anishinaabe never had a chance of getting Methodism voted in as the World Religion. Though plenty of their own cities have been converted, thirteen alone in this one slide, it seems that religions like Pesedjet and Shaktism have just a little bit more reach.

Anishinaabe as a civ however looks really decent. They might not quite have the productive capabilities of their coastally inclined western neighbour, but with plenty of cities and a fully carpeted great lakes, they could be a force to be reckoned with. It is perhaps a bit concerning to see just how flat their empire is, and how easy it might be to march a force full of gunpowder units across those great plains of the midwest.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of I Guess that Magellan Guy was Onto Something

37: I Guess that Magellan Guy was Onto Something

As opposed to the results of the World Religion vote, the Embargo against Qara-Khitai has passed with flying colours. It seems Ket has enough sway in people's opinions, or Qara has built up enough malice, that people have decided sending trade routes into Central Asia is a no good very bad idea. I guess someone must have discovered that vast seaworthy trade networks are actually a solid idea.

Qara-Khitai looks quite intimidating with their vast armies of Ordo Cavalrymen, but time and opportunities are slowly slipping away. Though the Ordo Cavalrymen can easily get up to Cuirassier strength by moving 10 tiles, or even up to Cavalry strength with enough distance, their neighbours are starting to field their own stronger and more advanced units as the world marches into the gunpowder era. Now that Rouran has picked up Cuirassiers for themselves, the only viable target for Qara-Khitai may be the Kipchaks to their west.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Even Pegu Hates This Guy

38: Even Pegu Hates This Guy

A haggard messenger from the far east staggers into Amina's palace, and presents a tightly rolled scroll to the queen. She unfurls the scroll and reads the message aloud to her court.

“Everyone Hates Ethiopia!”

She knew that, of course. Zazzau and Ethiopia have been in and out of war for years. Fatika was even wrongfully claimed by Zara Yaqob 70 turns ago. So, partly for diplomatic favour, and partly because her armies have nothing better to do, Zazzau once again declares war on Ethiopia.

With a sparse Ethiopian interior, and Yan Lifida already on the border, Zazzau looks to have a serious advantage here. Fatika is immediately in danger of being recaptured, and Mek’ele could be not that far behind it. Zazzau is proving that they really have that underdog spirit to compete in this game, as Aures seems to have stagnated in their stead.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Itinerant Preachers

39: Itinerant Preachers

Speaking of underdog spirit, Cebu has really done well in pushing back the Japanese aggressors, recapturing Koi and driving all but one of Japan’s navy from their borders. This conflict doesn’t seem quite over though, as Japan has built their own fleet of galleons to push into the Hawaiian colonies. Sporting an impressive 28 combat strength, galleons aided by galleases could reasonably threaten every one of Cebu’s cities on screen, depending on if Humabon can manage his defenses well or not.

Out in the middle of the deep Pacific Ocean, Tlingit missionaries brave the rough and lonely waters to spread Sgáanaang across the world. Their missionaries seem to have safe harbour in Japanese lands, as a galleon sails just north of Nagoya, watching over the progress of the war. It seems Hideyoshi knows the influence of these foreign preachers is beneficial to his empire, and welcomes them into the warfront with open arms.

Tlingit just wants to erase every mention of Pomo from the map, whether it be the teachings of Bole Maru or the cities that founded it.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Last Stand on Amami Ōshima

40: The Last Stand on Amami Ōshima

Japan is also testing their newly built fleet of galleons on the former capital of Ryukyu, as the ships attempt to push through the blockade. A single Timawa stands fortified on the front, ready to pillage the plantation at its feet to damage the oncoming fleet. With Shuri a fair distance from the rest of Cebu’s empire, there is definitely a chance that it falls into Hideyoshi’s hands.

Tang sits nearby, their powerful oceanic fleet waiting in small pockets of water carved from the vast seas that Japan controls. Their frigates outclass anything the Japanese navy has seen, and privateers now circle the waters as well, waiting for their moment to streak in and raid the coasts. Tang perhaps isn’t in the greatest position to declare war, with a currently negative happiness score, but their naval strength is certainly enough to stop any opportunistic attacks.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Peace is Much More Precious Than a Piece of Land

41: Peace is Much More Precious Than a Piece of Land

Once more, New South Wales and Bunuba declare peace, with little to actually show for all of their fighting. Other than smoky skies and slightly damaged walls, both civs leave this conflict thinking “yeah, that certainly showed them.”

New South Wales, however, is definitely in a better position to rebuild after the conflict. Though they don’t quite have the productive might behind them like the Tlingit does, their advanced military suggest they have access to their own Gunsmiths. The keen eyed reader will also notice a field gun stationed in the city of Hobart, the next step in siege warfare that boasts a terrifying 48 combat strength against cities. Not a single one of Bunuba’s cities could bear bombardment from such a weapon for very long, and John Macarthur has all of 10 turns to pump out as many field guns he can muster before the peace treaty expires.

Not much progress has occurred between Caral and Bunuba. Some light skirmishes have resulted in bruised decking and bent masts, but Caral has yet to commit the brunt of their forces on the attack. Once they do though, New South Wales will get the chance to see what real naval warfare actually looks like.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of 1,800 Against an Army of 40,000

42: 1,800 Against an Army of 40,000

The Seychelles war front has stagnated a bit, as Sumer has halted their units in the sandy deserts just outside of Baie Sainte Anne. Torii Mototada, a samurai and daimyo of the Sengoku period, leads the composite bowmen and pikemen in an outdated and outclassed offensive. Mototada served Tokugawa Ieyasu in our own world's history, and eventually died at the siege of Fushimi, where his defending garrison was greatly outnumbered and outclassed by the attacking armies of Ishida Mitsunari.

At least he’s on the offensive this time.

While distracted on land, Seychelles has also lost their gains on the sea, as Phoenicia has managed to capture Manhiyat back and push their navy to the Gulf of Aden. With only caravels against the opposing galleons, Hiram has managed quite the impressive feat, though I fear this victory won’t last long.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of They Researched Machinery on Turn 232

43: They Researched Machinery on Turn 232

After years of intensely worded letters sent back and forth between the two leaders, Spearthrower Owl and Apoena have decided that writing kind letters to each other would be a nice change of pace, and make peace. Luckily for Xavante, they didn't decide to gift away a city during the peace negotiations, as they did with Caral years ago.

Surprisingly, Xavante and Potiguara are not currently at war, despite the many Potiguaran units within the borders of Etenhiritpa. The two powers, after years of being at each other's throats, have decided to allow for open borders, so their death metal and shrimp can flow freely between the two cultures. This open borders policy is certainly helpful for Potiguara as they assault the city of Catu, though they still are merely fielding composite bowmen instead of anything actually effective.

Not even the city is damaged.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Break in the Line

44: A Break in the Line

After years of bombardment, guided by Horatio Nelson himself, Circassia has managed to push through and capture the city of Akko. Whether Horatio was spawned the moment Circassia seized the city, or was a Phoenician admiral that was captured and turned in the siege, is a question for the history books.

Horatio Nelson was a British Vice-Admiral who led multiple decisive battles against the French during the Napoleonic wars, and is regarded as one of the greatest admirals in history. His grasp of strategy and unconventional tactics was renowned by many, but from my quick readthrough of his accomplishments it doesn’t seem like he ever employed causeways in his strategies.

Circassia seems to be doing well on both fronts, as up along the Scythian border it seems that Ismail is making decent progress against the invading knights. A few smoking fields are signs that things aren’t going perfectly up there, but no damaged cities and Bygurqal still standing suggest Ismail will come out of both of these wars with his head held high.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Malvinas of the Black Sea

45: The Malvinas of the Black Sea

Well, maybe I spoke a bit too soon.

Though the cities are still not damaged, the Scythian war effort looks quite intimidating. Carlos III of Spain leads a large contingent of musketmen and knights into the lands of Bygurqal. If Carlos is able to direct the trebuchets fortified in Theodosia, Neapolis and Nikulitsyn to the frontlines, the city could reasonably fall in short order.

Carlos III of Spain, or Carlos Sebastian de Borbon y Farnesio in Spanish, was King of Spain from 1759 until his death in 1788. Carlos fought hard to preserve Spain's colonial holdings as the power and influence of Great Britain was growing, allying his kingdom with the French Bourbons. He ultimately lost Florida to the British, and had to cede territory in the Falkland Islands, showing the British Empire that Spanish domination of the seas was on the decline.

Not a good sign for Scythia, to be frank.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Malvinas of the Atlantic Ocean

46: The Malvinas of the Atlantic Ocean

Speaking of the Falkland Islands, or the Islas Malvinas for our spanish speaking readers, Guaycuru has done well in fortifying their hold of the territory, with their city Jesus Maria being the largest in their empire. Chono really missed out on settling this and the other small islands dotting the seas to the east, but with frigates and galleons floating nearby, I’m sure they could take the city if they really wanted to.

Part of the massive population on this island is Howard Hughes, an American business magnate, aerospace engineer, and film producer. Hughes gained notoriety in Hollywood for producing many films in the late 1920s, such as The Racket, Hell’s Angels, and Scarface, before pivoting into the aerospace industry to build airplanes and set multiple world air speed records.

Whether Guaycuru has much of an aerospace or film industry at this point of time is debatable, but I’m sure the citizens of Jesus Maria think he’s a big shot.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Changing of the Crown

47: The Changing of the Crown

It seems like Torii Mototada isn’t having much of an effect on the Sumerian war effort, as the city of Baie Sainte Anne has only a sliver of damage. The units look haggard, baked by the beating sun and peppered by garrisoned crossbow fire.

Ethiopia on the other hand is certainly taking a beating. With two cannons set up outside the city of Mbewe, the city's walls are quickly falling, and there are plenty of musketmen and knights ready to charge the gates. Ethiopia is looking to be in a rough spot here, assaulted on both sides by empires that are fielding more impressive units. If Seychelles can push through and assault Ethiopia’s capital, they stand to gain a highly defensive and highly productive foothold on the African mainland.

This is truly the end of the era of Aures, and the beginning of the era of Seychelles.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of What a Wicked Tale the Tlingit Weave

48: What a Wicked Tale the Tlingit Weave

War Report : Pomo is still losing.

Tlingit continues to march their armies upon the capital of Co’kadjal, as the city slips to nearly half health under the bombardment of skirmishers and galleases. Line infantry circle the city, as Pomo’s defending longswordsmen are picked off one by one. With skirmishers boasting a ranged strength of 25, and cannons coming into position, it’s only a matter of time before the seat of Bole Maru falls.

On the other side of the world, King Ioann Anikiev Myshkin of Vyatka has decided to join most of the rest of the cylinder in the Renaissance Era. Through what technology, we don’t exactly know, but Vyatka is certainly behind the curve as they have 20 less researched technologies than the current leaders of the scientific community. At least they get a cumulative bonus on researching technologies other civs already have.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of You Told Me it Would Be Different This Time

49: You Told Me it Would Be Different This Time

After years of bloody conflict, Estonia and the Bjarmians have decided that enough is enough, and make white peace.

The gains that Estonia made? The city of Vinuskogr that was flipped countless times? The fleet of frigates that continued to bombard the city's walls for hundreds of years?

Nah, Estonia doesn’t care. Estonia is built different, they’re fine ceding all of their gains.

All that’s left of the war is a scattered collection of injured regiments, and enough smoke and ash to block out the sky for a year. The rivers surrounding Vinuskogr will run red with the blood of Bjarmian citizens for years, and both Lennart Mari and Hárekr will hold their grudges for a hundred more years to come.

Nothing ever Bjappens.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Red of Hair, Not of Blood

50: Red of Hair, Not of Blood

Lanfang has finally made a concerted war effort as the fleet of Erik the Red pushes into Cebu’s territory and cuts off access to Parlan. Though Erik’s fleet mainly consists of outdated galleases, the sheer number of them assisted by galleons and directions from the admiral should be enough to slowly wear through the city's walls.

Erik the Red was a Norse explorer famed in Icelandic sagas for founding the Norse colonies of Greenland. He was supposedly not named the Red for the bloodshed he caused, but for the colour of his hair and beard. Born originally in Norway, his family was exiled to Iceland for his fathers acts of manslaughter, where he grew up and was eventually exiled for his own acts of manslaughter.

Cebu here looks quite capable for a civ that’s fighting three wars at once. Their carpet of galleasses and Timawa look at least visually intimidating, and with some swift moves, their navy could sweep in and capture Erik the Red for themselves. Maybe Humabon will exile him to Australia next.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of National Lampoon’s Guaycuru Invasion

51: National Lampoon’s Guaycuru Invasion

As we visit the Rio de la Plata region, we once again see the stalemate of the Guaycuru - Potiguara war, as Felipe continues to throw units away in a pointless conflict that’s going nowhere. John Landis stands nearby, film camera in hand recording the carnage and laughing to himself at how pointless this all seems, as a longswordsman nearby is bombarded by arrows from Sombrero Negro.

John Landis, American filmmaker and actor, is famous for his wide array of comedy films. With hits like Animal House, the Blues Brothers, the Three Amigos and Coming to America, he is well known for his impact on American cinema during the 80s and 90s. He even filmed the music videos for Michael Jackson’s Thriller and Black or White.

To the south of Guaycuru, Chono has taken advantage of a citadel placement to sneak the city of Leucayes along the fertile river's edge. The city now stands in the way of the road connecting Cachoeira and San Martin Del Tabacal to the capital, presumably as a roadside toll for any trade to and from the surrounding areas. I bet John Landis is filming that too, laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Salt in the Wounds

52: Salt in the Wounds

This war seems to be hand made to cause Orangechrisy, the author of the Pomo mod, as much pain and anguish as humanly possible. As the two remaining cities continue their long drawn out sieges, Tlingit continues to salt the earth, collapse the mines, and crush the hopes and dreams of the remaining military that Essie is using to valiantly fight on.

I’d say that it’s nearly impossible for Pomo to hold out anymore. Both Co’kadjal and Kowi’cal are deep in the red, with line infantry right next to each city ready to march through the gates. The site where Catca’mkau stood to the north stands as a grim reminder of what Tlingit intends to do to these two cities when they are able to capture them, and the only units available to attempt a recapture are two longswordsmen that are already at half health.

Someone prepare the eulogy, because it looks like we’re on the brink of an elimination.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Song of Science and Culture

53: A Song of Science and Culture

In the midst of this devastation, the world has marched their way into the Enlightenment Era, as firearms and free thinking become well accepted by at least half of the contenders in this game. The Enlightenment Era mod has plenty of interesting buildings, units, and effects, and I’m personally always peeking at the guide displayed on the official mod page to see just what sort of benefits are being unlocked as this game progresses.

My personal favourites are probably the Academy and the Salon, two buildings unlocked at Humanism that grant +25% science and +25% culture respectively. Each city in an empire may only have an Academy OR a Salon, so which one the AI chooses to build is of important strategic note.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Reclaiming their People

54: Reclaiming their People

Queen Amina of the Zazzau has certainly made an impact in this war so far, as her forces rush to reclaim Fatika just off of the shores of Lake Chad. Longswordsmen battle their way through Ethiopian forces with a fervor, reaching close to both Mek’ele and Gondar as. And with plenty of reinforcements moving their way through Zazzau's core, Amina seems primed to enact her hatred for Ethiopia in a splendor of steel and blood.

Luba just to the south looks somewhat sparse and undefended, as the city of Kitabi only has two units within their borders. A trade route to Ethiopia suggests the two civilizations are on good terms, so the coming of Zazzau into the region could spell doom for the city. Kitabi’s east is much flatter than its west, and much more susceptible to units flooding in across the meandering Chari river. Luba might want to jump in to Ethiopia’s aid before the city is completely surrounded by Zazzau’s lands.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Myth of Sisyphus

55: The Myth of Sisyphus

It seems I am tortured to write about two wars again and again in this episode : Pomo vs Tlingit and Potiguara vs Guaycuru. The former at least is a little bit more interesting as there is measurable progress being made, but the latter seems to have the same state of affairs every time I am forced to write a slide about it. Potiguara once again hasn’t upgraded their composite bowmen, and once again hasn’t done any measurable damage to the city of Catu. I snooze.

Off in Xavante lands, Tina Turner makes her way over to Mision el Toba, presumably to star in John Landis’ newest hit comedy. Dubbed the Queen of Rock n’ Roll, Tina has put out countless classic R&B and Soul hits, such as Whats Love Got to do With It and The Best. She’s also starred in a collection of movies, including Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.

Way off in the distance, New South Wales has built the Smithsonian Institute. I hope we get to see where it was constructed.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Three Religions

56: The Three Religions

We get a brief reminder that Caral is conducting a holy war against Bunuba, as their galleon slams into the city of Galamunda. A fleet of fishers to the west and a fleet of frigates to the east display the dichotomy of Caral’s naval power, one of which is presumably on their way to reinforce the lone galleon.

I’m going to take this opportunity to selfishly talk about Teotihuacan, who have set up quite the polynesian empire. With four cities to their name, the waters here are rich with fish and support a growing population of people, all devout followers of Tlateomatiliztli instead of the more common Pachaism or Ngarranggarni.

Teotihuacan has notably settled so many cities that they’ve used up all of the names on their civilizations city list. Sippar and Umma are both Sumerian city names, with Kooja also potentially being on that list. Okaseta on the other hand is likely to be from the Herero city names list, being a city in modern day Namibia. I guess Spearthrower Owl’s empire has expanded beyond his wildest dreams.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

57: Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

Horrible news for Cebu here, as the city of Koi has been razed to the ground. Continued fighting on what might be the Hawaiian island of Oʻahu has left the buildings in ruin, the crops in ashes, and the people slain. The brutality of this conquest goes to show just how bloodthirsty Hideyoshi is, and how far he’s willing to go to stop the biggest dawg in the CBRX’s history from achieving greatness.

Missionaries of Sgáanaang are horrified by the bloodshed, keeping well away from the violence that has just occurred. They certainly wanted Pomo to no longer have any influence on the islands, but just to get rid of the influences of Bole Maru. Leave the city razing for the mainland.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of This Dog is Losing Their Bite

58: This Dog is Losing Their Bite

We get a shot here of the remnants of Ternate’s empire, notably sparse from Cebu’s fleets. Erik the Red in the north continues fighting valiantly on the siege of Parlan, and Lanfang begins to bring their galleases to bear on the city of Sidangoli, hoping the lack of defenses means an easy city capture is to come.

Lanfang also prepares to besiege the city of Nakijin, with a cannon moving into position to bombard the walls. The city has been a thorn in the side of Luo Fangbo for too long, after Ryukyu dared to settle it so close to the seat of his power. With no sight of Vince McMahon, maybe this is his chance to finally take the city for himself.

Only a burned plantation and a lone fishing boat remain of the former Ternate city of Galela, burned to the ground as Cebu attempts to manage their happiness. One city remains of this Indonesian empire, as Soahsio holds the remnants of Babullah’s court. Cebu’s navy in the area seems sparse, so Ternate may live another episode, but they were certainly on the knife's edge before the coalition started.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Following in John Davis’ Footsteps

59: Following in John Davis’ Footsteps

It turns out Mysore and New South Wales have been at war since two episodes ago, and that war is finally beginning to bear some fruit. Galleons sail across the frigid waters to the Antarctic ice sheets, where Tellicherry and Madikeri are nestled. Though the New South Wales fleet looks imposing, and even has some gunpowder units to provide additional firepower, I’m not sure if such a melee focused fleet can make progress against cities defended by cannons.

To the north, a massive contingent of galleons making their way along the top of the screen. Also backed by cannon fire, there’s a good chance those ships are making their way to the core of Mysore’s empire, which is generally well defended but does hold a few vulnerable coastal cities. There’s a chance we might see more than these Antarctic cities fall in this episode.

Still no sign of the Smithsonian Institute by the way. I guess the wonder might not be that good.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Next Domino Falls

60: The Next Domino Falls

Hope of Pomo surviving this war grows smaller and smaller, as the city of Kowi’cal is captured with no way to flip back in sight. This city has not been put to the torch fortunately, but remains as an encircling tool to keep continuous pressure on Pomo’s capital.

The two longswordsmen stand fortified and ready in the face of continued onslaught, as line infantry and skirmishers continue to circle the city. A lone Xaa stands next to one of them, watching the devastation unfold. He knows what will happen when this last bastion is captured, and what his people will do to the followers of Bole Maru. Not a pretty sight indeed.

Ponca sits uneasily to the east, in their fortress bastion of Wain-Xude. Their people still follow Bole Maru, and cut off from their core by the Anishinaabe, will probably remain culturally tied to the remnants of Pomo. Many Pomo refugees fled from Kowi’cal to this bastion, and White Eagle happily let them in. He knows that his empire might be the next under the heel of military conquest.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Luo World Order

61: The Luo World Order

With the transition to the Enlightenement Era comes another meeting of the world council to determine the state of the world, and Luo Fanbong has made a stand. Though he may be known as The Conqueror, he feels that the world has seen too much bloodshed (from other people), and declares himself leader of the Council of Kellog.

And with that declaration, we get a chance to peer at the core of Lanfang's empire.

Luo Fanbong has made good use of their unique ability, building plenty of mines on the flatlands of the Indonesian islands. Each city here that has at least four mines has likely let Lanfang adopt the opening policies of each Social Policy Branch for free. Though social policy openers don’t show on the stats sheet, I can see at least six cities that have four workable mines, meaning that Lanfang may be one of the most socially broad empires on the entire cylinder.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Wood, Sheep, Ore, Wheat, Brick

62: Wood, Sheep, Ore, Wheat, Brick

Finally we get the chance to see the Smithsonian Institute, an Enlightenment Era wonder with a score of 5/10. Built on Tasmania in the city of Richmond Hill, the Smithsonian Institute provides a base +1 culture, +3 science, and +2 Great Scientist point to the city it was constructed. In addition, it provides +150 raw science when expending a great person, as well as a free Academy in the city in which the city was built.

The wonder seems quite decent for New South Wales here, as they are definitely high in scientific potential but haven't quite caught up with Tlingit or Tang. Those additional bursts of science, as well as the +25% science that the academy provides, could help New South Wales nudge their way into the position of leading academic figure on the cylinder.

All from an island with only two mines, a lumbermill and some sheep in the way of productive capabilities.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Roar of Gunpowder and the Singing of Bowstrings

63: The Roar of Gunpowder and the Singing of Bowstrings

Old Sheehays continues his march onto Ponca’s lands, with his Iae’aetsin musketmen leading the charge across the two tile gap in between Karankawa and Anishinaabe lands. The chokepoint of units favours Ponca in this conflict, with plenty of Washa’be holding the line in the face of this invasion. It’s likely that these crossbowmen replacements have been able to engage in combat four times, unlocking their additional movement and weakening any of Susquehannock’s units that dare to get close.

Anishinaabe to the north is worryingly sparse in this neck of the woods, with most of Ponca’s former lands looking ill defended. We have seen their armies to the north that look well enough fortified, but it seems like Pontiac thinks Ponca is too preoccupied defending their lands to bother launching a counterattack. Hopefully this judgement call doesn’t come back to bite him, as I’m sure White Eagle would be more than happy to reclaim his former capital.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Reconquista

64: Reconquista

The successes of war ring clear as Zazzau manages to retake their city, with only a paltry Ethiopian force poised to take it back. With so many units in the area, Queen Amina seems keen to continue pushing into Ethiopian lands, and the flat plains of the Sahara make that prospect seem more than ideal. Mek’ele seems next on the chopping block as Zazzau units begin positioning themselves around the city, and trebuchets roll along the roads that lead to Kuta.

Aures stands idly by, watching the movement of troops with a scattered array of musketmen. Long ago, Dihya surged through Zazzau lands, leading Zenata Riders to capture the city of Turunku. Now it is Zazzau that is fighting wars of conquest, and such capable militaries at such close of a distance is a concerning prospect.

Maybe I should do something about this, Dihya thinks.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Questionable Military Decisions

65: Questionable Military Decisions

Though the countryside of Parlan is ravaged and worn, Lanfang is not content with the amount of bloodshed they’ve caused. Enraged at the lack of progress, they decide to send their military forces into battle, not into the throes of Parlan, but instead into the forces of Geiju.

Attacking Yunnan at this time is certainly a questionable choice. Though Lanfang does have muskets they can bring to bear, Yunnan has a much more comprehensive army, with longswordsmen already prepared at the border. Capturing the city of Geiju would at least allow Lanfang to make an attempt on Dagon and the illustrious Gate of the Golden Sun, but with such a lacking land army I think the execution of such an attack might have been misguided.

Yunnan, who like Potiguara are still sporting composite bowmen, do have one thing up their sleeve : a capital boasting an astronomical 88 defensive strength. That capital may not be relevant to this conflict, and also may not be the largest due to Ket and their religious beliefs, but is at least a scary thing to think about.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Song of Shaka and Set

66: A Song of Shaka and Set

Circassia continues their assault on Phoenicia, with Akko securely within their grasp. To assist on the continued assault of Tyre and the surrounding countryside, Ismail has decided to recruit Shaka as a general of great renown.

Shaka was a king of the Zulu Kingdom from 1816 to 1828, famed for being arguably the most recognizable Zulu figure in history. Shaka revolutionized Zulu warfare by introducing the iklwa as a shorter replacement to the long throwing spear used in Zulu combat, and pioneered using the “Bull Horn” formation, consisting of the chest, the horns, and the loins as a three part organization. Shaka leads the Zulus in Civilization 1 to 6, meaning you’ve likely already heard of him if you’re at all familiar with the Civilization franchise.

Whether Shaka is familiar with causeways is a different story.

Circassia has failed to take advantage of any defensive causeways in their continued attack on Phoenicia, and through some shrewd diplomacy the Hyksos fleet has gained open borders, allowing their galleasses and crossbowmen to assist in defending Tyre from their attackers. What was once enemies has become friends as both Hiram and Apophis are committed to stopping all of this causeway nonsense from ever materializing.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Mainland Looms

67: The Mainland Looms

Hideyoshi continues his attack on the former capital of Shuri, as more units move into position. Devastatingly, a lone musketman stands on the plantation tile outside of the city, meaning that the fortified Timawa has either perished or fled. The smoking remains indicate that the Timawa at least managed to pillage its own improvement to damage the incoming fleet, in an act of pure heroism that encapsulates how Cebu has played this game so far,

As the city of Shuri is slowly besieged, we get a glimpse of the monster that lurks in the shadows. Tang is big, strong, and has plenty of coastal cities to pump out ships of their own. The last time I checked, Tang was working on researching Manufacturing, an Enlightenment era technology that both reveals coal and enables the construction of the Cloth Mill, a building that boosts production in the city by +10%. This increase could help them match the productive might of Tlingit, and could certainly dwarf either Japan or Cebu in raw naval output.

Meanwhile, New South Wales decides they hate Pegu. For reasons, I suppose.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Your Worst Fears Have Been Realized

68: Your Worst Fears Have Been Realized

And just like that, the city of Co’kadjal falls.

The seat of Essie Parrish, Pomo fought valiantly against constant wars, but finally fell to the might of the gunpowder empire. And, just to rub salt in the wound, the Tlingit have settled a new city to commemorate the moment, with K’udeis X’e founded on the ashes of Catca’mkau.

All is not lost however, as just like the Wassoulou, Pomo has a melee unit next to the city, still waving the flag of defiance against such tyranny. Co’kadjal has but a sliver of health remaining, so that Pomo longswordsman could still make a valiant push to retake the capital and potentially peace out just in time to save Pomo from the depths of elimination. With a Bole Maru missionary watching in ernest, the Spirits of the Four Directions may yet be with Essie in this episode. To march from the east perhaps is the new beginning for Pomo, the birth of a new era of Pomo defiance against these invaders, and for a chance to still remain in this game.

I wonder how Wassoulou is doing actually, we haven’t seen them in quite a while.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Horn of Africa

69: The Horn of Africa

Seychelles has done well in this war against Ethiopia, pushing hard against Mbewe and capturing the city before peacing out to end the conflict. Their cannons were instrumental in tearing down the city walls, and now Seychelles has a solid route in the future towards the core of Ethiopia's empire.

I almost wonder if they stopped just a bit too soon though. With a collection of musketmen and cannons still at the frontlines, the city of Roha could have been the final push before the war was declared over. Roha of course is the city that contains the Statue of Zeus, one of the best wonders by rating in the CBRX. Though the city itself has a high defensive strength, and the city of Debre Berhan standing on the flank, the risks might just have been worth it for such a tantalizing prize.

In the Gulf of Adan, the Seychelles admiral Gaius Duilius leads the push back into the red sea, to reclaim Manhiyat after Phoenicia reclaimed it for themselves. Gaius Duilius was a Roman general who fought in the First Punic War, securing Rome’s first ever naval victory against Carthage. Forgoing traditional naval combat, Gaius used boarding parties to transform the naval battlefield into one that more matched traditional Roman land combat techniques. Perhaps he’ll board his way into the city

CBR In-Game Screenshot of As Seen On TV

70: As Seen On TV

We once again get to see the absolute mess that is the North Sea, with Umhaill, Scotland, the Kalmar Union and the Hanseatic League all vying for some form of supremacy over the region. None of the civs are yet to have fielded advanced naval units, except for Umhaill whose galleon replacement the Longa Fada is still noticeably absent from the region.

Scotland seems to have employed Kálmán Tihanyi in consolidating and improving their core cities. Originally a Hungarian physicist, electrical engineer and inventor, Kálmán is famous for his development of the cathode ray tube, to be used in CRT TVs, as well as the first infrared video cameras and the first panel plasma display. His patent for Radioskop is recorded in the UNESCO’s Memory of the World International Register.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Bygurqal Stands

71: Bygurqal Stands

Ateas’ siege of Bygurqal seems to be going just about as well as Ismail’s siege of Campulung, as not a single bit of damage has been dealt to the city. Circassian galleasses circle in the Black Sea, taking potshots at any Scythian unit that dares to step within one tile of the city.

Meanwhile, David Crosby tours the core of Scythia's empire, presumably playing some folk rock hits to the crowds of Neapolis. David Crosby was an American singer, songwriter and guitarist that started his career as a member of the Byrds, before transitioning into the Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young group. There he met Graham Nash, who David Crosby would work with for 50 years as an occasional solo artist / occasional duo. David Crosby was a pioneer of Folk Rock in the 60s and onwards, and an outspoken advocate for American counterculture.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Chile of the East

72: The Chile of the East

Let's take a moment to bask in the greatness of Herero’s empire, and look at the remnants of Maravi’s. Herero has done an impeccable job of relegating Maravi to the eastern coast, pressing inward with cities and citadels until nearly no land remains. Maravi, to be fair, has hung on tremendously against this pressure and the pressure from Luba in the north, still alive and kicking despite being kicked themselves time and time again.

Richard Whittington has made a home for himself just outside the city of Sena. A British merchant by trade and politician by appointment, Richard was the Lord Mayor of London in 1397, appointed initially by the king but later elected by the populace. He made his fortunes importing silks and velvets, as well as potentially exporting famed English woollen cloth to mainland Europe.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Bulward of the North

73: The Bulward of the North

I’ve been told that King Crimson, famed British prog rock band, have been touring around the northern cities of the Kipchaks. Founded in 1968, King Crimson has a storied career all the way up until 2021 when the band ceased touring and making new music. Robert Fripp, one of the founders and the guitarist for the group, is the only member to have consistently been with the band its entire history, despite plenty of other members coming and going throughout the years.

This shot of King Crimson is a good chance to look at the core of the Kipchaks, and how scary their neighbour is looking. With a wide carpet of crossbows and knights, the Kipchaks at least look respectably well defended, but the imposing cities of Ket quash any dreams of invading the lands to the north. Perhaps a quick attack on their former city of Kanjak Sangir could be a way for Togortak to gain a bit more ground.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Slide Where Pomo is Still in this Game

74: The Slide Where Pomo is Still in this Game

In a death defying act of rebellion, the longswordsman outside of Co’kadjal has managed a second wind and fought their way back into the city, claiming the Pomo capital once again. Though cuirassiers circle the city looking for any way inside, the longswordsman has barred the gates with their own swords, bracing against the wood and banded iron in an act of desperate resistance.

Essie Parrish beams with happiness, knowing that Pomo will go down as the civ in this game that fought the hardest despite the conditions, despite every one of their neighbours assailing their borders at every opportunity. The longswordsman waves the flag of victory from within the walls of the city, declaring to all onlookers that Pomo will never give up. Pomo will never surrender. Pomo will fight on until the end of time.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Slide Where Pomo is not Anymore

75: The Slide Where Pomo is not Anymore

Well, I spoke a bit too soon I suppose.

As the Tlingit cuirassier crashes their way through the gates, the sound of twisting steel and breaking swords can be heard, and the longswordsman falls to the beating of hooves. The city is fully surrounded and troops pour into the city with a final fervor, knowing that the battle has finally been won. As the dust settles and the troops look around, they spy a final Pomo soldier standing at the highest point of Co’kadjal, holding the flag they once waved in victory with a reverence of finality. Wrapping the flag around themselves, the last of the Pomo garrison looks to the west, to the setting sun, and then throws themselves into the air, in a final act of defiance against the gunpowder empire. The body and the flag fall out of the sight of the onlookers, and when Tlingit cuirassiers are sent to retrieve the spoils, neither are to be found. Pomo will never truly relinquish themselves to the Tlingit.

Essie Parrish of the Pomo is eliminated, and finishes in 58th position in the CBRX Season 5. With Wassoulou presumably finishing 59th, Essie joins Samori Touré as two leaders who fought long and hard against aggressive neighbours coming in from all sides. Pomo started out this game with high hopes, and their first two episodes showed explosive expansion, but in one of the most competitive North Americas I’ve ever seen, they ultimately were beaten down one too many times and were the first civ to fall to the endless Tlingit march.

As a Teotihuacan supporter from the beginning, I’ve enjoyed the banter on the Power Ranker side that had been going between Pomo and Teotihuacan this season. To see Pomo eliminated so soon is honestly a bit heartbreaking. It’s truly sad to see them go.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Call off the War! Call off the War!

76: Call off the War! Call off the War!

After testing the water with their galleons and frigates, Qhapac has realized that perhaps a holy war against Bunuba was maybe not the best idea after all. Every single one of his allies has been there in spirit but not in ship to ship combat, and Bunuba has finally figured out how to field galleons of their own. And so, Caral peaces out with no material gains or losses, leaving their allies to keep fighting this holy war in spirit at least.

We also get the chance to see the remnants of Ternate, and the sole breadth of their city Soahsio. Cebu’s fleet seems to have melted away, with only a few remaining galleases to keep the city under watchful eye. I think we’re likely to see Ternate last at least for one more episode, but with a single city and their empire being razed to the ground, they’re not in a great spot.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Looking to Finish the Job

77: Looking to Finish the Job

Surprisingly, it is not White Eagle who is considering attacking and taking back their land, but instead Pontiac who is plotting to finish the job. With only two cities to their name, and an active war draining their resources, Ponca is definitely in a precarious position. But does Anishinaabe really have the might to take on the last remnants of White Eagles empire?

Probably, he has cannons after all.

Funny to note here is just how specialized Onondaga’s forces are. With a grand total of 14 Knights in this slide alone, Tadodaho definitely prizes mobility over all else. If war were to break out between any of their neighbours, Onondaga would surely get the first strike. Whether they could do anything afterwards is another story.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Tears Falling Like Pearls Upon the Saharan Sands

78: Tears Falling Like Pearls Upon the Saharan Sands

Zazzau continues pressing against the Ethiopian forces, but Zara Yaqob has managed to scrounge up a bit of a resistance force. The city of Fatika is now a little bit at risk of flipping, but Amina has managed to get her trebuchets closer and closer to Mek’ele, spelling the potential downfall of the city as an Ethiopian Sahara stronghold.

Notably here, Hyksos has joined the ranks of many on the cylinder in becoming a gunpowder empire, marching musketmen through the shared borders of Zazzau to their own Saharan outpost of Maketi. Militarily on par with Aures now, Hyksos likely wants to protect the abundant saltbeds of the city, a vital resource in preserving their plentiful food stores.

I’m sure those saltbeds are from all the Hyksos supporters who wanted them to do literally anything past turn 20 in this game.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Horsemen in the Gobi

79: Horsemen in the Gobi

This slide is a great opportunity to look at just how precariously positioned Rouran is compared to Qara-Khitai.

As two cavalry focused contenders in the central to east asian steppes, both empires have vast swathes of mounted units protecting their borders, but the city of Xihai is tenuously positioned right in the midst of Qara’s lands, surrounded on all sides by Ordo Cavalrymen. Yujiulü made a smart choice jumping from Wriggling Riders straight to cuirassiers, as the Ordo Cavalry can easily get up to a cuirassiers combat strength if coming from the western reaches of the Qara-Khitai’s lands.

Sly Stone can be seen touring the salt mines of Xihai, trying to raise morale in a region with so much unease. Sly Stone was an American musician, songwriter and record producer famous for holding a critical role in the development of the psychedelic soul and funk genre in the 1960s and 70s. Building on what musician James Brown had invented, Sly Stone produced many hits with the band Sly and the Family Stone, including Dance to the Music, Everyday People, and If You Want Me to Stay.

Groovy dude.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Best Laid Plans of Luo Fangbo

80: The Best Laid Plans of Luo Fangbo

Lanfang seems to have hit a bit of a snag as their Great Admiral Erik the Red is nowhere to be found, and the city of Parlan is damaged but reinforced by a variety of galleasees and galleons. Though crossbowmen continue to pelt the walls and a cannon maneuvers its way onto a war torn hillside, the hopes for capturing Parlan seem a little bit more in question.

Meanwhile, Yunnan marches their way inward, perhaps in victory or perhaps into a well laid trap by Luo Fangbo. The city of Longgang seems well defended, and with only composite bowman to support the invading longswordsmen regiments, I think it’s safe to say Lanfang will make it out of this conflict alive.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Eric and Vince Nowhere in Sight

81: Eric and Vince Nowhere in Sight

Meanwhile, Langfang has been finding much success besieging the former Ternate city of Sidangoli, as the walls barely hold back the invading forces. The seas between the city and the former capital of Ternate are wide open, meaning that Lanfang has the chance to hop skip and jump their way through the Indonesian islands with little competition.

An Anito great prophet sails away from the carnage, on a route directly to Australia to spread the good word. Cebu is one of the few leaders to have yet to enhance their religion, with both Anito and Bangladesh’s Shaktism yet to be properly fleshed out. One could argue that using this prophet to enhance would be a smarter call than spreading the good word into the heart of Bunuba’s territory, but everyone knows that Cebu is way too bold to play it safe.

Plus, everyone seems to hate Ngarranggarni .

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A Fort of Great Quality

82: A Fort of Great Quality

A big development for Chono, they’ve managed to pick up the Red Fort, a premiere wonder for the Civ Battle Royale.

This Renaissance Era wonder is rated an 8 / 10 on the CBRX Info Sheet, featuring a base +1 culture and +1 Great Scientist point, as well as an empire wide bonus of an additional +25% effectiveness to defensive buildings in all cities. Though the city of Hornopiren may not have quite as high defense as the cities within Ket lands, a 60 city strength is very respectable, and will make any Caral attempts to recapture their cities much more challenging than before.

Meanwhile, the rest of the civs in the ‘We all worship Pachaism and hate Ngarranggarni’ have realized that their leader has peaced out with Bunuba, and decide to do the same. It’s not like they were ever really having an effect on the war, but writing the declaration down on paper makes it feel that more official.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Forts of Great Quantity

83: The Forts of Great Quantity

Speaking of Ket, we get to see the farthest reaches of their northern empire, right along their border with Rouran. The difference in city strength is stark here, with both Sumarokovo and Tutuyshan being frigid Arctic ocean outposts in fields of ice and snow, despite one having more than twice the city defense of the other. Sym and Baklanika to the south are even more impressive, with city defenses in the 80s being absolutely mind boggling for a civ still fielding crossbowmen.

Ket has become a gunpowder empire themselves, with various regiments of cannons spread amongst their slightly more outdated units. Frigates and galleons sail the icy waters, and if Olgit were to decide to play offensively instead of defensively, it would potentially be a bloodbath against his neighbours.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Lets Get Together and Feel Alright

84: Lets Get Together and Feel Alright

As before, once again, Caral and Xavante find themselves at blows, with Xavante’s units marching their way fearlessly into the western reaches of the amazon basin. With the city of Huaricanga somewhat cut off from the rest of Caral’s empire by a single tile mountain pass, reinforcing the city may be difficult, and many trebuchets on the way spell a grim picture for Caral’s chances in this conflict.

Remarkably however, Tang has joined the conflict as well, turning this war into a coalition war. Though South America may seem quite far away from the mainland of China, Caral has plenty of Pacific Island cities, including their two along the New Guinea islands. With frigates and galleons in play, Tang could drive quite the hefty nail into the coffin that is Qhapac’s untimely demise.

Shepherding the troops of Xavante in their assault of the city is Bob Marley, famous Jamaican reggae singer and songwriter. Both instrumental in the development of reggae, and an outspoken icon for Rastafarianism, Bob Marley is considered a global icon of Jamaican culture, and is well known for songs such as One Love, I Shot the Sheriff, and No Woman No Cry. He also advocated strongly for the legalization of marijuana.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Wide Open Ocean Bears Many Gifts

85: The Wide Open Ocean Bears Many Gifts

The initial outbreak of the Caral Coalition features a variety of frigates already on their way to confront the Tang forces, just outside the ravaged Hawaiian islands. Though the ships cannons have yet to loose their shot, a cuirassier and great musician seem primed to be the first casualties in a war that is sure to see great losses.

Caral and Japan on the other hand have stagnated a bit after the loss of Koi, as a few galleons mill about the former Pomo settlements, bombarded by grand rocks flung by powerful trebuchets. Japan seems hesitant to commit any more forces to taking these islands, perhaps focusing their efforts instead on the Ryukyu capital.

If Cebu were to consider a counterattack, Japan is at the ready of course, now sporting shiny new cannons in their cities along the Marianas. Yet another gunpowder empire ; yet another follower of Sgáanaang.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Hard Times Create Strong Men

86: Hard Times Create Strong Men

As the defense against Circassia continues, we see that the combined forces of Phoenicia and Hyksos have worked remarkably well at protecting the cities of Sidon and Tyre, with neither city currently sporting any damage. Powerful trebuchets of their own fling rocks and stones down on the invading knights, keeping Circassia from setting up siege weapons to assail the cities walls.

Notably, Ismail has hired another general to attempt to push through the defensive line, this time the famed Abd al-Rahman. Abd al-Rahman was the founder and first emir of the Emirate of Cordoba, establishing the Umayyad dynasty in al-Andalus which occupied the southern half of Ibera for nearly 300 years before the region fractured into disparate talifas. He ordered the construction of the Great Mosque of Cordoba, as well as ordered a policy of religious tolerance throughout the region. Perhaps he has a better idea of how to build a causeway.

To the north, Circassia seems to have done an excellent job of repelling the invading Scythians, as not a single unit can be seen. Though a few smouldering improvements show evidence of their incursions, the cities in the Caucasus are remarkably undamaged.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Smoke on the Water

87: Smoke on the Water

Progress is being made, as Lanfang has indeed managed to capture the city of Sidangoli, electing to set the remaining populace ablaze instead of using it as a staging ground for continuous assaults on the old empire of Ternate. Cebu seems to have given the city willingly, with no units in the surrounding waters save for a trebuchet stationed in a defensive position for the approach on Nakijin.

Parlan continues to be in a state of uncertainty, as Langfang has managed to push further into the Cebu fleet. A lone cannon has positioned itself within range of the city, ready to begin bombardment at a moment's notice. With a ranged strength of 40 against cities, I fear the walls will stand little time against such an onslaught, and we may see another city set to the torch soon enough.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of They Sure Aint No

88: They Sure Aint No

Not much progress has been made against Shuri however, as Japan continues to concentrate their forces and Cebu continues to defend in ernest. The addition of galleons to the Japanese fleet certainly must be making this job easier, but with only galleases to provide ranged assistance, the going is slow and the gains are small.

Perhaps Hideyoshi could buy some frigates off of Tang, for a pretty penny.

To the north, Green Ukraine sails the Sea of Japan with shiny new galleases of their own. Relegated to a small sliver in between giants, Green Ukraine really doesn’t have much hope left in this game unlike their predecessors from X4, the Goguryeo. Perhaps now is the time for Yurii Hlushko to strike however, while Japan is distracted in the other ends of their empire.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Chapman’s Crème glacée Napolitaine

89: Chapman’s Crème glacée Napolitaine

The Indian subcontinent is a sight to behold, with three grand empires spread like the stripes within a tub of neapolitan ice cream. Mysore and Bangladesh have joined the ranks of the gunpowder empires, as Bangladesh marches their musketmen alongside Mysore’s Cushoon. Both empires have been licking their wounds since the conflict in the Bay of Bengal, in an arms race to see who can gain the first technological advantage.

Pakistan however, makes up for in population what they lack in sophisticated arms. Though the population of their capital Karachi is a staggering 41, their inland city of Lyallpur has reached an even greater magnitude of 43, most likely driven by their Unique Ability to take citizens from nearby cities that are converted to neighbouring religions.

Seychelles is here too, employing the services of Murat Reis in defending from a solitary Sumer frigate. Murat Reis was an Ottoman privateer and admiral from the 16th century, and the most famous of the Barbary corsairs. He sailed the seas of the Red and the Mediterranean, harassing French, Portuguese and Venetian ships that traded rich goods from the far east.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Everybody LOVES Phoenicia

90: Everybody LOVES Phoenicia

A big suite of peace treaties along the side of the screen show that everyone has collectively decided that Phoenicia has taken enough beatings for now. Remarkably, included alongside relevant combatant Circassia is Aures, someone I had no idea was actively at war with Phoenicia. Peeking at the stats sheet, they apparently have been at war since last episode, presumably through the city they gained through a peace treaty.

New South Wales has made progress against Mysore, surrounding and capturing the city of Dharwad on the Cocos Islands. That island is controlled by Australia in real life, so it makes sense that John Macarthur has fought hard to claim it for himself. It’s basically his birthright, he tells himself.

The Indian subcontinent is within eyesight of Dharwad, and more of New South Wales’ armada continues to amass on route to a potential invasion. Sri Lanka and Sri Pada would make an excellent prize in the long run, and would provide a staging ground for New South Wales to properly break into the mainland of Eurasia.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Not a Single Causeway in Sight

91: Not a Single Causeway in Sight

Here we see the results of the peace between Phoenicia and their neighbours, the city of Akko officially ceded to Circassia. Though the city itself is sweet, it shows that none of the military geniuses employed by Ismail were ever able to figure out how to assail the city of Tyre, and Phoenicia will evidently get to live a bit longer in this game.

Hyksos however is still in active combat, with their galleases continuing to pelt at the defenses of the city. A single carrack stands a mere 5 tiles away from the greatly weakened city, and in two turns could swoop in and steal the settlement for themselves. Perhaps this is the time to quickly whip up that causeway I’ve mentioned about a hundred times.

We also get to spy at the Aures’ navy, hale and hearty after essentially no active conflict against Phoenicia. With only a single tile of Sidon to access, Aures’ frigates, galleons and privateers stayed well out of the line of conflict, perhaps deciding to harvest Phoenician pearls instead. To the victor goes the spoils I suppose.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Cultists of Set or Nyau?

92: Cultists of Set or Nyau?

Luba continues their long and extended assault on Manthimba, with Lake Malawi positioned annoyingly in the way. The armies of Luba seem generally better equipped than Maravi, with crossbowmen and pikes in active conflict with swordsmen..

Maravi’s navy looks decidedly out of date, compared to the galleons and galleases fielded by the Seychelles. The two civs have yet to come to proper blows, despite a very close proximity. Maybe it’s those Nyau Cultists that are keeping France-Albert Rene at bay.

Speaking of which, we can see both of Maravi’s Unique Units on the frontline here, the Nyau Cultist and the Zimba Marauder. The Cultist is a missionary replacement that is invisible on roads and when stacked with units, and can perform a “Gule Wamkulu” on a city ruins to settle a new city in its place. The Zimba Marauder on the other hand is a pikeman replacement that heals and provides food to a random city when defeating an enemy unit, and gains permanent combat strength when pillaging enemy improvements. Both great units, if Maravi was the one doing the invading.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Hotter than a Bottle of Cholula

93: Hotter than a Bottle of Cholula

Chono, managing to secure open borders with the powerful and totally amazing Teotihuacan, has swung a contingent of ships around Caral’s borders to assail the Yanomami city of Kasharaweteri. The thunder of cannons roar as these three ships, reinforced a bit back by another frigate and a privateer, make a noticeable dent in the city defenses. With frigates holding 28 combat strength, there is a chance that Chono could actually flip the city to their own, though actually holding it in the long term is another story.

Meanwhile, the Yanomami continue to put their acquisition from Xaragua to the torch, as Gonaibo continues to burn despite still being at 11 population. With the city being handed over at the end of the last episode, a total of 13 turns have passed as the populace grows smaller and smaller. This might be one of the deadliest city razing this season has seen so far.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of I swear I’ve Written Nearly 50 Blurbs About Great People

94: I swear I’ve Written Nearly 50 Blurbs About Great People

With the declaration of war from Tang a few slides ago, we get to see just what cities are at threat of being captured by their powerful fleet, with Sampalu directly in the path of the oncoming invading navy. Caral, in their infinite wisdom, has hired the land general Simon Bolivar to defend the city, despite the fact that the city is surrounded on all sides by the ocean.

Off to the side, it seems that Caral is actually the aggressor, as the city of Jinling begins receiving frigate fire. The citizens are notably followers of Sgáanaang, and it seems Qhapaq cannot stand any cities in the area that are not devout followers of Pachaism. I pray that the Tlateomatiliztli followers of Teotihuacan are not next.

Simon Bolivar was a Venezuelan military officer and statesman who led the independence movement of many South American countries from the control of the Spanish Empire. Known as El Libertador, or the Liberator of America, he fought successfully for years against the yoke of Spanish rule, establishing the short lived Gran Colombia, and being the namesake for the country of Bolivia. Simon Bolivar in fact leads Gran Colombia in Civilization 6, introduced in the Gran Colombia expansion.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Grand Canal of Glasisvellir

95: The Grand Canal of Glasisvellir

Who would have guessed, the Bjarmians and Vyatka have once again decided to go to war against each other.

These two empires have difficult, frigid terrain in between them, and their armies and navies are nearly equally out of date compared to their more sophisticated neighbours. I expect this war to generally go about as nowhere as every other war between these two has gone.

Notably in this slide, we see plenty of forts built into the snowy lands of the north that house carracks and galleases. The modset of the CBRX5 includes a handy little mod that lets forts and citadels act as canals, letting these naval ships house themselves on tiles normally reserved for their land counterparts. The fort just to the south of Glasisvellir should act as a handy reinforcement point for any Bjarmian ships that mean to navigate to the frontlines.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of In Defiance of the British East India Company

96: In Defiance of the British East India Company

Here we get the chance to take a look at the Mysore Cushoon, a unique replacement for the line infantry. The Cushoon grant a -10% combat strength to enemy units within two tiles, as well as receiving 2 Cushoon Rockets when trained. These Cushoon Rockets act similar to the guided missile of the Information Era, with a strength of 30 instead of the normal 60 strength.

When stationed next to a city with a Taramandal Pet, the Mysore’s unique Bastion replacement, the Cushoon can sacrifice their own hitpoints to receive another Cushoon Rocket. The Bastion itself provides less hit points to the city when constructed, but the additional Cushoon Rockets provided should make both defense and offense much more effective.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of These are the Lands of Pachaism

97: These are the Lands of Pachaism

Caral continues to harass Tang, turning their attention away from Jinling and instead to Shangluo, an island full of devoted Tlateomatiliztli followers. It seems that Tang has been able to repel the invaders with ease, as the cities have barely a scratch of damage between the two of them.

Meanwhile, Tang continues the approach on the city of Sapalu, primarily with cannons and great musicians. Perhaps hiring Simon Bolivar was a smart idea after all, as the general has experience defending against imperial cannon fire, and has prepared the defenses by placing a Fisher defiantly on the only island within bombardment range of the city.

Japan and Cebu continue to scuffle about the islands of Hawaii, as two galleons desperately try to avoid arrow fire from a galleass. I predict both will soon meet a watery grave.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of By Land and Sea

98: By Land and Sea

Not only has New South Wales managed to conquer Mysore in the north, but they have also managed it in the south as well. The city of Tellicherry is set ablaze, perhaps as a warning to Madikeri that not a single Mysore soul is allowed within sight of the grand Australian empire. At least, they will be the grand Australian empire, when they manage to defeat Bunuba in 500 or more years.

Plenty of field guns and line infantry sail the reckless waters of the Indian Ocean, waiting for the fleets of John Macarthur to finish clearing Antarctica of any traces of Mysore. These troops could be used to great effect against Bunuba, who still only has crossbowmen and longswordsmen, but the Great Wall has perplexed New South Wales for thousands of years.

It is only a few more technologies until artillery. Perhaps John can give it another go then.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Border Gore of the Highest Order

99: Border Gore of the Highest Order

Peering briefly at the minimap, it seems the declaration of peace between the Yanomami and Chono is evenly decided, as the previously besieged city of Kasharaweteri is still in Davi’s hands. When exactly this war was declared, I have no idea, and I think the fact that there was any form of conflict was a surprise even to the Chono.

We do get an opportunity to look at the holdings of Chono, as well as New South Wales, Caral, Bunuba and Teotihuacan. One of the worst parts about Rapa Nui failing to settle any of these islands was leaving the region ununified and messy, as the borders of countless empires twist and knot around each other like one large ball of snakes. I’m sure every one of these civs wishes that polynesia was united under their own colours and their own banner, but none quite yet have the upper hand to act on it.

Circassia and Hyksos also finally declare peace, as well with the appearance of no exchanged cities. This happened last slide of course, but don’t believe for a second I missed the notification until now.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Of Course the Episode Ends with This

100: Of Course the Episode Ends with This

And, to cap off our episode, it seems that the powers at be have decided to spite me, ending the episode with a picture of absolute dread.

Lawspeaker Sheiyksh of the Tlingit, after finishing their terrifyingly efficient dismantling of the Pomo, has decided that Spearthrower Owl is the ideal next target. Their former allies in this war of elimination, the Tlingit look to the lands of Teotihuacan, with their crossbowmen firmly behind in the arms race of the gunpowder era. They ready their guns, plotting and biding their time.

And with that, we’ve reached the end of the narration. Thank you to Coiot for roping me into my first attempt at a narration, and to the wider Civ Battle Royale community for countless years of entertainment and engagement. I hope you all enjoyed reading this exciting episode despite how much I’ve written, and apologies to Doc Ido for the amount of city names you’ll have to read when you create the audio narration. This is Archimedes, signing off.

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