Power Rankings: Episode 18 – S5

Release Date:

June 09, 2026

Narrated by:

Power-Rankers

Abstract

Power Rankings! The rankings…of power! Dun dun dunnnn!

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Rapa Nui

1 / 0

1: Rapa Nui

Semi:

Thank god. It’s FINALLY time for our second elimination of the season, as Caral’s Frigates stand on the brink of taking out Rapa Nui. It couldn’t come sooner, in my opinion - this civ has been a snoozefest beyond all belief, blocking easy access to Polynesia and resulting in some absolutely brutal bordergore down there. But hey, at least it meant I got to have a fun story during the episode I narrated!

Alas, Rapa Nui’s story should, by all rights, end here.

Wait what do you MEAN Caral has no naval melee units? And Cebu’s at peace so the Cebu Caravel Capture can’t happen?? What is this devil magic. Ridiculous.

1: Rapa Nui

Semi:

Alas, Rapa Nui’s story should, by all rights, end here.

Wait what do you MEAN Caral has no naval melee units? And Cebu’s at peace so the Cebu Caravel Capture can’t happen?? What is this devil magic. Ridiculous.

2: Ma’in

Reformer:

Oh baby yes! No longer 60th, now we mingle with the greats in the 50s! And all it took was for Rapa Nui to be a handful turns from surely dying! Bring out the good wine, we are partying tonight.

3: Pegu

Archimedes :

Nothing materially significant has changed since the last time I ranked Pegu, in which I went into how they are defensible but ultimately a prize for whichever of the two nations currently bordering them. With the Gate of the Sun being particularly useful, Pegu should be a key target for either Bangladesh or Yunnan. But, considering that Mysore, Tang, and Lanfang are all circling these two like sharks in the water, Pegu could ultimately stick around for a little bit, and then fall to one of these three even greater threats. And all three could benefit massively from that additional +15% growth bonus.

Looking at Pegu from the standpoint of them as a competitor rather than as a prize, they are nearly as low as you can get, rivalling Ma’in in terms of just how low their stats are looking. With their land similarly eaten away by citadels, it’s hard to see Pegu really mounting a successful defense with any units, instead relying nearly solely on their city defense and difficult terrain. With no pathways to the ocean to settle small islands or Antarctic colonies, Pegu is simply just waiting for the final nail in the coffin of their demise. Even their bonuses towards science through trade routes is minimal at best. +5% of nearly nothing just so happens to also be nearly nothing.

Pegu once again stands as one of the most likely civs to be eliminated next, especially as their lands slowly but surely shrink to oncoming pressure from their neighbours. Whether it will be decided next episode in one quick invasion, or dragged out over a few episodes, remains to be determined. I feel that Pegu has at this point overstayed their welcome, and look forward to seeing who inevitably gets that Gate of the Sun benefit, and the malus of being a civ that has squashed an entire culture under their iron grip.

4: Karankawa

Msurdej:

Another day, another stinging defeat for Karankawa. Coapite was a given, seeing how Susquehannock had been attacking the city. But Copano ? All 1 tiles of Copano were given away as well, leaving Karankawa with only two measly cities; their capital, and a city over in Greenland. Joseph Maria is another step closer to death, but goodness only knows it's going to be difficult taking them out. It's going to take at least two civs or a very powerful cross continental civ to take them out in one fell swoop. But hopefully their end comes sooner than later.

5: Wassoulou

Cloudy:

Wassoulou had another extremely bad, no-good episode, and this time Aures didn’t even have anything to do with it. Instead, Zazzau found some competence we didn’t know they had and managed to capture Kerouane by marching troops through Aures territory, and now their forces are knocking at the gates of Samori Ture’s capital. Can Amina do what Dihya couldn’t? Well, we don’t think it’s super likely, but it’s not out of the question. That’s enough to earn Wassoulou a whole 1 rank drop, but it’s difficult to fall more than that when you were in 55th place to begin with.

6: Ponca

Cloudy:

*sad ponk noises*

Odds they give up their mountain fortress city to Susquehannock? I hope they’re not that stupid...

7: Ternate

JDT:

In my opinion, Ternate’s very small drop is more indicative of how hard it is to match the rumps at this stage of the game in the competition of being bad than it is an accurate reflection of how the war with Cebu is going. Jailolo is gone, Formadahi is likely gone as well, and theres non-zero chances that Ternate and Galilella may get flipped too, though I personally doubt that. Not to mention, they had lost the city of Sampalu to Caral under zero pressure earlier. And their stats, while not as bleak as many of their compatriots, are still very, very bad, especially in the wake of most of their neighbours being very relevant powers. The only real reason why they are not considered even worse is that they have even naval tech with Cebu and the defense of their most important cities at this stage of the game are still very acceptable. But even if they survive this war with Cebu, what's next? Lanfang can eat them in 1 fell swoop. And even if that doesn’t happen, they have shown that they are led by a fifth columnist who can’t even defend against South American powers. Suffice to say, nothing good is happening over at Ternate at this moment.

8: Maravi

Cloudy:

They’re still Seychelles food, but for now, they can be glad that France-Albert René has his focus elsewhere, on the next civ up the rankings. Maravi does gain a rank due to Ternate’s fall, but again, one war declaration from the Seychelles and they’re straight to the bottom, and it’s really just a waiting game at this point.

9: Sumer

JDT:

Sumer drops 2 as they get assaulted by Seychelles. The good news is that Seychelles has had a historically mediocre war record and is splitting their troops by attacking Phoenicia at the same time. The bad news is they have to rely a lot on the confines of Art Official Stupidity kicking in, because otherwise there is nothing they can possibly do to not lose at least one city from this war. The Seychelles are one whole era ahead in tech, fielding crossbows, muskets and most importantly, cannons, devastating weapons of war that will tear through Sumer’s low defense cities like they’re nothing. Meanwhile, Sumer has longswordsmen, composite bowmen and 3 very badly placed Citadels. Yeah, good luck buddy, you’re gonna need it.

10: Pomo

Orange:

Pomo’s first war was with Ponca, turns 41-50. Then they fought Tlingit from 66-102. Then Anishinaabe from 112-136. Then Tlingit again from 144-228 AND Teotihuacan from 114-172 AND Cebu from 154-176 AND Anishinaabe again from 169-175. Then Anishinaabe YET AGAIN from 227-present, AND Tlingit and Teotihuacan YET AGAIN from 249-present. It is turn 256 currently, Pomo has been at war with at least one of their neighbors for about 75% of the game, and if you start counting from the first Tlingit war, they have been at war with specifically Tlingit and/or Anishinaabe (and Teo but they don’t matter) for 90% of that time. They can not catch any sort of break, it has been constant war, no time to rest, no time to properly build up. The one time they had a chance to build up, when they started to expand to Hawaii, they got bumrushed by fucking Cebu. AND YET DESPITE ALL THIS, DESPITE BEING AT WAR WITH TOP POWERS MOST OF THE GAME, INCLUDING TLINGIT’S OP RELIGION, THEY HAVE FOUGHT SO HARD TO KEEP THEIR EMPIRE TOGETHER. IT’S TAKEN NEARLY 200 TURNS OF BULLSHIT TO FINALLY BRING THEM DOWN, 200 TURNS! THERE WILL NEVER BE A CIV WITH THIS MUCH GRIT AND WILL TO LIVE AGAIN.

*sigh* I just want my civ to do well…

11: Yunnan

Reformer:

It’s Yunnan time!

. . .

Okay, Yunnan time over!

12: Papal States

Orange:

Cheese Pope ain’t having a good time, but at least Vlad sucks even more shit always so maybe they can actually take advantage of Hansa’s weird war declaration to get them while they’re distracted in the north.

13: Xavante

Reformer:

Ah, how depressing! Lo, what a tragedy! So close Xavante was to getting two cities from Caral, but instead, they accept a peace deal and keep only the one– not to mention, this city was founded by Xavante in the first place! Truly, the fact that Xavante could’ve come out of this war with a great win and only came out with a mild win, is undeniably tragic. I even started liking them for a bit there. Now they just go back sitting pretty in the middle, no chances of becoming a great power. Too little, too late.

14: Green Ukraine

Msurdej:

Green Ukraine's only mention was an offhand comment made on a slide about Japan. That should tell you all you need to know about their performance this episode.

15: Wallachia

Msurdej:

Despite continuing to hemorrhage money, Wallachia is holding on. They've actually managed to up both their production and military numbers. Sure the war against the HL has gone nowhere (especially with HL wrapping up most of their major fights like France) but Vlad isn't dying any time soon. Unless you count his wallet. Then he'd be dead, like 10 times over.

16: Phoenicia

Cloudy:

I miss when Phoenicia was the hottest new regional power in town, tearing through Ma’in like there was no tomorrow. Unfortunately, tomorrow eventually came, and now it’s today. So what does Phoenicia do now? I say they finish off Ma’in for shits and gigs. Thanks to their citadel adjacent to Qarnawu and our “citadels act as canals” mod, they can attack Ma’in’s capital directly with ships, meaning it would probably fall. This would gain them like 5 land tiles, but it would temporarily put them tied for 1st in number of capitals controlled, at least until Cebu takes Ternate amiright? Haha. There could be no possible downsides to taking that city, it would certainly not give the Seychelles, who definitely did not just declare war on Phoenicia, a free path into Hiram’s lands...

17: Xaragua

Reformer:

Xaragua remains in a bitter conflict with Yanomami. Though Xaragua has been technically winning so far, this may change soon enough if war drags on. Yanomami is no longer at war with Potiguara, leaving only Xaragua as a relevant war opponent. Additionally, Xaragua’s critical tech advantage in the form of frigates is freshly no longer an advantage– as of turn 250, Yanomami came to be in possession of Navigation, and indeed, we saw the first Yanomami frigates towards the end of the episode. With the vast production disadvantage that Xaragua is at, they’d better hope to get a peace deal sooner rather than later…

18: Vyatka

Leman:

Vyatka’s consensus is that they suck but they aren’t down and out. Ten cities is still a hefty number of cities. Sure it's not Tang’s almost-30, but its enough to work with. It gives them enough production that if they really put their mind to it, they could, in theory, recapture all their cities from Scythia. If they have a solid ally. And Scythia is distracted. And they get lucky. The real issue is that their effective science is in the shitter, because they have 10 cities that need to make the science of 15.

19: Potiguara

Shaggy:

“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” Someone told this to Felipe Camarao and he made it the philosophy of his defensive strategy. Jacu holds strong against wave after wave of Guaycuru ships, horses, and steel. Potiguara may not accomplish much this season, but if all they are remembered for is stalling out Guaycuru then I will be fine with that.

20: Bactria

NopeCopter:

Bactria ain’t shit. Bactria has ended up weaker than the Kipchaks, and the Kipchaks suuuuuck. Bactria is so bad that they’re basically the biggest reason Pakistan deserves as high a ranking as they do, because not a ton of other civs have such easy access to that many free cities. The best news I have for Bactria right now is that the Qara-Khitai border is so small that it’s basically nonexistent, which means one fewer neighbor to worry about. How did Bactria fumble this? Pakistan did nothing for half a dozen episodes and the Kipchaks were basically out of the game from the start. How did they let the lead slip away this bad? Bactria’s so ridiculously lucky that Ethiopia exists to pull some of the heat away in terms of throwing an early lead, because hot damn.

21: Hyksos

ItsTruckMonth:

NOTHINGEVERHAPPENS BROS, SELL YOUR HYKSOS STOCKS SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED TO HYKSOS.

Translating: Hyksos finally sees some action as Ethiopia hits the warpath against them. But despite the 3-rank drop this episode, they aren’t in a bad spot, honestly. They boast more military manpower than Ethiopia and match it in techs, the only point of concern being that Ethiopia maintains a sizeable production boost and has the combat boost against cities from the Statue of Zeus wonder.

So, essentially, something may not actually happen after all.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Hanseatic League

22: Hanseatic League

ItsTruckMonth:

Well, Hansa was able to ward off the French invasion without taking too much damage, now only having to deal with the (former) brokeass to his Southeast.

Not much else to be said: stats are mid, blocked in by bigger powers, etc. All in all, langweilig.

23: Bjarmia

JDT:

After some exciting episodes of fighting Scotland and Vyatka, the Bjarmians return to their classic Nothing Ever Bjappens form by continuing to fight Estonia, a war that had never yielded gains for either party and will continue to be an exercise in futility for both parties. Bjarmia is strictly speaking worse in many fronts compared to Estonia. They have much worse tech, are starving and are at 0 happiness. However, they have superior production and we all know that Estonia won’t actually leverage decent avenues of attack. Therefore, I would like to prescribe yet another nothingburger war, even in the occasion that Vinuskogr gets flipped. Their drop of 4 is moreso a vote of confidence in Estonia, Portugal and Zazzau than a fall off tbh. NOTHING. EVER. BJAPPENS.

24: Zazzau

Orange:

Zazzau is, looking good???? Honestly they even have a similar sized army to Aures, though a fair bit lower in techs, but like, they are about to consolidate Wassoulou’s lands and then they can just build up a bit more and try to go after Aures next time they are in a big war. Like, this feels insane for a civ who looked so brittle so early on.

25: Kipchaks

ItsTruckMonth:

The Kipchaks have a rather quiet episode, but something of note is that they are now in the top half of InfoAddict rankings, tying with Bangladesh for the highest stat rankings gain this week. This is likely due to the rather large army of nearly 12k men that they have put out.

Unfortunately, they’re still outmatched militarily by basically every one of their neighbors bar Bactria. Just gotta keep calm and wait for the opportunity Togortak.

26: Portugal

Did you know that Portugal has 14 goddamn cities? Yeah, that’s right, 14. Fourteen. For half of an Iberian civ, that’s pretty damn good. All that colonialism has been doing them well. Speaking of which, remember when they sniped that Yanomami city? Yeah, that was pretty cool. Shame they started razing it and then lost it anyways. Not a great sign for their future prospects, especially since they’re squeezed between the Frigate-toting Aures and good ol’ “technically the best civ in western Europe kind of” France. Maybe they can beat France back to the Pyrenees and become Second Visigoths? Or maybe they somehow manage to pick a couple more cities off Wassoulou? Either way, they might at least be able to continue causing nonsense in the Atlantic, which is honestly pretty good for such a dead-end civ. Seriously, I don’t think they can even reach the Papal States’ carcass anymore.

27: Umhaill

NopeCopter:

What’s Pride Month without a bit of toxic yuri? Umhaill and Scotland have been stuck with each other this entire game, getting incredibly up in each other’s business, and it’s been terrible for the both of them. Umhaill’s only real mistake this game has been not stabbing Scotland when they had the chance, and now they’re out basically all of their invasion opportunities and hopelessly behind in techs. They’re basically waiting for their execution. But you know, maybe they’re okay with this. Their forbidden romance was always doomed to be a tragedy - either one killed the other or they both collapsed into mediocrity due to lacking a proper core. Scotland is honestly doing a commendable job avoiding this fate, but if Grace o’Malley’s made the choice to savor her time with Mary and throw the game rather than go for a kill she probably wouldn’t have gotten anyways, so be it. They’re terrible for each other, but that’s about all you can ask for in this kind of environment. I hope they’re having fun together.

28: Estonia

Msurdej:

Lennart Meri goes up three points this week, thanks in no small part to their boost in stats. Production, Techs, and Military all got a shot in the arm as they reached the mid game. While their UUs and UBs may not be online yet, they are starting to pull ahead of their erstwhile rival the Bjarmians. While they're still the underdogs in terms of Production, Estonia is closing the gap. A gap that will only close more if Estonia manages to nab Vinuskogr next episode.

29: Caral

Orange:

Now that’s what I call a drop. Wew. Caral seem pretty fucked ngl, at least they are taking Rapa Nui out with them.

30: Luba

Semi:

Luba continues Lubaing. I really don’t know what to say about this civ, man. They’re just kind of…there. They have the best effective science in mainland Africa outside of Aures, and haven’t lost a war yet. Every time Jacob Morenga shows up outside one of Luba’s cities, he’s returned to sender. And now Ethiopia is going north to fight Hyksos? Well isn’t that dandy.

You might have noticed I haven’t mentioned their last neighbor. Because out of nowhere, it seems like the Zazzau - yes the same Zazzau that stood around and let Luba found Kitabi all but underneath one settler - is making a recovery by gobbling up Wassoulou. So is the next threat for the Line going to from the north after all? Or are Seychelles going to wake up to Africa’s existence and come for Zanzibar?

Knowing this season’s Africa, probably neither.

31: France

Orange:

Pointing and laughing at their inability to take any cities off their neighbors. Their best bet might just be going after Portugal again but ngl, Portugal would beat them I think. France has more production and a slight tech lead, but Portugal has a bit more troops and we all say France’s struggle last time, Portugal can probably retake Iberia and then it’d get stalled at the Pyrenees. Maybe they could take those two Umhaill cities instead, might have a shot there.

32: Ethiopia

JDT:

Ethiopia goes up by 2 in the face of them attacking Hyksos 80 turns too late, a good conquest against a weaker opponent that might yield massive dividends. But as we can see from their slide highlighting this, this isn’t really the best engagement. Sure they have the terrain advantage and production edge, but Hyksos is even on tech and has a larger military, alongside the inherent advantage of being the defender and thus having Citadels and city ranged attacks on their side. Therefore, it is clear to day that this assault will not be as easy as Ethiopia may want it to be, a situation they wouldn’t be dealing with had they done this 100 turns ago. Personally, I believe this war will cement that Ethiopia is simply mid. Not really hardstuck or bad. Just mid.

33: Guaycuru

Archimedes :

I’m sure Guaycuru is sweating bullets as they watch the ever sleepy Chono rouse from their slumber and bring the absolute hammer down on Caral this episode. With a ferocity not seen yet in South America, Guaycuru has much to learn from Chono’s brute strength and speed. Can Guaycuru gather some of the light shining off of the sails of Chono and divert that strength into their war with Potiguara? Or will we see another middling attempt where one or none cities exchange hands.

Guaycuru does at least have some stats backing up their claim to be able to do something. Though they only have a military score of 6448, this number is at least greater than Potiguara’s 4754. And, their production of 214 beats out Potiguara’s 156, though neither come anywhere close to Chono sitting at 461. That comparison is a general look at how Guaycuru is doing : well enough that they're slightly better than most of their closest neighbours, but nowhere near enough to match the terror in the south. With an effective science of 347 and a tech count of 38, they again look decent, but nowhere near match 452 and 44. Even Guaycuru’s happiness of 25 can’t compete with Chono’s 57, a staggering amount that goes to show how much more flexibility in conquest Chono potentially has, and a considerable threat that Chono could envelop nearly all of Guaycuru without ever going unhappy.

It’s hard to see but potentially safe to presume that Guaycuru has actually been taking advantage of their unique abilities. Though their unique horseman is now thoroughly out of date, their Garden replacement is surely providing extra food and experience to their cities, and their Unique Ability to reveal new sources of strategic resources on city capture must have made at least a couple workable tiles in their empire. Though the modlist has waived any resource requirements for these early and mid game units, any units that normally require resources are still getting an additional +1 movement and granting a food burst to the city they’re trained in, helping Guaycuru keep pace with large, productive and scientifically producing cities. They may not have kept pace with Chono, but Guaycuru could be looking like the second most powerful South American civ at this point, as long as Caral and Yanomami continue to decline.

So the question is this : How long will Guaycuru manage to keep out of the sight of Chono, and how far can they push North, gobbling up Potiguara and Xavante. If they keep in the good books, and continue marching forward and improving their position, Guaycuru could feasibly last a little bit longer in this game than most would expect. But, the more kills Guaycuru gets, the more cities they capture, and the more eliminations they rack up, the more ire they’re likely to draw from their neighbours, and the more likely Chono will finally decide that it’s time to consolidate South America.

34: Kalmar Union

NopeCopter:

It’s a sad, sad state of affairs when the likes of Kalmar are in the top half of the rankings. Kalmar has done practically nothing but fail, and even when they’re failing it’s not in the ordinary incompetent sense, it’s actively throwing. They gave away a city to Scythia and then lost another city to goddamn Estonia because their little gift cut off all routes they had to defend it. They did bully Estonia with their silly little navy afterward though, so they get some credit. But man, where the hell do they go from here? Bjarmia’s a pain to get rid of, they basically have to do the equivalent of licking their own armpit just to reach Estonia, Hansa has a little trickster demon watching over them, and Scotland’s just better. This is a civ with no future. We have invented a second, worse Ume Sami with a second, better Finns to their east. They are in the top half of the rankings.

35: Onondaga

Tadodaho’s Knightdom, where Big Boats are forbidden, rises four ranks this week because of the nebulous “reasons”. Meanwhile, he’s more stuck than ever. The days when a Susquehannock-Onondaga war would’ve been an even one are over, and Anishinaabe is stronger than ever. Greenland is less and less of a way out as Scotland continues developing.

In fact, I’ll go and drop this hot take. I think Onondaga is the highest-ranked civ with zero chance of winning. I just don’t see the pathway, given their horrible science (below Umhaill and Portugal) and locked-in position.

36: Herero

Hetero - er, Herero - had a pretty quiet episode this week, for once. No war with Luba or Maravi means we get a look at the empire who people are penciling in as the next Lesotho. Me? I have some doubts. Maybe it’s hindsight, but I feel like the situation in Africa is very different this time around. Not only is there not going to be a reset, that effectively nuked Zaire, but there’s no big scary power to the north to take out Luba - a war that, independently, Morenga can’t win. Add to that a pretty powerful Seychelles on the African islands, who will easily be able to take coastal cities, and it’s not a normal, cornery South African position.

Also, what’s with all the insettling for garbage desert cities, my guy? What’s the point?

37: Circassia

Archimedes :

Episode after episode, Circassia continues to claw their way to the top, with a drive that many other civs seem to lack. They managed a war with what seemed to be the top competitor of the region with nary a city lost, knocking Scythia down a peg and actually eclipsing them slightly in the stats department. As they inch ever closer to domination of the region, Circassia has certainly had a glow-up, even despite their lackluster war with Wallachia.

And I’m not kidding when I say that Circassia is ahead of Scythia in the stats department. Though Scythia may have 2 more cities, Circassia has 22 more production, 1 more technology, 46 more effective science, and a staggering 41 more happiness. Their population per city is better, and their production per city and per citizen is both in a better state. Some of this difference in stats is due to the production malus that Scythia is currently facing in their unhappiness, but it’s undeniable that Circassia has managed to catch up to the once dominant Scythia. The war they just fought, where Scythia threatened to take the isolated city of Byrgurqal on the Black Sea, was absolutely dominated by Circassia, and put the Scythian city of Drymkovo at reasonable risk of capture.

Circassia keeps inching closer and closer to their own unique cavalry unit, as they survive longer and longer in this game. The Dzhigit fights with ferocity, performing a ranged attack before entering into melee combat, adding an additional level of lethality to any strike they do, whether against unit or city. Though Circassia may only be at Knights at the moment, they are maneuvering their way through the tech tree at a decent clip, and have just picked up both Printing Press and Steel. Soon enough, as Circassia continues to outscale Scythia, we will see this unit charging across the fields of battle, and with other weakened targets around like the Kipchaks, Vyatka, Phoenicia, Papal States and Wallachia, the bounty of the buffet ahead of Circassia is head-dizzyingly broad.

I think that Circassia might actually be the strongest competitor in the area by a decent margin. As long as Scythia continues to mismanage their happiness, Circassia continues to grow, and with such a buffer of happiness to work with, they could easily declare war on many of their neighbours and eat away at their exposed cities. And, with a core of cities set up in the rugged and mountainous core of the Caucasus, it’ll certainly be a challenge for another civ to come along and try to snuff out Circassia from this game. I expect we’ll be seeing them truck on for quite a while longer.

38: Bunuba

Cloudy:

Bunuba was faced this week with their 5th New South Wales invasion so far, and much like the others, it has made zero progress, thanks to Bunuba’s maxed-out Grit score and probably also the Great Wall of the Outback. But as impressive as Bunuba’s defense is and has been, this cycle is unsustainable. Bunuba barely has time to rebuild and conquer new lands before New South Wales attacks again, over and over and over. Unless there’s some drastic shift in the geopolitical landscape, Bunuba is eventually going to lose. And that’s why they’ve continued to drop down the rankings despite defending successfully yet again.

39: Mysore

Shaggy:

Mysore is really really really stuck. They are trying to eke out as many cities as possible within their core to at least have the appearance of density, but they are spilling onto one-tile islands that only really serve to bait New South Wales into side quests. Their defense of Karwar demonstrates their prospects spectacularly: wedged in between mountains and just a pain to invade without air support, not much room to grow, and surrounded by much more powerful neighbors. Sure, Bangladesh isn’t exactly having a great time either but they still have squishier neighbors. Also, the boom and bust cycle of Mysore’s food supply continues to make them stagnate as they oscillate between veritable orgies of food and near-cannibalistic famines. Very hard to do well when you try to recreate the Great Leap Forward every 40 or so turns. Expect them to continue to tumble in the ranks as the rest of the cylinder leaves them behind.

40: Yanomami

Reformer:

Yanomami exits the war with Potiguara, ending up at status que ante bellum. A reasonable peace deal, considering the threat of Xaraguan frigates, and the potential gain to be had by putting all your effort towards Xaragua in hopes of getting one of those veeeery populous cities. Truly, the situation is ideal for Yanomami now: single target, superior production, and Yanomami has acquired frigates of their own. Great timing, no doubt. All Yanomami needs is to have the perseverance to maintain the war, and results should come. Refusal to continue fighting would be a ridiculous blunder.

41: Bangladesh

Semi:

Bangladesh is tired from their big attempt at a breakout via Mysore that ended last week, and so didn’t do a ton this week. They did a bit of insettling (which I’m not that opposed to, given Dhaka’s very high population already) and constructed a pretty good wonder to help them continue their science scaling. Maybe that allows them to get the jump on Lanfang or Mysore in the future. Most likely, it just means they’ll be harder to kill, or be a Bengal v2 in Total War.

Oh, and they settled in the Andaman Islands, which means the net outcome of the Andaman War is officially that…Lanfang and Bangladesh switched the locations of the cities they owned on the Andamans. Spectacular.

42: Scythia

Archimedes :

I hate to say it, but Scythia seems to be slowly but surely wallowing in their own self pity this game, being unhappy for what feels like the 5th straight episode in a row. After conquering their way through the soft underbelly of Vyatka, they have found themselves consistently in a state of unhappiness that has hampered both their growth and their production ; two key stats for any competitor in a battle royale. And after suffering a defeat against Circassia, a target that they certainly should have grabbed a city from, things are looking more dire than ever before. Soon, civs like Estonia or the Hanseatic League could be circling the waters, ready to take a nice bite out of an exposed Scythian backside.

With -15 unhappiness to their name, Scythia remains forever hampered by their inability to manage their happiness. Their production stands at a stark 277, nearly equal to Circassia and the Kipchaks who sit at 298 and 240 respectively. That -15 unhappiness is serving up a serious -30% production and gold penalty to Scythia, as well as a halt on their growth and a -30% combat strength penalty. Their effective science is also somewhat middling, at 295 which is noticeably under Circassias 341. Scythia has bafflingly avoided picking up Machinery, the technology that would let them fix their happiness with Taverns, instead choosing to dance around it with Steel, Physics, and Banking all acquired, with Architecture soon on the horizon. One can figure that Scythia will continue to stay unhappy for at least a little while, perhaps opening up opportunities for Vyatka to try reclaiming their land, or their neighbours attempting a coalition war against them.

Scythia looks to have less outs than before to push themselves into relevancy. Their Unique Chariot Archer has past, their faith bonus from flatlands is less relevant, and the melee cavalry unit promotions are helpful but not for too much longer as the world marches their way towards the industrial era and the realm of armour units. A swift pivot into happiness would solve a lot of Scythia’s problems, but the damage may have already been done, as civs like Circassia have both caught up and eclipsed Scythia. While Europe generally still isn’t looking so strong, there may still be a chance for Scythia to sweep across the easy to traverse flat plains, but they’ll certainly have to act quickly to truly capitalize on that. Circassia, Scotland, Ket and even Aures seem to be growing ever more powerful.

43: Japan

Msurdej:

Japan had another mostly uneventful episode. Mostly making peace with the Ternate in a war that barely mattered to them. Despite this, they did get a new city. New city for Japan :)

44: Qara-Khitai

Semi:

Headline: “Power Ranker Archimedes in SHAMBLES this week as long-heralded Ordo Cavalry-led war ends in failure.”

In all actuality, though, this didn’t really do much, thus the lack of a rank change for QK. They’re still a fine, heavily militarized civ who really, really needs to use their UU. They are rapidly being outteched by Tang and Rouran to their east, and Pakistan to their south. (For reference, QK has 300 EfSci, while Rouran, next closest, has 438). Meanwhile, Ket to their north has X2 Rio Grande-level walls, and getting dragged into a war with the Kipchaks or Bactria feels like a speed ticket back to irrelevance.

So just, declare a relevant war and you’ll be okay. Please don’t turn into the second coming of Galdan Khan, Yelu Dashi.

45: Cebu

ItsTruckMonth:

Cebu continues leading the cylinder in xDAWG and Poblometrics stats as they move on Ternate. They’ve already made good progress, having taken the recent settle of Jailolo, and are now damaging Foramadiahi and even Ternate’s capital. Not to mention the drastic stats difference.

Is this where the Cebu breakout truly begins? Upon the corpse of Ternate?

46: Scotland

Paige (LynnWinn):

Scotland is in a weird spot being basically the premier power of Europe (if only barely), which is probably one of best continents in terms of flopping like a rabbit on Ket. They are by basically every metric, a power that is fine. They aren’t particularly strong in any specific area, but also aren’t noticeably weak in any statistic. A coalition could hypothetically take them down, but not much else in Europe at this time without complete incompetence or being significantly outmaneuvered on the map. Their greatest threat in this department is mostly Umhaill, which is not even really likely to overtake them quite yet. Scotland could break out, but that depends on if they appropriately build up enough to take enough for it to be worthwhile or get lost in a counterattack. See the next slide for an interesting contrast btw.

47: Susquehannock

Archimedes :

In a region that has been heavily contested with powerhouses, Susquehannock looks a little middle of the road all things considered. Tlingit stands as the number one competitor in this game, Anishinaabe has been an upstart that’s clawed their way to the top, Pomo was a powerhouse who had their time in the sun, and Teotihuacan is unbiasedly the best of the bunch (as I’ve stated before in a very unbiased fashion.) But look at Susquehannock outside of the realm of North America, and they are actually a very solid competitor in this game. 14th in stats, an above average amount of cities, with solid science and gunpowder units on the warfront ; Susquehannock is frankly better than essentially every civ in Europe, barring a bit of competition from Scotland. Can Susquehannock potentially consider making a trans-atlantic hop over to an area where they face easier competition? Or are they stuck being the slightly smaller fish in the big pond that is North America?

Noted in this episode was the introduction of the Iae’aetsin, a musketman with an additional movement and the ability to pillage without using movement points. This, along with a +1% combat strength from each international trade route to and from the Susquehannock means that Susq is actually in their prime time, and have taken advantage of the moment by storming their way across Karankawa, capturing three of their cities and burning one of them to the ground. Susquehannock now boasts a grand empire of 19 cities, stretching from Quintana Roo all the way up to Newfoundland and Labrador. Unfortunately, with 3 happiness to their name, Susquehannock doesn’t have much flexibility towards growing their cities or conquering new ones, and with a newly widened border with Teotihuacan and Anishinaabe, they find themselves a little bit more vulnerable. If Susquehannock was able to scrounge up some more happiness, they might have a shot picking away at one of these and trying to capture another city or two, but for now I think they’re best situated consolidating their empire.

And their empire is looking quite decent. They sit at 313 production, an amount that’s not the worst but certainly not the best, and their effective science of 359 positions them right about at Aures, Cebu and Yanomami. But, Teotihuacan stands at 488, and Anishinaabe at 534, meaning that Susquehannock still doesn’t quite measure up to their powerhouse neighbours. As they’re currently researching Sovereignty, we might see Susquehannock pick up Imperialism next, and gain access to the powerful Cuirassier mounted unit to help defend from either of these powers. Unfortunately for them though, both Teotihuacan and Anishinaabe are both on track to picking up Imperialism themselves, meaning that any tech advantage they may have is equally matched by their neighbours. Susq might best be positioned to try fighting a defensive war, as their Unique Improvement does grant an additional +40% defensive strength, though we will ultimately have to see if any blows come into play in the near future, and how much a land improvement will assist in a potential naval invasion from Teotihuacan’s Galleons.

And so with Karankawa thoroughly eaten, and Onondaga seemingly in a friendly position, Susquehannock faces the choice of consolidating, or potentially weathering the storm that Anishinaabe or Teotihuacan could bring. They are ultimately still a smaller fish in this big pond, with only the even smaller Onondaga fish to act as a buffer state in the stead of the number 4 ranked civ on the block. I personally hope Teotihuacan sees their moment and makes a solid naval push into Susquehannock in the near future, but biases are biases, and I’m sure many Susquehannock fans are happy with the amount of drive that the civ has shown in these past episodes. It’s certainly a far cry from the petty squabbles we watched Susquehannock and Onondaga get into within the first few episodes of this game. And I’m sure those won’t be the last of the squabbles we see these two eastern seaboard civs get into.

48: Itelmen

Cloudy:

Another episode of insane stats due to Tlingit’s broken religion, another episode of Itelmen in the top 15... still waiting for them to kill Green Ukraine, though. Green Ukraine is such a juicy target, seriously, they have the highest production per city of any non-rump (only Ponca and Rapa Nui are higher), indicating a high density of population and infrastructure, just there for the taking. Better do it before Rouran or Tang does it for you! And stay on Tlingit’s good side! That’s my advice.

49: Lanfang

Leman:

Lanfang is still rebuilding after the grueling Andaman War. They’ve managed to found a couple cities in their core and pull back up but I think they haven’t quite reached the heights they were at a few episodes ago. They’re not bad, but I think they need some kind of push before they re-enter the top ten. Maybe jumping in on Ternate and clean them up?

50: Teotihuacan

NopeCopter:

Teotihuacan! What is there to say about Teotihuacan? Well, evidently, quite a lot, going by their weekly writeups. I mean, I get it, they’re pretty rad in a vacuum. Great color scheme, cool icon, and did you know their leader apparently conquered/vassalized a whole bunch of the Maya kingdoms? Pretty rad. Shame they’re falling into the exact same traps as all the other Mesoamericans. The fundamental issue is that Mesoamerica’s geography is real hard to push out of. To the north, you’ve got tons of mountains and a funnel-shaped region of land that usually makes focusing and maneuvering troops real annoying. To the south, you’ve got a one-tile gap. So, navy it is, right? Right. There aren’t a TON of good peninsulas to grab onto, but there is the Caribbean, there’s Florida, maybe a couple others too. But even then, it’s easy to get boxed in real bad by strong powers in North and South America. Even Mexico, who played ridiculously well, ended up getting chopped up because they just couldn’t build as good a core in Mesoamerica as the Yellowknives and New Holland could - one foot in each continent’s business.

The thing is, Teotihuacan, in theory, has had so many easy outs. Karankawa was a free beachhead into North America! Xaragua sucks so, so bad! The Pomo have been collapsing! They have excellent stats, they’re working off a buffed Mesoamerica, they have an awesome Caribbean navy… their only issue is that they’re just BAD. They can’t organize an invasion to save their lives! They’re running face-first into that awful geography! They lost the Panama Canal to the Yanomami, they had to negotiate cities out of the Karankawa and Xaragua rather than invade, and they’re currently fumbling their second straight war with the Pomo. The Karankawa beachhead is disintegrating, and North America’s remaining powers are now strong enough that there isn’t really anybody to serve as an in for them - any fight will be one with an equal, and in their position that’s not good enough. They’re basically second to only Mysore in terms of “theoretically excellent civs screwed by geography” - and while they’re not nearly as poorly off, they’re still watching every single opportunity disintegrate. They’re not screwed, they have options - Xaragua is still there, Cebu is theoretically a solid pick, the Yanomami might start to crumble - but even then, can they muscle their way into regional dominance? I kind of doubt it. These numbskulls can’t even take cities off a dying Pomo, I fear for what an attempt at fighting the Susquehannock would look like.

51: Aures

Shaggy:

Aures spent this episode enabling Zazzau’s invasion of Wassoulou and not much else. Dihya is still getting the hang of how to fight proxy wars. They drop one rank this week in the top 10 reshuffle as the ranking team realizes that maybe there are some reasons to have some doubts about their dominance as they get their lunch eaten off their tray by Zazzau.

52: Rouran

Archimedes :

Rouran is certainly not my favourite central asian steppe civilization in this game, the title being taken by Qara-Khitai to their southwest. But, I think it would be wrong to say that Rouran hasn’t had a fan-defining glow up from their early episodes in this game. From handing over a city to the terminally diplomatic Tang, Rouran has settled well, built up their cities, and amassed a veritable carpet of units to threaten their neighbours. Though their neighbours also look quite competent, Rouran certainly has a real chance in this game, and with a well timed push against one of their neighbours, could really truly solidify themselves as a long term prospect in this game.

With a very solid 488 production, Rouran is actually one of the most productive civilizations on the cylinder, surpassing even New South Wales when it comes to overall output. Behind Ket Tang and Tlingit, Rouran at 4th is no small feat, and is helping them pump out both solid amounts of military and a plethora of economic improvements. This of course isn’t even their final amount of production, as with their current -7 unhappiness, they are facing a -14% production malus. Their science has also taken a great leap, with 438 effective science bringing them up to par with Chono, Tang, Ket and Seychelles. They may be a touch behind when it comes to total technologies researched, with only 39 compared to Tlingits 47, but their solid science score will help them plow through the cheaper technologies and catch up to some of the top tier science producers on the cylinder.

Though they may no longer have access to their Wriggling rider, Rouran still has a couple tricks up their sleeves. Their units are invisible when in the desert next to a source of fresh water, something that could come in handy when looking at an invasion of Tang or Qara-Khitai, and they do have a unique Great General replacement that has its own attack. Maybe not the most consequential abilities, but they are abilities nonetheless. They have also just picked up Chivalry and are currently working through Imperialism, meaning they’re jumping straight from Wriggling Riders into Knights into Cuirassiers, within the span of 10-20 turns. These Cuirassiers boast a solid 28 attack strength, more than double the normal horsemen's strength of 12, and are able to sweep into Tang to obliterate their 14 defensive strength cannons. Rouran is creeping towards an opportunity to take a huge chunk out of Tang’s lands, or Itelmen to the east / Qara-Khitai to the west. As long as they keep their eyes away from Ket, another high producing high technology civ with a stunning army and cities that are in the 60s when it comes to defensive strength, Rouran could potentially go on a conquering spree in the near future.

Rouran is a real top contender at this point, with solid science and production, a well suited army about to get another power boost, and a vast empire with potential targets on nearly all sides. If Rouran was able to handle their happiness problem, I could see a serious shift in the dynamics of the region happening, as long as they don’t get into a tussle with ever-present Ket on their flank. Perhaps we’ll be seeing Rouran in one of the top three spots, and the Mandate of Heaven will fall to that Yellow Banana in the North-West.

53: Seychelles

NopeCopter:

I’m a bit salty about the Seychelles. I’m not exactly a fan of tiny modern island civs, and this is the third time in a row one has ended up dominating the Indian Ocean. On the one hand, they didn’t beat out a bunch of my favorite civs in voting to get to this position, and I do like their colors. On the other hand, man I was so excited for this season’s Africa roster. The Seychelles are fine I guess, but for once can it be a premodern civ that goes on this kind of run so I can cheer along?

Complaining aside, the Seychelles are RIDICULOUSLY well-positioned right now. If they don’t lay waste to Sumer with their Gunpowder weapons, then something has gone terribly wrong. They’re the biggest reason to doubt Pakistan and Circassia, hell, even the Aures. Africa has (tragically) gotten deadlocked into mediocrity outside of the Aures. Mysore is inert and safe to handle, Pakistan has 12 cities. The Seychelles have great techs and great initiative, and they are primed to dominate the (western) Indian Ocean, Africa, and, potentially, the world. Just don’t let anybody tell you they’re the underdogs here - make no mistake, they’re not quite Faroes-tier, but they were always likely to be a big player.

54: Pakistan

Shaggy:

Pakistan joins the legion of big powerful civs that learn that any military dominance can be negated by small mountain passes as it’s invasion of Sarepta falls flat. They did learn quickly enough, though. The citadel placement outside of Mangalore (which, hilariously, is currently staffed by a sole great prophet) reduces the connection that Mysore’s core cities have with their Himalayan foothill cities to a mere 2-tile pass. Maybe that’s the real goal with Phoenicia in the short term, just farming great generals to slice up Mysore into digestible bites. Unfortunately for Pakistan, some questionable tech decisions have left them with a bit of catch-up for their armories that will make their inevitable crushing of Mysore slow and painful for both civs. But hey, a one rank bump when they're already in the top 10 is at worst a testament to their ability to continue to play at this level.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of New South Wales

55: New South Wales

ItsTruckMonth:

Oh boy, looks like MacArthur is going for Bunuba yet again and- wait, what’s this? A 2-point drop for NSW, and their first time outside the top 5 since Episode 11?

Yep. Yeah, we see the stats and the city count, and that’s cool and all. Here’s the thing, though: all these stats and city counts, and you still can’t break out of Australia? You still can’t break through Bunuba, which has half your military and nearly 200 less production? We’re getting tired of the charade, MacArthur.

If we don’t see the results, we aren’t gonna give you the ranks.

56: Ket

Orange:

Ket didn’t show up besides like, two corners, but importantly what we did see is that their cities are hanging around 80 defense, double what most people’s capitals are maxing out at. Ket also have extremely good stats still, so they are definitely one of the strongest civs out there. The one problem is that the snow has made them all sleepy, last war against the Kipchaks didn’t go anywhere, and they are probably Ket’s best route of expansion. Qara-Khitai have an even larger army somehow, and Rouran/Vyatka have natural geography helping their defense. But nonetheless, I doubt anyone will be able to take Ket out for a long, *long* time.

57: Anishinaabe

Leman:

Pretty staightforwardly excellent episode for Anishinaabe, only dropping out of the top 3 because, well, the civ that’s in 3rd is very contentious. Anishinaabe is going in against Pomo and grabbing a handful of cities. They picked up Chemistry which is a very powerful technology. The only problem with this is that they are opening up a large, large border with Tlingit, but honestly that’s inevitable at this point. Anishinaabe is doing really well.

58: Chono

JDT:

The Chono surge all the way up to third as they bring belt to ass to Caral in a much more thorough manner than anyone could’ve predicted. Upaca is firmly in their grasp, and Caballete has flipped down to 1 population, rendering it unusable for Caral even in a reflip. The Bunuba assault on their Pacific holdings have completely petered out and even though their military look thin on the front, they actually still have a top 3 military and top 10 stats. Clearly, the Caral don’t stand a chance. The question is now simply how far will Chono go before stopping? There are good arguments for both stopping now and pushing further to landlock Caral. But either way, the outcome is the same - the Chono are finally here, and they seek to stay with the big boys.

59: Tang

Msurdej:

Oh how the mighty have fallen... Out of first place. Don't despair too much though Tang fangs, Taizong had a tremendous episode. And by tremendous, they made the Porcelain Tower, one of the best wonders in the game. Sadly, this won't automatically get them the top spot in Science (they're 9th in science),nor will it help get them back into the happy Zone (they're at -2). But it will help them start to close the gap between them and the #1 spot that is...

60: Tlingit

Shaggy:

Back to the top with you! After a brief stint outside of the top spot in the rankings, Tlingit regains the crown by putting enough pressure on Pomo to get viewers at home to accept the inevitability of Pomo’s demise. With cuirassiers, skirmishers, cannons, and their own unique musketman replacement, the Xaa, Tlingit has the definitive tech advantage on their continent and really the entire cylinder. The region is truly theirs to lose when they have individual units with more combat strength than entire cities.

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