Power Rankings: Episode 20 – S5

Release Date:

June 23, 2026

Narrated by:

Power-Rankers

Abstract

Power Rankings! We are definitely not biased! Dun dun dunnnn!

Viewing: Vertical

Jump to scene

Pomo

1 / 0

1: Pomo

Orange:

As the co-creator of Pomo I was overjoyed to see what is ostensibly a religious civ with a slight culture bonus somehow doing quite well in tests, being a clear contender for the top of the continent with Tlingit, Ponca, and Onondaga. And when this game started, when Ponca settled the stupidest mountain city and barely anything else, crippling the center of the continent, while Karankawa went south to mess with Teo, I thought “Oh shit this might be Pomo’s game”. Normally Ponca or Karankawa would come out victorious and, owning the whole center of the continent, be a super strong competitor to take on any of the coastal civs, but this time it was all wide open.

Then Pomo started settling, they quickly put down cities and managed to snag the top spot after episode 1, and continued to settle around. Though you could probably start to see the fissures at this point, not that they were bad, but that they could still be better. They were settling northeast, a perfect play to block off Tlingit and Ponca from getting there and ensuring they have a route through the Rockies, but they were struggling to keep up in production and food, and still had some notable gaps in their city locations. They settled two of those spots as they fell, but they should’ve been there far earlier to help the empire.

Things were looking up, I was looking up, I was thinking maybe this would be a repeat of the only other civ of mine that I’ve gotten in, Malacca, but maybe this time they won’t stumble, they’ll keep going and maintain a lead. Then Tlingit attacked, and Pomo struggled to bring enough units up to defend Behe’pal, but so were Tlingit, it only flipped the slightest bit but Pomo peaced out with it not in their hands, a fatal slip up that early, giving Tlingit a foothold and blocking off part of the north. But it’s okay, they continued on, continuing to grow.

Despite Pomo being a religious focused civ, they did not get a religion quickly, I don’t really know why. But y’know who did? Tlingit. And you know who got real strong bonuses? Tlingit. Notably they got God of the Sea, granting +1 Production and Faith on Sea Resources and Atolls, of which Tlingit had immense amounts of, giving a huge production boost early on and letting them easily secure a religion. Then they got Council Fires, granting +5 Science and Culture in cities with 10 followers, except it didn’t do that, it gave the bonus in *any* city. I’m not entirely sure why the mod broke like that, it seemed right from my looking at it, and it somehow didn’t get caught earlier, but man, this was strong as fuck. They got huge amounts of free faith, production, science, and culture, meanwhile Pomo had Ramadan which granted +2 Faith and Culture from Granaries and Water Mills but also -1 Food, further reducing their ability to gain population.

This is what ultimately spelled the doom of Pomo, despite how much they expanded, they had a neighbor who just got so much more, and with that, Tlingit couldn’t even let Pomo have peace. I wrote about this in one of the previous episodes, but Pomo has been at war with Tlingit or Anishinaabe (and Teo sometimes but they suck shit and didn’t take a city til the very end) for the vast majority of the game, they were not given a break at any point. I think there was a period where things looked like they could stand despite all the disadvantages they had, they were defending well against Tlingit when Tlingit was so much stronger and Pomo had so little army, but then Cebu jumped in to take Pomo’s real last chance, getting a bunch of safe island cities up and running to offset the rest being in constant siege. Couldn’t even have that.

So it’s rough that Pomo ended this game as the fourth one out. Had things gone a bit differently, had they got a better religion and Tlingit a worse one, had they settled things a bit faster, had they not lost that first city to Tlingit, then maybe, maybe, they would still be standing atop the world.

Next time I’ll get a bunch of civs in instead of 0 or 1 for sure, then things will look my way.

1: Pomo

Orange:

Next time I’ll get a bunch of civs in instead of 0 or 1 for sure, then things will look my way.

2: Ternate

Caitlyn (LynnWinn):

The unfortunate truth for this civilization is that their death is more a celebration of Cebu’s strength even when they are fucked two ways to Sunday to still net gain a city off of their warring into their lands. They were never a favorite civilization for the cylinder, & have ended up roughly where PRs initially expected them to be. Despite their best efforts, making some fun plays, they were likely doomed from the start, surrounded by powers just better suited for this game with better starts. Ride high space cowboy, see you in the submarine.

3: Ma’in

Shaggysnorlax :

Seychelles is doing much better than many on the Power Ranking team and this episode's narrator may be considering. Their consolidation of control over naval routes to the Red Sea combined with their methodical inroads being made into the core of Africa are a recipe for continued pressure on the Arabian Peninsula. Wait, this is the Ma'in writeup? Ok, this is the Ma'in writeup. It's only a matter of time

4: Pegu

Semi:

Why does this civ still exist? Gate of the Sun would be an amazing wonder for any civ to capture and yet they’re still here last in stats. Literally. I think they’re last place in every stat except Wonder Score (and ig Happiness) - they’re not last because we think Ternate might Actually Die and Ma’in…yeah idk how Ma’in is behind these guys given that Ma’in actually has better population and production than them.

5: Karankawa

JDT:

What do you want me to say about them? That they’re good? They’re not. They fucking suck and I want them to die

6: Ponca

Shaggysnorlax :

Poncans watch in horror as Pomo gets eviscerated before their eyes and see a similar fate for themselves all too soon. Now sharing significant borders with Tlingit, Anishinaabe, and Teotihuacan, Ponca's hopes for this season are all but dashed and they find themselves simply playing for survival placement. And survive they may. Until mountains become strategically neutral, Ponca should still be able to survive on just one city at worst. What else can I say? They're one of the turtleiest of the basement-tier.

7: Maravi

JDT:

They are awful but the only 2 civs can realistically kill them and both of them are awful at war. Also Luba keeps throwing units across the lake for no gains and no reason. Also they are the only civ in the entire game right now that is actively bankrupt. Yes thats right, even other members of the loser brigade like Ponca and Pegu haven’t hit such humiliating lows yet.

8: Phoenicia

Orange:

So from that big ol coalition Phoenicia lost a total of one city, also a lot of population, but notably just a singular city. It was a pretty core city of theirs, but still, for some reason these guys are just hard to conquer. Anyways here’s how Phoenicia can still win.

9: Papal States

Cloudy:

First the good news: Hansa is razing another Wallachian city near the Pope’s borders, potentially giving him another opportunity to settle on the ashes. The bad news? Wallachia’s own settler might get there first. And either way, the Papal States are still gonna suck, because wow just look at them.

10: Yunnan

Semi:

Yunnan climbs a rank over the Papal States as we realize their walls will actually keep them around for a very long time (their UA code may be even more busted than we originally thought). Otherwise though…yeah I really don’t have a lot to say about these guys. They’ll be here like a watered down version of Ket for a while but unable to break out or do much of anything.

Hey, it could be worse! You could be Pegu!

11: Xaragua

Reformer:

1-UP! Hell yeah. Xaragua, star of the week.

…

I hope Susquehannock gets to kill them.

12: Green Ukraine

ItsTruckMonth:

We got nothing to say about Mr. Potential Civ here, given he sucks cheeks, his stats are ass, and he’s surrounded by top 15 civs. Just know I’m keeping up this potential civ gimmick until he dies, and then the curse falls to a new civ (watch your fucking back for now MacArthur, you’re getting real close to being Yurii’s heir).

13: Sumer

Orange:

Well they are defending well against Seychelles, so that’s something. Good for them, good for them.

14: Wallachia

Archimedes :

Wallachia remarkably isn’t the worst civ in this game, but they sure are trying their best to be it. Gifting away yet another city to be burned to the ground is the kind of strategic decisions you can expect from someone who truly hates their own citizens. And, if the moniker isn’t enough of a clue for you, Vlad really does hate his citizens. With a fiery passion.

And so, in this past episode, Wallachia gifted away their city to the Hanseatic League, in a war that rarely threatened any of Wallachia's lands or cities. Buzau, an 11 population city in rich and productive lands, could have been a solid staging point to try to attack into the Papal States, but will instead be reduced to new settling space once the ashes and smoke have settled. It seems as every tile of Wallachian land is either stolen or gifted away, Wallachia grows smaller and less impactful in this game.

They will of course still be a thorn in the side of whoever decides to finish them off. Their Unique Temple replacement granting -10% strength to enemy units within 2 tiles means that any advancing army will need to brute force their way into Vlad’s lands, either through numerical superiority or through advanced technologies. And the latter is a very reasonable assumption, as Wallachia stunted their science for many episodes of this game through their astronomical debts. Wallachia in fact is still one of the most technologically backwards civs in this game, with only civs like Karankawa and Pegu beating them out.

At this point, Wallachia needs to concede this game. They seem intent on gifting away their cities, so a partition to Scythia, Circassia and the Papal States seems to be in order. With their empire reduced to one last city, someone can decide to put them out of their misery. Because honestly, they are one civ that I always dread seeing pop up in the slides, since I know they’ll be actively dragging themselves down no matter what point of the game it is.

15: Xavante

Reformer:

Xavante is boldly back to war with Caral, this time with minimal backup. I guess Tang can technically quarrel with Caral in the Pacific…but you’d hope for either Yanomami or Chono to get involved to give Xavante a good chance. Well, a better chance. I give Xavante fairly good odds of success here no matter what. Caral has failed to properly re-militarize in the brief moment of peace they had, and Xavante stands to capture the Caral city on the front. The city may be quite sturdy, but Xavante had captured a sturdy city from Caral before. Ultimately, I don’t think this changes Xavante’s trajectory much, but it is fun to watch!

16: Ethiopia

Archimedes :

Oh hohoho, oh hohohoho. What's that Zara? Your inaction and stagnation has caused you to get coalitioned? Surrounded on all sides losing cities as we speak? Zazzau besieging your Saharan holdings?

Good. Bozo.

This is what you get for stagnating so hard. For a civ that has a solid, defendable mountain core, with neighbours that were weakened and vulnerable, and for grabbing one of the best wonders in this game, you really dropped the ball.

Ethiopia at this point has really slipped in this game. 44th when it comes to stats, they only have 6 cities to their name at this point, and are actively starving as an empire. They may have a decent selection of wonders, but their production is abysmal and their science is decidedly below average. The only thing that might be saving them at this point is their high defence cities and their relatively decent selection of technologies, with gunpowder, exploration, and acoustics proving that Ethiopia is properly covered by military proficiency. But, as their neighbours encroach with equal or greater military units, things are really looking tenuous for Ethiopia's continued survival.

Ultimately, Ethiopia proves that despite having every early advantage you can muster, you can still fumble the ball and fall down the stairs. They at one point stood as a production powerhouse, with the angle to invade multiple civs at once. They could have, in fact, conquered Hyksos and become the preeminent religious leader in the cylinder, taking Pesedjet for themselves.

But they didn’t. You snooze, you lose bozo.

17: Bactria

Cloudy:

I asked Lacsirax Ariscal what I should write about Bactria and she said:

“The thing about Bactria is they’re too cool for the CBR. In real life Bactria was a hybrid of Greek and Indian culture that created some of the most singular art of the classical era. In this game, Bactria is forced to squat in the deserts of Central Asia where they don't have enough stone and jade to carve syncretic images of Zeus and the Buddha. It’s no surprise that they are performing a quiet quitting protest in response. I respect it, I love them, and if anyone says a bad word about them, I’m going back into the CBR save and giving them 500 giant death robots.”

There you have it folks.

18: Vyatka

Orange:

The Bjarmians and Vyatka are at war once again and I mean I don’t really know who’s gonna win there they are both not great but roughly equal in strength and it’s not too big of a front so in all likelihood they will grind some units down and then make peace for nothing gained by either side. That’s just the way the north works here for some reason.

19: Potiguara

Archimedes :

I’m really, really disappointed at Potiguara’s performance. Honestly, it hurts a little bit of my soul seeing how they’ve been doing the past few episodes. And the fact that I had to write the last episode was really the final nail in the coffin, as I watched Potiguara spend five slides and 15 turns besieging Catu.

With Composite Bowmen.

Potiguara is a civ that picked up Machinery on turn 232. It is 286 right now, and instead of upgrading their composite bowmen to try to do anything to this city, they are instead researching techs like Acoustics, Architecture, and Imperialism. They have avoided gunpowder, they have galleons but refuse to use them on coastal cities, they are doing everything in their power to throw away what little advantages they have in this game.

Potiguara has rumped themselves by stalemating with every single neighbour they have, at every opportunity. They have thrown themselves into the fray time and time again, with nothing to show for it. Instead of doing anything reasonable in this game, they have done their best to sully their reputation and burn what little goodwill any readers of this game may have for them.

At this point in the game, Potiguara has few cities, little production, mediocre science, and little prospects. The best thing they have going for them is the fact that Guaycuru and Xavante are also bad, and are acting as buffer states for Chono and Yanomami. Potiguara stands a better chance in this game surviving solely because the big dogs of South America have to eat breakfast before they can eat lunch, and if that isn’t an indictment about Potiguara’s overall standing, I don’t know what is.

Rip bozo, you earned this yourself.

20: Hyksos

Caitlyn (LynnWinn):

At least some civilizations can die in a cool way. Hyksos will remain uncool until they die a death in an episode between 25 & 35 that is both anticlimactic & somehow takes too damn long to get to anyway. Can’t even take a city practically given to them…

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Hanseatic League

21: Hanseatic League

Cloudy:

Wallachia gave you a large city in a peace treaty and you’re burning it to the ground? Bitch please! I thought Vlad was the evil one! It sucks that Jurgen Wullenwever has no vision or strategy and just burns up any opportunity to expand.

22: France

Orange:

Long ago France took on Portugal and grabbed some cities off of them, since then Portugal has grown to have 50% more cities than France. Now, Portugal’s production per city is still one of the lowest and they are 100 production behind somehow, but like, they can grow those cities, many are just recently founded. And what’s France done in that time? Well, they got attacked by Hansa and couldn’t take the free city that Hansa tried to give them. I think their time is over, just gotta wait for someone to devote the resources to take them out.

23: Bjarmians

Reformer:

After eons of warfare with Estonia, Bjarmians make peace on status quo borders. What a waste! And now, we’re right back to it with Vyatka, another unending stalemate! Truly, if Bjarmians weren’t fucked before, the centuries of fruitless bloodshed will take the last remaining wind from their sails. It is sad to see.

24: Estonia

Cloudy:

Right on the heels of that Bjarmians write-up, let me say uhhhhhhh exactly the same shit? They made peace with the Bjarmians and kept the same borders despite flipping a city. That’s all they did. I’m very annoyed. They even seem to have a relatively large state-of-the-art army full of frigates and musketmen! Are they afraid to use it?

25: Kipchaks

Cloudy:

Another episode of inactivity for the Kipchaks, another 15 turns closer to their only opportunity for a breakout slipping out of their grasp. The Kipchaks haven’t done anything new in a long time so there’s not a lot to say except that they have to either wake up soon, or not at all.

26: Luba

Reformer:

Luba kinda just harasses poor ol weak Maravi this episode. Instead you should try to carpet and maybe go for Ethiopia, who is both easier to attack and already fighting a different foe. It can’t be this hard to form the bare minimum of strategy. Come on Luba, do one cool thing, even just one cool thing…

27: Umhaill

Shaggysnorlax :

Umhaill rises two ranks this week largely due to their continued persistence. Honestly, they would probably drop rather than rise if it weren't for their comparably reasonable stats for the region. They sit amongst the truly mediocre and maintain themselves, slowly and ploddingly, through the ages. Sweet Nebby, these guys are boring!

28: Kalmar Union

Shaggysnorlax :

The Kalmar Union drops two ranks this week largely due to their continued stagnation. Honestly, they would probably drop further if it weren't for their comparably reasonable stats for the region. They sit amongst the truly mediocre and maintain themselves, slowly and ploddingly, through the ages. Sweet Nebby, these guys are boring!

29: Guaycuru

JDT:

Guaycuru goes up by 2 as a result of some tactical readjustments and the war with Potiguara stalling out a bit in their favour. Their position remains the same - potentially good, but being eternally in the grasp of the awoken giant of Chono. They have viable paths to get out of the rut they’re in and into another echelon by having a competent war against Potiguara or Xavante. There are just 2 problems. 1. Having a competent war against these 2 is a bit of a harder order due to their defensiveness. And 2. Even if they do it Chono can just invade them, and in that circumstance they literally just die with nothing they can do. So yeah, I hope Eso blows his kisses on a dice roll.

30: Herero

Archimedes :

Look, I know it’s been said before but I need to say it again.

If Herero goes to war against Luba, they will succeed.

This time it will be different.

As Herero continues to plod along in the South of Africa, they seem to not be able to decide if they’re good or not. They of course have a blanket of mounted units they could do something with, and Maravi to their east to invade. But, the AI seems allergic to actually taking the cities, instead preferring to citadel their land away. Maybe, Jacob Morenga prefers the buffer state in between Herero and Seychelles, that enigmatic naval empire who can take on Ethiopia no problem but fails to deal with Sumer. Who’s to say.

Despite that, Herero tumbled down the stats just for existing, dropping -8 as other empires claw their way to the top. With only 13 cities, 37 techs, and a production worse than Cebu, they’re not in a great spot. But they sit at -2 unhappiness, and have no room to capture new cities. They lack key military technologies that would keep them competitive, and are not near anything that could grant them more happiness.

So they languish away, sitting with knights uselessly, doing not much but preparing to be fodder for another, more powerful empire. They are currently researching Astronomy, which would be a good bolster worth of science, but the naval technologies it leads to have already been grabbed by their neighbours. With no positional advantage, and no timing to speak of, I fear Herero will have to continue in mediocrity.

Until, that is, they conquer Luba. Next time they can do it, trust me.

31: Portugal

Shaggysnorlax :

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Portugal drops the killing blow on Wassoulou and somehow drop a rank themselves for the trouble! What a travesty! Fine, ok, the warmonger penalty might put a target on their backs at a time when they are very happily expanding so I get it. They are in a precarious state and will be for a while. Peak middle of the rankings fodder.

32: Onondaga

Archimedes :

Onondaga is a civ that, on paper, looks kind of great right now. With 17 cities, a solid army, a religion and a wonder, you wouldn’t be mistaken to say that Onondaga has some things going for them. But peel back the crust, and you’ll see just how worm-eaten the pie really is.

Looking first at their cities, though they may have a grand total of 17, you can really only consider 6 of them to be truly productive, with another two or three to be tangentially productive. That’s because those two or three are in the far north of Canada, in the rugged stretches of Quebec that are known for their tundra expanses swathed with pine and frigid cold. They then have 8 cities settled in bare snow and ice, in the cold expanses of both Nunavut and Greenland, where any actual productivity is sparse at best. These cities may look good on a spreadsheet, but any empire to capture these through war is better off putting them to the torch than trying to turn such awful cities into something useful.

Their army score, while impressive, is another sticking point for the civ. Their lands are filled with unit after unit of Knights, a mounted unit that packs a punch, perhaps 100 turns ago. These knights were keen to sweep across the lands of Anishinaabe or Susquehannock at some point, but as the turns have gone by, both of these civs are fielding musketmans or better, and their cities are resistant to being blitzed down. What military Onondaga has is ineffective in actually taking cities, something they desperately need to do.

Then of course, we need to look at the wonder and religion they’ve garnered. Onondaga picked up the Templo Mayor nearly 200 turns ago, a wonder that essentially only gives a production boost to building new wonders. Has Onondaga picked up any new wonders?

No.

Then, their religion was founded over 250 turns ago, and lets them… build Ancient, Classical, and Medieval wonders +20% faster. An incredible pick up for a civ that has ceased to use these abilities to any good use. Their additional beliefs grant a bit of extra faith, gold, and just a bit of culture, acting as essentially dead weight compared to the other, much more profitable religions in North America. An absolute waste.

Ultimately, Onondaga looks awfully situated once you take a peek behind the curtain. Once Karankawa and Ponca are eliminated from North America, Onondaga is the clear next target for those looking to expand their empire, but most of what can be nabbed is looking worse for wear at best. It seems Onondaga’s best use right now is as a buffer state between Anishinaabe and Susquehannock, allowing Susq to try to grow just a bit faster before Anishinaabe can ultimately make an attempt at securing the continent for themselves. I expect once that war begins, Onondaga will be relegated to Greenland for many an episode, while they wither away and finally perish to somebody's more competent hand.

33: Zazzau

Orange:

Zazzau takes a breather after wiping out Wassoulou to consolidate and build up and- hold on I’m getting a call… Yeah what’s up? Huh? No… They did what? Uh huh… What do you mean they- No yeah I got that part. Really? That’s wild. Okay okay talk to you later love you mwah mwah. Alright so it turns out Zazzau decided they haven’t had enough of beating up civs that have previously beaten them, as now they are invading Ethiopia, quite successfully. At this rate Amina is gonna take on Aures and win to unite the continent, hats off to her.

34: Bunuba

Semi:

Plenty of press has been laid on Pomo for being targeted and just never giving up under such assault. Where is that same kind of press for Bunuba? NSW, on the stats sheet, has consistently been almost as much of a monster as Tlingit. And, unlike Tlingit, there is exactly one place NSW can attack (other than, apparently, Mysore’s random one tile colonies) - Bunuba. Combine that with a Lanfang who’s been equally as competent as Anishinaabe and you get a civ who’s been constantly under siege. But have they wavered? Not really. They were easily winning a war against Ternate until getting hugely distracted by a coalition. They took Quellon from Chono. They reached out and settled Polynesia - after ceding their first settlement to Chono, sure. Add another drawn war onto it this episode - the brief war with Caral threatened to pile onto problems posed by NSW’s now-fifth land invasion - and you get a war record that doesn’t look all that bad.

Sure, we can chalk some of Bunuba’s tenacity up to NSW incompetence. But to be (net) down only one forward-settled colony city to a respected civ in Lanfang, and net zero with Caral? That is, in my opinion, impressive. That’s not to say that Bunuba stands any chance of winning this game. I just think their fight has been severely under-reported.

35: Caral

Shaggy:

Holy ragebait, Caral! No literally, holy ragebait Caral. They started a holy war with Bunuba and snookered all of their spiritual allies into it only to back out at the first possible moment. Why? Just because they can? There are far more pressing matters to attend to with Xavante advancing on Huraicanga and a bevy of other rivals floating around the Pacific to contend with. They move up one rank even though I think they should have been moved down due to aimless and ineffective uses of digital political capital.

36: Cebu

Shaggy:

41 total mentions of “Cebu” in the meat of the episode this week. The Eye of Sauron is upon them and they are uncharacteristically struggling with all of the attention. Koi was burned to the ground this week and Lanfang awoke to find that Cebu had ousted Ternate from Sidangoli and didn’t take kindly to that, news must get there slower or something. These losses are the first significant losses that I can think of for Cebu this season. I hope they aren’t slowing down, they are the clear crowd favorites and they have so so so many options to pursue after their spectacular early game. Perhaps the warmonger streak is catching up to them. Eh, they’ll be fine in the long run unless Tang or New South Wales figure out how to do navy good. A massive 7 rank drop for them as their need to reinforce and regroup stands out.

37: Bangladesh

Archimedes :

There isn’t too much to say about Bangladesh, a civ that hasn’t done much exciting in the past few episodes. Their position between a militarized Mysore, a bloodthirsty Lanfang, and the productive powerhouse Tang is one that leaves little hope in terms of long term prospects. But, as a civ that is generally geared towards the late game, do they maybe, possibly, perhaps have a chance?

Probably not. But…

Bangladesh is really geared towards hitting their stride coming up in the next era or so. Their Unique Constabulary replacement, the Monument of Martyrs, is the first piece in this late game scaling puzzle. Whenever Bangladesh signs a peace treaty, the Monument of Martyrs provides a 10 turn We Love The King Day to the city, and provides +1 happiness for every We Love The King Day that the city has had since the construction of the building. With diplomatic wars being prevalent in this game, and over 55 civs that Bangladesh could declare war on, the amount of potential peace treaties means that Bangladesh’s cities could soon be looking at continuous WLTKD’s and an ever expanding amount of happiness,

Working with this, their UI doubles golden age points during the duration of a peace treaty, and their capital gains culture from each citizen during a golden age. With each of their cities printing potentially absurd amounts of happiness, their golden age points will be churning like wildfire, allowing Bangladesh to not only gain additional culture, but also the increase of gold and production that every civilization receives.

If Bangladesh can manage to survive until the modern age, they will of course unlock their Unique Machine Gun replacement, the Mukti Bahini. Granting even more golden age points when either garrisoned in a city or when killing enemy units, Bangladesh is keen to get golden age points from three separate sources, allowing them a plethora of golden ages, the production and gold that comes with them, and the happiness to support conquering their neighbours if the opportunity allows. If Mysore and Lanfang continue to stay peaceful towards their green neighbour, we are ready to see a slow and continuous ramping into likely the happiest civilization on the whole cylinder.

As long as they don’t die, of course.

38: Circassia

Reformer:

Circassia finishes off a successful war against Phoenicia– sure, could’ve been more successful…but hey, Scythia’s back in town, you gotta do what you gotta do. We take what we can. Two cities off of Phoenicia is excellent, now we hope to see Scythia stonewalled once more. The muskets Scythia is bringing to bear are concerning, but Circassia has a noteworthy fleet in the Black Sea to defend the Crimean city, and the Caucasus is of course a massive pain to attack into. All you need to do is hold, so hold, motherfucker! As long as you hold, you have a future! You’re doing great in tech, your stats are rising, you can remain relevant. So just hold.

39: Mysore

Archimedes :

Things have been generally quiet with Mysore, who has been plodding along working on their core and researching technologies. As they continue to pluck away at the tech tree, the most notable thing they’re headed towards is fortification, a technology that not only unlocks greater defenses, but also the impressive Field Gun. Boasting a terrifying 48 combat strength against cities, there’s definitely something Mysore could do against their neighbours, if they were to build up a force and attack.

Oh wait, New South Wales is on their way.

New South Wales, with their Indian Ocean fleet of galleons, line infantry, and field guns of their own, has taken out two of Mysore’s island cities, and seems bent on sailing their way to Mysore lands and conquering whatever they can see. With their Sri Lanka city a perfect next target, we might actually see Mysore begin shedding important cities in the near future. Researching fortification couldn’t have come at a better time.

In addition, Mysore’s new Cushoon is primed to defend against this foreign invasion. The Cushoon is built with two Rockets, 30 strength one time use missiles that can be fired over two tiles, allowing Mysore to defend hopefully easily against the initial wave of enemies. They may not have the highest production to rebuild units, nor are they in a positive happiness at the moment, but Mysore at least has a chance to defend well if the fleet ends up crashing against their walls.

40: Qara-Khitai

ItsTruckMonth:

Qara holds steady at their 19th spot this episode, and their carpet has a large part in doing so, as the Ordo Horde now makes up the sixth largest military on the cylinder. Pair that with solid production, and there’s a good reason why they’re a top 20 civ.

There’s just ooooooone tiny problem, though: they’re not the biggest dawg around. Both their neighbours, Ket and Rouran, possess larger AND more technologically advanced carpets, while their easiest expansion opportunity, the Kipchaks, possess a similarly sized military whilst standing behind the Tian Shen mountains. Any expansion by Qara is going to be a bloody mess, but it may be the shot they need to take if they want to break out by any means.

41: Scythia

Reformer:

THE PAIN TRAIN IS BACK, BABY! CIRCASSIA IS ON THE MENU! …Well, you’d hope so, anyway. Didn’t work out so great last time. Scythia is certainly in much better shape than last time– no longer unhappy, actually bringing an army to the war, and looking good enough on mil tech. And yet, I don’t have much hope for Scythia in this war. Circassia has kept up in tech and stats just fine, and notably has the terrain advantage. Caucasus is not just any terrain advantage, either, it is one of the best you can have. I do not envy Scythia’s position here. I think the best they can hope for is to get Crimea, and then move on. I hear Vyatka and Bjarmians are distracted with each other right now, that sounds like a great chance to intervene opportunistically.

42: Yanomami

JDT:

Let us be clear here - the rise of the Yanomami to 17th is not due to anything of their own competence. It is entirely due to the fall off of the civs that were above them last week. Cebu got hard ganked, and we are increasingly unconvinced by Scythia and Qara Khitai’s statlines and abilities to have major game impact in the near future. Yanomami themselves are still, in my opinion, decidedly hardstuck in spite of very, very respectable stats. They got lucky to be able to scam cities off Xaragua, and luckier still that there is no hard power in Brazil to threaten them. This doesn’t really matter. Teo and Caral are very difficult nuts to crack, and the Amazon and a bevy of mountains and hills makes theoretical invasions of Potiguara and Xavante quite a challenge. And that's not even mentioning the ticking timer of Chono laying in wait in the south! Yes Xaragua exist but even they are a small consolation that can get stolen at any time by any coastal North American power (or Portugal but we don’t talk about the Portugal incident). Needless to say, it will take some panache to get out of this current predicament.

43: Scotland

JDT:

Scotland's just generally really weird man. They are by most measures one of the only civs in Europe who has the potential to make something of themselves, possessing by far the best statline on the continent. But all their power is concentrated on the British isles, with Umhaill still in the prowl, and they don’t really have pushovers to exploit on the mainland despite everyone on the mainland being kinda mid. I seriously don’t know how to assess Mary. Are they a sleeping giant waiting for that one good war? Or are they Qara Khitai in an even stranger and similarly compromised situation?

44: Japan

Shaggy:

Pacific burnt Koi

Japan rises three whole ranks

It’s snowing on Mt. Fuji

45: Susquehannock

Shaggy:

A sleepy episode for Old Sheehays and the Susquehannock. Their lust for Poncan territory has a Karankawa in the way so there isn’t much to do on that front for now. Anishinaabe are looking mighty empty in their southern territory and Old Sheehays would do well to consider taking some of that for himself. To the north, Onondaga continues to be Susquehannock’s little brother, looking similar but just doing a bit worse in every way. This is all to say that the opportunities for Susquehannock remain largely due to their consistent growth and their neighbors being focused on other things.

46: Lanfang

ItsTruckMonth:

Lanfang finally moves on to their archipelagic rival to the east, and it's going…underwhelmingly? So far, they’ve only managed to nab the former Ternate city of Sidangoli and have promptly begun burning it down, and they have only just begun sieging Parlan. For a civ that alone eclipses Cebu’s stats handily, this is a pretty underwhelming showing, especially when they are partnering with Japan to give Humabon two fronts to worry about (and Hideyoshi is looking like the bigger winner so far).

I do expect things to start ramping up here in a bit, though. Cebu’s production, standing at nearly a third of Lanfang’s and Japan’s combined, is not gonna be able to keep up with the pace of the war, and their inability/unwillingness to research Navigation could be the coalition’s lifeline. Only time will tell if Lanfang has what it takes to put down the DAWG in Cebu.

47: Itelmen

Archimedes :

For a civ that is doing very little in this game, the Itelmen certainly are doing well. Arguably stronger than Japan to their south, the Itelmen have secured themselves a broad land base and a good technological holding, making attacking and conquering them a difficult prospect. Unfortunately, most of Itelmen’s neighbours are in similar situations, besides the rump state that is Green Ukraine. Do the Itelmen have a chance when their most direct neighbour has nearly doubled their production?

If there is one thing that Itelmen really have going for them, it’s the few cities they’ve nabbed that are on rivers. Hiroshima and Nikolaevsk-Ussurisky are nicely positioned along river systems, allowing the Itelmen to utilize both their UA and UBs. The Kist in particular is a great boon to growing cities, providing +2 food, +1 culture, and an additional +20% food stored after growth. These two cities will be large and in charge in no time, and if Itelmen can push into Green Ukraine with their new cannons, they can likely grab even more river cities for themselves.

Ultimately, the Itelmen are not going to last forever in this game, being sandwiched between the number two and number one ranked civs in this game. They have however built up a very respectable empire from their previous prospects, and have really turned this game around. Whoever does end up conquering them is in for a rough time, and could be the difference maker in who eventually comes out on top in this game.

48: Aures

Archimedes :

Readers, I’m here to be the herald of news. Many people have come and gone with the declaration, but I’m the one to codify it. To write it in stone. The papers on every news stand will be emblazoned with these words come tomorrow morning. But, dear reader, you get to hear it first.

The age of Aures is over. The age of Seychelles has begun.

And don’t get me wrong, I also don’t like Seychelles. But I’ve been here denying the power of Aures for episode after episode. With the coming of Seychelles and the coming of Zazzau, we now have pure, empirical evidence that Aures is washed. Let’s dig into this.

Aures has been slowly but steadily dropping down the stats page, in a remarkable level of stagnation. Sitting at 12th actively, behind civs like Rouran, Teotihuacan, and even Itelmen, it’s clear that Aures hasn’t been a top 10 power in quite some time. Their production stands at 397, and their crops only boast a food surplus of 13, a still respectable but decidedly not all powerful number. Their 22 cities is still a decent count, but with many of their cities in and on the edge of the desert, the cities are of questionable quality. And, their military is actually somewhat sparse at the moment, below other moderately armed civilizations like the Kalmar Union, Estonia, and Portugal.

I won’t lie to you though, Aures isn’t completely washed. Their effective science is very respectable at 577, at or above other contenders like Teotihuacan, Itelmen and Rouran. Their total techs are a bit sparse, but they have nabbed key economic milestones like Chemistry, Machinery, and Humanism. Their happiness right now is at 30, a solid buffer if they were to decide to invade a neighbour, allowing for well performing troops and the space to capture at least two cities without growing unhappy.

But, with Seychelles and Zazzau moving to envelop Ethiopia, Aures is losing out on valuable conquering time. These two neighbours seem to be on a better trajectory for growth, with both civs having access to Luba, Herero, Maravi, and Ethiopia as fodder. Aures is cut off from easier conquering targets, stuck along Northern Africa with a difficult to navigate Mediterranean in the way. Though Aures has Navigation and Chemistry, two key military technologies for conquering cities, using land in conjunction with naval units is a difficult task for the AI. That additional bit of accounting is reasonable for a human player, but requires brute strength and overwhelming odds for an AI opponent.

So, we stand at a bit of a crossroads. As Zazzau continues to push east into Ethiopia, their lands are open for a backstab. Whether Aures will decide to do so next episode is a question only the author can answer, but my bet is on stagnation. And though I dislike Seychelles, I will revel in watching Aures get eclipsed by their neighbours. And I will revel in Zazzau getting their underdog story, and taking down Aures in the final hour.

49: Seychelles

JDT:

The Seychelles have brought upon a conundrum - the intangibles conundrum. On one hand, the Seychelles should in theory by every measure be a prima donna powerhouse ready to sweep the Indian Ocean. They have excellent stats, good military, and an ample enough stronghold in Oman to do a large land invasion of Sumer. The issue is that this is just not happening at the moment. They seem content letting Sumer have a field trip over their settlements and seem impotent in assaulting Phoenicia. Of course, this can change at any moment, but the troop positioning does not look ideal in this.

However, this episode, something big happened - the Seychelles managed to actually secure a city on land. The capture of Mbewe can be seen as either a proof of their legitimacy or of Ethiopia’s fraudulence, I don’t really contest either observation. But with Mbewe down, they now have the potential to sweep through East Africa and the Horn of Africa, becoming the dominating power we think they can be. Will they actually do it? Only time will tell.

50: Teotihuacan

Semi:

Hey look! It’s someone not named Archimedes again this week! What is this, the Twilight Zone?

No, instead you get the resident Teotihuacan doomer. Over the first part of this season, I was extremely negative on Teotihuacan. They didn’t have the stats, they didn’t have the drive, and they didn’t have the geography. The amount of “I told you so” I felt after the Cholula conquest was exceptional. But after that…it’s hard not to say that Teo has turned their game around. The Polynesian settlements during the episode I narrated were not only super cool and out of nowhere, but they have expanded Teo’s reach and allow for the prosperous, populous island cities we see in the Caribbean or elsewhere in the world. Their science has reached the point now where they’re respectably in the top tier - at 524, it’s over 100 clear of Yanomami and less than 100 back of Tlingit. And…they broke out. Now, let’s temper the excitement. Two cities taken from Pomo, while Tlingit took eight, is no major achievement. But getting out of the difficult Sonoran and Chihuahuan geography is what’s stifled many past Mesoamericans, and they’re through to the California coast and Great Salt Lake. The +2 rank jump back into the top 10 thus puts them in a position that I think is fair: an empire with a really good position, and an outside shot at winning the game. Who knows? Crazier things have happened. Chukchi won a CBR.

51: Pakistan

JDT:

Pakistan remains the exact same. High stats, high potential, still unwilling to do anything. Sumer and Bactria are right there buddy. Hell, at this point I think even a war with Mysore will net some big dividends. The world’s open for you buddy. Just gotta wake up to it.

52: Rouran

Caitlyn (LynnWinn):

Rouran, more than anything else, is an athlete in the presence of superhumans. This is not a unique situation in this game or even this specific season, but it is a civilization that heavily depends on what they do with their relatively massive military in a region currently full of very strong powers. The bare minimum they should do is decimate Grukraine before Tang or anyone else decides they’re an easy lunch. A war with Tang in the medium term isn’t a bad idea but I’m not convinced it’s enough at this time to do much long term damage. Also Rouran’s science is pretty good.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of New South Wales

53: New South Wales

Archimedes:

Some might say New South Wales is enigmatic as a civ, as they have failed to properly invade Bunuba time and time again. And yet, John Macarthur boasts some of the strongest and most technologically advanced military in this game, with Line Infantry sailing the Indian Ocean on their way to their next target. As the first civ to get Line Guns, we should expect a proper invasion at some point, but all they’ve managed to do is take a few one tile island cities.

But, with Mysore potentially being their breakout target, New South Wales may finally be securing themselves a mainland hold. Mysore has plenty of defenses, and is going for Fortification themselves, but New South Wales might be able to crash through anyways. Cushoon present a problem of course, but I feel confident that at least the city of Hassan on Sri Lanka could fall.

To back up this naval invasion, John has notably also researched Navigation, finally securing frigates for use in the New South Wales navy. A powerful combination, this civ now has both naval and land supremacy, meaning that their current or future invasions have an even better chance at succeeding. Their -2 unhappiness is a bit of a hamper in a long term sweep, but grabbing a city and peacing out to stabilize is always a path to success, at least in the short term.

54: Anishinaabe

ItsTruckMonth:

The Anishinaabe drop slightly as the Pomo Annihilation Campaign comes to a close, with Pontiac only nabbing one city out of the whole affair. Now, the Anishinaabeg absolutely belong in this top 10 club, having elite production and science stats, as well as some great turf and an easy expansion opportunity in what remains of the Ponca. The issue is that right now, their situation is absolutely terrifying.

Their military is insanely small for the region, sitting at around 10,000 troops, and sits below the Onondaga and far, FAR below that of the big dawg of the region: Tlingit. Hell, the looming shadow of the season’s top player so far possesses three times the military might, a 300 production lead, and 4 more techs, including flintlock. If the Anishinaabe want to compete, they need to rearm to counter the threat the ravens pose, and they need to rearm ASAP.

55: Ket

Cloudy:

Ket has just been defensemaxxing and building forts in the snow, presumably because winter is coming, and white walkers with it. Or something. They haven’t actually done anything in quite a long time, and I’m starting to get big Yakutia vibes from them, especially if they go a few more episodes without a relevant war. Due to the sheer mass of their production and army, they should be able to defeat any of their neighbors... but do they have the will?

56: Chono

ItsTruckMonth:

Chono sit comfortably at the number 3 spot in this episode's rankings, and have quite possibly established themselves as the easy frontrunners to dominate South America. They stand tied for the most techs in the game, as well as having a solid lead in production and military manpower amongst the South American nations (even if a lot of that manpower lies in their navy).

Not only that, but with them grabbing the Red Fort wonder (which provides +25% effectiveness in all defensive buildings within the empire), they have established themselves as a defensive powerhouse. Pair them with some more aggression and a stronger land force, and both Tang and Tlingit should watch their backs when it comes to competing for that number 1 spot.

57: Tang

ItsTruckMonth:

Tang remains in their dominant 2nd spot for the third episode in a row (fun fact: the last time Tang was ranked outside of the top 2 was episode 2!), and for good reason: 2nd highest production, tied for the most techs in the game, and high crop yields. Impressive stuff!

What’s less impressive is their military, only standing at just over 11,000 troops. This puts them at roughly 16th place, less than half of their western neighbour, Rouran, and just barely over their eastern neighbour Japan. It also doesn’t put them in a good position to expand either, which puts them at risk of stagnating. Tang needs to start getting some initiative, lest they risk falling out of their beloved top 2 rankings.

58: Tlingit

Archimedes :

You’re looking at the absolute top dog on the cylinder right now, and frankly? It’s not even close.

Looking at these monster stats and these monster lands with their monster army and their monster drive, you would be mistaken if you said that Tlingit doesn’t have it in them to win it all. But, after such an aggressive push to destroy the last remaining remnants of Pomo, has Tlingit marked themselves as the number one target in North America? Or will they continue to push through their neighbours until nothing is left.

Their thorough and brutal takedown of Pomo marks the first elimination in North America, ahead of other contenders like Karankawa, Ponca, and even Xaragua. With a fielded army of gunpowder units, and plenty of gunsmiths to boost their already absurd production of 800 an additional +25%, the overwhelming march of boots along the Rocky Mountain corridor spelled doom for Essie. This military is still kicking around, and frankly there are plenty of juicy targets that Tlingit could pivot to next, like Anishinaabe who’s lacking in manpower, Teotihuacan who’s lacking in military technologies, or Ponca who’s lacking in just about everything. Time will tell which is the first target, though with the proclamation at the end of the last episode, it’s looking to potentially be Teotihuacan.

If they were to pivot and immediately invade a neighbour, Tlingit is in a great position to do so. Most notably, their happiness is at 50, meaning they have the flexibility to absorb many new cities into their empire without needing to raze any. Their production as mentioned before is absurd, and Tlingit still has the technology lead over all of their neighbours, just one technology shy from being the tech leader on the cylinder. As their scientists work towards manufacturing, you can expect that absurd production to get another juicy bump, with factories likely on the horizon too.

If there was one thing you could point to that Tlingit is currently lacking in, it’s raw scientific output. Though they’ve managed to nearly be at the forefront of technological progress, their recently settled cities and recently conquered empire is ballooning their technology costs, meaning they don’t quite have the effective science to compete anymore. Tlingit happens to be a whole 240 less science than Pakistan, the current raw output leader. But of course, as these new cities begin to grow in population, and the former Pomo cities are stabilized and rebuilt, we’re likely to see Tlingit’s science rise and rise to meet their former astronomical heights.

So, with that all said, I think there’s a very solid reason why most people seem to think Tlingit will win this game. A strong early game, a productive religion with an unfortunately busted kicker, a core of cities that was able to pump out wonders, and the drive to conquer their neighbours. Keep an eye on the next few episodes to see who Tlingit targets next, as there is a chance that a well timed coalition could actually do some damage against Tlingit. I guess.

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